


Soup's On

by OfFansAndFlames



Category: Naruto
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe, Angst and Humor, Awkward Crush, Character Development, Complete, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, M/M, Mental Health Issues, POV Sasuke, Psychological Trauma, Sasuke/Naruto/Sasuke, Scars, Side Pairing: Suigetsu/Karin, Slow Romance, Teen Romance, Uchiha brother bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-30
Updated: 2016-09-17
Packaged: 2018-03-09 16:19:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 64
Words: 377,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3256430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfFansAndFlames/pseuds/OfFansAndFlames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a bloody altercation at school, the courts sentence Sasuke to one hundred hours of community service. Sasuke takes employment at Saint Magdalene's soup kitchen, where he meets a headstrong vagrant who will change the course of his life.</p><p>COMPLETE</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sasuke scooped out a large spoonful of a rather questionably smelling minestrone soup for the umpteenth time this evening, the pewter ladle making a low scraping sound against the large bucket. This was his second week working in the Saint Magdalene's soup kitchen, and by all means, it had not grown on him. The people smelled funny, his "coworkers" were obnoxious, and he wasn't getting paid a cent. His face clearly spoke for him: I don't want to be here. And if he had any choice in the matter, he would have broken through the exit doors the second after he'd arrived.

However, as the situation stood, he had not the slightest choice in the matter. The lesson everyone wanted him to learn was not to fight in school. In truth, this had expressed the importance of not getting caught. Sasuke would never dream of breaking another student's nose in front of his history teacher, so by all means, Sasuke's punishment was wholly effective . After his day in court, of which he'd had several, he was suspended for two weeks and appointed with one hundred hours of court-ordered community service. It was either this or juvenile hall. The steely judge made it clear that if Sasuke so much as jay-walked, he wasn't leaving that ugly grey building for quite a while. He could thank his brother, an aspiring lawyer, for garnering him such a merciful verdict.

The large room was bordered by cream-colored walls, decorated with ads for church musicals and a schedule for weekend services. The room smelled of chicken, antibacterial soap, and the slightest hint of body odor. There were seven large circular tables around the room. As their parents chattered, children zipped between the tables, playing with a couple cheap plastic toys and banging them against the legs of the table. The elderly would smile at them, or perhaps stick to themselves and mutter over a salad. The denizens chattered loudly, a steady level of laughter at times punctuated by a child shouting or someone coughing.

An elderly man in a stained sweatsuit shuffled up to Sasuke, humbly holding forward his bowl in supplication. Sasuke's outfit and his meticulous hairstyle offered quite the juxtaposition, the two standing in front of each other now. With a flat face, Sasuke poured him a bowl. The man's gratitude was received with a curt nod as the worker next to Sasuke offered him a chicken breast.

"Oh, Sasuke!"

Sasuke closed his eyes and let out a long sight through gritted teeth. He forgot the woman's name, but he could recognize that nasally tone in an instant.

"What?" he answered out of pure obligation, knowing that she wouldn't leave until he acknowledged her.

The turkey-necked coworker to his left nudged his arm, smiling at him widely.

"You wouldn't be interested in coming to service on Sunday, would you?"

Sasuke opened his eyes again, preparing his ladle to serve an older woman with a slight hobble in front of him.

"No."

"Oh, but Sasuke… We worry about you. Have you accepted Jesus into your heart?"

Sasuke waited to serve the next denizen before responding.

"No," Sasuke answered, in a tone growing still icier.

The woman prattled on, Sasuke tuning her out adeptly. He finally just gave up and stopped responding. He expected this much, volunteering in a soup kitchen owned by the church. They were determined; he'd give them that. He knew they saw another "soul in peril" the minute Itachi sighed him up for this. They knew why he was here. They'd smile at him and try to pry their way in, for his own good, they'd say. Sasuke thought it looked a lot more like trying to converting another poor, misguided sap to their God squad so that they'd feel that their life was just a little less pointless. But Sasuke didn't want to hear about God. He didn't want to humor any of these people. He just wanted to do his job and go home.

His eyes scanned the room. It was an especially busy night. It was then that he took note of the scrawny boy several people down the line, the right side of his face and his shirt collar lightly covered in dirt. He remembered this kid. This time, just like last week , he had been one of the first patrons to enter, loudly shouting "Soup's on!" the instant he cleared the doorway, children giggling. Never mind the fact that they hadn't even served soup last week. He had half a mind to ask one of the other volunteers if the kid said this every week, but given how difficult it could be to end these conversations, beginning one was the last thing on Sasuke's mind.

Even aside from his noisy entrance, the boy caught Sasuke's attention. It wasn't often that he saw people his age in the kitchen. He couldn't have been older than 16, and he appeared to be alone. An oversized grey Led Zeppelin T-shirt contrasted with his wirey frame, a pair of (unintentionally) ripped, faded blue jeans completing the picture. He had wild blond hair, rather intense blue eyes, and scarred cheeks. Sasuke momentarily wondered how the boy had come by such peculiar scars. They were three lines working outward on each cheek, just the slightest bit jagged but for the most part straight. He was bouncing in his spot, a wide, dopey smile on his face as he excitedly waited for his fill.

As his turn came, he trotted up to Sasuke, stumbling over his shoelace in his eagerness. He pattered forward a couple small steps and caught himself against the rail where he sat his tray.

"So, chef, what's on the menu?" he asked, leaning forward and looking up at Sasuke with a bright smile.

"Minestrone. Enjoy."

He unceremoniously plunked the sludgy substance in the diner's bowl. Said diner made quite a display of sniffing in the scent, deep into his lungs.

"Mmm, this smells delicious! Like if God were to eat a garden of tomatoes and the tastiest vegetables on earth and shit them all out, it would be this soup right here."

Sasuke twerked an eyebrow at him, appearing rather unamused. The kid's spirit seemed boundless. The wheat-colored head of hair looked back into the line, which stared back impatiently.

"Right. Well thanks for the grub, sourpuss!"

Sasuke quietly watched the boy move forward in the line, slightly distracted but not lagging for a moment when the next person in line asked to be served. With that, Sasuke forgot about the miniature twist to his standard day in the soup kitchen. The sky darkened, and the number of diners slowly began to dwindle. Sasuke glanced at the clock, eagerly awaiting cleanup time. There were always a handful of people who stayed until closing time. He noted that the teenager remained even after finishing his meal, chatting it up with strangers and entertaining the children. He seemed to thrive on it, beaming as he imitated voices for the kids with plenty of dramatic hand movements, joking with their parents. They seemed familiar with each other. Naruto must have been a regular.

The lead volunteer then stood, giving a short speech before announcing, "Thank you so much for coming, everyone. It was a joy to have you for dinner. We're closing up for the night. I hope you join us next week."

All of the guests left… That is, except the kid that had addressed him earlier. He walked up to Sasuke, the smile never leaving his face.

"Hi! I'm Naruto."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Didn't you hear her? We're closing."

"What's your name?" Naruto asked, holding out his hand to shake Sasuke's.

"Go home."

Sasuke was tired. He just wanted to clean his dishes and go, not entertain some idiot. Naruto scrunched his nose in distaste, speaking in a tone of mock hurt.

"Go home? Geez, you really know how to make a hobo feel loved."

A tan finger raised up to his eye to rub away an imaginary tear, sniffing playfully. Sasuke inwardly cringed at his choice of wording. He should've anticipated that Naruto might be homeless. He sighed, feeling like a bit of a dick now.

"My name's Sasuke."

Naruto gave a toothy grin.

"Well nice to meet ya, Sasuke!"

Yet again, reached out his hand, which Sasuke grabbed limply, for a shake. He stared back dully at Naruto as he flung their hands up and down for far longer than was socially appropriate. Sasuke jerked his hand away.

"So, can I stay while you guys clean up? I'm really booored."

"N-"

But Sasuke was interrupted by the same woman who tried to convert him earlier.

"Of course you can, dear! The more the merrier!"

The woman had to open her trap, yet again...

"Wow, thanks, ma'am!"

Naruto leaned on one foot, resting his head in his hand.

"Hmmm..."

Naruto took a few second to ponder, and then he made his way around the dining room to gather plates. He returned to hand Sasuke a stack of them, which Sasuke took to the deep sink which was stationed against the wall. Naruto's excess enthusiasm was quickly getting on his nerves. Sasuke faced the wall as he cleaned the dishes, steam working its way up from the sink. Naruto leaned against the railing, staring at Sasuke's backside as he worked.

"So Sasuke, what made ya wanna work in a soup kitchen?"

"The California legal system," Sasuke said without moving his eyes.

Again, he made no pretense of wanting to be there. Naruto paused, failing to catch Sasuke's implication.

"Huh?" he asked, dramatically tilting his head and raising a brow.

"It's court-ordered. It was here or juvie."

Naruto scrunched his nose in the same motion he had made seconds ago.

"Oooh. What'd ya do? Are you a thief? A drug dealer? A hardened criminal with a surprisingly soft interior and a heart of gold?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, finally turning to face Naruto when he gave his response.

"All I did was break someone's nose."

"I broke my nose once! See, look… If you stare really hard, you can see it's a little crooked to the left."

Sasuke grunted as Naruto leaned towards him, pointing to his nose. Naruto's face lit up, apparently enthralled by the coincidence. God, this kid was both odd as all hell and absolutely starved for social interaction. Sasuke tried to ignore him, hoping that the boy would become discouraged and finally leave. However, his eagerness didn't waver for a second. He simply went back to gathering the dishes, handing them to Sasuke until they were finished.

After finishing the dishes, Sasuke wrapped around to wipe down the tables.

"Cleaning the tables?" Naruto asked preemptively.

Sasuke, who was clearly running a dishrag over a table top, gave Naruto a look.

In response, Naruto grabbed another rag and made it over to the table next to Sasuke, smiling at both Sasuke and another one of his coworkers. Sasuke and Naruto worked next to each other, silently now. It wasn't as though Naruto hadn't tried to start a conversation. Sasuke just seemed ingenious at ending them.

Despite Naruto's loquaciousness, Sasuke couldn't say he minded. It just meant he'd get to leave earlier. It wasn't long before they'd finished cleaning up. Sasuke walked out the door, Naruto following him closely. The shorter male practically begged for eye contact as Sasuke willfully looked in the opposite direction. Itachi's red Nissan waited for Sasuke by the curb.

"This is my ride."

Naruto frowned, dramatically gesturing his hands out towards Sasuke.

"Welp, I guess this is goodbye. Sasuke, I will always remember you fondly. Farewell, dear friend."

"Bye," Sasuke answered flatly, walking forward, sitting down, and closing the door behind him.

A knowing smile rested on his brother's lips, and dark circles rested under his eyes. Sasuke figured that he'd have looked like that too if he had to work thirty hours a week while attending law school.

"So, you made a new friend today?"

Itachi seemed pleased, and his smile reminded Sasuke just a little bit of the smile the other workers at the church would give him, the gentle push. It made him want to resist, if only out of principle.

"That guy? He's not a friend. He just won't stop following me."

Itachi shifted the car into drive, chuckling softly.

"It's interesting to see you talk to pretty much anyone new."

Sasuke scoffed, looking out of the passenger window.

"As if I had a choice in the matter…"

And it was the truth. Itachi shook his head with that same chuckle, just quieter now.

"Whatever you say, Sasuke."


	2. Chapter 2

"Soup's on!"

He wasn't any more enthusiastic to be in that smelly kitchen this week than he was the last. The same routine, different day. And as per usual, Naruto had announced the beginning of Sasuke's sentence with his typically obnoxious salutation. At best, there would sometimes be the slightest change in his inflection. Sasuke's body had committed his movements to muscle memory, acting effortlessly as he ladled soup into the bowl of diner after diner.

"Ya miss me?"

Sasuke plunked soup into his bowl, looking up at Naruto reluctantly.

"Not particularly."

Naruto smirked, as if he thought Sasuke were only joking.

"Honesty is a virtue, Sasuke," he teased in a singsong voice.

"Who's lying?"

Naruto scoffed with a smile on his lips, again grabbing his soup and waiting for the other diners to clear out. Again, the same kids screamed and laughed down the aisles, the same seniors gummed at their meals, and the same adults yammered on into the evening. Clockwork. And again, during clean up, that familiar nitwit approached Sasuke.

"You're not staying again, are you?" Sasuke asked impatiently, leaning on one foot and crossing his arms.

He wouldn't bother with pleasantries. He didn't want this guy sticking around, and he wasn't afraid to let him know.

"Not like I have anything else to do with my time," Naruto shrugged.

Sasuke was used to being pursued. He knew that playing nice only gave people false hope, and it made them that much more difficult to shake later on. So he wasn't afraid to be brutally honest. It made life a lot easier for him.

"You're getting annoying," Sasuke responded with a slight growl. "If you're going to stay, at least stop running your mouth."

Naruto stared towards his feet, the hurt on his face all too obvious. Given how persistent Naruto had been, Sasuke was a little surprised that the comment daunted Naruto so much. He'd expected Naruto to issue some poorly executed joke in response and felt a little uncomfortable at his change in demeanor. However, Sasuke hid it well. The man next to Sasuke, serving the main entree, gave Sasuke a dirty look, and Sasuke looked him directly in the eyes, challenging him to confront.

"Don't be rude, Sasuke. Naruto, we'd love your company."

Naruto shook his head through a forced smile, his feet dragging his reluctant body away. It looked like it just about killed him to leave.

"No, it's alright. I'll go."

Sasuke's coworker cast him another glare, but Sasuke looked away this time. Wasn't this the definition of reverse psychology? He didn't want to admit that the all too insistent feeling he was experiencing was guilt. It wasn't like him to pity others. Then again, he didn't think that was what he was doing at the moment. He honestly had yet to figure it out.

"Don't sulk," Sasuke called out, unsure as to why he was even doing this. "I went home five minutes earlier last week because of you, so your company isn't altogether horrible."

This was the best he could do, in terms of compliments. It was a crummy one at that, which made it seem like Sasuke was just using Naruto to get off work early. Regardless, Naruto whipped around, his face bright. His entire demeanor changed in a split second.

"Really?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, not really minding his intense exuberance this time.

"Don't get a big head about it. That was a 'thanks for helping', not a marriage proposal."

The smile broadened as Naruto raced to the water bucket and ripped a rag away, wiping at the table closest to the front sloppily as water dripped onto the floor.

"I bet I can save you ten minutes this time!"

A few of Sasuke's coworkers glanced over at Naruto, who was quite obviously only making a bigger mess. Water was splattered about the floor. Why wasn't he just telling this kid to leave again? Right, the guilt trip. And here he thought that he was immune to those...

"Slow down, moron. You're just making it worse."

Naruto scratched the back of his head as he smiled sheepishly, only now noticing the growing puddle of water on the ground.

"Ah… Right. Sorry."

Sasuke huffed, grabbing a roll of new paper towels from behind the bar. He held them up.

"Oi," he called out, catching Naruto's attention. "Catch."

Naruto stood, both arms out. Sasuke threw the roll in a neat arch. Naruto stepped forward, his face in concentration as if he were trying to intercept a pass. The roll quickly made its way past his arms, which clasped futilely. It bounced off his chest, and Naruto quickly bent over to grasp it. Undaunted, he held the roll up victoriously.

"Tada!"

Sasuke stared, deadpan, for a moment, and then snickered.

"Klutz."

"I caught that baby's mother!"

"What?"

"That son of a gun! That hot poh-tay-to!"

Sasuke squinted his eyes for a moment, ready to contradict Naruto but ultimately deciding not to bother.

"Right."

"I got _gaaame_."

"Tch," Sasuke replied, rolling his eyes again.

Sasuke's new "helper" cleaned up the aftermath of his first attempt in several seconds, then moving onward to clean the table once again. He slowed his movements, brows scrunched as he cleaned as meticulously as he could. Sasuke couldn't help but find that somewhat endearing, despite himself.

"So, Sasuke… Are you in high school?"

"Yeah, I'm a sophomore."

"I would be too, if I went to school."

Sasuke perked a brow, redirecting his gaze from his work to look back at Naruto.

"They don't make you?"

Naruto grinned mischievously.

"Nope. I slipped through the cracks."

He had an urge to call Naruto lucky but quickly rethought it. As much as he loathed school (and his classmates), he was grateful for the opportunities it afforded him. He wondered what awaited Naruto, without so much as a high school education or hardly a penny to his name. So he merely grunted in reply, not knowing how to respond.

"But I gotta say, high school looks pretty interesting. Other than that part about dissecting frogs and climbing up ropes and dinging a bell. Who knows what that frog might've become? He could've even had a family, and I really like frogs."

A pout was on Naruto's face now. Sasuke sighed, scrubbing at a particularly stubborn chunk of tomato sauce.

"High school isn't all it's cracked up to be."

"You don't like it?"

"I don't like the people there, and a lot of the stuff we learn is totally pointless."

At Naruto's disappointment, Sasuke sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

"But I guess there are good parts too."

Naruto looked at Sasuke expectantly, like a child waiting for their parent to tell them a bedtime story.

"Like what?"

Sasuke paused a while to think.

"My chemistry and anatomy classes are okay I suppose. I want to be a doctor someday."

Naruto raised his brows, whistling.

"Impressive. You're one of the smart kids, aren't you? Even though you break people's noses, you seem like you'd be one of the smart ones."

Sasuke snickered, amused by the statement.

"Naturally. I learn quickly."

Naruto swatted his hand.

"That's the last time I compliment you! So conceited."

"So they tell me."

They had finished their work quickly. Sasuke was excused, waving at his supervisor before leaving the building. His supervisor smiled back, noticing that the gesture, as simple as it was, was considerably warmer than their prior interactions. As Sasuke left, Naruto walked backwards in front of him with his hands in his pockets.

"So did I make it? Ten minutes early?"

Sasuke flicked his cell phone out of his jeans pocket, glancing at the time.

"Yes, actually."

Sasuke sat down by the bench by the pickup area, since Itachi hadn't arrived yet. This wasn't surprising considering that he'd finished early. Naruto took a seat next to him, and Sasuke did not move away.

They conversed for the next hour, though perhaps this was more a soliloquy than a dialogue. However, Sasuke wasn't altogether unpleasant, at least acknowledging Naruto's questions with a response. Besides, Sasuke didn't have much to do either. They never spoke of anything horribly important, but the subject matter occupied Sasuke as his mind threatened to wander into less palatable territories. As the minutes built, Sasuke's responses grew shorter. He checked his cell phone every minute or so, staring at the time compulsively.

"Don't be so impatient. Am I that horrible to talk to, or are you just missing the season finale of Desperate Housewives?" Naruto asked with a grin, leaning to the side to bump Sasuke's upper arm.

"Hilarious."

He looked down at his phone again. Itachi was forty minutes late. Where was he? His brother was ordinarily so timely. He gave a hard swallow, his throat feeling a little tight.

"Seriously, stop that. There's no rush, is there?"

"It's not that…" Sasuke trailed off.

Sasuke rested his forearms on his thighs, staring at the ground between his legs. He felt the urge to grab at his chest but abstained. Not in front of Naruto.

"Then what's got your feathers all ruffled, duckbutt?"

Sasuke glared at Naruto, though it lacked any real venom. He wished the kid would stop his nagging, but then again... Maybe his fears would lose some of their power once spoken.

"What if…something happened to him?"

Sasuke turned away, not wanting to see the expression on Naruto's face and not wanting Naruto to see the expression on his face. He immediately regretted saying this, and the words sounded stupid leaving his lips.

"Who, your brother?"

Sasuke nodded.

"He probably just got stuck in traffic or something."

Sasuke had heard that one before.

"It's been forty minutes, and he hasn't called."

"So? Stuff happens."

The Uchiha suspected that he was overreacting, perhaps fretting aimlessly. Anyone else in his situation would have perhaps been plagued by a vague worry, but would their heart be quickening like this? Would their forehead feel sweaty? Despite realizing this, he could not derail his thoughts.

"Yes, that's my point," he answered firmly.

Sasuke picked up his cell phone, dialing Itachi's number. It went straight to voicemail. Sasuke roughly ended the call and shoved the phone in his pocket. Naruto sighed.

"Dude, you're being paranoid. People are late all the time."

Naruto was trying valiantly to reassure Sasuke, his tone light and calm.

"Yes, and accidents happen all the time. People get hurt all the time."

Sasuke's voice was quickly becoming agitated. Why was his mind doing this to him? Why was it making him remember? The situation had not been much different from this one. He also waited that night, oblivious and unsuspecting. But he didn't want to get upset here. Not in front of this guy he'd only recently met.

"You're seriously bothered by this, aren't you?"

Naruto stared at Sasuke, who did his best to pretend that Naruto wasn't there.

"That's kind of weird."

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

" _You're_ calling _me_ weird?"

Naruto beamed.

"I sure am."

There was a pause between them.

"It must be nice… Having someone to pick you up."

Sasuke glanced over at Naruto, who had a weak smile on his face. Sasuke had been caught up in his own head, and only now did he stop to consider Naruto's situation. At least he still had someone. Apparently, Naruto had no one. Sasuke had experienced enough to at least vaguely realize how much that must suck. Where would he go after Sasuke left?

"I suppose it is."

There was another silence between them, when Naruto chimed in with his typically cheerfully tone.

"Come on, worrying won't get him here any faster. Just focus on my amazing conversational skills."

Naruto waggled his brows, playfully jabbing Sasuke in the arm.

"Well, thanks for the serenade."

Despite the tone of his voice, he was only being partially sarcastic. Sasuke tried to focus on what Naruto was saying, even though the other came off awkward and clueless. He wanted it to distract him, and he was beginning to feel better. Something about how authentic the guy was, how youthfully innocent despite his situation… It reassured Sasuke. How could Naruto find it in himself to smile like that? Finally, Itachi's car pulled up. A relieved smile unconsciously presented itself on Sasuke's face.

"Hate to say I tooold you so."

It was alright. Itachi was okay after all.

"Shut up, jackass."

Sasuke quickly walked towards Itachi's car.

"See ya next week," Naruto called out with a wave.

"Yeah, next week."

Sasuke swung himself onto the passenger seat and shut the door.

"Where were you?"

Itachi shook his head.

"Sasuke, I'm so sorry. My professor kept me late."

"You could've at least called me. Something could've happened to you!"

Sasuke wasn't angry with Itachi. He knew the man was trying his best, but he had to get out that horrible tight feeling he'd had in his chest. Itachi's brows furrowed.

"My cell phone battery died. It's okay, Sasuke," he reassured, finding a moment to smile at Sasuke. "I'm fine."

Sasuke sulked, staring out the window.

"I'm sorry…" Itachi offered.

The younger Uchiha sighed and massaged his temple, knowing that he was being unreasonable.

"It's not your fault. I just worry," Sasuke answered, feeling a little flustered. "You know, considering..." 

The sound of wheels on an untended road filled the car.

"I know. Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone's enjoying so far! I love, love comments; they encourage me to continue and tell me what I can work on. So don't be afraid. :)


	3. Chapter 3

Sasuke went about his weekdays in his normal practice. It was routine, dull. He was attending school for the first time in two weeks. His suspension had just ended this Monday, which he was rather regretful of. Though his first day back in history class was curious, at least. It seemed that his history teacher was afraid of him. He was a chubby man in his late thirties, with a hooked nose and thin wisps of hair that would stand up on end. On Monday, Sasuke noticed his teacher's eyes stray over to him. Sasuke looked directly back, maintaining full eye contact, and his teacher's gaze diverted in a heartbeat. He continued the lesson rather clumsily avoiding anywhere near Sasuke's general direction. This hadn't been Sasuke's intention, but it humored him nonetheless. What a coward.

Sasuke did successfully avoid goading Sai about his swollen nose. The asshole had it coming to him, and Sasuke wasn't the only one to believe that. Given the result of his last conversation with Sai, Sasuke figured that he was better off avoiding him lest the kid have anything else smart to say. After what his brother had done for him, how could he make the same mistake twice? Sasuke had a strong urge to destroy that he could neither understand nor control. Something about winning these fights, the victories and racing adrenaline, made him come to life. It was catharsis, and he felt powerful and in control. If Sai triggered him, Sasuke acknowledged that it may possibly send him straight to juvie.

Classmates would whisper as he roamed through the halls, some staring discreetly (and others not so discreetly). They'd constantly gossip, and Sasuke wondered how inconsequential and dull their existences had to be for them to rely on such means of entertainment. He wondered, more out of curiosity than anything, how long this would last. He had no problem ignoring them.

This particular afternoon, a Tuesday, he sat at his school's lunch table with a small group of his friends. The loud cafeteria, filled with long, rectangular tables that fit up to eight, smelled strongly of pizza. Kabuto, a senior who had only been held back about three years, sat at the end of their table. Sasuke occupied the other end. Suigetsu sat at Sasuke's immediate left, with Karin's arm tangled around Suigetsu's left side. Suigetsu's bleach blond hair offered a harsh juxtaposition against Karin's brilliant shade of red, her brown eyes framed by some thickly rimmed black glasses. Juugo, the school's linebacker, sat to Sasuke's right, filling up two spaces of the table length. He had obviously gone through puberty very early, with bulky muscles and a height far above any of their classmates. His bright red hair matched the pinkish tint of his face, and he had the slightest sunburn today from football practice. Sasuke wondered how he even tolerated sitting in those small chairs.

"And I seriously fucked the guy up… Like he was cryin' and shit, but I was like, 'Hey, if you touch my girl, I will fucking break your jaw, got that?'"

At which point Suigetsu did his best reenactment, pointing at the rest of the table threateningly. Sasuke took a bite of his apple, paying Suigetsu's boasting no mind.

"And he called Karin a slut! Which she is, but still."

Karin punched Suigetsu's bicep, shooting back, "I'm not a slut! I'm _liberated_."

Suigetsu disregarded the girl, pushing her arm out of the way.

"Shut up, slut!"

At least Juugo might have commented if this had been anyone other than Karin in question. Honestly, Karin was one hell of a lot more intimidating that Suigetsu. Karin's hand thudded upside Suigetsu's head. Deciding she wasn't yet satiated, she repeated the motion. Suigetsu covered his head and leaned away.

"Sasuke, make her stop. She'll listen to you."

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Apparently you made that gangbanger cry. Fending for yourself now should be no problem."

Suigetsu raised his brows, regarding Sasuke dryly.

"What, you want me to hit her or something?"

Karin looked at Suigetsu challengingly, daring him to try.

"Hit Karin, and you'll be the one crying," Juugo spoke up gruffly.

Suigetsu swatted at Juugo dismissively.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch. I'm not hittin' my woman."

Kabuto, who had been disengaged throughout this entire exchange, interrupted.

"Will you all kindly shut the hell up? I have business to talk about."

Kabuto leaned forward slightly, lowering his voice and looking at the rest of the group.

"So, Sasori jacked his parents' meds. We got full bottles of Xanax, Valium, Dilaudid, and Vicodin, just to name a few. He's looking to make some cash, but he needs some distributors. He said he'd give us half the profit."

Suigetsu tilted his head, "How the hell did they get a Dilaudid prescription? They have surgery or something?"

It was a particular strong painkiller, roughly nine times stronger than morphine.

"Who the fuck cares?" Kabuto replied with a bored tone. "We have it."

Suigetsu sighed, smiling now.

"I could use some spare change."

"So," Kabuto began again, eyeing the other four students, "Are we all in?"

It's not as if this were a rare occurrence for Sasuke's group of friends. Sasuke wasn't quite sure when they'd started dealing, but he'd always turned a blind eye. They were practically adults, so it was their decision to make. However, he wanted no part in it.

Sasuke interjected, "I'm out. I'm on thin ice anyway."

Kabuto chuckled, as if he were talking to a toddler who had just said something cute.

"Stop being such a tool."

"You think I give a fuck about your opinion?"

Kabuto stared at Sasuke critically, their eyes locking. Sasuke stared back, and neither blinked. It annoyed Sasuke that Kabuto would even try to pressure him into something like that. He did not like being manipulated. Kabuto then leaned back with a twisted smile on his lips.

"Alright. Your loss, Uchiha."

"Aw, come on Sasuke!" Karin petitioned. "Let's do it together! Besides, half of this stuff revolves around connections. You've got quite the control over the girls here, if you know what I mean."

Karin gazed over at Sasuke flirtatiously, much to Suigetsu's disapproval.

"You heard my answer," Sasuke answered, paying Karin's supplication no mind.

Juugo grumbled, "Give it a rest. He said he doesn't want to do it."

Karin huffed.

"Well fine."

The bell rang as Sasuke attempted to remind himself why he put up with these people. It was nice to have at least someone around, even if they were poor influences. And they'd had good times, he reasoned. It was just days like these when he wondered why he even bothered having friends to begin with.

For the most part, the rest of the week was as monotonous as ever. He crammed for a few tests, which he thought he did pretty well on. The one departure from routine was Wednesday night, when his brother took him out to Applebee's.

It was rare that Itachi had much time to spend with Sasuke. Whenever Itachi did have spare time, Sasuke restrained himself from approaching his brother too often so as not to become a pest. Thus, the outing had been the highlight of Sasuke's entire week. Itachi ordered a beer and cheeseburger, while Sasuke ordered a club sandwich. Itachi let Sasuke try his drink, which was a heady, top brass pilsner. And for perhaps the first time in weeks, Sasuke gave a balls out, deeply resonating laugh.

However, that night, he stayed up until sunlight studying for his third midterm this week. He had no regrets. He knew that if he'd told Itachi that he had so much to do, Itachi would have never agreed to the outing. Thus, when he arrived at the soup kitchen on Thursday night, he had a conspicuously hoarse voice and shadows under his eyes.

This time, Sasuke was serving the main entree: a pasta dish with garlic bread. As expected, Naruto approached him again for his meal.

"Hi, Sasuke," Naruto beamed without thinking. He paused, crinkling his nose as he gave Sasuke a good look. "Wow, you look like shit."

"Nice to see you too," Sasuke's voice cracked as he eyed Naruto sarcastically.

"Are you getting sick?"

He handed another diner his meal as Naruto stepped out of the way.

"No. And don't say that, or you'll scare the diners."

Naruto shook his head.

"Dude, I don't think they care. It's free eats."

Sasuke forked a meal over to the next denizen. Naruto left Sasuke to his job, promising to approach him after the rush had died down. At that point, he sauntered up to Sasuke, the same spacey smile on his lips as usual.

"So, what sort of week did you have?" he asked, leaning against the rail.

"Dull. Midterms."

Sasuke handed out a roll to one of the final lingering diners.

"Ah..."

Naruto glanced at Sasuke expectantly, and Sasuke cast him a questioning look.

"Aren't you gonna ask me how my week was?"

Sasuke reluctantly engaged the boy with a roll of the eyes.

"If you insist. How was your week?"

Naruto grinned back at him, taking a roll from Sasuke and handing it to a toddler who had decided to camp out by Naruto's feet.

"Dull, but they're almost always dull. A nice old lady did give me a ten dollar bill the other day. Her name was Martha. I'm not sure what day it was. I tend to forget stuff like that."

Sasuke coughed, wondering why Naruto would have wanted to be asked a question he had such a boring response to.

"Props."

Naruto grinned.

"Yup! It fed me all week."

"Hm."

He thought, momentarily, about what it would be like to only have ten dollars for a week's supply of food. No wonder Naruto was so thin. What was it like out there, anyway? No shelter from the elements, no safety, no healthcare, no food... He wondered how someone as clueless as Naruto could even survive, but clearly he'd managed for some time now.

The kitchen closed, and all of the diners left with the exception of Naruto. The blond walked behind the counter, washing his hands without prompting and quietly working on some of the dishes, sharing the deep metal sink with Sasuke. Another volunteer had almost finished cleaning off the tables.

"Naruto..."

Sasuke watched the soap bubbles percolate upwards as he rubbed the bottom of a bowl. He didn't know why he was bothering to say what he was going to say.

"Yeah?"

He stared down at his task, pretending to be busier with it than he truly was.

"Why don't you just...turn yourself in? You're under eighteen, so the state's legally required to house you."

Sasuke cleared his throat, wondering if he was getting sick after all. Naruto shook his head.

"And end up in foster care again? Nuh uh. Been there, done that."

Sasuke wondered what history was behind that remark but figured that it was none of his business. He perked a brow at Naruto, his tone skeptical and distanced.

"I have trouble believing that foster care could be any worse than this."

Naruto frowned.

"That's because you've never been in foster care."

Sasuke refused to believe this. He'd known several people who had been in foster care, and while it wasn't exactly sunshine and roses, it seemed one hell of a lot better and safer than a sidewalk. In fact, Sasuke had barely avoided it himself. But if Naruto insisted on putting himself through this, that was his own prerogative. Why did he even care?

"Whatever," he answered with a little aggravation.

Naruto looked like he was ready to argue with Sasuke, visibly frustrated. However, he refrained himself. There was a tense silence as the two boys scrubbed the rest of the pots and pans. Sasuke didn't mind this, but Naruto was disturbed by it. His agitation with Sasuke died off quickly. The boy frequently opened his mouth to speak, but for once, he didn't know what to say.

"Sooo..." he drawled out, then paused. It seemed like he hadn't yet figured out what he was going to say. "How long are you gonna work in the kitchen?"

"If I keep getting trash duty, I have about eight weeks left, give or take."

Naruto looked discouraged.

"I won't see you after that, will I?"

Sasuke snickered, cocking his head towards Naruto teasingly.

"Why? Got a crush on me?"

Naruto laughed.

"As if. You really are arrogant."

"Thought we'd established that."

"Feh," Naruto answered with a warm grin.

There were a few seconds of silence, after which Naruto glanced at Sasuke.

"But you didn't answer my question."

Naruto scrubbed his sponge over a greasy pan, stopping his movements temporarily to study Sasuke, who didn't falter.

"Probably not," he shrugged.

Naruto seemed to all but sink into himself. Sasuke almost felt guilty about it, but then again, what was he supposed to do? Lie? They were a part of different worlds. There was no reason their paths would cross again.

"I guess I can't blame you," Naruto trailed. "You know... Considering."

Sasuke knit his brows, fully catching Naruto's implication. He wanted to say that it wasn't that, but to an extent, it was. He had his doubts about hanging out with anyone new, let alone a homeless guy he met just a few weeks ago in a soup kitchen. Naruto was, after all, a bum. He passed them on his way to the bus stop almost every day, turning a blind eye as they requested some change or started mumbling disjointed nonsense. Still, Naruto wasn't like that. He was just Naruto.

"I'm not...ruling it out completely."

Sasuke was unsure of why he chose to say that, but guessing at his motivations made him feel uneasy.

"Really?"

Naruto's attitude rebounded quickly, causing Sasuke to wonder if he was only leading Naruto on.

"I didn't say it would happen," he clarified, trying to manage any false hopes blossoming in the kid's head.

"But there's a chance?" Naruto asked with a bright smile.

"I guess? We haven't exactly known each other that long."

It was a fair comment. They knew almost nothing about each other.

"Right, right."

Naruto was smiling awkwardly. At that moment, he seemed very lonely to Sasuke. Sasuke's ringtone sounded - the intro to Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir." He quickly answered.

"Hey Itachi... Alright, I'll be out... No, I don't mind McDonald's. ...Let's have this conversation in the car. Right, see you."

"Was that your brother?" Naruto asked curiously, seeming interested by this quick glimpse into Sasuke's life. Sasuke wondered why he cared.

"Yeah," Sasuke answered, his tone distracted as he gathered his possessions.

"Does he always pick you up?"

"I have to go, Naruto."

He turned away, walking briskly towards the doors. Naruto called out after him.

"Okay. Well, see you next week then. Try not to miss me too much."

"That's my line," Sasuke answered without looking back.

"Bye, dickass."

Sasuke smirked at the rather cumbersome insult and walked out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

“So, how’s it going?”

The air was punctuated by the slightest aroma of vanilla and sandalwood, a thick ivory candle on the wicker table. A petite antique lamp on the centerpiece lit the room. A pale woman with short brown hair and high heels sat across from him. Sasuke reclined against the sofa back. This whole set up was cheesy as all hell.

The woman, Shizune, smiled at him. Shizune insisted that Sasuke call her by her first name.

“It goes,” Sasuke answered disinterestedly.

Shizune nodded, allowing several seconds of silence to lapse between them. Sasuke laid back against the couch chair, taking his cell phone out of his pocket and looking through his text messages. Shizune waited a moment before interrupting.

“Sasuke, please put that away.”

Sasuke shrugged.

“Why?”

“Look, I know this must be a hard time for you…”

_I know this must be a hard time for you._

It made Sasuke want to vomit. Who the hell talks like that?

 **A)** “Concerned” teachers  
**B)** Social workers  
**C)** His shitty psychiatrist

That’s one hell of a rhetorical question.

This woman was paid to “empathize” with him, which seemed to entail cooing over the poor, pathetic sap he apparently was, shoving some pills at him, and sending him on his way. He _hated_ it.

Shizune continued, “But you have to help yourself here. I can’t just talk at you and expect it to fix anything.”

“Agreed,” Sasuke smirked, not taking his eyes off his phone. “I’d love nothing more than to ‘help myself,’ so why don’t you stop breathing down my neck every other week?”

Sasuke heard Shizune fidget in the chair, across the room.

“Sasuke, put the phone down,” she said, serious now.

Sasuke glanced at her, raised his eyebrows as if to ask “Or what?”, and returned his attention to his phone. There was a lengthy silence.

“Sasuke…” she said again, lowering her voice. “I get it.”

“Oh?” Sasuke asked, looking at her again now. He was curious.

“I understand why you’re skeptical about being here.”

“As astute as ever, I see.”

Undeterred, Shizune continued, “Look, all medications affect people differently. You don’t always know how someone’s going to react.”

Sasuke had this speech memorized. He was unimpressed.

“Can we put out this damned candle and turn on the lights? All this room would need is some mood music, and it’d reek of pedophilia.”

Shizune seemed unaffected. It was rare that Sasuke got her to fluster, but it didn’t keep him from getting perverse satisfaction out of his successes.

“Go ahead.”

Sasuke swung up and turned on the lights, then pinched the candle flame out with his thumb and pointer finger. He sat back down.

“The dose that your first doctor put you on…” Shizune trailed off, seeming hesitant. “That was not a starter dose.”

Sasuke sighed, begrudgingly giving her some of his attention.

“Your doctor put you on two medications, one of which was a very old and high risk medication. It had heavy side effects and should have been a last resort. To make matters worse, he gave you way too much.”

“Where are you going with this, Shizune?”

“Sasuke, this guy had no idea what the hell he was doing.”

Looking back at her quietly, Sasuke’s mouth carried a slight frown. Sasuke’s first doctor had been assigned to him by the state last year in quite a rush. Sasuke didn’t even want to remember what his first medication trial looked like.

“You of all people _know_ how the system works.”

Sasuke’s eyes averted downward, and he gave a slight nod.

“Don’t let one…dumbass ruin your entire outlook towards therapy.”

“And you’re different?” Sasuke asked, studying her body language out of curiosity, again wondering if she’d fluster.

“I think that comparison sets the bar a little low,” Shizune answered with a modest smile.

Rubbing his temple, Sasuke looked like he was being roused from a nap to have this conversation.

“I still don’t get what I’m supposed to accomplish here. Sitting around talking doesn’t get shit done.”

“You’ve been doing so much better since we put you on the Zoloft…”

Convincing Sasuke to try yet another antidepressant had been quite the ordeal. Yet he had to admit that life had become somewhat more comfortable within the past several months.

“Haven’t you noticed a difference?” she asked.

Sasuke nodded silently.

“You’ve been doing well.”

“My legal record begs to differ,” Sasuke muttered.

“Look, Sasuke…” Shizune paused. “Your brother told me that he noticed that you had too many pills left for the month. He looked after you got in that fight.”

Sasuke silently swore to himself. Dammit, Itachi…

“If you’re not taking your medication regularly, it will throw your serotonin levels all over the place. It can cause irritability and poor impulse control, and that can lead to…outbursts like the one you had earlier this month.”

Little did she know how many fights Sasuke had gotten away with prior to being caught. Like hell would he tell her, either. Just a couple months ago, he’d landed himself with a few new scars, but he’d let her blame it all on a medication error if she so insisted. The less concerned Shizune was, the longer Sasuke could go without returning to her office.

“So you’re saying that I need to take pills so I can tolerate peoples’ bullshit?” Sasuke interrupted.

“How did you handle peoples’ bullshit before?” Shizune asked, once again unfazed.

“Before what?” Sasuke challenged.

“You know what I mean. You didn’t get in fights back then.”

Sasuke knew what she was getting at. But this wasn’t about _him_. He was growing up, and part of that was realizing that people truly are just full of shit. Yes, he’d admit that there were a few exceptions, but they were hard to come by.

“So you’re sedating me.”

“We’re not sedating you, Sasuke,” she smiled. “We’re fixing the chemicals in your brain. That’s all.”

He supposed he could believe that. His anger was justified, but he knew that he was sick now. There was no avoiding that fact.

“How much longer do I have to take these things for?” Sasuke grunted.

“I can’t guarantee anything. But I will tell you that there’s a good chance you won’t need these for much longer. How long, I can’t say.”

Sasuke didn’t look appeased by Shizune’s answer. He was counting down the months until he didn’t have to be here anymore.

“Take it every day, for now. You’d be surprised at what can happen when people forget their meds.”

They’re crazy pills, after all. He wasn’t crazy, though. Well, maybe just a little bit.

“Whatever. Fine.”

* * *

It was finally Friday afternoon. After school, he and his friends stuffed themselves inside of Kabuto’s car and drove out to the mall. As per usual, Juugo took the front seat. There was no fitting him in the back. Karin and Suigetsu went the entire car ride without bickering, but Kabuto had made it clear that he had no problem dropping them off at the curb should they grow too annoying.

Sasuke never understood what people saw in malls, at least as a place for socializing. People meandered and clustered like cattle, the music in the stores was horrible, and the merchandise was overpriced. He also harbored a desire to erase the question "Can I help you with anything?" from the English vocabulary.

Karin dragged them all into Hot Topic, though Suigetsu was at least showing some interest in the merchandise. Some screamo band that Sasuke didn't recognize blasted out of the speakers. Kabuto had excused himself to smoke a cigarette outside, and Juugo patiently followed Karin and Suigetsu. Sasuke had no interest in any of the stores, so he didn't mind joining them. Suigetsu nudged him.

"Deidara is throwing a party next Saturday."

Deidara and Kabuto were in the same year, though Deidara was younger by several years. Sasuke would see the two smoking cigarettes after school from time to time, along with a few of Sasuke’s other more distant acquaintances.

"I know. I was invited," he responded bluntly.

"You should come! I'll be there," Karin urged.

Sasuke cocked a brow. Her persistence was unwelcome.

"Was that supposed to convince me?"

Karin tugged Sasuke's sleeve playfully.

"Sasukeee, stop teasing! You don't mean that."

Sasuke cast Karin a glance that would've made her question that statement if she weren't waist-deep in denial.

"C'mon, man. They got booze, bud, and pills. It's gonna be fuckin' wild," Suigetsu added.

Juugo sighed, shaking his head.

"Ignore Suigetsu. You don't have to do any of that. Just don't be such a recluse."

The gruff linebacker rarely talked, and it was even rarer for him to actually request something of someone. Sasuke considered Juugo to be the most tolerable of his friends by far, so the request was actually somewhat persuasive.

It sounded like something that could potentially get him in trouble. But if he just stayed at Deidara's house before leaving and found a safe way home, he'd probably be fine. It had never been a problem for him before.

"Alright, I'll go."

"Hell yeah!" Karin cheered, much too enthusiastically for Sasuke's tastes.

Suigetsu pointed to a new store across the way. It was fringy and a little "alternative," gothic outfits stitched together intricately, fashionable boots, and designer jeans.

"Let's head over to Black Angel."

It actually didn't look half bad, but one look at the price tag of a random jacket made it clear to Sasuke that he wouldn't be buying anything here. Honestly, who paid $150 for a hoodie?

Still, he browsed the selection, finally encountering a silver necklace. The serpent at its bottom laced between the eyes of a skull, and the chain was sturdy silver. This was probably the only merchandise he'd seen all day that he would actually contemplate buying... That is, if it weren't $40. This really was just becoming another boring Friday.

Sasuke glanced to his right, appearing disinterested. He didn't see any salespeople. The only security device on the necklace appeared to be a round silver sticker. No one was paying attention to him, but he knew that he might have been on camera. Even still, he could think of plenty of ways around that. How easy would it be to just take it?

Sasuke had never shoplifted before. It wasn't that he even cared that much about the necklace. He just wondered if he could pull it off. Just this once.

He ripped the sticker off with his thumb and pointer finger, scrunching it up into a tiny ball between them and inconspicuously dropping it on the floor. He knew this was crazy. A stunt like this could land him in juvie. It could even ruin his chances at a decent college. What was he doing?

But it had been just like this the day he had viciously bloodied his classmate in front of his shocked professor and peers. He liked feeling this way. It was electric, exciting, raw... It freed him, if only temporarily, from that grey sludge of apathy that he normally existed in. That moment's reprieve was worth it. His breath shallow and his body energetic, he could now honestly say he was having fun.

As he pretended to hang the necklace up with the rest, he allowed it to slip down his sleeve at the last instant. The motion was obscured with his forearm, hopefully fooling any cameras. He continued to look around at some of the other merchandise so as not to seem suspicious, taking his time. A clerk, a woman who was probably in her 30's, approached him.

"Can I help you?"

Again. Predictable. But Sasuke had to wonder if she knew.

"No thanks. I'm just browsing."

"Well, our jeans are all 25% off, and our jewelry is buy one get one 50% off. Let me know if you have any questions."

She mentioned the jewelry? No, he was just being paranoid.

"Thanks."

The exchange had given Sasuke second thoughts. It was entirely possible that this had been coincidental. He'd had essentially that same conversation a good two or three times today. He had to keep his cool, pausing for a moment to check out a beanie. He couldn't get shifty eyed here. It was time to make a decision. Either put the jewelry away or walk out the door.

He pivoted, approaching the exit. His hands felt cold and damp. He kept his pace steady - neither too fast nor too slow. The security censors were right in front of him. The sticker was the only security device, right? He'd felt the cardboard the necklace had hung by, and it had been glued together by the manufacturer. There was no way they could slip a censor in there, he hoped.

Sasuke’s last minute urge to stop right before the censors and go back made him want to do this even more. It was like holding his hand up to a flame. God, he actually felt like he had a pulse for once. He had to stop thinking about this, killing his thoughts to convey a neutral demeanor. He held his breath for just an instant.

He cleared the door. Silence.

He'd made it.

Suigetsu spotted Sasuke leaving. He quickly walked up to Sasuke, Karin following closely. Juugo trudged behind the two, and Kabuto had finally come back from his smoke break.

"Shit man, everything there is expensive as all hell."

"Ridiculously," Sasuke huffed.

Waiting until they’d passed by three additional stores, Sasuke made a quick move to slide the necklace out of his sleeve and into his back pocket. It didn’t go unnoticed by Suigetsu.

"Dude! Did you...steal that?"

Why did Suigetsu have to be observant at the most inopportune times?

"Shut up," Sasuke snapped.

Suigetsu's voice had been far too loud for such a statement. How someone could have so little discretion was beyond Sasuke.

"How much was it?" Karin asked, interested.

He didn't want to answer these questions. He just wanted to stuff the merchandise in his pocket and be done with it.

"Forty."

Suigetsu laughed.

"See! This is why I like this guy."

Why were his friends drawing so much attention to this? It was as if they viewed it as an accomplishment, and each time he was praised, it unsettled him. It made him no longer feel like the one good kid in a group of miscreants.

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"You like me because I steal necklaces?"

Suigetsu gestured wildly, his eyes large.

"Yeah! You're crazy, man! Like you'd break a guy's nose right in front of our history teacher. Intense as fuck."

"Suigetsu, your obsession with me borders on hero worship. Frankly, I find it disturbing."

"Pft, whatever, ya pompous jerk," Suigetsu attested before elbowing Karin and adding in a whisper, "That's just his way."

"I never knew you shoplifted, Sasuke. To be honest, you seemed like a pussy to me."

It was Kabuto, this time, in that same snide voice.

"You guys weren't even supposed to know,” Sasuke said testily. “Stop talking about it."

He didn't intend on making a habit out of this. And he certainly didn't want to create this sort of reputation for himself. He generally prided himself on being an honest guy. Even though he'd gotten away with it, he was beginning to regret his decision already.

Suigetsu narrowed his eyes at Sasuke.

"Fiiine, Mr. Mysterious."

And the discussion was over.

The rest of the trip was just as Sasuke had predicted it. They went to a few stores, stared at objects Sasuke had no interest in, and were approached by several classmates. Kabuto always seemed to follow Sasuke and Juugo closely, while Suigetsu and Karin spastically zipped from distraction to distraction. Sasuke wished Kabuto would just walk ahead of them. Something about the guy tended to make him uncomfortable.

Finally, Kabuto was occupied by a small scale at a department store. The box broadcasted that it weighed down to the nearest hundredth of a gram, and Sasuke was pretty sure he knew why Kabuto was interested in it. Karin and Suigetsu were fascinated by a food sealer demonstration video. Meanwhile, Juugo shifted over to Sasuke.

"Hey, Sasuke..." he muttered.

Juugo was angled to Sasuke's right, just barely behind him. Sasuke tilted his head backwards as he addressed Juugo.

"Hm?"

Juugo skipped a beat, holding direct eye contact with Sasuke.

"Be careful."

Sasuke's eyes fell to the ground, feeling a little ashamed. He knew Juugo had a point. What was he doing, anyway?

"Yeah..."

Juugo smiled at Sasuke, perhaps as an affirmation that he wasn't scolding him, or that he wasn't disappointed in him. Sasuke cast a shallow smile back.


	5. Chapter 5

Sasuke pierced the twentieth candy wrapper that day with his track pick and flicked it into his black trash bag. This was his first time doing trash duty in the park. The past several weeks, he'd always opted to work at the beach. The scenery was nice, and the ocean offered a pleasant breeze. But apparently there was already a surplus of volunteers for the beach this week, so he was sent to the park by default. At least he shouldn’t run into any condoms this time.

The park was enormous, and the freshly cut grass scented the air and stained his sneakers. There was a large playground with two curving slides, four swings, basketball and tennis courts, a small skate ramp, and a long curving trail that always promised a fairly relaxing walk. It was one of the nicest neighborhood parks Sasuke had seen, which was strange considering that the area wasn’t particularly wealthy. Now, if only they could invest in a few more trash bins. On the bright side, he'd get plenty of hours out of this.

This park was about a twenty minute walk from his house, but he hadn’t been here even once within the past year. The many times he'd come here as a child, he was usually accompanied by his mother. The grounds made him some odd mixture of nostalgic, mournful, and comforted, which Sasuke hadn’t expected. He wasn’t one for sentimentality, so Sasuke tried to ignore the place’s familiarity.

The air was warm and sticky, at least by California standards. It had been wise of him to wear a tank top and shorts. Sasuke rubbed away the sweat on his neck, frustrated that an October day would be so uncomfortable. This was a shitty way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

He blasted his iPod, rock music just barely audible to anyone within a few feet. Now that he'd gotten the basketball and tennis courts out of the way, he approached the dirt trail. It seemed that most people were concentrated by the courts and the playground, leaving the trail relatively peaceful. A small Corgi ran up to Sasuke, excitedly pouncing on his legs. Glancing around him, Sasuke was unable to find an owner.

Sasuke unsuccessfully attempted to sidestep the dog, who ran between Sasuke’s legs and nearly caused him to stumble. Sighing, he moved on, running across a water bottle and attempting to grab it. The dog stood directly on top of it and began to jump straight up in the air, barking. It just kept jumping up and down, like the damned thing thought it was on a trampoline. Sasuke continued down the path for several minutes, shooing the dog away from time to time. Finally giving up, he bent down to scratch the dog behind its ear.

"You're never going to leave me alone, are you?"

The dog stared back at him unwittingly. Sasuke groaned and continued down the trail, the dog closely at his heels. He finally ran across the first of many bathrooms, which had a couple soda cans right next to the wall. Once he reached the cans, he noticed a body curled up against where the concrete wall framed the walkway to the bathroom. He hadn't remembered bums here before, so he curiously glanced over, noticing a vibrant shock of blond hair. The body roused, and he made out a dirty cheek with familiar scars.

It was an odd coincidence that he’d found Naruto here. He wondered if he should alert him of his presence. He didn't mind Naruto being around, but once Naruto was aware of him, there would probably be no shaking him.

However, his new canine friend made his decision for him as it barked loudly. The dog ran over to Naruto's face and licked his cheek. Naruto turned over, groaning and struggling to stay asleep. The dog promptly decided to change his approach, running up on Naruto's back and humping it.

Sasuke stood back, a look of confusion and mild disgust on his face as he stood ambivalently, holding his bag and pick. Naruto quickly flipped over and pushed the dog away.

"UGH! Not again!" Naruto shouted.

Sasuke blinked.

"Um..."

Sasuke knew that he couldn’t sneak away at this point, whether he wanted to or not. It took an instant for Naruto to fully orient himself, quickly scanning his surroundings for the source of the familiar voice.

"Sasuke! Wait! What're you doing here?” Naruto called out. He paused for a moment, squinting his brows. “How long were you watching me sleep?"

The Uchiha tugged down on the cord over his chest, pulling out both earbuds. The Sublime song was just loud enough for Naruto to overhear. Naruto raised his head, a cowlick on the left side and a nasty bedhead. He was wearing the same blue jeans he wore the day he met Sasuke with a grass-stained white tank top. This was the first time Sasuke had seen Naruto in anything more revealing than an oversized T-shirt. He frowned as he noticed Naruto’s elbows and shoulders protruding outwards. Naruto narrowed his eyes as he stared at Sasuke suspiciously.

"Are you stalking me?"

Sasuke scoffed, taking a step backwards.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?"

"Sasuke..." Naruto responded flatly. "I live here."

"...Right," Sasuke answered, somewhat awkwardly.

It made sense, really. A bed of grass seemed a lot more comfortable and less depressing than sleeping on concrete under a bridge or something - plus there were bathrooms. He glanced around, noting that Naruto had shoved most of his belongings far beneath a nearby bush. There was a curled up sleeping bag and a large black trash bag full of some rather oddly shaped objects.

"What's that stick for? Gonna spear some koi in the river? Catch us some supper like the rugged nature boy you are?"

Naruto grinned mischievously at Sasuke, who appeared entirely unappreciative of the boy's vivid imagination. He swung the trash bag out from behind his calves.

"I'm on trash duty."

"No way!” Naruto shouted, flailing his arms around. “We just keep on running into each other. Did you always do trash here? Maybe we just missed each other."

Naruto must have been living here for a while. He had no idea how homeless people decided where to live. Did people just stay in the same place? Did they move? How often?

"I've been on the beach, but they sent me to the park today."

"Well, now that you and your friend have woken me up, I think it's your responsibility to entertain me."

Naruto stood up, dusting the grass off of his pants and shirt.

"I expected you to say something like that," he sighed.

Naruto was either being clingy, or Sasuke was being distant. Sasuke decided it was both, but coming from this guy, it was somehow more tolerable.

"Come on, lemme help you out again," Naruto asked with a smile.

Sasuke sighed.

"They just dock how many hours I'm here from my total. It doesn't matter if I finish earlier or later."

Naruto frowned sharply, and if Sasuke didn't know any better, Naruto was trying to pull the whole "sad puppy" routine. Some emaciated kid living beside a public park restroom and wearing barely intact clothing was giving him sad puppy eyes. This was the worst possible combination, and the asshole probably knew it too. Was it even possible to look more pitiful?

"Jesus Christ… Fine, you can come," Sasuke griped. He paused and mumbled, “Idiot.”

His mind games successful, Naruto's enthusiasm was obvious. The hyperactive canine darted over to Naruto, thrilled to find a new companion. He jumped frantically at Naruto's knees.

"So this is your dog? He's so cute! What's his name?"

"It's not my dog. It's just taken an interest in me," Sasuke smirked, "and evidently you too."

Naruto squatted so that he was at the dog's level, looking at its bone-shaped collar, which had only one line of writing.

"It says his name is Clover."

"Okay?"

Sasuke could not be arsed to care, and Naruto shot Sasuke a cross look.

"Rude! I'm sorry, Clover. You'll have to excuse my friend here,” Naruto said as he ruffled Clover’s ears. “He has horrible manners, but he means well. And I'll have you know that I forgive you for your little indiscretion earlier."

The dog smiled back vacantly. Sasuke crossed his arms, hoping that Naruto would finish soon. Naruto balanced his chin on his thumb and second finger, obviously considering something. He grabbed the tip of the dog's ears, fully extending them outwards.

"Da nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh, Batdog!"

Sasuke put his hand up to his face, shaking his head. Naruto's voice was louder than he'd perhaps realized. Several people glanced over at them, a couple of which laughed and turned away.

"Naruto, shut up.”

The dog licked Naruto's nose.

"BATDOG!"

Quite a few more people were staring now. He wondered if they would've looked at them the same way if any other kid did this. Any _normal_ kid, that is.

"Shut up!"

The exasperation in Sasuke's voice caused Naruto to glance up. Sasuke had subconsciously angled away from the onlookers, staring in the opposite direction. Naruto noticed Sasuke's posture, the staring strangers... His gaze fell to his hands.

"You're embarrassed of me, aren't you?"

Sasuke paused, swallowing hard. He felt exposed, like Naruto had seen through him completely.

"Of course I am. You're a moron."

Naruto didn't seem particularly reassured by that, and Sasuke supposed that he couldn't blame him. He followed Sasuke, quietly grabbing trash off the ground and throwing it in Sasuke's bag. A thick layer of grime was accumulating on his rough palms.

"Stop that. You're getting your hands dirty."

"But I have to help you," Naruto mumbled, looking down.

Sasuke sighed, offering his bag to Naruto.

"Here, just hold the bag, and I'll put the trash into it."

Naruto's lips pursed as he eyed Sasuke's trash pick curiously.

"If you could hold the bag… I kind of want to use the stick."

Sasuke arched a brow, glancing over at Naruto.

"Should I really be trusting you with sharp objects?"

Regardless, Sasuke handed it to Naruto. Apparently taking some frustration out, Naruto stabbed at a soda can, which shot away. He now tried to use the stick as a javelin and again encountered failure. The third time, slow and steady, he hit it head on, triumphantly shaking it into Sasuke's bag. After getting that out of his system, Naruto decided to be a bit more conventional.

Sasuke's arm wiped the sweat on his forehead. While Naruto did not seem as dejected as he was a few moments ago, Sasuke could tell that he wasn't over it. Since requesting to use the stick, he hadn't spoken a word. It was then that Sasuke noticed an ice cream cart.

He glanced at Naruto, who probably had yet to eat today. It wasn't that he'd hurt some kid's feelings, so he was considering buying him ice cream now because he felt bad. It was nothing like that. He just didn't like people sulking around him. It was annoying.

"I'm hot. Let's take a break and get some ice cream."

"I'd join you if I had the funds, but..." Naruto trailed off.

Sasuke grunted.

"It's fine. I have some spare change."

Naruto dropped the stick, and Sasuke had yet to see so much of the whites of Naruto's eyes. Perhaps it wasn't just the ice cream (though knowing Naruto, that was probably a large part of it). Maybe it was just the fact that the guy he'd been hounding for weeks on end was finally doing something nice for him, showing some interest. It was a start, if anything.

"You're buying me ice cream in the park?! How romantic!" Naruto sing-songed, placing his hands on his cheeks.

Sasuke swatted at Naruto.

"Don't be so creepy. And only if you wash your filthy hands."

"Fine, _Mom_."

Without another word, Naruto scattered off towards the restrooms, Clover following at his heels and immediately catching on to his enthusiasm. Sasuke strolled in behind them. Naruto frantically splashed his hands in the water, using his elbow to hold the faucet down as he scrubbed his hands with soap. As Sasuke used a machine to blow his hands dry, Naruto waited impatiently. The instant the machine stopped, he tugged a resistant Sasuke by the elbow.

"Christ, slow down,” Sasuke chided, awkwardly walking forward as Naruto led him by the arm. “It's not going anywhere."

"I haven't had ice cream in almost a year. I love that shit!"

Naruto was looking forward, unaware of the fact that Sasuke was staring at him. If Naruto had so much as tilted his head, Sasuke would've looked away. Naruto's teeth were showing fully, his eyes almost closed shut as his smile seemed to engulf his entire face. Sasuke had yet to see him so happy, and he found himself smiling as well.

At Naruto's request, Sasuke ordered him a chocolate dipped ice cream cone, while Sasuke bought himself some lemon Italian ice. Naruto waited for Sasuke at the small bench. It was just big enough to fit the two of them, and Naruto extended his leg to save Sasuke a seat. He joined Naruto, a few inches between them as they enjoyed their treats.

He felt like he recognized this bench, like he remembered Itachi and his mother sitting on it years ago while Sasuke played with his Yoyo. But the benches at this park all looked the same; it was probably his mind playing tricks on him. Clover lay on Naruto's feet. They looked rather odd in contrast to his baggy blue jeans, simple dollar flip flop thongs peeking out.

Sasuke's ice was still hard, presenting somewhat of a challenge as it offered resistance against his cheap plastic spoon. Why they gave him two spoons was beyond Sasuke. He wondered if it had something to do with the shoddy utensils breaking.

Naruto ravenously chomped into his ice cream, chocolate shell crumbling down his chin as he used his tongue to quickly warm up his teeth. He used one of the napkins that Sasuke had brought back to the bench and dabbed his face clean.

"Oh sweeet baby Jesus, this is good. Sasuke, man...” Naruto drew out as he quickly pattered his feet against the ground. “I think I just might be in love with you for leading me into this spiritual experience. You're a fuckin' divine messenger, bright lights of glory and horses and chariots and shit."

Sasuke chiseled at the lemon ice, only now getting his spoon about one third full.

"If I was sent by God, I must really be making a mess of things for him," he said under his breath.

Naruto paused for a second, confused. He shook his head, swinging his legs playfully as Clover switched over to Sasuke's feet.

"You're a good guy, Sasuke. I can tell. Why else do you think I'm always pestering you?"

Sasuke grunted. He seriously had his doubts about that statement. He hadn't exactly been behaving lately. His friends sold and used drugs and were into stealing, vandalism, and random acts of violence. Sasuke seemed to always be getting into fights these days, and he'd shoplifted his first time not even 24 hours ago. He was risking his future and bringing hardship on his brother, who had sacrificed so much for him. Yet he continued to make these poor decisions, even though they raised questions in his mind about the strength of his character. He knew what he _should_ be doing. But doing as he was supposed to all the time was pretty depressing, he found.

Sasuke held his spoon in his mouth as the tart ice dissolved. It was good. It wasn't obnoxiously sweet, but it also wasn't bitter or too sour. He allowed this to distract himself from the din of his thoughts.

"How's your ice, Sasuke?"

Naruto was staring at the small bowl so longingly that he might as well have licked his lips.

"Find out for yourself."

Naruto beamed as Sasuke gave him his spare spoon, genuinely appreciating the gesture. Naruto stabbed at the ice, taking it into his mouth. He looked surprised.

"This is really good! But I still like mine better."

Returning the spoon to Sasuke, he took another lick of his cone.

"Wanna try?" Naruto asked, extending his ice cream cone to Sasuke.

Sasuke leaned towards Naruto but paused for a moment. He wasn't the type to eat after someone, let alone someone like Naruto. But he was quickly coming to think of Naruto in terms of Naruto rather than in terms of "someone like Naruto." Naruto wasn't just some vagrant. He knew Naruto better than that.

Their thighs now touched as Sasuke leaned over Naruto's torso, his head directly in front of his chest. His tongue flattened against the cold vanilla in a long stroke. Naruto could smell Sasuke's shampoo, which was just slightly musky. He hurriedly sent his eyes back upward, ashamed of the thoughts that Sasuke put through his head. But was it really his fault when Sasuke was doing something so implicitly sexual? It wasn't that he had an attraction to Sasuke in particular, but Sasuke was a pretty good-looking guy.

Sasuke licked his lips slowly, which Naruto tried to ignore.

"Not bad, but I like mine better."

Naruto playfully bumped his shoulder against Sasuke's.

"Good, because I would fight you to the death over this ice cream cone."

Leaning back against the bench, Sasuke rested his ankle over his thigh, above his knee.

"I don't think that would end very well for you."

"Not if I used my ninja skills on you."

Sasuke raised a brow.

"Which entail what exactly?"

"Hah! You think I'd tell you that? Can't have you stealin' my mojo, man."

"Whatever that is."

The two shared a comfortable silence, watching the dogs in the large green expanse ahead of them run, catching frisbees, racing each other, sniffing the trees... A few grade school girls chased each other, falling into the grass and laughing. A son ran away from his mother, who had loudly and angrily counted to ten and was now threatening his television privileges.

It was then that Sasuke and Naruto saw a short-haired Dachshund leaping straight into the air and snapping its teeth. Naruto counted a dozen back to back jumps until he commented.

"'M'sorry, but what the hell is that dog doing?"

Sasuke's ice becoming comfortably slushy now, he took a large spoonful.

"No idea. Probably dropped as a puppy."

Naruto laughed, finishing up the last of his ice cream cone.

"Iiiiit's Mongopup!"

The Uchiha shook his head, apparently full of disapproval.

"That’s so offensive. My grandfather was a mongoloid... Well, I guess he was my uncle too."

Naruto paused before he answered, appearing very confused as his mouth hung agape.

"Oh... I'm sorry to hear that. ...I guess."

Sasuke chuckled, his mouth just barely open. He hadn't expected Naruto to actually believe such a bullshit story, but it seemed that he had underestimated the extent of his gullibility. Then again, thanks to his ordinarily serious demeanor, Sasuke had always been excellent at fooling people.

"I'm just fucking with you."

Naruto laughed along with Sasuke.

"You're such a dick, you know that?"

Sasuke's laughter had quelled, but there was still a smile on his face.

"So gullible..."

Naruto turned to Sasuke, grinning at him warmly.

"You know, I like you when you're like this."

"You mean when I'm insulting you?" Sasuke smirked.

"No, smartass. When you're smiling, laughing... You look like you finally got around to taking that gargantuan stick out of your ass."

Sasuke scoffed, leaning his head to his right to stretch out a knot in his neck.

"A stick in my ass? Because I'm not a spazzoid like you?"

The Dachshund's owner threw a tennis ball out for him to fetch. Caught up in its enthusiasm, the dog charged off and stumbled over its stumpy front legs, doing a rather demented somersault. Naruto tsk'd.

"Poor little weiner dog. Its legs are just too short."

Sasuke shrugged.

"This is what you get when humanity disregards natural selection: Dachshunds, hairless cats, and the Kardashians."

Naruto chuckled, and Sasuke finally finished his lemon ice. Naruto's ice cream cone had been long gone.

"I've got to take a piss. Wait up for me."

Clover zipped off after Sasuke stood, careening into the Dachshund. Sasuke didn't take long, but when he returned, a portly cop with a buzzcut and a forest green uniform was talking to Naruto, standing a couple feet in front of him with his spiral notebook out. Naruto was shifting from foot to foot, scratching the back of his head sheepishly with that dopey grin on his face. Sasuke sighed and kneaded at his temple. This didn’t look good.

He walked up several feet behind the cop, standing close enough to overhear their conversation and involve himself if necessary. What the hell did Naruto get himself into now...

"Where's your ice cream then?"

Naruto seemed to be exerting some serious effort to keep attitude out of his voice when he responded, "I finished it."

"Where are your parents right now?"

Naruto's eyes darted dramatically, and his right arm grasped his tank top tightly, fumbling with the fabric.

"They're over there..."

Naruto pointed to a jungle gym that held just one or two grade schoolers.

"I mean they're over there!"

This time he'd pointed to a barren hill. The cop cleared his throat, crossing his arms and shifting to his other foot. Naruto was thoroughly flustered.

"Where do you live?"

Naruto's face looked nothing short of terrified at this point. This was Sasuke’s cue. God, how did Naruto even last this long on his own? He was absolutely clueless. Sasuke approached Naruto from the side, changing his angle so that the cop wouldn't realize he'd been standing behind him all this time.

"I see you've met my brother. Can we help you with anything?"

The policeman cocked his head skeptically, taking in Sasuke's well-kempt appearance and then looking back at Naruto. Fortunately, Naruto’s shock at Sasuke’s entrance had disappeared by the time the cop looked back at him.

"You're tellin' me you two are brothers?"

Perhaps not the most believable alibi. Sasuke snickered.

"Half-brothers. I hope he didn't give you trouble. He flusters around authority figures and isn't too bright. Not from my end of the genepool."

The man seemed to find that amusing, his laughter sounding like a braying donkey.

"You're funny, boy. Alright kids, stay out of trouble."

He licked his lip, pointing at Naruto with a fat index finger.

"And you, get some new clothes, will ya?"

The cop graciously waddled off. Sasuke rolled his eyes. That cop was treating Naruto like he committed some sort of crime. Wasn't life hard enough for someone like Naruto without some asshole cop giving him a hard time?

"God, what a dick," Sasuke fumed.

His eyes widened as he felt an impact from his side, his entire body tensing up. Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke's body, hugging him tightly.

"What… What are you doing?"

Naruto spoke into Sasuke's chest.

"Thank you. I didn't want to leave the park. I like it here."

Sasuke's body relaxed, and his lips upturned. It seemed that it had been a long time since he had done something that he felt good about.

"I couldn't just let you get evicted, could I? Now let go of me."

"Evicted?"

Naruto scrunched his lips up and squinted his left eye, releasing Sasuke.

He snorted, "I guess that's one way to put it, _bro_."

Sasuke let out a grunt, grabbing his pick and bag again.

"Don't start with this."

If anything, that appeared to provoke Naruto, who grinned slyly.

"Look at us!” Naruto called out, beaming and pointing to Sasuke, then to himself, and then to Sasuke again. “We're around the same age. We could be twins."

Sasuke crossed his arms and gave him one of his typical “Can you really be that stupid?” looks.

"Are you blind?"

Naruto shook his head enthusiastically, his cowlick bouncing as he did so.

"No, you couldn't be much older than me! How old are you?"

Sasuke stared at Naruto for a moment, wondering how he could possibly be so unwitting. Their builds and complexions opposed each other, and there was no way the two of them could hail from the same gene pool. He decided to give Naruto a proper response regardless.

"Fifteen."

Naruto threw up his arms.

"Me too! But not for much longer. I turn sixteen on October 10. That's on Tuesday, right?"

"No, it's Wednesday. You doing anything for it?"

Naruto shot Sasuke back the same look Sasuke had given him just seconds ago.

"Sasuke, what would I do?"

The younger of the two clenched his teeth. He'd never given a damn about birthdays. It was just another day. The whole concept was a result of a human convention based on an arbitrary astronomical event. But other people seemed to care about them, and even Sasuke was a little eager for his sixteenth birthday. To spend the day in some random park completely alone, begging for food... That just seemed depressing.

"You could always go somewhere with me."

Sasuke looked off, apparently now finding a random tree worthy of intense analysis. Naruto was silent. When he turned back to Naruto, he was wearing that same wide-toothed grin he wore when Sasuke paid for his ice cream.

"Get that look off your face,” he said with some heat in his voice, placing distance between himself and Naruto. “It's creeping me out."

Naruto closed his mouth, doing his best to keep his smile modest.

"I'm sorry, it's just... It's not often that anyone would go out of their way to see me."

Sasuke paused, his mouth slightly ajar. The statement made him feel a little uncomfortable, but at the same time, it made him glad that he'd offered. It seemed to mean far more to Naruto than he had expected. Sasuke inwardly groaned. The guy was like a puppy. Clover #2.

"Like I said earlier, I suppose you're not altogether intolerable."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed. I love comments, so any are really appreciated.
> 
> And yes, in this fic, Naruto _is_ nine months older than Sasuke. :)


	6. Chapter 6

As his bear-like hands pulled at the steering wheel of his pickup, Juugo flipped the radio over to the neighboring town's classic rock station, enduring the slight static in exchange for some ear candy in the form of "Hair of the Dog." Karin and Suigetsu were shouting and laughing in the back seat, bouncing as Juugo's blue Chevy rolled over a pothole. Karin wore a loose tank top with a short miniskirt, which seemed to go along with Suigetsu's sports jersey and saggy jeans. They were just a bit too hyped about Deidara's party, and they'd ambitiously started drinking their parents' liquor before they'd even arrived.

Sasuke was riding shotgun, his elbow rested on the open window as the brisk night air whipped his arm and cheek. Since his afternoon picking up trash in the park, he'd had just enough time to shower and change into a maroon V-neck with tight navy denim, his recently acquired necklace resting a few inches below his collarbone. A Camel wide drooped between his fingers. He held it up to his lips and took a long drag before flicking the ashes out the window.

He felt the slightest buzz from the nicotine. Sasuke wasn't much of a smoker. First of all, cigarettes were expensive, and second of all, the concept of an iron lung held no appeal for him. But he enjoyed them on nights like these, the heat of the cigarette contrasting with the chill air. When he got the urge, he'd just bum one from Juugo, who had turned eighteen earlier that year.

In this case, he'd need that nicotine buzz, no matter how slight, to cope with Karin and Suigetsu's antics. Juugo and Sasuke sat silently, as they usually did when they drove together. Whenever the backseat occupants said something particularly stupid, Juugo would sigh, look at Sasuke, and shake his head. And Sasuke would snicker and take another drag.

Suigetsu sang along with the radio, loud and off-tune.

"Now you're messin' with..."

Karin glanced over at Suigetsu excitedly as they both shouted, "A SON OF A BITCH!", collapsing into a fit of giggles. They were already drunk.

Sasuke kneaded his temple, turning around and glaring at the two.

"Both of you cool your shit, or I'm changing the song."

Suigetsu pouted, kicking the back of Sasuke's seat.

"You're no fun, bro."

Sasuke turned around, deciding that it wasn't worth it and holding his tongue. Karin and Suigetsu did quiet down a little, which was good enough for him.

Finally, they arrived at Deidara's house, a contemporary two-story on the richer side of town. They heard the rap music pounding before even turning the corner. It was a miracle Deidara hadn’t gotten a noise complaint. Deidara's garage and driveway were congested with cars, so Juugo found street parking farther down the block.

Suigetsu and Karin left the car the instant it had stopped, and Juugo and Sasuke followed closely behind. They didn’t bother to knock; no one could have heard over the music. Suigetsu texted Deidara, who soon after opened the door. The foyer was empty but offered a view into house's main room. One couldn't see more than several feet into it due to the dense mass of bodies inside. Sasuke discreetly sighed at the sight – bodies lumped together, lights obscured by smoke, shouting, and people grinding up against each other to horrible rap music. It was the same scene at every one of these damned things he was dragged to.

"Deidara! Man, what is up?"

Suigetsu and Deidara shook hands and bumped chests as Deidara motioned him and Karin back. Juugo waved at Deidara, who smiled and cocked a nod in return. Sasuke attempted to do the same but was quickly stopped.

"Uchiha! Where the fuck have you been? You ditching school or something."

Deidara was yelling over the music, and Sasuke smelled the alcohol on his breath. Sasuke shook his head, remembering that he hadn't run into Deidara this week.

"Suspended."

Deidara stared at him for a moment in confusion until realization dawned on him.

"Oh, right! Dude, I never liked that Sai guy anyway. Total dick. That was fuckin' tight, man."

Sasuke nodded, obligatorily returning Deidara's high five. Deidara was likely too drunk to notice Sasuke's lack of enthusiasm. It seemed that by the class period after the fight, the entire school miraculously knew what happened. That was high school, he supposed. He was getting sick of all this praise. Of course, it wasn't all praise. The rowdier groups thought Sasuke was intense and bold. The neater crowds thought he was dangerous and a loose cannon.

And Sai's friends thought a few of Sasuke's bones should be broken as well. However, they were too afraid to come near him when he had friends like Juugo and Kabuto. Kabuto was unpredictable and had connections that no one at their school really understood, and Juugo could probably land someone in the hospital with one punch. In all honesty, Sasuke didn’t give half a damn what his classmates chose to think.

And he didn’t feel regretful, other than the grief this had caused his brother. He'd never gotten along well with Sai. He just didn't see what the big deal was, why it had to evolve into some machismo-centric quest for dominance in the eyes of his classmates. He'd just been really fucking pissed; it was that simple.

Deidara closed the door behind them, the house warm from body heat and smelling strongly of marijuana. A group of about ten sat on or around the couch, sharing a very expensive looking bong. The bright lights from the ceiling were obscured by heavy smoke. Deidara’s big sliding doors were pulled back, offering a view of the pool and Jacuzzi.

A bunch of people were in the pool, and a couple was making out on a beach chair, which Sasuke politely ignored. He recognized roughly half of the people there; they were mostly seniors from Konoha. He didn’t recognize the others, many of whom looked like they were in their twenties. In fact, it was entirely possible that Sasuke was the youngest one there.

Sasuke was immediately sideswiped by a senior with long blond hair and a formidable amount of cleavage. He didn't remember her name, but he'd seen her when the seniors would come in after his English 10 Honors class had finished to wait for English 12 to start. Apparently she had also "seen him around." She started to talk to him in a slurred voice about how great of a person she was because she was open-minded enough to support having multiple sex partners.

Sasuke knew what she was getting at when the girl put her hand on his shoulder, slowly dragging it down his bare arm as she licked her teeth. He didn't know why he agreed to come to this party. They were all the same. The people were generally either pretentious, shitfaced, insecure, testosterone-driven, stupid, horny, or some ungodly medley of all of the above. But sometimes even that was preferable to spending lonely nights in an empty house.

He looked around for his friends and saw Suigetsu hitting the bong, Karin in his lap kissing up and down his neck. Juugo was by the kitchen table, chatting with Deidara and Kabuto over a beer. There was only one way he could get through this party and keep his sanity intact. Two girls had started kissing in the kitchen, and people were cheering and hooting.

"Look at that."

Sasuke pointed to the scene, distracting his conversational partner from her lusty thoughts.

"Holy shit!"

She laughed, moving towards the activity. His plan successful, Sasuke slid around some dancers and navigated over to Juugo. Kabuto and Sasuke exchanged a nod, as they'd said nothing to each other all evening.

Juugo smiled at Sasuke.

"Got caught up, huh?"

Sasuke grumbled, grabbing a 211 and popping the cap. He took a long swallow. It was a cheap beer, and the taste was a little acrid, but its relatively high alcohol content would do the job. He took a deep swallow.

"HOLY TITS, he fucked him with a mop! Now it smells like yak piss up in this bitch!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, disregarding the out of context shouts emanating from the other room. For such reasons, he preferred to stay with Juugo and Kabuto at parties. The two were quiet and didn't say anything particularly stupid. For the most part, he could calmly nurse his beer without people hanging over him or trying to get him to dance or sing with them. People continued to approach him, of course. He'd been asked to join the bong circle about five different times.

As he continued to drink, the people became less and less obnoxious. He wasn’t frowning so much, a fuzzy warmth on his cheeks and chest. He sat at the table, resting his chin on his hand. The beer started to taste better. He even laughed at someone’s joke. In fact, after two tall cans of 211, he found that perhaps this party wasn't such a nightmare after all.

Sasuke drank sometimes, but rarely did he drink much. He'd only been seriously drunk once before in his life, and it had not been a pleasant experience. He had originally decided to stick to one beer, but when he found that he was enjoying himself, he didn't want to stop. This feeling was rare for him. He felt the way he used to when he was younger, participating in social situations without an inner cynic constantly reminding him how pointless and stupid it all was.

Sasuke was hardly even buzzed. Then he stood up and realized that he may have miscalculated a tad. Okay, he was buzzed. But not drunk. Though his speech was unaffected, he'd become more animated, and his mouth had become dirtier. While nowhere near as enthusiastic as the other partygoers, he smiled from time to time and even laughed when appropriate. He'd been making small talk with a brown-eyed girl with unnaturally red hair for some time now. She had been the one to approach him, introducing herself as Tayuya.

"So what the fuck are you doing here? Aren't you a sophomore or something?" she asked, tugging at her lip piercing.

"Yeah, I'm a sophomore. The fuck's it to you?"

Tayuya smirked, amused by Sasuke's insolence.

"You're practically a fuckin' kid, man. You don't look it though."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. He was no child.

"I'm not sure if I should be taking that as a compliment or not, but I have no doubts I can keep up with you."

Tayuya laughed sardonically.

"Is that so? Don't know if you're a boy or a man..."

Tayuya leaned into Sasuke, smelling strongly of weed. She placed her hand against his chest and allowed it to drag down, feeling his pecs and abs. Sasuke tensed, a little frustrated that someone was rubbing on him again.

"You're certainly  _built_  like a man."

He didn't move away.

"You don't have to tell  _me_  that."

She raised her eyebrows at him mockingly.

"Well, look who's got an ego."

Her feet fumbled slightly as she moved closer to Sasuke, her chest lightly touching his.

"You know, I don't normally go for pretty boys like you."

And without warning, she placed her hands on either side of Sasuke's face and kissed him, her mouth wide open. Sasuke's body went straight, and he blamed his slow reflexes on the alcohol. Ordinarily, he would've pushed her away without hesitation. But her tongue clashed against his, moist and warm. His heart began to quicken, and the buzz of the alcohol quelled his inhibitions. It had been too long since his last kiss.

Sasuke kissed back, seeing Kabuto and Juugo smirk in his periphery. This kiss meant nothing to him, tasting strongly of weed and hard liquor. Rebelliously, his mind wandered back to his only ex who really mattered. He recalled when he shoplifted the necklace, and he knew he was doing this for the same reason. Their tongues wrestled, and Sasuke bit her lower lip, sucking lightly on her lip ring. He backed Tayuya into a wall. She moaned and trailed her hand down Sasuke's cheek, resting on his chest as she shoved her tongue into his mouth again.

As caught up as he was getting, this wasn't something he wanted to do just feet away from his friends. Sasuke separated from the group, directing the two of them to a bit of free space by the couch and coffee table. Tayuya navigated sloppily around the couch, brushing it with her hip as she fumbled. Tayuya decided to take the couch and plunked down, pulling Sasuke by the shirt so that he fell on top of her. She raised her thigh between Sasuke's legs, an offer for friction which Sasuke did not accept. She grabbed Sasuke's hand, tugging it under her shirt so that his hand rested on her breast. Sasuke edged his thumb under her bra, dragging it lightly along the soft skin there.

Rising to the challenge, Tayuya traced her finger down Sasuke's happy trail, now unbuttoning his pants. Sasuke guided her hand back upward, getting a close view of Tayuya’s face. He was buzzed, questionably even drunk, but this seemed sleezy to him. This girl’s eyes were red, pupils dilated. People were passed out next to them, only a few of them fully clothed. Some guy in the opposite corner was getting head.

"Don't be coy, Sasuke."

She smirked at him. Sasuke frowned. It wasn't that he lost his nerve, or that he was embarrassed to be doing this in front of others. He just didn't want to be like everyone else at this damned party.

"I'm not trying to be cute. I'm not interested in going there."

Tayuya chuckled, her face sneering up at Sasuke.

"I thought you said you could keep up with me,” she slurred. “Was that just talk?"

Tayuya tried to unbutton his pants again, using her other hand to knead against his crotch. Sasuke removed her hand again, aggravated with her persistence.

"If keeping up involves whipping out my dick for someone who's too high to even stand straight, then I'll stay behind. Nothing personal."

Tayuya averted her eyes from Sasuke, searching for a comeback. Finally, she turned back to him, smirking knowingly.

"You're not a virgin, are you?" she taunted.

Was she hoping that he'd have sex with her to defend his masculinity? How transparent.

"Because you have to be a virgin not to want to fuck someone you just met?"

She shrieked out a laugh, her voice loud.

"So you  _are_  a virgin!"

Several people were looking over at them now. Sasuke hitched, feeling a slight warmth flush to his cheeks. For an instant, he was speechless. So, Tayuya realized she couldn't talk him into this and was trying to embarrass him now. Perfect.

Sasuke countered, his voice a little louder than it needed to be as he glared down at her with amusement, "This is how you take rejection? Someone's insecure."

He spoke nowhere nearly as loudly as Tayuya had, but he wanted people to hear him defend himself. He wanted them to know why Tayuya was saying these things. Perhaps he was being a bit childish himself, and the alcohol certainly wasn't helping.

Tayuya looked around, laughing and pointing at Sasuke. When would she just shut up?

"He didn't deny it! He's a virgin!"

People looked away, evidently nowhere near as amused by the whole situation as Tayuya was. Everyone seemed too wrapped up in their own affairs to pay her any mind, and the music was so loud that anyone more than a few feet away from them was totally out of earshot.

Sasuke stood up, staring down at Tayuya patronizingly.

"You're not worth the trouble."

He walked away from Tayuya, pushing himself through the throng of bodies and navigating back into the kitchen. He angrily poured himself a shot of gin and downed it in an instant, clearing his throat as the alcohol burned. So this is why he hated these sorts of parties. They were all the same, and he regretted not going with his instinct. Suigetsu ran up behind him, patting him hard on the back.

"Sasuke! Damn, hittin' the juice again? I've never seen you cut loose like that before! Pour me one of those."

It wasn’t that Sasuke was particularly drunk. He just had a reputation for relative sobriety. Sasuke sighed, pouring Suigetsu a shot of gin. It was gone by the time Sasuke looked back at him.

"So Kabuto told me you and Tayuya went to the lover's corner. How'd that one go?"

Karin, obviously smashed, stumbled up behind Suigetsu. Sasuke glared at Suigetsu, who shook his head.

"No? Well Tayuya is a fuckin' piece of work, man. You're better off."

Karin slurred, "Yeah, she's a fucking BITCH, S'suke. She said saw my shirt at Walmart and I was like, 'SLUT, don't you even go off on me. Your vagina's like a revolving door.'"

She put her arm around Sasuke, a strong scent of alcohol assaulting Sasuke's nostrils as she kissed his cheek.

"I'd treat you _sooo_ much better," she drawled.

Despite their idiocy, they had managed to make him feel a little better about the situation. Sasuke edged away from Karin, feeling especially uncomfortable given the fact that her boyfriend was staring directly at them. He wished Karin would at least _try_ to hide the fact that she was attracted to another man.

"Shit, woman! You can at least wait until I'm gone!"

Karin stamped her foot.

"Next time, I will! I think I need more to drink..."

Suigetsu pulled her back by her arm, and Karin stumbled.

"Do you want to walk out of here or be carried? Calm the fuck down."

Karin ripped Suigetsu's hand off of her.

"No! I smoked a lot of weed, but if I don't drink a lot, it will be uneven. And I'll have a bad time. Do you want me to have a bad time?"

She swayed as she used the table to balance herself. Sasuke was already feeling the alcohol's effects, the din of the music and other partygoers blurring together.

"'Sides, you drank a  _lot_. Why can't I drink more too? You're hoggin' it all."

Again, Karin made a grab for the vodka bottle.

Suigetsu squinted his eyes, holding Karin in place, "Yeah, cuz I can  _handle_  my fuckin' liquor. Unlike someone I know."

"You take that back!" Karin shouted, punching Suigetsu’s arm.

Suigetsu crossed his arms and shook his head.

"Hell no! Ya lightweight!"

Karin hit Suigetsu on the arm again repeatedly, each one quickly following the next. Enough with these two. Suigetsu tried to move away but was blocked by a large mass of people.

"Karin, stop! That hurts! Sasuke, calm her down!"

But Sasuke had already walked away, spotting Juugo sitting outside with Kabuto, Deidara, and Deidara's friend Sasori. Sasuke spent the rest of the night smoking cigarettes, listening to Deidara brag about his cousin’s alleged gang involvement, begrudgingly fielding questions about his fight with Sai, warding off flirtatious females, and impatiently wondering when his group of friends would finally decide to leave.


	7. Chapter 7

He paid for it on Sunday morning. The hangover seemed to hover over him all night, just waiting for him to awaken so it could pounce him like a feral cat. He rummaged through the drawer of his bedside table and found his Zoloft bottle, wincing as he swallowed a capsule dry. Damned medication. His hangovers never used to be so brutal, but he’d rather deal with this than the alternative.

He ran into his brother before he left for work on Sunday and had to pretend that he didn't have a migraine that made him want to throw a lamp out the kitchen window. He was on Advil and chicken soup until the afternoon, which he spent studying.

Monday was more of the same, as was Tuesday. The same people and the same conversations. He ran into Tayuya after lunch period. As she approached him, he disregarded her completely, briskly walking out of the cafeteria and letting the door swing shut behind him. He wasn't sulking, but he believed that there was nothing she could say that would interest him. She seemed much more simple-minded and dull when he was sober. Kabuto invited him to another party, which Sasuke firmly refused. As much as his friends attempted to convince him, he refused to budge.

He told Naruto he'd come to pick him up at the park after school on Wednesday. He was wearing a dark blue button down with jeans and black Converse, his backpack swung over one shoulder. He didn't bother changing before walking over to the park, which was comfortably close to his high school. It was a sunny day out, just a little too hot for Sasuke’s preferences.

He approached the same bathroom where he found Naruto on Saturday. Naruto was lying on his stomach, feet swinging in the air as he worked at a Sudoku puzzle someone must have left at the park. Since Naruto had been given prior warning this time, his hair was neat, and his body was clean.

"Knock knock," Sasuke announced himself, standing about 6 feet away.

Naruto smiled, not looking up from his puzzle.

"Who's there?" he asked, swaying one of his legs.

"It's your limousine, here to escort you to the gala."

Naruto raised an eyebrow, adjusting an imaginary monocle and pretending to sip at a teacup.

"Well I do hope this one is a Rolls Royce. And with buttwarmers. Anything else simply will not do."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, a light smile on his face.

"Get your ass up. We have places to go."

Naruto closed his book and held out his hand to Sasuke, who hoisted him up.

"Where to?"

"We’re getting you a new outfit. Can't have you walking around in rags."

Naruto looked a little disappointed.

"Nooo. You're supposed to say 'to the stars.'"

He then paused, apparently needing a while to process the statement.

"Wait... You're buying me clothes?"

Naruto looked up at Sasuke, his eyes open in blatant shock. Evidently, the kid had the processing speed of a sloth. Sasuke had to look away, finding the situation awkward.

"Well... I didn't get you a present. I thought this would be better."

It wasn't completely selfless. He knew a lot of people in this town, and he didn't want people to see him with someone dressed like that. This is why Naruto's gratitude made him a little sick to his stomach.

But he also knew that Naruto got sick of living as he did. He probably didn't like the looks any better than Sasuke did. Maybe just for this one day, Sasuke could let Naruto experience what he had always taken for granted.

"I...don't even know what to say. Thank you, Sasuke."

Sasuke merely scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"I'm buying you an outfit, not a Lamborghini. Now let's go."

They made small talk as they walked to a nearby discount store, about a mile out of the way. Sasuke's budget couldn't afford anything much more expensive than ten or fifteen bucks, and even if it could, he was sure that Naruto wouldn't hear of it. Naruto grinned as they entered the store.

"Man, it's been  _forever_  since I've been clothes shopping."

"I wouldn't have guessed," Sasuke teased.

"Alright, smartass," Naruto said as he punched Sasuke's arm. Sasuke gave him a light shove back, careful so as not to send the lighter male flying.

The store was large, with a good dozen carousels crammed full with unorganized items of clothing. Sasuke browsed the shoe rack to give Naruto some space while he searched for his clothes.

"Hey, Sasuke!" Naruto called over.

"Yeah?"

Naruto scratched the back of his head.

"Well, you look like... A stylish enough guy…” Naruto was looking away from Sasuke, a little bashful now. “Why don't you pick something that would look good on me?"

Sasuke snickered.

"Need help, Uzumaki?"

"Shut up," Naruto answered, crossing his arms. “I’m just trying to save time because there’s so much stuff to go through.”

Sasuke would let Naruto save face, he decided. The two of them looked over different carousels. Sasuke had stumbled across a turtle neck that looked like it was from the early ‘80s, a jumpsuit, and a large jacket with cheap pleather and an excessive amount of leopard “fur” on the collar and sleeves. About one out of every ten pieces of clothing, however, were actually something he might consider wearing.

Sasuke found Naruto a pair of camouflage shorts and some light blue jeans. Sasuke thought they would fit Naruto’s complexion pretty well. Neither were sure of Naruto's size, so they tried to eyeball it. Naruto had picked up a number of colored tops. Sasuke was surprised they were able to find so much, though it had taken them a good twenty minutes.

Sasuke followed Naruto to the dressing room, which was separated from the rest of the store by a curtain. He waited patiently in a seat across from Naruto's stall as he changed, which didn't end up taking very long at all. The door flung open, revealing Naruto in his new clothes...a short red party dress.

Naruto used his best falsetto voice, "Sasuke, does this dress make my butt look fat?"

An instant's shock replaced confusion as Sasuke gave another peek just to make certain they had entered the male dressing rooms. Right, unisex. His lips undulated as he attempted not to laugh.

"What butt?"

Naruto had now apparently settled on speaking as a male once again, "What are you talking about? I am fucking voluptuous. Look at these curves!"

Naruto smoothed his hand down from his chest to his ass, swishing his hips to the side.

"I got one for each rib," he grinned.

Naruto always had seemed to have a sense of humor about his situation. It made Sasuke glad.

"Uh huh," he answered sarcastically, raising his eyebrows.

Naruto lifted his finger to his mouth.

"Now... I'm going to need some large pearl earrings and red lipstick. A young lady needs to put her face on."

He swung the curtain shut again. Sasuke could hear him taking the dress off and changing into something new.

"Never thought I'd help you blossom into such a lovely young transvestite."

Sasuke crossed his arms, leaning back into his cheap plastic chair.

"Right? And please, I know I look really fucking sexy right now, but try not to fall in love with me, okay?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"You’re delirious."

But Naruto didn't let that stop him, his voice as animated as it had been.

"Cuz I'm just at that time in my life…ya know? The world is my oyster. I need to play the field. I'm like a fuckin' free bird. Can't chain me, man. I'm in the prime of my life, and maybe we'll talk when I'm older, when I wanna settle this fine ass down and have some fucking babies."

Sasuke was silent, quickly looking around to assure that they were alone. However, Naruto could not see him biting his lip so that he wouldn't start laughing. A suppressed smile was threatening to invade Sasuke's face, a muffled snort betraying him despite his best efforts. And unfortunately for Sasuke, this was just when Naruto finished changing and opened the door.

"Hah! You think I'm funny. I knew it!"

Naruto was dressed in the light blue jeans, the straight legs narrow enough to fit but also baggy enough so as not to make Naruto look too thin. He wore a dark grey tank top with a rust orange button down, which stopped at his elbows. The colors complemented his tanned skin nicely. Sasuke stopped laughing, staring at Naruto for a moment before he spoke. It was strange how simply changing his clothes could transform him like this. He looked like just about any other kid.

"I like it."

Sasuke's words stopped short. Subconsciously, he had always found Naruto attractive. However, now it had become obvious to him. He scolded himself. It was odd to falter like this, to be distracted by another guy's appearance. Had he been staring?

"Really?"

Naruto was grinning at him, pleased by his approval.

"Yeah. You clean up nice."

Naruto flicked his hand.

"Oh stawp, you."

"When did you pick up that dress, anyway?"

Shaking his head, the blond chuckled.

"Someone left it in the room."

Naruto paused, looking in the mirror.

"So, this one?"

Sasuke nodded. He waited for Naruto to change into his old clothes, afterward buying his new ones at the front. Naruto looked rather guilty when he overheard the total, which barely breached ten bucks. For a second time, he thanked Sasuke, who shrugged it off. Naruto changed into his new clothes in the restroom, and Sasuke stuffed the old clothes into his backpack.

Their next stop was In N Out. Sasuke had insisted on as much after Naruto confessed that this was also his favorite burger joint. The line was short, and the cashier was a young girl from Sasuke's chemistry class.

"Oh, hi Sasuke!"

She smiled, waving cheerfully. Her brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail. She was what Sasuke’s classmates would call “pretty.”

"Hey."

"What'll you have?"

Sasuke didn't need to read the menu. He had simple tastes, really.

"I'll have a hamburger, extra tomatoes. And this guy's with me."

He pointed to Naruto, waiting for him to place his order.

He scratched the back of his head.

"Uh... I'll have a glass of water."

Sasuke stared at Naruto flatly, who appeared rather embarrassed. He rolled his eyes.

"Have you even eaten anything today?"

"No," Naruto admitted, looking a little embarrassed.

Sasuke leaned forward, "He'll have a double double and a chocolate shake."

Naruto put his hand on Sasuke's forearm in an effort to stop him.

"Sasuke! You already treated me."

He grabbed Naruto's wrist and gently pushed it away.

"You need to eat, and I'm not doing this for charity. You're letting me drink some of your shake."

The girl behind the counter giggled.

"Sasuke, are you on a date?"

Sasuke blanched as Naruto laughed, pointing at him.

"What? No! This is my friend."

Out of Sasuke's view, Naruto smiled. Sasuke had called Naruto his  _friend_ , in front of a classmate no less. Naruto felt a little silly for letting this affect him so much, but he couldn’t get that smile off of his face. The girl leaned forward on the counter.

"Do you always treat your friends out to dinner and share milkshakes with them? That's so adorable."

"Tch. I don't swing that way."

She shook her head, still laughing.

"Alright, alright. You should come around here again. I'm here on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

Sasuke grunted.

"I'll keep it in mind."

Before sitting down, Naruto stabbed the chocolate shake with a straw. It was still pretty dense, so he had to work for his first few sips. He moaned under his breath, hopefully audible to no one other than Sasuke. Chocolate milkshakes… God. Naruto was used to all of his food being the same temperature, which was usually however warm the weather happened to be. He closed his eyes in appreciation as he took another sip, accidentally bumping into a young woman and apologizing.

They took one of the booths towards the front of the restaurant, waiting for their number to be called.

"Hey, Sasuke..."

Naruto took a long sip of his milkshake, clenching his teeth at the resulting brain freeze.

"Hm?"

Naruto put the shake down, which Sasuke then grabbed for himself, taking a modest sip as Naruto recuperated.

"You're...one of the popular kids at school, aren't you?"

He sat the shake back on the table in front of Naruto, leaning back. He wondered why Naruto would ask such a thing.

"You could say that. Why?"

Naruto's eyes fell as he fumbled with the bottom corner of his new button down.

"I just don't know why someone like you would hang out with someone like me."

He sipped at his shake, looking through the clear cap as the beverage shrunk down. Ordinarily, Naruto didn't seem insecure. But every now and again, he would say something like this that made Sasuke wonder. Honestly, Sasuke didn't see what his popularity had to do with any of this. There was a short pause between them until Sasuke answered.

"Don't put yourself down like that."

Naruto's eyes shot back up at Sasuke. He looked surprised.

"I wasn't very popular in school. I never stayed in one place too long growing up."

Naruto still appeared uncomfortable, as he so often did when speaking of his past.

"Switching families?"

Naruto nodded, looking uncomfortable. Sasuke wanted to know more. He wanted to know if Naruto ever knew his parents, or what happened to them. But Sasuke understood the need for privacy, more than most anyone else. He wouldn't push Naruto. This was a courtesy Sasuke often wished others would extend to him as well. Again, there was a lull in their conversation.

"You really like movies, don't you?"

Sasuke decided that it was best to change the subject before Naruto's mood fell.

"Yeah. How did you know?"

Naruto rested his elbow on the table.

"You keep making references to them."

Naruto chuckled.

"Do I really do it that much?"

"Just enough for me to notice. Someone bought me a gift certificate to the theater by Broadway."

Naruto toyed with the straw wrapper, tying it into a bow.

"You mean the one that plays classics?"

"Mhm. Want to go?"

Naruto's mouth hung open. He didn’t have time to respond. Their number was called, and Sasuke grabbed them their burgers and returned to the table. Naruto grabbed his double double, holding it to his nose and breathing in deeply. His eyes closed as he smiled.

"God, Sasuke. You are  _really_  spoiling me. First the outfit, then this glorious burger of Valhalla,  _then_  a movie?"

He shook his head.

"It's not a big deal. Like I said, I have the gift certificate anyway."

He had been planning on using it to take Itachi with him. However, with Itachi's hectic work and school schedules, Sasuke eventually relinquished that ambition. He missed his brother, and despite Itachi's best efforts, he didn't have much time for Sasuke. So the card just sat in Sasuke's wallet for months, the corners bent and creased. Looking at it was a little depressing. Sasuke didn't fully understand it, but using it now, with Naruto, made him happy.

Naruto took a large bite of his burger, unable to chew with his mouth closed. Sasuke bit his own neatly, chewing his food slowly and thoroughly.

“ _Mmmm…_ This is _so_ good,” Naruto told him, still chewing.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Sasuke snapped.

“This is just too good…” Naruto swallowed, faking his best crying noises. “I don’t know if I can handle this, Sasuke. I’m about to have a meltdown here.”

“You’ll survive,” Sasuke answered, his lips upturned just slightly.

Despite the fact that Naruto's burger was much thicker and larger than Sasuke's, he was already close to half way done by the time Sasuke had taken his third bite.

"Didn't anyone ever teach you to chew with your mouth closed? I'm not doing the Heimlich on you if you choke."

Naruto's voice was muffled by burger as he sipped his shake, "You'd be the worst predator ever. Like hell is my food getting away."

He chomped at the burger again, using a crumpled napkin to wipe away a splotch of mustard on his chin. Naruto finished his burger long before Sasuke, sipping on his shake as he patiently waited for the other boy to finish. Naruto had smiled as he ate, so glad to have a hot meal for once. He looked like an imbecile, but watching him made Sasuke enjoy his own food just a bit more.

* * *

The theater was about a thirty minute walk away. The weather had cooled to a comfortable temperature. They could have taken the bus, but they decided to take advantage of the brisk evening air. After all, they were in no rush. They made small talk, lightly roughhousing as one teased the other. Once they finally arrived at the theater, the two browsed the titles. Naruto seemed to be having trouble picking.

"What about Monty Python and the Holy Grail?" Sasuke suggested.

Naruto paused for a moment, then laughed, shaking his head.

"What's so funny?" Sasuke asked, sounding a little put off.

"It's just that I'd never expect you to like Monty Python. You don't seem the type."

Sasuke smiled crookedly, glancing over at Naruto.

"There's a saying about books and covers."

A feline-like grin took Naruto's face.

"I know that more than anyone."

Due to it being a Tuesday night, the line for tickets was short. This was fortunate, as the movie was going to begin in five minutes. Sasuke had seen it once several years ago, so he sent Naruto into the theater to save them spots while he bought them popcorn. Sasuke had claimed that he was only doing so to get rid of the gift card by spending the remaining balance, but this was a lie.

Sasuke was confused by his own behavior. Other than Itachi, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d bought someone a gift. And here he’d bought this guy he’d only known for a few weeks an outfit, food, and a movie, all in one night. But something about how appreciative Naruto was, about how his whole face would light up, to the point where he looked half way to pissing himself… Sasuke felt happiness, if only a little.

He was only a burden to his brother, who worked his hands to the bone just to provide for him. He didn’t make very good decisions these days either. He wasn’t doing anyone much of a favor. But with Naruto, he finally felt like he was doing something good. He felt dirty sometimes, with the people he hung out with and the things he did. Being with Naruto, who seemed so innocent despite everything, made him feel clean.

Naruto knew nothing about what he’d done or what he’d been through. He could forget all of it around him. Naruto knew next to nothing about him, when all was said and done. When he was with Naruto, he could pretend to be someone else. Nothing about those stupid parties, the company he kept, his shoplifting, the fights he’d gotten in, what happened last year, or his home life. It was a reprieve.

Sasuke returned to sit next to Naruto. They lifted up the armrest, the popcorn resting between the two of them. The movie earned several bellowing laughs from Naruto. He nearly lost it when the Knights Who Say Ni were introduced. Sasuke himself chuckled a few times, totally oblivious to the fact that Naruto would stop watching the movie every time Sasuke laughed. He glanced over at Sasuke as the sophomore lifted popcorn to his mouth, waiting until his quick laughter had ceased to take a bite. The light of the screen reflected against Sasuke's coal-colored irises, and Naruto smiled as he watched Sasuke. Oddly, he found himself thinking that Sasuke looked beautiful.

When finally, the movie ended, Naruto stood abruptly and galloped out of the theater, all the while clapping his hands to mimic horse hooves.

"To the holy grail!" he whooped.

His eyes rolling, Sasuke dragged behind Naruto with the empty popcorn bucket in hand.

"Keep that up, and I'm going to pretend not to know you."

Naruto whipped around, frowning as he crinkled his nose at Sasuke.

"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries."

Sasuke arched a brow, not bothering with a retort.

It was getting late, and Sasuke had to wake up early the next morning. The two of them decided to ride the bus back to the park, since this area tended to get a little dangerous after nightfall. As they meandered towards the door, a girl with a messenger bag covered in peace sign pins approached them. Her waist-long brown hair trailed behind her, and her boyfriend had his arm around her shoulder. She smiled at them warmly, and Naruto smiled just as widely back. Sasuke edged away from the two of them, perplexed and slightly disturbed by the situation. What were those two up to?

The girl waited until she was close enough to them to speak quietly.

"You know, the two of you are so brave. I couldn't help but notice you in the movie. It was really nice to see."

Sasuke cast the girl an odd expression, believing that he caught her inference but not certain. Naruto cast her a thumbs up.

"I really am incredible, aren't I?"

The girl continued, "Yes, it's just so nice to see two people who aren't afraid to express their love for each other."

Her boyfriend nodded as well, obviously in agreement. Sasuke's jaw dropped slightly, his brows knit. Again? _Seriously?_ Naruto swung his arm around Sasuke's shoulders, pulling him close in.

"Yeah, I  _love_  this guy!"

Sasuke budged, sharply elbowing Naruto in the side.

"Hey, dumbass..."

But Naruto did not allow this to daunt him.

"He's like...the ice cream to my cone, man. In fact, he bought me ice cream just the other day!"

The girl clasped her hands together.

"Aw, that’s so sweet! It just goes to show that the love two men share for each other is just as real as any other love."

Naruto popped his collar, which did not help Sasuke's embarrassment with the situation at hand.

"Heh. Nothin' more real than this, baby."

He locked their hands together and held them up, the Uchiha turning his face and flicking his hand away. Her boyfriend cast them both another nod.

"More power to you, both of you."

"It was great meeting both of you, even if your boyfriend is a little quiet,” the girl said with a wink, cocking her head at Sasuke. “You seem like wonderful couple. Goodbye."

The two walked away, holding hands and leaning into each other closely. At the word "boyfriend," Naruto stopped cold, his eyes large and his face in a very dramatic, open frown. _Boyfriend?_  It took Naruto a while to process the situation and react. He yelled after them, sputtering.

"Wait! It's not like that! We're not dating! We're not a couple!"

But they were either out of earshot or simply did not want to hear. Naruto turned to Sasuke, frantically tugging on his arm to get his attention.

"Sasuke! She thought we were dating all this time! Did you know that?"

Sasuke held his face in his palm, shaking his head.

"Naruto, you are so stupid sometimes that it's painful to watch."

Naruto pouted, gently shoving Sasuke's shoulder.

"You knew, didn't you?"

Sasuke snickered.

"You think?"

Naruto frowned slightly as they exited the building, sauntering towards the bus stop. For a moment, he appeared to be lost in thought.

"Why do people keep thinking that? Is it really so out of the ordinary for a couple of guys to go to dinner and a movie together?"

Sasuke shrugged. While it had been awkward at the time, he wasn't bothered by the mix ups. There was nothing wrong with dating a man, so he had no reason to be ashamed. Still, he didn’t really get it. Was it body language? Some sort of dynamics he was unaware of? People could really get ahead of themselves.

"Got me."

The sound of their footsteps echoed as they took their shortcut, quickly passing between two buildings.

"Sasuke," Naruto asked in a quiet voice, "do you have a girlfriend?"

The taller boy scrunched his eyebrows together.

"What?"

Naruto fumbled with his sleeve, stammering, "I mean... I’m sure you don’t have any trouble."

Sasuke looked at Naruto skeptically, subconsciously putting more distance between them as they walked. Naruto wasn't...interested, was he?

"Why are you asking me this?"

Naruto refused to look at Sasuke directly.

"'M'just curious."

Though Naruto's behavior was suspicious, Sasuke didn't see any harm in answering the question.

"I've had a few girlfriends, but most of them didn't last long. I'm single by choice."

The blond placed his hands in his pockets, kicking a rock as they met up again with the sidewalk.

"If you don't mind me asking, how did they end?"

The Uchiha sighed, taking in his environment. It was a beautiful night, and he wished he had a cigarette.

"They were mostly shallow relationships, results of hormones and boredom."

Sasuke was omitting one particular instance in this case, but his vague statement was not questioned. One girl with long, strawberry blond hair distracted him, but he quickly rerouted his thoughts. Naruto gave the rock another kick.

"Ah..."

Sasuke wondered, at that moment, if Naruto had ever dated. What were his options, in his situation? Sasuke didn't even know how long he'd been homeless.

"What about you?"

Naruto walked past the rock, his eyes clinging to the ground and moving as far away from Sasuke as possible. One hand clenched his sleeve, the other picking at an imaginary stain on his shirt.

"Well... I... I've never had a  _girl_ friend."

Sasuke smirked, casting a knowing glance at Naruto.

"Oh? Why the emphasis?"

Naruto was silent for a much longer time now. His face was growing a dark pink, which was even noticeable in the poor lighting. Sasuke gazed over at him, watching him as he flustered and bit his lip. He looked like he was searching for the courage to continue.

"I never... Um... I did have a boyfriend once."

Sasuke's tone didn't change.

"So, are you gay?"

Naruto still couldn't look at Sasuke.

"I think..." Naruto trailed off. He hadn’t had experience with any other gender, so it was difficult for him to know.

Sasuke shook his head, rebutting teasingly, "I should've known when you started professing your love to me and wearing red party dresses."

Naruto snickered.

"So... Are we good?"

Onyx locks bounced as Sasuke tilted his head.

"You mean am I going to storm out of your life because you're gay? Of course not."

It was then that Naruto was finally able to look at him again, cheerful now.

"Thanks for being so cool about this, Sasuke."

A thin brow was cocked.

"That's not me being cool. That's just me not being a total asshole."

Naruto shrugged, finding another rock to kick.

"Yeah, I guess. But a lot of people aren't so understanding."

"A lot of people are assholes," Sasuke responded matter-of-factly.

Naruto rubbed his now sweaty fingertip over his shirt's button.

"What about you, Sasuke? Did you mean what you said to that girl at In N Out?"

Naruto accidentally kicked the rock towards Sasuke's side, and Sasuke kindly kicked it back over to Naruto.

"You mean do I like guys?"

Naruto nodded. Sasuke paused for a moment, thinking. Had he ever been attracted to guys? There had been a time, when Sasuke was very young, when he kissed a boy at school. His father had been called, and Sasuke's television privileges were revoked for a week. If he had felt any attraction towards the male gender, he had ignored it thoroughly. For much of his life, he worried that pursuing such a thing would disappoint his father. And now, he felt very little for anyone, though he doubted that this had much to do with his sexual orientation.

"I've been attracted to girls, but not a guy yet. Truthfully, I haven't thought about it much."

"Mn."

It was impossible to miss the disappointment in Naruto's voice. Did Naruto have feelings for him? Sasuke was beginning to suspect as much. But even if he did, Sasuke would refuse to let it make things between them awkward. This certainly wouldn't be the first time a friend had developed a crush on him.

As they reached the bus stop, a man boarded the bus, his wallet falling behind him and landing on the pavement as the doors began to close. There wasn't a soul around for blocks, the zipping of cars offering the only noise. Naruto quickly ran up to the bus.

"Wait!"

He waved his arms wildly.

"You dropped your wallet!"

The man urgently begged the bus driver to stop the doors from closing, and they soon began to open again. The man smiled at Naruto, who picked up his wallet and handed it to him.

"Thank you so much,” the man said with a smile, relieved. “You're a lifesaver."

The bounce in Naruto's mood was obvious.

"Heh. Be careful, okay?"

The man nodded, waving gratefully as he walked back into the bus. Naruto jogged back to Sasuke, a smile revealing Naruto's top molars.

"That wallet was thick! He would've been totally screwed."

A look of mild bewilderment lurked on Sasuke's face as he simply stared at his friend. He had watched the entire situation. Reluctantly, he experienced a surge of admiration towards Naruto. Naruto could have easily gotten away with taking the wallet. But even though he could hardly afford to eat, he had gladly returned it. Of course, it could've been only because Sasuke was watching. But still, he hadn't hesitated for an instant. There was no reluctance, as if there had never even been a question in his mind.

Sasuke was a cynic. He believed that once all pleasantries were shed, people were dishonest, selfish, and manipulative at their cores. Perhaps this was why he was so surprised.

"What's that look for?"

Sasuke seemed to snap back into his own, gesturing for Naruto to forget the matter.

"It's nothing."

Sasuke craned his neck upward as a bus neared the stop.

"This is us."

The two boarded, taking a double seat row towards the back. They jolted as the bus began moving, and Naruto exhaled deeply as they encountered their first surge of traffic. Naruto's eyes began to flutter shut, and his body leaned into Sasuke's. Finally, Naruto's head lopped to the side, falling on Sasuke's shoulder. Warm breath misted Sasuke's collarbone.

Naruto had never mentioned being sleepy. With his body as malnourished as it was, it made sense that Naruto would tire easily. Sasuke remained still so as not to wake him. Yes, Naruto was gay, and yes, perhaps he had a crush on him. But there was nothing wrong with this. It was a simple, platonic act.

Naruto appeared peaceful, almost angelic as he slept. Sasuke believed that most anyone would appear this way in sleep and never bought into the hype, but with Naruto, he couldn't help it. His deep inhales and exhales were barely distinguishable, soft snores escaping every couple minutes. Sasuke was enjoying the warmth on his shoulder, the sense of companionship. It had been a long time since he allowed himself to be close to anyone. It was best that Naruto was asleep. Without privacy, Sasuke would have never allowed himself to feel this way.

He watched Naruto as his eyelids twitched, and he was finally able to analyze the scars on Naruto's cheeks that had intrigued him. They were evenly spaced, so that they appeared intentional. It appeared that the cuts were deep, and the partially jagged pattern indicated that there had been a struggle. Sasuke averted his eyes, not wanting to think about this anymore.

It gave him the same feeling he had experienced when he'd read Itachi's journal as a child, as if he was encroaching upon Naruto's privacy. And he didn't like the icy, sharp sensations that brewed in his gut when he thought about such suffering being brought upon someone so innocent. Did this have something to do with his hatred towards the foster care system, or had this happened afterward? As softly as he possibly could, he moved a wheat-colored lock away from the tanned cheek.

Naruto stirred as the bus made its stops, but he quickly fell back into slumber. As they neared their stop, Sasuke roused him. Noticing that he had slept on Sasuke's shoulder, Naruto blushed and quickly readjusted his hair.

"Crap, I'm sorry. I should pay more attention to where I'm conking out."

"Don't worry about it."

The distance to Naruto's bathroom was short. Sasuke pulled Naruto's belongings out of his backpack, placing them by Naruto's resting spot. They stood there together for a while, both of them knowing what had to happen and neither of them wanting to announce it. Sasuke finally broke the silence.

"It's time for me to head out.”

Sasuke frowned, and so did Naruto. It was late, and he needed to sleep. But he didn't want to go. He wanted to stay with Naruto, to have their stupid conversations and roam around the town aimlessly until midnight, or even later. His mind returned to the party Saturday night, and he realized that tonight had been one hell of a lot more fun.

Loneliness haunted Sasuke constantly. Even when he was with his friends, he still felt lonely. He was unable to escape his own grief. But Naruto was an exception. He felt happy around him. He laughed more, was kinder, and was finally able to relax. It didn't matter what Naruto was. Even in the short time they had known each other, he was quickly becoming important to him.

Naruto smiled softly.

"You know... Before you offered to hang out with me, I thought this was going to be one of the worst birthdays of my life. But instead, it was one of the best. It's been a tough year, you know?"

Sasuke nodded wordlessly. Perhaps it was a little sad that this had been one of the best birthdays of Naruto's life. But from what Sasuke could ascertain, his foster families were lackluster, and he was always short on friends. And so far as how the year had gone, Naruto wasn't alone in that. Indeed, this had been the toughest year of Sasuke's life.

"Thank you, Sasuke. Even if it seems kind of silly, I'll never forget tonight."

Sasuke's heart beat into his ears, a slight tingling on his arms and back. Naruto looked like he was close to tears. He couldn't remember the last time he had made someone so happy, and just for a moment, he wondered if maybe he wasn’t such a bad person after all. He wouldn't admit to as much, but as mundane as the night had been, he didn't think he would forget it either. His body felt light, and his lips were lightly upturned as he maintained his aloof nonchalance.

"I know, Naruto."

Sasuke smirked arrogantly, pausing before his features softened.

"I enjoyed this," he admitted, unable to look into Naruto’s eyes.

Naruto shot back a wide grin.

"Believe me, me too."

They stared at each other for several seconds, Naruto smiling and Sasuke feeling torn. Sasuke hesitated before walking away with a wave. He was going going back to a nice home, with a comfortable plush mattress, a stocked kitchen, and thirty TV channels. Leaving Naruto in a park felt wrong, but what other choice did he have? Distracting himself, Sasuke walked away without looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone liked. Tell me what you think; I thrive on comments.


	8. Chapter 8

Sasuke shook a sticky soda can into the bag Naruto held out for him. Naruto's other hand held a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on wheat. Ignoring Naruto's protests, Sasuke made a habit of packing himself two meals whenever working at the park. It was repayment for all of Naruto's help in the kitchen and at the park, Sasuke explained. A simple quid pro quo. He had also brought Naruto a hand-me-down black track jacket he had outgrown in the past year.

The leaves had begun to change, occasional dabs or red and yellow dispersed among a sea of palm trees. As far as autumns went, this was as drastic as southern California got. The weather had begun to cool, and now Sasuke frequented the park in a jacket.

Sasuke explained to Naruto that the cool weather had caused the beach to become less popular, meaning that less cleanup was required. Thus, his only other possible option was the park. He neglected to mention that he could've also cleaned up a number of hiking trails, as well as the grass around the freeway. It was a white lie.

In the time that passed, Sasuke was dragged to a few more parties. He was beginning to find them somewhat more tolerable, and they broke the monotony of his week. He was seeing his psychiatrist monthly now. Money was tight for the Uchiha brothers, and Sasuke had been more than willing to forego the extra sessions, especially if it meant a more comfortable lifestyle for his brother. He’d done a great job convincing Itachi that he didn’t need them; he was getting better and better at hiding his instabilities. Besides, the sessions hadn’t done him any good anyhow, and he was still taking his medication.

Sasuke had also developed something of a shoplifting habit. Most of the nervousness and adrenaline of his first time was gone. He stole without thinking now, quick and dirty. But as he neared the security censors, he still experienced a rush, if only just a small one. It snapped him out of his dull and meaningless routine. He found himself stealing even if he hadn't originally wanted to. It became a compulsion for him. While he admitted this to himself on some level, he took few measures to remedy it other than occasionally avoiding stores. He had a knack for it and never came close to getting caught.

Of course, Naruto knew nothing of this. Sasuke never talked about his friends, the ways they misbehaved together, or the parties they went to. He didn't talk about how he'd made out with some random girl, or about when they had to drop Suigetsu off at the hospital because he drank too much that night. Nor did he mention the fate of his parents, his stressed and overworked brother, or their perpetually empty house.

He didn't want to talk to Naruto about any of those things. Despite Naruto's situation, and the fact that he was far less sheltered than even Sasuke, he seemed innocent to the Uchiha, untainted. How would Naruto react if he knew the truth? Aside from that, Sasuke enjoyed getting away from his normal life. When he was around Naruto, the person he used to be returned to the surface, if only just barely. There was no need to mar these moments of blissful escape with reality.

Sasuke had been especially quiet today, the hangover from the previous night not yet abated. Sasuke told Naruto that he had simply woken up with a random headache, which Naruto bought without questioning. The sunlight ached, feeling as if someone were jabbing their thumb into the back of Sasuke's eyes. He was prone to migraines, and hangovers certainly didn't help matters.

"So I've been getting more trouble from the cops..." Naruto trailed off, frowning.

They were walking down the dirt trail, by the baseball field.

"Oh?"

Sasuke recalled the time that he had talked Naruto out of one of his last run-ins with the police. How frequently did that happen, anyhow? Naruto shrugged.

"Yeah. I don't know how much longer I can stay in the park. They told me to leave yesterday."

The ping of a baseball bat sounded as a boy hit a double in the field to their right. Sasuke glanced over at Naruto, whose discouragement was obvious.

"Do you know where you're going to stay now?"

Naruto shook his head, his frown sinking lower.

"I have a few options. None of them are very good, but it is what it is I suppose."

Sasuke wasn't sure how to respond. Ironically, he had just lost his home. Naruto must have been filled with dread, sadness, and maybe even fear. He should be comforting Naruto, and he knew this. But this was something he had always been horrible with.

"Naruto, there's a shelter a city over. Why don't you just go there?"

"No. I can't," Naruto answered quickly, not giving Sasuke's suggestion even an instant of consideration.

It wasn't that Sasuke was angry with Naruto. But he wondered why Naruto would submit himself to this if he had any choice in the matter. Why was he doing this to himself? Why was he turning down, no, running  _from_  shelter, food, and a relatively safe environment when they were immediately in his grasp?

"What do you mean, you can't? Yes, you can. I can even take you there."

Naruto contended, "No, I can't. It's pretty obvious that I'm not over eighteen. If I check myself into the shelter, they'll call social services, and I'm back in foster care."

There was something Naruto wasn't telling him. This story made no sense. What was he hiding? Why was Naruto trying so hard to dodge the system? And what had he experienced in foster care that had been so horrible?

If someone else had been inflicting this on Naruto, they would have been lucky to get off with something as simple as a broken nose. But in this situation, Sasuke was completely helpless. He had brought this issue up with Naruto once before, and Naruto had refused to budge. He hated to watch this, and to him, it was totally unnecessary. Why was Naruto doing this to himself?

He didn't bother to hide the anger in his voice.

"So? So what, you end up in foster care. You'll have a roof over your head, food, and a bed to sleep in. Look at you. You live in a goddamned park, you're dressed in rags, and you're way too fucking thin. Stop sitting on your ass and do something about it! Take care of yourself for once!"

Perhaps he had gone too far. He didn't care. He just wanted this to stop. He couldn't stand watching this anymore. He worried about Naruto far more often than he would admit to himself. What if he got mugged? What if he got sick and couldn't get to a hospital? Who would protect him then? Naruto was just a kid, hardly older than he was.

"You really don't get it, do you?” Naruto growled, hiding the hurt in his voice as he shouted at Sasuke. “You're a spoiled brat, and you have _no idea_ what I've lived through. You’re so fucking lucky, and you don’t even get it! Just shut the hell up."

This had been the first time he had ever seen Naruto truly angry. Sasuke understood that Naruto had been through a lot, probably much more than Sasuke had. Yet still, Sasuke resented the implication that his own life was sunshine and roses just because he had a roof over his head. Naruto wasn't the only one with secrets.

"Then what  _is_  it? What am I not getting? Explain it to me, so a spoiled brat like me can understand."

His tone towards the end was mocking, his frustration mounting as they continued to argue.

"I don't have to explain  _anything_  to you!” Naruto seethed. “It's none of your goddamned business."

Sasuke had entered Naruto's life just over a month ago. He supposed he had no right to decide how Naruto should live. It was painful, but he realized that he needed to respect this. He had been intrusive, and it was so unlike him. Why did this bother him so much? Sasuke walked in silence, doing his best to muster up the words he knew he needed to say.

"Sorry," Sasuke muttered. “I know next to nothing about you, and it wasn’t my place to ask.”

Naruto was still incensed, but he recognized that Sasuke probably wasn't a guy who liked to apologize. He attempted to calm himself before responding to Sasuke. He knew why Sasuke was acting like this. Although Sasuke's words had stung, Naruto was at least happy to know that someone cared about him. Still, Sasuke’s apology seemed almost sad.

"It's alright. I know you didn't mean anything bad by it."

Despite Naruto’s words, Sasuke could tell that his hurt and frustration hadn’t much diminished.

"Mn."

They were close to finishing the park, and the next fifteen minutes were spent in near silence. Although the two had reconciled, there was an awkwardness between them that didn't dissipate. Naruto tossed the bag in the dumpster as their job came to an end.

"I'll probably be staying near Eighth and J, if you want to see me. I won't be at the park much anymore."

Sasuke tried not to make his disappointment apparent. Nothing good happened in that part of town. He'd heard of a few cars getting broken into, and even an armed robbery about a couple miles from that intersection several years back.

Despite their earlier disagreement, he couldn't help but comment, "That's a pretty shady part of town, Naruto."

Naruto shrugged.

"Yeah, I know. But I know for a fact that the cops don't bug you there."

Sasuke nodded, refraining himself from making any more comments.

"Alright. Well, Thursday then."

Sasuke had wanted to say more. He wanted to tell Naruto to just use his brain and protect his own safety and wellbeing, that this situation was crazy. Didn’t he understand how dangerous this was?

But it was none of Sasuke’s business.

"Yeah, Thursday," Sasuke responded, and it seemed entirely inadequate to him.

* * *

Sasuke was frustrated with himself when he lost a couple hours of sleep that night worrying about Naruto. Had Naruto moved yet? Had the cops gotten to him? Was there something else he could've said to him to get him to go to the shelter? Was there anything he could have done?

It didn't take long for things to happen to people. By the time anyone even suspected, they could already be gone without a single warning. He didn't expect Naruto to vanish, but his mind wandered, and his dreams were fitful.

By Monday, he was able to forget. His teachers appeared to have consorted against him, scheduling a twenty page paper, two different tests, and a speech within a three day period. He stayed up until the wee hours of the morning studying every night, though he'd never admit as much to his friends. By the time he bussed out to the soup kitchen from school, he had dark bags under his eyes and a nasty headache.

This time, they had him handing out rolls and salad. He did his job without thinking, casting a nod and several "you're welcome"s at the patrons. However, the words "soup's on" did not announce the beginning of his shift this evening. Sasuke did his best to ignore this, even smiling at a small girl who seemed especially pleased by the rolls. From time to time, he would halt his routine to scan the room for Naruto. He was nowhere to be found. Naruto had shown up every Thursday just as the doors were opened, shouting the same damned phrase like clockwork. And now, where was he?

This was unusual, but Sasuke dismissed it. They would be open for almost three hours, so Naruto had plenty of time to arrive. But when one hour passed, and then two hours, Sasuke began to remember their conversation from Saturday. As tired as he already was, he grew distracted, placing a salad on the wrong plate and dropping a roll. He recalled that the two of them had fought bitterly but quickly, and they parted awkwardly. Though Sasuke had apologized, he didn't know if Naruto had fully forgiven him. Is this why he wasn't showing up?

Or had something happened to him? He'd spent almost a full week in his new spot. Sasuke’s feelings from Saturday night began to return. He tried to talk himself out of worrying. Maybe Naruto had mixed up his new bus routes. Or maybe he was just acting like a brat because of Saturday’s argument. Maybe he had a cold, or maybe someone had already fed him today. Sasuke frowned as the kitchen closed for the night, the pit of his stomach turned to sludge.

When Itachi picked him up, his face was pale. Undoubtedly, he was exhausted and probably once again coming down with one of his low-grade illnesses. Itachi noticed that Sasuke was particularly withdrawn. He tried to speak to Sasuke, who gave delayed and dull responses. Sasuke reassured his brother that he was simply tired from studying, which was true.

After the kitchen closed that evening, he wanted to find Naruto himself. But he had no time to do this before Itachi arrived, and he knew Itachi wouldn't want Sasuke out late on a school night. Anyhow, he didn't want to overreact. He’d wait until after school on Friday to check up on Naruto.

It was late afternoon when he finally arrived at Eighth and J. Tents lined the sidewalks and alleyways like crooked teeth, against a backdrop of concrete buildings. Sasuke walked down the stretch slowly, browsing for Naruto. He covered the block. He had been walking about five minutes when he saw someone walking forward, resting his body against a brick building. Sasuke noticed a familiar faded T-shirt trudging along.

"Naruto?"

The boy continued walking, ignoring Sasuke's voice. As a noisy bus passed them, Sasuke wondered if Naruto misheard. He came up closer, speaking more loudly now.

"Hey, Naruto."

The shorter of the two stopped moving, lifting his head.

"Oh, hi, S'uke..."

Naruto's voice was clumsy and nervous, and Sasuke immediately suspected that something was amiss. What a horrible poker face. He walked in front of Naruto, looking behind him to finally get a glimpse of the blond. Gathering his will, Naruto turned his face directly towards Sasuke, smiling as if nothing were different.

A black eye, a swollen nose, and a nasty scab on his lip marred Naruto’s face. Who knew what state the rest of his body was in? Sasuke's eyes broadened as he took in the damage, and he swallowed hard. But at least his voice didn't fail him, flat and collected as always.

"What the hell happened to you?"

Naruto blinked abashedly, "Oh... Just got in a little fight. No big deal."

Sasuke scrunched a brow, looking Naruto over.

"No big deal? You look like you were pummeled by a baboon."

Naruto grinned widely, pointing to his face with his thumb.

"Please, you're just jealous of how majestically rugged I look now."

Sasuke sighed, crossing his arms as Naruto's tone put him at ease.

"Right. You should stop picking fights, dumbass."

Naruto smiled again, and it seemed rather rigid to Sasuke, even a little bit scared.

"Yeah... I will then."

They took several paces in silence before Sasuke cast Naruto a look of suspicion, sighing, "Naruto, what really happened?"

Blue eyes wandered towards Sasuke’s.

"Honest?"

Sasuke nodded.

"Some older guy... I think he was homeless too... He kind of tired to...do stuff with me."

Sasuke unconsciously held his breath, his eyes falling towards Naruto in disbelief.

“What kind of stuff?” Sasuke asked, not knowing if he wanted to hear the answer.

“You know…” Naruto mumbled, struggling to continue. “Like… Sexual stuff…I think.”

Sasuke was speechless. He hoped that this was just a horrible joke.

"I'd been asleep by the curb, so I wasn't expecting it. He was a big guy, so I had trouble getting away. But I did escape before he...you know..."

Sasuke stared at Naruto vacantly, the shock on his face impossible to overlook. He searched for words. What was he supposed to do in this situation? His friend had just been assaulted, molested, and nearly raped. Any good friend would have done something about it, would've found something comforting and meaningful to say.

As articulate as Sasuke ordinarily was, all he could get out was, "So. You..."

Naruto turned his head away in embarrassment.

"Jeez, Sasuke. You don't gotta look at me like I'm a maimed baby penguin or something."

Naruto's statement snapped Sasuke out of his thoughts, and shock was replaced by anger. Ice was rushing through his veins and capillaries, his heart thudding with desire for payment. Someone had to pay.

He knew it. This had been a horrible idea. If Naruto had only listened to him, this wouldn't have happened. But he wouldn't blame Naruto for this. No, he was angry at the situation, and angry at what had happened and what  _could_  have happened.

"Jesus, that is...so fucked up. Where is he?"

Naruto placed his hand on Sasuke's forearm, a calming smile on his face. He didn't want Sasuke to be upset, but seeing him get upset over him... It made him happy that Sasuke cared so much.

"Sasuke, he wasn't right in the head, you know? I don't think he even fully understood what he was doing."

He knew that Naruto was trying to calm him down, but it only made him angrier. He didn't want to hear that.

"That's no excuse. See, people are worthless. They're fucking scum."

Naruto scratched his cheek, shaking his head.

"Ah... People aren't so bad, you know? Even the ones you think are bad... Maybe they just need to be pushed in the right direction."

Sasuke paused, turning to Naruto. He didn't understand how Naruto could say something like that, covered in cuts and bruises. How could he be so forgiving? His brain detoured towards a more selfish subject: If Naruto knew about him, would he feel the same? Would he give him that same benefit of the doubt?

Sasuke couldn't agree with Naruto. He could not bring himself to be so understanding, and he still wanted to break that man's jaw. But his features softened as Naruto beamed up at him, trying to get him to reconsider.

"It's...really dangerous out there, isn't it?"

Naruto scoffed, his voice tired as he replied, "Well, it isn't Disneyland."

He frowned, giving Naruto another look over. He was not short, but he was thin. He didn't seem to be all that experienced with the streets, considering how he acted when he ran into that cop and his current situation. He had known that this situation was dangerous, but despite his misgivings, he had let Naruto do as he wished. Who knows what would happen the next time? He grabbed Naruto's wrist snugly.

"You're coming with me," Sasuke stated, his tone authoritative.

Even Sasuke was surprised to hear the words leave his mouth, but once they’d been spoken, Sasuke had no doubts. Naruto backed away, his palms facing outward as each eyebrow moved in the opposite direction.

"I am?"

Sasuke stared directly into Naruto's eyes as he insisted. Something about Sasuke's confidence made Naruto actually consider this.

"My house is empty all the time. My brother's in law school full-time and has a part time job, and my parents..."

Sasuke needed to make a quick decision. He didn't want a pause to give him away.

"They're always traveling for business. So I have people over sometimes, even for nights, and I get away with it."

This was it. If Naruto insisted on avoiding the system, this was the only way Sasuke could keep him safe. This would fix everything, if only for a little while. It was insane, but what other choice did he have? Naruto's eyes widened as he shook his head.

"No, I can't do that to you."

Sasuke smirked, turning towards the bus stop.

"I'm not giving you a choice in the matter."

He tugged Naruto forward by his sleeve. He had been told that he whenever he was angry or upset, he got tunnel vision. He was fixated, charging directly towards the bus stop. Nothing else existed. Naruto deadpanned.

"So, you're kidnapping me?"

Sasuke didn't bother to look back.

"So it would seem."

Naruto laughed, shaking his head at Sasuke in disbelief.

"No offense, but are you crazy? Like clinically, psychologically insane?"

"Entirely possible."

Maybe he was crazy. He was inviting a homeless person into his house, and he'd have to leave him there alone. And even if Naruto proved trustworthy (he'd returned the wallet, right?), this entire scheme was destined for failure. As rarely as Itachi frequented the house, he was still bound to find them eventually. Sasuke was taking quite a risk.

Usually when he got this feeling, Sasuke did something bad. It was that restlessness, that itch to do something that would get his synapses sparking. And this was crazy in the same way, but he felt good about it.

"It's just a matter of time until your family catches us."

Sasuke shot back his responses, giving Naruto's protests no mind.

"And you'll have somewhere to stay until then."

"I'll be fine, Sasuke. You don't need to..."

He didn't want Naruto to say he'd be fine. Sasuke didn't believe him anymore.

As they neared the bus stop, he interrupted Naruto, "Stop talking. I'm not listening."

Naruto accepted Sasuke's plans with a faint smile, attempting to hide his relief.

"Maybe we can try one night. But let me grab my stuff first."

Sasuke sheepishly supposed that this would have been a prudent consideration before storming off to the bus stop in a fit of determination and protective rage. Naruto grabbed his possessions, and they waited for the bus in silence with the large black bag beside them. It was not a tense silence. Perhaps they were both overwhelmed by what had just happened, deep in thought and trying to come to terms with it.

Sasuke had spoken out of passion. He knew from the beginning that this wasn't going to last. But he at least hoped that until then he could figure out a safe alternative for Naruto that he would accept. He hadn't thought about the specifics. Where would Naruto sleep? How would he feed him? What would happen if Naruto got sick? He remained calm, answering these questions as best he could. This idea was crazy enough as is. It would take a level head now.

Predictably, the bus was packed tight. They both stood, Naruto's belongings crammed between them. The noisy bus didn't leave much room for conversation, Naruto staring out the window in a daze. A couple of the more tactless occupants stared at Naruto, the boy obviously injured and in rags. As Naruto looked over to Sasuke, the younger smiled back at him faintly. He raised his pointer and middle finger to Naruto's forehead, pressing against his anxiously knit brows as his brother had always done for him.

"Don't worry so much, dumbass. It'll work out."

Through what appeared to be a great effort, Naruto smiled back at Sasuke.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a day late! It's been crazy on my end.
> 
> By the way, when you get to the shower scene, here is the movie clip it's referencing:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R73gqMVYqek
> 
> I watched this and knew I had to write it.

The bus dropped them off only a couple blocks from Sasuke's home, the sun still comfortably warm as the wind swayed a palm tree here or there. They carried Naruto's belongings together, Sasuke holding the rolled up sleeping bag and Naruto lugging the garbage bag over his shoulder. They passed by a long row of humble houses with lawns in front, some of them green and fresh while others were browned and dying. 

The change in environment had piqued Naruto's curiosity. Glancing around him, he’d barraged Sasuke with questions about the neighborhood. While a bit annoyed by his constant chatter, Sasuke figured that Naruto’s distractibility was coming through for him right now. The change of scenery had calmed his nerves.

"Oh, this is nice. When'd ya move here?" 

He hadn't heard any of his classmates call the neighborhood "nice." Sasuke's area certainly wasn't the best, but it wasn't the worst. It was an obvious downgrade from where he used to live, which was a quaint two story house with wall-to-wall carpeting and a cherry tree in the back. But he felt comfortable walking around the small expanse of the cul de sac at night, and his neighbors were decent. He supposed this was all he could ask for.

"Last year."

"Where'd ya move from?"

"The west end, past Beach Street."

Naruto whistled.

"Nice part of town. You guys must be loaded."

Sasuke grunted. They hadn't been "loaded," per se. They'd been middle class at best, but coming from Naruto's perspective, he supposed they might as well have lived in a mansion.

"Are we there yet?"

The Uchiha frowned, cocking his head to a random patch of concrete.

"Yes. Get out of the car."

Naruto stuck his tongue out at Sasuke, shoving Sasuke’s shoulder from behind. Sasuke halfheartedly swatted Naruto back, causing Naruto to drop his bag and trip over it. Fortunately, the bag broke Naruto’s fall, with Naruto now sitting directly on top of the large black sack. Sasuke wasn’t sure if he should feel amused or guilty.

“Mmn, yes, as you can see, I’ve become king of this wide bounty of random objects,” Naruto rested his chin on his hand, raising a brow regally. “Behold my royal throne.”

Sasuke shook his head, taking a couple steps forward.

“Behold the royal sponge!” Naruto shouted, grabbing a rather questionable looking sponge out of the top of the bag. It had probably been yellow at some point in the past, though now it was a dark shade of burnt orange. “I said behold it!”

“You’re not bringing _that_ into my house,” Sasuke told him, crinkling his nose in disgust.

“Like hell I’m not! It’s my only sponge!” Naruto frowned, holding it in more tightly to his body.

“I’ll give you fresh sponges.”

“But this one’s the royal sponge. Sasuke, are you trying to undermine my kingly authority?”

Sasuke sighed, growing impatient. When would they stop going on about this damned sponge and get home?

“It’s putrid, and I’m pretty sure I see mold. Your sponge is literally alive.”

“My royal subjects of the mold colonies!” Naruto cheered, grasping the sponge in his hand as he rolled off of his bag, stuffing the sponge back in.

Naruto slid off quickly, now holding the top of the bag in both hands as he attempted to swing it over his shoulder. It was clearly too much for him.

“Take your sleeping bag. It stinks,” Sasuke griped. “I’ll hold the bag.”

He knew Naruto would be too stubborn to accept his help, and he reasoned that it’d be a pain in the ass to wait on Naruto to lug the thing around.

“Jeez,” Naruto huffed, “You got it, princess.”

Naruto gladly took the sleeping bag, leaving the bag for Sasuke. He effortlessly hoisted it over his shoulder. Out of his peripheral vision, he saw Naruto watching him curiously, but Naruto only grumbled and looked away when Sasuke glanced back at him. Sasuke mused that this was much easier than it could’ve been.

It wasn’t much longer until they reached Sasuke’s house. There was a small front yard, which was Sasuke's responsibility to maintain. The house was tall but compact, two stories with grey blue panels and a large white door. Two large windows faced the street, framed in white. A white one car garage lay off to the side, and the door's stoop was made out of brick. Sasuke approached the door, cracking it open as Naruto stared hesitantly from a distance.

"Come on. No one's home."

Of course, this was no surprise to Sasuke. Fridays were some of Itachi's busiest days, and Sasuke knew not to expect him until well after dark. Naruto timidly approached the home, waiting for Sasuke to enter and begrudgingly confirm once again that they were alone. Naruto whistled as he breached the threshold.

"You've got a nice place here, Sasuke."

Sasuke nodded. His home fell just short of middle class – comfortable but nothing luxurious. It was nothing compared to his old place. He had come to dislike his new house, but not for this reason. Rather, he missed the old house and the memories that belonged with it. He’d lived there since he was three, so he remembered his first day of second grade, his mom’s 40th birthday, and where they buried his first hamster in the back yard.

While practical enough, the new house left him feeling empty. Other than a handful of exceptions, the memories he had in his new home were just loneliness. Since he was so often alone, sometimes he still felt like he was staying at a hotel. To Sasuke, it was more a building than it was a home.

The floors were old hardwood, and the walls were cream and bare, with a rare painting or picture here or there. As they walked through a short hallway from the door, the living room lay in front of them. A blue carpet started as the hallway turned into the living room, which housed a black sofa and a three foot television. The hardwood floor resumed where the living room led into the kitchen, which had a convenient little island in the middle.

While the home was well kept, it appeared to be at least thirty years old and very sparsely furnished. There were a few cracks running down the walls, and there was a stain on the ceiling. Really, the two boys hadn't had much time or money in the past year to buy new furniture or decorations or fix the house’s aesthetics.

"Alright. Since you're going to be staying here while I'm at school, you'll need to remember where everything is and how it works.”

Naruto nodded.

“You should be alone most of the time. My parents are traveling for the next couple weeks. My brother’s gone almost every school day until past midnight, so unless you hear the garage door open, you're in the clear."

“Roger!” Naruto told him with a salute.

"So here are the living room and the kitchen, obviously. Don't use the stove. It's been acting up lately. And the office..."

Sasuke opened a door from the kitchen which led into a study. There was a large desk, a desktop PC, and a world map on the wall, along with a couple of reading glasses on the desk. A large bookshelf was filled with Itachi’s law books.

"This is more my brother's room than mine. There's another PC up in my room."

Naruto was silent.

"Normally, I can't get you to shut up. You're creeping me out."

Naruto gave a nervous “heh” trying to crack his normal smile.

"It's just... It kinda feels funny that I'm staying here, somewhere like this,” Naruto fidgeted, his eyes cast downward. “Maybe I'm a little...overwhelmed?"

Sasuke nodded, understanding where Naruto was coming from. This was a big change for Sasuke. Someone he'd just met short of two months ago was living with him, however temporarily, and he wasn't going to tell a soul. But for Naruto? He was leaving everything he had been familiar with. That is, except for Sasuke.

"Right. Want to watch some TV?"

"That sounds amazing," Naruto beamed.

Sasuke smirked, walking Naruto over to the television. He hoped that this would allow Naruto to steadily acclimatize without overloading him. He showed Naruto which remote did what. Naruto claimed that he understood, but this was soon contradicted when any attempts at changing the channel resulted in static. The boys took a seat on opposite ends of the couch. Sasuke had Naruto turn on the television and change the channels so that he'd remember what he'd learned. Finally falling on Adventure Time, Naruto settled with a grin on his face.

"I remember this show! It was getting popular just before I left."

"Left?"

Naruto searched for words.

"Ah... I mean my last foster family. I left them about a year ago."

Sasuke leaned back into the couch.

"You haven't been homeless that long, have you?"

Naruto chuckled, "Well, it seems a lot longer when you're out there. But no, I guess I haven't."

Sasuke nodded, quietly allowing his upper body to rest on his thighs.

"There must be a lot to learn."

Naruto nodded quickly and emphatically.

"Yes! I had no idea about any of this stuff when I left! It was like when you run off as a kid and you expect to be able to exist on a box of cookies."

Sasuke gave Naruto an odd look, though glad that he was finally acting like himself again. He was sure that this relief would fade soon enough, when all attempts to silence him would fail miserably.

"You didn't really leave with a box of cookies, did you?"

Naruto laughed nervously.

"Well... I actually just took a box of Captain Crunch and a jumbo bag of Skittles. I figured...you know, calories I guess?"

Somehow, the image of Naruto running off with an arm full of junk food seemed quite realistic. Sasuke had run away once, at the age of seven. It lasted for only three hours, but even then, he had done a better job of preparing for vagrancy than Naruto had.

"I was totally clueless until I met this other older bum. His name was Jiraiya, and he was really pervy, but he was kind of cool in a way too. ...Though still pervy for sure. He was like my mentor. He taught me the ways of the hobo! But I gotta admit that I still don't really know what I'm doing."

He didn't know how much he liked the idea of some pervy older bum "showing Naruto the ropes." A guy like Naruto wouldn't even see it coming if he'd been crossed.

"So you ran away?"

Naruto pretended not to hear Sasuke, allegedly distracted by the television. Sasuke rolled his eyes as Naruto laughed a little too loudly at the next joke. With a sigh, he figured that this was none of his business anyway.

Sasuke browsed through his cell phone as he waited for the cartoon to finish, finding little interest in it. It kept Naruto engaged, however, and his posture was becoming much more relaxed. He was leaning deeply into the couch, his legs stretched out. Sasuke had a few text messages from Suigetsu, which he ignored. When the show was over, Naruto grinned at Sasuke.

"Man, it's been forever since I've sat down and watched a show like this. Watchin' stuff on displays gets old fast."

Sasuke cast Naruto a nod. He couldn't remember the last time he'd given a damn about watching television, or getting on the computer, or any of the other stuff he normally did. It was simply a given. To take such joy out of something so simple... It was beyond him.

"Well, show me the rest of your crib! I can't wait to see your room. I bet it's all tidy and spiffy."

Sasuke arched a brow.

"'Spiffy'? Who uses that word anymore?"

Naruto mimicked Sasuke's expression, mocking him.

"I'm trying to be ironic, Sasuke. Duh."

Sasuke stood, turning the television off.

"Come on, idiot."

Naruto followed Sasuke close behind as he took the stairs from the corner of the living room, ascending to the second floor. The entire upper floor was covered in wall-to-wall cut pile carpet. It was a simple layout, a long hallway stretching down to the wall on the opposite side of the floor. There was one long crack in the wall, which had been concealed as well as possible with white paint. Sasuke guided Naruto down the hall, pointing at the doors along the way.

"So on the right side, there's the door to my room, and the door to my bathroom. This is basically my half of the top floor."

Naruto scrunched his nose, pointing.

"What's that door to the left?"

Sasuke shook his head, "That's Itachi's room. You must never go there, Simba."

Naruto chuckled, glad to hear Sasuke attempt comedy for once, "And what did Simba do? Charge right in there in a day."

Sasuke approached his bedroom, turning the knob.

"That would be exceptionally stupid of you."

Naruto couldn’t help but feel the anticipation as Sasuke opened the door. Naruto had his theories about Sasuke. He watched the way he moved, the way he talked, the way his eyes moved when he was angry or dismissive. He was a difficult nut to crack. Thinking about things like that gave him something to do besides filling out Crossword puzzles in newspapers that people left behind in the park. One day, he spent a full hour trying to guess what Sasuke’s room looked like. White walls, probably an Apple computer which he was fairly snobby about, a small and neatly kept bed, and a desk. He probably had a few band posters as well; he’d seen Sasuke with his earbuds on plenty of times.

Sasuke's room was covered with the same white carpet, the walls painted a dark blue with various band posters taped on the walls. One of them covered a crack running down the wall. Sasuke's room looked a lot more worn in than the rest of the house, which surprised Naruto. If anything, he’d expected Sasuke to be a very minimalistic person. Naruto took a good look, making a mental note of Sasuke’s tastes: Sublime, Pulp Fiction, Led Zeppelin, some obscure bands called Mother Mother and Soft Bullets... Not bad, Naruto mused.

His room was neatly dusted and vacuumed, everything folded and in order. Naruto had been right about that much. He wondered at how a teenage boy, younger than him no less, could keep his room so tidy. Naruto had been scolded for the disheveled state of his room up until he did away with housing altogether.

There was a small TV which Sasuke had picked up at the Salvation Army on the dresser, with an X-Box hooked up. Naruto hadn’t thought Sasuke would be anything of a gamer. His neatly made bed was a full, extra long to accommodate Sasuke's quickly growing height. A clunky computer with a CRT monitor sat on his desk, with large speakers and a two-liter of Diet Coke on the right of it. So much for the sleek and pristine Apple Naruto had been expecting.

He’d imagined Sasuke to be a bit wealthier than he seemed to be, and with a room somewhat less colorful. He’d anticipated something a little more austere, but he’d been pretty close, all in all. The room was every bit as neat as he’d suspected, if not more so.

It was just that Sasuke always seemed so well put together, so well-dressed and popular, that Sasuke being less than well off didn’t even occur to Naruto. Sasuke didn’t seem poor, but even Naruto had lived in places nicer than this, though long ago. Of course, to Naruto right now, Sasuke house was the Ritz Carlton. But it slightly irked him that his prediction wasn’t 100% spot on; he was normally so good at that.

Naruto edged closer to Sasuke, waggling his eyebrows.

"So, this where all the magic happens?"

"So to speak."

"A TV and a computer? We are set."

Sasuke crossed his arms, shifting his weight to one foot as the other rested outward.

"The computer is a little glitchy. I just put it together a month ago and have a few kinks to work out."

Naruto gaped at Sasuke.

"Put together? As in... You made it?"

"No, dipshit, I grew it."

For an instant, Naruto seemed to consider this.

"What are you, some kind of genius?"

The teen shrugged.

"I had two weeks with no school, a bunch of spare parts, and access to Google."

Naruto shook his head, blue eyes wide.

"Whatever, man. Last time I opened up a computer... I'll leave out the details, but there were clouds of smoke."

"That's hardly reassuring."

Naruto swatted at Sasuke dismissively.

"I'm not gonna open your precious computer, princess."

Sasuke arched a brow, tilting his head towards Naruto.

"I'm afraid you're the damsel in distress here."

Naruto pouted, crossing his arms and feeling his cheeks get just a little bit hotter.

"Hey, I was _not_ in distress. I was doing just fine."

The taller of the two cast him a look which needed no commentary.

"Alright, alright. So are you my prince charming? Knight in shining armor? The main man in tight..."

Sasuke lifted his hand, interrupting Naruto, "That's enough."

Naruto pushed Sasuke's hand out of the way, not to be deterred.

"Is it? Because I think I have a few odes I've yet to compose for you. Got a canvas? I could paint you."

Resting his hands in his pockets, Sasuke looked out the window.

"Mn. Like one of your French girls?"

Sasuke edged away from Naruto as he pushed him playfully in the arm.

"Exactly! See, you really are a genius."

With a flat face, Sasuke looked back at Naruto. He knew that Naruto felt something toward him that was beyond friendship. If not in his words, or his voice, it was all over his face. Whether Naruto was aware of this fact or not was beyond him.

"Naturally."

Were they...flirting? This could easily be dismissed as banter, but was it really only that? He watched Naruto's gestures, the subtleties in his movements. Sasuke wondered if it was prudent to play into it. After all, he didn't want to lead Naruto on, especially given their living situation. But even if they were flirting, Sasuke hated to admit that he had come to enjoy it.

"Why do I keep complimenting you?" Naruto sighed, "I never learn..."

"No, you don't. Anyway... You need to get cleaned up, and your wounds need tended to. Itachi should be home in a few hours, so you should take a shower while you still can."

Naruto scrunched his nose.

"Are you trying to tell me I stink?"

"I wasn't, but you do. Come here."

Sasuke rummaged through his clothing, glancing at Naruto to assess his stature and height. It appeared that either Naruto preferred baggy clothing, or it was the only thing he had access to. Unfortunately for these purposes, Sasuke didn't have any old clothing, unless one were to count his hand-me-downs. He had, however, grown a good amount this year, and thus had some smaller items lying around.

"How's this?"

He tossed Naruto an Audioslave T-shirt and some black and red flannel pajama pants. Naruto seemed to hitch as he caught Sasuke's clothing, recovering soon after.

"Hell, I can't complain."

Sasuke nodded.

"Right. I suppose this is a good time to show you my bathroom."

He closed the bedroom door behind him, quickly covering the three foot gap to the bathroom door. They were so close to each other that Sasuke wondered why the two rooms weren't connected. Now, more than ever, he wished that they were.

Sasuke taught Naruto how to operate the shower, separated by a beige curtain. Naruto learned well enough, agreeing not to get the floor wet as Sasuke left Naruto's outfit on the toilet seat.

"Scrub lightly. We'll take care of your wounds once you're dressed."

Naruto nodded with a smile, the door closing neatly behind him. He turned on the shower water, holding his hand out as the water slowly warmed. He glanced towards the door, hesitating before holding Sasuke's clothes up to his chest and inhaling deeply.

Though they had just been washed, they still had retained some of Sasuke's scent. He knew what this would look like and was glad for his privacy. The scent made him feel safe, protected, and even loved. It offered him comfort, which had been rare for him to come by for most of his life. It muted his budding anxieties. Despite the fact that Sasuke was almost a year younger than him, he wondered if this was like having a father or older brother.

He smiled softly as the water began to steam. It had been months since his last real shower. Padding himself clean in park restrooms could be rather lacking, but at least shaving wasn't an issue. He hadn't developed much facial hair yet, possibly because he was malnourished. He slipped his clothes off, goosebumps covering his body as he adjusted to the heat of the water.

Naruto loved the feeling of the hot water against his body, a luxury so rare to him now. He wanted to prolong it, to feel his muscles and ligaments relax as he stretched into the heat. His joints and muscles ached from sleeping on the streets. Naruto rubbed at the sore areas, the warm water acting as a salve. He gently removed the crusted blood on his face and the dust in his lacerations. He was able to groom himself thoroughly, cleaner now than he had been in months.

Meanwhile, Sasuke was spilling over his history book at his desk, attempting to tackle some weekend homework. But his mind was relaying everything that happened today. His emotions after seeing Naruto's face today disturbed him. Why had he allowed himself to be so affected? And now, he'd allowed (ordered, rather) this homeless guy he'd met a couple months ago to hide in his room. As crazy as this all was, if put in the situation again, he wouldn't have changed a thing.

He heard the water splatter in the other room as Naruto would move his arms, splash his hair, whatever he was doing in there. Naruto was naked and wet, just feet away... Sasuke lifted one leg over the other uncomfortably, thoroughly unsettled by the growing issue in his lap. He couldn't let Naruto see him like this. What was wrong with him?

He thought about Naruto's hair, his lips, his eyes... His eyes were so brilliantly blue that in any other situation, Sasuke might have wondered if he was wearing colored contacts. Sasuke sighed angrily, rubbing his temple with his thumb as his head rested in his hand. Naruto had been in there over thirty minutes now. What was taking him so long?

He'd generally been able to control his attractions. When was the last time he'd done something so prepubescent? And when had he ever been attracted to another male? His father would have been beside himself. Maybe it wasn't that, Sasuke reasoned. Maybe it was just his hormones. Puberty. It must be that it had been too long since he’d last had a girlfriend, and his body was intent on being horny and would rise to any bait. But he had to stop. He couldn't think about him anymore.

"If I should stay... I would onlyyy be in your waa..."

Naruto cleared his throat.

"Your waaaay-eeeh-haaaaayeehaay."

Sasuke stopped cold in his tracks, staring over at the restroom in consternation. Seriously? What guy their age sung Whitney Houston in another guy's bathroom? But he had to admit, it had taken care of his little dilemma very quickly.

And it continued. Naruto had no shame. When he forgot the words, he would mumble over the lyrics. He also seemed to like repeating lines, experimenting with different octaves and flourishes. Somehow, this four minute song was stretching onward into the evening.

"AND I. WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU."

And that's when Sasuke heard the garage door open.

Itachi wasn't supposed to come home for hours. Why was he back so early? Did it even matter?

“I will always, love YOOOOU!" Naruto shrieked out the high note, and it was absolutely earsplitting.

It was just a matter of time until Itachi would open the door from the garage to the house. What would Sasuke do now? Itachi would be in in a matter of seconds. He couldn't yell. Naruto could never hear him knocking over all of this racket, and he didn't exactly have time to test it out. Sasuke raced across his room, stepping lightly. He swung his bedroom door open and slid himself into the bathroom, shielding his eyes with his hand out of courtesy. Just as Naruto cut himself short out of shock, Sasuke faintly heard the door open and shut. He’d been _just_ in time.

"What the hell, Sasuke?! I know I'm hot, but show a little restraint for Christ's sake!"

He knew that it was difficult to hear this side of the floor from downstairs, and he prayed that his brother wouldn't notice. Sasuke was thankful now that his house was earthquake-proof; the sturdy build of the house meant that it was relatively noise-proof. Hopefully the noise of the shower had drowned them out. God, what sort of picture did those words paint out of context?

Sasuke whispered venomously, "Shut up! Itachi's..."

Naruto arched his brow, "What's wrong? Haven't you ever seen Bulletproof? The shower scene? I'm Adam Sandler, the experienced but lovable criminal and you're…that cop guy who is tough as nails but can just never let go of the Adam Sandler character because dammit, he loved him and what they shared was real despite…"

In all of his naked glory, Naruto seemed completely unbothered by Sasuke's presence. His words blurred together as he enthusiastically gained momentum.

"Just shut the hell up!"

Sasuke continued to shield his face, though Naruto was staring directly at Sasuke with no traces of modesty.

"You did see it!"

Sasuke actually did remember that movie. Had he just inadvertently quoted it?

"Keats, you’ll always be my bodyguard," Naruto quoted. "You know that."

Sasuke tried not to fantasize about smacking Naruto in the face. Patience, patience. How could this guy be so stupid?

"Listen to me," Sasuke hissed. "Itachi's home. One peep from you, and I will never give you an In N Out burger again for the rest of our friendship. Got it?"

Total silence from Naruto. It would seem that the threat had achieved its deserved effect.

Naruto whispered to Sasuke, "That's really messed up, man."

"Now be good. Or else."

As Sasuke walked towards the door, Naruto added, "It's a shame you're going."

Skeptical, Sasuke arched a brow and angled his head towards Naruto, avoiding eye contact.

"Why?"

Naruto faced away, his tone nervous.

"I like it when you're nearby. It makes me feel safe."

Sasuke unwittingly froze. It was rare for Naruto to act so vulnerable.

"This…isn't awkward for you?"

It was a strange request, after all.

"I got nothin' to hide."

Was this still in the territory of the platonic? Did it matter? Sasuke had been trying to read their dynamics, trying to determine where their conversations were heading. But maybe it was best to just follow the current.

"It may be safer, in case Itachi tries to relay a message to me in here."

It was a remote scenario, but it was possible nonetheless. He couldn't very well respond to Itachi with his voice coming from the bedroom when the shower had been running for as long as Itachi had been home. And considering the situation, it was best to be safe.

"Right. So stay."

Sasuke smelled his own shampoo and conditioner, water splattering as Naruto stretched his arm. He quickly glanced over at Naruto, temptation getting the best of him. He was thin, but it could have been worse considering the appearance of his elbows and shoulders. There was a deep scar running along Naruto's side, several inches long, and a fresh gash above Naruto's tailbone. But other than that, there were no abnormalities. He stopped his thoughts there. After all, he didn't want to end up with the same issue he had in his bedroom.

"I'm almost done."

"I would hope so. You've been in there nearly an hour."

Crap, the water bill!

"I’m sorry, Sasuke! I totally forgot about the water bill. I didn’t mean to put you guys out by being a water hog! It’s just been so long since…”

Sasuke smiled, just slightly, at Naruto’s apology. The water bill hadn’t crossed his mind either.

“Don’t worry about it. You can take long showers here.”

The water must have been piping hot, a dense steam accumulating over the length of Naruto's shower. Sweat budded around Sasuke's temples, the back of his neck, and his chest. His shirt was sticking to him uncomfortably, so he lifted it over his head and placed it in his lap.

Now it was Naruto's eyes that were wandering. Sasuke had made it a point to attend the gym frequently. He found that he studied and learned better after a heavy workout, so it served multiple purposes. His muscles were dense, defined lines tracing down his creamy pale chest. Sasuke had what some might call a baby face, but he looked much farther through puberty with his shirt off.

Getting a closer look, what caught Naruto’s attention were the many scars on Sasuke’s upper arms and abdomen. A deep, long scar on Sasuke’s side looked like it had maybe even needed stitches. A few of the scars were still pink, as if they’d only been gotten several months ago. Still, none of them seemed particularly serious, and perhaps some would fade away over the years.

Naruto wondered why Sasuke was so scuffed up. Was the guy into extreme sports or something? Naruto hadn’t accounted for Sasuke being a dare devil, but then again, there _was_ something very intense about Sasuke. Sasuke appeared emotionless and nonchalant on the surface, but there was something much deeper. Naruto had no doubts.

Sasuke glanced over at Naruto, who was blindly scrubbing his stomach as he stared at Sasuke. Perhaps other men would be disturbed if they caught a male friend checking them out. But Sasuke merely smirked.

"You seem rather engrossed."

Naruto looked away quickly, making a point of quickly scrubbing his body off and rinsing down.

"No, 'm just tired. I was spacing out."

"Clearly."

Naruto's cheeks began to darken. He hadn't wanted to be so obvious. He finished his shower, turning the water off. Noting the change in Naruto's mood, Sasuke tossed him a thick blue towel.

"Don't stress. I take it as a compliment."

As Sasuke should have perhaps expected, Naruto scratched the back of his head with a nervous smile.

"Thanks, man."

It didn't take Naruto long to dry off. He quickly toweled off his body, his hair fluffing outwards after he'd scrubbed the towel through it a few times. Sasuke averted his eyes as Naruto exited the shower, dressing himself in Sasuke's clothes.

Perhaps Sasuke was being superficial, but things always seemed so different when Naruto wore anything other than his traditional rags. He knew that Naruto was more than just some random bum, but dressed as he normally was, it was difficult for Sasuke to forget that Naruto was, in fact, a bum. But now, Naruto could have been a friend from school, or a study partner. They didn't have to have met in a soup kitchen. Naruto could have been anyone.

As Naruto walked towards the bathroom door, Sasuke yanked the blond back by his wrist.

"Your injuries first."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Sasuke, please. I've had worse."

Sasuke frowned and crossed his arms.

"That was an order, not a request. Those gashes are open and vulnerable to infection, and I am not spending hours in some overcrowded clinic waiting room because you're too lazy to use Neosporin."

Naruto groaned like a child being dragged to brush his teeth.

Sasuke continued, "I don't trust you to do a proper job, so sit on the toilet and face me."

The younger rummaged through his medicine cabinet, taking out Neosporin, a couple butterfly closures, Q-tips, and a box of bandaids. Sasuke had learned a lot about tending to wounds over the past year. He knew what would and wouldn't scar, what needed gauze, what needed butterfly closures, what needed a doctor’s visit, and what could be fixed with just a Bandaid.

Sasuke crouched next to Naruto, turning on the sink lights and gently angling Naruto's face toward him. Naruto's toes wiggled against the ground. Where should he place his gaze? Should he look at the ceiling? The mirror? Directly into Sasuke's eyes? Why the hell did Sasuke still have to be shirtless?

Sasuke started by tending to a gash by Naruto's cheekbone. This was the most obvious damage, but Sasuke believed that he could prevent it from scarring if he was careful. He softly rubbed Neosporin into the cut with a Q-tip, ignoring Naruto's wincing. He placed a butterfly closure on it, scrunching the skin together. As abrasive as Sasuke could sometimes be, Sasuke worked quickly and gently. Perhaps he would make a good doctor after all, despite a probable lack of bedside manner.

Sasuke now rubbed Neosporin in to the scrapes around Naruto's bruised eye, checking the skin for infection or inflammation. As Sasuke dabbed on the Neosporin, his long bang bounced against his bottom lip. Naruto was overwhelmed by the temptation to lean forward and kiss him. The thought came quickly and took Naruto completely by surprise. Naruto bit his lip in nervousness, wondering if his thoughts could be broadcasted against his will. Sasuke would knit his brows when a piece of flesh was being stubborn, or when he found wounds that were worse than he had thought. Naruto smiled, feeling thoroughly content through every pang and pinch.

Finally, Sasuke had finished Naruto's face. After Sasuke catered to a few of the deeper scratches on Naruto's forearms, Naruto leaned to get back on his feet.

Sasuke interrupted, "There was one other wound...on your back."

Sasuke noticed a look of shock on Naruto’s face which lasted only an instant. Naruto smirked, grinning at Sasuke mischievously, "When'd you notice that one, hm?"

Sasuke opened his mouth to respond, appearing frustrated. His retort was delayed.

"How could I not look over with all of that horrible noise you were making? I was afraid you were having some kind of attack."

Sasuke pouted irately as Naruto chuckled. He was told he could be gullible, but even Naruto could see through such a feeble excuse. Naruto did his best impression of his new roommate, pulling his blond locks down to make artificial bangs.

"Don't stress. I take it as a compliment."

Naruto winked at Sasuke, who only scoffed.

"Just turn around, jackass."

Still chuckling triumphantly to himself, Naruto turned around, now facing the wall. Sasuke lifted up Naruto's shirt, the blond wincing as the fabric parted from the sensitive skin. Sasuke rested his forearm on Naruto's upper back, leaning down to get a closer look. The steam and foggy shower doors had previously obstructed his view. The wound was red and inflamed, even deeper than he had suspected. It was possible that Naruto hadn't even tended to it at all.

"What the hell did he do to you?" Sasuke demanded, his tone lethal

Naruto began to laugh nervously.

"Oh, he was just crazy."

Sasuke froze.

"No. Tell me what he did. Did he have a knife?"

There was a heavy silence between them. Naruto tucked his head down.

"Yeah."

Sasuke sighed, resting his head on his forearm.

"Fucking Christ, Naruto…"

Naruto frowned, feeling Sasuke's worried breath mist down on his bare back.

"He just grazed me!” Naruto intercepted, a little bit of laughter in his voice, hoping he could calm Sasuke. “He didn't want to hurt me. It only happened because…"

Sasuke grit his teeth, his blood beginning to boil. Itachi was right below them, so he had to keep his voice steady. God was it tempting to shout.

Sasuke whispered into Naruto’s ear, his voice laden with poison, "You could have fucking died, Naruto. He could have _killed_ you. And the more you make excuses for that pathetic son of a bitch, the more I want to find him and take his guts from his stomach to the fucking sidewalk."

Naruto craned his head around to face the younger male, eyes hitching with uncertainty. This wasn't Sasuke. Sasuke could be contrary sometimes, but deep down, he was kind, generous, and safe. He was a good person.

Naruto would have normally dismissed such a statement as idle venting. But something in the way Sasuke had spoken… Naruto wondered if he was being serious. The scars on Sasuke’s chest, abdomen, and arms… How did he get them? The reason they had met in the first place had been a violent fight. Perhaps he didn't know Sasuke as much as he thought he did. Perhaps he wasn't as gentle as Naruto would have liked to believe.

"You done staring, Uzumaki?"

Naruto's eyes, innocent and surprised, made Sasuke feel almost guilty. He had, mostly, spoken out anger. But he did want to find this man. He did want to make him pay. He would figure something out in those regards tomorrow, but Naruto was his first priority now.

Sasuke dabbed Neosporin into the crevices of the injury, hoping that it would be enough. Should he be taking Naruto to the clinic after all? Sasuke decided to use some larger butterfly closures, getting up and scrounging the medicine cabinet. He sat behind Naruto, who had yet to make a sound.

Sasuke's body was still tense, his anger with the situation not yet abated. A deep frown on his face, his thumb slowly traced the other deep scar running along Naruto's side; it was an old one. He ran his palm down the flat of Naruto's bare back smoothly, almost a caress.

Naruto blushed at the intimacy of the situation, glad that he was no longer facing Sasuke. Sasuke had never been good with words in such situations, but his touch did the talking for him. It told Naruto that Sasuke was afraid. It told him that if he didn't take better care of himself, one of these scars might end up being the last.

Sasuke bowed his head forward now, his forehead pressed against Naruto’s upper back. He rested there for a moment. Sasuke wasn't sure why he did this, but it seemed fitting. Naruto held his breath unwittingly, an ache in his chest reminding him to breathe. His palms tingled at the contact of Sasuke's face on his bare back, and he felt sick to his stomach. This probably meant little to Sasuke, but it threw Naruto's world into chaos.

"Naruto, be more careful."

The words, though authoritative, held a vulnerability that Sasuke did a poor job at concealing. It frightened him how quickly Naruto was becoming important to him. And he knew all too well how quickly these important people could be taken from you. He did not want to lose Naruto.

Naruto sighed. Sasuke didn't understand. There was no "being careful" for him. This was his life, plain and simple. But still, he could not remember the last time someone had expressed such concern over him. What was more, Sasuke did not seem the type to express such concern towards anyone. He was profoundly honored by Sasuke's touches, by his worry, and by his compassion. His heartbeat raced, and he felt truly content. Through a deep blush, Naruto smiled.

After Sasuke sterilized the knife wound, he held the skin together, pinning either side of the gash with the butterfly closures. The flesh was already partially healed, which made binding it difficult. He noted Naruto's muscles tensing in pain, and he worked as quickly as he could without compromising his work. Sasuke would wait for the next day to see if his first aid would suffice. He rolled gauze over it, using medical tape to fasten it to tan skin.

"Alright. Wait here."

Sasuke didn't bother to put his shirt back on, opening the door and eyeing the hallway. Sasuke cocked his head to indicate that the hallway was empty. Naruto and he lightly scrambled to his bedroom. Sasuke had Naruto stay behind when he walked downstairs, placing a frozen pizza in the oven. Itachi approached Sasuke, a pen behind his ear.

"Hey, Sasuke. What are you up to?"

It was at that unfortunate moment that Sasuke finally made a connection. The shower had just been running...yet his hair wasn't wet. How could he have disregarded this? He felt like punching himself. And of course, his brother... His brother, the prodigy wouldn't miss a thing. It was time to think of an explanation...quickly.

"Other than having Sharpies break in my lap, not much."

This would do, right? Thank god Itachi hadn't seen his outfit before coming in. Itachi chuckled, ruffling Sasuke's hair. Sasuke merely rolled his eyes.

"Nice one. I was wondering why you were in there so long."

He was grateful that Itachi hadn't even been home for the majority of Naruto's shower. The alibi stuck. Sasuke opened the freezer and skimmed over the cooking instructions. It wasn't often he ate pizza, so he had to refresh his memory.

"I was only scrubbing my skin raw."

Itachi shook his head, smiling.

"I didn't think you were so clumsy. So, how was school?"

As Sasuke responded, he slid the pizza into the oven, setting the timer. Itachi never used to ask him these questions, and it still felt unnatural to him. It seemed like he was trying too hard to make the transition from Sasuke's brother to Sasuke's caretaker. So he would ask him all the things their mother did, and when Sasuke misbehaved, he'd show Sasuke the same stern face as did their father. However, Sasuke sincerely doubted that he could've done any better in Itachi's situation.

"Uneventful. How was work?"

Itachi sighed, but he quickly made an effort to return the smile to his face. Itachi did this frequently, Sasuke noted. It was as if he felt guilty ever complaining to Sasuke, and the tendency became much more pronounced once Itachi became the head of the household.

"It was fine."

Sasuke frowned, leaning back against the wall.

"You can be honest with me."

Itachi edged in towards Sasuke, pressing his pointer and middle finger against his brows, which Sasuke did not realize had become tense. The familiar gesture reassured him, though he still felt frustrated at being evaded.

"Don't worry about me, Sasuke. You have your own troubles."

It wasn't that he wanted to force his way into Itachi's business. He just wanted to be regarded as Itachi's brother and equal rather than his child. Why would losing their parents have to change their relationship? Regardless, Sasuke allowed this to placate him.

"You're the one who's worrying. I'm fine, 'Tachi. I always am."

Itachi didn't appear to buy that for a second, but still, the corners of his lips rose as he addressed Sasuke.

"If you must know, I got yelled at today for a colleague's mistake. My boss sent me home early because he wanted me out of his sight, in his own words."

Sasuke was glad that Itachi had shared this with him, but the treatment Itachi had been receiving at work did annoy him. This wasn't rare for Itachi. From what Sasuke had heard, his boss was a total asshole. Itachi only kept the job because they desperately needed a steady stream of income, and the job market was abysmal.

"Maybe you should start looking for another job. He always pulls this crap on you."

Itachi frowned and shook his head.

"The pay is great, and it's giving us both health insurance. It's even waiving my tuition. It would be crazy to switch."

Sasuke glanced up at Itachi. He was always making sacrifices for them. He was more than lucky to have Itachi around, but he hated to see him so unhappy.

"After my sixteenth, I'll get my own job. Then you won't have to work for that son of a bitch anymore."

Itachi beamed back at Sasuke, finding his determination thoroughly endearing. Yet he still shook his finger, tsk'ing.

"Enough with the dirty mouth."

They used to talk to each other like that all the time. Itachi's mouth wasn't as dirty as Sasuke's, but neither made an effort to clean up their speech around the other. But now, suddenly... Now that Itachi was Sasuke's parent, the man must've found it his responsibility.

"Fine, whatever."

Itachi placed a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. Itachi had always been the more physical of the two, but from Itachi, Sasuke didn't mind it.

"Thank you, Sasuke. You're a good brother."

Sasuke shrugged, feigning apathy. It was humiliating for Sasuke to admit how praise from Itachi could uplift his entire night, humiliating to admit how much he admired him. And he wondered if Itachi was really right about that. Was he really a good brother?

"If I'm going to get any sleep tonight, I should start preparing for my case studies next week."

Sasuke nodded. He realized that Itachi would shut himself in the office until the early hours of Saturday morning. Then, before Sasuke even woke up, Itachi would make the nearly two hour long trek to UCLA to join his study groups, after which he'd meet with all of the other teacher's assistants and grade some papers.

"G'night."

He usually saw Itachi for a handful of hours every week at best. Those few hours that he did spend with Itachi, he was generally unable to do anything with Sasuke due to either fatigue or these pesky stomach bugs he kept catching. Sometimes he didn't even come home at all, camping out in the school library or a friend's house to avoid rush hour the next day. As lonely as this made him feel, Sasuke knew that he was getting the better end of the bargain.

"Goodnight, Sasuke."


	10. Chapter 10

Sasuke didn't have to wait long for the pizza to finish. As he trudged up the stairs, he heard Itachi yell from below.

"Sasuke, you better not be bringing that pizza upstairs. You know you're not allowed to have food in your room."

Sasuke disregarded the request, pretending not to hear Itachi. After all, he couldn't exactly bring Naruto down to the kitchen. He heard Itachi groan below him.

"Why do I even bother..."

Sasuke smirked. It was a silly rule, really, but their mother had always been strict about it. Sasuke never made messes, though he wasn't sure he could say the same thing about his room's new occupant. Lights seemed to ignite behind bright sapphire eyes when the door was opened, revealing his new friend with a pan full of freshly baked pizza.

"Make one spill, and we're done for. You're eating like a civilized human being this time."

"Well, what else would I do?" Naruto asked innocently,

Sasuke handed Naruto a plate and a napkin, sitting down next to him and facing the television.

"I wonder," he responded sarcastically.

Naruto quickly took a large bite of the pizza, holding his hand over his mouth and stifling his agony.

"What's this cheese made out of, magma? Shit."

Sasuke meanwhile patiently waited for his own slice to cool. He flicked on the television, quickly settling on House. Naruto had never watched the show before, but he seemed to find it amusing nonetheless. Of course, Naruto had to keep his laughs very quiet, and his difficulty in doing so was readily apparent.

Before the commercial break hit, Naruto had already finished three slices of pizza. Sasuke said nothing. He knew that Naruto could stand to be teased, but he didn't want him to feel guilty about eating his food. He was glad that Naruto was getting his fill; he wanted his friend to get stronger. Eventually, only one slice of pizza remained. Sasuke had hardly finished his own.

Naruto stared down at the empty plate sheepishly, "You should take this one. I ate like...the whole thing."

Sasuke shook his head, "I'm not hungry."

This, actually, wasn't a lie. Despite Sasuke's quick growth in recent years and frequent gym trips, he tended to have a modest appetite. Besides, he preferred healthier food.

"Pft. No wonder you're so thin!"

Sasuke raised a perfect brow.

" _You're_ getting on _me_ for being thin?"

Naruto didn't wait to grab the last piece of pizza, taking a large bite. His speech was muffled by carbs and cheese.

"I'm... _I'm_ a work in progress. It won't take me long to put on my weight, because unlike some people," Naruto took another bite and pointed at Sasuke, "I know how to eat."

Sasuke smiled at Naruto crookedly. "It won't take me long," he had said. Thus indicating that he was planning on sticking around.

"I can see that."

Sasuke ventured downstairs another time to do the dishes, choosing to stay in his room for the remainder of the evening. They stayed up late, watching whatever they could find on television in his room. Sasuke showed Naruto a few new viral videos on Youtube that he had missed. They had watched nyan cat for a solid five minutes before Sasuke laid down the law and closed the relevant tab. Naruto was thoroughly disappointed.

Watching TV and viral videos with a friend didn't exactly sound captivating. Yet it was something else to show these things to someone so genuinely enthusiastic and appreciative. It made them feel fresh and new, even if Naruto's intensely chipper attitude sometimes annoyed Sasuke.

It was Sasuke's decision when they finally decided to go to bed. Unfortunately, Itachi's sleeping bag was in the garage. He couldn't have Naruto bringing out his own supplies, which were far too dusty. His bed was large enough to fit the two of them, but that... Perhaps it was a bad idea. He took his thick comforter off, folding it up by the closet and lying an extra pillow out, along with a sheet.

"Remember the drill. If Itachi asks to come in, quietly move into the closet, and leave the comforter by the bed."

Naruto wrapped his arm around Sasuke's shoulders, leaning inward with his idiot grin.

"So, do you normally store hobos in your closet, or am I just that special?"

"Don't get full of yourself," Sasuke warned.

Naruto smirked, soon after frowning as thoughts ushered his mind elsewhere.

"Hey, Sasuke, how long do you think this is gonna work?"

Sasuke sighed, the corners of his own lips declining.

"I can't imagine more than a few days."

Sasuke knew that they had to think up a game plan, but Sasuke was too tired for that now, and Naruto was probably still overwhelmed. Naruto nodded as the Uchiha pointed towards Naruto's rather shoddy setup.

"We'll figure a better setup tomorrow, when Itachi's gone."

Naruto lay down and wrapped himself in the comforter, his small blond head looking almost comical poking out of the billowy sheet.

"Pft, what are you talking about? This is just fine."

Sasuke would let this go for now, but he would not allow Naruto to sleep on the floor for any longer than he had to. Without his comforter, Sasuke curled tightly into himself for warmth. It was a particularly cold night, making it difficult for Sasuke to fall asleep. However, just as he had begun to drift off, there was a whisper from the other side of the room.

"Sasuke."

Not wanting to lose whatever modest progress he'd made in finally losing consciousness, Sasuke ignored him.

"Sasuke!"

Rubbing his eyes with his forearm, Sasuke groaned. Dammit, now he'd never get back to sleep.

"What?"

Naruto whispered, "I have to pee."

How helpless was this kid?

"So?"

"Your brother keeps roaming the halls. What if I get caught?"

Sasuke paused for a moment. This was a very precarious situation. Just one wrong move could give them away, but the majority of the time they’d be alone in the house anyway. Sasuke grabbed the newspaper on his bed stand and tossed it to Naruto.

"Here, take care of it."

"Very funny, asshole. Now, if you don't want your room to smell like piss, figure something out."

Sasuke was surprised by how silent Naruto managed to be as he left Sasuke’s room for the bathroom. He never would have thought that Naruto would be capable of such. He returned and wrapped himself in Sasuke’s comforter, too exhausted to keep his eyes open for long. As Naruto finally drifted into sleep, Sasuke went over everything that had happened today. It had been tiring, both physically and emotionally.

Sasuke's emotional side tended to be rather dormant, so the change in pace left Sasuke a little unsettled. He was glad to have Naruto next to him, where he knew he was safe. He didn't have to worry about him now; that much had been attended to.

But someone still had taken Naruto’s life into his hands. He injured Naruto, violated him, could have even killed him. Meanwhile, Sasuke had been miles away, completely oblivious and unable to do anything to stop it. That son of a bitch was no worse off for it. It was Naruto who had paid. But Sasuke could certainly fix that. Tomorrow, he would have his revenge.

By the time Naruto woke up on Saturday morning, Sasuke had already spent three hours at his desk studying. Naruto had easily slept twelve hours, which was something he had clearly needed. He was surprised to be greeted with the scent of Sasuke's house and the sight of carpet as his eyes opened, his memory soon after filling in the gaps. He could hardly believe what had transpired. A sleepy grin rested on his lips. It felt wonderful to have a roof over his head, with Sasuke no less. The entire house smelled like him.

"Good morning, princess," Sasuke teased, not bothering to look over from his textbook.

Naruto squinted as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, yawning.

"Good morning, bastard."

They sat for several moments silently as Naruto became more alert. Naruto noted that Sasuke had already dressed himself.

"Anything on the agenda today?"

Sasuke nodded, responding curtly, "Yeah. Now get dressed."

Sasuke handed Naruto a pair of his skinny jeans and one of his T-shirts.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

Sasuke knew that if he explained the situation to Naruto from the get-go, he would have never agreed to it. But ever since the moment he had woken up, he had patiently waited for Naruto to arise so that he could find the man who had attacked him.

Naruto grunted unknowingly, stripping down in his corner of the room without announcement. Sasuke averted his eyes, finding the behavior odd but not bothering to mention it. Over the ruffling of clothing, he heard Naruto whine.

"God, these pants are so tight! Why would you ever wear something so uncomfortable?"

He knew that the pants weren't too small on Naruto. Perhaps he was just accustomed to pants several sizes too large.

"Stop whining."

Naruto picked at the denim, which snugly adhered to his skin.

"No! How do you even have room for your dick? What are you packing under there, an acorn?"

“What am I packing?” Sasuke smirked. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

He could’ve sworn he saw Naruto’s face turn a shade pinker.

"Anyhow, I fail to see how your inability to wear properly sized clothing has anything to do with my dick."

Naruto zipped his plants, and Sasuke glanced over at him. More and more, he was coming to like the sight of Naruto in his clothing. It looked good on him, and it satisfied his protective streak.

"But you never answered my question, 'Suke," he sing-songed.

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, Naruto. It’s like a baby’s arm holding an apple. Now let’s go.”

Sasuke had to explain things to Naruto on the bus ride to Eighth and J. He assured Naruto that the purpose of this trip was not to attack him. Strictly speaking, he was being honest. He didn't want Naruto to be in the middle of something like that, and he didn't want him interfering. No, he would wait until he was alone. He did not want to put Naruto at risk.

Naruto, however, had his reservations.

"Sasuke, are you sure you're not going to try to hurt this guy?"

Sasuke's brows furrowed. He could sidestep the truth, but he could not blatantly lie to Naruto. At least not about something like this. Naruto deserved better than that.

"Don't worry about it."

Naruto frowned, nudging Sasuke's upper arm.

"You're avoiding my question."

Sasuke sighed, wishing Naruto would leave the matter rest.

"I'm not going to try anything funny with you around."

Naruto picked up on the last part of Sasuke's sentence in an instant.

"Not with me around, hm? So are you saying that you're going to try to hurt him when I'm not around?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes as the bus jerked to a stop, several occupants coming and going.

"Why do you care? The guy's a piece of trash."

Naruto glared at Sasuke.

"So you are. And you tried to get me to play a hand in it."

Sasuke leaned back into the seat, not appreciating the disapproval in Naruto's tone.

"That's better than just letting him go so that he can do the same thing to some other kid. People like that need to be taught a lesson," Sasuke reasoned.

Sasuke was being honest with himself. He knew that this was only a part of the reason he wanted to do this, but it was still a relevant consideration nonetheless.

"That's not your place, Sasuke."

Sasuke voice was becoming frustrated as it rebutted, "Like hell it's not my place. Someone's got to make him pay."

Naruto clawed Sasuke's upper arm, tearing Sasuke sideways so that he was forced to face Naruto. His eyes were a furious blue.

"Sasuke, how do you think it would look when you're arrested for picking a fight with a random bum, hm? If I remember right, you missed juvie by a hair. What happened to you wanting to be a doctor? Why do you even bother to study so fucking much if you're going to pull stunts like this? I don't think the legal system is going to be too impressed by your bastard brand of vigilante justice."

Sasuke stared back at Naruto speechlessly. Other than the last part, he would never have expected something so intelligent to leave Naruto's mouth. As much as the words peeved him, he knew that Naruto was being logical. Perhaps he had underestimated Naruto.

That being the case, he had already considered these things. He knew that this was a risky situation, and somewhere in the back of his mind, he even admitted that this was a bad idea. Yet he hadn't wanted to kill the guy. Really just rough him up when the time was right, leave him some scars to remember this by, and anonymously turn him over to the law.

"And that's assuming that you win the fight. Who's to say you don't end up like me?"

"I'm not gonna end up like you. I know what I'm doing."

He did. He would come armed, just in case. He'd gotten into fights before, several of which had become knife fights. He had scars to prove it. Of course, his contenders were hardly even legal adults, but Sasuke ignored that fact.

"Oh?" Naruto asked as he cocked his head at Sasuke, appearing thoroughly unimpressed. "I wonder about that."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Naruto smirked.

"Sasuke, you're fifteen. I know you're pissed, but use your fucking brain, okay?"

Sasuke sighed, his body trembling ever so slightly with rage. He had wanted this. No, he had needed it. And his age... Again, his age bit him in the ass, standing in his way when he tried to do what needed to be done. He needed to make this man pay personally. How could someone do this to Naruto? Naruto suffered. Naruto could have died. Sasuke could've been alone, all over again. Just looking at Naruto's bruised face made him want to break bones.

He'd been like this for the past year. Apathetic and calm on the surface, but with a furious core which never seemed to extinguish. It found its various outlets but was never placated. He had once been a much more rational person. Naruto had never seemed like the particularly mature sort, but something about the way he handled himself now made Sasuke feel juvenile in comparison. Sometimes he forgot that he was the younger of the two.

"It's not right."

When Sasuke spoke, his voice shook.

"I have to make it right."

Seeing Sasuke anything other than composed and fully aloof seemed odd to Naruto. Naruto tried to ignore his frustration and see the situation from Sasuke's point of view. He was again shocked at how much Sasuke seemed to care about him. It was either that, or the guy had a nasty case of anger management issues. As frustrating as he could be, Sasuke was a deeper person than Naruto had given him credit for.

"You're mad because you care about me, right?"

Sasuke had no response for that. It was true, but he didn't want to admit to it in words. All the same, his silence spoke for him.

"Well, maybe the reason that I don't want you to do this is because I care about you. You're my only friend, and when I say only, I mean it. Shit, Sasuke... If you got yourself hurt, imprisoned, or even killed over me, I don't know what I'd do."

Sasuke stared down at his lap as the bus jostled his frame. What was this like for Naruto? No wonder he was so angry. Perhaps if he was really interested in protecting Naruto, he should pay more attention to things like this.

"So please, just give up on this."

Whatever Naruto had said appeared to have gotten through to Sasuke, as the boy lowered his head in silence for a full minute after his speech. He thought about his options before crafting his response.

"I'm not going to let this guy off the hook. I meant it when I said I didn't want this happening to anyone else. So if you're going to talk me out of my 'bastard brand of vigilante justice,' we're at least reporting him to the cops. And following up on it."

Naruto smiled at Sasuke, his face returning to its normally carefree expression. Sasuke took note that Naruto could actually get pretty intense when angry.

"Okay, deal."

Naruto extended his hand.

"But I want you to promise me that you're not going to try to punish him yourself."

Sasuke sighed, staring out the bus window. He hadn't planned on doing that anyhow, but when it was phrased like this, it seemed so binding.

"Naruto, I give you my word that I will leave this douchebag's fate up to the law without interference. Now, would you like me to issue an affidavit?"

They shook on it, like a business agreement or something of the sort. But for Sasuke, that was it. Once he had given his word, there wasn't even an issue to consider. As much as he would still like to rip Naruto's assailant apart, he tried his best to let go of the matter. He had little success, but he hoped that it would get easier as the days passed. He would do this for himself, and he'd do it for Naruto.

Given that the pair of them were already fully dressed and on the bus, it seemed a waste to go home immediately. Sasuke took Naruto grocery shopping, picking up a few of Naruto's favorite treats despite his rather predictable protestations. He also bought Naruto a book of crossword puzzles after finagling Naruto's interest out of him. On the way home, they stopped by the police station to report the man in question.

Upon arriving home, they replaced the comforter with Itachi's sleeping bag. They stored Naruto's sleeping bag in the corner of the garage where Itachi's had been and concealed Itachi's sleeping bag every morning. Sasuke was thankful he had a lock on his door.

Naruto didn't complain when Sasuke spent hours upon hours studying. As had been his custom, he entertained himself. He would occasionally take walks, but more frequently, he would immerse himself with the computer, the television, or Sasuke's Droid smartphone. As a child, he had generally been more interested in playing outside than in things like televisions or computers. However, he had grown to miss them in their absence.

Despite Naruto's general clumsiness, his use of Sasuke's gadgets proved uneventful other than a single occasion. Suddenly, the mouse stopped working. Naruto had noticed a spare mouse in the upper compartment of Sasuke's desk shelf. Opening the shelf, he blindly rummaged for a mouse, but his hands instead grasped a long pill bottle.

Sasuke was showering, so despite the nagging of his conscience, Naruto glanced at the label. It was something called "sertraline." There was a small line of text underneath the bolded title, reading "Also known as: Zoloft."

Instinctively looking over his shoulder, Naruto searched the medication name; it was an antidepressant. Resting his hand on his hand, he recounted his interactions with Sasuke. Sasuke didn't seem depressed, but then again, it was difficult to tell considering how stoic Sasuke was. Naruto understood that clinical depression didn't have to be a result of someone's external situations. Nonetheless, it dismayed Naruto that Sasuke was facing this, whatever it was.

Sasuke noticed a decline in Naruto's mood Sunday evening. However, Naruto would not admit to this and made his own inefficient attempts to mask it. Perhaps too quickly, Sunday night arrived. Naruto clearly heard Sasuke's deep breathing from the other side of the room. Naruto had been attempting sleep for nearly two hours and felt not a hair closer.

Naruto enjoyed Sasuke's company. Even if they hardly spoke to each other due to Sasuke's incessant studying, his simple presence reassured him. He wasn't looking forward to being alone all day in an unfamiliar house. Something about it made him anxious and restless. However, given the situation, he was sure he could get used to it.

Giving up on sleep, Naruto discreetly walked over to Sasuke's desk to grab his phone. Since the light from the computer would often wake Sasuke up, this wasn’t an option for Naruto now. Swiping Sasuke’s hone, he noticed that one of Sasuke's friends, “Karin,” had sent him a text.

It read, "hey sasuke ;)"

Naruto frowned. That bitch sent him a sideways winky face. He may not be too proficient with technology, but he'd been told about the sideways winky face and all of its implications. He hated to admit how jealous this made him feel.

The message had been sent about a half hour ago, so the girl was possibly still awake. Naruto had wanted to become more involved in Sasuke's life. This was one of Sasuke's friends. (Or at least, in theory.) He'd never met a single one of them, and he wondered if he ever would. He had always been so segregated from the majority of Sasuke's life. It felt almost eerie to be holding a device that could put him in direct communication with it. This, combined with his boredom, proved to be a doomed combination.

Naruto typed back to Karin on the touch pad: "helloo. so whats ops/?"

He'd hit send before he could correct his message. Dammit, he hated these touch screens. They made him feel like he had sausages for fingers, and he could never press the right button. He grimaced, and his face had no time to shift expressions before another text popped up on the screen.

This girl had texted Sasuke's phone thirty minutes ago, and it was the night before Monday. Did this girl just live attached to her phone? How fast could her thumbs have possibly moved? He had underestimated the typical high school-aged female.

"sasuke, r u drunk or something ?"

This was it. He was actually communicating with one of Sasuke's friends! It was almost as good as meeting them! He sucked his tongue thoughtfully before responding with "no."

Again, in a hair of a second, the screen flashed again.

"so its really nice to here from u. sometimes i get the feeling i just annoy u"

Naruto paused, staring at the screen utterly perplexed. This was the way Sasuke operated, right? He acted aloof around the people he cared about. At least that's what he'd always done around him. And if Karin was an added contact on his phone, and she was texting him, she had to be his friend. Therefore, she probably wasn't an annoyance. So he would respond appropriately.

"of curse not"

Damned touch screens.

"so, whatcha doin?"

The blond looked over his back, the less that savory thoughts in his mind instinctively making him paranoid. He gave a wicked little smirk before responding.

"youy kno, just jockin da bithcez and doin my sweat thang baby"

What harm could it do? Sasuke could always pass it off as a prank from a friend. Simply the image of Sasuke saying something like that was too rich for words. Naruto had spent a couple seconds trying to recall whether the word in question was spelled "sweat" or "sweet", but ultimately he could only go with his instinct.

"wow, hawt ;)"

"watcha doin now hotstuff?"

There was hardly a split second until another response arrived.

"o just chillin, sui is being stupid. u?"

Naruto pondered his next response with great difficulty. What would he say now? Figuring that his damage was done, he typed his final message and powered the phone back off.

"cool. i have to go now bye"

Naruto was laughing to himself as he attempted to sleep, thoroughly amused by the mischief he had wrought. It made him feel just a little less pessimistic about Monday morning. He glanced at Sasuke, sleeping on his back with his eyes closed lightly, quiet and long breaths. He already couldn’t wait to see Sasuke when he came home tomorrow afternoon.


	11. Chapter 11

With a groan, Sasuke swiped the alarm notification off of his phone without looking, out of sheer habit. The Red Hot Chili Pepper’s “By the Way” filled Sasuke’s room for only a couple seconds, and Naruto did not rouse. Sasuke quickly forced himself out of bed and dressed himself, careful not to awaken Naruto. Fully dressed and at his bedroom door, Sasuke glanced back at his bedroom, Naruto rolled up tight in his sleeping bag.

He’d go back to school, and there, everything would be like it had been last week. Somehow, even though Naruto could only stay at his house temporarily, it felt as though something big had changed. But here, Naruto did not exist. No one, not even his closest friends, even knew his name.

Karin ran into Sasuke in the hall after first period, giggling as she smiled at him and cast him a wave. Sasuke perked a brow, paying the girl no mind and walking right past her. Karin was acting a little flirty today, even by her standards.

When lunch came around, Suigetsu and Karin were the first to sit down, joined by Sasuke and Juugo, then finally Kabuto. However, Karin didn’t even wait for Sasuke’s ass to hit the seat before she started yammering at him.

“So Sasuke, I got your texts last night. I didn’t know you felt that way about me.”

Sasuke deadpanned, staring at the redhead in confusion.

“What?”

“You know,” she laughed, “last night?”

“Haven’t the foggiest,” Sasuke grumbled, not very optimistic about the road this conversation was going down.

Karin giggled yet again, swatting her hand at Sasuke.

“You flirt. You always do this hot and cold thing. You act all distant towards me because you know it drives me crazy. But you don’t have to act anymore!  I don’t know what you think, but trust me, you already have me.”

Sasuke rested his head on his left palm, taking a bite of salad as he tentatively regarded the female.

“I _think_ you’re delusional.”

“Oh stop. You know I’d let you do anything to me,” Karin teased.

Sasuke stopped chewing abruptly, motioning to Karin as he addressed Suigetsu.

“Suigetsu, are you really going to let your girlfriend talk to me like that?  Have a little pride.”

Suigetsu shook his head, raising both palms to Sasuke to indicate that he was more than comfortable with the matter.

“Nah, man. I saw the texts, and you were totally flirting. But it’s cool. I mean hell, what if we just had a threeway?”

Sasuke momentarily choked on his salad, clearing his throat as Karin stopped dead in her tracks.

“Suigetsu, I have never loved you as much as I love you now.”

This had gone on long enough. Sasuke slid his phone out of his backpack, hiding it in his lap so that a roving teacher wouldn’t confiscate it from him. He waited for it to power on.

“I’m so excited!” Karin practically squealed as she clapped her hands rapidly.

“Awww yeah,” Suigetsu affirmed, leaning into his girlfriend with a grin.

Juugo chuckled under his breath, leaning back in his chair.

“Suigetsu, I never knew you swung that way.”

Sasuke’s phone had finally powered on. He navigated to the “sent” folder, selected, and...

“Oh my god.”

Sasuke hadn’t intended to speak those words aloud and was surprised at hearing them.

That _asshole_. He should’ve expected as much. Sasuke knew a prankster when he saw one. Naruto probably didn’t realize what a fine mess he had gotten Sasuke into. As strong as their denial was, those two would take any bait. Hell, Sasuke had indicated interest. By Karin’s standards, this must have meant as much as a solicitation for sex – or a threeway, as the situation stood.

Of course Naruto had to find a way to follow him to school _somehow_. Typical.

Unaware of Sasuke’s present revelation, Suigetsu smirked as he replied to Juugo, “Not generally, but for a pretty face like Sasuke’s?  Unf. Fucking UNF, I’d take that on my dick any day.”

Sasuke growled at Suigetsu, endeavoring to silence the idiot before people heard him, “These aren’t my texts.”

Karin rolled her eyes with a smile on her face, “What did I just finish saying?  Stop acting difficult.”

Sasuke shook his head.

“It’s not an act. My friend did this as a prank.”

Karin smirked, a “you and I both know” sort of expression on her face, “Because you always have friends over at the crack of dawn on a Monday.”

Sasuke sighed, again pulling up one of the most repugnant texts.

_“youy kno, just jockin da bithcez and doin my sweat thang baby”_

Sasuke internally shuddered before handing the phone over to Karin and Suigetsu.

“I have a 4.8 GPA. Don’t you think I could spell the word ‘sweet’?”

Suigetsu scrunched his eyebrows, looking surprised.

“It’s spelled wrong?”

Sasuke groaned, beginning to lose his patience. He could no longer count how many times he asked himself this question, but why did he bother with these people?  What else could he say to these two to shake them of their delusions?

Juugo took the phone from Karin and Suigetsu.

“Let me see this.”

He scrolled through the texts for a while. Juugo had always been a slow reader, but after a while, he began to chuckle.

“This doesn’t even remotely look like something Sasuke would say.”

Suigetsu shook his hands, speaking loudly now.

“Nooo, no. Kabuto, look at this.”

Suigetsu grabbed the phone and shoved it at Kabuto.

“No.”

Karin lifted up her hand in her aggravation, “Aw, come on!”

Kabuto shook his head, leaning back from the group.

“I am not getting involved in your ridiculous teenage drama.”

Sasuke frowned while sipping his diet Coke, only now beginning to consume his meal again.

“It’s not drama. I just want these two fuckwits to get a clue and leave me alone.”

Kabuto sighed.

“Fine, if it will get you all to shut up.”

Kabuto’s eyes flipped back upwards in a split second, regarding Karin and Suigetsu with a look of dry annoyance.

“You both are fucking morons. There’s no way this could be Sasuke.”

“Thank you. Now let it go,” Sasuke commanded, glaring at the two. He’d had enough.

Suigetsu sighed.

“Fine. Like I even cared about it anyway.”

Karin made no such pretense, pouting at the food in front of her and stubbornly refusing to eat.

“Now that the lot of you have had your fun, I have some news for you. I’m having a party on Friday for my twenty-first birthday.”

Suigetsu raised his brows, “I forget how old you are sometimes. But twenty-one?  Fucking nice, man!”

Suigetsu raised his hand for a high five, which Kabuto ignored. He apparently didn’t appreciate attention being drawn to the fact that he was a twenty-one-year-old high school student.

“So, are you jackasses coming or not?”

Juugo nodded, Karin and Suigetsu giving a more enthusiastic response. Sasuke paused to consider it for a while, Kabuto staring at him impatiently until he nodded. True these parties were getting tiring, but it was his friend’s twenty-first birthday party, after all. He’d just keep it low key.

Sasuke suffered through the rest of the day, occasionally fantasizing about wringing a certain idiot’s neck. Well... Even Sasuke had to admit that it had been a little amusing, but like hell was he going to let Naruto know that.

On the way home, Sasuke and his friends stopped by a store just several blocks out of the way. Sasuke didn’t have time to make a large outing of it due to the large amounts of homework he had due the next day, but he figured it couldn’t hurt. He ended up stealing a pair of discounted Ed Hardy sunglasses, which he told none of his friends. Anything nicer had a corded security device around it that Sasuke would need to put a lot of time and effort into removing. Again, he stole without incident, his heart skipping a few beats when walking through the censors. The feeling faded quickly, but at least he really did like the sunglasses. It was nothing he could ordinarily afford.

He placed the sunglasses on the kitchen counter as he entered the door, trudging up to the bedroom and plunking his backpack down. The first words out of his mouth:

“Very funny, dipshit.”

Naruto cackled, pointing at Sasuke. His belly was pressed on Sasuke’s bed, the blond facing the door. So finally, his scheming had come to fruition.

“You noticed already?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“I had no choice. I had two people clinging all over me half the lunch period thanks to you.”

Naruto raised wheat brows in disbelief.

“Just because of those texts?”

Sasuke sighed deeply, plunking down on the bed next to Naruto.

“You have no idea how the female mind can work.”

Naruto scrunched his nose.

“Dude, girls are weird.”

Another sigh.

“And you happened to pick the weirdest one on my entire contacts list. Congratu-fucking-lations.”

Naruto snickered, scooching over to Sasuke.

“I hope I didn’t cause you too much trouble.”

The younger shrugged.

“They’ll get over it.”

“They?”

Sasuke shook his head.

“The girl’s boyfriend. She showed him your texts, and he wanted to have a threeway with me.”

Naruto’s eyes widened in shock, a momentary pause until he cracked up laughing, kicking his legs spastically. A couple snorts escaped.

“Oh my god. I’m sorry, but that’s hilarious. Is this your typical high school life or something?  They never had this on Degrassi.”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at Naruto, who was too deep into the throes of laughter to notice. He wouldn’t get mad. He had something much better in mind.

“Yeah, laugh it up, dumbass. But you better watch your back.”

Naruto moved back from him, his mouth forming an “oh.”

“Is that a threat?”

Sasuke lowered his head to face Naruto, his language dry, “Naruto, my older brother is a prodigy and on occasion, a blatant asshole. I know how to pull a prank.”

Perhaps it was poor judgment to warn Naruto about this, but his pride had its own say in the matter. Besides, Sasuke could be patient when it suited his purposes. He would wait until Naruto thought he had forgotten about the matter and pounce when the time was right.

“I’ll be ready for you then, Mr. Sex.”

Sasuke smirked, already brainstorming.

“But really, how many apps do you have on that damned thing?” Naruto asked, pointing at Sasuke’s phone. “I’ve been playing around with it over the weekend, and like... Do you even use them all?”

Sasuke shook his head.

“A lot of them are preset. I can’t delete them.”

Naruto kicked his feet lackadaisically, balancing his chin on his palms.

“So what’s your favorite app?”

“Google Sky Map,” Sasuke responded, needing hardly a second to think it over.

“Well, that was fast,” Naruto answered, leaning next to Sasuke. “What does it do?”

“You point the phone up at the sky at night. The phone shows some graphics of the stars and the name of whatever constellation you’re pointing at.”

“What?” Naruto asked, completely shocked. “What?!”

Naruto rolled over, a 180 until he was on his back next to Sasuke, peering up at him enthusiastically.

“That’s so cool!  You have to show me now. I won’t let you back out of it.”

“You’re an astronomy buff too?”

Naruto nodded quickly.

“I suppose I could take a study break…” Sasuke trailed off.

Naruto grinned.

Sasuke didn’t have much time to spare tonight. He refused to half-ass his homework, so he worked without breaks for several hours on end. He had always had a long attention span and outstanding discipline when it came to schoolwork. However, it seemed like however far he worked ahead, the work kept on piling up. With his community service, his social life, and all of his honors and advanced placement classes, it was sometimes like trying to row up a waterfall.

He waited until the neighbors’ lights were out. He lost no sleep over this, given that he still had several more hours of work to do. Naruto, again, had politely entertained himself with other endeavors, munching on a bag of Skittles. The words on Sasuke’s page were beginning to blur together, and he found himself rereading the same line three times.

“C’mon. Let’s take that study break.”

Naruto was at his feet in an instant, like a dog being taken on a walk. He’d clearly been eager, though he’d done a decent job of hiding it up until now. Sasuke grabbed a pair of black thin-rimmed glasses, tucking them on his face as he stood.

“I never knew you wore glasses,” Naruto smirked.

“Only for stuff like this,” Sasuke answered with a light smile.

Stars were minute things, after all. Little pinpoints against a sea of black, like being blocked from the light by a dome with pin prick holes. If Sasuke were to truly study them, he needed his vision sharp. Naruto smiled back at Sasuke. The glasses had a way of transforming his entire face, it seemed, making him look several years older. Considering how rarely Sasuke wore them, Naruto assumed that he was one of the few people to see him with them on. As trivial as this seemed, it made him feel special.

Sasuke took them to the front of his house, both of them sitting next to each other on the stoop. Their bodies touched, which was necessary. Sasuke could not very well show Naruto a display on something as compact as a phone screen from a distance.

Sasuke booted the app, pointing his phone at a random constellation. He wasn’t able to get out so much as an utterance before Naruto jerked the phone off him, looking all around the sky with a big grin on his face. Originally taken aback by Naruto’s pushiness, he leaned back and watched Naruto’s beaming face as the light of the screen reflected against it. It was difficult to be annoyed with him when he looked like this, and Sasuke found himself reserved to a mild smile.

“This is awesome!”

Naruto moved the phone around quickly and haphazardly, the graphics blurring as the star patterns spun across the screen.

“What... How does this even work?”

Naruto gestured wildly, the phone’s screen flickering black and white as constellation after constellation flew by with Naruto’s erratic movements.

“The phone has a compass and a GPS, and it knows the time. That’s all you need to know where the constellations will be.”

“How did I not know about this?!”

Sasuke shrugged.

“Well, you didn’t know about nyan cat either.”

“Maybe I was better off that way. Two hours, man...”

“Three,” Sasuke responded flatly.

Naruto chuckled. Getting his fill, he slowed his movements and tilted the phone slightly.

“Oh, Pisces. Isn’t that the fish sign on the zodiac?” Naruto asked, then squinting at the sky. “Ya know, that looks nothing like a fish to me.”

Sasuke leaned back, looking at the screen over Naruto’s shoulder.

“It’s actually two fish, tied together by a string at the end of their tails.”

Naruto opened his mouth slightly, looking skeptical.

“Seriously. It’s a Greek myth. Aphrodite and her son, Eros, turned themselves into fish to escape the fire god. Then the two of them were tied together to make sure they didn’t lose each other during the escape.”

Naruto was silent now, listening to Sasuke speak intently. Sasuke had told Naruto that he was interested in things like chemistry and anatomy, but he had never heard Sasuke actually speak about them. It was rare to see him engaged in much of anything, and it made Naruto feel lucky to see it.

“You’re such a nerd, Sasuke,” he grinned.

The other snickered.

“There are worse things to be.”

“It still doesn’t look like fish,” Naruto added.

“Don’t ask me where they got it.”

Naruto moved the phone over, pointing at the Little Dipper.

“So, why’s the app calling the Little Dipper Ursa Minor?”

“It’s Latin for little bear. The Big Dipper is Ursa Major.”

Naruto scrunched his brows together.

“Big bear?”

The other nodded.

“I can see them being dippers, but not bears.”

Sasuke pointed at the screen.

“It’s kind of a stretch, but the tip of the handle is supposed to be the tail, and the square part is the body.”

“Hmm...” Naruto mused. “I’d rather it be a fox. That works just as well.”

Sasuke squinted through his glasses, taking a better look at the sky.

“The body is too thick for that.”

“But the tail is too long to be a bear. It’s the Little Fox to me now. I’m my own astronomer.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“Alright, it’s a fox. See, there’s Polaris, at the tip... The bear’s...the fox’s tail is the North Star.”

“I thought that sounded familiar.”

Naruto stared at the phone for a while before asking, “So all the constellations move over the year, right?  Then what did sailors do when the North Star went over the horizon?”

Sasuke shook his head.

“No, that’s the thing about Ursa Minor. It’s positioned so that unless you’ve got some bigass mountains, it never goes over the horizon. We’ll lose Ursa Major though in a couple months, over that big hill there.”

Naruto was gazing at Sasuke, utterly content. If he didn’t know better, it seemed like there was a smile on Sasuke’s face, or even in his voice when he talked. It was faint, and he could have well been imagining things. But when he talked about things like this, Sasuke seemed different. It felt like he was learning an entirely new side of him.

Naruto was a little embarrassed about the way he was feeling right now. He felt light, and his heart seemed unable to decide on a tempo. Was he seriously getting flutters in his stomach while looking up at the stars with this guy?  Could he possibly get any more cliché?  Regardless, he leaned into Sasuke, resting his head on his shoulder.

Sasuke’s posture straightened as Naruto lopped against him. His eyes darted, unable to see Naruto’s face from this position. He sat for a few seconds, neither moving nor shooing the other away. Finally, he exhaled deeply, letting his neck relax as he lay his head against Naruto’s.

Sasuke hadn’t expected his body to react this way. He felt dizzy, gripping the brick stoop with his other hand. He’d done something like this before, when he’d allowed Naruto to sleep against him on the bus. But he hadn’t reciprocated, and Naruto had been unconscious. However, this wasn’t a private act.

Realization smacked him upside the head, but really, Sasuke had been sweeping it underneath the carpet for some time now. He would make out with girls at parties, and sometimes he’d even go farther than that if the situation was right. That felt good too, but it was entirely different. For Christ’s sake, the only thing they were doing was lying against each other. There was only one reason an act so mild would affect him this much. Whatever Naruto was feeling for him... It had to be mutual.

Sasuke willed his body to relax, keeping his breathing deep. He loved this, and he hated it. He loved feeling so different, so unburdened. This was one of those seldom times when he didn’t feel alone. The heat of Naruto’s body was against him, and Sasuke could feel his breathing. Even before his parents, he hadn’t felt this way around anyone. But moreover, it frightened him. One more person to love means one more person to lose. Not necessarily to death, of course. From the start, both of them knew that this arrangement wouldn’t last. Maybe this was why despite everything, his chest felt tight.

They sat for several minutes together, until Sasuke’s tailbone started to ache from the hard brick pressed against it. He yawned, the lulled mood tempting him to sleep. Of course, he couldn’t do this. He had far too much work ahead of him. Naruto’s breathing had, likewise, become long and calm.

“I better get inside. I have a few more chapters to read.”

Sasuke sat upright, Naruto taking his head off of his shoulder and stretching his neck.

“Right.”

The two stood, dusting off their pants as they entered the house. Returning to Sasuke’s bedroom, Naruto messed around with Sasuke’s computer as Sasuke got in bed and propped his head up against the wall with a pillow, engrossed in his history book. Sasuke tried to immerse himself in the words; all the facts that seemed so mundane to him. He had to focus, and he didn’t want to think about his newfound emotions. But he couldn’t keep his eyes from straying from the text from time to time. They rested on Naruto, who was smiling ear to ear, playing some random flash game on the computer.

Interested in a change of scenery and a late night snack, Sasuke moved down into the kitchen. He grazed at a small bowl of cereal as he highlighted his textbook. Around one in the morning, the garage door opened. Itachi had finally come home. Itachi joined Sasuke in the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of orange juice.

“Hey, Sasuke.”

Itachi’s voice sounded hoarse as he spoke. Perhaps he had caught a cold or some other sort of bug, as he had been prone to do lately. Itachi’s eyes took in the sunglasses on the kitchen counter, lifting them up. Sasuke bit his tongue, but otherwise seemed utterly unchanged.

“These are some nice shades.”

“Thanks.”

Itachi noted the price tag on the side – something to the tune of forty-five dollars.

“How’d you afford these?”

Sasuke didn’t like where these questions were headed, but he kept his voice level.

“A friend gave them to me.”

“They left the price tag on?”

Of course, Itachi was as perceptive as ever.

“I was there when they bought them, so there was no point in taking it off.”

Itachi placed the glasses down silently, staring down at the kitchen counter as he stood. Sasuke continued to read, as he had been doing.

“Sasuke... I hate to ask you this. But I’ve been noticing that you’ve been getting a lot of new things lately, and I haven’t been giving you any money.”

How could he even know, as rarely as he was home?  Did the guy have his wardrobe memorized or something?  Knowing Itachi, he could probably do something like that without even trying. It only figured; Itachi had memorized 34 digits of pi in two minutes in the seventh grade. A little creepy, actually. Sasuke didn’t look up from his book and took care not to slow his movements.

“Whatever you say, I’ll believe, because I trust you. Sasuke, look at me.”

Reluctantly, Sasuke set his highlighter on the table and looked up at his brother, doing his best not to look like a cornered animal. The sunglasses and the necklace were only two things among several that he had taken. He just hadn’t expected Itachi to put it all together, or even notice. His mistake.

“Because I trust you, it’s really important that you’re honest with me when you answer.”

Sasuke focused on his own facial expressions, his body language. He had to stay cool, just like he did when he passed by the security censors. He knew where this was headed. He didn’t want to answer Itachi’s questions. He just wanted to go up to his room and finish his homework. He wanted out of this situation. After Itachi had put so much effort into Sasuke’s verdict, keeping his record clean, how could he turn around and do this to Itachi just months later?  He didn’t know how he’d even face him.

“Have you been shoplifting?”


	12. Chapter 12

Itachi just had to ask like that, didn't he? He had to use words like "trust" and "believe." Sasuke didn't know which was worse - the disappointment on his brother’s face if he was honest or the glaring guilt he'd experience if he lied. Despite the situation, he considered himself an honest person. And on the list of people he'd be most reluctant to lie to in a situation like this, Itachi was on the top by a mile.

If he stopped stealing, was there really any reason Itachi had to know? It was a white lie that could save them both a lot of trouble. If anything, this currently brief exchange had showed him that he could not continue shoplifting. When he stole, his brother's face did not flash through his mind. The dots had been connected now, his emotions speaking loudly. One quick lie was all he needed to avoid the consequences of his actions.

Yet when Itachi spoke like that, his gentle voice full of understanding and even compassion, his conscience couldn't bear it. So he sat at the table, unable to speak even if he had wanted to. His eyes held direct contact with Itachi's, then fell to the table. He was being cowardly. The word "yes" wasn't in his vocabulary currently.

"So," Itachi's voice went from gentle and pleading to tired and annoyed. A labored sight. "You have no answer for me."

Sasuke stared at the table, still, all words failing him. All he could manage was a simple shrug. Of course, it had to be Itachi. Itachi, the genius, the prize student, the athlete. He'd started college at sixteen and would be a lawyer by the age of twenty-two. Itachi had always been better than him. He'd been smarter, more athletic, more respectful. Their father had noticed this fact as well, as Sasuke was frequently made aware of.

But how could he blame Itachi for this? Despite the competition their father pitted them in, Itachi treated Sasuke with kindness. As he moved forward, he always tried to pull Sasuke up with him. He was the man who stepped up to raise him after he'd lost his own parents. Sasuke wasn't one to look up to others; perhaps he was too self-sufficient for that. But Itachi had always been an exception.

Sasuke felt nauseous, not because he feared something as trivial as getting grounded. Itachi wasn't even present often enough to enforce punishments. He just didn't want to disappoint him.

Itachi let out a jagged exhale, his breath full of anger. It was obvious that Itachi was attempting to control himself, to keep himself from exploding.

"Sasuke, I have  _tried_ to be understanding. But what the hell are you thinking?"

Itachi stood next to the table, crossing his arms as he stared down at Sasuke. His eyes demanded an answer.

"Do you want to go to juvie? Because that's where you're headed at this rate."

Sasuke was now finally able to look at Itachi, praying that the man would keep his voice down. What if Naruto overheard? He was hard-pressed to think of anything more humiliating. When Sasuke responded, his voice was low and quiet.

"I'm not going to juvenile hall."

Itachi's voice raised ever so slightly, gaining speed.

"You're not? Because you were just in court a few months ago, and as I recall, the judge wasn't overly pleased with you."

Sasuke searched for an answer in the next several seconds, but Itachi beat him to the punch.

"Don't you...even  _realize_  all the trouble I've gone through to keep your record clean? To raise you? Do you even  _care_?"

Itachi's words forced themselves into his chest like an icepick, the syllables crunching together.

"Obviously," Sasuke muttered.

Itachi sneered at the answer.

"Oh, 'obviously,' huh?! You just throw it all away!”

Itachi was yelling now, and there was no way Naruto could have misheard. As much as it pained Sasuke to hear this, the thought of Naruto hearing it as well made it hard to breathe.

“You blow any opportunities you could have, opportunities I fought for, right out your ass! Hell, I'm hardly even an adult myself. And I'm trying my best, but I just don't know how to handle... _You_."

Itachi angrily gestured towards Sasuke. He didn’t know whether to bow his head in shame or look right up at Itachi and snarl. This was going even worse than he had feared. This had clearly been a bad night for Itachi as well, though given the stress Itachi had been under, Sasuke supposed he couldn’t blame him.

Naruto was hearing this; Sasuke was sure. What would Naruto think of him now? The guilt and embarrassment had become physically painful, affecting his head, his stomach, and his heart. All of these feelings were quickly converting to rage.

This wasn’t what was supposed to happen. These worlds were never meant to touch. As much as he wanted to run, he was trapped. Something sparked in Sasuke, and the rage he knew so well ignited. Sasuke abruptly stood and distanced himself from the table, the volume of his voice matching Itachi's.

"How much 'handling' do you have to do? You're never fucking home!"

Itachi's face went cold at the comment, all warmth and affection in his features vanished.

"How can you be so ungrateful? Do you even remotely understand what I've sacrificed for you, how difficult you've been?"

Sasuke had been pushed into the defensive. He clenched his teeth, his entire body tense.

"If it's so tough for you, why don't you turn me over to the foster care system, huh? Then you can stop feeling sorry for yourself and get rid of me, since I'm such a  _burden_  to you."

Itachi stepped backwards, scoffing at Sasuke.

"You accuse  _me_  of feeling sorry for myself? You've been moping and dicking around ever since Mom and Dad died!"

Sasuke’s body slacked, and his eyes shot open. He was speechless. It was this very sentence that he never wanted Naruto to hear. He didn't want Naruto to know. He just wanted to avoid the issue. Even if Naruto had his suspicions, it would be better than just laying everything out like this. But it wasn't over yet.

"But me… I didn't get the chance to act up or hold myself a pity party. I had to suck up all of the pain I was experiencing so that I could be a good guardian and provider, for you. This is life. Get the fuck over it already, Sasuke!”

The brothers both stared at each other, the kitchen enveloped in perfect silence for just a moment.

“You know what…” Itachi commented, shaking his head. “Maybe I should give you up to the system after all. I don't need this shit."

So, this is what Itachi hid behind that forced smile every time he came home from work with those tired eyes. He'd always felt like a burden after his parents died, but he prayed that Itachi didn't feel that way too. His throat felt tight, and his fingers tingled as the painfully quiet seconds passed. He wondered if he would have to fight back tears soon, but he gathered his strength as he yelled back full force.

"Then  _do_  it! Get rid of me! At least a foster family would have to be around. This fucking house is always empty. I'm  _always_  alone! You're not my 'guardian.' You're hardly even a brother!"

Shit, why would he say that? It was too late to take his words back. Itachi's face went cold at the comment, all warmth and affection in his features vanished. He raised his arm up, and his fist collided against Sasuke's cheek with a loud thud.

Sasuke felt a painful pinch as his eyes began to water. He knew the injury would bruise, but it would be easy to make excuses. Everyone would believe him. It just felt so strange for Itachi, so gentle and patient, to strike him. The only thing that Sasuke could think to himself was that he must've really messed up this time.

Maybe Itachi really did dislike Sasuke, secretly. Or maybe Sasuke's comment had made Itachi feel guilty. The last time Sauske had felt Itachi's fist on his face, he couldn't have been older than seven. He'd generally been a very kind and protective older brother, but siblings were bound to have their squabbles. Especially considering how competitive the two of them used to be, it made sense. But this... This was much different.

Sasuke stared back at Itachi, his gaze full of hurt and shock. Perhaps surprisingly, Itachi looked every bit as astounded as Sasuke did. The younger brother barely witnessed the look of profound guilt on the other's face just before turning his head away. Was Sasuke going to cry? No, that was ridiculous. Sasuke could take a punch without batting an eye; that much was a definite. But perhaps not from Itachi.

"Fuck you," Sasuke spat, silent fury quaking his voice. "I don't have to deal with your bullshit."

Sasuke concentrated on his footsteps as he walked out of the kitchen with a deliberately steady pace, hastily stomping up the stairs once he was out of view. He wasn't sure if he was storming away because he was angry and wanted to avoid doing something he'd regret, or because he didn't want Itachi to see him crumble.

It hadn't taken long for him to get from the kitchen to his bedroom door. He shoved the door open, observing Naruto awkwardly scurrying back to the bed as his face had obviously been pressed against the door. His terror might have been funny if Sasuke weren't so furious. The imprints of Sasuke's door were even freshly red against his cheek. This was none of Naruto’s business.

Naruto paused, torn between facing the music and literally running away from Sasuke, perhaps lunging out their second story window and hoping for the best. God, Sasuke was _terrifying_  when he was angry. Sasuke shoved Naruto back, the smaller boy stumbling and nearly losing his footing. He didn't want Naruto knowing any of this. He didn't want Naruto to know about the people he hung out with, the decisions he made, or his parents' death. He just wanted things to stay the same as they were now - simple, calm, and shallow. Naruto had been his escape.

"What the hell, Sasuke? It's not like you guys weren't yelling anyway!"

Sasuke's blood was still coursing. When Naruto noticed the trembling of Sasuke's hands and the angry wound on his face, his expression immediately softened. It had been so tempting at that moment to shout insults at Naruto for being so rude, so nosey. Even for giving him that look he was giving him now. It wasn't disappointment or anger. Even worse, it was pity. But he held his tongue, his molars digging into it painfully. He couldn't risk Itachi overhearing them.

Naruto had only heard the yelling, and they had made no reference to any physical violence. Was this really what Sasuke’s home life was like? There had been so much that Sasuke hadn't told him. It blew him away, honestly. Despite knowing that there was more to Sasuke than met the eye, he couldn't help thinking that the kid was spoiled. Sure, Naruto knew he had a few issues, but how tough could life really be for someone like Sasuke?

Naruto approached Sasuke as if attempting to pet a feral animal. When Naruto put his arm on his shoulder, Sasuke swatted it away, taking another step back. Naruto wouldn't hear of it, however. He quickly closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Sasuke and gripping each wrist with the opposite hand. Sasuke thrashed for an instant, trying to free himself and finding the blond shockingly strong. Suddenly, he felt very tired. The adrenaline was leaving his body so quickly, it seemed.

"What do you want to say to me now?” Sasuke mumbled, slumping and hanging his head. “That he's right?"

Sasuke sighed, eyeing the ground as he continued, "This must sound so stupid to you."

Naruto remembered the pills he’d found in Sasuke's desk. It made more sense to him now. Had he _truly_ known Sasuke? He frowned, muttering into Sasuke's ear.

"I didn't know you were dealing with this. I'm sorry..."

Sasuke grunted.

"Don't apologize, and don't pity me. You called me a spoiled brat back then. You could've been right."

This was one of those rare times when Sasuke actually felt like a moron. Naruto had no one to take care of him. The guy lived on the streets and nearly got raped just days ago. Really, things could have been worse.

Naruto shook his head, petting Sasuke's arm soothingly. Sasuke was torn between shooing him away and enjoying it. Ultimately he decided on the latter, his breathing and heartbeat gradually returning to normal.

"I've never had anyone, but I've also never lost anyone. It hurts all the same, but it's a different sort of hurt. It's silly to try to compare them."

They were silent for a while, Naruto wrapped around Sasuke as the latter caved into himself. Sasuke felt an uncomfortable moistness on his cheek and wiped at it. The dark streak on his palm told him that it was blood. Considering the pulsing by his jawbone, it wasn't surprising. He sighed in relief. Thank god, he wasn't crying.

"Do you think he meant it?"

As Naruto stopped to respond, Sasuke listened for any signs of Itachi. The lower floor was completely silent.

"Honestly... I don't know your brother well enough to say. Did you mean what you said?"

Sasuke shook his head slowly.

"In a way, I think he's like you,” Naruto said calmly, a chuckle now finding its way into his voice. “You know, you're fucking scary when you're worried."

It felt better when he thought of it that way, when he tried to put himself in Itachi's position. It was obvious why he would be worried about Sasuke, and judging from all of the sacrifices he made, it was obvious that he cared. He couldn't blame Itachi for becoming overwhelmed.

Sasuke gently shook free of Naruto, falling onto his bed and lying backwards. His stronger emotions were now being replaced with fatigue, and he gave a deep sigh. This had been a day of lofty highs and dire lows. One minute he's in a love stupor, and the next he gets punched in the face.

"Sasuke, why don't you go to bed?"

Sasuke shook his head.

"As great as that sounds, I have work to do."

Naruto pursed his lips.

"Do you really think you can learn with your mind wandering like this? You look exhausted."

"I'm fine, Naruto. I need to finish this tonight."

Sasuke rested on his bed. He put up a valiant effort over the next hour, hacking into his history book. He could still hear Itachi’s words, still see the cold and hateful look on his face. He occasionally glanced over at Naruto, who was amusing himself with Sasuke’s computer. Sasuke’s studies were disrupted by a gentle knock on the door. Sasuke wasn't sure if he was ready to speak to Itachi again, but he motioned for Naruto to hide in the closet nonetheless. Sasuke was surprised by how quiet Naruto could be if given proper incentive. Sasuke opened the door and looked back at Itachi guardedly.

"Yeah?"

Itachi frowned as he noticed the smear of blood on Sasuke's cheek, the surrounding skin beginning to swell.

"Sasuke, do you mind if I come in?"

Itachi's voice was soft, sounding much like he always did. That much was a good sign. Without answering, Sasuke stepped away from the door.

"Do what you want."

Sasuke's voice was mostly tired, but there was a small hint of spite. As guilty as he felt about stealing, he was still unhappy with the way Itachi had reacted.

"Sasuke..."

Itachi's words were gentle, almost pleading. Sasuke stared back at him impatiently, feigning boredom. Why did seeing his brother right now make him feel so upset? There was a distant part of him that just wanted Itachi to put his hand on his shoulder, to tell him that he didn't mean it. He was ashamed of this; it was weakness.

"I won't steal again, okay?" Sasuke interrupted. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

Sasuke could read his brother well. He knew that he had come to his room to mend things over. Itachi shook his head, persisting regardless.

"Sasuke, I'm so sorry."

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"You don't have to apologize for honesty."

While he meant what he said, he hoped that Itachi would contradict him. He was too prideful to test the waters more directly. When the other shook his head, a long strand of hair fell from his pony tail.

"It wasn't honesty. It was frustration. I can’t believe I said those things to you. I can’t believe I actually…”

Sasuke shrugged, still skeptical. Sometimes, when people are angry, they say things they don't mean. But sometimes those breaking points are when the truth surfaces. Sasuke still didn't know which he believed.

"It's fine."

Keen as ever, Itachi didn't miss Sasuke's suspicions for an instant.

"I wouldn't give up on you for the world, you know? You're the only family I have left. I think without you... I'd be a disaster."

Sasuke had no idea that he helped Itachi, in any way. All he seemed to do was cause him trouble. As pleased as he was, wasn't it a little embarrassing for Naruto to overhear this? He stared at paper circle that had fallen from his college ruled notebook paper, the only speck disrupting the well-vacuumed carpet.

"You don't have to be so sappy about it," he muttered.

Itachi easily saw through his feigned indifference, a wordless understanding passing between them.

"I didn't mean it either, 'Tachi,” Sasuke almost whispered. “You've done much better than I ever could've."

Itachi smiled back at Sasuke, the look of relief on his face evident. As strong as Itachi was, it was sometimes difficult for Sasuke to remember that he was human, and thus vulnerable to his own insecurities.

"Well... We should both be getting our sleep."

Just as Itachi started to turn away, Sasuke called after him.

"Itachi..."

"Hm?"

Sasuke swallowed before he spoke.

"I'm sorry. ...Both for stealing and what I said. I didn't mean to cause you even more trouble..."

He was story for stealing, sorry for lying to Itachi, and sorry for not apologizing earlier. There were many things he regretted, but there was no going back now. Itachi smiled, lowering his head at Sasuke and raising his brows.

"Don't do it again, and we'll call it even."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was conflicted writing this chapter. Are you sympathizing with Sasuke, or do you think this was deserved? Let me know what you think!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guh, 2 days too late! Anyhow, let me know what you guys think.
> 
> (And yeah, the MySpace reference is pretty retro. This story is set in 2012 in MySpace's final death throes.)

When Sasuke opened the closet, Naruto faced the wall, obstinately refusing to rotate towards him for the first several seconds. When he finally turned, he stood clumsily with water in his eyes. Sasuke arched an eyebrow at him.

"Naruto, were you just crying?"

Naruto frowned, gently pushing Sasuke in the arm.

"It's fucking dusty in here! It's all in my eyes and shit like mad! ...The dust!"

Sasuke snickered, stepping back and allowing Naruto to exit.

“It was poignant, okay?” Naruto mumbled.

He wondered if Naruto could ever get through chick flicks with dry eyes. The guy could be a total softie, but he supposed that was one of the things he liked about him. As Naruto sat down in his sleeping bag, Sasuke moved to the bed.

"Now Sasuke... Not to beat a dead horse, but if you steal again, I'll punch your fucking lights out."

Sasuke paused for a moment and shot Naruto a quick look. Perhaps not the best choice in phrasing on Naruto's part, given the situation. Sasuke was beginning to realize that stealing posed a very direct threat to his physical wellbeing and, more specifically, his face. He chuckled under his breath, ever so slightly.

"Don't have to tell me twice. Now, good night."

Sasuke flicked the lights off, finally curling up in his bed. The air in his room was particularly chilly tonight, but Naruto had assured him that he was warm in the sleeping bag. Sasuke curled up under the comforter, attempting to drift off. His fingers and toes tingled cold, but his chest felt stuffy and tight.

However tired his body and mind were, slumber was evading him. Instead, he kept remembering things he had long wanted to forget. Smoke, blood, charred skin, sterile hospital rooms... With each disturbing image, he attempted to reroute his thoughts to neutral subject matter, which somehow led his mind to similarly unsettling thoughts. An endless loop with no escape. It didn't take much to trigger him, Sasuke found.

A couple weeks after his parents' death, a napkin fell over the stove burner while Sasuke was cooking scrambled eggs. The thin black smoke triggering the fire alarm. Before Sasuke was even aware of what was happening, he was on the ground, clutching his chest with unsteady fingers, hands drenched in sweat. He was hyperventilating so badly that he feared that he would either pass out or vomit. He remembered his father’s severed arm, the way the upper story crumbled like a deck of cards when his bedroom crashed into itself.

Fortunately, his brother had been home. Itachi had been ill equipped to deal with this sort of situation at the time, but his simple presence had been enough to keep Sasuke relatively grounded.

Shizune diagnosed him with Posttraumatic Stress Disorder a couple months after the incident. She told Sasuke that it played into his angry outbursts, distrust in humanity, impulsive decisions, and withdrawn attitude. Sasuke, however, didn't like to make excuses. For better or for worse, his choices were his responsibility.

She also told him that as time passed, the flashbacks would become less frequent and would affect him less. This seemed to be true, and he wondered how long he'd actually qualify for the diagnosis. Still, it made nights like these no less frustrating.

No one would know of this, he decided. As far as his friends would realize, his parents' death slid off him, leaving him unscathed and stronger than ever. Only Itachi knew the truth, simply because he had to file the insurance claims for Sasuke’s psychiatric care and medication. Sasuke would have done everything in his power to ignore it, but he could only pretend for so long in his own home.

He turned over from his stomach to his side, to his back, then to his stomach again, a slight but generalized anxiety buzzing around his body. Finally giving up on sleep for the time being, Sasuke went to the restroom for a glass of water, setting it beside his bed and sipping as he lay down, careful not to spill.

"Can't sleep?"

Sasuke was unaware that Naruto had been awake. He had been quiet so as not to disrupt him.

"Doesn't look like it."

He could barely hear Naruto ruffle in the sleeping bag.

"Would it...help if I joined you?"

Sasuke bit his lip in contemplation. It seemed like a forward question, but given what happened outside earlier that night and how Naruto comforted Sasuke after the fight, it wasn't uncalled for. Sasuke hadn't slept next to anyone since he was a child. He wondered what it would be like. He felt himself wondering, in the back of his mind, what was happening between Naruto and him now. But he ignored it.

"Sleep wherever you're most comfortable."

Naruto knew Sasuke well enough by now to interpret that. If he hadn't wanted Naruto in his bed, he would've told him so. Therefore, by default...

Naruto abandoned his sleeping bag, slipping under the covers on the opposite side of the bed. A forearm's length of space lay between them, the space somehow seeming minute and vast simultaneously. Naruto slept on his back, his eyes facing the ceiling, while Sasuke slept with his back to Naruto. Naruto's weight on the mattress shifted Sasuke back, his body slightly leaning towards Naruto. He hadn't expected tonight to end up like this, but despite everything, he was alright with it.

Sasuke tried not to keep Naruto awake, gracefully turning onto his back a few minutes into the night. Naruto, however, was completely alert, turning his head to glance at Sasuke. Sasuke's brows were knit, his eyes shut tightly.

"Your mind's playing tricks on you, hm?"

Naruto’s voice so bluntly broke the silence. Sasuke hoped that he hadn’t been so obvious. Perhaps engaging Naruto in conversation would be less aggravating than this futile tossing and turning. Naruto had been kind to him tonight. Sasuke was grateful.

"Yeah."

Naruto turned onto his side, facing Sasuke.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Sasuke shrugged. Did he?

"I'm not sure it would help."

Naruto smiled at Sasuke.

"Wanna try?"

This was supposed to be his friend, not his shrink. He didn't want Naruto to believe he had any issues at all, but after what Naruto had observed tonight, there was no avoiding it. Sasuke rested his forearm over his eyes, trying to keep the lights from his window from keeping him awake. Even the streetlights were becoming a nuisance.

Speaking of these things seemed a little daunting, but after everything that had happened, Sasuke found that his boundaries had softened in his mental exhaustion. He believed that he could trust Naruto. He might as well try.

"Why not..."

It wasn't as if the majority of his secrets hadn't been ripped out of hiding tonight. Naruto raised his brow dramatically, doing his best to look intelligent and sophisticated. He would put on his therapist hat now. Sasuke merely smirked, rolling his eyes as he barely made out Naruto's exaggerated expression around his own forearm.

"Is it about the fight?"

Sasuke shook his head.

"Not really."

Sasuke held a long silence, surprised that Naruto hadn't jumped to a response. Perhaps he could tell that Sasuke had more to say.

"More just what it reminded me of," Sasuke forced out.

Naruto paused.

"You mean your folks?"

Sasuke nodded, frowning. It might have been simpler had it been a stranger whom he would never see again. He feared revealing too much to Naruto. He didn't want to be seen as weak, or perhaps even worse, self-pitying.

"Sasuke, if you don't mind me asking... What happened to them?"

Sasuke took a shuddering breath, silently so that Naruto would hopefully not hear. Naruto did, however, feel Sasuke's weight shift on the mattress.

"Our house caught fire. Some faulty wiring, and it hit the water heater,” Sasuke blurted out choppily, as he couldn’t think of any better way to say it. “No one in the house survived past that night."

Naruto sighed, shaking his head. Even by his standards, this was some heavy stuff. He didn't want to tell Sasuke he was sorry again. He knew he didn't need to hear that.

"Is that why you moved last year?"

"Yeah."

That explained a lot. Naruto had wondered where Sasuke's parents slept. He assumed they did something like converting the attic to a third floor, as one of his foster families had done. Given their frequent "business trips" and the house size, it might not have been necessary to take rooms on the second floor.

It also explained why the house was so sparsely furnished and decorated, and why there were no old pictures of Sasuke or Itachi. The Uchiha possessions seemed to be either new or old hand-me-downs. The brothers must have lost everything in that fire. They apparently hadn't had much time to fill things out again.

Sasuke appreciated his space, and Naruto hadn't previously wanted to be pushy. He would have never claimed to have had Sasuke figured out, but this threw him for a loop. Naruto frowned. It was ironic that both of them had lost their homes, in one sense or another, within the past year. Of course, in both of their cases, there was much more to it than that. Naruto had seen Sasuke as someone from a different world entirely. Perhaps they were not so different as he believed.

"What were your parents like?"

Sasuke didn't think much before answering.

"They were good people."

Naruto the left corner of Naruto's mouth pulled up as he repositioned himself on the sheets.

"That's good, but I didn't mean that…"

Sasuke turned to Naruto, their faces closer to each other now. Naruto's breath misted against his nose.

"Then what did you mean?"

Through the darkness, he could see the gears turning in Naruto's head.

"Well… Did they sing in the car?"

Sasuke arched a brow, replying dryly, "What is this, a MySpace survey?"

Naruto grunted.

"C'mon, humor me. Give me some details to go on."

Sasuke sighed. How was this relevant again? Well, it was a distraction, at the very least. He'd gone this far already, so he might as well just roll with the punches.

 "Fine... I never heard my father sing, ever. He didn't mind other people singing, but he was never very animated. My mom would sing in the car sometimes when there were long silences.”

Sasuke paused to think, and he so clearly heard his mother’s soft voice humming as he sat behind the passenger seat.

“She never sang loudly though,” Sasuke continued thoughtfully. “Kind of softly and under her breath, but she was always on-tune."

Naruto beamed back at Sasuke. He felt that the more Sasuke spoke like this, the better he got to know him.

"See, that told me a lot more about your parents. I already assumed they were good people. They raised you and your brother, after all."

Sasuke took in Naruto's face, trying to analyze the his thought processes. His mind didn't work like the others', and it intrigued him.

"You have a weird way of looking at things."

Naruto seemed to take that as a compliment, the smile seeming to gobble up the lower half of his face.

"'S cuz I watch."

"A people watcher?"

Naruto nodded emphatically, and Sasuke judged that he had hit upon one of those topics that Naruto liked to blabber on about. At the moment, he didn't mind. It was a welcome distraction.

"Hm. Creepy," Sasuke teased.

Naruto pouted.

"Shut up. Ya know, it's funny because I've always talked too much, instead of thinking. I was more of a doer than a watcher, but since I haven't had much to do or many people to talk to lately, I ended up a watcher."

He'd been right about one thing: this kid was different. Sometimes downright weird. But for whatever reason, he found himself listening much more carefully than he would to almost anyone else. To Sasuke, "weird" was not a bad thing.

Naruto continued, "That's what I liked about the park so much. There are so many people to watch. And you find out there are all sorts of people, and all sorts of things that can tell you more about them. Like how quickly they walk, where their eyes go, how much they look around, what they're carrying and how tightly…"

As vapid as Naruto ordinarily seemed, Sasuke would not have guessed that he had put that much thought into observing others. He supposed that there was little else for him to do. Naruto hadn't lost any steam.

"Then you wonder where they came from. Maybe they have on a suit, or are carrying a book or half-eaten leftovers from that deli around the corner, and it's probably still on their breath. You watch them and try to guess if they would sing in their car, or if they're upset that kids these days can't read cursive anymore."

Sasuke felt torn between viewing Naruto as someone extremely easy or someone extremely difficult to read. Sometimes the most unexpected, uncharacteristic things left his mouth. Naruto was perhaps nowhere near as simple as he let on. It was interesting to Sasuke. These were all things he knew on some level, but to focus on them to this extent... It was something people rarely did.

"You're right. You do talk too much."

A pout in his voice, Naruto responded, "Asshole."

Sasuke smirked, finding comfort in the familiarity of teasing his friend. He paused, discovering that he did, actually, feel better. He was surprised. His brother was generally the only soul able to comfort him.

"So, do you think I sing in the car?"

Naruto turned his whole body to face Sasuke, scooting up closely to him to fully analyze Sasuke through the darkness. Sasuke crinkled his brows in mild disturbance, edging away from him.

"Hm… Only rarely. When you're trying to think about something else, and you know no one can tell."

There was silence between them after Naruto spoke, and Sasuke could practically feel Naruto's enthusiasm, his impatience to know if he had gotten it right.

"Alright, Naru. I have to wake up early tomorrow. Let's go to bed."

The new nickname did not escape Naruto.

"Heh."

No other words between them were needed. The odd thing was that Naruto was precisely right, and Sasuke had no doubt that Naruto was aware of it.


	14. Chapter 14

Lips collided as two noses narrowly missed each other, the creaking sound of a bouncing mattress filling Sasuke's bedroom. A head slammed against the wall behind them, unbridled moaning issuing from both mouths followed by a hissed swear. Their breaths were jagged, and the backs of Sasuke’s knees were sweaty. Sasuke saw only black, his eyes shut tightly as their moist tongues intertwined. Sasuke rested on four legs on top of the other, a calloused hand reaching underneath Sasuke’s boxers and blindly feeling towards his erection.

Sasuke pulled back for air, opening his eyes now for the first time. Naruto gazed back at him, his eyes partially lidded with exertion and satisfaction, a pink flush on his cheeks. It felt natural, without a hint of awkwardness. The two were stripped down to their boxers, sex-heated limbs tangling together comfortably. Naruto's neck craned upwards as his teeth sunk into Sasuke's thin bottom lip. Sasuke growled softly, returning the favor and tugging on Naruto's lip. Naruto was his for now. He'd wanted him, and now, nothing stood in his way.

Naruto fought to flip Sasuke over, the Uchiha exerting significant effort to keep Naruto beneath him, his biceps pinned to the sheets. He had Naruto where he wanted him. His mouth moved to Naruto's jawline, harshly sucking at the sensitive flesh underneath and leaving reddish-purple behind. He would make Naruto remember this. He kissed, licked, and nipped down the side of Naruto's neck, the older boy granting the younger consent as Sasuke traced his fingers down his abdomen.

"Sasuke… Please…"

Naruto turned his head towards the wall, his pants heavy and deep. Naruto’s skin was hot and just so slightly heavy.

"I need it, S'uke…"

And dammit, so did he. Sasuke's fingers trailed lower, lower, lower…

Black again. An annoyingly loud lawn mower grated between Sasuke's ears, and rough fingers tickled his hipbone precariously. As he turned his head away from the pillow, the black took a reddish hue and the sunlight warmed his face. Sasuke's brows knit as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, his vision slowly sharpening as he glanced over at his clock. 6:52.

Naruto's head rested on Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke's sleep-fogged mind assumed that the rather provocative position of Naruto's hand was accidental. His boxers felt tight. His eyes trailed downwards. Oh god…

A rather impressive tent was being pitched underneath the sheets. Naruto's soft snoring mercifully informed him that he could take this humiliation in privacy. Christ, Naruto’s hand was right next to this massive boner of his. For all Sasuke knew, he could've even touched it. And had Naruto been sleeping through Sasuke’s entire dream, or was it possible that he’d observed some of it? Had Sasuke made any noises or even talked in his sleep?

Why was this happening? He was probably just horny. It wasn't his fault. Ever since Naruto had moved in with him, he had yet to masturbate a single time. Naruto, however, got Sasuke's school and gym hours to himself to do whatever he so wished, the lucky bastard. How else could he get this out of his system? Sure, Naruto was attractive. But their relationship was nothing like this, was it?

Ever since the night when Naruto first slept next to Sasuke, the two shared a bed every night. It was simpler, perhaps. They didn't need to bother with sheets and sleeping bags, and there was enough room for both of them. Sometimes, Sasuke would awaken to Naruto's head on his shoulder, or his arm draped over his chest. He didn't mind, just as Naruto didn't mind one night when Sasuke pressed his nose against Naruto's neck in his sleep.

At these times, Naruto did not move Sasuke, and Sasuke did not move Naruto. Sasuke wondered if it was unwise to allow this to continue, whether it was weak or wrong to leave Naruto rest his head on Sasuke’s chest or lean against his arm. It was nothing, of course. It was nothing worth waking Naruto up for. Yet a quieter portion of his mind would wonder whether he was just taking in the comfort of the situation, all the while having no obligation to recognize or address what was happening.

They never touched while both of them were awake. When Naruto would find himself nuzzled into Sasuke, he'd fluster and correct himself. And now Sasuke found himself in this predicament. Was this really…normal for two guys who were supposedly just friends? They hadn't even done anything yet, but there was something distinctly romantic about sharing a bed every night. Naruto made the occasional sexual joke, often directed towards Sasuke's appearance. Sometimes their banter sounded more like flirting.

Sasuke gracefully navigated out of bed, careful not to awaken the other boy. He tip toed into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. He felt even worse when a glance in the mirror revealed that his cheeks had flushed with embarrassment. Well, he needed a shower this morning anyway. Cold or hot? He turned on the heat, scolding himself for his lack of restraint. He lifted his head up as the hot water rushed back his hair, gripping his cock in his hand and pumping leisurely.

He'd get away with it if he was quiet. Still, knowing Naruto, he wouldn't be entirely surprised if he barged into the bathroom unannounced. He'd done it once before, and though Sasuke had shouted insults at him, he didn't force him to leave either. Sasuke realized that it was loneliness and boredom rather than lust that caused Naruto to do this. Sasuke knew he had to hurry. He didn't know how he would handle Naruto walking in on him.

His hand quickened, the hot water slicking between his hand and the sensitive flesh. He wouldn't bother to be creative. He just wanted to take care of his issue as quickly as possible and forget that this had ever happened. But as hard as he was, he felt blocked. He approached orgasm several times, but through his guilt and shame, he was unable to reach climax. He clenched his teeth in frustration, biting his lip harshly to keep from moaning.

His mind roamed, picturing any attractive girl he could think of. It did nothing for him. He reluctantly realized where his best chance stood. After all, how had he gotten like this to begin with? Naruto. He imagined his eyes, his hair, his scent, his scars, the skin spanning his neck and shoulder… He had seen Naruto naked before, though he had made it a point not to stare. He now tried to remember every detail, the muscles on his thighs and the shape of his bare ass. He imagined Naruto underneath him, or perhaps the other way around, whatever brought their bodies close together.

His body finally unleashed, warm cum spurting on the shower floor. He wished the water would wash it away more quickly so he could forget, even as his body was tingling. Sasuke's lower lip was red from the indent of his teeth, aggressively biting the flesh to keep himself from moaning during those last blissful moments. He lifted his forearm against the misted shower wall and rested against it, panting and regaining his thoughts. In some ways he felt better, and in other ways he felt much worse. What was happening to him?

Naruto had told him that he was gay. He knew that Naruto liked him, and he knew that he liked Naruto. Sasuke had originally wondered whether his feelings were a sexual attraction or just an unusually deep platonic compatibility. Sasuke had never felt so close to anyone other than Itachi, so he had trouble placing his emotions. Yet given moments like these, he now understood what was happening. He wasn't aware how much Naruto realized, as the idiot was some odd mixture of clueless and uncannily perceptive. Where were they?

Sasuke would say nothing, however. What if something went wrong? Given that Sasuke provided the only roof over Naruto's head, perhaps it was best not to take that risk. Besides, he knew Naruto would have to leave soon, and Sasuke didn't want it to hurt them any more than it had to. Losing him would be difficult enough without complicating matters. Even if everything went well between them, could they even stay in contact after Itachi found Naruto? Frankly, he was surprised that their arrangement had lasted an entire week as Friday evening rolled around.

And with the evening came his prior commitment. Naruto had smiled when Sasuke walked out the door, his eyes shut tight but looking not the slightest bit convincing. Naruto wanted to come with him. In fact, he even resented Sasuke. He didn't even look like he wanted to go, while it was this sort of typical teenage stuff that Naruto only wished he could experience. He hoped that no one would try anything funny with Sasuke. He knew that he had plenty of girls (and even probably a few guys) at his disposal. They'd probably be all over him. Dammit, he was totally useless stuck in this house. But why would he care? They were just friends. Sasuke could do whatever with whomever he wanted.

Karin and Suigetsu were already in the car as Juugo's pickup nudged up Sasuke's driveway. Naruto peeked out the front window from the sofa, getting a quick glimpse of the car and Karin's and Juugo's faces, along with one shadowed head in the back seat. How old was this driver, anyhow? He was enormous! And the girl sitting next to him seemed pretty attractive. Were they dating? Sasuke approached the car, sitting in the back seat with Suigetsu. He opened the door to yelling, Karin and Suigetsu evidently involved in a squabble. They wasted no time before addressing Sasuke.

"Sasuke, look at what this idiot did!"

Karin was pointing to Suigetsu, who had leaned back in his seat with the sole of his shoe against the back of Juugo's seat. Karin was shooting Suigetsu the stink eye.

"I got some ink done, man."

Suigetsu rolled up his sleeve, showing a grey, faded shape which seemed to resemble a skull on his upper arm. The ink was splotchy and speckled. This wasn't the first homemade tattoo Sasuke had seen, but it was probably one of the crappier ones.

"One of my bros did it on me last night. It's a skull with flames."

Sasuke raised a thin brow, shaking his head. Suigetsu handed Sasuke the pack of cigarettes and a Zippo lighter. Sasuke let the cigarette droop between his lips, flipped back the lighter, and ignited it, puffing at the cigarette until the fire caught.

"Seems odd you'd have to tell people what it is," Sasuke spoke around the cigarette in his mouth, handing the cigarettes and lighter back to Suigetsu.

Suigetsu frowned, his lower lip jutting outward.

"Doesn't it look like a skull with flames to you?"

Sasuke rested his cheek on his hand, taking a deep drag off his cigarette as he glanced over at Suigetsu's arm. He squinted his eyes and smirked.

"It looks a little like Texas."

Karin twisted around to glare at Suigetsu.

"Hah! I told you so. I told you not to do it!"

Suigetsu groaned, holding his head in his hand, "Is it really that bad?"

Sasuke had no comment. Suigetsu shook his head, attempting to shrug it off.

"'Sfine. I'll just go back to the guy and tell him to work over it."

Karin scoffed, loudly chewing her gum.

"You'll dig yourself deeper," Sasuke answered.

"What else am I supposed to do?

"Wait until you're eighteen and go to someone who knows what they're doing."

At Sasuke's advice, Suigetsu pulled his hair, leaning back in his seat.

"But I don't want to! That's like a whole year from now!"

"Then maybe you should think before you act like a fucking dumbass," Karin jeered.

Sasuke had always figured that Karin had a good head on her shoulders, relatively speaking. It was a shame that all rational thought seemed to come to a screeching halt whenever he came into the picture. Just like so many others, Sasuke thought.

They arrived at Kabuto's house relatively soon. It was small: a one bedroom with a kitchenette and a living room. Then again, this was probably all he needed. Kabuto didn't live in the best of areas. Still, it was nowhere near as bad as the area around J and Eighth, where Naruto had been accosted. And Kaubto wasn't poor; he always seemed to be showing up to school with something new. None of them were sure for how long Kabuto had been living alone, or how he paid rent without a formal job. Then again, Sasuke supposed that all of Kabuto's efforts selling questionable items around the school could be considered a job. Perhaps this was why he even bothered attending school at all.

Kabuto flicked a wave as the four of them crossed the threshold. Kabuto gave Sasuke, the last to enter, a pat on the back. Including Kabuto, there were eleven people at his house. Sasuke recognized Sasori and Deidara, as well as a few older men who he was told were attending the local community college, Suna. Again, Sasuke was the youngest person there, yet one would never suspect from the way he presented himself. He had his youthful face to curse, however.

The party felt a little cramped, and there weren't really enough people to sustain a real dance floor. However, the party's participants were too intoxicated to really care. There were half-empty bottles of vodka, Jägermeister, Redbull, and several twelve packs of beer strewn about the kitchen. Suigetsu and Karin flocked to the alcohol immediately, and Juugo poured himself a plastic cup of beer. Sasuke, however, keenly remembering his brother's words on Monday, decided to make do with cigarettes alone.

About an hour into the party, Sasuke believed that he had listened to more Dr. Dre, Pitbull, and rap metal than he could be expected to withstand in one night. These things weren't quite as painless without the dulling effects of alcohol. Out of the corner of his eye, Sasuke saw one of the college students leaning downwards with his nose to the table, finger covering one nostril as he made a quick movement. He heard nothing over the music, but Sasuke had witnessed enough pop culture references to guess at what was occurring. Sasuke didn't know what exactly was being used, but on second thought, he decided that he didn't want to know.

The scent of marijuana in the house was so strong that Sasuke wondered if he might get the slightest contact high. A man whom Sasuke had never met stumbled over to him, placing his arm on his shoulder and grinning.

“Hey man, hey!” he slurred out enthusiastically. He looked like he was in his mid 20s.

Sasuke discreetly moved away.

“Wicked party, right!” he screamed over the music, his mouth by Sasuke’s ear. His breath was saturated with the scent of alcohol.

“Do I know you?” Sasuke asked standoffishly, his nose crinkled.

“I’ve been working on my freestyle. Wanna hear?”

“Dear god no.”

“Yo, yo, my rhymes are sweeter than chocolate but far more toxic. If you want to ride by me, die by me!” the man shouted on, spit flying out of his mouth every now and again as he dramatically gestured with each line. “The flame burns, the flame of pain the flame of fame…”

Sasuke regarded the man in horror and walked away, but the man continued as if Sasuke were still there. Good chance he’d done one hell of a lot of coke, Sasuke thought.

Other than Kabuto and Juugo, who both had the tolerance of a bear, everyone at the party was completely shitfaced and burdensome to speak with. Yet even Kabuto and Juugo were notably buzzed, though Sasuke realized that he probably would have been too had Monday not occurred. So Sasuke sat next to Juugo on the couch, discussing things such as the concerts in town and a new restaurant in the mall over a smoke. Despite Juugo’s slight intoxication, it bordered on being enjoyable, or at the very least not grating, as was the rest of the party.

There was a scuffle in the kitchen between Deidara and Suigetsu, who were feuding over the iPod that controlled the music in the room. Suigetsu appeared to have won, as Eminem began to blare over the sound system. Suigetsu grabbed his crotch, stumbling slightly as he danced jerkily with his other arm and shouted the lyrics. Karin stood back, crossing her arms and nodding to the beat sloppily, obviously more than buzzed herself. Sasuke and Juugo exchanged a look and an eyeroll. Typical party behavior for Suigetsu.

Kabuto finally approached Sasuke and Juugo, smiling lightly and holding a couple cups of beer. Karin and Suigetsu had gladly accepted the same offer from Kabuto a couple minutes earlier, though Sasuke wondered if Suigetsu would have to visit the hospital again at this rate. The two could hardly walk. Oddly interested in being a good host, Kabuto reached Juugo and Sasuke next.

"Sasuke, you're stone cold sober. Loosen up already."

As Kabuto offered him a beer, the Uchiha shook his head. He couldn't help but imagine his brother's face when he found out he’d been shoplifting.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

Kabuto looked back at Sasuke flatly, a slight slur to his voice.

"It's a twenty-first birthday party, and you're not even gonna have a beer? C'mon, just one to take the edge off."

Sasuke sighed and supposed he was right. A single beer would be out of his system soon enough, and it could make the party at least slightly more tolerable. It wouldn't even get him buzzed. Even if he miraculously ran into his brother right after the party, he probably wouldn't even know he'd had anything to drink. What was the harm? With a shrug, Sasuke accepted, sipping at the beer leisurely over the past several minutes.

As Karin and Suigetsu now couldn't walk straight and could hardly stand, Sasuke assumed the two must’ve gotten into some very hard liquor. Sasuke finished his beer in several minutes, sipping between drags of cigarette.

"They got some Captain Morgan here, Sasuke," Juugo muttered, drinking his own beer he'd just received from Kabuto.

"Yeah, you like that stuff," Sasuke shrugged.

"I should've known it would be too sweet for you," Juugo chuckled. "Besides, after that one time…"

"Enough," the sophomore grunted, holding his hand up to Juugo. He was, of course, referring to the only time Sasuke had ever been truly drunk. Juugo shook his head.

"That'll teach you to mix rum, vodka, and gin."

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure you don't have any embarrassing freshman stories," he rebutted sarcastically.

Sasuke had only hearsay to go by. When Juugo had been a freshman, Sasuke hadn't even entered middle school yet.

"Embarrassing for you, maybe. They'll think anything's cool when you do it."

Sasuke huffed, swallowing a hearty mouthful of beer.

"I'm sick of it."

"It must be a pain in the ass, having everyone love you," Juugo teased with a soft smile.

"It’s a joke,” Sasuke huffed. “They don’t know me from Adam."

Juugo shrugged.

"I'll admit, it's short-sighted.”

They sat in silence for a couple minutes. If not for the blaring rap music and the idiots stumbling around in front of him, he would have been quite comfortable. Sasuke thought he felt a little lightheaded and dizzy, though. Maybe he was just tired.

“Sasuke…” Juugo said. “I've noticed you've been a little more…toned down lately. You have a change of heart? Close call?"

He wondered what, exactly, Juugo was referring to. Had he really been acting differently? Maybe Juugo noticed that for the past week, he'd no longer been showing up to school with new items. He knew that Juugo had been keeping an eye on him in those regards.

"I need to be careful if I ever want to set foot inside a decent college," Sasuke answered with a shrug.

The linebacker sighed, reclining into the soft back of the sofa.

"You know, Sasuke… Out of everyone in our demented little group, you definitely have the best chances. You really should be careful."

Sasuke frowned and nodding, supposing that Juugo might have been right. As they sat in renewed silence, the dizziness only seemed to worsen. Juugo struck up conversation, and, not wanting to set off false alarms, Sasuke responded. Yet before Sasuke knew it, he encountering a slight nausea every time he would turn his head. Yet he still took in Juugo's words, nodding slowly.

He engaged Juugo in small talk as the minutes passed, Sasuke's responses growing increasingly terse. Like a flip of a switch, he felt like he was no longer present. It was not him who was at this party. He was watching, as a spectator. He felt entirely detached from his surroundings, a slurred voice echoing in his head every now and again as it spoke. Sasuke recognized the voice it as his own.

“Hold up a minute,” Sasuke told Juugo with slight slur.

Feeling nauseous, Sasuke made his way to the kitchen to get a glass of water, grazing a coffee table with his hip on the way. Pouring the water was quite an effort, considering that there suddenly seemed to be two sinks instead of one in Kabuto's kitchen. Facing the window by the sink, Sasuke discreetly covered his right eye. One sink.

Sasuke didn't understand this. He had only had one beer, after all. How could his tolerance possibly be this low? Something wasn't adding up. He returned to sit next to Juugo, and it didn’t even seem like Juugo noticed him. Even Juugo's eyes were glassy now, his responses vacant and delayed. Suddenly, the four of them seemed hit pretty hard by the liquor. Sasuke kept to himself silently, giving only one word responses to any questions asked. His brain operated very slowly, fogged with these new sensations and a sense of nervousness. Finally, he leaned over to Juugo, slurring at him.

"Juugo..."

"Yeah?"

Sasuke frowned.

"Somethin's wrong. I feel out of it."

Juugo faced Sasuke, his eyes lidded.

"Huh? Oh, me too."

Suddenly, Sasuke sluggish mind had a revelation. He stumbled up to Kabuto, tugging him by his sleeve angrily. Their group of five was huddling together now, Suigetsu, Karin, Sasuke, and Juugo all vegged on the couch until Sasuke made his move. They were all within earshot.

"What did'ya put in the beers?"

Kabuto smirked.

"Consider it a party favor."

So he’d been right.

"Ya didn't answer."

Kabuto sighed, rolling his eyes.

"GHB."

Sasuke simply gaped back at him. Their parties up to date had been similar: booze, weed, and possibly pills. How could Kabuto find something as unusual as GHB? But there was an even more relevant question here.

"Why the fuck would ya do that?"

Kabuto shook his head, waving his hand to appease Sasuke.

"Don't trip out. People use GHB for fun all the time. It's pricey shit, but you four are my closer circle, after all. So just sit back and enjoy the ride."

Kabuto walked away. The only thing that Sasuke knew about GHB was that it could impair your memory, cause you to lose consciousness, and it was known as "the date rape drug." To say the least, this did nothing to reassure him. Hell, he'd only started drinking just over a year ago; he was entirely out of his element. Suigetsu began to laugh, loudly. He formed his hand into a point, throwing it at the ceiling like a rocket.

"Woo! Lift off!"

This was bad. He had to get out of here. Maybe Kabuto did only drug them to get them to loosen up, or for shits and giggles. But that was not a risk Sasuke was willing to take. He nudged Juugo.

"We should leave."

Juugo shook his head.

"Staying here's safer than me tryin' to drive. I'd prolly crash."

Sasuke supposed Juugo had a point, but it did nothing to relieve the sense of foreboding brewing in his gut. His nausea worsened, and his head began to ache. Sasuke found that his blinks were becoming longer and longer. Fussing around with leaving the party seemed like a bother, and he was exhausted.

He scanned the room. Karin and Suigetsu had blacked out on the sofa. How much had Kabuto given them? Juugo did not appear to be in danger of blacking out, since he'd been nowhere near as drunk as the other two before being drugged. But he did appear rather sluggish. Regardless, Juugo was 6'4" and had a good sixty pounds on Sasuke. When Sasuke caught himself nodding off, he decided that he had to leave. This was just too dangerous.

Placing his ego aside, Sasuke clumsily asked anyone who owned a car for a ride home, explaining that he wasn't feeling well. Unfortunately, not a single person was sober enough to drive. It was just before ten, and the guests likely weren't expecting to leave until the early hours of the morning. In the past, Juugo had been Sasuke's designated driver, but that wasn't flying tonight. The room was spinning, and Sasuke was starting to feel desperate. He finally approached Kabuto, who was the only relatively sober person at the party.

"Kabuto, 'm sick. I need to go home."

Kabuto frowned.

"You're already leaving? You've barely been here a couple hours."

Sasuke refused to budge. He wouldn't be manipulated or guilted into staying. If Kabuto had wanted him to stay, he would've offered Sasuke the substance like any even remotely reasonable human being. Sasuke did not appreciate being deceived into trying a hard drug. He believed it was more than clear that he would've rejected it.

"Take me home."

Kabuto laughed, putting his hand on Sasuke's shoulder and facing him.

"No."

Sasuke had nothing to say. He would have argued, but as disoriented as he was, a grade schooler would've posed a more formidable threat. He whipped Kabuto's hand off of his shoulder and staggered to the door, grabbing his black hoodie jacket as he left and slammed the door.


	15. Chapter 15

Sasuke hoped that a roaming police officer wouldn't pick him up as he approached the bus stop, swaying from side to side as his head spun. He'd never taken the bus from Kabuto's house to his own, so he was unfamiliar with the route. He studied the diagram nailed to the stop pole through squinted eyes, trying to make out and process the words as they circled around each other. His memory was failing him, so he would have to focus closely on both the route number and the correct stop. He sunk his teeth into his lip, trying to fight down the waves of nausea pouring up his stomach.

He hadn't wanted to go home like this, but what were the alternatives? He wouldn't dare call Itachi in this state. He didn't want to trouble him. Even if this weren't the case, Itachi was hours away. By the time Itachi arrived, Sasuke could very well be passed out on the side of the road. He couldn’t call Naruto either. Like hell could he give Naruto bus routes and directions to wherever he was when he couldn't even see straight. Wait… What was the route number again? He sat down by the pole; it was far too much effort to stand.

He was tempted to tuck himself away somewhere obscure and sit out most of his high to preserve his dignity. But what if some cop found him passed out on the ground? Or maybe someone even more dangerous than a cop. He also knew very little about GHB, or how long it would stay in his system. Was it possible to overdose on it? What if someone tried to mug him? He wasn’t in the best of areas. He felt so helpless, and he tried to ignore the feelings of anxiety plaguing his mind. His brain was sluggish enough as is; he needed to keep his wits about him.

Juugo hadn't seemed anywhere near as high as he was. Now he remembered... After he was put on the highest dose of Zoloft, drinking became an entirely different experience for him. He became drunk faster, and it hurt his stomach. In fact, his psychiatrist told him not to drink it with alcohol at all. To Sasuke’s credit, he had cut down after that. It made sense that other drugs like GHB would affect him differently as well. Of course, Kabuto could not have been expected to know that, but this made little difference to Sasuke.

As Sasuke saw the bus coming from about a block away, he glanced at his phone and, squinting his eyes, noted that it was just short of eleven. It was difficult for him to judge how much time had passed otherwise. Whether five, fifteen, or fifty minutes had passed on the way to the bus stop was beyond him. Fortunately, Itachi wasn't due home for several hours, but he did not look forward to facing Naruto like this. As the bus arrived, Sasuke pulled himself back upright using the pole. He flashed his bus card and trudged down to the last row, falling onto the seat and pulling his hood over his head to avoid being seen.

The nausea in his stomach was soon joined by a sharp pain in his lower gut. He curled into himself, becoming small as he held his stomach. Sasuke began to regret his choice to take the back row when the bus jostled every time it hit an uneven spot of pavement, the teen barely refraining from vomiting. What was happening to his body? He was disoriented and in horrible pain. He tried to ignore his nervousness. It wasn't like this for everyone, right?

From observing the other three, he thought that his Zoloft could've had something to do with it. That was reassuring in one way, since this had likely not been Kabuto's intended effect. However, it made him wonder what else was in store for him as the drug ran its course. For a moment, he worried that he would pass out right on the bus. It took all of his discipline to stay alert, and he felt an immense relief when his stop was finally called.

Through double vision, he made out several familiar intersections. This was a relief, as he finally knew his way, but also a little unsettling. This particular part of the city was heavily patrolled by police. As if his thoughts had spoken, he was blinded by flashing red and blue lights zooming down the street in front of him. His mind, now stunted and prone to paranoia, wondered if they were coming for him. The car zipped past without paying him so much as a second thought. Clearly, Sasuke was not the most important thing on their agenda.

He had to be getting home quickly now. Although that cop was obviously preoccupied, he might've let others know that there was some kid stumbling around, alone and drugged, at eleven at night. Maybe this was a little paranoid, given how urgently the car had been barreling down the street, but he figured that he couldn't be too careful.

Aside from that, he wasn't sure how much longer he could stay on his feet. He could not rest. Each footstep was forced. Finally, he stumbled up to his stoop, accidentally kicking the stair in front of him. Keys scraped against metal as they missed the keyhole. Sasuke finally succeeded in opening the door, feeling very pleased to be in the warmth and safety of his own home. He just hoped that Itachi hadn't come home early tonight. Through some effort, he jerked the keys out of the keyhole and shut the door.

The kitchen chair squeaked as Sasuke yanked it outward, collapsing and leaning forward on the table. He rested his forehead on his hand, kneading his temples as he groaned in pain. However, this wasn't to last as Sasuke's nausea finally got the better of him. He raced up the stairs, taking two steps at a time, and swung the toilet seat up. His stomach panged brutally as he finally gave in and vomited, his shoulders tense. He had not had time to close the door, and he heard footsteps behind him.

"Shit, S'uke. Someone partied a little hard tonight."

Sasuke would've been more embarrassed if he weren't in so much pain. He shooed Naruto away, but the blond refused to leave. Glued to the toilet, Sasuke couldn't exactly force him, and he couldn't find the strength to yell at him. The suffering intensified as he began to dry heave, and Sasuke’s shirt was damp with sweat. Naruto cringed at the painful noises Sasuke was making, lifting Sasuke's hair out of his face and petting his forehead. Sasuke wished he would stop being so damned nice and leave him alone during such an unflattering moment.

"Sasuke, are you...sure you're okay?"

"Ye..."

Any attempts to speak elicited a powerful wave of nausea, so he merely nodded his head. Naruto watched Sasuke apprehensively, the concern on his face evident. In several minutes, Sasuke's body seemed to have emptied all of its contents. This, of course, seemed to take much longer to Sasuke. His stomach was already beginning to feel better, but the bathroom walls were still lengthening and shortening. He felt as if something was pushing him from side to side, and his legs were numb and tingly. He panted over the toilet bowl, his face deathly pale.

Naruto guided him into the bedroom, one hand on each shoulder as Sasuke's numb feet dragged over each other. Sasuke fell into his bed with a huff.

"Jesus Christ, how much did you drink?" Naruto asked, looking down at Sasuke in shock and concern.

"A beer," Sasuke replied weakly.

Naruto paused before speaking.

"I don't think one beer can do that."

Sober, this would have been against Sasuke's better judgment. As always, he would've wanted to keep Naruto separate from the other attributes of his life. But in his current state, his inhibitions were silent.

"One of my friends put somethin' in it."

Lying hadn't even occurred to Sasuke. He had no concept of secrecy, as most of his energy was being dedicated to staying conscious.

"What?! Well, what was it?"

"GHB," he admitted, his breathing becoming long as he closed his eyes.

Naruto gaped, momentarily at a loss for words. He'd been taught about that in his eighth grade health class. The only thing he remembered about it was that it was used to knock people out. Why would someone drug Sasuke? Had they wanted to do something to him?

"No offense, but your friends are fucking douchebags."

"'M aware," Sasuke groused.

Naruto sat next to Sasuke, watching Sasuke's face as his eyes shut, face into the pillow. Naruto sharply nudged his back, but Sasuke didn't stir. His pale forehead was sweaty, and his lips were cold.

"Sasuke?"

His eyes were shut tight.

"Sasuke, you're scaring me..."

Naruto's voice was urgent as he nudged Sasuke, causing Sasuke to groan back at him.

"I have no idea what this drug does or how dangerous it is, but I'm not letting you fall asleep."

Sasuke nodded, allowing Naruto to flip him onto his back and prop his head up against the wall with a pillow. He weakly sipped at the glass of water Naruto placed by his bedside. Sasuke had no idea what he would be doing right now had Naruto not been here, and he was immensely grateful for his presence. Naruto was lying on his side next to Sasuke, chattering at him as he attempted to keep him alert. Sasuke only caught about half of it, but he did his best to focus.

Almost two hours had passed since Sasuke came home. Naruto's words were beginning to make more sense to him, and he was able to comfortably respond through a mild slur. Sasuke lifted himself out of bed and washed his mouth out. He brushed his teeth thoroughly. Afterward, he swigged Listerine for much longer than was probably necessary. That felt much better. He returned back to the bed with unsure footsteps. Naruto lay down next to him, allowing himself to relax after Sasuke had improved.

"What kind of people are you hanging out with, Sasuke?"

His wit was slow, and even sober, he wasn't sure he would've known how to answer that.

"Douchebags, remember?"

Sasuke's voice would go in and out, between echoing in his skull and sounding somewhat normal. He was beginning to sober up, but his progress was rocky. He had moments of lucidity scattered amidst a diminishing daze.

"I'm being serious."

Sasuke sighed, his glazed eyes looking back towards Naruto.

"Not the best crowd."

Naruto shook his head, rubbing Sasuke's temple.

"Do you know what I would do to be in your situation? You're lucky, Sasuke. Especially when you’ve got such a bright future, this seems like a waste."

Sasuke grunted, realizing he was right. He must've seemed so spoiled to Naruto right now. Some people would indeed kill to have the resources Sasuke had at his disposal. He wished that he could give Naruto these resources too. Naruto deserved them; it just wasn't fair.

"After this? I'm done."

Juugo was the only one amidst the lot of him that Sasuke was interested in staying in contact with. It just didn't seem worth it anymore.

"Make sure it stays that way. I've seen what it can do to people."

Sasuke nodded. He had a strong will, and he knew he could shake his crowd if he really wanted to. He didn’t need people. His friends took the edge off, but now he had Naruto to distract him. Sasuke believed his resolve would be much stronger with Naruto around, though he would not allow himself to abandon Juugo. Interactions might become a little complicated from here on out, but he'd consider the details while in a clearer state of mind.

"I'm sorry, Naruto. I didn't mean to do this to you. I feel like an idiot."

These were words that would have never been spoken had Sasuke been sober. He had only felt this way a handful of times, and even then, like hell would he admit it. It brought a smile out of Naruto as he stroked his fingers through Sasuke's bangs.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm sure you're smart enough not to take drinks from strangers. Your guard was down because it was your friend. Just be more careful next time."

"Huh?" Sasuke answered. He felt his high creeping back again, confusing him. His brain somehow ceased function half way into Naruto's sentences. It took a few seconds for him to replay Naruto's words in his mind and make sense out of them. "Never mind, I got it."

Sasuke sighed, wiping the sweat on his forehead away with his sleeve.

"God, this is so embarrassing," he spoke with the slightest slur.

He hated how honest this substance made him. The second he thought something, his mouth was speaking it. Admitting embarrassment had to be almost as embarrassing for Sasuke as what had happened beforehand. He decided to focus his eyes on a random book he'd placed on his desk. Naruto chuckled.

"Imagine how I feel. I sound like that all the time."

Sasuke smiled back at Naruto, appreciating the self-deprecating humor. It reassured him that he wasn't being judged.

"Hm. Good point."

"You asshole!" Naruto shouted through laughter. "You're supposed to contradict me! I was trying to make you feel better!"

Naruto playfully pushed Sasuke, which made Sasuke’s body feel like there were miraculously more food particles that needed to be abruptly purged. Sasuke quickly held his stomach.

"Ugh, don't do that," he groaned.

"Ah, sorry…"

Sasuke frowned, rubbing at his sore temples. Naruto had told him to be more careful next time. Up until he realized he'd been drugged, he thought he was playing it safe.

"I usually have at least a couple drinks, but I didn't want to disappoint Itachi again. I had nothing until they finally talked me into one beer, which was enough I guess," Sasuke mumbled.

That's what really disturbed Sasuke. It would have been one thing if he were being knowingly reckless and ended up like this, but this showed him that his "careful" was not careful enough. He could've had several beers, some hard liquor, smoked some weed… Hell, maybe he could've even done some coke with the college students, though he'd never considered it for an instant. But no, he stayed in a corner reluctantly entertaining drunkards over a pack of cigarettes until he decided to have a mere eight ounces of beer.

Sasuke took a sip of water, trying to focus his eyes on the glass as he held it in front of his face. He would never have been so talkative in any other situation. He wasn't attempting to make excuses. In any other state of mind, those words would have never been anything but thoughts.

"That was me trying to be careful. I get it now though. Like you say, I just shouldn't put myself in these situations."

Naruto nodded, glad that Sasuke was understanding his situation. He just hoped that these revelations wouldn't be forgotten come morning.

"I'll hold you to that."

Naruto took Sasuke's water cup and took a swig out of it, feeling a little thirsty himself. Wasn't Sasuke a little young to be drinking anyhow? He'd never heard Sasuke mention drinking before tonight, actually. For all he knew, Sasuke could've never had a sip of alcohol in his life. He always seemed to be finding out new things about Sasuke, and it made him wonder what else he still didn’t know.

"Do you drink a lot?"

Maybe it wasn't the best idea for Sasuke to drink, especially at his age. But Naruto knew how Sasuke hated to be lectured. They'd made enough progress for one night, so he'd let it rest for now.

"No… Not really. Only with friends, and even then only a little."

At least this much was reassuring. Naruto perked a brow, trying not to let his curiosity get the best of him.

"Have you ever been drunk?"

"Once. Smashed," Sasuke admitted.

Naruto rested his head on his hand, intrigued when he felt he really shouldn't have been.

"What was it like?"

Was it wrong to be curious? He'd seen people drunk many times. Hell, his most recent foster parent seemed more than fond of drinking. But it had never been something he was comfortable inquiring about. It rarely came up in daily conversation, and even if it had, it was a rather humiliating question to ask anyone, especially an adult. Sasuke, however… He was comfortable with him.

"Horrible. Don't know what people see in it."

Naruto tilted his head.

"Really? I couldn't figure out whether it was good or bad. Some people start laughing and others start crying or yelling… It's one confusing liquid."

Sasuke shrugged.

"I just don't like not knowing what I'm doing."

Like now, for instance. He only had partial control over what he was saying and understanding, and he hated it. Fortunately, he seemed to slowly be gaining awareness. It could not come quickly enough.

Sasuke needed to have a certain barrier that separated him from the outside world, and substances temporarily demolished this carefully constructed wall. A buzz was fine, but anything beyond that brought him more discomfort than pleasure. He knew his limits and stuck by them religiously.

"You've never been drunk?" Sasuke asked quietly.

Naruto smiled nervously, feeling a bit innocent now.

"Nope! Some other bum offered me beer once, but he was kinda creepy so I told him no. Though I've had wine coolers before."

"I see," Sasuke nodded. "Those are very sweet."

Naruto squinted his eyes and scratched his chin.

"Yeah, but they're a little too strong for me."

Sasuke couldn't help but smile, but he said nothing. He wondered if Naruto knew how comparatively weak those things really were, though perhaps this was for the best. What would a drunk Naruto would be like? As if he weren't enough of a handful already…

Sasuke’s vision began to blur again. When would this stuff finally leave his system? He began to cough, and he wasn't sure why. He took a long gulp of water, and before he knew it, his head was in Naruto's lap. He wasn't sure how this had happened, his memory failing him. He might have ordinarily protested, but he allowed it to comfort him, nuzzling into Naruto's leg as he breathed softly against it.

A few minutes must have passed, from Sasuke's judgment. Naruto would look down at Sasuke occasionally, words obviously on the tip of his tongue. Sasuke's clammy fingers clawed at Naruto's snagged sleeve as the nausea returned. Sasuke's discomfort was obvious to Naruto as his pale muscles flinched. Naruto finally bent over, kissing Sasuke's sweat-sheened forehead.

"I hope I didn't show it much, but you had me really scared."

Unfocused eyes shifted up to Naruto in response. In this moment, Naruto reminded him of his mother, nursing him back to health through a fever with a peck to the forehead. Naruto didn't speak much now, staring at Sasuke calmly for a few moments. Naruto seemed pretty exhausted himself, dark bags under his eyes with his hair unkempt, even by Naruto’s standards. Their eyes caught each other's for several seconds.

Perhaps, in this crazy state of mind, Sasuke was able to feel more than he normally did. An affection for Naruto flared up in his chest. His emotions had done a lot of funny things that night, but he finally felt relaxed and safe. He felt the inklings of something that might be known as love, but as drugged as he was, his emotions muddled together. He didn't know what he was feeling; he had no words for his thoughts and emotions. Almost instinctively, he reached out towards Naruto, tugging him in by his shirt collar and pressing a resolute kiss against his lips. Sasuke felt a surge of what could only be known as contentment as their lips touched, his eyes shut tight.

For a moment, Naruto's body seemed to fail him. From the beginning of their arrangement, he had tried to ignore how badly it hurt to be so near Sasuke, yet so far. They shared a room every day, yet he knew so little of Sasuke's school, his friends, or his brother. They shared a bed, yet they'd never shared a kiss. He loved and hated waking up with Sasuke's head on his shoulder, because it was so easy to pretend, to deny the truth. Sasuke handled everyone with distance. Why would Naruto be an exception? Whether he was falling for Sasuke or not… Sasuke was who he was, and it was best to just accept that fact.

And what did Sasuke know about Naruto? Even less, perhaps. He knew the laughing Naruto, the joking Naruto, (the hungry Naruto). As little as Naruto knew about Sasuke's present, Sasuke knew even less of Naruto's past. If they started that sort of relationship, Naruto would eventually feel obligated to face his demons and explain what events in his life led him to meet Sasuke in Saint Magdalene's soup kitchen in rags. How would Sasuke's feelings change once he knew Naruto’s secrets?

Naruto kept his lips lightly shut, but he didn't resist either. His mind seemed to visit a million places, yet nowhere all at once. For a long time, this had been exactly what he wanted. This was what he'd dreamed of. But Sasuke was high. His voice was still slurring. Did he even understand what he was doing? Did he understand how much it would hurt him if Sasuke pretended that nothing had happened the next day? It was stuff like this that gave him false hope. Naruto pushed Sasuke away, smiling sadly as he addressed him.

"If you're going to kiss me, have it mean something."

Normally, Sasuke would've been better at hiding his hurt. This wasn't like the casual, meaningless kisses or touches he'd given out of boredom, recklessness, and hormones at parties. For the first time in what seemed so long, this _meant_ something to him. It figured that this would also be his first time being turned down. He'd even dreamed of kissing Naruto, among a wide range of other acts. He knew how much Naruto liked him, so he hadn't expected his first taste of rejection to be tonight. Yet he recovered quickly.

Fortunately, he was at least sober enough to understand where Naruto was coming from. Naruto wasn't the type of guy to do something like this when it seemed so tarnished. Sasuke guessed that Naruto was somewhat of a romantic at heart. And he understandably needed to know that this wasn't the drugs talking. Sasuke felt a little regretful over acting so impulsively.

"I'll show you what I meant later,” Sasuke said, intertwining his fingers with Naruto’s and smiling up at him weakly. “I can wait."

Naruto smiled back, still both hesitant and skeptical. There was no way a guy like Sasuke could feel that way about him. Sasuke had dozens of people to choose from. How could someone as intelligent, attractive, and popular as Sasuke ever want him? Naruto would not allow Sasuke's actions to get his hopes up. It was simply too good to be true.


	16. Chapter 16

Sasuke felt a sharp pain in his gut as his head panged. A garbage truck had stopped in front of his house, its loud mechanical whirring pulling Sasuke out of his deep slumber. Naruto let off a soft snore but didn’t rouse. Not surprising. Sasuke glanced at his alarm clock. It was nearly noon, a Saturday morning.

He gingerly navigated around Naruto to sit up in bed. As he elevated his upper half, his head spun for just a moment. He was groggy, his stomach still feeling sensitive. Rubbing the skin between his eyebrows, he crossed the room towards the bathroom. He felt like shit and had no idea why. How could he have slept in so late?

Once he’d reached his bathroom sink, he turned on the hot water, looking up at the mirror as he waited to wash his face. With a mental wince, he beheld his reflection. A pallor was on his face, his unkempt hair matted to his sweaty forehead. What the hell had happened to him? This didn’t feel like a hangover.

He squinted, staring at himself in the mirror, straining to remember. Yesterday had been Friday, the date of Kabuto’s twenty-first birthday party. He was sure that he’d arrived with Juugo and company, so he tried to focus on what he knew the inside of Juugo’s car to look like.

Finally, he remembered Suigetsu’s new tattoo, the loser that tried to serenade him with freestyle rap, and then a red Solo cup of beer. He remembered regretting coming at all, wanting to escape because he was furious with Kabuto for some reason. Suigetsu’s left arm lay askew off the sofa, his unconscious body heavy as a rock…

_“Don’t trip out. People use GHB for fun all the time.”_

Shit. They’d been drugged.

Sasuke clearly remembered the insouciant look on Kabuto’s face as he spoke those words and waved Sasuke away so trivially, a vivid and crisp memory amongst an indiscernible fog. What he wouldn’t give to transport to that very moment, his sober self breaking Kabuto’s glasses against his face. He had no memory of what seemed like a sizeable gap of time after this instant, but Sasuke didn’t trust his perception of time. He couldn’t judge which of his memories had occurred within an hour and which had occurred within a minute. Sasuke hadn’t known what he was doing. He had been completely vulnerable, and there was no telling what could have happened, or perhaps what _did_ happen, to Sasuke.

Nausea and all-encompassing fatigue plagued Sasuke as he tried not to vomit on the bus. Is that how he got home? He didn’t remember entering his house. He’d gotten painfully sick. His next memory was lying in his bed, with Naruto bringing him a glass of water and fussing over him like a mother hen. These were the only memories of those night where he actually felt safe, just lying in bed with Naruto as he pet back the hair on his forehead. And then… Holy shit.

So, he’d kissed his best friend. And he’d been rejected. While he wasn’t as pleased about that last part, he felt oddly comfortable with what had happened after the shock subsided. Actually, he even felt a little bit relieved, although uncertain about how Naruto would react to this. He had been in the process of understanding his emotions since that night when Naruto had comforted him after he had fought with his brother. Now things were much clearer.

Well, given his own reflection, Sasuke made the decision to forego washing his face and instead started the hot water in the shower. He entered quickly, steaming water washing the grit off of him as Sasuke took a deep breath. He knew what they both felt. But should he act on it? Even if he decided to act on it, which was quite the enticing prospect, would Naruto?

Given that Naruto was living with him, this could become complicated. He’d thought about this. He knew that he could control his emotions and treat Naruto decently, even should things go sour. Although how much longer could Naruto possibly stay with him? He couldn’t lose track of Naruto. For the first time in quite a while, he’d found someone he passionately cared about. Even if it might hurt the both of them later if they parted ways, what would it be like to indulge upon such a rarity both of their lives? The opportunity of a new breed of bond. It was perhaps reckless. But these days, it felt like it was a struggle just to dodge the nadirs of depression, let alone to actively pursue happiness. For once, he felt like he had a shot.

Finishing his shower, he toweled off and discreetly grabbed a pair of pants and a tank top from his bedroom. The sun had warmed the house, and Sasuke was still slightly flushed from the heat of his shower. He needed something to eat something to settle his stomach. He needed water. He began his descent down the stairs and thought that he heard his bed creak. Before doing anything in the kitchen, he grabbed a large glass and filled it up with tap water. He swallowed half of the cup’s contents in a few deep swallows. As he searched the kitchen for something that seemed appetizing, he heard Naruto’s footsteps approach. In what seemed like hardly any time, Naruto had joined him in the kitchen.

“Good morning,” Naruto said, casting Sasuke a polite nod.

Naruto stood in front of him, and Sasuke glanced back. For all the thinking he’d done this morning, he found himself to be frustratingly short on words. Naruto was waiting for a response, wearing Sasuke’s plaid pajama pants and a white T-shirt.

“Good morning,” Sasuke answered him, nodding stiffly.

Sasuke cooked for them, a slightly late lunch which they called brunch to make themselves feel less lazy. He texted Suigetsu to check up on his other three friends, who were all fine apparently. Naruto set up a couple small tray tables in front of the TV as Sasuke cooked, placing them on opposite ends of the couch. Sasuke finally served him some scrambled eggs cooked with cheddar cheese, placing the plates on the trays.

“Thank you,” Naruto told Sasuke, smiling back at him.

“No problem.”

Sasuke began to browse the channels. Naruto took a seat, serving himself a plate of the same.

“Sasuke, can I have some orange juice?”

“You don’t have to ask for permission, dumbass,” Sasuke answered, rolling his eyes.

“Sorry,” Naruto answered with a slight hint of nervous laughter. “Do you want some too?”

Sasuke called Naruto a dumbass, and Naruto _apologized_?

“Yeah, sure.”

Naruto returned with two glasses of orange juice, both of them eating silently as Sasuke searched for something decent to watch.

“I really like the cheese you have,” Naruto blurted out.

“…Thanks?”

“It melts really well. The cheese my last foster parent would buy never seemed to melt. I’d try to melt cheese on giant soft pretzels in the microwave, but it always came out blocky.”

“I see.”

“Not that I’m complaining, of course,” Naruto continued. “I was just saying that your cheese is a nice luxury.”

“We got it at the dollar store,” Sasuke grunted.

“Oh…” Naruto trailed off. “Well, this cheese was a sweet find in that case.”

Sasuke merely grunted. Naruto was so far on the other end of the couch.

“Dammit, nothing good is on,” Sasuke mumbled under his breath.

Commercial after commercial. The next featured a woman in a bikini eating a juicy burger, the sauce dribbling sauce down her cleavage.

Sasuke sighed, “I’ve never understood these burger porn commercials.”

It was rare for Sasuke to make the first attempt at humor, or even to care about awkward silences. It felt strange to him to actually care what someone else was thinking and how they felt.

“Heh.”

Naruto’s response seemed shallow and almost unhappy. This probably had something to do with last night. He remembered that look Naruto had given him after he’d attempted to kiss him, and it seemed similar to his expressions now - the same sad smile. They were both silent now as the seconds passed. He knew that a crush on Naruto’s end did not necessarily mean a desire for a relationship. It was tempting to turn a blind eye, to avoid all the awkwardness. But he got the feeling that this wasn’t something he should neglect. How long were they going to ignore the eight ton elephant in the room?

Sasuke closed his eyes and breathed in deeply before choosing his next words.

“If you were wondering, I remember.”

Sasuke’s voice was stark, breaking the quiet between them.

“Ah…”

“I want you to know that I don’t regret it.”

Naruto nodded, staring at the carpet. Sasuke was getting sick of this.

“What’s with you?” Sasuke asked, frustration in his tone. “If you hated it that much, you can say so.”

Naruto shook his head, eyes wide.

“No, that’s not it at all.”

Sasuke tried not to sound annoyed. He wanted to be patient, especially after what he’d put Naruto through last night.

“Then what’s the problem? You’ve been acting weird all day.”

Naruto seemed afraid to look at Sasuke. He fumbled with the bottom seam of his T-shirt.

“When you say you don’t regret it, what do you mean?”

He wouldn’t pussyfoot around this. He’d had enough of this awkward bullshit. He frowned and turned off the TV, causing Naruto to steal a quick glance back at Sasuke in surprise. Sasuke had no problem staring directly into Naruto’s eyes. He’d never confessed romantic feelings to anyone before. He was used to always being harassed and pursued. Yet his ego could handle rejection, though he certainly prayed that Naruto would respond favorably.

“I mean that I’d kiss you again.”

“So...”

Naruto began to idly scratch at a scratch on his tray table’s finish, stalling as best he could. Sasuke, meanwhile, wished that Naruto would just get to the punch.

Naruto trailed, “Does that mean that you... _like_ like me?”

Sasuke stared at Naruto with an arched brow. _Like_ like? He could’ve sworn that he hadn’t heard anyone talk like that since grade school. Sasuke had _kissed_ Naruto. They slept in the same bed. What the hell else would that mean?

“You can be so dense sometimes, Uzumaki,” Sasuke sighed.

Quite apparently, Naruto was nothing short of baffled, as if he could hardly believe what was happening. Sasuke had no idea how it could have taken Naruto so long to piece this together, after everything that had occurred between them. How could he possibly be so oblivious?

“But... Why? Why me?”

Sasuke’s mouth hung open as he searched for words, but he was never good at articulating his thoughts, especially not when they involved this sort of subject matter. As if he had the ability to explain something like that...

“Don’t ask stupid questions.”

Naruto’s cheeks turned a light pink as he continued to stare at his lap. Things were finally coming out into the open... At least from Sasuke’s angle. He’d fessed up, and now he was in limbo. Any time now, some sort of real answer would be wonderful.

“Are you going to say anything worthwhile, or are you just going to keep staring at your crotch?”

Naruto looked back up at Sasuke, his eyes quickly averting when they contacted Sasuke’s confident orbs. Naruto puzzled at how Sasuke could seem so intimidating when he was in such a vulnerable position.

“I’m sorry, it’s just... I thought you were straight.”

So had he, actually. He’d had hints to the contrary since he was a child, but only recently had he become certain. He knew that many guys his age would’ve been concerned by this, but honestly, he didn’t give a damn.

“Doesn’t look like it.”

How the hell could Sasuke be so composed and brazen at such a time? In Sasuke’s situation, he would have been a ball of nerves. But this was just like Sasuke, and perhaps that was one of the things that drew him in. In Sasuke’s confidence, he found security.

“Are you sure?”

Sasuke frowned, understanding Naruto’s doubt. He had assumed that Naruto knew how Sasuke felt about him. He had no idea how Naruto could have missed the signs, but was it really such a shocker? The kid could be so spacey. But given that this was all new to Naruto, he realized that this must have been overwhelming for him.

“I know how I feel about you, Naruto. I’m not an uncertain sort of guy,” he insisted.

Naruto’s irises met Sasuke’s again, the bright blue seeming to quiver. But he was finally able to look back at him.

“I feel the same way about you,” Naruto admitted. “But isn’t it kind of…scary? Sooner or later, I’m going to have to leave. What if we never see each other again?”

Now it was Sasuke’s eyes that looked away. This was a despised fact that he was very well aware of. He hated losing people, but this was the only thing in his life that he’d actually been excited about in quite a while. Perhaps both of them were scared.

“Yeah... I’m honestly surprised it lasted this long.”

Their faces both seemed to drag, neither particularly uplifted by the sentiment. Sasuke wouldn’t leave it on that note.

“What’s gonna happen to us?” Naruto asked, his voice tinged with fear.

Sasuke wouldn’t let on that he was perhaps every bit as frightened as Naruto. He’d really made himself vulnerable this time, and it was so unlike him. He _really_ cared about this guy. He could possibly even get his first dose of teenage heartbreak, but he was even more concerned about Naruto.

“I don’t know, but even when my brother finds you… We need to decide what our plan of action is soon, but I _will_ figure something out. I doubt you’d move farther than the trains run, and I buy month passes anyway. I could afford to ride it every day if I had to, to make sure you’re okay. I would.”

Naruto paused, astonished that Sasuke would go this far out of his way, for him of all people. Sasuke had always seemed selfish, but when his very few loved ones came into the picture, Naruto was astonished by how much his personality could shift. Considering everything that Sasuke had already done for him, he doubted it was just talk. It was nothing like Sasuke to make false promises.

Whether Sasuke could figure out living arrangements for him was debatable, but Sasuke always seemed so sure of himself... Maybe he really could. He hated to admit how many times Sasuke had bailed him out of trouble. Dammit, it wasn’t his fault that he was stuck in such a vulnerable situation! Naruto suddenly realized that he had been forgetting to breathe, his lower lip trembling.

Sasuke smiled.

“You look so scared when you do that.”

Naruto hmf’d back at him, wishing that Sasuke wouldn’t notice such things. He didn’t want to look feeble. He could hold his own.

“There’s a solution, Naruto,” Sasuke mumbled, turning fully towards Naruto. “We just have to find it.”

Naruto nodded, gritting his jaw as he internalized Sasuke’s words, memorized them. He looked towards Sasuke, his blue eyes finally searching for Sasuke’s gaze.

“I’m sorry I pushed you away last night. I think...I wanted it to be genuine _too_ much, so I didn’t know if I could take it if it wasn’t, you know?”

Naruto sighed, resting the side of his head against the pillow.

“That’s why I didn’t want to believe you liked me. It would’ve sucked too much if I was wrong.”

Sasuke nodded. As Naruto’s words were becoming stronger and more emotional, Sasuke seemed to be the one retreating. He didn’t know how to talk about things like this. Suddenly, he felt out of place. He was glad that Naruto had told him what he did, but Sasuke couldn’t express himself in return. His mind was racing, yet as always, he couldn’t find the words to explain himself. The only difference now was that if could’ve found those words, he might have actually considered speaking them.

“I should’ve known it was willful denial. Even you couldn’t be that stupid.”

Sasuke felt much more comfortable speaking like this. Sasuke took a long exhale, leaning in towards Naruto.

“But you really need to snap out of it now.”

He grasped Naruto’s hand in his own as he moved forward, pulling him in close and locking lips with him. It was nowhere near as easy when he was sober, but he couldn’t hesitate. He couldn’t get away with dipping his feet in the water here; he had to take the dive. His tongue confidently requested entrance as his hand worked up Naruto’s arm, reassuringly kneading the flesh of his forearm. Even as their lips touched, Sasuke could hardly believe that he was actually doing this.

Just like the night before, Naruto’s brain was on overload. There was no way this could be happening, after all of the months he had longed after Sasuke. Sasuke had a full night to sleep on matters, and he’d explained his interest both confidently and convincingly. He was sober and in a rational state of mind. So why was this happening? He supposed there was no limit to the amount of time he could spend second guessing the situation. He squeezed Sasuke’s arm back to calm his fears, meeting the paler boy halfway and opening his mouth. Against his will, Sasuke gave a low moan of approval.

Naruto seemed to have gotten a sudden gust courage, locking his fingers into the side of Sasuke’s thick locks and wrestling his tongue against Sasuke’s. He turned to face Sasuke, lifting his legs off the ground and onto the couch. The mood was flipping from loving and eager to hungry and lustful. This had been a long time coming, Sasuke thought. All of their awkwardness, the moments one caught the other staring, the times they’d fallen asleep on each other, the simple pecks on the back and forehead... They had all led up to this. As long as they had both waited, they seemed impatient now.

Kissing a man wasn’t so different. The flesh against Sasuke’s hands was rougher, and Naruto’s hair was shorter. Yet the psychological aspect of this was another story. A couple months ago, he would have never believed that he would fall for another man. It felt strange, oddly taboo, to be doing such a thing. In all honesty, it only aroused him more.

Naruto’s forehead clenched as their tongues entwined around each other, Sasuke’s smooth and pale lips momentarily sticking against Naruto’s rough ones. Sasuke tugged at Naruto’s lower lip with his teeth, causing Naruto to moan, twist the fabric of Sasuke’s shirt in his fist, and yank Sasuke closer. Naruto trailed kisses down Sasuke’s jawline, nibbling where it ended just below his ear. Frustrated by the tray tables that stood in their way, Sasuke shoved them aside. He leaned over on top of Naruto, who was now forced to lie on the couch. Sasuke’s knee rested between Naruto’s legs.

Naruto momentarily hitched as Sasuke’s hands ventured under his shirt, feeling along his chest and abdominals. He draped his arms over Sasuke’s back, allowing the other full access as he bit Sasuke’s earlobe and tugged. Sasuke appeared to take that as a challenge, jerking Naruto’s head back by wheat locks and licking down the front of his neck. Naruto’s Adam’s apple slid up and down with a hard swallow, Sasuke kissing it lightly as he felt a hardness begin to emerge by his knee. The larger of the two smirked, rubbing his knee gently against Naruto’s crotch to offer some friction, which Naruto gladly accepted.

Naruto grabbed either side of Sasuke’s shirt, bossily tugging it upwards. He wanted to feel Sasuke’s skin against him, wanting to see his taut muscles and his chest’s movement as he breathed. Sasuke returned the favor, guiding Naruto’s shirt over his head. Tanned abs clenched every time Naruto grinded minutely against Sasuke’s knee. Peppering kisses down the side of Sasuke’s neck, Naruto latched onto the flesh just inside of his shoulder and sucked.

They were going rather quickly, weren’t they? Sasuke had only expected to share a kiss, then perhaps find a way to reassure Naruto. Maybe they would slowly progress, leisurely moving from one body part to the next. He’d noticed Naruto staring many times before. Their encounters had been awkward and timid, almost endearing. He knew that they were attracted to each other, but he had yet to witness actual _lust_ from Naruto. As uncertain as Naruto had been this afternoon, he certainly hadn’t expected to see it today. Naruto was fighting back.

“God, Naru...”

Naruto smirked at Sasuke’s noises and the angry purple mark left behind. He had known that with Sasuke’s pale skin, a hickey couldn’t be missed. He wanted to mark Sasuke as his own, and he wanted Sasuke to remember what was happening now every time he saw it. Sasuke knew why Naruto was satisfied, and he didn’t mind it. In fact, he’d prefer to have some souvenir, to remember the details of this lazy Saturday for weeks. He’d have to return the favor to Naruto later. As their bodies moved together, bare shoulders and chests bumped.

Sasuke had never felt his emotions surge this way during an act as simple as making out. It was entirely new to him, both exhilarating and a little dizzying. His heart was beating so quickly. Sasuke dragged his palms down Naruto’s chest, pinching his nipple just after Naruto had marked him. His thumb rubbed his thumb over it apologetically as Naruto leaned back into his seat, the movement of his hips more pronounced now. Sasuke felt his own need rise between his legs, a sweat gathering around his forehead and shoulders.

Naruto kissed down Sasuke’s chest, swirling his tongue around his nipple and flattening it against the budding flesh. He kissed towards Sasuke’s stomach, his descent limited by their current posture. Sasuke dragged this thumb under Naruto’s waistband, only for Naruto to sharply direct his hand upwards. Sasuke understood Naruto’s reservations and didn’t push the other. Sasuke’s hormones had gotten the best of him in that moment, and he’d perhaps been premature. Thus, he was very confused when Naruto directed the Uchiha off of him so that he was now standing beside the couch, Naruto getting on his knees and pulling down Sasuke’s waistband.

Sasuke knew where this was going. Even for him, this felt like it was moving a little quickly. It seemed contradictory, since he had done this same act with girls he felt nothing for. But everything he did with Naruto had meaning. However, his hormones rampaging and his cock perking up more by the second, like hell was he going to stop him. It felt surreal, watching his best friend sliding his pajama pants down with his eager face staring hungrily between his legs.

Naruto smirked as Sasuke’s pants slid off, his cock bouncing free as he tugged the waistband down Sasuke’s ass. So, it seemed Sasuke had a penchant for going commando. Sasuke gasped quietly as the cold air hit the heated organ, hanging half erect and willing. How had Naruto become the leader? What happened to the stuttering, the insecurity? Before Sasuke had time to adjust, Naruto grasped Sasuke’s dick below the head and roughly licked over the tip.

“Shit...”

Sasuke’s fingers clawed into Naruto’s bare shoulders as his clenched eyes frowned downwards. Did Naruto even know what he was doing to him? Sapphire orbs glanced up at Sasuke’s face, observing triumphantly the expressions he was making. That answered Sasuke’s question.

He clenched his teeth, trying to remain silent as Naruto teasingly swirled his tongue around the head. His cock was beginning to swell and redden, becoming increasingly sensitive. Parallel red marks pronounced themselves on Naruto’s shoulder as Sasuke’s nails dragged against his skin.

Thin fingers found purchase in the thick hair on the crown of Naruto’s head. Sasuke was quickly becoming impatient, languidly pulling Naruto’s head closer into him. Naruto merely smirked and glanced up at him, reveling in the power he held over the younger male. Sasuke always seemed to be the one up front. He kept him off the streets, fed him, even initiated this exchange... But now Sasuke would need something from _him_. The expressions that displayed on Sasuke’s stubborn face were up to Naruto now.

Naruto finally took the bottom third of Sasuke’s cock into his mouth, moving his tongue back and forth over the roof of his mouth to create suction. Sasuke was still silent. This was becoming something of a power struggle, and Sasuke was persistent as always. It didn’t matter. Naruto was determined to force Sasuke into breaking his silence. He bobbed his head, dragging his tongue along the sensitive vein on the underside of Sasuke’s manhood. Sasuke’s bare toes squeezed against the ground as Naruto began to move more quickly, sucking harder. Sasuke might be able to keep his mouth shut, but his body was a dead giveaway. Who was that bastard fooling?

Naruto gently traced the pointer finger over the crease in Sasuke’s balls, ghosting it along each outwards curve afterwards. They were growing painfully hard, begging for release. Naruto began to tap them with the roughened tips of his fingers, the texture tingling and stimulating the sensitive flesh.

Sasuke emitted a low moan, despite himself. Naruto was...good at this, and Sasuke found himself wondering just how much experience he really had. They’d never really spoken about such topics. At this rate, this could end up being one of the best, if not _the_ best, blow jobs he’d ever received. It made sense, however, that a gay man would give better head than a high school female. After all, they had the same hardware. Sasuke would have rather died than admit this, but it made him wonder how his skills would compare to Naruto’s. Sasuke had never even done this before.

Naruto finally took as much of Sasuke in as his mouth would allow, his scarred cheeks hollowing and brilliant eyes closing in concentration as he pumped. Sasuke felt the tip of his cock hammer against the back of Naruto’s mouth, the pressure pulling beads of precum out of Sasuke’s swollen need. Sasuke swore through his pants.

“Fuck... Naru, I’m close...”

He’d come to love this nickname the other had given him, as simple as it was. It made him feel closer to Sasuke, Naruto moaning into Sasuke’s cock. Naruto circled the exposed portion near the base of Sasuke’s dick with his palm, pumping with his mouth and hand in unison. His entire organ now was engulfed, and Sasuke was powerless to stop the surges of pleasure racking his body.

“N-now...”

His vision flashed white as he heard himself moan more loudly than he could ever recall, the building pressure finally exploding into Naruto’s mouth. All of Sasuke’s efforts to silence his voice backfired at this very last moment, much to Naruto’s satisfaction. Naruto sucked the pearly substance away, Sasuke’s hips jerking unintentionally as several diminishing spurts followed. The Uchiha twitched as Naruto allowed Sasuke’s now flaccid cock to slide out of his mouth, his body buzzing loudly with the aftermath of his orgasm. Sasuke was right. Naruto really did know what he was doing.

Sasuke fell onto his knees. He wasted no time in roughly guiding Naruto’s face to his lips, his tongue lashed against Naruto’s molars, the roof of his mouth, any tissue it could find. Naruto’s tongue vied against it, jutting past the intruding muscle and finding its way back into the mouth of the Uchiha. Sasuke could taste himself in Naruto’s mouth, a dab of cum on the man’s chin smearing between them.

Their hungry kiss had not abated when Sasuke’s hand ventured downward, feeling Naruto’s stiff sex through the thin cloth of his pajama pants. As he had earlier, he attempted to ease down the waistband. However, just as before, Naruto quickly directed him away. Their lips parted, Sasuke speaking through a pant.

“What’s wrong? Aren’t you going to let me return the favor?”

It was odd that Naruto had just seemed so confident, as his face quickly flushed a dark pink. Here Sasuke thought that they’d gotten past all bashfulness.

“It’s just that... Up until now, not much was different than it would be with a girl. So it wasn’t that new to you.”

Sasuke arched a brow, exasperatedly encouraging the blond to continue.

“But you know, I got man parts down there.”

Seriously, the things that left this guy’s mouth... Sasuke deadpanned, wondering why he was really surprised.

“Yes, I took that into consideration,” Sasuke responded sarcastically.

Naruto’s eyes fell away as he searched for the confidence to continue.

“What if...it’s too much? You might wake up tomorrow and wonder what you were thinking. What if I scare you away?”

Sasuke cradled Naruto’s face in his large palm, running his thumb along the raised skin on Naruto’s cheek.

“I don’t scare so easily. Believe me, I know what I want.”

Sasuke dragged his hand down the front of Naruto’s hips, stopping at the needy flesh between his thighs. Their foreheads leaning together, Sasuke smirked sensuously at the heat radiating outwards.

“Besides, look at how hard you are. Do you really want to deny yourself this?”

Naruto flushed a darker red as attention was brought to his arousal. Of _course_ he didn’t want to deny himself this! This had been the stuff that fueled his fantasies, and holding out now was nothing short of painful. But all the same...

“I...really think we should wait. Just to be sure.”

Sasuke sighed. Modesty wasn’t a frequent trait for Naruto, and of course it had to rear its head now of all times. Sasuke wished that Naruto would stop being so bashful and just believe him. Sasuke would know his own feelings better than anyone else, but Naruto seemed to doubt him every step of the way. He’d even seen Naruto naked several times before; this was silly. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to be too frustrated, the way Naruto fidgeted awkwardly. Honestly, there were aspects of this situation that made Sasuke nervous as well.

“Okay, we’ll wait.”

Sasuke moved forward, kissing Naruto’s neck and brushing his lips against Naruto’s ear as he whispered, “But what kind of lover would I be if I left you unsatisfied?”

Naruto’s heart thud as Sasuke spoke. Whenever he felt too optimistic about the bed or the closer moments they shared, Naruto reminded himself that Sasuke was just a friend. His best friend, actually, but still just a friend. Now Sasuke had just called Naruto his lover. It still sounded foreign to him, but it was something he could get used to. This wasn’t messing around, was it? This wasn’t friends with benefits. No, they were lovers.

Sasuke reached down, wrapping his hand around Naruto’s clothed dick and giving it an experimental pump.

“Is this alright?”

Naruto whimpered at the contact, his hips unconsciously pushing his member into Sasuke’s hands. Given that Naruto refused to expose himself, Sasuke was somewhat limited in his approach. Nonetheless, as he shimmied his palm up Naruto’s shaft and tapped the tip of his cock with his thumb, Naruto’s body jerked with a needy whine. Sasuke knew he’d have fun playing with him.

He loved the fact that Naruto was wearing his clothes right now, the two kneeling in front of each other. Sasuke made the fortunately smooth pajama pants Naruto was wearing comfortably taut against his cock to avoid unwanted friction. He speckled his fingertips on the opposing hand from Naruto’s tailbone up his bare spine, causing the blond to arch sharply against his touch. Meanwhile, he pumped Naruto’s cock through the fabric. God, it was so extraordinarily tempting to tell Sasuke to do away with the pants. It felt good, but he knew that he could be feeling so much _more_.

Naruto was already almost completely erect. Sasuke hoped, perhaps against reason, that in the heat of the moment, Naruto would see those damned pants as the nuisance they really were. This teased Sasuke almost as much as it teased Naruto. He wanted to force Naruto to make those same sounds he had as he finally reached orgasm. He wanted to _taste_ Naruto.

He did owe Naruto some repayment, however. Never halting the movement of his palm against Naruto’s sex, he kissed down the side of Naruto’s neck and sucked at his shoulder. Calloused, tan hands quickly fastened onto Sasuke’s well-managed locks, a groan sounding as Naruto allowed himself to feel owned. Naruto’s skin was both darker and thicker, so much to Sasuke’s chagrin, Naruto’s mark was not as evident as his own. Sasuke had always been an easy bruiser.

Sasuke kissed down Naruto’s chest, the lidded blue eyes staring down at his feathery hair. Sasuke dragged his tongue around Naruto’s areola, painstakingly avoiding the nipple as he softly blew on the dampened skin. The resulting cold caused Naruto’s nipple to perk, Sasuke taking the opportunity to follow a lick cross it with a quick nibble. Naruto’s breath caught at the slight pang. Placing one hand on Sasuke’s shoulder for balance, Naruto began to longingly thrust into Sasuke’s quickly operating hand.

Sasuke leaned down, smirking at the sight of precum staining the front of Naruto’s pants. A blush spanned Naruto’s cheeks, to the very tips of his ears.

“Shut up, bastard,” he panted.

“Lie down.”

Naruto cast Sasuke a skeptical look and obeyed.

Sasuke moved on top of Naruto, taking the head of Naruto’s cock into his mouth through the thin cloth. Was he bending the rules? But it wasn’t _bare_ , after all. He faintly tasted Naruto’s cum through the fabric and felt a shiver go down his spine. He was so _close_. It was difficult for Sasuke to maintain suction, the cloth inconveniently breaking his seal. Wetting his tongue, Sasuke lapped at the swollen tip, quickly flicking his tongue where he knew the slit to be. This would be as good of an introduction to giving head as any.

The shorter man cursed his overly reactive body. Hell, he hadn’t even taken his pants off, and somehow Sasuke was ushering him to the brink of orgasm. What was wrong with him? He couldn’t take his eyes off Sasuke, attempting to commit to memory the image of his pale, handsome features pressed against his most sensitive flesh. Oh god, eye contact. Sasuke just caught him staring, and of course that asshole had to be all cocky and sultry about it. His dark eyes and hair, his pale skin…

As Sasuke dampened the fabric around Naruto’s cock, the nuances of his tongue were more pronounced. The increased friction caused Naruto’s thighs to quake, the wetness allowing Sasuke to create a suction between his mouth and Naruto’s flesh. Even with his best efforts, how far could he really take Naruto with no direct contact? Naruto was already so greedy. Sasuke longed to see Naruto’s face when he gave him what he _really_ wanted.

Just a moment. That wouldn’t bother him. He finally slid his tongue through the slight opening in the front of Naruto’s pants, directly licking the swollen skin within. It was just a quick slip. He hadn’t seen anything; he’d just grazed Naruto. The blond gasped, instinctively clawing at Sasuke’s hair and twitching. After all of the muted touches, the barrier between them, the temperature and texture of Sasuke’s tongue on his bare manhood felt godly.

“Y-yes. God yes,” Naruto moaned, his true thoughts betraying him.

Sasuke tugged at one of the buttons at the front of Naruto’s pajamas. Why did he have to be so stubborn? How did the man even have the willpower not to throw the damned garment out the window? He knew, as Naruto grew more sensitive, the friction of the fabric would chafe. A blow job through clothing just seemed like more of a tease than anything.

“I want to get you off, Naruto.”

Sasuke peered up at Naruto, the words soaked with sex and sin as they fell from his mouth. This was the stuff that made up Naruto’s wet dreams. How could he say no to a voice like that? Naruto’s cock so obviously strained against his pants.

“Let me unbutton you. I’ll reach inside, and I won’t look. Just touch.”

God, that sounded amazing. But there was a reason Naruto had kept his pants on to begin with. He’d originally wondered if Sasuke knew what he was getting himself into, but as Sasuke became more and more intimate with Naruto’s most sensitive parts, Sasuke’s lust snowballed rather than withered. Was this a suitable middle ground? Naruto’s eyes darted with uncertainty, and Sasuke gazed back up at him. He didn’t smirk, smile, or demand... His generally cold onyx orbs seemed uncharacteristically gentle and patient.

“Okay,” Naruto answered nervously.

Finally. Still, it was endearing to Sasuke how slowly Naruto was proceeding. This was the same person who shamelessly stood in front of him stark naked the first night he spent at his house. Naruto was loud, extroverted, and oftentimes pushy. He was seeing new sides of Naruto as the weeks passed. Seeing him like this told Sasuke that Naruto had placed himself in a vulnerable position. He’d clearly invested a lot of feeling into this. Thus, Sasuke decided that he would be careful not to hurt him.

Sasuke licked each of his four fingers consecutively and deliberately, his eyes catching Naruto’s as he did so. He knew what to do. He knew what he liked when he did this to himself, and he knew that this wasn’t much different. It didn’t take long for Sasuke to undo Naruto’s two buttons, sliding his hand in the gap. Naruto’s shoulders trembled. To distract him, Sasuke rested Naruto’s chin in his hand and leaned forward. He cast a mild smile at him before gently wrapping his fingers around the base of Naruto’s sex.

He kissed Naruto gently at that same moment of contact, petting his cheeks and hair with his free hand as his tongue lashed against Naruto’s. Naruto sufficiently distracted, he began to pump at Naruto’s sex, causing the other to moan into the kiss heavily. Their movements became more feverish, uninhibited. The precum lubricated Naruto’s manhood, a light schlicking sounding between them. Naruto’s lower lip folded away, yielding as Sasuke pressed their mouths closer together. The feeling of skin on skin entranced them, their chests bouncing together, occasionally colliding.

Obviously, he’d never jerked off another guy before. Really, how different could it be? It was essentially the same motion he’d mastered since the age of eleven. He slid his hand up Naruto’s cock to the base, gave it a slight squeeze, twisted his wrist, and slid down. His other hand was helpless, the entrance in the front of Naruto’s pants only large enough for one hand. So he used his left hand to stroke, ghost, and pinch wherever he pleased. A quick twerk to Naruto’s nipple caused the tan back to arch, pushing Naruto’s cock farther into Sasuke’s hand.

He spread his fingers and used his left palm to tap the head of Naruto’s dick through his pants as his right hand would near the tip. He felt Naruto’s body tremble beneath him, his chest moving quickly inwards and outwards with frenzied panting. Even before Sasuke had established direct contact, precum had already escaped the older boy. Naruto blushed darkly with humiliation. How much longer could he last? God, he felt like a preteen again. This was ridiculous, but shit, with each pump coming faster and faster, and the mere _sight_ of Sasuke’s hands at work, an obsidian stare penetrating all pretenses…

This was all it took for Naruto. Simply this sight, the teasing of Sasuke’s hand and tongue against fabric, his mouth’s passionate advances... They had readied him to the point of discomfort, his balls almost painfully tight. It thus didn’t matter that Sasuke had such a narrow opening to operate in. Naruto could not remember the last time he had been so aroused, blissed, and emotionally involved. It made him wonder just what Sasuke could do if allowed free reign.

Naruto’s lips parted from the others, his hot breath misting the lower half of Sasuke’s face.

“Sasuke... I’m so close. Fuck, just don’t stop.”

Already? Naruto must have been deeply aroused to have gotten to this point so quickly. Naruto was certainly the louder of the two. Not even bothering to refrain his moans and whimpers. His hands searched everywhere on Sasuke’s body, resting nowhere for too long and grasping nothing as if desperately searching for a way to ground himself. Naruto looked amazing when he did this. It made Sasuke feel lustful and powerful, reveling in the control that Naruto had lost. It half occurred to Sasuke to slack off, to make him _beg_. How sweet would those words be, coming from his stubborn lover? But perhaps another time. Not the first.

“God, Naru... I want to feel you, just let go.”

Naruto’s toes curled, and he clutched Sasuke’s hair so tightly it was painful.

“Sasuke… Fuck… Sasuke, I’m cumming.”

Naruto’s moan was loud and stretched out proudly, obscured shots of white soiling his pajama pants. Sasuke gave Naruto’s member one last parting stroke, even that gentle contact causing Naruto to twitch and emit a weaker spurt. All of his concern had idled, replaced by the blissful warmth of his orgasm. The only thoughts that occupied his mind were those of Sasuke. Sasuke’s fingers tugging at his waistband, Sasuke’s stare when he jerked Naruto off, and perhaps best of all, the look on Sasuke’s face when he had finally orgasmed in Naruto’s mouth, his taste and his scent.

Sasuke’s hand was covered in cum, and he couldn’t help but stare, if only for a second. It was an odd thought, that this was not his own. This did not go unnoticed by Naruto, who stared back at Sasuke nervously. Was Sasuke disgusted? This was exactly what he had feared, and even with all the pleasure he was experiencing, he couldn’t help but look somewhat dejected.

Sasuke read into this within a split second, smirking at Naruto as he brought his soiled pointer finger to his mouth and sucked at the top half. He made quite a show of it, swallowing Naruto’s spunk as he briefly mimicked those same motions Naruto had made when he had brought Sasuke to orgasm, his mouth against Sasuke’s cock. Naruto’s seed was salty, but just slightly sweet. If it were even possible, Naruto would’ve been hard all over again. He wanted no doubts in Naruto’s mind; he was perfectly comfortable with what they had done.

“You’re delicious,” Sasuke told him lasciviously.

Finally realizing how much stamina this had taken out of him, Naruto abruptly collapsed. Sasuke snickered at Naruto’s sudden change of energy, finding it rather endearing. Sasuke sat upright, crossing his legs into a sitting position and allowing Naruto’s head to rest on his ankles. Sasuke was still mentally adjusting to what had happened. He kept catching himself in a smile.

“S’uke, that was amazing.”

Sasuke loved the way his name sounded when Naruto pronounced it like that. He’d never had anyone call him that before. He only smirked in return, stroking Naruto’s hair as the post-orgasmic buzz faded from Naruto’s system.

“Life is strange, isn’t it?”

Sasuke had heard that before. It was one of those things people said when they wanted to reflect over the course of their lives and draw some sort of meaning out of it. Evidently, Naruto was in a contemplative frame of mood.

“Mn. What’s brewing in that scatterbrain of yours?”

Naruto smiled.

“I would’ve never expected going to a soup kitchen would lead to this. I’d been going there months before you started working. I was a regular, so a lot of the people there would recognize me and be happy to see me. That was almost better than the food.”

Naruto laughed, almost nervously, as Sasuke gazed down and pet him, running his hands through his shaggy hair.

“I liked you from the very start, even though you were so rude to me. I always knew there was so much more to you than what you seemed. That’s why I liked to watch you when you worked.”

“Just like I always knew you were a stalker from the very start,” Sasuke teased.

“Shut up...”

Naruto flustered, looking towards the kitchen wall. Sasuke chuckled, apparently a little more light-hearted with all the endorphins still coursing through his bloodstream.

“You didn’t want to talk to anyone. But once or twice, your eyes would lull, your brows would furrow, and it seemed like you were a little fitful, deep down. I couldn’t get much off of you. You were a mystery, but I knew in my gut that whatever was down there was good. As a people watcher, you were my greatest challenge, so I was very interested in you.”

The corner of Sasuke’s lips upturned. Perhaps Naruto’s initial persistence hadn’t been so simple-minded after all. He hoped that not everyone read him like that - that Naruto was just special. Naruto _was_ special, for better or for worse.

“I thought that all I’d ever be was an annoyance or a guilt trip to you. When you bought me ice cream, I couldn’t stop smiling about it. Then you said you were my brother to that cop, even though I looked like shit. I was still smiling that night when I went to sleep, even though I got rained on. I thought I was finally making a friend, but it looks like it’s even better than that. Now I’m...” Naruto smiled up at Sasuke, pinning a lock of hair behind Sasuke’s ear. “So happy.”

Sasuke glanced down at Naruto. He had previously thought he had noticed Naruto’s face looking slightly fuller. It wasn’t much of a surprise, really, considering the formidable volume of food Naruto ate on a regular basis. With his shirt off, the changes were still minute but much more distinct. He looked healthier, and his cheeks had taken on a rosy shade. Naruto’s smile reached back, his eyes squinted almost shut. He was beaming. It reminded him of honey, dribbled out in the sunlight as it shown bright, translucent, and warm. He would’ve had to say that if expressions could have a color, the one on Naruto’s face was the color of honey in the sunlight.

Whatever Naruto was experiencing was contagious. Lips closed, Sasuke was smiling broadly. Was this what it was like to fall for someone? He felt so different - free, nervous, exhilarated, safe, and unburdened. He felt happy too. It was like he was high, but even better, like he’d shaken all of his demons if only for a moment. Sasuke guided Naruto’s arm upwards, holding his hand in his palm. He kneaded his thumb against the meat of his palm, then playing with each of his fingers, one by one. This would be his response to Naruto’s words.

“Sasuke?”

“Hm?” Sasuke responded, the room feeling so peaceful.

“Why do you push everyone away?”

Sasuke tried not to flinch. He frowned, wondering where that question had come from. Even he didn’t truly know the answer to that question.

“I find most people to be boring, untrustworthy, and stupid. I have no time for them.”

Naruto grinned, playfully swatting at Sasuke’s hand.

“But you gave me a chance and saw the error in your ways.”

Sasuke cocked his head.

“You’re not boring or untrustworthy. Stupid, however...”

Naruto laughed, lightly jabbing Sasuke in the thigh repeatedly.

“Take that back, bastard!”

“Make me.”

Naruto grasped Sasuke’s hand and bit it, gnawing spunkily. Sasuke jerked his hand away and shook it out.

“Thanks, Jaws.”

“Sasuke...”

Naruto’s voice had turned serious as their conversation lulled.

“Maybe if you gave people more of a chance, you wouldn’t be so lonely.”

Sasuke frowned, wishing that Naruto had not so clearly noticed this. He didn’t want people to know, let alone bring attention to it. He felt as if he’d been stripped down and placed in front of a two-way mirror. Would he deny it? Black met blue.

“Maybe. But even if you let in good people, it’s very easy to lose them. That...”

Sasuke paused, swallowing deeply as his eyes trailed to the floor.

“It really fucking sucks.”

Naruto nodded, rubbing his calloused palm over Sasuke’s forearm lovingly. To Sasuke, he must have been one of those “good people.”

“Naruto, if you have a choice in the matter... Please don’t leave me.”

Sasuke’s voice seemed so quiet and fragile suddenly. Sasuke’s head hung, facing the opposite wall. From Naruto’s view, his eyes and mouth were concealed by his bangs. It shocked and even hurt Naruto; he had never seen Sasuke this way before. He’d never heard him ask for anything, never heard even the slightest hint of desperation or vulnerability in his voice. Spastically, Naruto sat up, setting his own face just inches in front of Sasuke’s. Those dark eyes looked so sad.

“Oh ho ho, you just _had_ to say the word.”

Sasuke perked up slightly, confounded by Naruto’s sudden change of pace.

“Now look what you’ve done!”

Naruto threw his hand up dramatically in mock anger.

“You’ll _never_ be able to get rid of me now!”

Sasuke stared back at Naruto dully, the next expression on his lips a hybrid between and smirk and a smile. Then a low chuckle rolled out of his mouth, and it grew. Naruto started laughing with him. They fed off of each other. What were they even laughing about? Did it matter?

“Fine by me.”


	17. Chapter 17

That Saturday night, Sasuke lay in bed, tossing and turning. His mind was buzzing with activity, still processing what had happened that afternoon. This was like any other night they fell asleep together, but this time the man lying next to him was his lover. Naruto shamelessly draped himself over Sasuke’s body, his head resting on Sasuke’s chest.

Before, this would be something Sasuke would enjoy privately as Naruto slept, like a child sneaking candy behind their parent’s back. But this was no longer in secrecy. Only half awake, Naruto purred as his eyes fluttered open and made contact with Sasuke’s. Naruto glanced up at Sasuke, smiled, then was quickly back to sleep. Sasuke felt his heartbeat quicken.

He wrapped his arm around Naruto, fiddling with the hem on his long-sleeved shirt. He felt the warmth of Naruto’s breath on his chest, through his shirt’s fabric. Naruto’s body seemed awfully light. With Naruto pressed against him, he could feel the sharpness of his joints and bones, with such little fat to insulate them. He pulled Naruto a little closer to his chest, now able to imagine that he had much more power to protect Naruto than he truly did.

He stared at the ceiling, a mild but content smile on his face. Shortly, he fell asleep.

Sunday night, sleep came to Sasuke much more easily. He could tell that Naruto was anxious about being left in the house alone on Monday. Come morning, Naruto kissed Sasuke softly. Sasuke woke up, and in a split second jerked away.

“Jeez, Sasuke, am I really that bad of a kisser?” Naruto asked with a tone of mock hurt.

It took Sasuke a moment to process who Naruto was.

“At least let me wake up a little first,” Sasuke grumbled, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Now?”

Naruto tilted his head. Sasuke moved forward and pecked him on the lips. Suddenly his typical Monday lethargy seemed more bearable.

“Now.”

“What, no tongue?” Naruto teased.

“Your morning breath is rank.”

Sasuke glanced at his clock, noting that Naruto had awakened him at the exactly moment his alarm clock had been set to. Naruto must’ve waited for him.

“But brush your teeth, and we’ll talk,” Sasuke added with a smirk.

“I already brushed my teeth,” Naruto pouted.

“I haven’t.”

Naruto grinned, getting on all fours with Sasuke’s body between him. He moved up, his face just above Sasuke’s, blocking out the sun that had so directly hit Sasuke’s eyes. Sasuke furrowed his brows, looking off to the side as Naruto slowly brought his face down to Sasuke’s. Sasuke glanced back up at him, and Naruto pressed his lips against Sasuke’s, his tongue so gently lapping at Sasuke’s lower lip.

Uncertainly, Sasuke opened his mouth. Their tongues met, and suddenly, Sasuke lost control. Their tongues lashed against each other, Sasuke’s hand moving up and cupping the side of Naruto’s face. Both of their eyes were clamped shut. This was one hell of a way to wake up on a Monday morning.

Naruto moaned into the kiss, which made Sasuke’s blood immediately flush south. It wasn’t like him to get so horny with such little provocation. He was willing himself to calm down as their lips separated.

“Ew, gross,” Naruto answered with a devious grin.

“Jackoff,” Sasuke swore, jabbing Naruto in the arm.

Laughing, Naruto rolled off of Sasuke’s body. As Sasuke got out of bed and moved towards the bathroom, Naruto let out a disappointed “aw.”

Sasuke found himself smiling ever so slightly as he washed his face and brushed his teeth.

He tried not to think of what the day would be like as he selected his outfit. He was sticking to his decision. He knew he wasn’t doing his future any favors by associating with this group of his. At least the separation would not be difficult for Sasuke. He’d been wise to keep his heart off limits, but that came without trying.

Naruto lay back down on the bed, sighing dramatically.

“Want me to make you breakfast?”

“I’m good,” Sasuke said, focused on finding the correct pair of blue jeans and laying out his outfit.

“Why would you miss breakfast? It’s the best meal of the day. You got eggs, French toast, pancakes, _maple syrup_ …”

Sasuke smirked. The way Naruto spoke those two words made it seem like he was in danger of cumming on the spot.

“Junk food.”

“ _Breakfast_ ,” Naruto enunciated. “You get an excuse. Why would you deny yourself that?”

“I have twenty minutes to be out the door, and I need a shower.”

Out of Sasuke’s view, Naruto frowned. The frown was knocked right off of Naurto’s face as Sasuke took off his shirt, and then his pants, casually as if it were nothing. It felt like the temperature had inched up a few degrees. God, what type of exercises did Sasuke do to be so toned? It felt unreal that the guy was his boyfriend. He restrained himself from pouncing Sasuke on the spot.

Sasuke was out the door, the shower water turning on soon after. He heard Sasuke get in the shower, and soon enough, steam was coming out the door. Naruto lay in bed now, knowing that Sasuke was naked and hot in the next room. He rubbed his hand over his groin, and he felt himself going hard. There were two ways of handling this. He could either take care of the matter himself, or… He glanced over at the bathroom tentatively.

He tore off his shirt in a second. He knew it was safe. Itachi was long gone for his litigation class. He walked towards the bathroom, his pants still on. Despite his brazenness, he didn’t want to show himself to Sasuke yet. In the back of his mind, Naruto still had this fear, however irrational, that Sasuke would change his mind. He pulled the shower curtain back and stepped in.

The sight of Sasuke, his skin wet, naked, and dusted a soft shade of pink from the heat of the water, made the growing issue between his legs that much more prominent. He was thankful he’d kept his pants, which had quickly become sopping wet. Sasuke turned around quickly, casting Naruto an odd glance.

“Why are you wearing pants?”

Naruto’s response was a passionate kiss, shoving Sasuke back against the shower wall. Sasuke bit Naruto’s bottom lip and tugged, reaching around and grabbing Naruto’s ass, forcing Naruto’s erection close to him. Their lips still touched, forming a diamond between them as their mouths hung open. And Sasuke let out this smirk that sounded so smug that it made Naruto want to both fuck him and punch him in the face.

Sasuke initiated another kiss, his tongue clashing against Naruto’s. He ran his hands down Naruto’s chest, rubbing his thumb over Naruto’s perky nipple. He scaled down Naruto’s abdomen, to the waistband of his pants. Naruto hitched. Sasuke began to ease them down, and Naruto quickly grasped Sasuke’s arm to stop him. Out of Naruto’s view, Sasuke rolled his eyes. Did he not realize that this was torturous?

“These need to come off,” Sasuke grunted, tugging down the offending garment.

“Not yet,” Naruto answered.

“Why not?” Sasuke asked, smirking soon after. “You’re not still worried about scaring me, are you?”

Naruto cast his eyes to the floor. Or was Naruto just afraid of being rejected?

“Who do you think you’re fooling? I already know what you look like,” Sasuke said, gently sliding the back of his hand over Naruto’s clothed manhood.

“I’ve felt you, I’ve even tasted you,” Sasuke whispered into Naruto’s ear.

Sasuke moved forward, pushing his half hardened cock against Naruto’s. The sensation of these two organs pressing together, only separated by a piece of cloth, sent a shiver down both of their spines.

“So why are you holding back? I want every inch of you.”

Naruto let out a soft, needy moan.

“Kiss me,” Sasuke commanded, and Naruto was in no state of mind to disobey. Their tongues twisted around each other, and Sasuke brought his hands back down to Naruto’s waistband, tugging it down an inch so that Naruto’s happy trail made its appearance. Naruto hitched.

“Ignore it,” Sasuke breathed, grabbing Naruto’s forearm with his left hand and kneading the flesh reassuringly. “Just kiss me.”

And with that, Naruto gave his all into this kiss, tasting Sasuke, wanting so much more of him, the steam and their heated bodies adding to the frenzy of it all. He cupped Sasuke’s bare ass in his hand, splaying the cheek apart. Sasuke tugged Naruto’s pants down further, and then he guided it over Naruto’s cock, which bounced to attention as Naruto’s pants finally fell onto the floor. Sasuke reached down, rubbing his fingertips over Naruto’s lips and giving an appreciative moan.

“Don’t look down,” Naruto said.

“Fine,” Sasuke answered, guiding his cock to rub against Naruto’s. “I won’t.”

Naruto nearly choked on the water at the contact of his most sensitive flesh against Sasuke’s. Sasuke’s toes curled into the ground. Both of them were overwhelmed for that moment, basking in the pleasure of it, the gravity of the situation.

Sasuke knew he didn’t have much time if he were to catch the school bus. God, the _last_ thing he wanted to do was go to school, but if he couldn’t find his release now, he didn’t even know how he’d tolerate the bus ride.

He reached forward, finally taking Naruto’s bare cock into his hand. He gave it one experimental pump, feeling from base to tip. Naruto whimpered, Sasuke gave him a victorious smile, and Naruto scowled. But that wasn’t to last long as Sasuke pumped several more times, both of their cocks already engorged from their arousal and the heat of the water. The water beat down on the two of them, Sasuke’s hair pulled back from his face. It had a way of making Sasuke look so different.

“Idiot, don’t make me ride the bus with a hard on,” Sasuke said as he guided Naruto’s hand to touch his own length.

Naruto chuckled, soon after gasping as Sasuke began to speckle the fingers of his opposite hand against Naruto’s balls. Naruto mirrored Sasuke’s actions, and God if that didn’t feel like heaven and hell in one hot mess of a package. It was so much, but he wanted so much _more_. Sasuke had to refrain himself from thrusting directly into Naruto’s hand, instead becoming more aggressive with his own movements and praying that Naruto would follow suit.

Sasuke was not disappointed. Their movements became more frenzied, and they kissed again, both of them sprinting to the finish line. And then Naruto let out a loud moan which seemed to just rip from his chest, a wide smile on his lips as he turned his face to the ceiling, his eyes closed. Sasuke shuddered as Naruto’s cum splattered against his body, the shower water slowly sending it away.

But rather than slumping, Naruto forced himself to continue, to concentrate on making his lover feel the same way. And it came quickly. Still soiled with Naruto’s cum, he roughly bit down on his lip as he stifled a moan, cumming against Naruto’s body.

The both looked into each other’s eyes, panting. Naruto leaned his face towards Sasuke, and Sasuke’s head tipped forward, their foreheads resting against each other’s. Naruto gave Sasuke a soft kiss.

“I have to go,” Sasuke muttered.

Naruto let out a dissatisfied groan.

Sasuke forced himself out of the shower, drying his body off. Naruto turned off the water and did the same. One glance at his alarm clock was enough to kick Sasuke’s ass into gear. The bus was coming in just two minutes. He threw on his clothes, put some mousse in his hair, and grabbed his backpack, haphazardly throwing in the proper contents. He turned to run out the door, but Naruto quickly chirped in.

“One last kiss.”

Naruto had approached him, so Sasuke turned and pecked Naruto as quickly as possible, charging away and making the bus without a second to spare.

* * *

After that morning, the rest of the school day seemed like even more of a bore than usual. He didn’t share any classes with his friends, so up to lunch period, this day was like any other. As the lunch period came, Sasuke tucked himself in the library, studying for his next pre-calculus exam. The room smelled like wood, and he was sitting at a long, dark wooden table. He took a swig of his water bottle, turning the page. He’d been studying for about twenty minutes. It felt rather solitary to him, though he supposed he’d acclimatize to it.

He heard heavy footsteps approach him table. Sasuke didn’t look up from his book.

“May I join you?”

Juugo, the only person at this school he’d care to talk to at the moment.

“Sure.”

Juugo neatly pulled out a chair next to Sasuke and took a seat, his large frame filling the seat and then some. He towered over the table, and he was easily half a foot taller than anyone else in the room. He placed a comic on the table and began to analyze the pictures. Despite himself, Sasuke glanced over.

Avengers.

“Which one?” Sasuke asked quietly.

Sasuke hadn’t read comic books in what seemed like ages, but there had been a time in Sasuke’s life when he enjoyed them.

“Number 56,” Juugo answered, then flipping through the book. “I think this is the one where Bucky gets his arm blown off.”

“That one was good.”

Sasuke was silent again, reading through a chapter on second derivatives.

“Sasuke…” Juugo mumbled. “Why aren’t you sitting with us?”

Sasuke sighed.

“I think you know.”

“What do you mean by that?” Juugo asked, sounding annoyed.

“I’m not exactly eager to share a table with someone who drugged me.”

“We were all fine,” Juugo said. “It was just in bad taste.”

Just in bad taste?

“Juugo, he deceived me into trying a hard drug. That’s more than just ‘bad taste.’”                 

He wanted Juugo to leave. He didn’t want to defend the perfectly reasonable decision he’d made.

“Alright, it was a dick move,” Juugo answered. “But how is that our faults? I had nothing to do with it.”

“It doesn’t matter! Why is it that whenever I’m around you guys, something bad happens?”

Juugo lagged, appearing more hurt by the statement than angered. Sasuke’s voice had become a little louder than he’d intended, the pair quickly shushed by a stern librarian. That really hadn’t been a fair comment. No one had forced him to do anything; he’d made his own decisions. He sighed and rested his face in his hand.

“That didn’t come out right. It’s on me.”

“So… You’re blocking us all out then?” Juugo asked, disappointed. “You’re just slipping away, from everyone.”

With his other friends, he would have felt no obligation to explain himself.

“Juugo, my brother found out I was shoplifting,” Sasuke whispered. Juugo’s eyes widened. “It wasn’t pretty.”

Juugo sighed as well, the chair giving a slight creak as he rested his elbow on the table.

“I can’t do this to him anymore. He’s stood up for me enough as is.”

Juugo’s body softened as he gave Sasuke a concerned look.

“What do we do when we hang out?” Sasuke said quietly with a slight bitterness. “We drink, smoke, steal, get into fights…”

He hated to say it, even. When it was all laid out like that, he couldn’t help but feel guilty.

“I can’t even count how many things I’ve done in the last month that could have landed me in juvie.”

“You don’t trust yourself around us, do you?” Juugo asked, leaning into the table.

Sasuke averted his eyes, speaking under his breath, almost too quietly to hear, “I don’t trust myself in general.”

Juugo shook his head.

“Yeah, I get it. You’re a literal genius.”

Sasuke grunted.

“You have a huge future to protect. Some people say that we can be whatever we want to be, but with you, it’s actually true.”

He didn’t allow his surprise to show.

“What about your future?”

Juugo gave a bitter smirk and shook his head.

“What future?”

Sasuke glanced over at Juugo, a little taken aback by the remark. Juugo folded up his comic and stood up.

“Anyhow, I can’t lie and say that this doesn’t suck,” Juugo said, pushing his chair in. “But I respect your decision. Thanks for being honest.”

“Juugo…” Sasuke whispered.

“Hm?”

“This conversation never happened, understand?”

“You think you need to tell me that?” Juugo smiled, then walking away and leaving Sasuke to his studies. For the first time that day, Sasuke felt a little lonely.

* * *

Sasuke forsook the school bus this afternoon, instead taking the Metro to his psychiatrist’s office. As much as he’d always been loath to go, he knew that Shizune would notify Itachi without fail if he bailed. He had a good hour to piss away in there.

Sasuke had new goals, but as much as he hated to admit it, he had limitations. He’d learned the past year had taught him that he could no longer trust himself, and he had no idea why this had become the case. He had a thought, and it almost seemed to speak to him, in his mother’s voice. “You have a problem.” It had been a long time since he’d heard her voice in his head.

“Welcome back,” Shizune said calmly.

The candles were nowhere to be seen, and the lights were on. She had learned Sasuke’s preferences at this point. He plopped himself down on the couch, slouching back into it.

“Hey.”

Shizune paused a moment, surprised by Sasuke’s civility and trying to hide the smile on her face.

“So, what have you been up to lately?”

Shizune knew that Sasuke didn’t appreciate small talk. For that matter, he really didn’t appreciate any of the conversations had in this room, but Sasuke appeared to be thinking.

One hour. He’d be stuck here one hour every several weeks until he was well. He’d never see this woman again, and now, he had a goal. He saw something that needed fixed. He might as well take a shot.

“Nothing particularly good.”

“You wouldn’t care to humor me, would you?” she asked with a soft smile.

Sasuke huffed, staring towards the wall.

“I’m never honest with you when I come in here,” Sasuke said starkly, looking back at her.

It was a harsh juxtaposition to the peaceful silence. Sasuke had called out the elephant in the room.

Shizune nodded and sighed.

“I know you have your reservations about therapy. It’s understandable. All the same, it’s made it difficult for me to help you.”

Sasuke frowned, looking at the ground. In this office, he was always confident, disengaged, and disrespectful. For the first time, he felt just the slightest bit exposed to her. He’d be cautious with this.

“I didn’t think I needed anyone’s help,” he admitted.

“So, would you like to try being honest?”

“I’ll give it a shot.”

Shizune beamed at Sasuke, which only seemed awkward to him.

“So, tell me. What’s been happening?”

Sasuke looked at her dully. Jesus, where to begin. He’d make small concessions.

“I started shoplifting a month ago.”

There it was. His first voluntary admission to this woman. He continued, “At first I did it for the rush, but eventually it almost became a compulsion. But I wasn’t a kleptomaniac or anything…”

Well, Sasuke thought, maybe just a little bit of a kleptomaniac.

“Past tense?”

“My brother figured it out.” When Sasuke said it, he felt the guilt wash over him a second time. “It was horrible.”

“How so? Did he punish you?”

Sasuke smirked, rather bitter.

“I wish. Instead, he was just extremely disappointed in me, which was much worse.”

“Ah, yeah…” Shizune answered, shaking his head. “That can be brutal.”

“It sucked,” Sasuke said simply.

“I’m sure.”

“And there’s more.”

Why the fuck not, Sasuke figured. He’d gone this far. He was stuck in this room regardless,

“What else?”

“My friends and I go to parties sometimes, and they can get kind of crazy. I’m not telling you anything you didn’t already know, I’m sure.”

“I can’t say that you are, Sasuke,” she answered, somewhat playfully.

“Something happened at one of those parties.”

Shizune, scrunched her brows, appearing concerned.

“What happened?”

“That’s not important,” Sasuke said. “The important thing is that I’ve had my wakeup call. I get it.”

“Look…” Shizune sighed. “I understand if you don’t want to talk about it. Just tell me, are you in any danger?”

“None,” Sasuke replied without hesitation.

“A wake up call…” Shizune muttered, shaking her head and casting a teasing smile back at Sasuke. “So, this is why you’re being so cooperative?”

Sasuke edged back, bristling just slightly.

“This has nothing to do with you.”

Sasuke paused, his eyes cast to the ground now, pretending as if was alone in the room.

“I just… I haven’t been right in the head since the fire, and I want to do something about it.”

He felt like he didn’t have full control of his actions. He drank and he fought, and when he was forced to stop fighting, he began to steal instead. He hated nearly anyone he met by default. If he could get away with it, Sasuke had no doubts that he’d still be fighting, still taking pleasure in breaking down the people who had challenged him, watching them suffer, and exerting full control over them. Because at least, when he was powerless to prevent the people in his life from coming and going, he could have control over _something_ in his life.

He knew what he wanted. He wanted to become successful; he wanted to become a doctor, some day. To use his knowledge for good, to save someone’s life, to keep people from experiencing what had happened to him. Yet none of his actions recently were sending him down this path. And perhaps most of all, he wanted his brother to finally be happy.

Sasuke had already accumulated some scars that would be with him until the day he died, but those were the least of his concerns. He hated being around. Sometimes he wished he’d died with his parents. Why couldn’t he ever be happy? Nothing put him at peace anymore – well, almost nothing. He never used to be this way.

“I’m proud of you,” Shizune said, smiling at him warmly.

“Cram it,” Sasuke snapped back rolling his eyes and pausing a moment. “I just want to beat this.”

“Well, you’ve taken the first step.”

“Fantastic,” Sasuke answered, sounding frustrated. “I admit that I’m a little fucked up. How is that such an accomplishment?”

“You’re going in the right direction. That’s the most important thing.”

“Great,” Sasuke said flatly. “So what now?”

“I’d say first in line is to find some better influences.”

“Yeah… I split with my group,” Sasuke answered, feeling more comfortable and sinking into the sofa. “I explained my reasoning to one of my friends, and he actually seemed to get it.”

Shizune cast an awed gaze at Sasuke.

“You’ve taken so many steps… It’s only been a few weeks since our last appointment, but you seem so…different.”

Was he, really? He didn’t feel different.

“Whatever. Aren’t you supposed to tell me what to do?”

This was the reason he was here, after all. She was a doctor. She was supposed to fix him.

“You’re a shrink, so how do I get better?”

“Decisions like these help. You stopped shoplifting, and you removed yourself from negative influences. But I can’t just throw some pretty words at you and cure you. That’s not how therapy works.”

Sasuke supposed that this was fair enough, but he still didn’t like to hear it.

“This is a long haul sort of thing. You’ve made a lot of progress in such little time, but you have to be patient.”

“I get it, but you’re not telling me anything I don’t already know.”

They paused for a bit as Shizune thought to herself.

“Have you tried journaling?”

“ _Journaling?_ ” Sasuke gaped at Shizune as if she’d just requested him to go to school in drag. “Are you joking?”

“It’s helped a lot of my patients.”

“I’m not going to keep a diary and write angsty poems and shit,” Sasuke answered, crossing his arms. “That’s just stupid.”

“It’s not for everyone, but how do you know if you don’t try?”

Sasuke sighed, biding his time before he answered, arms still crossed.

“I did try…”

“You did?”

“After the fire, only for a couple weeks,” Sasuke said, fiddling with his shirt sleeve. “But I burned it.”

Shizune snickered, tilting her head.

“You do have a flair for the ironic, don’t you Sasuke?”

Sasuke smirked instinctively. What a bold joke for a psychiatrist to make, especially given the context. He could have imagined people bursting into tears over that remark, but Sasuke… He actually thought it was a little funny, and Shizune must have known him enough to predict that.

“It didn’t have any angsty poems in it, by the way.”

There was a comfortable silence in the room.

“Maybe journaling isn’t for you. But you burned the journal. Doesn’t that say something?”

“What are you getting at?” Sasuke asked, leaning away.

Shizune was trying to read Sasuke, he assumed, calculating her response.

“Sasuke,” Shizune answered simply. “You’re repressing.”

His body stiffened up, brows knit.

“That was right after the fire. I burned that journal a year ago. You can’t use that as evidence to make judgments about the person I am today.”

“Sasuke, if you’re really serious about getting better, you need to be honest. First and foremost, with yourself.”

Being honest with himself about _what_? Sasuke scowled, bringing his feet onto the couch in a subconscious display of opposition.

“You can only recover when you face your demons and accept what happened to you.”

“ _Accept_ it?” Sasuke shot back, the volume of his voice rising, bitterness making its way into his tone. “Did I ever have any choice _but_ to accept it? They’re dead. That’s pretty fucking apparent.”

Sasuke’s gaze was becoming darker, his teeth clenched.

“You accept that, yes. But do you accept the way that this has affected you?”

“Yes, I do. My parents died, and it wasn't pretty. And by the way, like _hell_ would I divulge the details to you, or to anyone else for that matter.”

And Sasuke hated that even as he was speaking, he saw little bits and pieces that would plague him during the night, and even at times during the day. Sasuke was the only soul to bear testament to these nightmarish moments. Even his brother had not been forced to see this.

“So I’m kind of fucked up for the time being. Again, you’re not telling me anything new.”

Shizune continued, her voice soft and undeterred, “The next step is to let it out. Let out all of your feelings and fully experience the pain of what you went through, rather than pushing it to the back of your mind.”

“What are you _talking_ about?!”

Suddenly, Sasuke was standing, shouting and gesticulating. He had no recollection of getting up, but that didn’t cause him to falter for a moment. He felt cornered, his heart hammering.

“I’ve relived that scenario time and time again like it’s a goddamned movie, and not only in my nightmares. So rest assured if you think I haven’t _‘fully experienced’_ this. How _dare_ you imply that I even have the _luxury_ of ignoring it!”

Shizune didn’t look shocked. She hadn’t even tensed. She merely waited in silence, with Sasuke standing and panting, out of words. Sasuke looked around the office, beginning to come back into himself. He was both shocked and embarrassed that he had lost his cool. He was even further humiliated as he felt himself blushing, catching his breath. Now that he thought about it, he never did cry after his parents died. Sasuke sat down.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” he said quietly.

“Alright, alright,” Shizune answered gently. “We’ll take this one step at a time.

Sasuke pouted. Shizune thought that even if Sasuke could be a little demon, he looked rather endearing at the moment.

“But you do have to work with me.”

Sasuke glanced back up at Shizune, eyes full of skepticism.

“I’ll try it, but I’m not committing to anything.”

“That’s all I’m asking,” Shizune smiled back.

“As long as we’re clear,” Sasuke told her sternly.

There was a bell attached to the door to the waiting room, and the jingle could be heard through the door. It meant that Shizune’s next patient had arrived. Sasuke looked at the clock, realizing that they’d gone nearly ten minutes over.

“Is there anything else you want to tell me?” Shizune asked.

Shizune didn’t know the half of it, nor ever would she. Of course, there was one big secret he was keeping from everyone who slept with him ever night.

“No, that’s everything. Bye.”

Sasuke had already gotten up to leave.

“Later, Sasuke,” Shizune answered.

Sasuke nodded at the woman in the waiting room, opening the door and hitting the cool night air. Suddenly, it felt like something in his mind burst forward and seized his entire body, causing his hands to tremble and his heart to race. He would have been concerned if he didn’t already know exactly what this was.

He rushed himself around the clinic, to the backside, completely obscured from view. He saw blood, disfigurement, explosions as the home fell to soot, little five second clips that were so strong he could still feel the smoke burning his eyes. His palm and forehead were sweaty, breath coming to him in gasps. He controlled it, closing his eyes with his forehead scrunched. He took tiny, shallow, slow breaths, just enough to keep himself oxygenated. He told himself that he would never run out of air; it was physically impossible.

Sasuke roughly bit into his cold bottom lip to ground himself in reality. Hais hands and feet were numb. Sasuke knew that when one flashback came, others were to follow. They tended to come to him in clumps. He’d been foolish to address this in therapy. He felt as though he were regressing.

He had to stop thinking about this. He couldn’t give into temptation, feeling his cell phone in his pants pocket. They were gone. Nothing would ever change that. But against his best judgment, he took out his phone, moving to his text message inbox. It was ordered from most to least recent, filled at the top with uninteresting messages from people he’d rather ignore.

With one large sweep of his thumb, he scrolled back. Then repeated it again, and again, his phone scrolling rapidly. He moved back month after month, until he finally arrived at a certain text he would never forget. He swallowed tight as he stared at the screen, an old conversation up top as the cursor blinked in the text response bar.

He tapped the bar with no idea of what his response would be. There were so many things that he wanted her to see, but he had no idea where to begin, so all he could do is stare, his hand trembling again. He stared a while longer until his palm clenched his phone like a vice, and every thought in Sasuke’s brain told him to shatter the goddamned thing against the stucco wall of the clinic. Then, he could never see that message again, but he could not bear to lose it.

Sasuke slipped the phone into his pocket, punching the clinic wall with his free hand and swearing. He bit down, clamping his eyes shut and counting backwards from ten to one. He had to return to Naruto. And when he did return, he would be calm and unchanged, appearing whole and completely unscathed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A spoonful of sugar and libido to wash the angst down.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments fuel me.


	18. Chapter 18

As Sasuke rummaged through their refrigerator, Naruto sat at the kitchen table perusing Sasuke's anatomy textbook. How dry, Naruto thought. It was a Sunday morning, and as usual, Itachi wasn't expected home until nightfall, if at all. It was a little cloudy, and Sasuke could have sworn that it made his joints creak. They had the day to themselves.

A pale nose wrinkled in disgust as the sophomore encountered a jar of creamed herring, nearly a month past expiration. As if the food weren't insufferable enough in its prime… He moved over the trashcan, stepping on the lever and swinging up the lid.

"Hey, what is it my eyes are seeing right now?” Naruto said in a split second. “Are you throwing away perfectly good food? Because that would be positively, absolutely messed up."

Sasuke shook his head.

"You don't want this. It's expired. Nothing good or perfect about it."

Naruto snickered, looking thoroughly unimpressed.

"Sasuke, I’m a professional hobo. I've eaten week-old food out of dumpsters and picked around the mold. I can handle anything."

Sasuke shook his head, sliding the jar over to Naruto.

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

The other male stuck his tongue out, taking an extra large, juicy bite of fish just to spite his lover. See, he _could_ handle anything.

This was followed by several unflattering coughs, then a few choking noises. Naruto grasped the edges of the table, his knuckles white. He quickly spit the mushed up fish onto his napkin. Sexy.

"Oh sweet Jesus. Who _eats_ this stuff?!”

It served him right for being obstinate.

“I...I think I'm gonna be sick."

Naruto began to gag, doubling over the table. Sasuke only smirked in return, unsympathetic to the Naruto’s turmoil.

"That's what you get."

Naruto shook his head emphatically, his wily locks bouncing as he did so.

"Nooo, no... Why would anyone ever make such a horrible thing? Ever? Why does this monstrosity even exist?"

"Don't ask me."

Naruto whined, "Sasukeeee..."

"Mn?"

"I'm feelin' a little lonely all of the sudden, why don't you give me a nice, juicy kiss?"

Naruto grabbed Sasuke by his shirt, making loud puckering noises as he pursed his lips for the pursuit. Sasuke flattened his palm into Naruto's forehead, pushing him away and recoiling at the scent of Naruto's breath.

"Like hell I'm kissing you with your nasty herring breath," Sasuke scowled.

"Do not deny the smoldering fire in your pants. How could you resist this sexy face?"

Naruto stood up, lunging after the Sasuke, who took a few quick steps away.

"No way in hell."

Naruto waggled his brows, taking threatening steps forward.

"You mouth says no, but your eyes say yes."

"Get away from me!"

Naruto charged up to Sasuke and pressed him into a wall. Sasuke swatted at Naruto’s face and squirmed against him, but Naruto was still able to roughly lift Sasuke’s head and French him. The pungent taste of one month expired herring filled his mouth, almost producing a gag out of him as well. He wiped his mouth, drying his tongue out with his sleeve.

"Ugh! That's fucking rank."

Sasuke coughed, wishing he had somewhere to spit. Naruto laughed, but Sasuke gave him a devilish smirk.

"You're _dead_ now."

Naruto's eyes squinted in uncertainty as Sasuke shoved Naruto back and lunged towards him. Naruto turned on his heel quickly and scurried up the steps, laughing the entire way. Sasuke followed close behind. Naruto flung the bedroom door open, making a long dive for the bed.

"Sanctuary! Sanctuary!"

"Don't think so."

Sasuke lunged onto the bed, throwing his weight at Naruto, who merely rolled his body over and pinned Sasuke down. However, this was only to last for a second, as Sasuke swung Naruto away with a strong arm. Naruto giggled as he kicked his legs playfully.

Sasuke couldn't remember the last time he'd engaged in this sort of horseplay, but in the back of his mind he realized that he was smiling. The two rested on their knees, each fighting to topple the other. Sasuke held back, careful not to injure Naruto, which ended up being a mistake as Naruto nearly flipped him. Impatience got the best of Sasuke as he slammed Naruto backward, fastening his shoulders into the mattress.

Naruto's laughter halted, though he was still smiling. He tried to sit up, only for Sasuke to shove him down again. Sasuke had clearly won, Naruto unable to budge. Sasuke thought that Naruto was being a sore loser, but Naruto’s brows knit, and he took a deep but somewhat shuddering breath in. Sasuke looked at Naruto inquisitively, not thinking to move.

Naruto's nails dug into Sasuke's arm painfully, his legs thrashing up. They nearly hit a particularly sensitive spot between Sasuke's legs, which Sasuke was more than relieved that they had missed.

"Get off!" Naruto's tone was urgent.

Sasuke’s movements froze, his mind too distracted by Naruto's sudden panic to react quickly. Where the hell had this come from?

"GET THE FUCK OFF!"

Naruto shielded his face with his palms.

" _Stop!_ ” Naruto cried out, then more quietly added, “God… Don’t…"

Sasuke quickly rolled off of Naruto's body as Naruto curled into a fetal position, facing away. He hid behind his hands, his breathing becoming quick and shallow. Bewildered, Sasuke's jaw hung slightly, and all he could think to do was stare. What was going on here? Sasuke reached out to place his hand on Naruto's shoulder, only for Naruto to jerk away. Sasuke tried not to feel guilty about triggering this.

This seemed to come out of nowhere, but when Sasuke pondered it, he remembered noting that Naruto startled easily. He would jump when he'd suddenly sense Sasuke behind him. He frequently covered his face in his sleep, and Sasuke wasn't the only one who slept restlessly. He'd originally thought that this was Naruto being a "scaredy cat," but was that really all there was to it?

Naruto's breathing quickened, and he began to whimper and hyperventilate, shrinking into himself. Sasuke felt so powerless to help. Naruto clawed at his forearms, leaving a criss-cross of angry red marks behind.

Sasuke knew what this was. He knew that sometimes, when he was like this, he secretly wanted someone to hold him. However, most of the time, others touching him made him feel like either exploding or disappearing under the floorboards. So Sasuke simply lay down next to him, still present but giving the boy his space. It was so tempting to wrap his arms around him.

"Naruto, focus on my voice," Sasuke spoke calmly and quietly, but firmly.

Naruto seemed to ignore Sasuke at first... Or perhaps he was simply too panicked to notice him.

"It..." Naruto stammered, "It _hurts_. My heart... 'S... Been happening..."

One hand was still hiding his cheeks, the other clenched at his chest. His breath was still accelerating. Sasuke knew what a panic attack was. He knew that sometimes it felt like you were going to lose your mind or die, your heart beating heavy but at fast as a hummingbird’s and limbs gone numb. It was like a blaring alarm was going off in your head, without reason, shouting “DANGER. DANGER,” until it invaded your entire consciousness. The storm would bash you every which way, and you’d just hold on to a telephone pole, hoping for the best.

"You're having a panic attack. It won't last more than a few minutes,” Sasuke assured. “Your brain is lying to you. You'll be fine."

Naruto nodded with relief, feeling dizzy as his breath got carried away with him. Since these attacks had begun, he had wondered whether there was something physically wrong with him. A heart condition, perhaps? Or maybe he was just crazy. But what he could do about that in his situation? The thought of it being psychological was simultaneously reassuring and humiliating. The periphery of his vision was beginning to blacken. He felt like he was about to pass out, and his hands grew numb and tingly.

Sasuke knew how to deal with these. The first few months after his parents had died, they'd come frequently. Fortunately, he had yet to endure such an embarrassing moment in front of any of his classmates or friends. His brother, however... He’d only seen it once, but he had been so patient and helpful. So Sasuke would do his best to imitate him.

"Breathe with me, just shallow and slow, just enough to be comfortable. Trust me, you won’t run out of air."

It was difficult for Naruto to do this, but he made his best attempt. His chest felt so tight, like the incoming air had nowhere to go.

"Hold, now exhale."

Sasuke was patient, remembering exactly how his brother's voice sounded, how it had been the only thing that had grounded him to the physical world. Hopefully it would help Naruto just as it had helped him. They ran through this several more times, and Naruto's vision was beginning to return to him as his body was oxygenated. His muscles were still clenched tight, however.

"Nothing's going to hurt you while I'm here. You're safe."

The compassion in Sasuke's words jerked Naruto out of his thoughts, Naruto turning to face the other. He had never heard such kindness in Sasuke's voice. Naruto was humiliated to notice his blurred vision and wet cheeks, the teardrops changing course over the thick indentation of his scars. He stared directly into Sasuke's dark and concerned eyes, suddenly feeling every bit as safe as Sasuke said he was. It took a few minutes for his body to follow suit, however.

"I've had these before. I didn't know what it was…" Naruto trailed off. "I just thought I was crazy."

Sasuke tentatively reached out to pet Naruto's forehead, his expression asking for permission. Naruto nudged his face closely into his hand.

"Then you wouldn't be the only one. I get them too," Sasuke frowned as he admitted this. Besides Itachi, no one knew. Sasuke almost regretted his words after they were spoken.

"Really?"

It certainly wasn't that Naruto didn't believe him. It was just very difficult to imagine someone as composed as Sasuke in this sort of distress. Still, the fact that even someone like Sasuke had them… It made Naruto feel a little better.

"Yes."

Readjusting himself, Naruto lay between Sasuke's arm and his torso. He felt Sasuke's toned muscles distinctly as Sasuke draped his arm over Naruto, the strength they implied making him feel protected. Naruto wiped away the tears on his cheeks.

"I suppose...I have some explaining to do," Naruto conceded with a hint of nervous laughter.

Sasuke pulled Naruto closer into him, leisurely stroking his back.

"No more than you'd like to."

Naruto could tell him his story if and when he pleased. He would respect his privacy and not push him into sharing things he wasn't ready to share. This was a courtesy that he wished others would have extended to him.

"It's okay... I don't think I'd have the guts to bring it up again."

But did Naruto ever want to bring it up again? Did Sasuke ever need to know? Couldn’t he just continue, just as Sasuke had tried to do with his own history, with a blissful ignorance? Did he really need to mar the only good thing in his present and future with the ugliness of his past? But as Sasuke’s soft and kind stare warmed his aching chest, he felt safe. And he felt, for the first time ever, like he _wanted_ to talk about it.

"Tell me what happened, Naru."

Sasuke’s voice was confident, but even he didn't know if he was ready to hear what he was about to hear. His chest felt icy, and his throat hurt as he swallowed. But he wouldn’t give himself away.

"I want to tell you, but I'm afraid… I haven't told anyone about this before, ever. I'm not a bad person, you know? I'm really not."

He couldn't be secretive, like Sasuke. Naruto hadn't had the opportunity yet to grow truly and deeply close to someone. It appeared that when this did occur, the secrets he'd kept from the world so easily started hammering at the surface.

He happened to know more about Sasuke than Sasuke knew about him, but this was only because Sasuke's secrets had been revealed against his will. He had no doubts that if he hadn’t overheard Sasuke and Itachi fighting that night, Sasuke would have kept his secrets still. How was Sasuke able to keep so much from so many people? Sasuke tilted his head, perplexed.

"Don’t be stupid. Of course you aren't."

It was an ironic statement, given that he’d sort of become Sasuke's moral compass.

"No, you don't get it yet. You'll think less of me."

"Listen, Naruto…” Sasuke insisted. “I have no right to judge you or whatever you've done in your past."

Naruto's chest tightened all over again, and he wondered if he should have waited for his body to calm down a little more before delving into something so sensitive. These assurances… Sasuke only spoke them because he didn't know the truth. How would he really react? The look on Sasuke’s face soothed him, but he couldn’t help but fear how much it would hurt him if the compassionate look on his face transformed to one of disgust.

"It's about..." Naruto sighed, "my face."

For Naruto, these first words were the most difficult. He fumbled with whatever fabric he could find, his forehead breaking out in a cold sweat. He was so afraid to speak the words he had now committed himself to speaking.

"Ah..."

Sasuke's palms sweat, and his throat felt tight. This was the elephant in the room, as far as Naruto was concerned. From the first time he saw Naruto, it was something Sasuke had been curious about. The scars were obvious, and unless Naruto decided to wear a ski mask, it was nothing he could ever hide. He imagined that he'd frequently gotten questions from children and the nosey and tactless, but Sasuke and he had never discussed them even once.

"I guess I'll tell you from the start, cuz it's a long story. When I was almost thirteen, the family I'd been staying with for a while had to give me up because of money problems. So I was placed with a man up by Bakersfield. He'd just lost his wife last year, so I think he was looking for another reason to live. He…. He was a very lonely and sad man - lonelier than I was, which says a lot. He missed his wife. I would hear him cry during the night from my bedroom. He didn't have many friends, and his wife had been infertile, so they had no kids. He was really all alone, just like me."

Naruto clenched his teeth before continuing. Sasuke listened silently.

"He was very nice to me though. He bought me all sorts of things and told me that I was the only person in the whole world he loved. Do you know how it feels to hear that, when you always felt like an intruder in peoples' homes?” Naruto asked, his voice quivering. “I felt like we understood each other. We were there for each other. But things got weird…"

In truth, Sasuke had no idea how Naruto must have felt. He had always felt welcome in his own home, with or without his parents. Since birth, he knew that he was loved, irreplaceable. Naruto had never had that assurance.

"Weird? What do you mean?"

Naruto glanced back up at Sasuke nervously. For an instant, he reconsidered telling Sasuke at all. If he left the subject matter be, he believed that Sasuke would've been just fine with leaving it rest. Sasuke was just that sort of guy. But what would Sasuke think of him if he didn't stop?

"One night… Late at night, he kissed me. Not…like on the cheek, actually on the lips."

For Naruto, this was the point of no return. Sasuke tried to avoid looking angry, but he did a poor job of it.

"Don't be mad at him. It wasn't molestation. He explained to me that when he did it, he could close his eyes and pretend like his wife was still alive. There wasn't anything sexual about it, at least I don't think. It was more emotional. I was helping him pretend. But… I let him do it. More than once."

Sasuke had expected to be shocked. He had expected to hear some things about Naruto that were difficult to stomach, but not this.

"You must think I'm a freak," Naruto muttered with a frown.

His heart was beating far too quickly. He wished he could analyze Sasuke's face closely for his true reaction, but he was too scared to look at him. Why would someone like Sasuke ever want to date someone with these sorts of issues? He'd been such an idiot to tell the truth.

"No. And I don't care what you say about this guy. I wish I could break his jaw."

So Sasuke was blaming his parent, and not him? It wasn't fair. It was his fault. He'd agreed to it. Still, it was better than Sasuke being disgusted by him

"Sasuke, that's not how it was. I…I didn't like it, but I didn't mind it. I didn't really care. He only kissed me on the lips. He didn't ever touch any other part of me or try to push me into more. He never forced me, and he told me that he didn't love me romantically. He didn't make any noises or grope or whatever... He'd just kiss me, close his eyes…and smile afterward. He'd thank me for helping him."

Sasuke fidgeted a little, refraining himself from starting a rather animated soliloquy about what he’d _love_ to do if he found this man, how he’d be absolutely delighted to break every bone in his body.

"He's an adult, and you were a child. It doesn't matter if you consented or not. He should've never put you in that situation."

Naruto's voice cracked as he spoke now, forcing back tears. "I initiated it, Sasuke! Only a few times, but I did! He would stop crying, and he'd tell me that I was the only thing that made him want to live. It wasn't only for him! It wasn't the actual action for me; it was how much it meant to him. Dammit… I actually felt loved for once!" towards the end, Naruto's voice raised to a shout, this face slightly reddened.

For just a moment, Sasuke was rendered speechless. He would have never known, not in a lifetime. Naruto, _his_ Naruto… He had been so desperate for affection that he had resorted to this. It was something Sasuke, who had garnered love and admiration throughout his lifetime so naturally, could never understand.

Sasuke was silent. He had done it now, Naruto thought. Sasuke was disgusted with him, as he had every right to be.

"Please… _Please_ say something!" Naruto sobbed, tears finally streaming down his cheeks. "Do you think I'm a freak?"

That word again, "freak." Sasuke wondered if these were the things Naruto told himself at night. Sasuke immediately felt a flash of heat in his gut as guilt consumed him. What was he doing, spacing out like that? This was about Naruto, not him.

"You're not a freak, Naruto,” Sasuke said, petting Naruto’s bangs back and pinning them behind his ear. “You were abused."

"I wasn't abused, not then. That came later."

Sasuke couldn't believe what he was hearing. To Naruto, this wasn't even abuse. How could he be so easy on this guy? He was in denial; there was no two ways about it. And how much worse had things really gotten?

"I knew it was unhealthy, even at that age. I just didn't care, because it made both of us happy, just in different ways. We didn't love each other like that, so it seemed okay. But as I got older, I started really understanding how fucked up the whole thing was. I even got a boyfriend I met at school, and I liked him… I was fourteen then. We didn't date for very long or get extremely attached, but he was fun to hang out with… Heh, and actually pretty hot,” Naruto even gave a slight chuckle at his last sentence.

“But if you count those kisses, I was cheating on him…with my foster parent. Isn't that the most fucked up thing you've ever heard?"

"I don't think it's that simple, Naruto. I don't blame you for it."

Sasuke stroked Naruto's hair and held his hand, realizing that this might be the most difficult secret Naruto had ever revealed in his life. Naruto continued, knowing that if he stopped, he might be unable to start again.

"Over the next year or so, he sort of…started to slip. He told me that his boss was trying to poison him, and just…a bunch of really bizarre I'm-about-to-lose-my-marbles sort of stuff. He'd drink at night, and I dropped a plate… He jerked me around by the hand and dislocated my wrist. I should've known right then that I needed to get out. But the look on his face when he realized he hurt me… He looked so horrified and guilty when he saw my wrist. He started talking to himself through the night, yelling and screaming at someone who wasn't really there… It was kind of like a dam that I knew had to burst. He just kept getting worse and worse, but I felt like I couldn't leave him. Who else would be there for him?"

Naruto seemed to shrink into Sasuke's arms now, his words becoming clumsier and more pressured.

"Even still, I knew we couldn't keep living like this. I saw the situation for what it really was. Plus I had a boyfriend at the time, and of course he had no clue what was going on. At first, I felt unfaithful and even a little scared just holding his hand because of what was going on at home, but he was helping me cope without even knowing. I couldn't stomach the dishonesty. The night I ended up running away, I told my dad that I still loved him, but I couldn't kiss him or pretend anymore. I made it clear I wouldn't ever do it again."

"Brave," Sasuke said gruffly. He honestly didn't consider that cheating, and regardless… This wasn't Naruto's fault. It was that asshole of a foster parent… He couldn't think about that. Again, he had to remind himself that this was about Naruto, not his own emotions. Naruto needed to be listened to, to be reassured.

"I was just weeks from fifteen at the point, so you'd think I would've been smart enough to say something sooner. I expected him to be upset. To cry or maybe even yell. But he just looked at me like he'd been slapped or something and walked out of the room, just like that. I knew he had to react at some point, especially given how he'd been acting lately, so it made me nervous. I was definitely expecting something bad, but still… I never would've guessed he was capable of..."

Naruto’s face was bright red now, his voice cracking as words failed him, struggling to continue. Sasuke wished he could do something to relieve him, his own heart beating uncomfortably in suspense. He grabbed Naruto's hand in his own, calmingly circling the palm with his thumb. Naruto grabbed onto it tightly, and his eyes watered.

"He came into my room while I was asleep and tried to force me. He started talking to me like I was his wife, but he was so drunk I could hardly even understand him. He reeked of alcohol, which I hate. At that point, I'd had enough. I punched him in the face, ended up giving him a bloody nose, and called him a psycho."

Naruto looked down and then back up at Sasuke, seemingly requesting assurance.

"I know it was mean, but I was just so sick of dealing with his issues and wanted to get some sleep. After I did it, I even felt a little bad for him."

Did Naruto seriously feel guilty for decking this guy? He really was far too nice. It went beyond Sasuke's comprehension.

"I'd say it was quite deserved, actually," Sasuke smirked. "Nice one."

"It was actually pretty stupid, as it turned out," Naruto laughed nervously.

"What happened?"

Naruto’s body began to tremble roughly. Sasuke was tempted to ask him to stop, to tell him that he didn't need to know. He hated watching Naruto suffer like this, but all the same, this was something Naruto had wanted to tell him. Sasuke's own heart was beginning to quicken, and he wondered if Naruto could feel it against his clothed flesh. Naruto's words grew pressured as his enunciation deteriorated. It seemed that he wanted to get these words out as quickly as possible, before he lost the nerve to continue.

"There was this flip-knife he always kept in his pocket, for protection he said. He took it out, held me down... He was sobbing, yelling… Could've fought harder than I did. I was afraid he'd kill me if I made him angrier. So I just begged him not to hurt me. God, I was so _stupid_. I just...wasn't thinking..."

Naruto was gripping Sasuke's fingers hard now, to the point that they were beginning to tingle. Every muscle in Naruto's body seemed to be tense as he fought not to sob, tears noiselessly streaming down his cheeks.

"So he took it to my face, and...” Naruto pointed to his cheeks, his finger quivering dramatically. “Yeah... This."

Naruto’s chest seemed to jolt as he held back a sob, his eyes wet and slowly trailing tears. Sasuke swallowed, hearing his own breathing echo in his head. The scars on his cheeks… So this is why Naruto ran away, why he became homeless, why he turned down shelters and foster care so adamantly… What could he say to this? He felt like it was his fault when Naruto began to sob. If only he could've said something...

A small but real part of Sasuke wished he'd never known. What he had heard appalled Sasuke in every sense of the word. He felt so enraged, so upset that something this unfair could happen to Naruto. He wondered what he wouldn't give to go back in time and save Naruto from everything he was to experience. But he was completely powerless, and nothing he could do would ever change the scars this left, both the physical ones and the emotional ones.

Sasuke rolled over on his side, now facing the blond, who had buried his face in the sheet. Sasuke had never been good with this sort of thing, but he decided immediately that he wouldn't give Naruto that look. Sasuke had come to despise it so thoroughly. Whenever he was forced to tell anyone about what happened to his parents, they would simply stare at him, wide-eyed and full of pity. The seconds would stretch on as their eyes stubbornly clung to his face.

He combed his fingers gently through Naruto's hair, and then he wrapped his arms around Naruto, who was lying on his side with the left side of his body draped over Sasuke. He felt Naruto’s body violently shake as he sobbed.

"Let it out. I'm here now."

He rested his hand on the side of Naruto's head, tracing his thumb around the curves of his ear. Sasuke was still in a state of shock. He couldn't believe Naruto had hidden this from the world, but still, it made him feel special to be the only one to hear it. He remembered being in Shizune’s office the other day, as they danced dangerously close to the day when so much had been taken from Sasuke. But he looked at Naruto and wondered if maybe he should be taking another path.

Leaning forward to Naruto's only exposed cheek, he kissed each of the three scars slowly. He felt the indents of each wound against his sensitive lips with each peck. Kissing them better, he mused. Feeling so helpless, this was the only thing Sasuke had the power to do. Naruto's cries silenced.

"You... You shouldn't touch me there."

Naruto rotated his head slightly, so that one tear-reddened eye faced Sasuke.

"Why not?"

Naruto gave a shaky sigh and a sad smile.

"They're there to remind me to be ashamed."

Naruto’s words hurt Sasuke, both physically and emotionally.

"Naruto… I know that no one has told you this yet, since you haven't told anyone, but it wasn't your fault. You were abused, and blaming yourself for it will only make you weak in the long run. Don't let that son of a bitch take anything more from you than he already has."

Naruto's tears were slowing, and for the first time since they had gotten on this subject, his tone sounded hopeful.

"You…really think it wasn't my fault?"

Sasuke shook his head.

"Of course not, Naru."

"Sometimes it just… The memories just play in my head again and again, like it’s happening right in front of me all over again. While I’m asleep, sometimes even while I’m awake… I really _am_ such a freak…”

_I've relived that scenario time and time again like it's a goddamned movie, and not only in my nightmares. So rest assured if you think I haven't 'fully experienced' this!_

These were words that Sasuke had spoken just days ago. He understood Naruto. He understood him so well that it hurt Sasuke down to his very core, because he knew just how badly Naruto was hurting. Sasuke had never experienced anything like Naruto had, but when it came to this, he just felt like…

“I know,” Sasuke responded quietly, lost in thought, his heart heavy with understanding.

“Eeeeh?!” Naruto answered him a high pitched voice, his teary eyes looking back at Sasuke with hurt. Fuck, that had certainly not come out right. He felt like he’d just kicked a puppy square in the face.

“Shit, no, I didn’t mean that last part,” Sasuke quickly corrected, sounding rather uncharacteristically awkward and blushing slightly. “I meant what you said before that.”

Naruto paused, then punching Sasuke in the shoulder with a smile.

“You asshole,” Naruto said with the ghost of a chuckle.

They lay together silently for a moment as Sasuke held Naruto, both of their emotions calming. Naruto bit his thumb as his eyes fell into the sheets. Sasuke shook his head, stroking his thumb against the marred flesh.

“You weren’t just saying that, were you?” Naruto asked softly, breaking the silence.

“Saying what?”

“You said, ‘I know.’”

Feeling a little cornered, Sasuke bit his bottom lip. Naruto, normally almost painfully oblivious, had read him. These strange idiot savant moments seemed to happen at the most inconvenient times for Sasuke.

Sasuke ruffled Naruto’s hair, looking down at him with a gentle smile.

“Shut up, idiot.”

Naruto smiled back for a moment.

“By the way, thanks for not calling me a freak.”

“Naruto you’re not a freak,” Sasuke replied, then pausing, “Though I can’t be sure about the bedroom yet.”

“Mwaahahaha,” Naruto said quietly, burrowing up tightly against Sasuke.

“That’s a horrible evil laugh,” Sasuke fussed. “Dr. Evil would be ashamed of you.”

“Nnngh! I love that movie!” Naruto replied, and Sasuke was so glad to hear Naruto’s typical enthusiasm begin to return.

“Trust me. I’m aware.”

Naruto chuckled, and they were quiet a while longer. Naruto still looked restless, but in some way that Sasuke could not describe, he looked peaceful. Beautiful and peaceful. Sasuke thought to himself, maybe, some skeletons aren’t meant to be kept in the closet. Sometimes you have to lay them out and let the sun bleach their bones.

“You know… I’ve been calling myself that word… Freak. Doesn’t that fit a kid who regularly nearly made out with his parent on his own free will? I’ve never had anyone tell me I was wrong before.”

“Naruto, listen to me,” Sasuke said sternly, grasping Naruto’s hand in an attempt to ground him. “I don’t want you talking to yourself like that anymore.”

This had happened to Naruto, and Naruto had had absolutely _no one_ to stand with him, to help him cope with what had happened. No wonder he sought reassurance. There was no one to tell him that this wasn’t his fault.

He related to Naruto, he did. But Sasuke had Itachi. He had school, and friends to distract himself. What did Naruto have? People asked Sasuke to talk about what happened to him so many times that he’d started tuning it out. He never did do much talking, but he’d at least had the option if he so chose.

Sasuke paused before continuing.

“And when the scenes of that night play in your head like a movie, and you smell the alcohol, hear the noises, remember just how sweaty your palms were, and it feels like you’re so vividly _there_ , I want you to remember this.”

Naruto looked over at Sasuke, eyes brimming with tears again. Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto, bringing the smaller boy close into his body.

“Remember this room, the color of my bedsheets, the breeze from the window, and the feeling of being in my arms and the warmth of our body heat. Remember my voice when I say this. _None_ of this is your fault. This man will _never_ hurt you again. You survived. You _won_. You’re the same idiot I met at St. Magdelene’s this summer, the idiot who became my friend and then my lover. And I like you just as you are. Remember _this_.”

Sasuke leaned forward, kissing Naruto softly, their tongues caressing each other as another tear fell down Naruto’s cheek. Sasuke was holding his hand so tightly.

“You can beat your past, Naruto.”

Naruto sniffed, wiping at his eyes. Tears streamed down Naruto’s cheeks.

“Did I upset you just now?” Sasuke asked, concerned.

Naruto quickly shook his head.

“No, God no. I’m just so thankful.”

Sasuke softly kissed Naruto’s forehead.

"You know…" Naruto noted with a sigh, "Every time I look in the mirror, these ugly scars remind me of how messed up and stupid I was. It’s front and center." He pointed to his cheek. "It's like I can't forget. And when people stare at me because of them, and I just feel so…ashamed."

Naruto bit his thumb as his eyes fell into the sheets, another tear falling down Naruto’s cheek. Sasuke glanced at the scars on Naruto’s face affectionately, cupping Naruto’s cheek in his hand and brushing his thumb over a particularly deep stretch of Naruto’s scar.

"Naruto, don't take this the wrong way, but I like them. When you smile, all stupid like you usually do, even with those scars on your face… I think you look really strong. You survived, so don't be ashamed."

Naruto went still. He couldn't believe Sasuke, of all people, would say something like this. He wouldn't have guessed that someone as distant as Sasuke had it in him, and this made his words all the more meaningful. He supposed, when he got to know the guy... He could be very kind. The tenseness and pain in his chest was transforming into something much lighter. Naruto's eyes began to well up again. Not one to disappoint, Naruto grinned, reaching all the way back to his molars as a tear escaped his eye.

Sasuke cast Naruto a half-smile in return. He was awed at how Naruto always wanted to give people a second chance, even though doing so had almost gotten him killed. After everything Naruto had endured, that smile seemed to penetrate Sasuke in a way that he could not express. It left him in awe. Sasuke could not bring himself to agree with Naruto's world view. He could also not help but regard Naruto with a sense of admiration, respect, and perhaps even love.

"Your breath still stinks," Sasuke murmured, their faces still pressed close together.

"So does yours," the blond chuckled lightly, his grin never wavering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a very cathartic and emotional chapter for me to write. I also have suffered from panic attacks and have had to relive a lot of trauma, so it hit close to home. For others that have experienced this, I hope that I portrayed this accurately. Any feedback would be wonderful.


	19. Chapter 19

The gods of Monday had bestowed their mercy upon Sasuke. Sasuke had received a call last night, a robotic male voice announcing the cancellation of school today. One of the main water pipes had ruptured at Sasuke's school Saturday afternoon. Naruto cheered when the automated message sounded over the answering machine.

It was early Monday morning now. Sasuke had arrived in the kitchen about an hour ago to serve himself some scrambled eggs, tomato slices, and orange juice. Naruto had been sleeping like a log, so he didn’t bother waking him.

Fortunately, this meant that his pre-calculus exam would be rescheduled to Tuesday. Sasuke took it upon himself to refresh his memory, glancing over the formulas. He was already one year ahead in math, and it still seemed tedious and painfully slow-paced to him. He wondered what they’d do with him senior year.

_“It's close to midnight, and something evil's lurking in the dark.”_

But suddenly Michael Jackson’s vocals emanated from his bedroom and distracted his thoughts. Looks like Naruto had finally woken up. At least he wasn’t singing to it.

_“Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart.”_

Sasuke tuned it out for the next several minutes, and continued to read. After all, tuning people out was one of Sasuke’s specialities. A deep, croaking voice concluded.

_“For no mere mortal can resist the evil of the thriller.”_

A few seconds of evil laughter persisted, and finally, _finally_ the song was over. Silence.

_“It's close to midnight, and something evil's lurking in the dark.”_

Son of a bitch. 

Sasuke groaned and rubbed his temples. Did Naruto have this song on loop or something? Sasuke had just arrived at a problem set that required the use of his graphing calculator, which was, naturally, in his bedroom desk.

_“Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart.”_

He trudged up the stairs, making his way to his bedroom door.

_“You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes.”_

He swung the door upon.

_“You’re paralyzed!”_

Oh dear god. Naruto was in his pajama pants, shirtless, which was really the only appealing thing about the situation Sasuke found himself in.

_“’CAUSE THIS IS THRILLER!”_

Naruto was shimmering side to side, kicking a leg up.

_“Thriller night. And no one’s gonna save you from the beast about to strike.”_

Sasuke watched the debacle in mute horror. Naruto didn’t skip a beat, holding his arms up and clawing from side to side, sometimes skipping the beat, but otherwise…

“Oh, hey Sasuke!” Naruto called out, completely unperturbed.

He lost a moment to staring, now questioning his taste in men.

“Naruto…” Sasuke said in a low and deliberate voice. “What the unholy fuck are you doing?”

“Workin’ on my moves, Sherlock. Aren’t you the one who’s supposed to be a genius?”

Naruto would not stop moving. Sasuke felt himself blush in secondhand embarrassment. He quickly made his way over to his desk, grabbed his calculator, and walked towards the door.

“Hey, wait!” Naruto called out. “I’m not busy with this or anything. Wanna hang out?”

Naruto’s body had adopted a slight pink flush, covered in the slightest sheen of sweat. And Naruto did not look half bad with his shirt off. Really, Sasuke had already studied for his pre-calculus test. He’d mostly just been brushing up.

“If you turn that damned music off.”

And Naruto actually obeyed.

“You’re such a buzzkill, Sasuke,” he griped.

The word was a little out of context, but Sasuke let it slide, plunking on his bed.

“Have you seen the music video?”

“Yes,” Sasuke lied.

“Man, it’s awesome!”

Naruto joined him in bed, lying next to him.

“Is that because you’re a Michael Jackson fan, a horror movie fan, or what?”

“Eh…” Naruto shrugged. “I like some of Michael Jackson’s stuff, but more from when he was younger. Like in Jackson 5, he was adorable! Man, that kid had some lungs.”

Now that the subject had been brought up, Sasuke had a theory that he wanted to test.

“So what about horror movies?”

“Oh…” Naruto answered with a nervous chuckle. “I mean…they’re cool. They’re just…not my thing.”

“Not your thing?” Sasuke asked skeptically.

“Yeah, I mean… It’s just a lot of cheap jump scares, and I’m really tough to scare. I mean, not to brag, but I have a _really_ high tolerance for this sort of thing.”

This was too delicious. Naruto was as transparent as a glass of water.

“I have one I’ve been wanting to watch. Do you think you could humor me and watch Son’s Blood with me tonight?” Sasuke said, struggling to hide a wicked half smile.

He wondered if Naruto had seen the trailers.

“Wouldn’t you like to watch something else?”

“No. I really want to watch Son’s Blood.”

“But we could watch something like… 21 Jump Street. Or the Spongebob movie.”

“Why don’t you want to watch Son’s Blood?”

Naruto shrugged.

“I don’t know. It just looks kind of cliché.”

“Or maybe you’re too chicken to watch it,” Sasuke baited quietly, glancing at Naruto out of the side of his eye.

 _“What?”_ Naruto asked lethally.

“Naruto, you and I both know why you don’t watch horror movies.”

 _“What?!”_ Naruto squawked.

“Are you deaf now as well as stupid?”

“Oh, that is _bullshit!_ I never would get scared of a movie!”

“Prove it. I dare you.”

Naruto paused, appearing both frustrated and irate.

“Unless you’re too pussy.”

“No. _NO!_ ” Naruto shouted. “I’ll watch your stupid movie with you and not even blink! You’ll see!”

“Sure,” Sasuke answered with an eerie calm. “I can’t wait for you to prove me wrong.”

* * *

They waited until it was dark, and they turned off Sasuke’s bedroom lights. They’d made popcorn for the movie and placed it in a huge bowl by the bedstand.

“Uh… Is it really necessary to turn all the lights out?”

“That’s how you watch horror movies.”

“Yeah, but what if we need to find the remote?”

They’d both sat on the edge of the bed, looking at Sasuke’s computer screen.

“I’m putting it on the bed stand.”

“And the popcorn?”

“The screen will give us enough light.”

“Oh,” Naruto answered with a forced laugh. “That’s perfect.”

But Sasuke sat right next to Naruto, just so he could feel even the slightest flinch, their arms pressing together. The movie began with a bang, causing Naruto to startle. Sasuke smirked.

“That was a cheap jump scare,” Naruto scowled.

As the movie continued, Naruto grew increasingly horrible at concealing his reactions, now occasionally hiding behind Sasuke’s shoulder as inconspicuously as he possibly could. He was not inconspicuous. Finally, he shot up in the air a good six inches with a yelp, scattering popcorn on Sasuke’s lap.

“Is this that high tolerance you were talking about?” Sasuke asked snidely.

“Fuck you!” Naruto shot back.

“You’re terrified of these things.”

Naruto pouted, eating a single piece of popcorn without responding.

“Am not.”

Sasuke looked over at Naruto incredulously.

“ _Fine_ ,” Naruto sighed. “But as long as I get to snuggle up to you, maybe cop a feel… I’ll be fine.”

Naruto bundled up next to Sasuke, who placed his arm over Naruto’s shoulder. Naruto smiled for just a moment. Sasuke was, temporarily, glad to have gotten this out in the open. At least until Naruto decided that since Sasuke knew the truth already, he could now say literally everything that came to his mind.

"Oh god oh god ohgodohgod. She shouldn't go in there... Why would she go in there?"

The female character walked into an empty room, where surely the villain hid.

"Are you going to shut up, or should I just turn on the subtitles?"

Naruto completely ignored him.

"Oh no... She's...she's gonna open that door."

Naruto lifted his hands to his mouth. Sasuke rolled his eyes as Naruto clawed into Sasuke’s forearm in suspense. A loud clash sounded as a picture frame fell over. Naruto jolted, spilling popcorn into their laps yet again.

"Fuck! I hate it when they do that. False alarm. Just to get you on the edge of your...EEE! Oh SHIT."

A malignant specter appeared, beheading the unfortunate character. Naruto emitted a high-pitched squeal, suddenly jumping about a foot to the left into Sasuke's lap. After that, Naruto watched the rest of the movie peeking through his fingers. And finally it was over.

Naruto cleaned up the popcorn he'd spilled, while Sasuke flicked off the television and turned the lights back on. It was getting a little late, just one minute to midnight. Sasuke glanced over at the clock, noticing that midnight had hit.

"Happy Tuesday," he grunted unenthusiastically.

Just seconds later, the air began to take on a strong chill. It started off mild, but seemed to worsen by the second.

"Shit..." Naruto shivered, sticking his arms underneath his shirt, "What happened to the temperature in here?"

Sasuke shrugged.

"Maybe the thermostat's busted."

Naruto laughed nervously, "Isn't a weird coincidence this all happened at midnight?"

The air was growing still colder. Goosebumps prickled Sasuke's upper body, Naruto huddling into him for warmth.

"You're reading too much into it."

"But... Has this happened before? I mean, it's really cold."

"No," Sasuke responded, "But does it really matter?"

Naruto silenced himself, his body tense as his eyes darted around the room.

"Besides, it's just the thermostat. It's not like the whole house is on the fritz."

It was horribly ironic that the lights began to flicker, a sickly glow illuminating the house before all fell to darkness.

"Sasuke... This... This is really weird. What's going on?"

Naruto was clinging to Sasuke's arm now, looking over his shoulders quickly, only to see darkness.

"Well, this is convenient,” Sasuke griped. “Pick up the phone. I'll look for the number for the power company."

Blond locks flung as Naruto shook his head.

"No, I think I wanna stay next to you."

"Too scared?" Sasuke taunted.

"Hell no!"

"Then pick up the phone."

Naruto grumbled, his groping hand finally stumbling upon the phone. Naruto picked it up...

"Sasuke... The line is dead."

Sasuke grunted, rummaging his bedstand for his cell phone.

"Great. It won't even turn on. That’s…a little fishy."

Naruto let out a faint whine, which he believed Sasuke would not hear. He did.

"This is...really weird. Why is all of this stuff happening at once?"

Sasuke shrugged, sitting next to Naruto.

"Stranger things have happened."

The older of the two tugged on Sasuke's sleeve tentatively.

"Sasuke... Has anything ever happened to make you think maybe your house is...haunted?"

Sasuke snickered.

"Are you trying to say there's a ghost in here?"

Naruto stammered, "Uh... Ghost, maybe ghosts. I don't know! The phones, the power, and the room temperature are freaking out on us within minutes of each other. Explain that!"

"Don't be an idiot," Sasuke chided. "There's no such thing as ghosts."

The smaller pointed at the other male frantically.

"Ah! Ah! See, you can't explain it!"

"I can't believe we're even having this conversation... What are you doing?"

Naruto had placed Sasuke in front of him, hiding behind his shoulders and head.

"I don't wanna look. What if something pops out at me?!"

"For fuck's sake..."

Loudly, from the bottom floor, static crackled in the air. Opera music played, glitching from some sort of interference from time to time. Naruto screamed, sounding a bit younger and more feminine than was flattering. Sasuke flinched as well.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygoood... This is so, so creepy."

Sasuke frowned, allowing Naruto to shrink behind him.

"It is a little creepy," Sasuke admitted, looking around his bedroom.

Naruto's jaw dropped. Even Sasuke was admitting it!

"But there has to be an explanation."

The music continued to blare beneath them, echoing throughout the dark and frigid house.

"Yes, Sasuke. _Ghosts!_ That's the explanation!"

Sasuke groaned, warming his biceps with his hands, "Fucking freezing in here..."

"See! See!"

"Are you even listening to yourself? This is ridiculous."

Naruto whimpered, "This is scary..."

"Listen, dumbass..."

Sasuke placed his hand on Naruto's shoulder before continuing, "I'm going to go downstairs and figure things out. Then you'll feel like a total idiot for all of this, and I'll laugh at you."

Naruto's reflexes worked faster than a steel trap, his hand clamping down on Sasuke's forearm.

"Nooo, no, _no_. You can't leave me in this dark, creepyass room all alone."

"What would you do without me?"

"We are not splitting up,” Naruto said, shaking his head emphatically. “That is like...the number one thing _not_ to do in this situation!"

Naruto could not see Sasuke roll his eyes through the heavy black, but it was more than evident in his voice.

"This isn't some B-grade horror flick. This is real life, and I'm not freezing my ass off in the dark because you're scared of the boogeyman."

Sasuke yanked his arm out of Naruto's vice grip.

"Nooonononononooooooo!"

And with that, Sasuke was gone, leaving the door slightly ajar as his footsteps bounced down the hall.

Well, this was it. Naruto had lived a full life, all sixteen years of it. Still, it was a shame he was going to die tonight. But there were good times. He looked back and encountered a myriad of good memories, almost all of which involved food. Ah, yes, that macaroni had been out of this world. His hands fumbled as he backed himself into the wall, covering his backside so that he would be ready for any...unwelcome intruders.

With a wicked smirk on his face, Sasuke used his flashlight to sift through the downstairs coat closet. Perfect, there it is. Tonight hadn't been that difficult, really. He assumed that Naruto would know nothing of timed thermostats or power breakers. He knew how those lights flickered when finally extinguishing; even he thought they were a little eerie. And the radio alarm clock? Of course, he hadn't expected Naruto to notice that it had a battery reserve.

And Naruto bought it all, hook, line, and sinker. For a prank this elaborate, things had been going even more smoothly than he had hoped. And why? Why would he do this, to the wide-eyed, skittish blond? With those flirty texts, Naruto had dug his own grave. Sasuke had even warned him. It had only been Naruto's first week at Sasuke's house, but Sasuke needed to be patient, to bide his time until is was almost completely unexpected. The idiot knew he had it coming, sooner or later. But the short and sweet version? No one pranks Uchiha Sasuke.

Pushing the hangers to the other side, Sasuke pulled out his brother's long trench coat in the very back. The coat draped over Sasuke's entire frame, the Uchiha popping the collar to obscure his face. He picked a fedora off the top shelf and carefully placed it on his head. If not properly concealed, his hairstyle would give him away in a heartbeat. He stood in front of the window, the street lights casting a faint illumination behind him.

He took a deep inhale. Sometimes Sasuke believed he had the emotional capacity of a watermelon. He would be a horrible actor he mused. Sasuke focused. What made him scared? Why did he have to be so damned fearless? Wait... Plant roots. Plant roots were creepy as hell.

"NARUTO!"

He made his best attempt at fear and desperation. That hadn't been so bad. Whatever the case, he must've been believable enough, as Naruto's feet clomped down the stairway so fast that it sounded like he'd rolled down a hill. He froze in his tracks as he saw the silhouette of a coated figure, standing tall and eerie behind the dimly lit window.

Sasuke did not believe that there were words in the English language to describe the shriek that projected out of Naruto's mouth. The closest he could come was to say that it sounded like some god-awful mixture of a pterodactyl, that Kocoum guy from Pocahontas, and a duck being asphyxiated.

Sasuke snickered, just about to laugh when Naruto closed the space between the two of them faster than a lightning bolt, all the while emitting his ungodly battle cry. No, this was...not supposed to happen. Naruto grabbed a flowerpot on the way, violently chucking it at Sasuke's head. Luckily, Sasuke ducked, taking the collision on his left shoulder blade. Sasuke coughed.

"Fuck!" Sasuke swore.

Naruto continued to punch the mysterious figure, catching its back and arms as it protected its head.

"Where's Sasuke?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH SASUKE?!"

"Stop it! I'm Sasuke!"

But Naruto could not hear him over his own hysteria. In the scuffle, the fedora flew off of Sasuke's head.

"Where is he, you bastard?!"

"It's me, you moron!" Sasuke shouted as loudly as he could muster.

Naruto’s jaw dropped, staring at the coated figure and pointing frantically.

"Possessed!"

Sasuke groaned. He'd done too good of a job, perhaps.

"Would you fucking listen? Considered yourself paid back in full."

Naruto squinted his eyes suspiciously.

"Payback?"

"Yes," Sasuke sighed. "After all the shenanigans you caused with my cell phone, I told you I'd get you back."

A pause. What was Sasuke talking about?

"You!"

Naruto gave Sasuke one last emphatic point before his hands plummeted to his sides.

"You fucking...assdickshitfuckstick... _douche canoe!_ "

Ink black brows rose as Sasuke took a moment to appreciate the originality of this newly discovered expletive.

“Payback’s a bitch.”

Still catching his breath, Naruto erupted into laughter.

"You scared the shit outta me!"

"Yes, that was the idea."

"That..." Naruto panted. "Okay, I admit. That was good."        

"But why the hell would you attack an intruder in the house? You're supposed to run."

Naruto laughed, ruffling the hair at the back of his head.

"Sorry, man. Fight or flight. Sometimes adrenaline makes the choice for you."

So, perhaps not everything had gone to plan. The bruise on Sasuke's shoulder probably wouldn't disappear for at least a couple weeks. Still, remembering the impressive scream that Naruto gave at the night's climax, Sasuke knew that it had been worth it.

"Learn your lesson yet?"

Naruto chuckled.

"Oh, I learned my lesson alright."

Sasuke smirked triumphantly.

"That is...you look damned sexy in a trenchcoat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so fun to write. Naruto's gone full dork on us. What do you guys think?


	20. Chapter 20

"I'M. AN. American badass. Watch me kick. You can roll with rock, or you can SUCK MY DI..."

Upon hearing the garage door creak upwards, Sasuke muted his computer, Naruto's vocals only carrying on a couple seconds afterward. These days, it wasn't uncommon for Sasuke's room to be filled with singing of sometimes questionable quality. When Sasuke was in a good mood, he turned a blind eye and put in earbuds. When he was in a bad mood, Naruto took a pillow to the face.

"What the hell, Sasuke?! That was the best part!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Didn't you hear the garage? Or was it too difficult to hear over your wailing?"

"Aw!"

Naruto pouted. Itachi was home, which meant near silence for the rest of the night.

"Don't whine."

Sasuke pivoted his desk chair to face the bed, inclining Naruto's face and kissing him. Lips barely touching, their tongues quickly slicked over each other before they parted. Naruto was smiling, appeased by the gesture. Sasuke enjoyed this, being able to slip kisses to the other so casually. There wasn't always a need for anything more. No hormones needed to come into play. Just a brief reminder of what they meant to each other.

The front door creaked open as Itachi entered, only to be slammed shut behind him. Distracted, Sasuke instinctively looked over his shoulder.

"Dude, what's up with your brother tonight?"

Sasuke looked uneasy but quickly dismissed the matter with a shrug.

"I don't know. Maybe he just stumbled."

And taken the door with him? Possible. Not entirely convinced, Naruto nodded.

"Yeah, you're probably right."

Sasuke attempted to scroll through the e-mail, finding himself unable to concentrate. He couldn’t hear anything from the floor beneath them.

"I'm hungry," Sasuke lied.

There was probably nothing amiss, but all the same, he figured that there was no harm in checking.

"Want me to bring you anything back up?"

"Hmmm..." Naruto paused, staring towards the ceiling lackadaisically before returning his eyes to Sasuke. "A bag of Fritos, a taco, a carrot, a roll of duct tape, a tangerine, and a stapler. Oh! And an ice cream bar."

Sasuke knit his brows, staring at Naruto a moment before replying.

"I'm not even going to ask."

Sasuke descended the stairs, deciding to sneak Naruto's grocery list up to his room later, after Itachi had left the main room and kitchen area. Itachi was sitting in front of the closet, taking off his collared wool coat and setting his briefcase away.

"Hey Itachi," Sasuke said casually.

Itachi didn’t look back at Sasuke when he responded.

"Hi."

Sasuke halted, his eyes drifting back to his brother. Itachi was staring into the back of the closet, long after his business there was complete.

"You're being weird," Sasuke informed him, looking at Itachi with furrowed brows.

Itachi's face fell down, and his shoulders tensed before Itachi finally faced his brother, a rigid smile on his lips.

"I'm fine, Sasuke."

Sasuke would think that as bright as his brother was, he would have managed how to tell a decent lie by now. The man almost looked dizzy. Sasuke sighed, refusing to let Itachi off the hook.

"Stop spacing out and sit down. Come on."

Obediently and without response, Itachi followed Sasuke into the kitchen in silence. He wished his brother would just speak up and relieve him of his suspense. He sat next to him at the kitchen table.

"What's up with you?"

Itachi looked up at Sasuke almost nervously, seemingly choosing his next words as he lowered his head again. A trembling sigh issued from the elder brother.

"I got fired."

Sasuke’s face remained blank. Sure, it must suck to get fired. It could bum out anyone, and shit, they needed the money. He could understand being scared about making ends meet, but this was Itachi. Itachi, who seemed so untouchable to Sasuke even upon losing his parents and being burdened with...well, him.

"...I see."

Itachi had taken out several loans to pay for their living expenses, Sasuke's psychiatric care, and Itachi's exorbitant tuition. They were already in debt, but Itachi's generous wages were at least keeping them up and running. After Itachi graduated and began making the salary of a UCLA attorney, he would be able to pay the loans back and support both himself and Sasuke. It would work out perfectly.

At least that was the plan. Sasuke doubted that Itachi could borrow much more from the bank than he already had. Sure, things would be fine once Itachi graduated. He'd be bringing home some big money. But what would they do until then? But the fact that Itachi looked so rattled was what made Sasuke uneasy.

“Your boss was a dick anyway,” Sasuke answered, hoping to do what he could to reassure his brother. “Maybe you can find a better job."

Itachi shook his head.

"No... It's not the same. It's not just the wages. I'll lose the tuition reductions, _and_ our health insurance. This is all my fault."

Sasuke pat Itachi's shoulder a single time, his hand just slightly rough. Seeing Itachi falter like this... It unnerved him. Itachi was always so brave, the one who knew all the answers and had the big plan. But this was all the more reason for Sasuke to exude confidence.

"I know you, and I know you did everything you could. Don't worry about it. We'll be fine."

Itachi nodded. Sasuke could have sworn he saw his brother's black eyes glass over with tears, though his cheeks were dry. After their parents died last year, he had only seen Itachi cry twice. This situation was suspicious.

"Yeah... Right, we'll be fine."

Sasuke respired, regarding Itachi with equal portions of impatience and concern. It was obvious that Itachi did not believe his own words.

"I get the feeling there's something I don't know about."

Itachi shook his head, his pony tail jostling along with him.

"It's nothing."

What was the use? This guy was tight-lipped as a clam. It wasn't uncommon for Itachi to push him away like this. "It’s inappropriate for a parent to burden their child with their own stresses." That was Itachi's mindset. But that wasn't them. Their parents were gone, and no one could fill their shoes - not even Itachi. Sasuke inhaled, doing his best to remain calm.

"Itachi, look... You're not my father. You're my brother. It's not your job to hide problems from me. We used to be a lot more open with each other, and I don't see why that has to change."

The elder glanced up from his lap, bewildered. Sasuke had hinted that he felt this way many times before, but he had yet to say it so directly.

"I ask because I want to know. I can handle it, so don't get fussy about it."

The smile on Itachi's face was much milder, but it also seemed genuine.

"I suppose you had to find out eventually... I'm sorry to burden you with this, Sasuke."

He had to appear perfectly serene, even though he felt his heart flutter and his stomach freeze. What was Itachi talking about? His mind darted from scenario to scenario, each less pleasant than the last. Would he just get to the punch already? The way Itachi cautioned, the way he padded his words... It only made Sasuke feel worse.

"I'm going to get a little sick, but then I'm going to get better. My chances for this surgery are good, so don't worry about me going anywhere, okay?"

Visibly torn, Sasuke heard his own breath rasping in and out of his chest. It was loud - too loud. The fact that Itachi had started giving him survival statistics before even getting into the specifics unnerved him. What did he mean by his “chances?” Was Itachi intimating that he might be in danger of…

What was Itachi talking about? He hated how vague Itachi was being, as if he didn't know if Sasuke could take the truth. What did he mean by "sick"?

"What exactly is wrong with you?"

Itachi cleared his throat before continuing.

"I have...a growth on my stomach. It's been growing more quickly over the past couple weeks. I need to have a surgery to remove it."

Sasuke stood with his mouth slightly ajar. He knew better than to do this, but he was caught unaware.

"A growth? You mean like...a tumor?"

Itachi smiled at Sasuke reassuringly, which only made Sasuke feel guiltier for how shaken he was sure he appeared.

"Yes."

What? Was this really happening? No, not so soon after he had lost his parents. Life had never been so unpredictable in the past. Why was Itachi in jeopardy now?

“Shit.”

Sasuke bit his lip hard, willing himself to keep his composure.

“Is it malignant?”

“Stage one,” Itachi said quietly.

_Cancer._

Words like cancer, tumor, surgery... They careened and collided between Sasuke's ears, leaving him disoriented, constricted, and frightened. The constant "low-grade" sicknesses, the nausea, the fact that he'd been seeing less trash in the garbage can... They made sense now. He thought that Itachi had just been tired and overworked. He thought that he was eating at school. Fuck.

Sasuke had no idea what to say. What would he ever say to something like this? He didn’t want to lose his brother. His breathing was beginning to feel shallow.

This. This was exactly why Itachi always hesitated before sharing things with him. He was afraid that Sasuke would overreact, just like he was tempted to do now. He would have to stay cool. He'd have to be strong for his brother. He counted silently in his head, calming his breath so that he would not hyperventilate. Sasuke grounded himself.

“What does the treatment plan look like?”

He knew his brother, and he knew that his brother could read him. Itachi didn’t want to be coddled, and Sasuke was sure Itachi understood that Sasuke would naturally be here to support him, come hell or high water.

“Surgery, to start with. After that, I may need chemo or radiation. They don’t know yet.”

God, even the thought of Itachi going through chemo… Sasuke’s hands were trembling, so he hid them behind his back. Hadn’t Itachi endured enough already?

And of course, there was one, all too important question Sasuke wanted to ask. What exactly were the chances of Itachi making his way out of this alive?

“The prognosis…” Itachi began.

Clearly he’d read Sasuke’s mind.

“It looks good. They caught it early, and the tumor cells are well-differentiated, which means that it’ll tend to spread more slowly.”

He’d been too kind to reassure Sasuke like this, but Sasuke didn’t want Itachi to hold back for his sake. Also, he’d basically skated around Sasuke’s question.

“Look, Sasuke… Most people don’t survive stomach cancer, but in my case, I’ve got a huge advantage. They’re telling me at the worst, I have only one chance out of five of not making it.”

Figuring an 80% probability, his brother, his last family member on the planet, had a one in five chance of _dying_. Sasuke's brain had done the math involuntarily, and he was plagued by the same figures that were supposed to reassure him. He swallowed hard. Keep it together.

"How long have you known?"

Itachi's head lopped downwards.

"Almost three weeks."

Weeks? He'd kept this from him for _weeks_? Sasuke's voice was clearly baffled, and even a little hurt.

"Why would you keep this from me?"

Itachi's eyes were pleading and apologetic.

"I know, Sasuke, I know. But you've gone through more than anyone your age should ever have to. You worry over me so much as is... I just couldn't do this to you."

Itachi's words stung. Sasuke had made his own issues so evident that Itachi felt obligated to shove his own turmoil aside...even something like this. God, even something as simple as Itachi showing up an hour late to pick him up could make Sasuke fly off the handle. No wonder Itachi kept this to himself. His brother needed his help, and Sasuke had been too egocentric to even realize it.

"I'm not the only one having a hard time. We're supposed to have each other. That's how it's supposed to work. What did you expect to tell me when you had the surgery?"

Itachi shrugged.

"I would've just told you right before, I suppose. Less time for you to worry."

Sasuke had approached Itachi because he looked stressed, desperate, and overwhelmed. Sasuke had pushed Itachi into confiding his troubles in him. Like hell would he add consoling a brother nearing a panic attack to that list. He had to be strong.

"I... I would've had the surgery earlier, but so much was happening."

Sasuke's eyes slumped to the ground. Was this his fault? Had he caused such a ruckus that he'd prevented Itachi for seeking help when he really needed it? Had he relied on Itachi that profoundly? He had so cluelessly been endangering Itachi's health. Had _this_ been what was on Itachi’s mind when they had that horrible fight a couple weeks back?

Itachi's eyes immediately broadened as he shook his hand.

"No no, not you, Sasuke. I guess that was a part of it, but it was such a horrible crunch period at work, and I had this huge case study to present for my liability tort class... I should have had the surgery when I could."

Itachi was making excuses, surely. He didn't want Sasuke to feel guilty. Even Itachi had admitted that Sasuke had been "a part of it." And this was supposed to be his last family left, someone for whom he would give his life...

"When are you having the surgery?"

Itachi smiled sadly, shaking his head.

“That's the thing. When I got fired today, I lost my health insurance. And with my pre-existing condition, I'd have to pay an arm and a leg to find something new. They want about two hundred grand for the surgery."

Sasuke was disciplined, remaining composed yet empathetic. This was bad. From what Sasuke had assessed, this surgery was crucial to Itachi's wellbeing, and even his survival.

"Whatever the case, Sasuke, I can find a way to have the surgery. They’ll operate on me; I know that. It’s the time afterward that has me concerned. "

Itachi's forehead fell to his palm.

"At this point... I just don't know what to do..." Itachi trailed, his voice cracking.

Sasuke paused. Itachi was near tears, and it shook Sasuke to the core. He knew that for Itachi to show this vulnerability, the situation had to be dire. All the more reason for Sasuke to ensure that he detracted from the problem rather than contributed to it.

"What about my college fund?"

It was only three thousand bucks in there, but it was better than nothing. Itachi gaped.

"No, I can't take your college fund. You need that."

Doing his best to lift Itachi's spirits, Sasuke smirked.

"I didn't say I was _giving_ it to you, asshole. Consider this a loan. You can pay me back when you're some hotshot lawyer."

Although Itachi was reluctant to accept the money, he seemed relieved.

"When I'm some hotshot lawyer, I'll pay it back with interest. That helps, Sasuke. Thank you. It brings us close, but I’ll still need to raise a few more grand before I go into this surgery for a lot of the after costs. Tutoring pays well.”

What would they do? He'd always been such a burden on his brother. It had been a rather one-way arrangement, Itachi always giving and Sasuke always taking. He hated watching this happen to someone so special to him.

He hated being so young. He hated being a child. Useless. Powerless. This situation was out of his control. What could he do? Well, there was...one thing.

"I'll figure that out. Just have your surgery."

Itachi perked a brow, staring at Sasuke in disbelief.

"You know I’m talking like five grand, right?"

Sasuke was fully aware of how preposterous this sounded, but he didn't care. He knew what he was capable of. Maybe others would underestimate him, but Sasuke would not make this mistake.

"Until they can fit you in for surgery and figure out the billing crap, tutor. I'll take care of the rest."

Itachi's arms dropped as he stared at Sasuke, full of dry skepticism.

"You're telling me that you're going to raise five thousand dollars?"

Sasuke didn't waver.

"Yes."

Itachi seemed torn between laughing and simply shaking his head.

"Sasuke, you're fifteen years old. How do you expect to make that kind of money?"

Sasuke frowned, hating how his age always bit him in the ass like this. He felt so much older. He felt like he was adult. He had certainly had lived through enough, and he sometimes felt like he was an old soul, tired and overwrought. Yet the world would never view him this way. Still, he knew just how he was going to do this. He had seen how lucrative it was firsthand.

"I will. Just don't expect it overnight"

"But Sasuke..."

Sasuke simply shook his head. He was aware of how ludicrous this plan seemed, but there were things Itachi didn't know.

"Ever since our folks died, it's all been about me. You're always taking care of me, worrying about me, and fighting for me. So for once, I'm going to take care of you, and you're going to deal with it."

Itachi simply stared. He couldn't think to do much more, his bottom jaw opening and closing with silent words. In a gesture Sasuke was all too familiar with, Sasuke held his pointer and middle fingers together and nudged them between Itachi's eyebrows.

"We'll get through this, Itachi. Just like we've always done."

Sasuke sounded dauntless and certain, but his insides were writhing against each other. The misting of sweat on his chest felt cold. There were two people who took the vast majority of his affections: Itachi and Naruto. One of them had a tumor in his gut and needed care they couldn't afford, and the other was molested at knife-point a couple weeks ago.

Sasuke's mind returned to one of the first nights he'd ever spent with Naruto. Itachi had been late to pick him up and didn't answer his cell phone. He'd fretted, catastrophized, and immediately lashed out at Itachi the moment he took the passenger seat. Again, when Naruto was forced to leave the park, he fought bitterly with his friend and spent hours that night fretting. But compared to his current situation, these were minor hiccups.

He knew that he could be paranoid, that his mind liked to run away with itself. Still, didn't he have a right to be? It wasn't rare that he was actually right. Given Sasuke's anxious disposition since the fire, the stress was so great that he could hardly react. Yet this was not a time to lose his head. People were counting on him.

Itachi wiped at a moist eye. From the beginning of their conversation, it seemed that Itachi was close to tears. However, he'd successfully avoided crying. That would've been a thoroughly disturbing experience, and Sasuke didn't know how much more he could handle in one night.

"Thank you, Sasuke."

Itachi reached towards Sasuke, wordlessly soliciting a hug. Hugging his brother? That was weird. The two of them were close, but they didn't exactly have a hugging sort of relationship. Unintentionally, Sasuke's nose twitched as he hesitantly gandered at his brother.

What the hell... He leaned towards Itachi, their arms bumping against each other as they gracelessly tried to decide whose arm would be on top, on which side. Their faces nearly collided as they slid past each other. After a couple muttered eh's and um's, they held each other, both bodies rigid and tense. As they parted, Sasuke cleared his throat, and Itachi tucked a long strand of hair behind his ear.

"That was...really weird, wasn't it?"

The younger brother nodded slowly.

"Yes. Let's not do that again."

Itachi chuckled, lifting his hand to his mouth. Having been present for all fifteen years of Sasuke's life, he knew well how to take his candor.

"No?"

The teen shook his head and smiled.

"No."

With a shoulder pat and a good night, the brothers parted. Sasuke walked up the stairs quietly, towards his bedroom. He gently opened the door and closed it behind him, now sauntering over to his swiveling desk chair.

"Hey! Where are my tangerines?"

Plunking himself down, Sasuke placed his right hand at the keyboard but quickly lost himself in thought. He inhaled. Exhaled. Inhaled. He counted the seconds, determined to keep his cool.

"Sasuke..."

Naruto tugged Sasuke's sleeve, and the Uchiha stared back at him listlessly and devoid of attitude.

"Hey, is everything okay?"

What was wrong with Sasuke? Sasuke was always so clever and observant, but now he seemed dazed. A deep sigh escaped from Sasuke's chest. It seemed that his body had clung to it involuntarily. At the sound, Sasuke jerked into consciousness.

"Yeah. Everything's fine."

Sasuke couldn't tell Naruto what happened. He didn't want to think about this anymore, let alone explain it to someone. He didn't want Naruto trying to leave because he felt guilty about burdening him. Most importantly, he didn't want any questions when he did what he knew had to be done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this was late! Work's picked up like crazy for me, and I kind of had a small psych relapse, but I'm fine now.
> 
> Anyhow, let's start a prayer circle for Itachi.


	21. Chapter 21

To say the least, Sasuke had not been looking forward to school today. He had quite a chore in front of him, and somehow, this made him despise the dimly lit halls, the crowded classrooms, and the greasy-smelling cafeteria even more. If only he’d been older, he could have gotten a job. If only he hadn’t lost his possessions in the fire last year, he could have sold them. His options were limited. He had told Itachi that he’d take care of the money, and that was exactly what he was going to do.

When he left for school this morning, Sasuke still hadn’t explained his situation to Naruto, claiming that Itachi had called off work sick today. He supposed that this was a version of the truth. Hopefully this wouldn’t end up like the last secret he kept from Naruto, yanked out into the light at some horribly inopportune moment.

He’d had a quick conversation this morning with Itachi as he got himself ready for school. The surgery was expensive enough as is, but it was only the beginning. Sure, there were government programs they could use, at least to keep themselves fed. But what would happen after that? Afterwards, Itachi would need expensive medication, possibly chemo, and who knew what else.

Sasuke remembered the way Itachi’s voice had cracked when he told Sasuke he didn’t know what to do. He’d had never seen Itachi look like this, not even when their parents died. Itachi always had a plan. He was prepared for anything. Itachi tried to hide it, but Sasuke could see fear on his face. Sasuke knew that this wasn’t the time for him to buckle. He’d pick up the slack this time.

Not that Sasuke wasn’t terrified himself. As Naruto slept last night, he succumbed to the internet and did whatever research he could. His hand quivered on the mouse, and he stared at the screen wide-eyed when he found that Stage IA stomach cancer only had a 71% 5-year survival rate. Stage IB lowered to 57%. Any literature he read kept stressing that these survival rates could vary significantly from case to case, but… It made Sasuke’s chest tighten when he saw that stomach cancer had the fifth highest mortality rate of common cancers, right after pancreatic, liver, lung, and esophageal. He couldn’t look at the screen, clutching his chest and trying to ground himself. God, not him too…

Suddenly Itachi’s 80% 5-year survival rate Itachi had given Sasuke seemed a little less reassuring. It appeared that the uninsured had a 40% stronger chance of dying for medical conditions compared with the general population. Most of it seemed to boil down to a lack of preventative care and regular doctor’s visits. But Sasuke did find lawsuits accusing hospitals of neglecting to care for uninsured patients.

Sasuke was deadly silent as he conducted this research, the sounds of Naruto’s quiet snoring filling the room. He’d delete his browser history afterward. It seemed that Naruto was bound to discover the truth, but Sasuke needed time first. He wouldn’t let Naruto see him so shaken.

It seemed like a sick joke. For someone to lose their parents, unexpectedly become something akin to a parent, and then be diagnosed with cancer just seemed like too much. Itachi was trying to be strong for Sasuke, but Sasuke could read Itachi better than Itachi would give him credit for. One thing was certain: the brothers were in one hell of a lot of trouble.

Sasuke didn’t understand why Itachi was so insistent on raising this money before he’d consent to surgery. Itachi explained to Sasuke that for a while after the surgery, he wouldn’t be able to bring in any income. He said that he’d called his doctor, and he had said that waiting a few weeks would make no difference. Something about the tumor cells being differentiated? Still, it pissed Sasuke off that Itachi would lag on something so important. All the more reason for Sasuke to take matters into his own hands. He didn’t give a damn what Itachi’s doctor said. He refused to take chances here.

The night before, Sasuke shoved the majority of his valuable possessions in his backpack while Naruto was sleeping. He found it ironic that his former shoplifting habit would have such a strange way of becoming convenient. Perhaps this was his penance, although he was about to commit a much more egregious sin. Back then, he did these things for exhilaration, for shits and giggles. If only things were so simple now.

At school, Sasuke’s stoicism was flawless. This was a skill he’d honed over the past year, and a damned fortunate one at that. His backpack was full of whatever valuables Sasuke had. He hadn’t had time to accumulate much of any worth since the fire by legal means. Most of these items were stolen goods.

The very first thing he had stolen was a serpent necklace. It seemed like such a long time ago that he had dropped it down his sleeve, basking in the rush as he passed through those metal detectors. Yet he remembered that day well. The item had been replaced by a twenty dollar bill before third period. He hoped to sell off his only mp3 player for a reasonable price within the next couple days. How he wished that he still owned the Playstation 3, XBox, and digital camera that had been destroyed in the fire. This was the easy part.

Just before the alarm rang for lunch, Sasuke situated himself near his former friend’s classroom. A frustrated huff of air escaped Sasuke as he noticed Kabuto exiting the class and walking down the hall towards the cafeteria. The man walked out the door, his backpack slumped lazily over one shoulder. Given their last interaction, this was one of the last people Sasuke wanted to talk to at the moment, clenching his teeth as he watched Kabuto from the back. But people were counting on him.

He needed to talk to Kabuto before he reached the cafeteria. He didn’t want the other three hearing this. He wanted to keep it from them as long as possible. So he intersected the man’s path.

“Hey, Kabuto.”

It took considerable effort for Sasuke to keep his tone from sounding as begrudging as he felt.

“Oh, hello Sasuke,” Kabuto smirked.

Sasuke kept his voice low, though not to the point that he appeared suspicious.

“I have something to talk to you about. Have a few minutes?”

Kabuto cocked his head at Sasuke.

“Of course, for you.”

He tried not to roll his eyes. They walked together in silence for several seconds.

“So, you’re talking to me again, hm? It’s nice to see you get past your little temper tantrum.”

Despite himself, Sasuke’s fist clenched tightly inside his jacket’s sleeve. What he wouldn’t give to break those damned glasses right across that smug face of his at this very moment. But perhaps this was for the best. If Sasuke could play up his avoidance as a temporary matter of stubbornness and pride, Kabuto might be more willing to cooperate with him. Kabuto didn’t have to know that had Itachi not lost his job, he would have never talked to the senior again if he could help it.

“Just so we’re clear, never pull something like that on me again.”

Kabuto swatted at Sasuke dismissively.

“Is that what you wanted to talk to me about? Hey, if I’d have known it would be such a problem, I never would have done it.”

He wanted to go off on Kabuto, to give him the verbal lashing of a lifetime. But that would hardly suit his purposes.

“No. I wanted to talk to you about something else.”

Kabuto raised his brows. It was understandable that he’d be surprised. Sasuke could count on one hand the number of times he’d spoken with Kabuto privately.

“Well? It’s not like you to beat around the bush, Sasuke.”

This was the worst part.

“How’s the inventory?”

There was no secret between the two of them as to what that meant. Kabuto grinned back at Sasuke. The pony-tailed senior had been waiting to hear this question from Sasuke all year.

He couldn’t believe he was doing this. He couldn’t believe he’d ever want to play a part in any of this bullshit. Of course, it was dangerous. But even beyond that, it was something that had never even remotely appealed to him. He could walk away from Kabuto right now. He could tell him to forget about it, and that would be that. But he had promised to take care of his brother. He forced himself to speak.

“Overstocked and top quality, as usual. Why do you ask?”

It was more than obvious that Kabuto knew where this was headed. Prior to this, no amount of pressuring, manipulation, or “reasoning” had budged the stubborn Uchiha. Kabuto was just waiting for those precious words, savoring his victory.

“I want in.”

Well, there it was. Kabuto would never let him forget it now. To make matters worse, the Kabuto merely laughed.

“Finally! I was wondering when you’d just cut all that pussy shit and dip a toe in the big leagues.”

“This is temporary and short-term,” he said firmly. “I mean it.”

Kabuto smiled back at Sasuke.

“Of course. You can quit whenever you want to. I’m not going to force you or anything.”

Sasuke knew that Kabuto didn’t believe him. “It’s only temporary.”  Kabuto had heard that many times before, and maybe he’d even said it a few times himself. But Sasuke really did mean it. If only he’d been older, he would have raised the money legitimately. But he couldn’t afford to wait. He knew his options as a fifteen-year-old were shoddy at best, and even then, no job he could take would raise money like this.

Sasuke didn’t trust Kabuto in the least. He only hoped he could get out of this situation before either he got caught and ended up in juvie, or Kabuto crossed him. Sasuke wasn’t a dealer, no. He wasn’t making a career of it; with help from his brother, a couple months should be enough. Maybe when he was an adult, he’d look back on all of this with a shake of the head, wondering how such a time could have been a part of his otherwise clean and well-behaved existence. Everyone had a time like this in their lives, Sasuke reasoned.

Fortunately, the hallways were loud, themed music playing over the PA system for one of their handful of school spirit days.

“This is pills and weed,” Sasuke said in a voice that left no room for negotiation. “Nothing hard. No coke, no tweak, none of that shit. Understand?”

Kabuto shook his head.

“Sasuke. Like I said, I’m not going to force you into anything, okay?”

Maybe he wouldn’t know exactly what Kabuto was scheming, but if he stayed alert, he could likely evade him. He had been stupid to trust Kabuto enough to accept an open container of alcohol from him. He didn’t want to make such a mistake again. Sasuke only nodded at Kabuto curtly.

“I’ll talk to Deidara and see if I can put you in touch with some buyers. I’ve got to hurry home today, so I’ll hand the stuff over to you after school gets out. You should be able to make at least a couple sales today. These kids will pay almost anything, so the money’s good.”

...Today? He had needed the money quickly, yes, but he hadn’t expected to be peddling drugs just hours after this conversation. He had spoken before abstractly. Suddenly, it felt so real to him. His breath came shallow. He couldn’t believe he was in this situation. He hid all of this well. If anything, the Uchiha had a remarkable poker face.

“I need to borrow your scale for today then.”

Kabuto nodded reassuringly.

“Of course. Don’t worry, I’ll tell you everything you need to know. You can take all of the cash just for today, to get you started”

This was, perhaps, an incentive to keep Sasuke from getting cold feet. Still, he appreciated it. It wasn’t any small gift.

“Thanks...”

Kabuto read Sasuke’s hesitation now.

“I think you’ll be good at this, Sasuke. You may not know much about your product, but I can help you with that easily. You have the brains for business and enough social influence to make some big waves, and that’s what counts.”

Flattery, though from Kabuto’s expression, it did not seem to be fully self-serving. Perhaps Kabuto remembered being in Sasuke’s situation...or perhaps he was just a better actor than Sasuke was.

They reached the cafeteria and took a seat with their usual group. Juugo smiled warmly upon seeing Sasuke, giving him an exuberant pat on the back. Karin waved, and Suigetsu offered a high five, which Sasuke reluctantly accepted. They all told Sasuke how glad they were to see him again, and how lame the lunch periods had been without him. He had told himself that he didn’t care about any of these people, perhaps other than Juugo. Still, he couldn’t deny that it felt a little nice to be missed so much.

It wasn’t that the other three had played a big part in that night. Juugo really had been too intoxicated to drive, and Karin and Suigetsu weren’t even conscious. Though a little frustrated that they had such little sense as to stay at a party after being drugged, Sasuke wasn’t exactly angry with them either. All the same, they weren’t the best company.

If Naruto knew what he was doing right now... God, he didn’t even want to think about that. He had told Naruto that he would never associate himself with these people again, but that was before he knew about Itachi’s situation. Extenuating circumstances, right? Still, it made him a little sick.

Throughout his lunch period, Sasuke responded to conversation with both distance and disinterest, but his typically acerbic wit was lacking. He was preyed upon by guilt, nervousness, and maybe even a tinge of excitement. Kabuto would occasionally smile or wink at Sasuke reassuringly when no one was looking. Despite the fact that he considered Kabuto a duplicitous snake, it did help him relax.

He didn’t know why he even bothered trying to concentrate through his classes before school got out. He’d write down maybe a page of notes before his mind would determine to wander. If only there were some other way to earn this money. He would try, of course. Even if he had to mow lawns, every dollar earned meant less time doing what he was doing now. Even if he sold every piece of jewelry or expensive clothing he owned, he couldn’t imagine the total breaching a couple hundred.

The school bell sounded more like a judge’s gavel than a declaration of freedom. He met up with Kabuto, who drove down a nearby side street with his Camry. They both sat in the back seat. Kabuto laid out two baggies of weed and two pill bottles, one filled with Xanax and another filled with Percocet.

Kabuto explained what each drug did, how to most reliably judge weed quality without smoking it (apparently an imperfect art), how to zero and balance a scale, how to price and negotiate, who to target, dealer etiquette, and how to set up transactions.

Sasuke was silent, attempting to commit all of these prices and techniques to memory. He learned quickly, though these were things he could’ve lived without knowing. The numbers and procedures jumbled in his brain, and coupled with his uneasiness, it was quite a task to retain the information. However, Sasuke was a quick learner, and Kabuto was a patient teacher. It made Sasuke wonder how Kabuto could possibly know so much.

“Kabuto, how long have you been doing this for?”

Kabuto smirked, taking the question as a compliment.

“Five years now. I was just past your age when I started.”

Kabuto took a drag off of his cigarette. Sasuke gestured a request to have one for himself, and Kabuto held the carton towards him. Sasuke slid out his cigarette and lit it with Kabuto’s lighter. God, he felt so tense. He needed this, inhaling deeply and holding the nicotine in his lungs.

“It makes good money. After shit hit the fan, I wanted to live on my own. I was able to live comfortably enough.”

Sasuke believed he knew what Kabuto was referring to. It had been one of their better moments. The first time Sasuke came to school after his parents’ death, people stared, chattering and quickly averting their eyes when they noticed that the sullen Uchiha was in earshot. It was juicy gossip, after all. Some freshman’s parents were just burned alive last week.

His friends tried to comfort him, though he didn’t need it. He refused to show vulnerability in front of all of these people. Given that Juugo had been with Sasuke just hours before the tragedy occurred, they only needed eye contact and Juugo’s gentle smiles to communicate. Karin hugged him tearfully and Suigetsu just kept shaking his head and saying “That’s so fucked up, I’m sorry.”  Kabuto was silent. The situation was awkward, and at Sasuke’s request, the subject was quickly changed.

After all the fuss had died down, Kabuto walked behind Sasuke and placed his hand on his shoulder. Puzzled, Sasuke turned around and glanced up at Kabuto’s face. Kabuto wore an expression which Sasuke found difficult to describe. For once, he didn’t appear flippant, snide, or scheming. He looked unusually serious, but more than that, he seemed...sad. This was something people never saw from Kabuto. It was the damnedest thing.

“I’ve been there. Keep your head up, Uchiha.”

And with that, he was gone. Despite all of Kabuto’s schemes, mysteries, and tricks of the tongue, in some regards, he was a very simple man. He was in life for his own gain and amusement. He would labor, manipulate, and withhold truth as suited him best. However, this single incident was an exception that Sasuke always remembered. Maybe no one was as simple as they appeared.

From that, he had pieced together that something must have happened to either one or both of Kabuto’s guardians. Considering what he had just said now, that must have been why he started selling drugs. He thought it would be an easy way to support himself, and from what he knew of Kabuto, he had never been as well-behaved of a kid as Sasuke. Though Kabuto likely had many options at his disposal, Sasuke doubted that there had been much of a debate in his mind. As Kabuto put together a dime bag for himself, he broke the silence.

“It was sudden. You judge me like the rest, but unlike you, I wasn’t so fortunate as to have an older sibling to wipe my ass for me.”

“Tch.”

As much as Sasuke resented that remark, he decided it wasn’t worth the fight. Though it did feel strange for Kabuto to admit to such a thing, in front of Sasuke no less. He still couldn’t forget the uncharacteristic look on Kabuto’s face when he told him to keep his head up.

“Whatever you or anyone else thinks about me, I was able to stand on my two feet. Alone. And now, after all of your stubbornness, now you give in and come to me for help. You must really need the money,” Kabuto mused flippantly.

Sasuke thought to argue, but there was no hiding the fact. Why else would he be doing something like this?

“Itachi is in trouble, isn’t he?” Kabuto asked.

Sasuke hid his surprise well. He couldn’t quite decipher Kabuto’s tone. He sounded concerned, but Sasuke could never trust these things with Kabuto. What was his motive?

“That’s none of your business,” Sasuke answered.

Kabuto snickered, continuing his work.

“It’s the least you can do after all he sacrificed for you.”

“Shut up. This has nothing to do with you.”

But Sasuke couldn’t avoid the guilt he felt.

“You’re not a kid anymore, Uchiha. In the real world, people have to do whatever’s necessary to get by and, in your case, protect what matters.”

Sasuke was silent.

“So what I’m trying to say, you ungrateful little shit… Don’t back down. You still have him, and that’s everything.”

Sasuke wouldn’t look at Kabuto. Sasuke was a little grateful when Kabuto broke the silence.

“Want another cigarette?”

Sasuke nodded, placing it between his lips, lighting it, and taking a deep drag. Kabuto smirked. Sasuke had no idea what Kabuto’s motives were, but after this conversation, in at least the smallest way, he felt like he could relate to Kabuto. Of course, this didn’t mean that Sasuke liked him any better.

Kabuto and Sasuke finished promptly. Though Sasuke felt that he now had a much better grip on the specifics of his new “hobby,” he still felt like he was in over his head. He’d never bought any substances for himself; it had always been provided for him. He’d never even used the pills, and he’d smoked weed only a handful of times. There were so many different words to describe the qualities and strains of marijuana that it made his head spin. Could he really pull this off?

As he reunited with his classmates, several close friends of Deidara’s, he knew he could only do his best. It wasn’t difficult to find interested participants. He knew these kids personally. They frequently bought from Kabuto and had never snitched on him, so he hoped that they were trustworthy enough. And as Kabuto said, the kids here were willing to pay about any price. Deidara and his friends were loaded. They’d lay down fifty dollars for a week’s worth of drugs. It made Sasuke resentful.

Sasuke left the streets around his school about an hour later with almost four hundred bucks in his pockets. He had sold everything Kabuto had given him, and he’d also sold off a handful of possessions. Sasuke had fared far better than he had expected, so why wasn’t he happy? He was in business. He could raise Itachi’s money even more quickly than he had thought.

Regardless, he couldn’t shake the pungent, greasy feeling of guilt sludging around in his gut. The simple truth of the matter was that he was dealing drugs, and he was only fifteen. This was something he would’ve never expected or wanted for himself. When he had begun to shoplift, there had been an excitement to it that pulled him in. He wasn’t excited now. He just wanted to get this over with as quickly as he could and put it behind him.

He bussed by the mall on the way home. It had been a long time since he had been there. Ever since he decided to quit shoplifting, Sasuke had avoided temptation by staying away from stores. He disciplined himself today, heading directly towards the cashier station of every store in the mall and inquiring for work. The only store that would “consider” hiring anyone under sixteen was already overstaffed. He supposed that the recession was no small part of this.

It was getting dark as Sasuke rode the bus home. This would be enough for today. Tomorrow, he would sell more, and he’d see if there were any odd jobs he could take. The sooner he could wash his hands of the situation, the better.

He was entirely split on how he felt about coming home to Naruto. On one hand, he didn’t know if he could look his exuberant lover in the eyes. On the other hand, Naruto knew nothing of what he had done today. Naruto seemed so innocent, so untainted to Sasuke... It was contagious. Sometimes just being around Naruto, being held by him and loved by him, made him feel purer. Naruto would wash all of the dirt and grit off of him, and he’d feel clean.

When he entered his home, Itachi was lying on the couch. He rested on a pillow as he highlighted his textbook on negligence torts. It was definitely strange to see Itachi home at such an hour. Itachi smiled at Sasuke as he entered the door.

“You’re back awfully late. How was school?”

Sasuke forced a smile.

“Not too bad. I found a job for myself.”

Itachi paused.

“Seriously?”

“Mhm. I stopped by St. Magdalene’s on the way home, and they said they needed some help cleaning the grounds. Most the people there already know me, so it was easy.”

Yes, he was indeed telling his brother that he was working for a church of all places. He almost wondered if he should run out of the house should any lightning bolts crash down to smite him. Two house fires in one year was just getting ridiculous.

Itachi smiled brightly.

“That’s wonderful! Sasuke, I’m so proud of you!”

Proud... Yeah. Sasuke did his best to look pleased by the comment as guilt gnawed at his innards.

“It’s not like you to be so modest.”

Sasuke snickered, attempting to act as he normally did.

“Well, I’m already bringing home some cash. Here.”

He handed sixty dollars over to Itachi. There was no way Itachi would believe that he earned four hundred bucks by cleaning church grounds one night. He would keep the money separate, giving it to Itachi as quickly as he could without raising suspicion.

Itachi was glowing.

“I know it’s not much, but they only gave me a few hours today. I’m going to see if I can get any jobs mowing lawns, or doing newspaper routes or whatever. And... Stop staring at me like that.”

Itachi snapped out of his daze, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry, it’s just... I haven’t seen you like this in such a long time, this…responsible. You’re really into this, aren’t you?”

Responsible. How could that describe his current actions? His bones felt hollow.

“Yes, I’m pretty much amazing.”

Itachi laughed.

With a more serious tone, Sasuke added, “When I said I was going to take care of you, I meant it.”

Itachi smiled at Sasuke, at a loss for words.

“Thank you...so much. But don’t think that you have to raise all this money yourself. I’m sure I could find some people to tutor again at my school. I got paid pretty decently last time.”

Sasuke nodded, very relieved to hear this. He’d have to stop at some point, but of course, the sooner the better. Itachi had no idea how much money Sasuke was making. Itachi already looked so happy... Sasuke wished he could just throw all four hundred bucks into Itachi’s hand, just to see the smile on his face.

“So together, it won’t be so bad.”

Itachi shook his head.

“We can get through it together. I’m lucky to have a brother like you, Sasuke."

Sasuke paused, a smile soon after ghosting his lips. Was that a fact? The compliment seemed tainted. Everything Sasuke did, he did for Itachi. Still, the brother Itachi was supposedly so lucky to have around was selling drugs.

“No. It’s about time I pitched in.”

Itachi seemed to light up at the comment. Sasuke appreciated Itachi’s efforts more than Itachi could possibly know.

Despite the guilt, the nervousness, and the feeling of just being tainted, this exchange had lifted his mood. After seeing Itachi so depressed the night he was fired, seeing him this ecstatic was medicine to his wounds. Maybe Sasuke had made the right decision after all.


	22. Chapter 22

Sasuke was somewhat reluctant as he made his way to the bedroom. Would he feel awkward around Naruto, after what he’d done? When he was hiding such secrets? He sighed and gently opened the door.

"Where the hell were you?" Naruto hissed under his breath. "It's like...nine o'clock! Your brother's been home since four.”

Just like that, the instant he saw Naruto, it seemed as though nothing had changed.

“I've had to piss for like two hours! I don't even..."

Sasuke quickly closed in on Naruto, cupping his cheek in his hand and kissing him softly. Their tongues entwined momentarily before Sasuke withdrew. Naruto blinked up at Sasuke, a blush misting his cheeks.

"I've been waiting to do that all day."

Naruto tilted his head towards the side.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay, Sasuke? Like...any hallucinations today? Uncontrollable laughter?"

If Naruto had known what he'd been up to, would he have even wanted to kiss him? Sasuke turned on his radio, using the comfortable volume of the rock music to conceal their whispered voices and avoid being overheard.

"Long day."

Naruto gestured at the clock by Sasuke's bed.

"It sure has. What were you even doing?"

Sasuke inhaled, casting his eyes out the window as he slowly let the air out. He needed to explain to Naruto why Itachi would be "calling off of work" again tomorrow. He glanced back at Naruto, his face expectant and blissfully unaware.

He didn’t want Naruto knowing the truth. Especially after what had happened at Kabuto’s party, he would never understand. Sasuke had told Naruto that wouldn’t have anything to do with these people anymore. But he was willing to do whatever it took to keep his brother safe. What Naruto didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

"I have some shitty news for you."

Naruto frowned.

"I knew something had to be up. I just thought you were starting to lose it."

Sasuke snickered.

"You're saying that I need to be insane to miss you?"

"No. Just insane to admit it in your case."

Sasuke huffed, rolling his eyes in benevolent exasperation.

"Don't leave me in suspense, dude. What's going on?"

Sasuke sighed.

"Last night, I found out that Itachi got fired."

He could only get away with hiding so much. Naruto was bound to ask questions when he noticed that Itachi wasn’t at school as often. He didn’t really mind giving this one away. Naruto nodded slowly, appearing somewhat morose. Sasuke wondered how Naruto would have reacted had he known the truth.

“I was out trying to find a job today.”

Not a lie, technically. Sasuke’s face didn’t betray him.

"So... What does this mean for you guys?"

Naruto was sitting on the edge of the bed, holding one knee into his chest. Sasuke eased himself down next to Naruto, placing his head on the pillow and lying on his back. He was very glad to be home, and he certainly was not looking forward to school tomorrow. Naruto joined him, facing Sasuke as he lay on his side.

"It looks like we're going to live off of instant ramen for a while."

Despite the situation, Naruto gave a wide grin.

"Don't tell me you actually like that crap."

Oh what little Sasuke knew. Naruto responded in a dry tone.

"Sasuke, I want nothing more out of life than to swim in a pool of creamy chicken ramen."

Sasuke huffed, "Disgusting."

Naruto only chuckled in response. The words of a White Stripes song filled the room as conversation ebbed temporarily.

"Itachi's going to be home more. We need to be more careful."

How long could they keep going like this? It was shocking that Itachi hadn't already caught them, even with his hectic work and school hours. Sasuke was absolutely painstaking in covering their tracks, but now that Itachi would only be gone school hours... It was only a matter of time, now more than ever. Now that he Naruto's brows were knit in thought, troubled sapphire eyes staring down at the pillow.

"What's wrong?"

"Look," Naruto's breath stuttered as he spoke, "I don't want to put the two of you out, given that you're already having money troubles. I understand if you want me to leave."

Sasuke shook his head, almost as if by reflex.

"No. If you really like that instant ramen shit as much as you say you do, it wouldn't make much difference"

He didn't want to admit that he liked Naruto around, that he wouldn't know what to do with himself now without him. With everything that was going on, he felt that Naruto was one of the few things that kept him grounded. Naruto made him stronger, and he needed all the strength he could get.

Naruto's relief was obvious when he nodded.

"Alright then."

"Though...with Itachi being around so often, we need to figure out what we're going to do once you're caught."

"I know where you're going with this, and I'm not..."

Sasuke glanced back at Naruto.

“I’m not going back to foster care. It’s not an option.”

Sasuke wondered if he should be convincing Naruto otherwise. Whatever Naruto had done in the past certainly hadn’t been working for him. Sasuke frankly had too much on his mind to press this topic. It wasn’t technically his business, though he’d certainly make his opinion known at the appropriate time.

“We’ll figure it out,” Sasuke answered definitively.

Naruto was silent, but then he smiled, his eyes closed. Sasuke had learned how to distinguish Naruto’s fake smiles from his real ones, so despite Naurto’s show of optimism, Sasuke still felt a little sick.

“Of course we will! Uzumaki Naruto’s on the job. And I guess you can help too,” Naruto teased.

Sasuke knew, deep down, that he was at risk of losing both Itachi and Naruto at once. But he’d repress those fears as much as he could. Later, he could decompress and unwind. But now, he had to be strong, which left no room for these types of quandaries.

But more than that, he wanted to make sure that Naruto could find his way once he left, as he knew was bound to happen. Yet just as he was powerless to help his brother, he was equally powerless to help Naruto.

Sasuke’s eyes caught Naruto’s, so earnest and innocent. God, he had no idea what was happening. He had no idea that Sasuke had spent the afternoon selling drugs. Sasuke supposed he’d find somewhere to hide the money. Naruto had no idea Itachi had cancer, or that everything seemed to be crashing and burning at Sasuke’s feet.

Just as it was at the beginning, when he was with Naruto, Sasuke could ignore reality and pretend to be someone without these problems. He could take the load off his shoulders. He wasn’t sure how long he could keep this secret for, but then again, it was likely that Naruto would be discovered soon now that Itachi would be home so frequently. Maybe he’d never have to tell Naruto.

“Um…” Naruto said, his face blushing as he waved his hand in front of Sasuke’s face. “Hi?”

Realizing he’d been staring, Sasuke snapped back into reality. Naruto’s face occupied nearly his entire field of vision. He looked so pure. It made him feel guilty and cleansed, all at once. Sasuke hesitated for a moment, his lips slightly apart. He cupped the side of Naruto’s face, looking directly into his eyes as Naruto averted his own.

Sasuke closed his eyes, willing himself to forget this mess, even just for a moment. He leaned forward and kissed Naruto.

As their lips touched, Sasuke felt as if he’d escaped what he’d just done. To Naruto, nothing had changed. He locked fingers with Naruto’s hand, his tongue requesting entrance. Their tongues now slid together at a loving and almost painfully slow pace. Sasuke shut his eyes tight, willing himself to just be in the moment.

Naruto pulled Sasuke in tighter, cupping the side of Sasuke’s face. Sasuke ran his hand underneath Naruto’s shirt, caressing Naruto’s side and abs. They kept at that same slow pace. Sasuke could feel and process every minute movement of the other’s mouth, and he was sure that Naruto could say the same.

Sasuke blocked out the thoughts threatening to barrage him. He slid Naruto’s T-shirt over his head and quickly followed suit with his own. They pressed up against each other, and now Sasuke could feel Naruto’s bare top half against him. The skin on skin contact pulled Sasuke into the moment, his thoughts taking the backburner.

Sasuke straddled Naruto, who bolstered his top half up by resting his upper back on the wall.

“I don’t know what got into you, bastard,” Naruto breathed as their lips parted. “But I like it.”

Sasuke simply kissed him again, and Naruto’s hands now took free reign over Sasuke’s body, locking his fingers into the tufts on the back of Sasuke’s head. Their kisses grew frenzied, and now Sasuke moved down Naruto’s neck, nipping his collarbone as Naruto began to moan.

“Shh,” Sasuke silenced. “We’ll get caught.”

As much as Sasuke loved hearing the sound of Naruto’s pleasure, he couldn’t have Itachi figuring them out.

“Dammit,” Naruto answered with a chuckle in his voice.

“Hold your hand over your mouth if you need to.”

Naruto nodded quickly. Sasuke sucked at the flesh just under Naruto’s clavicle, knowing that the mark he’d leave behind would be dark. Naruto clapped his hand over his mouth, causing Sasuke to smirk under his breath.

Naruto’s hand fiddled with Sasuke’s pants now, and Sasuke kissed Naruto deeply while returning the favor. Naruto emitted a faint and frustrated grunt as Sasuke beat Naruto to the challenge, unbuttoning his pants and sliding down the zipper. Sasuke’s lips parted with Naruto’s as Sasuke cupped the bulge, the tips of their noses barely touching.

Naruto followed closely after, sliding Sasuke’s pants and boxers down as his cock bounded free, already hard. Looking at Sasuke’s length longingly, Naruto slid the back of his pointer finger from base to tip, giving Sasuke’s slit a gentle tap. Sasuke clenched his free hand into his bedding.

“Fuck…” Naruto said as quietly as he could muster. “You’re gorgeous.”

Sasuke lowered his head, not bothering to contradict. Naruto’s cock now free, Sasuke spat on his hand and wrapped it around Naruto’s erection, giving it a slow pump. Naruto’s palm clapped over his mouth yet again, causing Sasuke to issue victorious smirk.

“You just took me by surprise,” Naruto hissed.

Sasuke’s response was merely to tug Naruto’s earlobe with his teeth, the misting of Sasuke’s breath against the sensitive flesh of Naruto’s ear and neck causing Naruto to melt.

Naruto took Sasuke’s cock into his hand, pumping leisurely. Sasuke began to pant, his pectorals tense as he supported himself over Naruto with one hand. Both of them were hard and swollen, and it seemed equally impatient as well. Sasuke picked up his pace, which only fed into Naruto’s pace. Naruto begam to leak. They kissed each other roughly, Naruto biting Sasuke’s lip and tugging it.

Naruto flinched underneath him, biting down on his lip hard.

“Sasuke…” he panted. “I’m almost there.”

Sasuke didn’t respond, concentrating on his movements and his own pleasure, feeling Naruto’s body on his own and cherishing their proximity. He twisted his wrist as he moved up Naruto’s length, his hand slicked with Naruto’s precum. He tapped on the tip with his thumb, and Naruto’s legs stretched out as his toes curled. For the first time since they’d begun, Naruto lost his rhythm. He stopped his moan barely in time, his seed coating Sasuke’s waist and chest.

“Shit…” Naruto breathed, quickly resuming his movements.

Sending himself upward, he gently pushed Sasuke back to form a pathway between Naruto’s mouth and Sasuke’s fully erect cock. Sasuke caught himself as he leaned backward, supporting himself on the bed with his palms. Naruto leaned over, taking Sasuke’s cock deep into his mouth and pumping.

The sight of Naruto so willingly taking him in caused the sweat to build. He felt it most on his forehead, the backs of his knees, and his chest. Sasuke barely stopped himself from moaning. He’d been too confident, under the perception that silence would come easily to him.

Sasuke couldn’t last much longer, nor did he want to at this point. He wanted to make Naruto swallow him, wanted to finally feel that release. He grit his teeth, willing himself to be quiet as the pressure quickly built. And finally, he let go.

In that moment, it was only him and his lover. Nothing else. Just Naruto and the chemicals racing through Sasuke’s bloodstream. His body slumped, his spunk on Naruto’s cheek. Sasuke tried to commit that image to memory, Naruto giving a tired smile with lidded eyes. They collapsed next to each other, each on their back and staring at the ceiling fan as they caught their breath.

They lay there for several seconds until Naruto spoke.

“Sasuke…” he hesitated. “Are you okay?”

Sasuke’s eyes widened, fortunately out of Naruto’s view. Had he been so obvious?

“Where did that come from?”

It seemed like one of Naruto’s intermittent periods of perceptiveness was biting him in the ass again. Naruto _knew_ something was off.

“Are you…worried about Itachi losing his job?”

Of course. He’d just told Naruto that Itachi had been fired. He didn’t know if he could completely fool Naruto, but at least he had an alibi.

“We’re already in debt,” Sasuke admitted, as if this were truly the crux of the issue.

Naruto frowned, turning over to Sasuke.

“That’s really shitty.”

“It’s temporary.”

God, how he hoped it would only be temporary, how he wished that money was the real issue. But Naruto couldn’t know, not yet. He didn’t want him to. Besides, what would Naruto think of him when he figured out that he was essentially dealing drugs?

“I know this is a bad situation, but Sasuke… You and your brother are strong. You’ll get through it.”

Sasuke continued to stare at the ceiling, digesting Naruto’s words silently.

“You’ve already changed so much in the time I’ve known you. I know you can do this.”

He felt a weight on his chest at this allusion. Even if Naruto didn’t say so, Sasuke could tell that he was proud of him for cleaning up. And now what? What could he say to Naruto now?

“I didn’t doubt that, but thanks anyhow.”

He tried not to let his guilt take its toll on his tone and expression. Naruto looked at him, and Sasuke forced himself to look back, Naruto’s earnest blue eyes making him feel even worse. If Naruto knew the truth, would he still feel the same way about him?

“Asshole,” Naruto said with a chuckle, flicking Sasuke’s temple.

“Even if you’re not alright, I’ll make sure you are,” Naruto told him quietly. “Don’t be afraid to ask for my help. Because I really, really want to help.”

Sasuke found himself smiling at Naruto’s awkward honesty, despite everything.

“Well, that blow job was a damned good start.” 


	23. Chapter 23

 

_"Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed."_

Sasuke did his best to tune Naruto out as he ventured through his anatomy homework. Despite all of his protests, he had become accustomed to the sound of Naruto's slightly off-pitch singing filling his room. Generally, it annoyed him. Yet his home was no longer empty, and the sometimes cacophonous singing reminded him that Naruto was never far. At times, that comfort was worth the assault to his eardrums.

_"She was lookin' kinda dumb..."_

Sasuke sighed.

"Would you stop singing like that?"

Itachi was at school for the next several hours. Naruto threw his hands up dramatically in response.

"Hey! I'll have you know that I relate to this song on a very personal level!"

"Oh really?" Sasuke inquired.

Yet it was more than obvious that he didn't care to know.

"You know that line... 'My world's on fire, how 'bout yours? That's the way I like it, and I'll never get bored.'?"

The Uchiha grunted, "Yes. I've been forced to listen to that song a few times more than I'd like."

Ah yes, his grade school days. Though the song was already rather outdated at the time, a few insistent friends found it their mission to educate Sasuke.

Naruto grinned, pointing his thumb to his chest, "Well that's just me, baby. It's how I roll. Take life by the balls!"

Sasuke arched a brow before responding.

"I think that lyric relates to me more than it relates to you."

Naruto crinkled his nose and squinted.

"Eh?"

Sasuke snickered.

"Most of my family and my old house are now made of carbon."

Naruto would have thought that Sasuke might have sounded bitter while making that statement, but there was no trace of such. Naruto pointed frantically, whooping in amusement.

"You did not just make that joke!"

He'd never heard Sasuke joke about his past. Whenever the subject was approached, the teen always appeared sullen and morose.

"Shit..." Sasuke grumbled. "Your horrible sense of humor is finally wearing off on me."

"I knew I'd win you over eventually,” Naruto cackled. “Bring on the hobo and dead parents jokes!"

Sasuke emitted a defeated groan.

"Yeah, you finally recruited me. So what?"

Naruto leaned back to gloat. Sasuke had been a stubborn one.

"Heh. It took you long enough, orphan boy. But then again, you always  _were_  very slow to keep up with my greatness," Naruto responded with an arrogant bob of the head.

Sasuke raised his brows while playfully shoving Naruto back.

"I am going to form an orphan club, and you're not invited," Sasuke scoffed as he leaned back and gave Naruto a rather snobbish one over.

Naruto placed his hands on his waist and pouted.

"Hey! That's not a definite. I could qualify!"

"Yeah, what happened to your parents, anyway?"

Naruto shrugged.

"Beats me."

The song was still playing in the background. Sasuke took a seat next to Naruto before continuing.

"Does that upset you?"

Naruto paused to consider his answer.

"Not really, except that it would be nice to meet them some day. I think I might look for them once I'm in a better place."

The conversation was taking a step towards the serious, although Sasuke and Naruto were comfortable enough around each other now to have conversations that tread middle ground. The air wasn’t heavy.

"Well..." Sasuke sighed. "Then I suppose you can be an honorary member of my orphan club, but you get the crappy nametag."

The former vagrant crossed his arms and huffed.

"Like I care about your stupid orphan club, Oliver."

"You're not getting the complimentary lemonade and cookies either."

Naruto's eyes widened as he gestured wildly.

"Woah, man. Just woah. You have crossed the line."

The Uchiha smirked.

"Looks like bums get passionate about their food."

The tanner male ignored Sasuke's statement, apparently on his own tangent.

"I mean if that line were a criminal in the business with his so-called best friend, he'd be in prison for life. That line would be so crossed it wouldn't even know what to do with itself, just sitting there all existential like, 'What's the point of being a line if people are always crossing me? Why do I even exist?'"

"Existential? I didn't know you had that broad of a vocabulary."

Naruto huffed, "Contrary to your belief, I'm not a  _total_  dunce. Your elitist, bourgeoisie vocabulary is the antithesis of...uh...good."

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Now you're just trying too hard."

"So what are you saying?" Naruto asked with a frown. "I'm a second class member of your super secret orphan club? Damn, and I was looking forward to the upcoming 'bring your parents' support night. Oh  _wait_..."

Sasuke gave Naruto a lopsided smile.

"Don't you have a park bench you should be sleeping on right now?"

"Oh, clever clever. But have you ever even  _seen_  an orphanage? If anything, I should be the damned president."

"You're saying you lived in one? In California?"

"Sure did. Until I was about four anyway."

Sasuke regarded the other cynically.

"Tch. That's impossible. There are no orphanages in the U.S."

"Bullshit!"

Sasuke didn't know what he was talking about. He'd never even been near this sort of thing. Such a know-it-all…

"There aren't," Sasuke insisted. "You might be remembering a group home or something."

Naruto crossed his arms and shook his head stubbornly.

"Nuh uh. I'm sure I was in an orphanage. They told me!"

Sasuke found himself wondering who "they" was referring to but decided not to press it.

"No, you weren't. I was researching it for a school project yesterday."

The blond perched his chin on his hand, narrowing his eyes at his new opponent.

"Fine. Let's see here."

Naruto purposefully whisked himself behind Sasuke's computer, pulling up a tab containing Sasuke's search history. Sasuke’s heart struck cold for a moment. He’d been researching stomach cancer and its treatments just last night. It frustrated him that all the survival statistics varied so widely from case to case. No matter how much research he did, he still felt left in the dark. He was tempted to ask Itachi, but he didn’t know if his brother was ready to discuss it yet.

Fortunately, Sasuke’s body quickly calmed as he remembered that he’d done his search on incognito mode, leaving not a trace.

"What are you doing?"

Honestly, Sasuke was surprised that Naruto even knew how to find search history. Then again, he'd been using Sasuke's computer frequently in the past weeks. Sasuke was shocked when Naruto asked him the other day when he'd last defragged his harddrive.

"Well, you said you were just researching it, right? The link should be somewhere in here..."

Sasuke shook his head, walking up behind Naruto's shoulder. Still, he didn't like Naruto messing around there...

"This is completely unnecessary."

Naruto ignored Sasuke, perusing the list in detail.

"Just let me do it. I know what page it was on," Sasuke added, his face closer to the screen now.

"Calm your tits, Sasuke. I'll find it soon enough."

He kept scrolling... And scrolling... And  _scrolling_...

"Hey! Why are you going so far back? I said it was yesterday, you moron."

Sasuke was beginning to sound awfully defensive. Why the urgency? A fox-like grin ate up Naruto's lower face. Sasuke glared back at the other, and there was a moment of shared understanding.

Wasting no time, Sasuke shoved the swivelling chair out from his desk, hurriedly forcing himself in to click the "delete search history" button. He was tragically intercepted by his adversary, who frantically shoved Sasuke aside to get a glimpse of whatever juicy material he could find. The Uchiha shoved Naruto out of the way, the Naruto stumbling before he darted back to elbow Sasuke in the gut. In the instant it took Sasuke to cough and correct himself, Naruto's telltale cackle informed him that he was too late.

"'How to have anal sex'? Hah! I thought it was a little early for this, but hey, if you're so gung ho on it..."

Dammit, why hadn’t he remembered to use incognito mode!

"Don't get full of yourself,” Sasuke shot back. “I was just curious."

Naruto could hardly hear Sasuke over his own laughter.

Sasuke grumbled, "Happy now? Alright, you've had your fun..."

Naruto held his palm out to silence Sasuke.

"Wait, wait! There's more!"

"No." Sasuke snapped, roughly jerking Naruto out of the way. "As dumb as you are with technology, I wouldn't expect you to grasp this, but it's an unspoken rule that one man is never to look at another man's browser history."

"Are you..."

Naruto pointed at Sasuke repetitively and frantically.

"Are you blushing?!"

Shit, his cheeks  _did_  feel a little warm. Was he really blushing over something so stupid? He had his pale skin to thank for making it so apparent. He punitively whacked Naruto upside the head, finding that this communicated his true sentiments more efficiently than any words could.

"Ow! That actually hurt!"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head, hoping to distract himself from the sting.

"That was the idea, jackass."

Naruto pursed his lips, leaning into Sasuke. He tried not to find this situation as endearing as he was tempted to.

"C'mon, Sasuke. There's no reason to be so defensive."

The paler male frowned, fidgeting with his thumbs and taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

The younger mumbled, "I'm not. How else am I supposed to find out these things?"

Naruto smirked at Sasuke, blatantly looking him up and down as he bit his lip. He plunked himself down next to Sasuke, wrapping his arm around his shoulders.

"Given I'm your first lover of the  _male_  persuasion, I couldn't expect you to be too experienced. But I could always give you a lesson."

Sasuke didn't like being the inexperienced one in this relationship. The position didn't suit him. Of course Naruto had to act like he had everything figured out, like he knew so much more than Sasuke did. And who knows, maybe he did? They really hadn't discussed their past sex lives in any detail.

"Does this mean you've actually had sex with a guy?"

When Sasuke glanced at Naruto, their noses nearly touched. Naruto's suave demeanor wavered as he answered hesitantly, "I guess a little..."

The Uchiha smirked, relieved to be taking the offensive now.

"A little? What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean...not  _exactly_..."

Sasuke crossed his arms, a snarky expression on his face.

"Not exactly? Was this a fifty-fifty fuck or something?"

Sasuke leaned forward, and Naruto backed off as his insecurities manifested themselves. Somehow Sasuke seemed so intimidating now, but Naruto kept his arm wrapped around Sasuke.

"Did you or didn't you?" Sasuke asked deliberately.

Darting blue irises fell towards the floor. Was that asshole really gonna make him say it?

"I guess not."

Sasuke cocked his head.

"Hn. Guess you're not as experienced as you'd like me to believe."

The other pouted back.

"I'm more experienced than  _you_."

The Uchiha smirked, not unsettled by the fact that their lips nearly brushed as they faced each other. Despite his patronizing response, Sasuke was genuinely glad that Naruto was still a virgin. He didn't like the idea of Naruto being more experienced than him. In some odd way, it slighted his pride. But more than that, the idea of someone else doing this with Naruto made him jealous. He hated the idea of someone else getting so close to him. And he was glad that if things were to progress to that point, he would be Naruto's first.

"What did you do? Suck his dick?"

Naruto's brows crinkled. How could Sasuke be so blunt when he talked about this sort of thing? Was Naruto the one blushing now?

"Yeah."

"You could've just said that," Sasuke sighed.

Naruto's eyes challenged Sasuke.

"So then, what have you done?"

The left corners of Sasuke's lip rose.

"You sure you want to hear this? Hetero-love doesn't make you squeamish, does it?"

Naruto puffed out his chest, like a child facing the dark.

"Feh. Don't be ridiculous, bastard."

"I've gone down on a girl a few times, and I've had a few go down on me. Fingering too and all that, obviously."

Naruto grunted. Oh,  _obviously_ , he says. How could he be so candid about such a thing? Suddenly, he felt as though their situations had been reversed. He'd only ever fooled around with one person, but Sasuke...

Still, Naruto  _did_  have more experience with the male gender. At least he came out ahead in those regards. And Sasuke was still a virgin. Similarly, this came as a relief.

"So, what about this 'lesson' you wanted to teach me?"

Sasuke's onyx eyes were just inches from Naruto's flushed forehead, the sophomore's height barely surpassing his own. He smirked at Naruto, provoking him. Flustered, Naruto averted his eyes to escape Sasuke's steady stare.

Sasuke sighed, a mixture of impatience and benevolent teasing.

"Luckily for you, I learn best by doing."

He peppered a few kisses down Naruto's jawline as the blond tilted his head to allow him access.

"I don't mind that, babe," Naruto purred.

Sasuke's ministrations did not disrupt, but he privately took note of the new nickname. It was an unfamiliar departure from the typical "smartass" or "bastard." It almost felt strange to be called that by another male. All the same, he didn't mind it. After all, they  _were_  boyfriends. …Weren't they? Sasuke supposed this came with the territory.

Sasuke jerked Naruto in closer by his shirt collar, fastening their mouths together as their tongues leisurely swirled around each other. One pale hand rested a hand's length above Naruto's knee, massaging the meat towards Naruto's inner thigh. Itachi had a late class today, so they at least had a couple more hours to themselves. Sasuke decided that they might as well take advantage of it. He'd noticed himself checking Naruto out at least several times today.

Naruto moaned softly, gently grasping at the tensed muscles of Sasuke's forearm. He was already feeling a warm flush migrate to his crotch, Sasuke's aggression taking him by surprise. It had been days since Sasuke and he had done anything other than a quick kiss. Now that he had gotten a taste of sex with Sasuke, his body seemed to demand it. Needy, Naruto got up on his knees and led Sasuke's hand under his shirt, the smooth palm resting on Naruto's bare abdomen. Sasuke smirked. Someone was needy.

Sasuke's mind raced ahead of him, forcing him to visualize himself stripping off Naruto's pants, going even farther... He'd read that often, guys stuck to their same roles during sex, but there was also something known as a "switch." He knew that he wanted to be inside Naruto. He wanted to own his lover in the most intimate way, to fill him until he leaked. But would he allow himself to be filled?

Perhaps it was too early to be thinking about this. He supposed that this would be the sort of thing he'd figure out as their relationship advanced. Sasuke dipped his pointer finger underneath Naruto's waistband, pulling Naruto closer to him as he quickly peaked down the opening between Naruto's stomach and the clothing. Thick, tan fingers raked through Sasuke's feathery locks, latching onto the hair below his ears and at the nape of his neck.

Sasuke smirked as he kissed over dark hickeys he'd placed just several days ago. One of the last times they had done anything significant, Naruto had given Sasuke one of the best blow jobs of his life. The closest Sasuke could get to Naruto was giving him a hand job. He hoped that whatever reservations Naruto had were placated. Black irises reassured Naruto as he quickly undid Naruto's jean button.

Naruto's breath hitched, and he quickly remembered every reservation he'd had the only other time Sasuke had ever tried to remove his pants. He felt a little better about things, given that Sasuke had already gone so far with Naruto and still was every bit as enthusiastic after having a few days to think on it. Still, a part of him still wondered if this would be a wakeup call for Sasuke. Then he'd realize his mistake.

He wanted to grab Sasuke's hand, to ask him if he was really sure he wanted this. Yet his pride wouldn't allow it. After all, he'd basically  _asked_  for this. Given their conversation before things had taken such a turn and the competitive nature of their relationship, Naruto already felt like he needed to prove himself to be more experienced and more dominant. Showing hesitance would be a defeat.

His body had paused though, and his panting breath was held. Naruto's body went stiff. This occurred without his knowledge, and Sasuke ceased his ministrations to look up at Naruto questioningly before continuing. Sasuke didn't speak, but Naruto knew Sasuke well enough to know what he was asking. Naruto's mouth felt dry, and he bit his lip. He nodded at Sasuke, an unspoken consent.

Distracting the smaller of the two from his nervousness, Sasuke bit Naruto's earlobe and tugged at it lustfully as he unzipped Naruto's pants. He slid them down along with his boxers, the blond gasping at the sudden feel of the cool air on his heated personals. Naruto's cock bounced as it cleared its confines, ruddy and half erect.

From his first day in Sasuke's home, Naruto could change or even shower in front of Sasuke without batting an eye. Thus, it was odd that Naruto's blush was so dark when Sasuke lightly shadowed his index finger from the base of his cock to its tip. Naruto felt exposed, as if he were being examined. There was no hiding from Sasuke now.

Sasuke, however, appeared anything but dissuaded. He'd been patient, or at least he had tried to be. Naruto's cock was decidedly plumper than his own, with a slightly ruddier shade. However, it was shorter as well. Sasuke firmly grasped Naruto's dick in his hand, flattening his tongue against its tip. Naruto twitched at the first contact, the warm moisture of Sasuke's mouth drawing a shudder from him.

This was a first for Sasuke. However, he was confident that he could figure it out. He knew what he liked when he had been sucked off. Still, would it feel different for Naruto? He knew everyone had their own preferences, and his own were the only ones he had to go by.

He tried to remember what Naruto had done for him, and his memory was not hazy. If anything, this would be indicative of what Naruto liked. He had rather deliberately committed almost every movement to memory. He knew that just the images alone would be enough to masturbate to for weeks.

"So..."

Naruto was whimpering softly, perhaps unconsciously. It was obvious how greedy he was, that he wanted more. Sasuke stared back up at him aggressively.

"You said you wanted to teach me a lesson. C'mon, teach me how a gay man sucks cock."

Naruto was sweating now, quite literally. He felt the perspiration build up by his temples, chest, and forehead, his bangs beginning to stick to it uncomfortably. His breath was coming shallow and quick now, and his heart sounded like a drum.

"Ahh..."

Was he really so excited over just a grab and a lick? It was embarrassing. What was he, twelve? But he couldn't help it. Sasuke spoke so bluntly, and Naruto always was a sucker for dirty talk. The image of the stern and arrogant Sasuke, his smirking mouth inches from his manhood... He couldn't believe it was happening, and it was almost painful. Wait, Sasuke had asked him something. Well, asked him  _for_  something. What had he just said? He was so horny his brain apparently had a total shutdown. Right,  _that's_  what he wanted...

Naruto held one side of Sasuke's face in his palm, lacing his fingers into his thick hair.

"Take your tongue and move...uh..."

Sasuke arched a brow up at Naruto, who seemed to be short on words. He didn't seem to be very good with dirty talk... Well, that remained to be seen, actually. Sasuke wondered if a little provocation would loosen his tongue.

"Is that the best you can do? Are you afraid to say the word?"

Naruto blushed.

"Of course not!"

Sasuke had a lot of gall. How could he still manage to be the one coming out on top when Naruto was supposed to be the one instructing him? Of course Sasuke would find a way to make that the case. Sasuke could never stand being in a submissive position, to beg or be protected. It annoyed Naruto. No one could be like that all the time. He took a second to compose himself.

"Listen, Uchiha. I'm going to tell you what you're going to do."

Naruto's voice was low and husky when he answered, his hands roughly gripping at Sasuke's hair. Sasuke smirked, his body at attention. This was more like it.

"Lick me from base to tip, but do it slow. Flatten and relax your tongue."

Sasuke nodded, obediently sliding his tongue up Naruto's dick, feeling every indentation and slightest vein along the way. He allowed the front of his teeth to drag against the flesh. Naruto was still not fully hard, and Sasuke lightly nipped at the looser skin along Naruto's length from time to time. This was something that Sasuke had always enjoyed.

"Does this feel good?"

When Sasuke did this, Naruto moaned a little more loudly than he had intended. It caused the slightest amount of pain, but the contrast it offered was well worth it. He felt himself rise, staring down at Sasuke with eyes half-lidded with lust.

"Yes... Fuck, Sasuke..."

Sasuke took about a third of Naruto into his mouth, keeping his mouth hollow to tease the other. He let the flesh slick against his bottom lip, tracing his tongue along the ridges at the head of Naruto's cock. He took the entire head into his mouth, sucking lightly as he cupped Naruto's balls in his head.

"That's...good, Sasu. Use your tongue like a suction... Move the back of it against the roof of your mouth."

Sasuke didn't need to be told twice. Was that concept really so different from giving a hickey? He felt Naruto's erection twitch in the warmth of his mouth. Sasuke's head bobbed shallowly in rhythm with his tongue, which moved back in his mouth as his head pulled away and forward as it pulled in. He gently shifted the weight of Naruto's sack from pinky to index finger, rubbing the hardened tissue occasionally.

"Shit..." Naruto panted. "S'uke, are you sure you've never done this before?"

There was a slight chuckle at the end of Naruto's words. If his mouth weren't so busy at the moment, Sasuke would've given an appropriately pithy response. Naruto's clammy fingers were fumbling with Sasuke's tresses, and he was no longer able to resist the temptation to thrust into Sasuke's mouth. Sable brows knit as Sasuke took the intruding length farther in, pumping his head more enthusiastically now. Naruto's toes curled tightly into themselves as he shallowly fucked Sasuke's mouth.

Their movements became more frenzied as Naruto reached his peak, Sasuke's eyes clenching shut as Naruto's length pounded into his throat. He breathed through his nose, panting as he pleasured.

"S-'Suke, I'm gonna cum..."

This was Sasuke's cue. He gave Naruto's member several hard sucks, a loud moan ripping from Naruto's throat. Of course, Sasuke should have known that Naruto would be a noisy lover. Naruto shot into Sasuke's throat, and although Sasuke had known what to expect, it still took him off guard. He waited for several spurts of diminishing intensity, feeling Naruto shudder in front of him.

So, this is what it was like to be on the other end. He always suspected that this final part was the shit end of the bargain, something girls only did to please him. He found that it was not entirely unpleasant. It made him feel owned, dominated... Naruto's spunk was salty, but a little sweet as well. Must've been all that candy he liked to eat. Sasuke swallowed through his heavy breathing, finding his hardening length to be uncomfortably restricted.

Sasuke didn't realize how dazed he had become until Naruto jerked him upwards, hungrily kissing him as he palmed Sasuke's erection through his jeans.

"Not bad, Sasuke. I'm eager for your next lesson."

Satisfaction laced the other's voice as he responded, "Tch. You looked like I was doing a little better than 'not bad.'"

Cupping the side of Sasuke's face with his palm, Naruto smiled crookedly as Sasuke instinctively pressed against it. His calloused thumb stroked over Sasuke's soft temple. He had noticed long ago that Sasuke had very soft and pale skin, in certain places almost porcelain. The notable exception was his palms, which were covered in callouses. Apparently, Sasuke had no aversion to working with his hands. Naruto liked that.

Of course, Naruto had no choice but to develop tough skin over most of his body. They protected him from the elements, which, though mild in California, still could present a challenge. The two of them contrasted keenly, sunkissed honey against satin cream.

"Shut up, Sasuke."

Sasuke smirked, but his bravado soon failed him as Naruto palmed his erection through his jeans. His brows tensed, and he accidentally emitted a nearly indistinguishable "nn." Naruto calmly unbuttoned and unzipped Sasuke's jeans, his cock rising to half-mast. Naruto frowned as he looked downward.

"What?" Sasuke asked, obviously annoyed.

"It's just... I've been wondering this since the first time I saw your dick, but I didn't think it was the right time to say something."

Sasuke sighed. He didn't like where this was going.

"You say that like now is a good time. What is it now?"

"Some natural law is definitely being defied right now."

Sasuke arched a brow, his face much more composed than his husky voice, "What are you yammering on about?"

"It's just..."

Naruto gestured with his hands idly before continuing, "How do you fit that..." He pointed to Sasuke's half-erect and hefty member. "In those?"

He motioned to Sasuke's snugly fitting jeans. Sasuke deadpanned, recalling Naruto's comment the first time he tried on Sasuke's clothing. "You must be packing an acorn" were his words, or something of the sort. Apparently he had redeemed himself, but it came as no surprise.

"Generally you pull up the pants, zip, and button."

Naruto shook his head, unwilling to believe.

"No, it's impossible. What do you do? Tuck?"

Naruto rubbed his crotch. Sympathy pains.

"God, the rashes must be horrible."

Sasuke's mouth hung partially agape, suddenly feeling a little odd standing there with his dick whipped out. What was wrong with Naruto, anyway? Though should he really be surprised? Weirdo.

"Hm..."

Naruto cocked his head.

"Whatcha thinkin'?"

The other crossed his arms.

He answered dryly, "Just wondering if it's even possible to kill the mood faster than this."

How'd he manage this one again? Naruto scratched the back of his head, grinning as his cheeks flushed red.

"I'm sorry. That wasn't very sexy, was it?"

Sasuke simply stared back, believing that no words were necessary.

"I mean, you're very well-endowed. Shouldn't that be a good thing to mention at a time like this?"

Sasuke grunted, rolling his eyes. _Seriously?_

"C'mon, give me another chance," Naruto weedled, smiling at Sasuke. "You can't act like you're not still aroused," Naruto motioned downward with a grin.

Sasuke couldn't have denied the claim if he tried, his most sensitive organ proudly giving him away. He was standing as Naruto lay on the bed, offering him a perfect view. He still managed to keep his stare every bit as condescending at it had been before... That is, until Naruto boldly grasped Sasuke's cock, swirling his tongue around the tip quickly.

He hadn't seen it coming, his fingers gripping and pulling at Naruto's hair reflexively.

"Nnn..."

A needy moan was born without Sasuke's permission and much to his dismay. Naruto had sucked him off once before, but it still felt so new to him. He was still not accustomed to the idea of another man, of Naruto specifically, tending to him in such a way. It still made him shiver, made him stare down at the person between his legs and feel the temperature in the room rise just slightly. Naruto smirked at Sasuke's reaction, gloating in his victory.

"Tch," Sasuke scoffed as he averted his eyes. "Don't get cocky. You're still a moron."

He could've contained himself if he'd had a little warning. He wasn't easily aroused, but as Naruto had pointed out, he was already a little hard, and thus quite sensitive.

Naruto took Sasuke's entire head into his mouth, looking up directly into Sasuke's eyes as he did so. Sasuke looked down, determined to hold Naruto's lustful stare. But his palms were sweating, and his heart was beating erratically. Naruto began to suck, intermittently lapping at Sasuke's slit as he did so. Sasuke's grip on Naruto's locks tightened, and his toes curled.

Naruto would have teased Sasuke for his escalating arousal, especially after his response to Naruto's sexual faux pas. But his mouth was rather busy at the moment. He allowed his eyes to do the work for him, goading Sasuke on, victorious in the other's partial submission. It provoked Sasuke, irritated that Naruto had forced his body to rebel against him. Still, he wasn't quite irritated enough to tell him to stop. No, he wanted more, and quickly.

Naruto lowered his mouth several inches, now sucking at both the head and a palm's width of Sasuke's shaft. Slowly, painfully slowly, he sucked, bobbing his head back and forth. Sasuke grunted, holding the hair at the crown of Naruto's head and forcing his head in while shallowly thrusting into Naruto's mouth.

Naruto considered backing off just to mess with his bossy lover. Would he really let Sasuke control him like this? Still, if he could make more of those noises come from Sasuke, it would be well worth it. He took in as much as he could, filling his mouth with Sasuke's hardened cock. He pumped fast and hard, and Sasuke didn't bother to refrain the loud moan he had just released. To hear Sasuke so unfettered... Naruto felt goosebumps prickle his chest and upper arms, his own need rising.

Sasuke's dick was hardening in his mouth now, and he tasted a very small bit of salty precum. Sasuke's noises drove him on, and he wondered exactly how loud he could get the ordinarily soundless Uchiha to become.

"Fuck, Naruto... Feels  _amazing_."

Naruto would have been panting just like Sasuke was if he currently had the ability. He was giving Sasuke just what he wanted. Sasuke wondered if he would become addicted to this. He had only had two rounds. He wanted five, ten, fifty... Could he ever get tired of this? He'd had blowjobs before, yes. But not from Naruto.

Meanwhile, Naruto shifted, his newly forming erection becoming rather troublesome as his body pressed into the sheets. He bent one knee upward, trying to relieve some of the offending pressure. He knew just how to relieve himself.

"Naru, I'm gonna..."

Naruto knew just how this sentence would end. He forced his head back, Sasuke's surprise dulling his reflexes. A wet smack filled the room as Sasuke's painfully red erection left Naruto's mouth.

"Naruto, you..." Sasuke growled, staring at Naruto angrily.

What was Naruto trying to do exactly? Who did he think he was, stringing him along like this? But Naruto quickly interrupted him.

"Shut up."

Licking his hand, Naruto shuffled his body as he grabbed Sasuke's shirt. He grabbed the other's shirt commandingly, forcing him on top of Naruto as Naruto lay on his back. The sheets smelled of Sasuke's detergent, a warm ray of sun falling on Naruto's forehead and the back of Sasuke's neck. Sasuke gasped as he felt their two erections slide together, a feeling altogether unfamiliar to him. Naruto kissed Sasuke deeply, possessively as he forced Sasuke's body to bend. He immediately grabbed both of their cocks in his right hand, pumping them together simultaneously.

For just an instant, Sasuke froze, shocked at the sensation of another man's cock against his own. This idea had never occurred to him. The act was erotic in a way that transcended its tactile aspect. Naruto mewled hungrily, his neglected length finally finding fulfillment as it pressed against Sasuke's. Their heated, swollen lengths were bound together now as Naruto's hand quickened.

Sasuke's shock quickly subsided, replaced by raging arousal. He'd been close to climax even before this, so it took everything in him not to cum on the spot. Now, wouldn't that have been embarrassing... He instead channeled his excitement into a heated kiss, teeth bumping briefly and lightly as their mouths savagely wrestled for dominance.

Naruto bit Sasuke's lip hard, causing it to throb as he pulled outward. Sasuke couldn't lose it... Not yet... He responded by breaking the kiss, biting the skin at the crook of Naruto's neck and sucking as hard as he could. Naruto groaned sensually, cramming his foot into the sheets in a futile attempt to mask his enthusiasm. Yes, this bold purple mark would be fully visible, whether Naruto was clothed or not. Sasuke wanted it that way. He would  _force_  Naruto to remember.

Naruto bit Sasuke's earlobe, tugging it and running his tongue up the shell of his ear. His hand created a loud shlick as it moved up and down quickly, and Sasuke felt his balls harden painfully.

"N-Naruto, at this rate..." he panted. "I can't..."

"I know, babe," Naruto was now panting every bit as hard as Sasuke was, a mixture of exertion and bliss. "Hold out for me."

He'd try. God, he'd try. But he could make no promises. Sasuke sucked his pointer finger, forcing his hand between Naruto's raised ass and the sheets, tracing the moist digit down Naruto's crack. They'd never done something like this before. How would Naruto react?

It was Naruto who gasped this time around, shocked as Sasuke's finger traveled so wantonly. Even as amazing as it felt, and as horny as he was at the moment, a part of him feared that this was not what Sasuke wanted, that Sasuke was doing this just to please him. But he'd come to trust Sasuke, knowing that the man wasn't one to operate out of pity or obligation. Naruto had been patient, but it would be a bald-faced lie if he were to say he hadn't dreamed this, fantasized this, masturbated to this many more times than Sasuke could ever guess.

"Oh god, Sasuke..." he moaned.

A part of Sasuke couldn't believe he was actually doing this. He'd never touched this part on someone else before. But the idea of penetrating Naruto, even if ever so slightly, satisfied the dominant part of him profoundly. He was once again leaving his comfort zone, the realm of his experience. Perhaps that was what enthralled him. He was a confident man. Whatever he didn't already know now, he was sure to learn.

Naruto held his breath as Sasuke's finger circled his pucker, the muscles around it clenching involuntarily. Naruto's hand slowed just temporarily, Sasuke's advance taking him completely off guard. Slowly, Sasuke pushed into Naruto's ass just past his finger's first joint. Naruto clenched his teeth, his face flushing a deep red. Only now did he realize that he had stopped breathing, forcing himself to take in deep pants.

"You're so fucking tight."

He was, in truth, surprised at how snug Naruto's entrance was when compared to female anatomy. It didn't leave much room, so he pumped slowly, loving the other squirming beneath him. Now Naruto was leaking, and Sasuke could swear he felt it coat him, lubricate Naruto's frantically pumping hand. Naruto pushed his ass down into Sasuke's finger, moaning shamelessly as he reveled in the sensation of being filled.

"Greedy, are we?" Sasuke smirked, unable to look entirely composed as he used every bit of concentration to stave off orgasm.

"Fuck...you..." Naruto spoke, but just barely. "Sasuke, I'm close... Shit..."

Sasuke pushed his finger in farther, almost hitting his second joint now.

"Do it."

Naruto's chin strained up as his body arched, his reddened neck facing the ceiling as he shouted. Naruto's ass clenched down around Sasuke's finger, forcing it out as warm ejaculate spurted onto their groins, thighs, stomachs, and heated organs. Sasuke's elbows shook as they barely suspended him above Naruto, his body finally hitting the long-awaited climax.

It was even more satisfying than his last time, which was saying a lot. His first time with Naruto was new. It felt adventurous and even a little rebellious. This felt the same way, though it had the added element of delayed (painfully delayed) gratification. His entire body tensed as his body was filled with an undeniable heat, several smaller spurts following his initial release. All the while, he kept his eyes open, taking in Naruto's every expression as he finally came undone, intent on memorizing it thoroughly.

Sasuke's arms gave way, his body abruptly falling on its side, next to Naruto. He closed his eyes for a moment, finding that the deprivation of other senses allowed him to more deeply appreciate the euphoric buzz tingling through his body, hazing his nerves from his forehead to his feet.

They lay there silently for several seconds, Sasuke's head lopping onto Naruto's shoulder and resting there. Naruto's pinky wandered to Sasuke's hand, latching his second and third fingers loosely. Naruto turned to Sasuke slowly, and Sasuke caught Naruto's gaze. They stared at each other for some time, Naruto smiling warmly and Sasuke unconsciously biting his lip.

"Sasuke?"

Naruto's voice was wistful as the effects of his orgasm ebbed.

"Hm?"

Naruto's brows knit.

"You were saying...before... That there had been a few others."

"Yes?"

Naruto's eyes fell away now, and Naruto looked as though he was searching for words, "Did they mean anything to you?"

Sasuke sighed. He wondered if Naruto thought that Sasuke viewed their own relationship just as dismissively as he had viewed the females he'd encountered. It was almost endearing how insecure Naruto could be at times.

"For the most part, no. One did."

Naruto frowned, a mixture of relief and jealousy.

"How long did you go out for?"

Sasuke felt a little out of sorts, resting on Naruto's shoulder as his bronzed fingers pet him softly. However, he didn't necessarily mind it. He allowed his weight to shift onto Naruto, glancing idly at the wall on the opposite side of the room.

"About nine months. Her name was Sakura."

Naruto pursed his lips. He honestly hadn't expected it to have lasted this long, given that it must have started when Sasuke was either in middle school or just barely in high school. Most young relationships these days were well off if they even reached a month.

"How'd it end?"

He wondered if he was getting too pushy, which he knew could cause Sasuke to clam up in an instant. Yet Sasuke supposed that these were things lovers should know about each other. It was a fair question.

"She was demanding and a little clingy. I wasn't up for it, especially after everything that happened."

He chose to leave most of the details out. Sasuke didn't find them important. He could wrack up as many as five missed calls from Sakura in a four hour period. He wasn't exactly a long-winded sort of person, so he'd say just enough.

"Ah..."

Would he push Sasuke away too? Naruto knew he could become a little clingy at times. It was a personality trait which he'd been made well aware of. But how else could he keep people around? How else could he ensure that he wouldn't be abandoned, wouldn't be shuffled from one begrudging participant in his life to the next? Sasuke and he had only been dating for a few weeks, and they'd only known each other for a few months. Would Sasuke leave him too?

"What's wrong?"

Naruto shook his head.

"Did you love her?"

Sasuke's body tensed. This question was...awfully personal, and he didn't know if he was even capable of a proper answer. He quickly passed it off with a wry arch of the brow.

"Why, jealous?"

But the other merely pouted.

Sasuke sighed before adding, "I don't know. I care about her, if that answers your question."

Naruto picked up on Sasuke's semantics in an instant. So, he still cared about her. Did he still love her? Did he ever love her? He didn't want to admit how envious he felt. And could Naruto really give Sasuke everything a woman could? He frowned. Similarly, Sasuke knew jealousy when he saw it.

"Don't worry. We hardly even talk anymore."

A sour look was shot in Sasuke's direction.

"Who says I was worried, bastard?"

Sasuke merely rolled his eyes at Naruto, a rather obvious gesture given how starkly his dark irises contrasted with white.

"And what about that boyfriend you had? How long had you been dating?"

Apparently, this had been Naruto's only other romantic interest. He at least wanted to know about the guy, wanted to know what he'd meant to Naruto.

"About two months," Naruto answered, feeling embarrassed about his relationship's brevity after hearing that Sasuke's relationship with Sakura had lasted nine months. He almost felt a need to defend himself as he continued, "But we only broke up because I ran away. I didn't tell him; I just left. He probably hates my guts now."

His head lopped downward, and Sasuke's eyes returned to Naruto's face. Did Naruto still think about this guy? Who was he? What kind of man was he?

"Anyone with half a brain would realize that for you to take off like that, you must have had a reason."

Naruto nodded silently.

"Do you miss him?"

The question was bold, and Sasuke almost regretted asking. Naruto's hand rested heavily on his shoulder.

"Only a little. Maybe just because it was my first time ever...feeling that way. But I never felt for him what I feel for you."

Sasuke didn't want the two of them to end up like that. He didn't want Naruto to dash out of his life, but why would he? Naruto had had every reason to leave, and Sasuke would have probably done the same thing in that situation. Besides, Naruto had promised him that he would stay. As skeptical as Sasuke tended to be, he believed Naruto when he said that.

"What was he like? Did he sing in the car?"

Sasuke's tone was devilish, and they both knew what incident Sasuke was referencing. Naruto knew all about his parents' singing habits. Naruto gave Sasuke's shoulder a light shove.

"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"

A light smile on his face now, Sasuke shook his head.

"No. I'll never forget it."

Naruto noted a tenderness in Sasuke's voice which the other was perhaps unaware of. Naruto smiled down at Sasuke as the unwitting compliment hit his ears, Sasuke quickly averting his eyes.

"He was...very talkative. He was friendly and ate a lot of pizza. He was also very sweet."

Even Naruto called him talkative? He wondered how much of a jabbermouth the man in question must have been. He should've known that Naruto's description would somehow involve food. Sasuke noted that he was nothing like this guy.

"What was Sakura like?"

Naruto wanted to know, yet he dreaded hearing Sasuke's answer. Whatever Sakura had been like, Naruto was an obvious downgrade. For god's sake, Sasuke was dating some homeless guy he met in a soup kitchen. He was dating  _him_.

"She was a good person," Sasuke antagonized.

"You're such a dick," the other snapped through laughter.

Sasuke smirked and shook his head, inhaling briefly before getting back on topic.

"She was a brain. She was maternal and sweet, but she nagged a lot. She had a temper that could scare the shit out of people twice her size. I like her, but... I don't think things could ever work out between us."

Naruto nodded slowly.

"I just can't figure out for the life of me why you'd choose me instead," he admitted.

Sapphire irises darted as Naruto realized his mistake. He hadn't meant to say that; the words had fallen from his lips.

"Why wouldn't I?"

Would Sasuke seriously ask this? Why would he even have to question such a thing?

"You know why."

Sasuke watched Naruto's expression, felt the blond's chest sink with a quiet exhale. He knew what Naruto meant; they both did. It was something Naruto quietly harbored, his pride too strong to admit it to Sasuke under other circumstances.

"No, I don't. Tell me."

Silence.

"Your situation has jack shit to do with who you are as a person. It doesn't make you worth any less."

Sasuke was kind for saying this, but he surely didn't mean it, Naruto assessed. It was simple. People compared themselves based on their personality, their appearance, their intelligence, and at the right age, their jobs. That's how someone was determined in or out of someone else's league, and Sasuke was out of his by a mile.

"I know that."

He was silly to need such reassurance. When Sasuke said this, it seemed so obvious to him. Yet it was something he couldn't bring himself to believe.

"I hope you do."

The quiet between them was slightly awkward, but Sasuke didn't mind it. Yet he was still the one who broke the silence, because he knew that Naruto hated them.

"We're both pretty weird people, Naruto. I can't claim to know what love is, but I don't think you can pick who you love."

Sasuke shrugged, his off-handed tone contrasting with how vulnerable he felt at the moment. "Love" was a big word. He'd never directly admit to loving Naruto, at least not at this stage. But he wondered what his true feelings really were.

"I think you just find someone whose weirdness is uncannily compatible with yours, and it works from there."

Naruto grinned, poking at Sasuke's side. Sasuke contorted, doing his best not to laugh. That asshole... It was a ticklish spot.

"So we're two weirdos in love? Indestinably intertwined? Is that what you're saying, Sasuke?"

Sasuke growled. It sounded so moronic when Naruto put it that way. Had he really said something so sappy? Yet given the bounce in Naruto's tone, it would appear that Sasuke's words had achieved their purpose.

"'Indestinably' isn't a word, mor-"

Before Sasuke could finish his sentence, Naruto leaned downwards and kissed him. Rolling his eyes, Sasuke decided that he might as well acquiesce.


	24. Chapter 24

“Are you really sure you want to cancel?”

_God yes._

Sasuke was leaning against the front door of his house. His throat was still sore from losing his lunch earlier that day.

“Yes. I’m sick,” Sasuke answered her, the hoarseness in his voice clear.

He caught the bug from Itachi, who much have contracted it at school. It made sense. The law students didn’t get the luxury of a good night’s sleep very often. Itachi had infected a friend as well, so he’d invited Itachi to stay at his place a couple nights and just relax. Despite Sasuke’s concern, Itachi seemed to be fighting it off better than Sasuke was.

Every Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday, around six, Sasuke mowed his neighbors’ lawn. He’d get a minimum of ten bucks out of that, twenty from the ones who really liked him. Then he’d catch the bus. He made the most money during lunch and the hour after school, where the rich kids would pay him hand over first with their parents’ money. After that, he’d make his way to the community college, where he’d sell shit by the pound to Kabuto and Deidara’s friends, and to friends of their friends. The cash was flooding in, but it could never come quickly enough.

Afterward, he would go to the mall and surrounding businesses to look for a job. Few of them were hiring. He supposed he could thank the recession for that. He couldn’t find a single business that both had openings and was willing to hire people under sixteen years of age.

And then, there was homework, because Sasuke had never even considered not doing his homework. His parents had permanently engrained that in him, it seemed. Meanwhile, Itachi was resting and doing his best to stay healthy. Sasuke saw to that personally. Sasuke could sacrifice his own health, because in his case, it would be temporary.

“It’s been a while since you’ve come in here.”

Yes, he had been avoiding Shizune. Honestly, he had too much going on in his life right now to spend his time whining on a psychiatrist’s couch. And like hell could they afford the medical care. Sasuke could mow lawns half a week and not make enough to cover a single copay. Itachi was the first priority.

Even if they couldn’t afford it, the hospitals were still obligated to operate on Itachi. Sasuke would have hoped that with such a complicated and serious condition, Itachi would only go to the best of the best. However, their financial situation didn’t allow them to be picky. And after the surgery, there was bound to be medication, follow up visits, more testing…

Sasuke’s research told him that stomach cancer was one of the deadliest forms of cancer out there. Itachi had been caught in Stage I, which was extremely rare. According to Itachi, since he’d been having severe heartburn over the past year, they finally decided give him a CT scan. The heartburn ended up being unrelated, but it could well have saved his life.

Itachi had scheduled his surgery three weeks out. Sasuke was counting down to the day with both eagerness and anxiety. Sasuke felt his stomach flip when he saw that Stage II survival statistics would put a patient at 50/50 survival for the next five years. And once the cancer spread?

Sasuke had read it but wanted to forget what he saw. He couldn’t think about that, because it made his chest tight and made him sense a panic attack lurking around the corner. The important thing was that they couldn’t afford to wait for long. Sasuke didn’t know whether Itachi could work after his surgery. He didn’t know if he ever would be able to work, or really, if he’d even live.

To add to all of that uncertainty, there was food, keeping the utilities up, rent, living expenses… They had managed to keep going after their parents died, but that was solely due to Itachi’s strength of will. Now it was Sasuke’s turn.

“I’ve been busy.”

There was a pause over the line.

“Sasuke, you told me you wanted to fix this.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, about that,” he answered dryly. “I’m better now.”

Shizune seemed to have no response to that, or at least she chose to leave the remark unaddressed.

“How many refills do you have on your Zoloft?”

“None.”

“How many pills do you have?”

“Enough.”

“You’re taking your medication, aren’t you?”

Sasuke sighed, rubbing the skin on the bridge of his nose. His entire face felt hot from his fever, and he was not in the mood for this conversation.

“Yes.”

And he had been. But he’d been breaking them in half. He was weaning himself down, because Sasuke’s medication was just another expense they couldn’t afford.

“That’s important. You could relapse if you don’t take your medication.”

She paused.

“I’m worried about you.”

Sasuke knew what she was talking about. She was afraid he’d regress. He’d start stealing and fighting again. The panic attacks and the nightmares would escalate. But if he cut his pills in half, he should have another three weeks. It was unfortunate, but at least he wouldn’t have to quit cold turkey.

“There’s no need for that.”

“I haven’t seen you in a while. I honestly don’t feel comfortable prescribing many more refills until we meet again.”

As if he would refill his Zoloft to begin with. Nevertheless, he didn’t want her calling Itachi and getting him involved.

“I’m too sick for that right now. I’ll come in as soon as I feel better,” Sasuke lied. He just wanted to go to his bedroom and lie down, but he couldn’t have this conversation around Naruto.

“Alright. When’s a good time for you.”

“I’m flexible.”

“How does two weeks from today work for you?”

“What time?” Sasuke asked, showing just enough interest so as not to seem suspicious. It wasn’t like he’d be showing up anyway.

“Five?”

“That should work. I’ll let you know if anything changes.”

“I’ll see you there. Take care of yourself.”

“Later.”

Sasuke ended the call and slipped his phone into his pants. His head was swimming.

About four days ago, after Itachi already was having cold symptoms for about three days, Sasuke got sick. It seemed to be the same damned bug. It started with coughing and a stuffy nose. Sasuke worsened quickly. Still, he’d been pretty sure this was just a very nasty cough until he woke up this morning feeling like he was stuck on a Tilt-o-Whirl. He sent himself to school regardless, but he ended up vomiting in the restroom over lunch. Thankfully, it was a Friday. He sucked it up the last two hours of the school day and figured he’d recuperate over the weekend.

He had hunched over the toilet at school, his chest, neck, and forehead sweating. He was more than grateful to be alone. In the midst of it all, he didn’t make one key connection. Whatever this bug was, the bug both he and his brother had caught, clearly had the ability to affect the stomach. He swore to himself silently as that realization dawned on him.

He waited until he got home to text his brother, because he didn’t want Itachi hassling himself with picking Sasuke up at school.

“Tachi, it’s a stomach bug. Sleep or I’ll make you wish you had.”

Sasuke had pushed himself hard. Hopefully, Itachi could still dodge it. Itachi was at a friend’s house for the next couple days, so he hoped that they’d understand Itachi’s situation and let him rest.

“Do you have the stomach flu?” Itachi answered before Sasuke could even put his phone away. “Should I come home?”

Sasuke sighed, dialing his brother.

“Sasuke? Are you okay?”

“Fine. Let me talk to your friend.”

“Why?” Itachi asked, sounding suspicious. “You sound like shit, by the way.”

“Just for a moment.”

“Why do you want to talk to my fr-?”

There was some muffling on the other line. A male voice picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hi.”

“So you’re Sasuke?”

“Yes.”

“I’m Shisui. Your brother’s told me so much about you.”

“He hasn’t mentioned you.”

“Heh!” the man laughed, not seeming put off for a second. “Clearly Itachi hasn’t taught you any manners.”

“Enough,” Sasuke interrupted. “I was told you know of my brother’s situation.”

“Yes,” he answered, sounding more serious now.

“As I’m sure you know, Itachi has a cold.”

“Yeah,” Shisui answered a little flippantly. “I already caught it from him.”

“Me too.”

“He’s a biohazard, isn’t he?”

Sasuke ignored the question.

“I didn’t sleep enough, and the same bug turned into a stomach flu.”

“ _Lovely_.”

What a dullard.

“Think about that for a second. What might happen if my brother caught the stomach flu?”

A pause over the line.

“Sasuke, it won’t be pleasant, but it’s not like it’ll cause… Like it’ll cause his tumor to grow. No need to get too worked up.”

“His body needs to be strong to fight this. He needs to rest. I would have him come home, but I have no doubts he’d spend all of his energy fussing over me.”

“Probably.”

“Look, I have no idea who you are…”

“Shisui.”

“But my brother is staying at your house,” Sasuke continued, not paying Shisui much mind. “So it is your responsibility to take care of him and make sure that he sleeps and has whatever he needs. Are we clear?”

He heard faint laughter over the line.

“Do you find my brother’s situation amusing?” Sasuke asked dangerously.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that Itachi’s always worrying about you. Guess it runs in the family.”

Sasuke frowned. Did he really worry his brother so often that he’d even discuss it with his friends?

“I can take care of myself. Tell him that next time he starts griping.”

“Give him a break. How could he not worry about his kid brother?”

“I’m _not_ a kid,” Sasuke retracted quickly, too late realizing that he wasn’t exactly strengthening his case.

“Alright. I’ll make sure he sleeps. I’ll force feed him chicken noodle soup.”

“Promise me that you’ll take care of him and call me if anything happens.”

There was another pause over the line.

“Sasuke, I promise.”

The humor had left Shisui’s voice, replaced with empathy. He was sincere. Maybe Itachi would be taken care of after all.

“Thanks. I appreciate it.”

“Nice meeting you.”

“Same.”

Sasuke hung up before his brother could harp on him for lecturing his friend. Relieved, he opened the door, glad to be home. He was surprised that Naruto didn’t run up to greet him, as he always did when Itachi was absent.

He made his way up the stairs slowly, so as not to irritate his stomach. He swung back the door. Naruto was typing on Sasuke’s computer silently, and without a word, Sasuke collapsed on his bed. Naruto said nothing.

“You don’t look like you’re feeling well,” Naruto remarked.

“Nice deductive skills,” Sasuke mumbled.

“Why did you come home so late?”

Sasuke tsk’d, wondering why Naruto seemed so combative.

“I’m only forty minutes late.”

“Are you still looking for work?”

“Yeah,” Sasuke answered, not appreciating the questions. “Are you trying to say something?”

“Yes, I am,” Naruto told him, and he did not seem pleased.

“Then spit it out.”

“If you’re still looking for work, why did I find twelve hundred dollars under the floorboard today?”

Sasuke didn’t move, but he swore his heart stopped for a moment. _Shit._

“It’s none of your business.”

Naruto stomping towards him where he lay.

“None of my business? If I suddenly find over a grand in hundreds and twenties in my boyfriend’s room, who supposedly can’t find any _legit_ job, how the fuck is that not my business?”

Sasuke sat up in bed, leaning against the wall.

“It’s savings. Back off.”

“Bullshit! I’ll back off when you tell me how you made this money.”

Sasuke merely stared at Naruto, the corners of his lips tilted downward. He said nothing. He hated this. Why couldn’t Naruto keep his distance?

“Where’d the fucking money come from!” Naruto shouted, placing one hand on each of Sasuke’s shoulders.

“Get the hell away from me,” Sasuke snarled back, pushing Naruto away.

Naruto responded by giving Sasuke’s shoulder a rough shove, causing Sasuke to immediately curl up and slap his hand over his mouth. He pointed fervently to the trash can. Without questioning, Naruto quickly handed it to him. Sasuke couldn’t be much more humiliated as whatever food was left in his stomach found its exit.

“Jesus, Sasuke…” Naruto muttered, looking down at Sasuke as he heaved but not touching him. “What are you doing to yourself?”

Sasuke couldn’t answer for the time being. Naruto looked like he wanted to put his hand on Sasuke’s shoulder but decided against it. But Naruto didn’t leave either, and it only pissed Sasuke off more. As he didn’t have much left in his stomach, fortunately, this didn’t take him too long. He breathed in deep.

“I’m _fine_ ,” he answered icily.

Naruto didn’t know that Sasuke had gotten sicker at school today, and Naruto certainly hadn’t given him the opportunity to speak up.

“No, what the hell are you doing? You’re out at all sorts of hours with no explanation. You’re making yourself sick. You come home with hard cash doing God _knows_ what…”

Naruto shook his head.

“For what? _Money?_ How can you be so fucking stupid?!”

Sasuke just glared at Naruto.

“Do you know… How many _lives_ are ruined when people go down this road? Because I’ve seen it! Some of ‘em are the people who lived on the streets with me!”

Sasuke wiped his mouth off, letting Naruto continue if that was what it took. Like hell would he tell Naruto the truth. He clearly wouldn’t understand regardless, and the fact that Naruto didn’t know sometimes came as a blessing. He could pretend around Naruto that nothing was wrong.

“But _you_ … You have a good upbringing, a roof over your head, a brother who loves you, and a real gift in school, and you do _this_?! It’s not fair!”

Naruto stamped his foot, his face going red.

“No. Actually, I don’t give a shit about what’s _fair_. I give a shit about you. I’m _worried_ about you!”

Sasuke’s anger directed his body to stand up.

“Why is everyone worrying about me?! I’m _fine_. I can take care of myself!”

He was shouting, his throat barely cooperating. It’s what he’d been saying for so long, but no one would listen to him. So this time he’d shout it, make it a memory.

“Why can’t everyone just mind their business and leave me the fuck alone!”

Naruto frowned, staring down at the ground and then looking back up at Sasuke.

“What can I do, Sasuke?”

Naruto’s change in temper calmed Sasuke as well. Yet he had no answer for Naruto.

“If I start working, they’ll need my identification… They’re already looking for me, so I could be gone within a matter of a couple days.”

Sasuke honestly couldn’t think of a job that wouldn’t require Naruto’s ID. He could perform odd jobs for the neighbors, but Itachi would discover Naruto in no time. With everything happening in the Uchiha household, Sasuke knew that Itachi wouldn’t want to take on another minor. Naruto stopped, holding his forehead in his hand.

“What can I do to make you stop going down this road?”

The sadness on Naruto’s face made him reconsider, but only for a moment. His eyes fell to the ground.

“Even if you could work, it would help. But it wouldn’t be enough…”

Sasuke sighed.

“So there’s nothing you can do.”

Naruto appeared crushed for just one moment, but this was quickly lost to anger.

“Dammit, bastard!”

Naruto charged forward, punching Sasuke’s shoulder and shouting into his face.

“Do I have to beat sense into you?!”

“I’m doing what I have to do!” Sasuke shouted, his irritated throat nearly causing his voice to break. “You could never understand!”

“You seriously think I don’t _understand_ being poor?” Naruto answered him with a scathing laugh. “I thought you were over this ‘me and only me against the world, woe is me’ bullshit. Who do you think you’re fooling, telling me I don’t understand?”

“You don’t understand! I have people to protect!”

Naruto wasn’t going to leave this alone. There was no escaping him, and Sasuke felt smothered.

“You don’t have a family! You don’t know what it’s like when…”

“When what, Sasuke?”

Sasuke clutched his chest. Had he come this close to giving away his secret?

“If you want to be close to me, you need to give me my space.”

Sasuke didn’t know how much longer he could keep this up. His heart was hammering. He was being cornered. He felt like he was on the brink of a reaction.

“Not right now I’m not. Not when so much is on the line.”

Naruto reached forward to shake Sasuke, only to have Sasuke swat his arm away.

“When _what?_ ”

When they die. When the last remaining person in said family is in danger of joining the rest, and all you can do is watch. No matter how hard he worked and what he did, he couldn't fight Itachi's cancer. The only thing he could do is raise money, to at least make Itachi more comfortable and afford him better medical care, and hopefully improve his chances indirectly. His chest felt cold and his fingers tingled. He clenched his fist and bit down on his lip, willing himself to retain his composure.

Naruto’s words hammered at Sasuke’s defenses, right into the heart of things. He had to push Naruto away somehow. He allowed himself to issue a cold smile.

“You know why you can’t let this go?”

“Educate me,” Naruto snarled.

“Because you’re clingy and dependent. Because you’re the one who can’t take care of himself and doesn’t want to be alone.”

Naruto, for once, had no response.

“You don’t want to lose me.”

“You’re right. I don’t want to lose you.”

Sasuke hitched, surprised that Naruto’s response was so calm.

“But don’t you know what it’s like to be afraid to lose someone?”

Sasuke stopped, his eyes catching Naruto’s. In that moment, there was an understanding between them which Sasuke had no response to. He only stared.

“Don’t think for one goddamned second that I’m giving up,” Naruto said. He stormed past Sasuke and bumped his shoulder with his own, walking out the bedroom door and shutting it behind him.


	25. Chapter 25

Sasuke plodded into his anatomy book, applying all additional brain power to memorize the specifics regarding the structure of the spine. As he read, lying in bed, he held his palm up against an iced cup of diet Coke, applying his cooled palm intermittently to his warm forehead and eyes. He’d been studying for over an hour, and Naruto still hadn’t returned to the bedroom after their fight.

A part of him wished he could’ve told Naruto what was happening, but whenever he came near the topic it made him feel like he was relinquishing control. It made him feel cornered, and in his current state, with his body and mind as weak as they felt, he got desperate. He needed the freedom to do whatever was necessary to help Itachi and keep their family afloat. Indubitably, Naruto would be sympathetic about Itachi’s illness, but could he ever understand why Sasuke would go to these lengths? Regardless, this would add an unnecessary layer of complexity to the situation.

He’d missed the way that he could pretend that everything was fine with Naruto. He’d done this successfully at the beginning of their friendship, only for it to be struck down soon after Naruto moved in. Now he had another chance, which was quickly falling away. He could just speak to Naruto, be happy with Naruto, and pretend that he didn’t do the things he did and that Itachi was healthy just for that moment. Naruto was his vacation from reality.

For the time being, that wasn’t an option. Naruto wouldn’t let go of the money he found, and Sasuke felt trapped and threatened. He’d told Naruto that he was dependent, that he couldn’t take care of himself. Naruto had actually done a damned good job at that, but even still Naruto found himself in too much danger. That was not Naruto’s fault.

As the guilt seeped in, Sasuke told himself that the statement had been unfortunate but necessary. He felt that Naruto deserved an apology, but if Sasuke gave him one, it would likely only invite more of Naruto’s interrogations regarding the money. Although it made him uneasy, he was in part appreciative that Naruto hadn’t come back to speak with him yet. He stubbornly refused to allow his mind to wander, rubbing his temple as his headache began to worsen.

He immersed himself in his studying, his arms wrapping tightly around his body. He began to feel cold, and his jaw tensed as he restrained himself from shivering. As the text began to blur, Sasuke sat up in bed to retrieve his glasses from the bedside table’s drawer. The instant he changed position, he felt the room spin and his stomach churn. Sasuke froze for a moment, allowing his body to adjust as sweat built on it.

With his glasses, he was able to study for another half an hour. However, he grew colder, no longer bothering to stop himself from shivering. The area behind his eyes was beginning to throb, and his face felt hot to the touch. Seemingly out of nowhere, the nausea quickly intensified, gurgling up his stomach. He shoved his book to the side. He would have been careful in switching positions, but he had no choice. The instant he stood, he knew he would have to vomit, feeling it rush up his throat. He staggered as quickly as he could to the bathroom and reached the toilet just in time.

Heaving was painful, but he tried to ignore it. Involuntary tears brimmed at the corner of his eyes as his body was wracked. He felt freezing but had no way to get a blanket until this was over. He prayed that Naruto wouldn’t hear. He could have used Naruto’s help at the moment, if only to get him a glass of water or blankets. But after the argument they’d had, Sasuke didn’t believe it was his right to ask Naruto for favors.

Unfortunately, Sasuke heard footsteps steadily approach. The bathroom was spinning around Sasuke, who now saw two toilets before him rather than one. It was becoming difficult to think, and his body was trembling. He felt a towel, drenched in cool water, dab at his forehead and cheeks. It felt as though so little attached Sasuke to this world, but he assumed it must be Naruto. He wished his body would stop heaving; he hardly had the energy to continue.

 “N-no…” Sasuke muttered, and the minute he spoke, he felt as though he’d have to vomit again. “I can take care of it.”

“Bastard, don’t be ridiculous,” Naruto sighed. Sasuke could hear resentment mix with concern in Naruto’s voice. Naruto did have every right to be resentful, taking care of him just after what he’d said to Naruto, after he’d pushed him away.

“I said I could handle m’self,” Sasuke slurred, shivering violently. “’S not right to ask for your help.”

“You never asked for it,” Naruto answered, tucking Sasuke’s bangs behind his ears.

Sasuke hoped that he had finally finished vomiting. He draped over the toilet, his face resting on the side of it. His nose and throat burned from the stomach acid. He had almost no strength to move, and his eyes couldn’t focus on anything. He heard a click and felt something cool in his ear. It must have been their ear thermometer.

“Shit…” he heard Naruto mumble. “You’re almost 105.”

Sasuke didn’t respond, and his dull gaze never shifted.

“Sasuke?” Naruto asked, sounding more worried, the resentment leaving his voice. “Are you done here?”

Sasuke lifted his head up a few inches, closing his eyes.

“Yeah.”

“I’m going to take you back to the bed.”

Sasuke wanted to cast him away, to tell him that he’d be fine on his own. How could he burden Naruto so soon after shoving him away with such words? Yet what other choice did he have? He didn’t even know how he’d stand without Naruto. How could he get this much sicker so quickly?

Sasuke’s clammy hand wrapped around Naruto’s, and he braced himself against the toilet as he pressed the soles of his feet against the floor. Naruto lifted him up, guiding him as Sasuke put all of his strength into his legs to get himself upright. It seemed as though Naruto had gotten stronger over the time he’d been in his house. His body did look fuller now.

Luckily, the walk to the bed was short. Sasuke collapsed there. Naruto got him a glass of water to sip on, though Sasuke only felt comfortable taking two modest sips. His entire body ached, and he was trembling so hard that it was painful. The feel of Naruto’s palm against his forehead eased him, grounded him. He pressed his face into it instinctively. Opening his eyes made him feel dizzy and nauseous, so he closed them. As Naruto’s hand pet his forehead, he drifted off.

* * *

The sun struck Sasuke glass's of orange juice perfectly this morning, the reflection casting a bright white light on the table cloth. Sasuke smiled as he took a bite full of heirloom tomato with fresh mozzarella cheese. Meanwhile, Naruto was shoving eggs in his face. Itachi was eating an omelet. Sasuke watched quietly, totally content, as Itachi and Naruto talked together, the pair laughing and smiling. They were in the house that they'd recently lost, the structure still standing tall.

A loud rumbling shake the house, and the lights went out. The picture frames and mantles falling down with a crash as the vibrations got out of control. Itachi and Naruto hadn’t moved, still talking and laughing as though nothing had happened. Sasuke quickly stood, only for Naruto and Itachi to look at him, puzzled.

“Sasuke, what’s up with you?” Naruto asked, tilting his head. “Are you okay?”

“Why are you both just sitting here?! We’re having an earthquake!”

Naruto and Itachi looked at each other, puzzled, and shrugged. Just a second later, the front door flung open, a blinding light shining into the house. The front door was hidden, around the corner and up the hall from the kitchen.

“LEAVE THIS PLACE FOREVER.”

It was spoken calmly, a distorted voice over a speaker, but the volume was so loud that it made their plates rattle against the table. It felt like Sasuke's eardrums would burst.

Itachi and Naruto stood, as if their minds were being controlled. They began to walk towards the open door.

“Wait! What the fuck are you guys doing?!”

Sasuke reached out to grab Itachi’s arm and pull him back, only for his strength to somehow leave him. He dug his feet into the ground, pulling with every bit of force he could muster, but it was nothing more than a gentle nudge. They continued to walk.

“Naruto! Knock it off!”

He tried to hold Naruto back as well, only for the same thing to happen. He was powerless. He couldn’t get them to stop moving. Why were they leaving?

“Where are you going?” Sasuke shouted, his throat going raw. “ _Answer me!_ ”

Both of them turned the corner, and the front yard was visible now. Looking out at the front yard, there was a doorway, randomly placed on the lawn, leading to pure white. There was no way to judge depth. That’s all it was…just infinite whiteness. Sasuke knew that should they enter that door, they would never return to him.

Sasuke grabbed Itachi’s and Naruto’s sleeve, pulling both of them back. Sasuke only slid forward on the floor along with them. He tried to run while still holding their clothing, but it did nothing.

“Stop!”

No response. Both Naruto and Itachi walked forward, eyeing the doorway mindlessly.

“What’s wrong with you?!”

Sasuke let go for a moment, staring wide-eyed. His breathing quickened, and he was terrified. Shit. They were going, going somewhere Sasuke couldn't follow. In a matter of seconds, he'd lose them forever. They were just inches from the front door.

“Don’t leave!”

As if in response, suddenly the house burst into flames. He looked around him. The stairway was crumbling. All the picture frames had fallen off the wall, smoke stinging his eyes and the heat burning his body. This felt so familiar to him. Naruto and Itachi walked out the front door, and Sasuke ran after them. A piece of flaming rubble crashed down from the ceiling, blocking Sasuke from exiting the front door. Sasuke bashed through the chunk of ceiling, his arm catching fire. It was agonizing, and he grit his teeth so as not to shout. His flesh was bubbling and blackening in front of him, but he didn't stop punching into the debris. Now he could see out the front door, not more than twenty feet to that door frame leading to nothingness.

“ _Please!_ ” he screamed out, forsaking all composure. “Don’t go!”

He couldn’t free himself, windows exploding and glass shattering around him, sweat pouring down his forehead as his skin burned away. The house was crumbling, and the smell of smoke made him want to vomit. He couldn't get enough air to his lungs. He threw his body against the debris, but it wouldn't budge

“PLEASE!” he pressed his face up to the rubble, not caring that his skin would burn away. Unadulterated desperation. “PLEASE DON’T LEAVE!”

He reached out, finally getting his hand through the blockage, desperately reaching out although they were nowhere within reach. They were hardly even a body’s length away from that void.

“NO!”

There was no stopping it. He was completely powerless, able to do nothing more than watch. And then, what he saw next made his eyes tear. Even the sensation of his flesh burning and the loud roar of the house being destroyed around him went dead silent.

His parents. They were standing on the other side now, holding each other’s hands and smiling.

“MOM! DAD!”

His voice was cracking, a small amount of saliva projected from his mouth. He could see them. They were _alive_ , just barely out of reach. He had to get to them. The skin on his outreached forearm peeled back completely, his bloody arm not hesitating for a moment as it forced itself out, fingers sprayed open, every cell in his body begging. Begging them, begging fate, begging God, begging everything.

“MOM! DAD! COME BACK!”

Naruto and Itachi passed the threshold. All four of them were on the other side, and he saw the door begin to sway shut, slowly. What he wouldn’t give to bring them back.

“No, God… NO!” he shouted, his voice nearly going out with a painful crack. “PLEASE. If you have to go, take me with you!”

He began to cry silently, not knowing what else to do. Tears trickled down from his cheek, one following the other.

“Please don’t leave me…” he whispered.

He only heard a bang as the entire ceiling gave way, smashing him into bits against the floor.

* * *

Sasuke was burning up. Naruto wondered if he should be taking Sasuke in to the doctor. He’d been sitting on the bed, with his back propped against the wall, for hours now, with Sasuke’s head in his lap. One moment he’d unconsciously kick his covers up, the next his entire body was trembling.

Sasuke had been squirming for the past ten minutes or so. His brows would knit, and he would frown and mumble in his sleep.

“Naruto…knock it…”

Naruto smirked. Typical, though he couldn’t deny being flattered that Sasuke was dreaming about him.

“…wrong with you…”

Naruto was barely able to make that out. Sasuke had said it so quietly. Typical Sasuke again. Sasuke’s breath became too deep, coming quickly.

“No…” Sasuke whined. He mumbled something else, and as hard as Naruto tried, he couldn’t make out what Sasuke was saying. He must have been having a nightmare. Sasuke clenched his teeth, his face dominated by anxiety.

“Mom… Dad…”

Sasuke's bottom lip trembled when he said this. It was as clear as day. Naruto swallowed tight. He was having a nightmare about his parents. Something in Sasuke’s voice made Naruto feel like his heart was about to break.

“Please don’t leave me…” Sasuke said so quietly that Naruto almost didn't hear. As far as Sasuke was into his slumber, the desperation didn't leave his voice.

Naruto put his hand over his mouth, his eyes welling up. He couldn’t bear it. Sasuke was so strong. He was always composed, avoiding showing weakness, always aloof and dominant. Seeing him so vulnerable, in such a private moment, left Naruto speechless. It had only been one year since Sasuke had lost his parents. Sasuke seemed so untouchable at times that it was easy to forget that. Naruto tried to smile as he pet Sasuke, the corners of his lips bending downwards as he tried not to cry.

Goddammit… He was _furious_ with Sasuke. So why were tears streaming down his cheek now? How ironic was it that Sasuke’s feeling in this dream so closely mirrored his own? What was going to happen to Sasuke? He couldn’t stand seeing Sasuke like this anymore, but what could he do to help him? For now, he was only watching. Saving him from his nightmare, Naruto pet Sasuke’s head gently, taking a sweaty lock of hair off of Sasuke’s forehead and pinning it behind his ear.

Sasuke gasped, his head lifting for a moment. He was breathing fast and hard, whimpering. Naruto frowned, stroking Sasuke’s forehead. The anxiety left his face, and his eyes became lidded. Sasuke tugged the sleeve of Naruto’s shirt and nuzzled his face against it.

“Mom…” he mumbled sweetly, looking up at Naruto with unfocused eyes.

No sooner had Sasuke closed his eyes than he drifted back to sleep.

* * *

 Sasuke didn’t have many memories of Saturday. He spend most of the day sleeping. He did remember taking a call from his brother. He prayed that Itachi wouldn’t get as sick as he had. After all, he had pushed his body too hard, and Sasuke had seen to it that Itachi would be careful. It was concerning, nonetheless. He was able to fake health on the phone call, with Itachi stating that he’d come home Sunday afternoon. Other than that, the entire day was a blur. But he did have blurry memories of Naruto holding, petting his face, and getting him water. He couldn't help but feel a little awkward as the fuzziest pieces of his memory saw him holding Naruto's hand into his face, grasping onto his forearm.

Waking up Sunday, he found Naruto lying next to him. It was about 6 in the morning, and Sasuke couldn’t remember what time he’d last fallen asleep. But for the first time since Friday, he felt like he could actually think coherently.

He gingerly got out of bed, his face still hot. His feet ached slightly as they touched the ground, the skin of his soles swollen and tender. Naruto immediately awoke, taking him downstairs and preparing him chicken noodle soup as Sasuke sat at the kitchen table quietly. Sasuke thanked Naruto weakly, sipping at his spoonful. Naruto nodded. They said nothing to each other, the air heavy.

Sasuke grew tired soon after eating. He took another nap, and he woke up to the sound of Itachi’s car entering the garage. Naruto was at his desk, using his computer. It was only noon. Itachi was home early. Sasuke pulled himself out of bed, reaching the banister to see Itachi walk in. Itachi dropped all of his things by the foot of the stairs, leaning against the wall and holding his hand against his forehead.

“Itachi?” Sasuke asked from above, staring down at Itachi with concern. “Are you okay?”

Itachi nodded slowly.

“I have what you have, I think. I can’t…”

Itachi walked as quickly up the steps as possible, walking into the door with his hand over his mouth and shutting the door behind him.

Sasuke knit his brows together in concern, frowning. It looked like there was no avoiding the stomach flu for Itachi either. He’d hoped that if they were careful enough, he could dodge it.

And that’s when Sasuke heard the retching noises.

“Itachi?”

Itachi needed him now. He twisted the knob on Itachi’s bedroom door, only for it to be locked.

Itachi was keeping him away. While he didn’t like it, he couldn’t claim that he wouldn’t have done the same thing. At the very least, Itachi did not sound as horrible as Sasuke had.

"Itachi?" he asked again, knocking at the door. Itachi said nothing. It was privacy he wanted.

Sasuke opened his bedroom door and sat on his bed, glancing at the door to Itachi’s room sullenly.

“Damn…” Naruto mumbled. “He sounds like shit. Almost as bad as you did.”

Sasuke stared at Naruto for a moment with his mouth ajar, and then scowled at him, his expression completely soured.

“It’s none of your damned business.”

Naruto tilted his head, more confused than offended. Had he struck a chord?

“Sasuke…” Naruto muttered. “I get… I know I can be clingy sometimes. You were right about that. But can you at least tell me what’s wrong?”

The way Naruto spoke made it difficult for Sasuke to be angry.

“I’m just…not comfortable talking about that,” he mumbled.

The silence stretched between them. Sasuke opened his mouth to speak but decided against it

“I’m sorry,” Sasuke said, breaking the silence. “I just wanted you to back off, and you were making me nervous. So I lashed out. You’re not dependent, or weak, or whatever…”

Naruto sighed, sitting next to Sasuke on the bed.

“So, do you think I’m clingy then?”

Sasuke paused to think.

“Sometimes it feels like that.”

He gently jabbed Sasuke’s arm.

“Dick,” he said playfully.

Sasuke shrugged it off, continuing.

“It’s hard to say. I’m abnormally distant, so I don’t know what’s normal. Things with Sakura didn’t work out mostly for that reason.”

“Maybe it’s both of us,” Naruto offered.

“Maybe.”

They both stared forward. Sometimes, their differences complemented each other’s, and sometimes they clashed. But nothing could ever be perfect, and Sasuke saw something good here, something he wanted to fight for. He reached out for Naruto’s hand, grasping it in his own as he heard his brother become sick again. For the time being, he just wanted to hide into Naruto and forget about this.

“If we’re going to make this work, we need to compromise,” Naruto said, and Sasuke knew it was true. “We have to meet each other in the middle.”

Sasuke paused.

“I’ve always been particularly slow when it comes to this sort of thing,” he said, staring down towards his lap. “I’m trying, but you’ll also have to be patient.”

Naruto chuckled.

“You know, I’ve just…felt lonely and unaccepted for so long. I’d be flipped from family to family so fast, and I wondered if it was something I did wrong. I just feel the need to form bonds as fast as I can before I miss my chance.”

Sasuke brushed the back of Naruto’s hand with his thumb, which made Naruto feel safer.

“You don’t need to think like that about me, Naruto.”

“Force of habit,” Naruto smiled.

Sasuke snickered. This was the same reason he was in his own predicament, so he understood well.

“I’ve always been a little distant. I never totally related to people. And after the fire… Having more close people means that you might have to go through that again, and honestly it was shitty enough once.”

Naruto frowned, remembering how Sasuke had woken up when it was still dark on Saturday morning, calling out for his parents. Sasuke tried to appear as though he had dealt with this, but he was clearly still recovering. While it just about killed him, maybe he would have to be patient until Sasuke would truly allow himself to be vulnerable.

“About the money…”

Naruto jerked, shocked that Sasuke would bring this up on his own free will.

“It’s probably not as bad as what you think. I’m selling low grade stuff around school, like weed and a few prescription pills. I’ve already decided I’m not stealing again.”

What Sasuke said had been true. It wasn’t as bad as Naruto thought. With Sasuke being so secretive, his mind lingered on the worst things, like stealing, maybe even mugging given the issues Sasuke had with violence. In a way, he was relieved.

Yet hearing Sasuke actually admit to that was a shock of its own. He was dealing drugs? He just couldn’t comprehend _why_.

“Sasuke, why? Why are you doing this?”

Sasuke sighed deeply, resting his face in his hand.

“There are things going on that you’re unaware of. I’d never do something like this for the thrill, or because I just don’t want us to be poor. I don’t take any pleasure… It’s shitty and not something I’m proud of.”

He did feel a little ashamed telling this to Naruto, who always seemed so pure to him. Regardless of everything Naruto had went through, he seemed almost incorruptible to Sasuke. 

“Sasuke, you need to stop.”

“I can’t.”

“Why?” Naruto asked, his voice becoming frustrated against his will.

“Trust me. There’s a reason.”

“If there’s such a good reason, why won’t you tell me?”

He could hear Itachi getting sick in the room nearby. He wanted to help him.

“Naruto,” Sasuke said firmly. “Knock it off. You can’t make me stop, and you can’t convince me.”

“Sasuke, stop this, or…”

Naruto couldn’t finish. He’d leave? If he issued this ultimatum, and Sasuke continued dealing drugs, then Naruto would have to leave. He'd then be even more powerless to protect Sasuke. He couldn’t fight Sasuke into his senses either; he was far too sick. He first needed to understand what was motivating Sasuke. It was clearly extremely important to him. Naruto knew that there had been something eating at Sasuke for a while, no matter how well he could hide it.

“Or what?” Sasuke asked, seeming colder now.

“Bastard…” Naruto growled, giving Sasuke a weak punch in the arm. “You’re gonna kill me with worry. If you don’t quit this soon, I’ll find a way to force you.”

Sasuke frowned, wondering what was in Naruto’s head. If it came down to that, what would Sasuke do?

Maybe he could outlast it. If he could even find a job, he could end this insanity. If only this could be over… Maybe he wouldn’t ever have to tell Naruto. Even if he could postpone telling him… He just didn’t feel ready. The thought of it made him feel sick to his stomach. He didn't want to stop pretending with Naruto.

“We’ll see.”

“Don’t underestimate me.”

Sasuke looked down at Naruto, who was looking up at him with vibrant, demanding blue eyes. Sasuke smiled. Naruto was trying so hard to save him.

“Naruto…” Sasuke gently kissed Naruto’s forehead, and despite everything Naruto felt himself blush. “Thank you.”

Naruto grasped Sasuke’s hand harder and kissed him, their lips just brushing together without their tongues meeting. They’d made progress. They were walking towards each other now, but it still didn’t solve their problems. It didn’t make Itachi well, and at least for the time being, it wouldn’t get Sasuke to stop selling drugs.

In that moment, both of them felt absolutely powerless. Neither of them had control, but both of them would do everything they could. That was all they could expect of themselves, and they had no choice but to leave the rest to fate.


	26. Chapter 26

Naruto cast Sasuke a sympathetic look at the sounds coming out of Itachi's bedroom. Once again, Itachi was violently sick. Sasuke ignored Naruto’s oblivious concern,  _tried_  to ignore the sounds of his brother's suffering. What could he do? Itachi's door was locked during such times, and Sasuke could never get him to open it. As much as it pissed him off, he would have done the same damned thing in Itachi’s situation.

Still, just as he did every time, he would attempt. He shut his bedroom door behind him and approached Itachi's door, knocking politely. As expected, Itachi didn't answer.

"Itachi, let me in."

No answer.

"Are you dehydrated?” Sasuke asked, his palm resting on the door as he hopefully waited for a response. “I can get you some ice chips."

Again, silence. Of course.

"Itachi, I know when you're not eating!”

Sasuke kicked the door, sounding vexed this time around and much closer to his age.

“Let me feed you!"

He waited for almost a full minute for a response, finally emitting a soft scoff and walking away. Of course Itachi was too proud to accept his help. Or perhaps Itachi hadn't wanted Sasuke to have to deal with this, to have him worry. He didn't realize that shutting Sasuke out was far worse, the youth's imagination given free reign.

There was only one way he was of much use to his brother, from a practical standpoint. He had been selling well. Phenomenally well, actually. It was nothing like his first day, since he was now paying for all of his inventory. But he was still making a pretty fat profit, and the wad of cash under his floor board was quickly growing. He'd made nearly two thousand dollars.

There was no way around taking risks, but he did what he could. He kept a low profile and operated on a need-to-know basis. He sold to Deidara’s old customers, mostly. At least Sasuke had reasonable assurance that they weren't snitches.

Even if they were, Sasuke had enough blackmail information on them to make them think twice. Kabuto saw to that much, and the penalties were much steeper for legal adults such as themselves than they were for Sasuke. Sasuke wondered how Kabuto could know so much about people. Point to a random kid in the cafeteria, and chances were that Kabuto would have some sort of dirt on them. What did Kabuto know about _him_ , anyway? What were Kabuto's sources?

Whatever the case, he wasn't in a position to demand explanations from Kabuto. If it weren't for him, Sasuke wouldn't have had even a penny tucked away at that desk beyond yard duty and paper delivery. He still relied on Kabuto for his information and supplies, since he had no direct contacts with the county's suppliers. Thus, he couldn't afford to piss the guy off.

Tuesdays' lunch met him tired and with renewed hunger. He still felt tired and generally achy, but his fever had gone down. He hadn’t taken his medication since Friday. For Friday’s and Saturday’s doses, he wasn’t able to keep anything down, so he decided that he’d rather take the opportunity to wean off of it completely. He felt a little sluggish, but nothing horrible.

Luckily, Kabuto wasn’t at school today. Sasuke had brought an apple from home, which would serve as his entire meal. The school lunches were a solid four bucks a piece.

"Sasuke, you're eatin' like a bird," Suigetsu announced, diving into his pizza.

Karin frowned.

"I know! Sasuke, I think you're getting too thin!"

Juugo stopped eating immediately, grabbing Sasuke's shoulder and spine to assess the concern. Sasuke rolled his eyes at them, not appreciating being assessed as if he were cattle. Though Sasuke was trim, it was obvious that he wasn't underweight.

"He's not getting too thin. But Sasuke, you're eating enough at home, aren't you?"

A little perturbed by the concern, Sasuke distanced himself from the table.

"Of course. The food here just sucks."

Suigetsu laughed, "Or you just want to keep your figure."

Karin shook her head, addressing the rest of their group.

"You should hear the stuff girls say about you, Sasuke. Because I eat with you, I'm threat number one. I have to deal with all of this craziness for your sake. I hope you're appreciative."

She ended her rant with a flirtatious wink.

"I wouldn't count on that," Sasuke replied.

Suigetsu snorted.

"What is it about you, anyway? Girls aren't all trippin' over themselves to get to me like that. Or even Juugo, and Juugo's the damned linebacker!"

Sasuke sighed, "You act astonished, yet you keep saying that if given the opportunity, you'd fuck me."

Suigetsu huffed.

"Well yeah, _I_ did. But what about everyone else?"

Karin rolled her eyes.

"Hey, not like there's a subject matter expert at the table or anything. You know, the only female connection between Sasuke and the rest of Sasuke's fan club," Karin quarreled sarcastically.

"Dammit, bitch... Fine. Why are the females at our school obsessed with Sasuke?"

Karin merely grinned.

"He's the stereotypical bad boy. He's got looks, talent, and a dark past, and he seems indifferent to other people. That's what girls want around here."

Suigetsu rolled his eyes.

"That goes for just about anywhere. There's a reason why it's a cliché."

Sasuke knew that most people at Konoha only knew his clichéd version. He knew that the obsessions were superficial and generic. Honestly, it was difficult to give a damn.

" _Especially_  here," Karin clarified. "Konoha can get a little stuffy. A lot of these girls are sick of behaving. And now that Sasuke's dealing, who knows what will happen?"

Sasuke growled, shooting Karin a quick glare. He had made it clear that he didn't want to speak about his new "hobby" any more than he absolutely had to. He hated thinking about it, he hated the way his friends made it sound, and worst of all, he hated getting praised for it. Even less appealing was having everyone else know about it.

Suigetsu rolled his eyes.

“Jesus, Sasuke, if you’re so salty about it, why are you even doing it?”

“Why do you think, genius? I need money.”

Suigetsu tilted his head, dramatically raising his brow.

“Huh? Why’s that?”

“None of your business.”

Suigetsu crossed his arms and huffed.

“I just remembered something I wanted to tell you, something that might help you. But you’re not exactly incentivizing me here.”

“Suigetsu,” Sasuke sighed, and he looked every bit as stressed as he was.

Karin whacked the back of Suigetsu’s head.

“Just tell him, jackass.”

“Why would I do that? He’s acting like a little punk!”

Karin sighed, rolling her eyes. In a second her expression transformed, leaning onto the table with her bust over the edge and smiling at Sasuke.

“It’s the labor center. They pay under the table. Spend a full day there, and you get 40 bucks before you leave.”

Sasuke frowned, ignoring Karin’s mannerisms for the moment. Naruto had kept saying he wanted to help, but neither of them could figure out how. Besides, they could both use a little space. Naruto was surely just waiting for a reason to get out of Sasuke’s room. He was stuck in there nearly 24/7.

However, there was bound to be a risk in having Naruto leave the house. Since Naruto didn’t have a phone, there was always a chance of him getting spotted by Itachi, in which case Naruto would likely lose his home. There was even a part of Sasuke that didn’t want to tell him. Could he really ask Naruto to do this? And what if Naruto was sent away? What if he never saw him again?

Sasuke had put his own future on the line for Itachi. He’d bring this up with Naruto. It was up to Naruto if he wanted to act on it or not.

“Do they ask for identification?”

Suigetsu arched a brow.

“Why? Have an alias?” Suigetsu jabbed.

“Yes, Suigetsu. I have an alias. Now answer the question.”

Suigetsu snickered.

“They don’t ask for an ID. Is that what you needed to know, princess?”

Sasuke could feel his body tense. Usually, he wouldn’t give a damn about a situation like this. Why was he getting frustrated? Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the fact that he was still sick and hungry. For whatever reason, everything seemed to be getting on his nerves today.

“Yeah, that’s it,” Sasuke answered curtly.

“I don’t know why you’d wanna work at that labor center, Sasuke,” Suigetsu drawled. “It’s nowhere near as profitable as what you’re doing here, and cleaning out toilets and washing dishes and shit? _Not_ sexy. I’ll tell you firsthand, it’s a shitty place to work.”

Sasuke clenched his teeth.

“But man, you’re taken the school by storm with this shit! It’s such a rush, and you must be rolling in cash. I wish I were you.”

“ _Why_ , you idiot?” Sasuke asked, his voice becoming somewhat louder now. “Why do you find it so alluring? Are you so small-minded that you think risking your future is cool, just for shits and giggles? Because it’s rebellious?”

Suigetsu’s jaw hung slack, surprised by Sasuke’s response. As composed as Sasuke was, hearing any emotion in his voice sounded a little off.

“This isn’t something to be _proud_ of. You have jack shit for responsibilities. If I were you, I wouldn’t even touch it. So shut the hell up and stop glamorizing it!”

The irony of it pissed him off. All Suigetsu had to do is take care of himself and stay out of trouble. The same was true for the rest of his friends. Sasuke was doing something he hated for someone he loved. But they’d just walk into it willingly?

“Jesus, Sasuke… What crawled up your ass and died today?”

“Easy, guys,” Juugo interrupted, placing one of his large, bear-like hands on each of their shoulders. Sasuke crossed his arms and scoffed, turning away. It had been months since he’d gotten riled up at school like that.

It was also true that he’d committed his own indiscretions in the past for thrills. Why had he been so stupid? He felt a little like he was talking to himself several months back. He would have loved to go back in time and deliver those same words, though Sasuke’s motivation at the time had largely come from unhealthy coping. When he told Naruto that he was going to forsake his vices for a better life, he meant it. But he never could have foreseen what was to happen to his brother.

“I’m sure you have your reasons, Sasuke. Suigetsu, he’s told us many times that he doesn’t want to talk about it. Let’s give it a rest.”

Suigetsu grumbled, leaning back in his chair.

“Karin…” Sasuke mumbled.

Karin jumped up in her chair so fast it seemed unnatural. A little unnerving, really.

“Yes, Sasuke?”

Sasuke hesitated before speaking again.

“How many people know about what I’m doing?”

Karin arched a brow at Sasuke, surprised to hear uncertainty in his tone. This wasn't like Sasuke. It was even more unlike him to ask her a genuine question. But she would be the person to talk to, if anyone. Her intense love of gossiping meant that she was always in the loop.

"Only the people who would consider buying from you already. I know how to keep my mouth shut when it's called for."

Sasuke frowned, finding that statement questionable.

"So...”

He stared towards the table, not even knowing why he was bothering to ask what he was just about to.

“Would Sakura know?"

Suigetsu stopped eating his food for an instant to catch Sasuke's facial expression, and Juugo tilted his head. Even Sasuke wondered why he was asking this. Why did he care?

Karin did not seem pleased to hear her name.

"Oh, that bitch?"

Sasuke deadpanned.

"Yes, Karin. 'That bitch.'"

Karin rolled her eyes, "You haven't mentioned her in forever. I'd thought you'd finally gotten some sense and realized that she's an obvious downgrade from me."

Sasuke's frustration was evident in his voice as he responded, "Does she know or not?"

It seemed that the whole table was surprised that Sasuke was expressing concern over Sakura. Sasuke claimed to have shrugged off the breakup neatly, but his friends all had their doubts. Sasuke would go silent at the mention of her name, and so she was gradually regarded as a taboo subject.

Karin took the current reference poorly and with her expected dose of jealousy. She sighed before still giving her honest answer, "Ever since the chair incident, we haven't been on talking terms. But from what I know, I doubt you have anything to worry about."

Right, Sasuke couldn't forget the chair incident. Several months before dating Sasuke, Sakura had gotten into a brutal catfight with Karin over Sasuke's supposed affections. Karin had obviously started it, but Sasuke had mistakenly expected Sakura to back down. It became more than just a catfight as chairs were raised, and Sasuke had to talk some sense into the two. He didn’t even want to think of what might have happened had he not been there.

"Thanks."

Wednesday morning was frigid, and Sasuke bundled himself up to keep warm. His long black jacket extended to his tailbone, thick blue jeans keeping out the wind. Sasuke took his seat at the back of the bus, and fortunately no one else tried to occupy it. That is, until Sakura sat down.

Sasuke couldn't help but stare with questioning eyes. Sakura's hands were clasped neatly in her lap, and her viridian eyes were staring downward. She'd cut her hair recently, and it suited her. They sat next to each other in silence.

"I know what you're doing."

Sasuke's stomach jumped. He hadn't wanted her, of all people, to know. Finally, he was starting to figure out why. It was likely for the same reason he never wanted Naruto to know about these things. They just seemed so…innocent.

He did his best impression of apathy.

"It's none of your business," Sasuke muttered, justly loudly enough for her to hear.

"It  _is_  my business, Sasuke. You're selling to my boyfriend."

And of course, this is how Sakura had to find out. Sasuke didn't even know she  _had_  a boyfriend. And she wasn't here to check up on Sasuke, scold him about his future, or offer any words of encouragement. She just wanted him to stop selling shit to her boyfriend, which he supposed was a fair request.

"You and Gaara are dating?"

He'd noticed the two of them getting closer lately. He saw them walking together in the halls sometimes, usually with others but sometimes alone. For him not to have heard the details, it must've been made official fairly recently. Sakura nodded, and Sasuke couldn’t help but feel a little jealous.

Gaara was a nice enough guy. In fact, when he first approached Sasuke, he had been skeptical. Why would a guy like Gaara want to do stuff like this? Even Sasuke didn't actually use the drugs he sold. Yet it wasn't Sasuke's place to pose questions, nor did he want to.

"You do know that if I stop selling to him, he'll just get it off of someone else, right? There are really two main dealers at this school, and I'm not one of them."

"I'm aware of that, Sasuke," Sakura's voice was harsh. "But I'm asking  _you_  not to sell to him, if I mean anything to you at all."

Sasuke sighed. Gaara had been a good customer, but he couldn't do this to Sakura.

"You got it, but I'm going to have to tell him why."

"No complaints there."

Sasuke wished that Sakura would get up and leave now, but she didn't. She just stayed next to him. It was obvious that she was unhappy with him, angry even. But she wouldn't speak. Sasuke pretended to ignore her and did so quite convincingly.

"What are you doing, Sasuke? You were always such a good student. You used to have your head on straight."

Even Sasuke didn't know what he was doing sometimes. All he knew was that if his pace slacked, his brother might be at risk. So he had to keep going, by whatever means necessary.

"You do what you have to do."

Sakura's voice was angry now, but she tried to keep the volume down so as not to be overheard.

"Who's forcing you to do this? First the fights, now you're selling drugs? And look at the people you hang out with."

Sakura paused, shaking her head.

"Keep your voice down," Sasuke hissed.

When Sakura looked back at Sasuke, her eyes were full of disappointment.

"You've changed."

Her voice was strong and confident. She was looking down on him now, and it angered him. She had no idea what his situation was. But more than that, Sakura's disillusioned eyes plagued him. A small part of him wanted to tell her why, to explain himself. But nothing good could ever come of that.

"People change."

Sakura shook her head.

“You're not the same guy I fell for.”

“Then it’s a good thing we broke up.”

He hoped that his dismissiveness would scare her away. Sakura frowned, torn between storming off and keeping her seat. She even braced her arm against the seat cushion, readying to stand.

"Stop this, Sasuke. I don't want you to ruin your life."

Sasuke sighed, leaning back.

“It’s best for you not to worry about it. Associating with me can only mean bad things for you.”

Sakura was a bright girl. She was ambitious and brilliant, so he had no doubts she’d achieve her goals. Sasuke could only see himself holding her back. There was too much baggage for someone as untethered as her. It made no sense.

Sakura's eyes returned to his face. She frowned, holding her books tightly to her chest as the bus hit a pothole. Sakura was obviously upset, and oddly enough, that actually bothered Sasuke. Sasuke had disappointed quite a few people lately, it seemed, but he knew what had to be done. He wouldn’t waver.

“You said it yourself. I’m not the same person. The person you used to know is gone, so get over it.”

Sakura nodded, her thumb and pointer fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. He heard a quiet sniff beside him. She was crying, softly, and only Sasuke could tell.

It made Sasuke’s body feel heavy. He hated the sound, but maybe this was for the best. Sakura was horrible at letting go, especially when it came to him. Maybe it was better to sever all ties beyond a doubt, not leaving Sakura to burden herself. Their paths didn’t meet anymore.

"Keep it together, Sakura,” Sasuke mumbled, gentleness making its way into his tone despite himself. “You need to focus on Gaara, not me."

The girl finished drying off her cheeks, eliminating any signs that tears had fallen. Since she had hardly cried, this was easily achieved.

"Wise up, would you? It’s not my fault if you end up in juvie.”

With no other announcement, she stood and walked towards the front of the bus. Sasuke plunked his backpack in the now empty chair, sighing off his frustration and looking out the window. He had business to attend to today, so he hoped that he could forget this conversation as soon as possible.

He met Kabuto in the men's restroom between second and third period. Two hundred bucks. He nonchalantly shuffled it into Kabuto's hand. This was Kabuto's cut: ten percent.

"Holy fuck," he gaped, staring down at the cash.

Sasuke merely grunted in response. It was all business, and they had already achieved what they'd come there for. He took a pace towards the exit.

"So, two grand? How the hell did you manage that?"

"Expansion," Sasuke remarked vaguely.

Kabuto pushed up his glasses, his hand on his hip as he leaned towards Sasuke, analyzing him closely.

"Please explain. I hate to admit this, but you might teach me something."

Sasuke sighed, his reluctance readily apparent.

"Here, you have a few rich kids with too much of their parents' money and not enough options, but that's skimming the cream off the top, so to speak. The real bread and butter is at Suna and the community colleges. They're lower dollar sales, but they come by the dozen."

Kabuto stepped back, smiling at Sasuke. It made him feel like a child being congratulated for tying their shoes.

"Well, color me surprised. Aren't you the businessman now?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Don't patronize me, Kabuto."

He knew that Kabuto liked to manipulate through praise. It wouldn't get past him.

"I'm being serious. Even I didn’t grow that fast when I started,” Kabuto shifted his weight. “Though I also didn’t have anyone to look out for me like you do.”

So Kabuto was “looking out for him?” It made Sasuke want to gag, but he kept his mouth shut.

“How much money did you say you wanted to raise?" Kabuto asked.

"Five grand. Why?"

Kabuto brought his hand to his chin, pausing for a moment to think.

"So, in just a few weeks, you've made two grand. How much time did you have again to raise the money?"

Kabuto knew there was a time pressure here. He had to know how important it was for Sasuke to raise this money. Was he just  _trying_  to get under Sasuke's skin or something?

"What are you getting at?"

Thin lips frowned.

"It's just that... At this rate, aren't things kind of risky for your brother?"

Sasuke’s eyes widened.

“How do you know that?”

“It was an educated guess,” Kabuto smirked. “But now a certainty. I knew that someone important to you was in trouble.”

Sasuke kept his composure but inwardly cursed himself. The _last_ thing he wanted was Kabuto learning more about him. He’d kept Sakura and even Naruto at arm’s distance, and Kabuto had leverage over him. Without Kabuto, the money was stop coming in.

Of course, it was another attempt at manipulation. Kabuto wasn't bad at it, but he wasn't good enough to fool Sasuke either. He’d tried to fluff his ego just a minute ago. It still didn't change the fact that Kabuto was right, that things were getting riskier for his brother. Obviously Kabuto was trying to make a statement.

"Just get to the point."

Kabuto seemed miffed by that, as his circuitous weedling was cut off.

"Sasuke, I'm trying to do you a favor."

He sighed.

"Let me hear it then."

"You're never going to raise the money going through other people. I'm in pretty tight with this county's main supplier. He's got three different grow rooms, and he cooks a lot of harder stuff that goes for even more. He has more shit than he knows what to do with, and he asked me if I could send anyone his way."

Sasuke paused for a moment. Couldn't this accelerate things? Still, Sasuke supposed he get all the money he needed overnight by robbing a bank. There was a limit to how far he would go. Getting himself arrested wouldn’t help Itachi.

"No, I'm not doing that."

Kabuto placed his hand on Sasuke's shoulder, and Sasuke didn't bother to push it off.

"Sasuke, do you want to help your brother or don't you?"

Sasuke frowned.

"That's not going to work on me."

The man rolled his eyes.

"Alright, Uchiha."

He grabbed Sasuke's hand and pushed the money into it, all two hundred bucks' worth.

"I'm setting up a deal with this guy, and I need someone to come with me. Someone with sharp eyes and a cool head. You can kind of feel the guy out, but no one's gonna make you work with him. Just in and out."

Sasuke arched a brow.

"So, why did you give me the money back again?"

A sly smile.

"That's for coming with me. And there's another two hundred for you when it's over."

Bewildered, Sasuke stared back at the other. Four hundred bucks just for this? At this rate, he'd be well on his way to three grand.

"Why is it so important that I'm there?" Sasuke asked skeptically.

"Because you're the only one at this school I can trust worth a damn. You're honest, smart, and level-headed. I know enough people with one or two of those traits, but not so many with all of them."

The thing that frustrated Sasuke about Kabuto was that even though his words were manipulative, they were usually true. Most of the people they associated with weren't extremely honest, and the ones that were didn't have a lick of experience with this subject matter. Oddly enough, Sasuke had never caught Kabuto in a direct lie. Rather, he was a master of omission, so to speak.

"When?"

Kabuto grinned.

"Next Thursday, at 7. Eighth and C Street."

The other frowned, still not fully convinced. This situation was fishy. Sasuke still didn't understand why it was so important for Kabuto to have someone "trustworthy" there. Still, he didn't think he was in a position to look a four hundred dollar gift horse in the mouth.

"I'll think about it."

Kabuto tipped his head, taking the money back.

"Whenever you make up your mind, the offer's open."

The two walked towards the door.

"Understood."


	27. Chapter 27

Sasuke hacked into his tissue, holding an icy bag of peas up to his uncomfortably warm forehead. His sickness had waxed and waned over the week, and Sasuke had yet to fully kick the bug. The peas were beginning to thaw, and Sasuke dabbed at the newly forming droplets with a washcloth. Naruto, meanwhile, bounced to the beat of Sasuke’s music while he played Halo on mute. He lay on his stomach, a leg swinging through the air absentmindedly from time to time.

Sasuke’s room was saturated with that unmistakable aroma of sweat and illness. Of course, Naruto looked as rosy as ever. As he’d bragged many times to Sasuke, he had the immune system of a god and practically never got sick. He even thought it wise to gloat about this to Sasuke after he’d spent another ten minutes hugging the toilet, only to receive a firm whack at the base of his skull. Served the dumbass right.

Naruto was eating generic Captain Crunch dry, with a Hot Pocket next in line. Lately, he’d been restricted to such foods as instant ramen and Rice-A-Roni, but that seemed more like a reward to Naruto than a handicap. Sasuke glanced over at Naruto. There had been an awkwardness between them ever since Naruto had found his money under the floorboard.

He had yet to tell Naruto the full story. He tried to hide his concern regarding Itachi’s sickness with limited success. Itachi kept locking his door when he was at his worst, leaving Naruto to overhear some of their communication. Then again, Sasuke worrying over Itachi wasn’t exactly a new thing. Perhaps he’d just let it go, but with Naruto, he could never be sure. When it came to judging people, it seemed like Naruto was either totally oblivious or surprisingly insightful, without much in between.

It was hard sometimes for Sasuke to believe how long Naruto had stayed with him. It had been nearly a month. How had he not been discovered yet? Over that time, Naruto’s face and body had filled out very obviously. His cheekbones were now softened by the generous flesh of his cheeks, and his arms and legs had developed meat. Without fail, he joined Sasuke in his daily exercise routine: pushups, sit-ups, and weights. Sasuke could still do more pushups than him, but dammit, he’d had a head start!

Naruto was still thin, but he was actually beginning to look healthy. Sasuke didn’t like the way he’d burdened Itachi, and he didn’t like what he’d ended up doing to support his family. But knowing that he took Naruto off the streets, tended to his wounds, fed him, protected him, made him _healthy_ … At least Sasuke had done something to feel good about. Naruto took his first bite of the Hot Pocket.

“Aaah! Aaaaaahhh!” he breathed out, quickly fanning his mouth. “Haw! Haaaw!”

It certainly hadn’t been the first time this had happened. And more generally, Naruto didn’t have a problem with speaking with a full mouth. So Sasuke did a fine job deciphering the message.

“Blow on it first, dumbass.”

“Eeeehhh!” Naruto shouted at Sasuke angrily, holding up his middle finger.

Naruto continued to struggle with his food.

“Wan’ any of my Haw Pockeh?” Naruto asked.

Naruto awkwardly shuffled the hot mouthful around his mouth before swallowing it.

“Sasuke, this is why I have trust issues…” Naruto commented, staring at the snack with contempt. “Of course the Hot Pocket makes you _think_ it’s okay to eat. The outside is this warm and inviting pastry crumble, but then take a bite, and it’s like fucking Pompeii in your mouth, and you can almost hear the people on the roof of your mouth screaming and dying, but it’s too late because you just bit into pastry-covered molten _lava_. By the way, want some?”

Sasuke smirked and rolled his eyes at Naruto. As much as he was loathe to admit it, he’d missed these moronic comments, just Naruto in general being light-hearted. After he’d told Naruto where he got the money, Naruto relaxed, even if only a little. But he’d made it clear that he wasn’t giving up on getting Sasuke to end this.

“Again, no.”

“Well…” Naruto shrugged. “Back to the cereal until this culinary hell spawn cools its shit.”

He took another bite of his corn sugar cereal. At least according to Sasuke, that’s what it was.

“Dammit!” Naruto swore at just the right volume to remain undetected. “ _Wonderful_. After the lava comes the _sandpaper_. And this is supposed to be a _children’s_ cereal!”

Naruto didn’t let this stop him. He continued to eat awkwardly with a grimace on his face.

“Want some?” Naruto asked, extending the box to Sasuke, who glanced over.

“You’re a black hole.”

Sasuke didn’t have much of an appetite regardless. His voice came out as more of a croak, and Naruto merely smiled back.

“I like to enjoy the finer things in life, Sasuke. Like Hot Pockets, soda pop, pizza, and instant ramen. Lots and lots of ramen. Oh, and Pop Rocks. They’re like fireworks in your mouth!”

Sasuke groaned. Naruto’s words were beginning to blur together, causing a tight clamp in the back of his skull.

“Shut up. You’re making my head hurt.”

Naruto quietly swore at Sasuke but stopped talking all the same. After a long pause, Sasuke snickered.

“When you first came here, I thought you only ate like that because you’d been starved.”

Naruto lagged a moment. What Sasuke had originally interpreted as the desperation of starvation was actually Naruto’s standard eating habits. Bursting into laughter, Naruto kicked his legs in the air as he shot another alien in the head. He was getting good at this game.

“You’re priceless, Sasuke.”

Sasuke grumbled with a smile on his face - one of the first he’d had all day. Sasuke’s smile caused Naruto to beam, feeling quite accomplished to finally get the sophomore’s lips to upturn. Naruto didn’t know why, but it had been so difficult for Naruto to get a smile out of Sasuke the past several days. It was true that Itachi was pretty sick, and they didn’t have any cash. Sasuke was sick as well, and his “side job” at school seemed to be stressing him out too. It was no wonder he was in poor spirits. As much as he despised what Sasuke was doing, he believed Sasuke when he told him that he hated it just as much.

To Naruto, that was just as puzzling. Sasuke couldn’t even explain why he was doing this, vaguely referring to some reason that he refused to divulge. He couldn’t believe that Sasuke would go down that path again, and on top of it all to try to excuse it. At first, when Sasuke told Naruto that he took no pleasure in this, Naruto wondered if Sasuke was lying – not to Naruto but to himself. But in time, it became clear that he truly did hate it, which in a way concerned Naruto even more.

If not for enjoyment, why _was_ Sasuke doing this? It couldn’t possibly be just for money. Was someone blackmailing Sasuke? Were they in trouble with debt collectors? Was he concerned about being taken away by the state? And what about Itachi? Sasuke seemed awfully influenced by the flu Itachi caught, which in the grand scheme of things didn’t seem like that big of a deal. Then again, Sasuke _had_ freaked out that day Itachi was an hour late to pick him up. Maybe, with all the stress he’d been under, he was losing his rationality and letting anxiety get the best of him.

So was that it? Was Sasuke losing his insight? He remembered the argument he had overheard on one of his first days in the Uchiha household. He remembered Sasuke shouting:

_"If it's so tough for you, why don't you turn me over to the foster care system, huh? Then you can stop feeling sorry for yourself and get rid of me, since I'm such a burden to you."_

Was that what it was? Sasuke felt guilty for not helping Itachi? If so, maybe Sasuke actually needed psychological help, but Sasuke wouldn’t tell Naruto anything. Sasuke was always keeping him at arm’s distance, and sometimes it made him feel resentful. Naruto had bared his soul to Sasuke, but almost everything he knew about Sasuke was revealed against Sasuke’s will. But one thing was clear: Sasuke had yet to come to terms with what had happened to him last year.

On the other hand, Sasuke had never _asked_ Naruto to tell him these things. Never once had he pressured Naruto to do this. Even when it came to Naruto’s scars, Sasuke patiently waited until Naruto was ready and _wanted_ to discuss it. Maybe Naruto just wanted someone to know for once, was sick of carrying this burden himself.

They were two different people. Sometimes it was easy to forget that they had only known each other for a matter of months. They’d been playing house for a while now. But be that as it may, he couldn’t just sit by and watch Sasuke risk his future without even knowing why. Sasuke was his lover, and above all, his best friend.

Again, the sounds of Itachi’s sickness filled his room - muffled retching and heaving. The virus that had been plaguing him lately had only strengthened. Itachi hadn’t been able to eat anything solid for almost two days.

Sasuke’s smile vanished in an instant as Itachi’s situation was so audibly made apparent, replaced by a deep frown that pained Naruto. Sasuke’s stress was obvious to him, though Sasuke went to great lengths to hide it.

“You’re sweeter than you give yourself credit for,” Naruto said with a smile.

“What?”

“Your brother. You worry over him like a mother hen.”

Sasuke clucked his tongue and shook his head.

“You did the same when I was sick,” Sasuke frowned, wishing that Naruto hadn’t been this perceptive.

Naruto huffed.

“I wasn’t worried. You just needed my help, so I gave it to you.”

Sasuke smirked, rolling his eyes.

“Whatever.”

“Hey…” Naruto said, lowering his face down to Sasuke’s and ruffling his hair. “Don’t worry so much. It’s just the stomach flu. He’ll be over it in a week, two weeks max.”

Sasuke turned away, not wanting to look Naruto in the eyes. The uninformed optimism in Naruto’s voice was depressing. How he wished this was truly the case.

“Itachi’s sicker than I was,” Sasuke mumbled.

“Nah, I don’t think so,” Naruto said, leaning into the bed. It made Sasuke feel a little nauseous. “You might not remember how sick you got. You slept all of last Saturday and were really out of it, but you were sick as a dog.”

Sasuke didn’t respond, lying down on the bed again and letting his arms fall to his sides. Naruto lay down beside him, holding his hand and kissing his cheek. Sasuke squeezed back, and he felt comforted. He was enjoying this unspoken understanding, preferred not having to explain. Even if they didn’t speak, and Sasuke didn’t reveal, he still felt close to Naruto.

Naruto glanced over at Sasuke, whose brows were knitted, probably unconsciously. The second time he’d ever hung out with Sasuke, Sasuke’s brother had been one hour late to pick him up. Sasuke’s anxiety and concern for his brother had been obvious. He’d even called Sasuke strange, which he honestly still believed was true. Sasuke was generally such an aloof character. The thought of him caring so much about another human being was a little unsettling, if not endearing.

What was happening now was similar to what had happened on the bench outside of Saint Magdalene’s. Naruto knew where it came from. He was so desperately afraid of losing those few people he had left. Naruto gave his hand an extra squeeze, whispering in his ear.

“We’re both sticking with you, okay? You don’t have to worry about everyone so m-”

Sasuke rolled onto his side, tugging Naruto towards him by the shirt collar. He hesitated for just a second before kissing him, their lips moving alongside each other and their tongues caressing. Their mouths moved slowly, basking in the intimacy. When they parted, Sasuke had this sad smile on his face that made Naruto’s heart stop.

“Don’t go,” Sasuke muttered with a slight quiver.

Naruto felt like someone had squeezed his heart. It was so rare to see this vulnerability in Sasuke. Whether Sasuke was overreacting to Itachi’s sickness or not, he was truly suffering. He knew that Sasuke was thinking about the fire that took his parents’ lives.

“Sasuke…” Naruto muttered, looking into Sasuke’s eyes, usually so dark and impenetrable but now so strangely uncertain. He placed his hand on the side of Sasuke’s head, petting his temple with his thumb. “I’m not going anywhere.”

That tenuous smile emerged on Sasuke’s face again, only for it to be smothered the instant Itachi let out a low groan. Sasuke’s smile was so rare, and he hated watching it vanish from his face. They lay on their sides now, facing each other. Naruto combed his fingers through Sasuke’s hair, holding his body close. Wordlessly, Sasuke rested his head on Naruto’s chest, with Naruto’s hand shielding his face from the room’s light.

“Naruto, there’s something called a labor center about a mile from the house. You walk there, get in at 6 in the morning…”

Naruto nodded, curious.

“They give you 40 bucks at the end of the day. It’s under the counter, and they don’t ask for ID.”

“What?!” Naruto asked, barely catching himself before he shouted, subconsciously distancing himself from Sasuke. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“I just found out today.”

“I’m doing it! No talking me out of it. Finally, it will be so great to finally be helpful!”

Naruto was beaming at Sasuke, and as shitty as Sasuke felt, it comforted him.

“You get that this is risky, right?”

“You’re one to talk,” Naruto scoffed.

Fair enough. He leaned his head forward, allowing their foreheads to lean against each other.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it, sweet cheeks,” Naruto whispered in his ear.

“Moron.”

Naruto grinned, he grabbed Sasuke’s shoulder that faced the ceiling, attempting to roll Sasuke onto his back.

“The hell are you doing?” Sasuke groaned.

“I’m rubbing your back, fussybutt.”

The guy needed it with all of the bullshit going on. If he could even take Sasuke’s mind off of matters for five minutes, it would be worth it. He kneaded the tense flesh of Sasuke’s shoulder.

“I’m fine, Naruto,” Sasuke insisted, staying on his face, facing Naruto.

Naruto rolled his eyes and huffed audibly, making certain that Sasuke would hear him.

“For Christ’s sake, give it a rest. You’re fine, I get it already.”

Sasuke gave a perturbed grunt.

“C’mon, Sasuke. Just relax. It gives me an excuse to touch you.”

Sasuke snickered, which was a welcome change of pace.

“You don’t need an excuse to touch me,” Sasuke answered, and Naruto heard just the slightest hint of seduction lacing his tone.

Naruto came closer to Sasuke, their chests pressing together. He rubbed the tight band on the top of Sasuke’s shoulders, Naruto’s calloused fingertips scratched against Sasuke’s smooth shoulder blades. Pains shot up to Sasuke’s skull and down his spine. As good as his posture was, he always wondered how his muscles managed to get so tight. His shrink told him that Sasuke held far more tension in his body and mind than he was aware of. Whatever the case, Sasuke hadn’t seen her in a while.

Despite his reservations, he acquiesced when Naruto massaged him. He closed his eyes, slumping his body to make Naruto’s job simpler. Naruto would go for the tightest, most painful stretch of muscle and grab the sucker like he was trying to suffocate it in a life or death battle. He would show that knot! It made Sasuke want to claw the sheets, but his pride would not allow him to ask for Naruto to be more “gentle.”

Despite himself, Sasuke winced. Luckily, Naruto noticed this and readjusted his approach. If only for now, he tried to ignore his brother, tried not to think about how much he was suffering and why. Naruto smiled softly as Sasuke leaned into his touch. Sasuke’s eyes slowly closed.

It was rare that someone was able to push through Sasuke’s walls, to help him when he was hurting. He told himself that only the weak needed that. Sasuke was strong. He didn’t need anyone to save him. But perhaps Sasuke wanted someone to transverse that boundary after all. It was a reckless indulgence, but then again, he’d excelled at being reckless lately.

Naruto smiled and kissed the area where Sasuke’s neck met his shoulder - a particularly arousing patch of skin for Sasuke. Sasuke tried to ignore the lustier parts of his brain. It was difficult to do anything sexual in this situation. Sasuke was profoundly exhausted, and the ambient noise wasn’t exactly appealing.

The hours passed, and midnight dawned. The noises came and went, but the intensity only seemed to mount. A couple hours ago Sasuke had tried to gain access into Itachi’s room. True to form, the noises quieted as soon as Sasuke’s presence had been made known to Itachi, only to resume soon after Sasuke returned to his bedroom.

He had never heard Itachi sound so horrible before. It was loud and steady over the next several minutes, and suddenly...silence. Sasuke’s body began to tingle lightly with anxiety. This wasn’t normal. He cast an apprehensive gaze over at Naruto, who had pursed his lips. Even he looked perplexed. Sasuke left approaching Itachi’s door.

“‘Tachi!”

He had to yell to ensure that he was heard, which seemed to make his voice drop half an octave as it cracked conspicuously. Yelling was quite a difficult task for Sasuke right now, but it was necessary.

“Hey! You okay in there?”

What was happening? Itachi had to be weak at this point. How could anyone vomit that much for hours and not be? He needed someone to take care of him. Suddenly, Sasuke heard a thud.

Naruto watched with growing concern. This was bad. Sasuke hammered his fist down on the door, the wood rattling against its frame. Now was no time for courtesy.

“Itachi? Itachi!”

Nothing.

Several more loud bangs to the door, which Sasuke finished off with a heavy thud as the sole of his foot connected with the finished wood.

“Itachi, if you don’t open this door _right now_ , I’m kicking it down.”

…

“I’m not joking. I will seriously kick this door down if you don’t answer on the count of three.”

He felt the need to clarify. They did not have the money to repair a broken door, but he had no idea what had happened in there. Perhaps time was of the essence. Naruto poked his head out of their door, staring at the other in confusion and worry.

Sasuke silently mouthed, “Go away.”

The Uchiha swallowed, trying to keep his irritated throat moist so that he could continue to shout.

“Three.”

What awaited him behind those doors? At the start, Itachi had done his best to keep Sasuke from thinking that the word “cancer” was a big deal. He kept emphasizing that it was caught so early, that it would easily be fixed by a surgery. But the more Itachi padded his words, the more nervous Sasuke became.

“Two.”

A sick part of him was tempted to walk away, to ignore what was happening. At that moment, his stress felt like a physical weight, compressing his organs like a vice. Nonetheless, this was a burden he must bear for his brother. He could not afford to be negligent here. He _would_ do whatever was in his power to keep him safe.

“One.”

He didn’t _want_ to kick the door down. What would he see? Would this be like the time he stood over his father’s hospital bed, his jaw literally dropped in shock? Was Itachi alright? _Would_ he be alright?

Sasuke’s stomach turned to ice cubes and his bones to splinters. He was scared. Itachi was alright. He was fine. He was just tired. Maybe he was taking a nap. Everything was fine. Sasuke’s heart was loud and abrupt as it beat. This was no time for cowardice. His body coursed with adrenaline. Sasuke channeled it into his leg as his foot collided with the door, a loud slam resonating throughout the house.

This wasn’t as easy as it looked in the movies, the door denting but still mostly intact. However, one more kick was enough to gain entrance. Naruto couldn’t help himself, peering through a small crack in the door as Itachi’s door propelled backwards and splintered against the wall.

Sasuke ran over the course of the floor, Itachi’s bed uncharacteristically unmade and askew. He took only an instant to make it to the bathroom. The bathroom door was wide open, Itachi lying on his back with a pool of his own vomit in front of him. Out of his mouth had come...red.

Blood. A lot of blood. Itachi’s eyes were closed, his ribcage dramatically moving up and down as he took deep and slow breaths. Blood flowed down from Itachi’s blue lips and nostrils.

For an instant, Sasuke was paralyzed. He suddenly felt so distant from the situation, as if he were watching a film. His mind seemed intent on taking in the details of the situation before Sasuke could continue. He didn’t want to take in the details. He didn’t want to see any of this. He didn’t want to remember it. He just wanted Itachi to be alright. As long as this was the case, Sasuke would have no complaints.

Was Itachi conscious? Sasuke rolled Itachi over to his side so that he wouldn’t suffocate should he become sick again. He rustled Itachi’s body.

“Itachi? Itachi!”

Itachi’s body was limp. He was tempted to be a little rougher with Itachi in hopes that it would awaken him, but he feared injuring him in the process.

“Itachi, you need to wake up,” Sasuke said urgently, his throat threatening to choke his words.

God, Sasuke felt... Sick. He felt so cold, the muscles of his chest cavity contorting acutely with anxiety. Could this really be happening? He’d worried about something like this, yes. But nothing could have prepared him for this moment. He remembered this feeling. It was the exact feeling he’d experienced when he saw his father as he lay dying. Please, not again. Not Itachi too.

“I-Itachi...”

Far too familiar.

He couldn’t wake Itachi up... At least not this way. Sasuke ran into his room, his frenzied footsteps clamoring through the upper floor. Naruto turned to Sasuke quickly as the boy darted in, his face conveying absolute shock. Sasuke grabbed his cell phone, pivoting on the balls of his feet as he ran back towards Itachi’s bedroom.

“Sasuke? What’s going-”

But Sasuke was gone before Naruto could finish his question. In fact, Sasuke hadn’t even heard him. All of his senses were focused on finding that cell phone, not wasting a split second on the way. He didn’t remember his body moving. Suddenly he was back at his brother’s side, and his cell phone was there. He called 911. His body operated automatically, no movement inefficient.

Itachi hadn’t stirred since Sasuke had found him. The instant it took for the operator to answer seemed to take minutes. Time stretched endlessly as he took whatever actions he needed to promote Itachi’s safety. Even Sasuke’s body seemed to move too slowly, though Naruto would definitely disagree with that.

“I need an ambulance. It’s urgent.”

Naruto had followed Sasuke quietly, peeking his head anxiously around the door frame.

“Holy shit...”

Sasuke made no sign of noticing Naruto’s presence. The boy’s jaw dropped at he stared at the gruesome scene, and for a moment he felt removed from the solution completely, as if it were fiction. It was too horrible to be reality. How the hell had this happened?

Sasuke would have told Naruto to leave, would’ve told him that this was a private matter. Maybe he would’ve been been embarrassed that Naruto was witnessing such a dramatic moment of his family life. He would’ve probably done and felt all of these things if he had even noticed that Naruto was there.

“What’s the nature of the emergency?” inquired a composed, female voice from his cell phone.

“My brother has stomach cancer and contracted the stomach flu. He started vomiting several hours ago, and there’s blood in it. He lost consciousness approximately one minute ago.”

For how quickly his heart was beating, his voice sounded eerily calm, even to himself. It was almost robotic.

But Naruto… _This?_ Sasuke had kept _this_ from him? If only he had known, maybe he could have helped. Financially, he was limited, but he could have been there for Sasuke. He was Sasuke’s lover and his best friend. Yet Sasuke still chose to shoulder this burden alone.

Everything made sense. Sasuke’s anxiety, his insistence on selling drugs… If Itachi being an hour late to pick him up caused him to become anxious, how heavily would his brother having cancer affect him? Naruto felt tears prick his eyes as he realized that quite unfortunately, Sasuke _hadn’t_ been overreacting.

Sasuke truly was in danger of losing his last remaining family member, and Naruto could do nothing to console him. He had no idea that Sasuke had been suffering so much, and it made him sick to his stomach. Why hadn’t Sasuke told him? Now, he so clearly remembered the fragile way in which Sasuke had just spoken the words, “Don’t go.”

“Expect an ambulance in three to five minutes. Stay with your brother. Lay him on his side. Are you alright?”

“Yes,” Sasuke answered. “Is there anything else I can do for him until the ambulance gets here?”

“Just stay with him.”

How could three minutes take so long? After he’d hung up the phone, he finally noticed Naruto’s presence. He stared at the ground before responding.

“How long have you been here?”

“Since you called 911.”

So Naruto knew now, and there was nothing he could do about it. Once again, his secrets found fit to reveal themselves. But he hadn’t expected the relief he felt, knowing that someone else now shared his secret. Naruto knew. He didn’t have to hide from him anymore.

This was one hell of a way to “meet” Sasuke’s brother. His long hair, ordinarily so neat, was tangled and strewn about the floor. He was pale. Sasuke held the back of his hand up to Itachi’s forehead, which was hot to the touch.

Naruto sat beside Sasuke, putting his hand on the base of Sasuke’s skull and tilting his head towards Naruto’s shoulder. Sasuke resisted, keeping their bodies apart. He knew that if he allowed Naruto to comfort him, he would crumble. He would no longer think efficiently and promptly. He could decompress later. Right now he needed to be fully alert.

“It’s alright, Naruto,” Sasuke calmly lied, without a hint of distress in his voice. “Unlock the front door so the paramedics can get in.”

Naruto nodded, solemnly descending the steps and unlocking the front door. Before returning to Sasuke’s side, he stood by the doorway. Tears brimmed in his eyes, now trailing down his cheeks, and he slammed the outside of his hand, clenched in a fist, against the wall.

Sasuke had lost his parents just one year ago, and now his brother was in such danger? How the hell could this be happening? It seemed like a sick joke, and what killed Naruto was how badly Sasuke had to be hurting right now. He wanted to hold Sasuke tight in his arms, make it all go away. Just the way that Sasuke had taken Naruto off the streets and completely turned his life around, even if only for a few months. This wasn’t fair. Sasuke had suffered enough.

Quickly, Naruto composed himself. If Sasuke could keep his cool in this situation, like hell would he falter. He wiped the tears from his face and swallowed tight, making his way up the stairs. He prepared himself as he returned to Itachi’s bedroom, knowing what awaited him. He returned to the room, and even in the brief time he’d left, he’d forgotten how alarming the sight was. He sat beside Sasuke, resting his hand on his shoulder. Wordlessly, Sasuke leaned against him.

They sat beside each other quietly as the minutes passed without moving. This was not the time for words and explanations, but both of them felt so close to each other. There was a loud knock at the door as it opened, a set of three paramedics walking up the stairs and entering the bathroom. Sasuke and Naruto stood back as they lowered the stretcher and lifted Itachi onto it, a few long strands of Itachi’s hair straying off of the stretcher as it was jerked upward.

“Are you two his brothers?” the paramedic asked.

Sasuke shook his head.

“No, this is my boyfriend.”

In the state of mind he was in now, lying didn’t even occur to Sasuke. He felt guilty for being pleased by this as Itachi lay on his stretcher, in mortal peril. This was the first time he’d heard Sasuke call him his boyfriend publicly. Of course, it wasn’t like they’d had a lot of opportunities. It felt wonderful that someone knew, even if this someone was a random paramedic that neither would probably see again.

“We can only fit one in the ambulance.”

Sasuke nodded.

“I figured. Naruto, if I call, the phone will ring twice. I’ll hang up and call twenty seconds later. Keep the phone by you and answer if I call.”

“Alright, Sasuke.”

He was, frankly, in awe. Sasuke had walked in on quite a scene. He didn’t shout, yell, cry, sigh, or even frown. He worked quickly and efficiently, almost as if he’d been trained for such situations specifically. He had always guessed that Sasuke would be the sort to keep his head under crisis. He would, indeed, make a magnificent doctor. Even Naruto felt more panicked than Sasuke appeared.

Of course, Naruto had no idea what thoughts and anxieties were crashing between Sasuke’s ears. As he followed the paramedics, felt a strong wave of nausea brew everywhere from below his throat to above his pelvis. His head swam with fever, thankfully low grade enough for him to function through.

Naruto followed Sasuke and the paramedics as they walked out to the ambulance, rolling Itachi’s stretcher into the back. Before Sasuke climbed into the back with Itachi, Naruto hugged him tightly.

“Sasuke, I’m so sorry. Be strong,” he said, their foreheads against each other.

“I will.”

“I love you,” Naruto told him quietly.

Despite everything, Sasuke hitched. After an instant's hesitation, Sasuke gave him a brief kiss before quietly parting and getting into the ambulance. The door shut, and all Naruto could do from here on out was wait and hope.

They hooked Itachi up to a slew of machines. They fitted Itachi with an IV, flushed his veins with saline, and placed a cannula in his nose. They collected information about Itachi’s medical history, his medication schedule, and their family history from Sasuke.

Itachi’s body temperature had shot up to 106 degrees. When would he wake up? What was happening in Itachi’s stomach? When he woke up, would he be okay? Was this all because he hadn’t had his surgery yet? Perhaps the most pressing, what would Sasuke do about this? Was there anything he _could_ do?

Luckily, the hospital was near his house. He spent the entire ambulance ride either explaining Itachi’s medical and family history or staring restlessly at Itachi and his monitors. He paid special attention to his heartbeat. It was depressed, tinkering around the low thirties. He bit his lip as the number of the machine dipped into the twenties for the first time, only to soon after shoot up into the nineties and fall down to the thirties yet again. Sasuke didn’t know what he’d do with himself if that number ever reached zero.

The ambulance door opened. Itachi’s stretcher was promptly removed, and the wheels hit the ground. They approached the back of the ER. Itachi’s stretcher remained motionless as two paramedics held back one of the double doors each. Sasuke was close by Itachi’s side.

“We’ll take him from here,” the paramedics told Sasuke.

“What?”

“You can’t come back here. The waiting room is that door, over there. If there’s any news, we’ll let you know.”

Sasuke stood wordlessly, fighting the urge to cling on to the stretcher for dear life. No, he had to be there for every moment. He had to watch. He couldn’t let Itachi out of his sight. Anything could happen, then. Yet Sasuke knew that he would be every bit as helpless next to Itachi as he would be in a waiting room. This was typical procedure. If only for a little while, he had to say goodbye to his brother.

Sasuke reached down, grabbing Itachi’s only free hand tightly. Despite Itachi’s fever, it was so cold. Sasuke’s hands were warm, palms sweating. Could Itachi feel it, even now? He let go quickly, hoping that no one had noticed. For what could be the last time, he stared at Itachi intently as he was taken through the two white doors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit has officially hit the fan. Let me know what you think. Lovin' everyone's reviews!
> 
> I probably won't be posting next week, because I'm going on a huge road trip, Grand Canyon and a bunch of other stuff. But I'll be back soon!


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!
> 
> Yeah, I know I told you guys I wouldn't be able to post this week. I'm writing this from a Motel 6 in Flagstaff, AZ, about an hour from the Grand Canyon. I found it within the cold recesses of my heart to tinker around over the week and put you out of your misery.
> 
> But don't worry, there will be plenty more to follow. :)

“Dr. Hutchinson, report to the ER. Dr. Hutchinson, to the ER.”

A calm voice echoed through the hospital’s main waiting room over the PA system. The seats were tolerable, thin padding separating Sasuke’s tailbone from the unforgiving wooden seats. Regardless, his spine and neck had begun to ache, sensitized by his illness. The walls were a stark white, which bore into Sasuke’s fever-plagued brain and caused him to knead at the bridge of his nose. The room was laden with the scent of hospital-grade disinfectant, which stung Sasuke’s nostrils as the hours passed. The door leading to the hospital floor was closed, but the window to the hallway showed nurses pacing briskly from time to time.

Prior to this, Sasuke had sat in the ER waiting room, rigid and with perfect posture, for nearly three hours. At times, it was difficult to comprehend how three hours could last so long. Other times, the minute hand seemed to leap without warning. As dawn approached, the soft glow of the concealed sun dimly wafted through the windows. His face was expressionless, and for all the room’s other occupants knew, he could’ve been there for a sprain.

He had recently returned to the hospital’s main waiting room, yawning and rubbing at his eye sockets. He had yet to get a clear answer regarding his brother’s prospects from anyone. He remembered this place, this hospital... It had not been the fondest memory. His mind ran over the same questions incessantly, none of which he could answer. Therefore, he muted all thought, simply waiting. Just as he resisted Naruto’s touch, he could not give into his anxieties now.

His chest felt tight, and his breathing threatened to quicken. His hands sweat, and he was tempted to fiddle with the sleeve of his jacket. He calmed himself, counting each nurse that walked by the window over the hours. There had been 212. He had been in the hospital for 234 minutes, which was 14,040 seconds, give or take a few he’d just used to do the calculations in his head. That meant that, on average, he saw a nurse every 67 seconds. This next nurse, however, came in 42, and the one before that had come in 34. This must be a busy time for the hospital. Why? Sasuke found that his breathing had returned to normal, and his pulse had normalized.

Finally, a woman approached Sasuke, her long blond hair falling upon her noticeably large breasts, and...were those high heeled shoes? What kind of hospital employee wore high heels to work? As preoccupied as he was, he found himself wondering if those enormous flesh bags on the woman’s chest were even real. What a bimbo...

A pronounced tap elicited as the soles of her shoes hit the tile with each step. It took all of Sasuke’s discipline to stay in his seat. He did his best to keep his body posture calm, waiting until the woman was several feet in front of him to stand and take several comfortable steps towards her.

“You’re Sasuke, right? Uchiha Itachi’s brother?”

Sasuke nodded, his voice slightly impatient.

“Yes, I am. When can I speak with the doctor? I’ve been here for four hours and haven’t gotten any news.”

The woman crossed her arms and cast a steely glare down at Sasuke. She wouldn’t have ordinarily surpassed him in height, but those shoes gave her an unfair advantage.

“You will refer to me as _Doctor_ Sannin.”

Sasuke stared at the doctor in disbelief for a couple seconds. _This_ was the person who had been trusted with Itachi’s life? God, it would be a miracle if he was still alive.

“Whatever. What’s his status?”

Brown eyes flashed with annoyance, the woman obviously practicing self-restraint. She hesitated, staring Sasuke up and down. Yes, Sasuke looked young. But he could handle the truth, whether the doctor realized this or not.

“Are your parents here?”

When would this woman get to the punch? The suspense was excruciating. Why was she biting her tongue? His thoughts fixated on the worst case scenario. Was she waiting to gather the family? Sasuke paused.

“No, they’re on vacation.”

He didn’t want hospital workers or social workers interfering when he tried to go home. He didn’t want them trying to “place” him, should anything happen to Itachi. Though they were bound to figure it out eventually, he’d save himself the hassle for now. He’d had his fill after his parents died, when social workers had tried to wrestle him out of Itachi’s possession. Of course, his brother was sharp. They didn’t get very far.

The doctor smiled at Sasuke, sighing before continuing. Sasuke’s heart jumped up his throat. He dreaded hearing what was to come, yet he wanted to be put out of his misery.

“You saved your brother’s life, Sasuke.”

The teen stared back mutely. Itachi was alive. Barely?

“He could’ve died?”

The doctor nodded.

“Sasuke, if you hadn’t found him, he would’ve been dead by morning. Thanks to your vigilance, his prospects are much brighter.”

Sasuke already knew that the situation had been very dire, but he had just been whacked over the head with the fact. For several seconds, Sasuke’s brain had ceased function. He searched for words, shock temporarily paralyzing him. He couldn’t process this. He had come so incredibly close. _“He would’ve been dead by morning.”_   It stuck between his ears, refusing to be erased.

“So...is he going to be okay?” Sasuke asked quietly, his voice hoarse.

At Sasuke’s tone, Dr. Sannin’s austere features began to soften. She nodded, continuing, “The worst is over now. He was acutely dehydrated, and the vomiting had irritated his stomach lining, which had already been inflamed. The bleeding, the fever, and the dehydration combined are what caused him to pass out. Now that he’s receiving fluids, and we’ve stopped the vomiting, his condition is stable.”

Sasuke nodded silently, accepting what the woman said.

“What do we do from here?”

The doctor now established direct eye contact, sternly gazing at him.

“He needs to get that tumor removed. It was bad luck that your brother got such a horrible bug now. It’s damaged the surrounding tissue, so the area’s very swollen and inflamed.”

Sasuke sighed, his eyes averting. If the staff hadn’t been aware of their financial situation, he sure as hell didn’t want to educate them. The woman seemed to read Sasuke’s thoughts.

“We’re aware that there’s a billing issue, but given the urgency of the situation, we’ll proceed regardless. Since most of Itachi’s weakness is due to dehydration and his elevated body temperature rather than tumor growth, we’re going to wait for him to strengthen before the surgery. We should be able to operate within the next one to two weeks.”

Despite the situation, Sasuke was relieved. Finally, Itachi would be forced to get that surgery he’d been so desperately needing. He never seemed to know Itachi’s state. Itachi kept it from Sasuke, and he wouldn’t let him in the damned room when he was at his worst. But now that he was being monitored by the hospital. He couldn’t lock himself away anymore.

“What’s his prognosis post-surgery?”

Sasuke was quickly coming into his own, shock subsiding. He was once again composed, or at least doing a damned good impression of such. He didn’t know when he’d be able to speak to one of Itachi’s doctors next, so he’d cover his questions now. Now was no time for stunned silence.

“The cancer has barely progressed since his last scan on record, so his prospects are good.”

Sasuke nodded slowly.

“What are his chances?”

A frown.

“We’ll do the best we can. It is extremely rare to diagnose stomach cancer this early, but it is one of the deadliest cancers out there.”

Sasuke wasn’t appeased.

“I could’ve gotten that off of Google. I understand if you can’t give exact number, but what’s your ballpark estimation?”

“Sasuke, this is a complicated situation, and there are a lot of variables,” Dr. Sannin answered, trying to hide her frustration with limited success. “It’s difficult to put a number on this.”

The doctor’s words were vague and meatless, and they left far too much up to the imagination. Sasuke knew that his mind would gravitate towards the pessimistic. It was something he realized and attempted to correct, but persistence could only go so far. He needed to _understand_ , to know exactly what he was dealing with.

“But I _need_ a number!” Sasuke answered, desperation working its way into his tone. Quickly composing himself, Sasuke stared towards the tile floor. “All I want to know is how likely it is that I’m going to lose him.”

Some compassion had worked its way onto the doctor’s face, and she had slowly gone from stern to empathetic. Sasuke was scared. Perhaps she could tell.

“Listen… Because we don’t often catch stomach cancer in patients this early, there isn’t a great deal of information on this. The numbers I’m going to give you are a very rough estimation.”

“Understood,” Sasuke answered, hiding his irritation. God, would she just give him an answer already?

“I’d say he has a two out of three chance of making it five years, give or take,” she said, looking directly into Sasuke’s eyes.

One out of three. Itachi had told him one out of five. He guessed he could look at this two ways. Fortunately, it was more likely than not that Itachi would survive. However… One out of three? The probability of Itachi’s survival was hardly better than a coin toss, and Sasuke did not like those odds when they applied to someone so important to him.

Sasuke nodded, taking the information in stride. What could he do about it now?

The doctor extended him a business card. “Dr. Tsunade Sannin” the card read, in clear font and raised black ink. It was set upon a white background with the hospital’s logo.

“Here, have my card. If you or your parents have any questions, call me.”

Sasuke found that he had little else to say.

“He should be waking up now. Would you like to see him?”

Sasuke nodded before Tsunade had even finished her sentence, causing her to smile back.

“They’ve moved him to room 427. Take those elevators. But be warned, he’s a little...”

Sasuke turned towards the elevators, wasting no time. Finally, Itachi would be back in his sight. He worried that he might never get to see Itachi again, might never be able to speak another word to him. He _had_ to see him now, feeling as though his brother might vanish should he delay.

“You’re welcome,” Tsunade called after him, tsk’ing under her breath.

“Yeah, thanks,” Sasuke answered obligatorily. If Tsunade was on Itachi’s treatment team, Sasuke should probably keep things civil with her. Still, his mind was somewhere else.

On the way up, two wheelchairs and one elderly woman _slowly_ entered and exited the elevator. After what seemed like forever, he reached his floor. He moved briskly down the halls, his mind returning to all the wrong places. Although his father had been kept on a different floor, the floor and the nurse’s station had the exact same layout. All of the uniforms were the same, and the scent of disinfectant on the floor was identical. As pleased as he was that Itachi was on the mend, he couldn’t stop the barrage of memories flooding his mind. He hadn’t been to the hospital since that day, and unfortunately, it didn’t look much different.

The hospital staff had warned him that he would not look like the father Sasuke once knew. His flesh would be burned, his body would be deformed, and his mind would be dulled by painkillers. They had tried to get Sasuke to sit down, to give him a glass of water before entering.

But Sasuke had known that time was precious. He would allow nothing to delay him from seeing his father. He promptly traversed the hospital halls alongside a sympathetic nurse. Just a couple months past fourteen, the boy believed that he could handle whatever waited in his father’s hospital room. What he saw that day would be the subject of his nightmares for months, and probably for the rest of his life.

No one else, other than the hospital workers, saw his father before he died - not even Itachi. There was no one he could discuss it with, and he had never spoken of it, even with his brother. The staff had told him that his father’s health was on the brink, between life and death. The same had been true for Itachi last night. Sasuke supposed that these sorts of things could go either way. Today, he was serendipitously much luckier than he had been one year ago. His father had died, while Itachi had lived. But would Itachi survive? That was another question entirely.

He heard the machines before he even entered. The floor was made of hardwood, and a drawn window sat directly above Itachi’s head. Though the room smelled of hospitals and illness, Sasuke was pleased to see that Itachi looked much better than he had in the ambulance. His head was elevated slightly, leaning haphazardly to the right. It lifted ever so slightly when Itachi noticed Sasuke in the room.

Some color had returned to his cleaned face, though he was surrounded by a sea of beeping machines and winding tubes. His oxygen tubes snaked from his septum, across his lean chest, and up into the wall, twisting with several tubes connecting to Itachi’s veins. Itachi’s morphine pump hissed every several minutes as it mercifully dulled Itachi’s pain with a few cc’s of medicine. Itachi’s eyes, half lidded, dragged over to Sasuke’s face. A slight smile graced badly chapped lips.

“What’s this I heard about my little brother saving my life?”

Sasuke was now able to smile for the first time tonight. It was wide and was born without Sasuke’s permission. The sky was a bluish pink, the sun edging closer to the horizon by the minute.

“Good morning, asshole. You scared the shit out of me.”

Itachi smiled as tears began to fall down his cheeks shamelessly.

“Sasuke, I’m so sorry...”

Sasuke shook his head quickly. Shit, he hadn’t actually expected Itachi to take him seriously. Sasuke suspected that this was the effect of the morphine. He could tell from the instant Itachi opened his eyes that he was quite drugged. This was probably for the best.

“Relax, I’m teasing. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

But Itachi continued, “S’suke, you smell like...rotten pizza and cat piss. What’s wrong with your shirt? How’d it get so dirty?”

Sasuke sighed, eyeing him sarcastically, “Yes, I wonder.”

“But it was your favorite shirt...” Itachi slurred. “That day at the beach, when Dad wouldn’t let you have a hamburger, so I bought you...”

Itachi’s eyes drifted off.

“I don’t understand.”

Sasuke blinked.

“What don’t you understand?”

“I don’t understand...I am certain, or _reasonably_ certain that I heard Kesha today. Why I would hear Kesha while I’m in a room with white coats? That doesn’t make sense to me. It’s a very big problem.”

Sasuke couldn’t help but chuckle under his breath, regardless of today’s calamity. His brother, always so dignified and intelligent... This must’ve been what Tsunade had tried to warn him about.

“Why is it such a big problem?”

“Because...”  Tears began to flow from Itachi’s eyes again as his lower lip quivered. “Cuz I don’t _like_ Kesha! Why would they do this to me? I don’t understand!”

Sasuke snorted, muffling a laugh and striving to look reassuring. Why would they have Kesha playing in such a situation, anyway? It struck the younger Uchiha as awfully unprofessional. Unless, of course, Itachi had imagined it. Or maybe it was someone’s ringtone... Anyhow, enough of that.

“Easy, easy,” Sasuke told Itachi gently, pinning a long strand of hair behind his ear.

“It was the song with the clocks!”

“No more Kesha for you.” Sasuke wiped several of Itachi’s tears away with his thumbs, very gingerly. “I’ll make sure of it.”

Itachi smiled wide, his eyes barely able to express his gratitude. He reached out for Sasuke, wincing from the pain as his IV caught on the rail of his bed. Sasuke lightly grabbed his arm and placed it back down.

“Thank you, Sasuke. Thank you so much. You are the _best_ brother I’ve ever had.”

Sasuke raised his brows, responding flatly, “I’m the _only_ brother you’ve ever had. And stay still, or you’ll hurt yourself.”

“No no, I may not always agree with you, S’suke. Not always. But ya know what? I agree with you now. Really, I do wholeheartedly. There are only one of you, which is why you’re so great. Imagine if there was two of you! Like an identical twin, or maybe a clone? ...Oh no.”

Sasuke glanced over at the morphine pump skeptically.

“Christ. How much morphine do they have you on?”

“Not enough,” Itachi replied dryly.

Sasuke couldn’t help but snicker.

“S’suke... Sasuke, I’m sorry.”

Sasuke shook his head.

“There’s nothing to apologize about.”

“I was keepin’ you away. I thought I could handle it.”

Sasuke was motionless, staring at his brother for several seconds. He was sure that if Naruto were present, he would’ve said that this ran in the family.

“Promise me you won’t do that anymore.”

“Mmn…” Itachi muttered.

“If you die on me, it will all backfire.”

Itachi frowned, the insides of his eyebrows raising.

“I wanted to wait… Tutoring was paying good... And I had extra time, so before I got the surgery, I wanted to get some money to live on, and for both of us to get by. I just...didn’t know I was gonna get such a bad bug and react like this. It woulda been fine, S’suke.”

Sasuke tried to curb his frustration. He’d risked his entire future to make sure that Itachi was safe, and here Itachi was putting himself in this sort of danger? Of course, Itachi had no way of knowing what Sasuke was up to. He was working at St. Magdalene’s, after all.

Maybe it was true. Maybe Itachi could’ve gone on for weeks, or even a couple months months if he’d not gotten so horribly sick. But Itachi had been taking risks with his life. The fact that they sat in this hospital room was proof of that. Itachi could’ve _died_ , and for what? Financial security? Yet Itachi was in no place to endure the full extent of Sasuke’s aggravation right now.

He couldn’t help but feel like their efforts works against each other’s. Though it was true that after his surgery, money would be sparse. They wouldn’t be able to afford Itachi’s medication and care, and since Sasuke was just fifteen, he probably would have been taken by the state. Itachi would have assumed that Sasuke could raise some change, but how much was he really capable of at his age? Apparently much more than Itachi was aware of.

“Itachi...”  Sasuke sighed again, rubbing the space between his eyebrows. “For being such a genius, you can be really fucking stupid sometimes.”

“Mn... ‘M supposed to be the one telling you that.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, mildly frustrated that Itachi was able to zing him regardless of how much morphine was running through his veins. He was angered by what he had learned, because he feared for his brother’s life. He was concerned, and it seemed like in his case, nothing could piss him off so adeptly as concern.

He knew that Itachi had been sugarcoating the truth. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time Itachi had shut him out. After all the shit they’d endured together, why couldn’t Itachi just be honest with him? Then again, Sasuke wasn’t being honest with him either, but this was on an entirely different level of significance.

“You could’ve died. Your life is more important than our standard of living. You need to tell me these things.”

“I know. What was I thinking?!” Itachi’s eyes widened, and Sasuke couldn’t help but admit that it was endearing.

But then, tears were again falling down Itachi’s cheeks. These, however, hurt Sasuke much worse.

“I’m sorry, Sasuke... I’m sorry... I didn’t want you to worry, but instead I put you through hell. Please forgive me.”  Itachi winced in pain as his heart rate increased, clutching his stomach lightly. “I’m sorry...”

“Hush, ‘Tachi.”  Sasuke leaned over, petting his sweat-sheened forehead lightly and slowly. “It’s okay. We’re going to be fine.”

He was lying now too.

“Sorry... I’m sorry...”

“You can make it up to me.”

Itachi stared back at Sasuke, dumbfounded.

“How could I ever make up for this?”

“After you get better, you’re going to take me to the beach…  And you’re going to buy me a new shirt.”


	29. Chapter 29

The brothers only spoke for several more minutes until Itachi drifted off. Sasuke remained there for an hour, watching Itachi closely. His brother’s chest expanded and shrunk with each breath, and Sasuke’s mind tormented him with the vision of his brother lying there, cold and stiff, his chest permanently stilled. He tried to ignore it, just then realizing that he had yet to give Naruto an update.

He stood outside of Itachi’s door. Just as they’d discussed, Sasuke rang the phone once, hung up, and redialed in twenty seconds. The first ring hadn’t even ended by the time he heard Naruto’s voice over the line.

“Sasuke…”

Naruto’s voice was full of concern, and Sasuke could hear the anxiety in it.

“He’s okay for now,” Sasuke quickly told him. “He’s asleep.”

“Thank God…” Naruto breathed out. “Fuck, that was crazy.”

No shit, Sasuke thought to himself.

“Yeah.”

“How are you doing, bastard?”

Despite the insult, Naruto’s voice sounded sweet.

“I’m fine,” Sasuke answered blankly.

There was a pause over the line.

“How can you possibly be fine?”

Sasuke sighed, sounding irritated when he answered Naruto. Sasuke was doing what he had to do. Couldn’t Naruto stop nitpicking?

“I know how to deal with these things,” Sasuke said gruffly.

Because he was strong, he could withstand this. He had utmost faith in himself, and he wouldn’t be so foolish as to lag behind and lick his wounds. He wouldn’t indulge himself. People were relying on him; now was no time for weakness.

“Okay…” Naruto answered, sounding unconvinced. “Take care of yourself.”

“Of course. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“See you.”

Naruto sounded like he didn’t want Sasuke to leave.

“Yeah,” Sasuke replied. Then he hung up.

He stayed with Itachi for another two hours. The nurses told Sasuke that he would likely sleep through most of the day. Sasuke had originally planned to camp out by Itachi’s bedside, but the hospital staff reassured Sasuke that Itachi would only recover over the next several days. Rather than wearing himself down at the hospital, he should go home and rest. Sasuke reluctantly supposed they were correct.

This wasn’t a sprint to the finish line. Itachi would need him over the next several weeks. Besides, he would be of much more use to Itachi selling than he would be sitting in a hospital waiting room while Itachi slept.

By the time he got home, the sun had almost ventured completely out from behind the hill. The house was still dark, light enough to navigate around but too dark to read by. It would appear that Naruto had either fallen asleep with the phone or had just decided to remain upstairs. Slowly, moving as if zombified, Sasuke pulled out the chair of the kitchen table and plunked down. Only then did he realize how profoundly tired he was. He rested his face in his palm and clenched his teeth.

Suddenly, his vision began to blur. He brought his thumb to his eye to remove the intruding matter, only to find that it came back wet. His throat, already red with irritation, tightened. Warm drops began to stream down his cheek, back to back. What the hell? This wasn’t like him. He was better than this.

How had this happened so quickly? He wasn’t in public anymore. In the only calm he’d had since the chaos of last night, everything rushed to the surface. Sasuke swallowed hard, clenching his jaws and trying to suppress his body.

“Stop it,” he whispered to himself, his voice choked off by his tight throat.

Staring down, he watched one tear drop after another fall upon the tabletop. He bit his tongue, hoping the pain would break this meaningless cycle, wishing that his body would just cooperate and _stop_. He held his hand over his eyes. His chest felt like it was clenching around something sharp.

“ _Dammit,_ ” Sasuke hissed, his voice low.

What if he had gone to bed early that night? He’d even considered that, hoping that it would knock out his own fever. What if he’d slept through the noises? His mind vividly pictured the sight of him kicking down his brother’s door, only to find him dead in a pool of his own vomit and blood. He would have died, just like his parents had last year. Just like that, Sasuke would be alone.

In his head, he heard his own voice, almost as clearly as if it had been spoken. It told him, “Get it together, already! What the hell are you doing? Stop being so damned _useless_.”

Yes, his brother had nearly died. Just this once, by fickle chance, Sasuke had _saved_ him. But what now? What was he doing to change anything? All he could do is just sit in his kitchen and cry like a helpless child, hoping that fate would smile on his family this time. Pathetic.

He didn’t want to touch his phone. He didn’t want to see those messages again, but he remembered the sight of the screen so clearly that he might as well have looked just now.

 _“Your father and I love you very much. Be safe.”_

His shoulders bounced as he cried as quietly as he could. He felt embarrassed for his tears, even in the privacy of his own mind. He wasn’t supposed to cry. He would never be so weak and sentimental. Even when his parents died, he’d only shed tears a couple of times. Even the _sound_ of it, just a quiet sniff or a hitched breath, was pitiful and small. Yet as much as he despised it, he couldn’t stop. At least he had found the strength to stay so quiet.

Footsteps approached him, and it felt as though all of his organs had plummeted. _No one_ was supposed to see him like this. Of course, he knew who it was. It had to be him.

He supposed that this was fate’s way of paying him back for that time he found Naruto on Eighth and J, his face bruised and beaten. He knew now how Naruto must’ve felt. Sasuke still had bits of vomit and blood on his shirt, coughing every few minutes through his soft crying. The cerulean of Naruto’s concerned eyes wouldn’t leave his body. So he did whatever he could to make himself look at least slightly less pathetic. He dried his eyes, and did his best to sound angry rather than distressed.

“What the hell is _wrong_ with you? Why don’t you just turn the lights on like any normal person?” Sasuke attempted to shout, trying to keep his voice low. But his raw vocal chords refused to cooperate. “You’re clumsy enough already!”

Naruto approached Sasuke almost as one might approach an injured stray animal, a deep frown on his face.

“Sasuke...”

Sasuke had no time to move. Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke’s neck, holding his body into him. Sasuke’s body became rigid as he successfully fought back his tears. The silence was precarious.

“Naruto, stop. Not now.”

Naruto’s touch was dangerous. It grounded him, softened him. He couldn’t give in. He couldn’t let it hit him. But instead, Naruto took a seat next to Sasuke, forcing Sasuke’s entire upper body into his arms. Sasuke’s head rested on Naruto’s shoulder, and he attempted to tense, to ignore Naruto’s warmth, the hand softly petting the back of his head. If he allowed his body to give, he felt that he would lose control.

“I mean it,” he spoke, his voice still strong enough to be authoritative, “Leave me alone.”

The idiot wouldn’t give up. He tried to move away from Naruto, who only pulled him back more tenaciously. Sasuke had stopped crying the instant he noticed Naruto, yet the blond still held him so tightly. Sasuke was trying to fight it. It had been difficult to pull himself together so quickly, and Naruto was definitely not helping matters. He knew how to do this. He knew well how to stuff his stresses and struggles to the recesses of his mind. Sasuke wanted to retreat, to block himself off. It wasn’t fair. Why did Naruto have to be around when it was the toughest to shut down?

“Go away!” Sasuke shouted, pushing Naruto off of him.

Naruto came back, holding him just that same way, tightly, as if attempting to ward off everything that ailed him. It felt good. Sasuke was so tired, in every sense of the word. Sasuke frowned, allowing his body to relax. The muscles gave way, his rib cage compressed, and his eyelids drooped. He sighed, very slowly letting out the air that the muscles around his chest had clung to so stubbornly. His eyes burned, then they teared. He felt the tears flowing fast and heavy, and before he was even aware of what his body was doing, his entire frame was wracked by deep sobs.

He hadn’t cried like this since he was a small child. Even after his parents died, though he did leak out the eyes a handful of times, he’d never let go to this extent. His honor would not allow it. It was cathartic, relieving, painful, and humiliating all at once. It wasn’t just about his brother. It was everything that had happened this past year, all rolled up into one. It was his fury, his loneliness, and his heartbreak.

His parents were dead. Nothing he could ever do would bring them back. He was every bit as powerless in those regards as he was the day that fire had consumed their flesh. He would never hear his father’s reluctant but warmingly genuine laughter again. He would never hear his mother’s soft voice humming in the car or feel her smooth hand gently comb through his hair while he lay in bed fevered, just as he was now. Though he would give most anything for just one more minute with them, they were gone. It was over. Never again.

And again, from the time he found Itachi on the bathroom floor even to right now, he had been powerless. If fate had frowned upon him today, he would never feel Itachi’s fingertips between his brows, never sip at his beer over burgers and laughter. He was powerless to protect Itachi from the sickness that plagued him, powerless to provide for his family. He was powerless to find Naruto a home, to keep them from being separated. He hated all of these things he couldn’t control. These were the very things that could take from him the people that mattered most in a heartbeat. And so he cried.

He had only met Naruto this summer. Why would he allow himself to unwind around this boy, of all people? He hated the sounds coming from him. They sounded so miserable and pitiful. It made him feel so vulnerable, yet so honest. It clicked for Sasuke now. Maybe love was being able to act like this around someone.

“Shit... He… I _really_ could’ve lost him.”

Naruto tried not to reveal his shock at Sasuke’s reaction. The sounds issuing from Sasuke were literally painful to Naruto. At the most, he’d seen a knit brow, a sigh, or a frown from Sasuke. He knew that Sasuke was stressed, but he only showed it in the smallest of ways.

Naruto didn’t object to crying. When he needed to blow off steam, he saw no problem with shedding a few tears. He knew that this wasn’t the case with Sasuke, the epitome of stoicism, of grace under pressure. It was tragic and almost disturbing. For Sasuke to cry, especially like _this_ , he must really be hurting. Sasuke clenched Naruto’s shirt roughly, balling the fabric with white knuckles.

He hated to see Sasuke suffer like this. He wanted to fix everything for Sasuke, to make his brother healthy, to bring his parents back. But all he could do was just wrap his pale frame in his own. It seemed so inadequate. Naruto’s throat tightened, and his eyes misted with tears.

Sasuke tried to ignore thoughts of humiliation and insecurity, feeling a deep inner tension leave his body. Sasuke wasn’t sure how much time had passed as he unraveled in Naruto’s arms. Finally, he began to run out of steam, succumbing to profound exhaustion. He was unpleasantly reminded of his fever as he was struck by nausea in the pit of his stomach and a nasty headache. Tears were still falling, but noiselessly now.

“There’s really not jackshit I can do to save him, is there?” Sasuke asked, his voice low and quiet.

There was silence between them. His face rested on Naruto’s shoulder, he couldn’t see his face.

“No,” Naruto answered quietly. “There isn’t.”

As another tear fell from Sasuke’s cheek, a sad smile form on his lips. He was glad that Naruto was being honest.

“But at least you saved him this time, hm?” Naruto asked, his fingers shimmering through the thick, jet black locks on the back of Sasuke’s head.

Sasuke stared blankly at the wall behind Naruto, his eyes still watering.

“My dad died in that hospital,” Sasuke muttered.

Naruto’s veins iced at Sasuke’s words. He had suspected from the start that Sasuke would be making connections. He’d just lost his parents last year, so how could he avoid being reminded? Sasuke had told Naruto that after his house caught fire, no one in it survived the night. This was vague. Who had been in the house? Had they died on the spot? How much had Sasuke seen?

Naruto didn’t speak at first, running his fingers through Sasuke’s hair as he pinned a chunk of his bangs behind his ear. What could he possibly say to that?

“That must’ve been really scary.”

Sasuke hesitated before nodding in response, unable to maintain eye contact.

“I kept...remembering... Fuck, I miss my parents so much. I think about them every day.”

As difficult as this was for Naruto hear, he felt profoundly honored that Sasuke, as distant as he was, would choose to open up to him. He believed that this was a very big step in their relationship. Something about Sasuke’s tone seemed so raw, so...real. Naruto couldn’t currently see Sasuke’s eyes, but he saw a plump tear fall from his face to the back of his hand. Even if Sasuke could never explain how badly his parents’ death had damaged him, it was palpable to Naruto now.

“I had no reason to ever expect them to die. But all of the sudden...”

It felt that nearly everything he’d known or loved had disappeared in a second. His parents, all of his possessions, and even his cat were lost in the fire. All he had was Itachi and Naruto now. Thank god for them. Yet couldn’t he lose them just as easily?

Sasuke’s voice cracked, and a new surge of tears was coming. Fine. He didn’t care anymore. Naruto silently pet Sasuke, rubbing his sore head and shoulders from time to time. It was so unfair, Naruto thought. Sasuke was only fifteen years old. Losing his parents had been difficult enough. Now Sasuke had to deal with the possibility of losing his brother, the sight of him lying on the bathroom floor inches from death.

Several tears ran down Naruto’s cheek, their course indenting slightly as it met his scars. He couldn’t stand to see Sasuke suffer like this. He wanted to say something, to fix the situation, to soothe and reassure. But right now, Sasuke needed to talk, needed to be listened to. If Naruto interrupted him, and thus derailed Sasuke’s train of thought, Sasuke might shut down completely.

“It’s crazy. People can get snatched up in an instant, right under your nose. That’s why I get paranoid... Maybe I overreact. My parents, then you, now Itachi... Everything moves so fast, and there’s not shit I can do about it. I just have to keep moving with it, but it’s too much, too fast...”

When was the last time he’d used so many words, and about such a topic no less? Once upon a time, he’d led a calm, commonplace life. He had no reason to become so strong. He had not been even slightly prepared for what the next year would hold. He wanted to go back. God, he’d give anything to go back. He had thought that his parents’ deaths would be the worst of it, that the tough part would just be missing them. He was _trying_ to mend. But Itachi now? And Naruto? How could he fix himself when he kept being knocked down just as he began to make progress?

Naruto didn’t interrupt Sasuke as he spoke. These were all words that needed to be said, words that Sasuke had buried deep in his psyche, covered by a front of distance and indifference. Sasuke’s reckless behavior made sense, especially when he said such things. Maybe Sasuke jumped the gun sometimes, but he would do anything to protect the people he loved.

Sasuke held Naruto tightly into his body, hiding his face with Naruto’s shoulder. A few remaining tears fell, more slowly now. Naruto gently lifted Sasuke’s face up by his chin, slowly kissing him, his tongue caressing Sasuke’s as they leisurely moved against each other. When Sasuke looked back at Naruto, his eyes were red and slightly swollen, but the tears had stopped.

“I can do it, right?”

Sasuke was actually asking him for reassurance? He never would’ve seen that one coming. Naruto grinned.

“Of course you can. You’re such a stubborn little dickmunch... I know you can face whatever comes your way. You’re strong, Sasuke.”

Sasuke smiled back, the corners of his lips quaking as he kept back tears. Dickmunch? Really?

“I was just testing you, by the way,” Sasuke answered wryly, despite the fact that his voice was still strained. “You passed.”

Naruto snickered, before continuing in a quieter voice, “You don’t have to do it alone, Sasuke.”

All of this time, it had been Sasuke who stayed up late pouring over textbooks, setting up deals, and mowing lawns. Naruto had done what he could to help, but hell, he couldn’t even _cook_ for Sasuke. Sometimes he felt like any attempts at helping Sasuke just caused more hassle if anything. It seemed so feeble.

“You.”  Sasuke gripped Naruto’s hand tightly before continuing, “You’re not going anywhere, got it?”

Sasuke’s voice was pushy with a hint of dry jest. But damn, how much more was he supposed to handle? At least _someone_ had to stick around. He couldn’t take losing Naruto now, so he looked directly into Naruto’s eyes when he spoke.

“Got it.”

Sasuke nodded. He was surprised at how much better he felt. Is this what people saw in crying, in talking things out? Sasuke felt ashamed when a small part of him wished that he had done this much, much sooner. Maybe he would consider opening up a little more in the future, just possibly.

As he parted away from Naruto, he wiped at his face and raised his lip in disgust upon noticing how wet it was. His nose was congested and runny to the point that it had become useless, and his head ached. Christ, he was a wreck.

“This is absolutely disgusting.”

Maybe he’d take back what he’d thought about letting out his emotions more often. He’d clearly forgotten all the things that crying entails, like puffy skin, runny noses, and aching heads. He rubbed his temple and tried to resist the urge to wipe at his nose.

“No wonder I never do this.”

Naruto chuckled, offering Sasuke a box of tissues from the counter. Sasuke cleaned up quickly.

“Feeling any better now?”

Sasuke sighed, “Yeah, I’ll be fine. But I _really_ have to figure out... Shit.”

Naruto hesitated at Sasuke’s sudden change of tone. Suddenly, Sasuke was on his feet. Naruto bit his lip, wondering what Sasuke was referring to. It sounded rather dire.

“What?”

“It’s 6:52.”

Naruto perked a brow.

“Uh... And?”

Sasuke was moving away now in strides.

“I have to get ready. I’ll be late for the bus.”

Naruto’s jaw dropped as he regarded Sasuke with skepticism. He couldn’t be serious. After all that had happened, he wanted to go to school? How Sasuke could endure so much and then just snap back into game mode frankly amazed him.

“ _Please_ tell me you’re shittin’ me.”

But Sasuke had already entered the downstairs bathroom. He used a washcloth to cover his face in cold water, which reduced his face’s temperature and the reddish swelling around his eyes at the same time. There, no evidence of distress whatsoever. He’d have to shower and change outfits too. Dammit.

“You’re not going to school today.”

Sasuke arched a brow, finding Naruto’s statement rather novel. Naruto, meanwhile, wondered how Sasuke could compose himself so quickly. The guy had just been crying his eyes out.

“Apparently I am.”

Naruto crossed his arms, stubbornly shaking his head.

“Nope.”

“Yep.”

Naruto rolled his eyes, losing his patience now.

“Stop being so stubborn! You haven’t slept all night, and you have a fever.”

Not to mention the fact that he’d had to call an ambulance on his brother, and that said brother had nearly died. Or that he’d just broken down bawling. For Christ’s sake, the guy still had blood on him. Of course, he knew that saying this would get him nowhere with Sasuke.

“A low grade fever,” Sasuke clarified with a croak.

Naruto shook head head, holding his feet in place. He wasn’t budging an inch.

“You are not going to school, and that’s _final_.”

Sasuke merely smirked, almost amused by the authority in Naruto’s voice, “You should realize by now that you’ll never be able to boss me around.”

“You need to rest!”

Sasuke frowned, replying in a more patient tone of voice, “Breakdown time is over. I’ve got shit to do.”

Naruto obstinately stood in front of the bathroom door, blocking Sasuke’s path to the bedroom. How could Sasuke recover so quickly?

“Move,” Sasuke ordered.

Naruto’s eyebrows declined angrily, and he mouthed the word quite clearly, “No.”

Sasuke calmly tried to push Naruto out of the way, but he didn’t budge.

“I mean it, dumbass. I’m behind in calculus.”

Naruto’s smirked as his brows raised, a mocking smile on his face.

“Oooh, you gonna get a B or something?”

“Of course not.”

Naruto arched his brow.

“Have you ever even gotten a B?”

“No, and I don’t intend to. So move your ass.”

Sasuke had seriously never even gotten a B? For as much trouble as Sasuke could cause, he was certainly an overachiever.

“You’re not even gonna be able to learn when you’re like this!”

It wasn’t only his grades. They needed the money too. Sasuke stared at Naruto impatiently, now forcibly shoving him out of the way.

“I said no, dickboat!”

“Piss off! I’m gonna be late!”

Soft pushes weren’t going to get him anywhere. Sasuke threw his weight into Naruto’s body and sent the smaller boy stumbling backwards, running up the stairs and locking the shower door behind him. He threw off his clothes. Water. Shampoo. Soap. Done in five minutes. He wrapped a towel around his waist and pulled at his bedroom door...which was locked. Sasuke kicked the door.

“Hey! Let me in!”

Naruto shouted back.

“Joke’s on you, bastard! You can’t go to school if you don’t have any clothes!”

Of course, Naruto was doing this for Sasuke’s own good. Sasuke was going to get really sick if he didn’t rest today. Naturally, he didn’t find the idea of Sasuke slamming on the door with nothing but a towel around his waist amusing. He didn’t take any sick pleasure in this. No, of course not. Whatever the case, Sasuke was anything but amused.

“If you don’t let me in, I’m gonna punch your fucking lights out! Open the door. _Now!_ ”

“You can’t make me!”

What was he going to do? He certainly couldn’t wear the outfit he’d just stripped out of. As if the sight of it weren’t bad enough, it wasn’t exactly the most fragrant. So he could either convince Naruto to let him in (unlikely), find some other way into his room, or just sit there naked until the school bus rolled around.

He had an idea, but he was running out of time. He rummaged through his pants and pulled out his school ID, which he promptly used to wiggle into his bedroom. That lock had never been very strong. Naruto shrieked upon hearing the door open, a shower of potato chips hitting the ground in his shock.

He was unsure whether the sight of a naked, still slightly damp Sasuke angrily charging towards him was more amusing, arousing, or frightening. Sasuke lifted his fist back and punched Naruto in the shoulder, a good bit harder than was playful. Naruto grasped both hands around Sasuke’s arm, the larger boy tugging Naruto across the carpet by his heels as he approached the closet.

“Let go!”

Sasuke grabbed the nearest T-shirt. He didn’t exactly have the luxury of being picky right now. As Sasuke tried to lift the shirt over his head to put it on, Naruto barred his forearm over the collar and pushed Sasuke’s head down. At this rate, the shirt was going to rip, and this exchange was certainly doing nothing for Sasuke’s headache. Sasuke’s towel fell to the ground as he strained and left Sasuke completely bare, much to Naruto’s approval.

“You are going to be in such deep shit when I get home from school today.”

He couldn’t even get the damned shirt over his head.

“You aren’t going to school! You’re going to go to bed and eat chicken noodle soup and watch cartoons with me, dammit!”

“Your shows are all horrible!” Sasuke spat, and he meant it.

Naruto gasped, “Well, your music sucks! There’s a reason why no one’s heard of these bands!”

He actually loved Sasuke’s music, but that fact would hardly serve his current purposes. Sasuke growled. He’d gotten the shirt over his head but was having great difficulty getting his arm through the sleeve, with Naruto clinging to his bicep.

“Just because you don’t hear a song all over the radio doesn’t mean it’s bad. I’m sick of your top forty shit!”

Dammit, he only had five minutes! Sasuke shoved Naruto’s chest away, only for Naruto to whack him in the face. Naruto gasped as Sasuke elbowed him in the stomach. Sasuke used the opportunity to put on his shirt, now his only piece of clothing. Naruto clutched Sasuke’s hair and yanked his head forward by it.  Sasuke was beginning to cough, driving his forearm into Naruto’s elbow to free his hair.

“Hate to break it to you, but this isn’t doing anything for my fever.”

Sasuke was sick, and Naruto was smaller. It was a fair enough fight, and Sasuke was running out of time. Sasuke lunged towards his underwear drawer, Naruto pulling the boxers out of Sasuke’s hands before he could get them around his feet. Sasuke was beginning to feel dizzy. He couldn’t hold back.

“You’ll get plenty of rest after I knock you unconscious!”

Naruto sunk his teeth into Sasuke’s forearm. Fuck, that was sharp. Sasuke slammed his fist onto the top of Naruto’s head in rapid succession, causing his jaws to loosen. Did Naruto seriously just _bite_ him? He should’ve known that Naruto would be a dirty fighter. The room was beginning to spin around Sasuke, his exposed lower half becoming quite frigid. He glanced over at the clock. He was too late.

“You idiot!”

Naruto grinned back at the other victoriously as if to say “I win.”  The look Sasuke gave him in return could’ve curdled milk, soon after punching Naruto’s bicep with boney knuckles. Naruto braced himself against Sasuke’s desk as he shoved Sasuke onto the bed with all of his strength. Naruto lunged on top of him, on all fours with Sasuke beneath him.

There was a slight shine to Sasuke’s forehead and a gentle blush to his cheeks. Whether this was due to his fever or their altercation, Naruto couldn’t say. Sasuke’s shirt just crept above Sasuke’s ribcage, his lower half completely nude. Naruto froze. Sasuke panted now, his eyes partially lidded as he scowled up at Naruto.

And there Sasuke was, fever-flushed, exposed, irate, and pinned beneath him. Naruto glanced down, and he felt his lower half begin to heat up, felt a tingle over his back and shoulders. Sasuke’s left hip hung up slightly askew, brushing against his thigh. His cock hung limply, and Naruto felt a steady heartbeat sinking lower, between his legs.

Sure, this might not have been the best timing. The past twelve hours had been nothing short of a nightmare for Sasuke, and he was under the weather to boot. But god, when Sasuke was _literally_ just lying there, underneath him like that, with nothing on but a T-shirt, vulnerable…  How was he supposed to resist?

On impulse, Naruto leaned forward and hungrily kissed Sasuke, only for Sasuke to bite into his bottom lip. Hard.

“Ow! What the hell, Sasuke?”

Naruto licked at the wound. Was that blood he tasted?

“Fuck you,” Sasuke growled.

“You…fuckin’ bastard…”

Sasuke merely smirked.

But now Naruto held Sasuke’s body down by arms. The other grunted as he tried to fight Naruto, but the room had begun to spin. He was dizzy, and he clenched his eyes shut. Naruto kissed his neck, nipping the skin and pulling outward. Much to Sasuke’s dismay, he heard a quiet but needy moan escape his lips. Naruto licked his palm, reaching down and caressing Sasuke’s dick.

“Nn…”

Naruto’s saliva felt cool against the fever-heated skin, which made him all the more sensitive. It was so sensitive, and Sasuke fought temptations to grind into Naruto’s palm. Naruto grasped his length, pumping up and down as Sasuke’s nails dug into Naruto’s lower back. That asshole had gotten in his way, and now he was attempting to seduce him?

Sasuke jerked Naruto’s body into him, clenching his collar in his hand. Sure, his vision was spotty, and every now and again, the room would spin around him. But he needed this. He needed him. Sasuke sucked at Naruto’s earlobe, biting the flesh and tugging as Naruto moaned.

He whispered into Naruto’s ear, his breath softly fogging against it, “If you’re going to defy me, do it completely.”

Naruto wondered if Sasuke could ever comprehend the effect his words had on him. He felt his own member stiffen in anticipation.

“Don’t hold back, Naruto.”

Sasuke frantically kissed, sucked, and nipped down Naruto’s neck, biting and sucking the skin. He left a plump purple mark behind for Naruto, glimpsing at it with snide satisfaction. Even he couldn’t help but be surprised by how quickly things heated up, but he had needed this.

“Oh god…  Fuck, Sasuke…”

Naruto’s hands picked up, pumping Sasuke rapidly. This was a little hypocritical, wasn’t it? Wasn’t he trying to get Sasuke to rest? But Sasuke would rest. Naruto would make this up to him later. He’d pamper him, fuss over him, soothe him…  But the way Sasuke had spoken, and the way he looked, so exposed, so fucking _vulnerable_ for once…  He couldn’t control himself. He had to make Sasuke beg, had to get inside…  He had imagined in such meticulous detail the sounds Sasuke would make as Naruto fucked him, how tight his virgin hole would be as his cock _disappeared_ into him.

There was no guaranteeing Sasuke would allow him to do such a thing, As Naruto’s hand picked up pace, Sasuke’s eyes clenched tight. He felt the slightest bit of pain from the friction.

“Dry…  There’s lube in the drawer.”

When had Sasuke bought lube, anyway? Whatever the case, it was making itself useful. Naruto squeezed a dab onto his hand, a slight sensation tingling on Sasuke’s cock as Naruto’s hand shlicked up and down his erection. Naruto hoisted Sasuke’s legs up to rest on his shoulder. Sasuke merely panted, gripping onto the sheets to ground himself.

He felt a lube-slicked digit intrude into his entrance. He gasped.

“Does this feel good, Sasuke?”

Sasuke was panting now, his chest flushing and his toes curling. His bangs hung back, leaving Sasuke’s forehead bare. The lean muscles on Sasuke’s chest and stomach clenched, and his lips parted just slightly. He looked absolutely _gorgeous_ to Naruto.

“Yes…”

He’d move slowly. After all, Sasuke wasn’t exactly used to this sort of thing. Sasuke’s cock was now at half mast, and Naruto’s personals ached with neglect. He cleared his finger to the second knuckle, his thrusting gentle and shallow.

Sasuke felt so open with his body in this position. Naruto must have had a perfect view – not that there was anything wrong with that. Sasuke hadn’t much considered being penetrated. The majority of Sasuke’s fantasies involved burying himself into Naruto, fucking the bow senseless with raw thirst, making him moan and scream out his name. Yet in such a frame of mind…  He didn’t mind it. Maybe he would feel differently tomorrow, but today, Naruto had given him strength when he felt weak. The mood was shifting, from angry and violent to intimate.

For the past year, he had refused to show weakness, refused to let his guard down. But this… He felt himself being restored. He would indulge in this single, reckless day of weakness, with Naruto guiding him. It amazed him. It had been so long since another being was able to comfort him like this. He remembered his mother holding him as a very young child, tears falling down his plump cheeks. While he was glad, part of him felt uneasy. He was taking his chances with Naruto. Another person to cherish means another person to lose.

Naruto looked up at Sasuke, his bright blue eyes full of both hunger and compassion. It made him greedy, comforted…owned. It made him forget his anxieties. He had felt awfully small today, awfully weak. But now he felt so safe.

And Naruto’s entire finger was inside of him now. He writhed silently, enjoying every moment. Naruto had been so patient, and Sasuke had been so exhausted that he had managed to relax completely. Sasuke’s eyes drifted downward as Naruto took Sasuke’s cock in his mouth, bobbing quickly. When Naruto dragged his tongue along the vein on his manhood’s underside, it made his fists clench blond tufts of hair, made him hold his breath.

“Yes…” Sasuke whispered. “Shit…”

Naruto sucked at the base, but as he reached the tip, he pulled his tongue back and suctioned hard, drawing Sasuke’s orgasm to the surface. He kept his pace. How long could Sasuke last? The salty taste of Sasuke’s precum alerted Naruto that he wouldn’t be much longer. Sasuke felt the heat of his body sink to his lower regions. Not already…

He had to hold on. He couldn’t cum so easily. He had pride at stake here, after all. And he was sick, and fevered, and maybe even a tad bit delusional. It wasn’t his fault that he was submitting like this, that he was _enjoying_ this so damned much.

Two fingers now, slid in. They didn’t thrust. They merely filled, remaining stationary as Sasuke accustomed himself to them. God, Sasuke was clenching so beautifully around them.

“Oh…god…  Naruto, I’m gonna cum…”

Naruto wanted to give him more, wanted to thrust, wanted to overwhelm him completely. But not today. Naruto had decided to be patient, to be gentle. Even as he felt every muscle in Sasuke’s body contract, he would discipline himself. Hot cum hit the back of Naruto’s throat, and he allowed it to slip back, swallowing.

Sasuke was silent. Barely. He clenched his teeth, shut his eyes, breathed in deep. Several spurts. His fingers and toes tingled, his body felt heavy and soft. And Naruto fingers were still inside of him.

“Sasuke, you looked…beautiful.”

Sasuke had half a mind to be offended by that. Beautiful? Could men be beautiful? But Naruto was staring at him now, his eyes soft and blue, a smile every bit as warm as his eyes on his tanned face. Sasuke smiled back, his mouth shut now. He felt a drop of sweat descend his temple, but he did nothing. The two fingers began to withdraw. Sasuke reached down and grabbed Naruto’s wrist.

“No…  Not yet.”

Several seconds passed. Sasuke was still, taking a deep breath and licking his lips as if contemplating his next move. He had to compose himself, waiting for the warmth and sluggish malaise of his orgasm to fade.

“Deeper…”

Naruto arched a brow. Already? Was Sasuke serious? Naruto hesitated. Sasuke was ill. He didn’t want to overwhelm Sasuke, to stress his body. And Sasuke did look overwhelmed, but in the best of ways.

“’S okay. Keep going.”

Naruto began to thrust, so gently that Sasuke’s brows knit in frustration. Hell, he was a little sick, but he wasn’t an invalid. He pushed his weight into Naruto’s finger by pulling back his thighs, his upper legs still resting on Naruto’s shoulders. He lifted himself on and off, forcing Naruto’s fingers in and out. Sweat was beginning to build on the back of Sasuke’s knees.

“You’re being greedy,” Naruto snickered, sounding a little impish.

“You’re being stingy,” Sasuke rebutted, his voice a little cross.

“Sasuke, you’re not feeling well.”

“That didn’t stop you from hitting me in the face.”  Sasuke was panting, forcing Naruto’s fingers in deeper. “Now stop holding back and fill me.”

Naruto _ached_. He couldn’t expect Sasuke to reciprocate too much. Not in this state. But if Sasuke was going to boss him around like that, when it took all of his power to be so cautious…  He’d asked for it, after all.

Three fingers, thrusting slow, then fast. Faster. Sasuke moaned, feeling a twang of pain.

“Relax, babe.”

Sasuke nodded, finding that the sting subsided. It was a little strange. He’d been fingered before, but he’d never had three fingers inside of him. But the thrusting made his body slowly acclimatize to it, and now, already, he wanted more. He didn’t think he’d _ever_ want this. This wasn’t him. So why? His head lashed to the side, and he was already becoming stiff again.

“N-Naruto…  Fuck, it’s not enough.”

Naruto stared down at Sasuke, his face bright red, causing the bed to creak as he bounced slowly up and down. Sasuke grabbed Naruto’s shoulder, his arm, flattened his palm on his chest, brushed his thumb over Naruto’s nipple… His hands were hurried, finding no purchase but wandering mindlessly.

Naruto first removed his fingers, then squeezed the lube onto Sasuke’s ass, the clear substance leaking into Sasuke’s gaping hole.

“You…son of a bitch…” Sasuke breathed at the fingers’ absence, glaring down at Naruto venomously until he felt the head of Naruto’s cock, softly pressing at his pucker.

Sasuke gasped, stiffened, stared down at Naruto with shaking irises. This…  He’d fantasized about this, though he was ashamed to admit it. Sure, he’d dreamt about filling Naruto to the brim. Dreamt of making him scream, making him his. But this? No, this had occupied his fantasies all the same. It felt so dirty, so humiliating, so forbidden, and it made it all the more arousing.

“N-Naru…”

His voice had lost its poison, now sweet and gentle. Naruto pushed his cock, just aching for release, just against Naruto’s pucker, expanding it ever so slightly but not penetrating.

“Sasuke, I won’t push you. I wanna make sure you’re ready.”

Naruto was sweating, every bit as uncertain as Sasuke, in actuality. Yes, he was hot. His orgasm was being so relentlessly delayed. But he’d never done this before. He’d never penetrated, or been penetrated. He could only assume what should be done. What if he made a mistake? Could he really do this? He wanted to _impress_ Sasuke, but doing so was never an easy task.

Yet he was so excited. Both of them were. Some tumultuous mixture of eagerness, excitement, nervousness, and joy. Sasuke was okay with this. He’d never been overly sentimental, but there had been a reason he’d kept his virginity, after all. He was alright with, no, enthralled with the fact Naruto would be his first. Naruto was kind, sweet, and so untainted, so understanding despite all the reasons he’d been given to be anything but. One of the few people who had come to understand him, who _still_ saw someone deserving of partnership.

Sasuke was weak. He should wait, but with Sasuke’s body practically begging…  The man underneath him had taken him off the streets, cleaned his wounds, fed him, and had likely saved his life. Sasuke had seen past what he appeared to be – a hopeless vagrant. But it transcended simple gratitude. Sasuke was so confident, strong, intelligent, yet so critically damaged. Sasuke wasn’t perfect, but Naruto knew now that he _loved_ him.

Sasuke nodded.

“This is what I want, Naruto. Please…”

Sasuke held his breath subconsciously. It was actually happening. Naruto licked his lips again. Sasuke’s legs still rested on Naruto’s shoulders, and the Uchiha reached down and placed his palm against Naruto’s cheek, Naruto kissing it then nuzzling into it. He pushed himself forward.

Again, Sasuke gasped, whimpered so quietly that only he himself could hear. The head of Naruto’s cock breached his hole. Naruto bit his tongue. God, Sasuke was tight, his hole twitching, clenching around Naruto’s swollen head. He was inside of him, owning him, and he fought the suspicion that his senses were deceiving him, that he was dreaming. He really was taking Sasuke.

Naruto lowered several inches down, pumping shallowly. Naruto moaned shamelessly. Sasuke felt his stomach begin to sweat, felt himself grow dizzy. Naruto stopped his movements abruptly, only continuing after Sasuke nodded him onward. The way Sasuke’s mouth hung open, the corners of his lips just slightly raised…  Naruto etched it into his memory.

“Damn, S-Sasu…  You feel so good. Amazing. You’re amazing.”

Ever so slowly, he pushed deeper. His cock was being squeezed, just gently by Sasuke’s insides. It was unreal, dreamlike. He’d heard people call their first times overrated, awkward, but with them, awkwardness didn’t seem to matter. Just pleasure. Naruto mewled.

“N-Nar…  It’s so good. Shit…”

He relaxed himself, breathed deep, willed his body calm. So sensitive, yet so good. The room seemed to vanish. He didn’t smell his room anymore, and the sheets had lost all texture. He was forgetting today. Forgetting finding his brother in such disarray, forgetting the hospitals, the doctors, his parents…  All he saw, all he felt was Naruto. And he was happy, and safe, and loved.

Eye contact. Naruto kissed Sasuke’s calf, reached down and pet his forehead, stroked his hair as he began to pump harder and faster. Sasuke was completely stiff, and finally, finally Naruto was enveloped. After how long he had held out, it felt phenomenal. Naruto was already so hard. Harder, faster.

“Nn… Yes!” Sasuke shouted.

This was unlike anything Sasuke had ever experienced, being so full, completely. His body had energy for little else but to _feel_. Naruto held Sasuke’s leg, thrusting into him deeply, Sasuke’s ass clapping against Naruto’s pelvis. They were both panting, their faces flushed and coated with sweat.

“I’m there, Sasuke. I’m gonna cum. Fuck…”

He couldn’t hold back anymore. He gripped Sasuke’s thigh tightly as his hips bucked, unloading into Sasuke.

“Sasuke!”

Sasuke moaned, finding himself so close, so precariously close to a second release. Another spurt filled him. This was Naruto, filling him, owning him, loving him. Naruto fought not to slump, in a stupor now. His eyes, partially closed now, stared at Sasuke as he pumped himself quickly, hurriedly, wanting to join his lover as quickly as he could. Sasuke was covered in sweat, Naruto’s spunk leaking out of his hole, greedy, unashamed, sprinting his way towards the finish line. Naruto would be sure to memorize this.

And finally Sasuke unleashed, grunting with pleasure, his own cum splattered around his thighs and stomach. This orgasm was much more intense than the first, leaving him quivering, his hands trembling. Naruto slid out of Sasuke, leaving them both gasping and panting.

Naruto dragged himself up on the bed, next to Sasuke, pulling his head onto his chest. Sasuke obliged, lying there silently, listening to the air enter and exit Naruto’s lungs through his ribs and chest. He was exhausted and content, so blissfully content. Naruto cradled Sasuke into him, the younger male seeming so uncharacteristically small.

In better circumstances, the tables didn’t tilt that way. Sasuke was stronger than Naruto, prouder, meaner. In better circumstances, Sasuke would never accept this without a fight, would never allow Naruto’s strength to lie above his own. But after today…  Maybe that was okay. Maybe it was alright to feel small sometimes. It didn’t seem so scary as long as Naruto was there.

Sasuke spoke, his voice tired and lazy as the endorphins percolated amidst his system, “You probably fucked up my calculus grade.”

“Sorry,” Naruto chuckled

A pause, a comfortable silence, even for Naruto. The chemicals that coursed their veins demanded to be experienced.

“Sasu…I love you.”

Sasuke’s eyes opened, and he merely stared at the sheets. Did he love Naruto? The thought of such vulnerability frightened him, but he felt so safe lying there. Sasuke ran his hand over Naruto’s chest, softly caressing it but with no idea how to respond.

“Yeah.”

Yet he knew that Naruto somehow understood just how he felt.


	30. Chapter 30

The next time Sasuke opened his eyes, the sun was perched at its highest point in the sky. His room had become warm, almost uncomfortably so. His head was still resting on Naruto’s chest. They must have fallen asleep together. One of Naruto’s legs sprawled off of the bed, and he emitted a loud snore. This must’ve been what had roused him, Sasuke assumed.

According to his bedstand clock, it was almost 1 in the afternoon. Sasuke felt less congested, stronger, and more alert. His headache and nausea had both diminished, and the dizziness was gone. He felt refreshed and in lighter spirits. It was uncanny how much more manageable things could seem after a good sleep.

When Sasuke pushed off the sheets, cool air hit the cum on his ass, thighs, and stomach. Sasuke froze, his memories quickly announcing themselves. _Right_. He remembered now so vividly what they had done just before Sasuke had drifted off. The thought made him blush, just softly. No one had to know this, of course. Then he remembered how vulnerable he had allowed himself to be in front of Naruto yesterday, and the idea of it was a little frightening to him.

They weren’t virgins anymore, were they? The thought was foreign, almost unreal. Yet his room was unchanged. The same posters scattered his wall, and the sun rested at its standard place in the sky. Other than his own memories and his disheveled state, there wasn’t a shred of evidence.

Sasuke hadn’t expected to feel this way after losing his virginity. He’d regarded sex as a physiological function, like eating or sleeping. Yet despite the fact that nothing tangible had changed, he felt like _he_ had changed, as well as the intimacy he shared with Naruto. His own psyche had surprised him.

And he still couldn’t _believe_ he’d let Naruto play the “pitcher,” for his first time no less. He must’ve been in a pretty interesting frame of mind. Yet he didn’t regret it. Issues of pride and dominance aside, it had felt _amazing_.

However, experiencing that didn’t revoke Sasuke’s smoldering passion to plow his entire length into Naruto until the blond screamed out his name. Nothing could ever make him give up on that. He hadn’t committed himself to this role, which he intended to make clear, to say the least. And why would he commit when there was so much left to discover? Even watching Naruto sleep so obliviously aroused these temptations, but he had stayed home from school for a reason after all.

He couldn’t help but feel a little closer to Naruto as he glanced up at Naruto’s face, which had not settled into the most attractive expression in his slumber. He remembered how they’d moved together early that morning, before the sun was in full bloom. How they’d felt the very same pleasure in unison, gripping on to each other so tightly. As alluring as the memories were, they didn’t make the sensation of drying semen on his nether regions any more pleasant. Sasuke slid himself off of Naruto, cleaning himself off with some tissues at his bedside.

“Mmmnn, S’uke,” Naruto groused, finally waking up.

Sasuke didn’t answer, throwing a soiled tissue in the trashcan and picking up a clean one.

“G’morning.”

“It’s afternoon, dumbass,” Sasuke replied, his voice healthier than it had been in quite a while. His throat had been soothed by a good night’s sleep.

“I really got you messy, huh?” Naruto asked, snickering with satisfaction.

Sasuke glared back at him.

“That could’ve been the best hour of my life, just sayin’.”

And he’d gotten a smile out of Sasuke now, though a slight one.

“Thank you, Sasuke. I’m so happy you were able to see someone in me who…”

Pretty early in the morning for such kind of talk. Sasuke groaned, cleaning some aftermath off the sheets. God, it had even gotten _there_?

“Sasuke! Are you even listening?!”

“Yeah, I heard you,” Sasuke grunted.

Naruto sighed, “I woulda cleaned you up, but…  You kinda just went out cold, and I think you even _purred_ at some point. You were sooo frickin’ cute. I didn’t have the heart to wake you up.”

Sasuke stared back at Naruto in pure disbelief.

“Bullshit. Cats purr, not people.”

Naruto merely smiled nervously.

“Hey, I’m just tellin’ you what I heard! It coulda been a quiet snore I guess. It was hard to tell.”

Sasuke continued his task, and Naruto gently grabbed Sasuke’s wrist.

“Cut that out. I wanna clean you off.”

“No, I got it.”

“Nooo,” Naruto whined, pulling Sasuke back into him and kissing his shoulder. “I hereby pronounce today…National Pamper Sasuke Day.”

“I object.”

“Objection overruled.”

Sasuke sighed, “Don’t I get a say in this? It’s my holiday, after all.”

Naruto wrapped both arms around Sasuke’s chest, the paler boy obviously the larger of the two. The image seemed oddly inverted. Naruto kissed Sasuke’s neck, and Sasuke gave a mild half smile.

“Nope.”

Naruto was somehow completely clean. Had he taken a shower in the middle of the night? How had he managed not to wake Sasuke? Maybe Naruto was a little more graceful than he had thought.

“Now, lemme clean you up…”

Naruto gently hoisted Sasuke out of bed with him. Sasuke had _still_ managed to keep his shirt on, which saved him at least a little embarrassment.

“Hey, Sasuke…  I know there’s a bathtub in…” he hesitated. “In Itachi’s bathroom.”

“Yeah…” Sasuke frowned.

“I wanted to bathe you, but…I mean, if that would be weird for you…”

Itachi’s bathroom. Sasuke’s mind took him to the very last time he had seen it, with Itachi lying on the ground near death. A deep gloom passed over his face.

“It’s a disaster in there, Naruto,” Sasuke sighed deeply, all too clearly remembering the scene he’d left behind. “I’ll clean it up later. Right now I honestly…”

“No, no,” Naruto interrupted, smiling at Sasuke.

Naruto guided Sasuke towards the room, the splintered door hanging askew as several screws had been torn out of the frame. The bed was made perfectly, as if Itachi had done it himself. Sasuke’s mouth hung ajar with both shock and relief.

“I couldn’t have you fuss over that when you already felt so crappy, so I took some liberties. Come on.”

But Sasuke merely stood, staring at Itachi’s room. It looked as though nothing had even happened, with the obvious exception of the door. It _had_ been a wreck in there. Sweat, vomit, blood, and God knows what else…  He’d been dreading this, actually. Dreading everything coming back to him the instant he saw the aftermath, dreading getting down on his hands and knees and scrubbing before the stench got too bad, being so harshly reminded. He gazed back at Naruto, his gratitude obvious.

“Ah…  You don’t gotta look at me like that. It wasn’t much trouble,” Naruto laughed, scratching the back of his head nervously.

“Thank you,” Sasuke said quietly.

Naruto blushed darkly. He walked ahead of Naruto now, into the bathroom. The tiles were a perfect white, and even the toilet paper had been rolled to the ideal length. He didn’t even know that Naruto possessed the _ability_ to be this tidy.

“Maybe you’ll make a good housewife after all.”

Naruto bent over into the tub and turned on the hot water. Sasuke didn’t mind the location. After all, it wasn’t like Itachi ever used it, and it _was_ the only tub in the house. The water had filled up about half way when Naruto stood in the water, laughing as he kicked it around. He really was like a kid sometimes…

“What are you doing?”

Sasuke had assumed that Naruto was going to bathe him while _he_ lay in the tub. It was small. Far too small for two men.

“Uh…  Getting in?” Naruto asked.

Sasuke shook his head.

“There’s no room for both of us.”

“Hey, only one way to know for sure.”

Naruto turned off the water, lying back into the tub. The warmth felt amazing over the chill winter air.

“Get on top of me.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“It’ll never work.”

“Saaasuke, come oooon. Don’t be a little miss prissypants. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Sasuke sighed. Well, Naruto _had_ done all of this for him. Maybe he did owe him at least an attempt. He lifted his shirt over his head, much to Naruto’s approval, and attempted to lie down on Naruto.

Naruto slipped off to the side, a loud squeak as his skin rubbed against the bathtub floor. The water splashed against the wall. Sasuke fell into the space Naruto’s body left, both of them on their sides, legs tangled. Naruto’s head was being pushed underwater, so he scrambled to the top, causing Sasuke to be rolled over onto his stomach, the younger fighting to keep his head above water.

“What the _fuck_ , Naruto…”

“BREATHE. I CAN’T BREATHE.”

Naruto had probably done a 720 with his body at this point, flopping in every possible direction it seemed. Sasuke fought against him, trying to remain still.

“I told you this wouldn’t work!”

Naruto coughed.

“Sasuke, you’re elbowing me in the chest!”

“Your heel’s in my stomach! How did you even…”

“The water! It went up my nose! There’s water up my nose!”

This was supposed to be soothing and _romantic_. He’d kind of futzed that one up.

“For Christ’s sake…”

The sound of water splashing, the boys grunting, and skin squeaking on the bathtub floor mounted as the boys fought against each other for limited space.

“My nose burns!”

It seemed so quickly that Naruto’s body just _happened_ to slide into the correct position, and Sasuke’s body compressed perfectly into the bends of Naruto’s frame. It was a little awkward, considering that Sasuke was a tad bit larger than Naruto, but it seemed to be working. Both boys froze in their tracks. Finally.

“Hah! I _told_ you so!”

He couldn’t be serious…

“I would smack you right now if I weren’t so averse to moving.”

“Come on, see? We fit perfectly.”

Sasuke arched a brow, his voice dry, “Yeah, after we spent a good thirty seconds flopping around each other like a pair of mentally challenged sea mammals.”

Naruto guffawed, his laughter echoing off the tile walls. Sasuke’s face settled into a smile, his quiet laugh inaudible over Naruto’s. The water rested just below Sasuke’s chin. Naruto’s back was against the end of the tub, with Sasuke resting in his lap.

There was no need for shampoo, as Sasuke had cleaned his face and hair earlier that morning. His body, however, was a different story. Naruto lathered up a washcloth, rubbing it against Sasuke’s taut shoulder. Sasuke pouted, but he allowed Naruto to slowly scrub his shoulder, then his upper arm, and down to his elbow.

Naruto gently rubbed over Sasuke’s forearm, quickly taking note of a long but faint scar running down it. Naruto hummed an unrecognizable tune softly as he held Sasuke’s hand upward. He meticulously scrubbed over his palm and each and every digit. Sasuke really _was_ being pampered, having such care placed into every detail. A part of him wanted to shoo Naruto away. He didn’t need such coddling.

Naruto noticed another scar on Sasuke’s shoulder as he moved. There were more scars on Sasuke’s body than Naruto had realized, though he’d briefly noticed a few before. Any situation in which the two of them were naked together, the mood was generally passionate and lustful. But now, as he scrubbed every inch of skin, he could afford to be more observant.

“Why d’you have so many scars, Sasuke?”

Perhaps not the most tactful way to ask, and Sasuke snickered at Naruto’s awkwardness.

“Some sports, but for the most part, fights I got into.”

“Fights? About what?” Naruto asked innocently, now moving down Sasuke’s left upper arm. The muscles there were strong.

“Anything and everything.”

“Oh…  ‘S hard to believe.” Naruto flustered, correcting himself, “I mean, I believe you! But it’s just…  You almost seem like a robot sometimes.”

“A robot?” Sasuke smirked. “I wonder if I should be insulted.”

That wasn’t exactly a compliment, come to think of it. He was trying so hard to make Sasuke happy, and here he was putting his foot in his mouth at every turn. Dammit.

“Ah…” Sasuke felt Naruto squirm beneath him. “That came out the wrong way. I mean you seem so calm…  It’s tough to imagine you losing your cool much.”

Naruto was blushing as he scrubbed Sasuke’s elbow.

“Not very good with words today, are you?”

Naruto playfully flicked the back of Sasuke’s head, his finger lost to the thick black locks.

“I was different back then. Me against the world, I thought.”

He had lashed out. Soon after the accident, his temper was almost impossible to contain. He rarely yelled, but he would quickly snap back at people. Even violence never doused his burning core. He wanted nothing to do with them. He was quick to disrespect and dismiss. He’d brought tears to Sakura’s eyes on several occasions, and though he’d generally apologize later, the fact remained.

In other situations, it wasn’t solely his temper…  It was the simple fact that he enjoyed causing people pain when they had it coming. He loved watching them suffer, asserting his _control_. These were all variables he could manipulate, and these worthless imbeciles would be under _his_ control as he pummeled them senseless. Because this was indeed one of the few things he could truly control.

Sai’s broken nose was by no means the first or even the worst damage he’d caused. It had simply been the final straw, and for the sake of his brother and his future, he agonizingly forced himself to straighten out. Yet this spark resourcefully found new outlets, from shoplifting to the company he kept. And even now, it still hadn’t been removed from him. He just found other things more important: like the man he was cradled into right now, for instance.

Naruto craned his head downward and kissed Sasuke’s neck, then his jawbone. He gently inclined Sasuke’s jaw backwards, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

“I like who you are, Sasuke, but I think I woulda liked you either way. It’s not always so obvious at first, but you’re a really good person.”

Naruto still said this? The compliment no longer panged him with guilt or melancholy. Naruto knew who Sasuke was and what he did, and he still made this call. But did Sasuke agree? He honestly didn’t know.

“I’m a good person, alright. I’m a fucking saint.”

Naruto chuckled, “Don’t get ahead of yourself, bastard.”

Sasuke snickered, feeling comfortable as Naruto scrubbed his hand, and now his chest.

“Naruto…”

“Yeah, Sasuke?”

“What about _your_ scars? You’ve explained a few, but…”

Sasuke didn’t need to continue. They were both aware of what he was referring to. Naruto’s limbs were scattered with milder scars, and there was a pretty brutal one spanning his shoulder blades. The scar was about seven inches long and thickly indented. Naruto stared down at Sasuke.

“You said it yourself. I’m clumsy.”

Naruto moved the cloth from Sasuke’s chest to his back.

“Naruto…” Sasuke sighed skeptically.

“No, I’m serious!”

“Well, then what about the one on your back?”

Naruto paused. It was, without a doubt, the largest scar on his body, violent and deep. Sasuke stared at the water beneath them.

“When I was ten, I thought it would be a brilliant idea to skateboard down the tallest slide in the county. And that’s just what I did.”

Sasuke tilted his head back, arching a brow.

“You’re fucking serious?”

“What were you expecting? Some tragic backstory?”

Sasuke shook his head, chuckling under his breath. It was a fair enough assumption, given the scars on Naruto’s face and the new addition to his tailbone, courtesy of that nameless vagrant Sasuke never did get to destroy.

“’S not funny! That bitch needed _thirty-seven_ stitches!”

“God, you were every bit as stupid then as you are now.”

Naruto knew how he’d retaliate. Tickling fingers searched for success along Sasuke’s trunk and neck, their efforts futile.

“The hell are you doing?”

“I’m trying to tickle you.”

“Good luck with that.”

Naruto grunted, reaching around and pinching Sasuke’s nipple. Sasuke jerked in surprise, soon after grabbing a few of Naruto’s leg hairs and pulling. Naruto emitted a high yelp.

“Fine, fine,” Naruto grumbled. He now was scrubbing Sasuke’s ass and thighs, between the two of them. Fortunately the water had taken most of the debris from Sasuke’s body, but he scrubbed regardless. Naruto felt a sweat begin to work up on his forehead and neck.

“Here…” Naruto handed Sasuke the washcloth, blushing slightly. “Take care of this part yourself. I don’t trust myself.”

Sasuke made quick work of it. It was nice to finally feel _clean_ again. Naruto pulled the washcloth out of Sasuke’s hands and attempted to scrub Sasuke’s legs, which was near impossible in this position.

“Should we…” Naruto paused, considering his words before proposing the unthinkable, “…Move?”

Naruto did have a point. Besides, he was getting a little tired of being in such a…dare he say, vulnerable position.

“We plan first.”

Naruto nodded fervently. Neither of them wanted a repeat of their first attempt.

“Okay…” Sasuke answered, pausing to think. “So in the end, we’re going to face each other at opposite sides of the tub. Our legs will overlap each other.”

“Got it.”

“You will slide out from under me. Let my body balance on the tub as you move farther back. Once your legs are on your half of the tub, I will lift myself up and pivot, then slide to my end of the tub. Understand?”

“Just like Twister!”

“There’s no rush. Slow, _controlled_ movements, Naruto.”

“Yeah yeah. I’m goin.”

Dammit, he was supposed to wait for Sasuke’s approval. His lower half slid back quickly. It was so tight, and there was hardly any room for Naruto’s body to back into. Sasuke gripped both sides of the tub as he scooched forward. Good.

“Easy…” Sasuke cautioned. “I’m going to pivot in a few seconds. I’ll tell you when.”

There was a swear and a flop, and Naruto’s head slammed into the brim of the tub as his entire body twisted. How Naruto had even ended up in this position, Sasuke hadn’t the slightest clue. But his rapidly twirling legs took Sasuke with him. Sasuke pushed himself back from a near collision with the tub wall, struggling to get the top end of his body to the opposite side. And there was flopping, and splashing, and the familiar squeak of their bodies against the tub bottom.

“This is what you call ‘controlled movements,’ Naruto? _Really_?”

Naruto gurgled loudly, and it was safe to assume that Sasuke’s complaint had fallen upon deaf, water-muffled ears. Sasuke was pushy this time, forcing himself to the other end. Finally Naruto emerged from underwater, sputtering.

“Are you brain damaged?!” Sasuke snapped.

Sasuke’s previously dry hair was now drenched, and he stroked it backwards. It had an uncanny way of transforming his entire face, his forehead completely bare.

“You weren’t doin’ it right!” Naruto coughed.

“There was hardly anything to do! All you had to do was slide yo…”

“I was put on the spot!”

“It’s not brain surgery, Naruto!”

“You pivoted too fast!”

“I wasn’t even pivoting yet!”

Naruto pointed accusatorily, “Don’t lie to me! You _pivoted_.”

“You…” Sasuke paused, looking a little conflicted before continuing. “You’re bleeding.”

“What?!” Naruto demanded, his voice venturing a tad bit higher than he would have liked to admit.

Sure enough, a diluted trail of blood was streaming from Naruto’s temple and down his cheek. Naruto croaked as he saw a dab hit the water.

“Stop whining.”

Sasuke moved closer to Naruto, and Naruto couldn’t help but stare at Sasuke as his damp face came so close to his, Sasuke focusing on Naruto’s forehead intently. A plump drop of bathwater dribbled down Sasuke’s outer cheek, and Naruto noted the creases of Sasuke’s pale lips in detail. Sasuke moved Naruto’s hair out of the laceration, gently soaping it. After all, though the bathwater was a bit sudsy, Sasuke hadn’t been exactly clean before getting in.

“It’s not bad. You must’ve just busted a capillary.”

“I never said it was bad,” Naruto answered defensively.

Sasuke smirked, using fresh water from the faucet behind him to rinse the wound off. It had been tended to, yet Sasuke continued to stare. Quite closely, actually.

“Uh…  Not to be rude, but can I help you with anything, Sasuke?”

“You need a shave.”

Naruto stared back at Sasuke for a moment, rubbing his palm over his upper lip and chin. He _did_ feel a bit of hair growing in, but it seemed spotty.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Ah…  Okay then…” Naruto answered his eyes drifting nervously. He couldn’t say it. He wouldn’t admit it. Not to that bastard.

“You don’t know how to shave, do you?”

“Of course I know how to shave!” Naruto snapped back.

“You haven’t asked for a razor even once since you’ve lived here.”

Dammit, what sixteen-year-old male didn’t know how to shave? It wasn’t his fault his facial hair had come in so late!

“Well yeah, cuz I don’t need to shave much. But I still know how.”

“Alright. I’ll get you a razor, and you can take care of it then.”

Naruto was silent. How difficult could it possibly be? You just…drag the thing down your face, right? He’d seen it in on TV and in movies. It didn’t look challenging. But then again, he didn’t know if his pride could handle Sasuke finding him with a face full of knicks. Still, knowing himself…  He was Uzumaki Naruto. How could anything _ever_ go wrong?

Sasuke smirked, obviously understanding the situation from the start. He had wanted to watch Naruto suffer a little first, but he’d had his fun now. Naruto blushed lightly and stared towards the wall.

“Though…” Sasuke felt his own chin. “I guess I’m getting a little stubble. I’ll join you.”

It was humiliating enough that his boyfriend had to be the one to teach him how to shave. In fact, the very same day that he took Sasuke’s virginity, after Naruto had literally plowed inside of him, _Sasuke_ had to be the one to teach Naruto how to shave? What kind of perverse irony had fate bestowed upon him? At least Sasuke was being subtle about it. Proof that he wasn’t a _total_ dick.

Naruto finished washing Sasuke’s legs, and finally the two of them were clean. They drained the tub and stood, drying off their bodies and wrapping their towels around their waists. It would be best to do this in Itachi’s bathroom, Sasuke decided. The bathroom counter and mirror were both longer. Otherwise they’d be feuding over precious counter space and Sasuke’s portrait sized bathroom mirror.

Sasuke came back with both his razor as well as a disposable one, and some shaving cream. He shut the drain and filled it up with cold water. They stood next to each other, Sasuke’s height reaching a couple of inches above Naruto’s. Sasuke placed the shaving cream on the counter between them, lathering some into his palms and rubbing it against his chin, jaw, and cheeks. Sasuke wasn’t lying, actually. He was due for a shave, and his favorite time for doing so was just after showers.

Naruto glanced at Sasuke nervously, attempting to be inconspicuous. Sasuke saw Naruto perfectly out of his periphery, and even in the mirror for that matter, but he mercifully pretended not to. Naruto fetched himself a generous ( _very_ generous) handful of shaming cream and rubbed it onto his skin. Sasuke was using his left hand to pull his skin taut, slowly moving from his left sideburns towards the center of his face.

Naruto, meanwhile, stared at his razor for a bit. He dragged the razor in a long stroke down the side of his face. It was difficult to see if this had been successful or not. In retrospect, maybe he didn’t need so much shaving cream. Just to make sure he’d gotten all of his hair, he shaved from his chin towards the top of his head, in a long haphazard stroke.

“What are you doing?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re supposed to shave with the grain, not against it.”

“Grain?”

“You’re supposed to shave in the same direction the hair grows,” Sasuke sighed, frustrated. “Only go against if you’re in a pinch, or you’ll give yourself razor burn.”

“I already know that,” Naruto grumbled. “You weren’t paying attention. I _was_ in a pinch.”

“How are you supposed to even know if you’ve gotten a clean shave or not with that much shaving cream on your face? You look like Santa Claus.”

Sasuke ran his finger down the part of Naruto’s face that he had attempted to shave, pushing some of the cream aside. Sure enough, a faint streak of blood had formed. He’d already managed to knick himself? Naruto was rather injury prone today, it seemed. Wheat brows knit together.

“Naruto,” Sasuke exhaled, “Do you want me to teach you how to shave or not?”

“Fine,” Naruto said quietly, huffing. It was embarrassing, yes, but he might as well admit it and get it over with.

“Clean your razor.”

Sasuke twirled his own in the sink, getting off any shaving cream and hair left behind. Naruto followed suit, splashing just a bit.

“Use your opposite hand to stretch the skin, and then just shave downwards in short brushes. Don’t use much pressure.”

Naruto slowly dragged the razor down his cheek again. He could do this, right? As much as he hated to admit it, Sasuke really _was_ helping him here.

“Don’t shave at that angle. It’s too easy to knick yourself. Try to keep the blades more parallel with the skin, like this.”

Naruto watched Sasuke and nodded. Easy enough.

“Like this?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

Sasuke hadn’t expected to teach someone how to shave any time soon. Yet he enjoyed instructing Naruto, showing him these things. Sasuke occasionally glanced over at Naruto to make sure he wasn’t doing anything too stupid. Naruto was doing reasonably well, though he was leaving thin streaks of hair behind every now and again.

“You’re missing some spots. Try to work on smaller sections at once.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll get to them,” Naruto answered impatiently.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, and Naruto knicked himself again.

“Dammit! What am I doing wrong?”

“It happens to everyone. You just need practice.”

Naruto nodded, staring in the mirror intensely. He had to get this right. If he was careful enough, moved slowly enough, he wouldn’t knick himself. Maybe Sasuke would be proud of him then, would be surprised at how quickly Naruto had learned.

Sasuke remembered standing beside his father in Naruto’s position, wondering why the man hadn’t just let Sasuke learn himself. After his first several strokes, he began to see why. But his father was patient, uncharacteristically so. Sasuke wanted to do this perfectly, wanted to impress his father. Sasuke was frustrated when he saw his first speck of blood, but his father had merely smiled.

“You’re growing up now,” his father had said.

They stood on a maroon plush rug, working over a pair of simple yet elegant sinks. Sasuke had frowned.

“Yeah, well growing up is a pain in the…  A hassle.”

Fugaku chuckled, and Sasuke recalled his father’s laugh at that particular time so specifically. This was one of the last memories Sasuke had of his father. He smiled, glancing at Naruto, who was taking this very seriously now. Naruto was appearing to get into the groove, and shaving was soon demanding less of his mental energy.

“Sasuke…”

“Hm?”

“When did you start shaving?”

“Fourteen.”

Naruto was visibly discouraged. So early! Was he just a late bloomer? Naruto’s frown didn’t go unnoticed by Sasuke.

“One of the curses of a pale complexion and dark hair.”

Really, Naruto needn’t be so embarrassed. As Sasuke had said himself, their complexions were very different. There was also the fact that Naruto had been severely malnourished for the past year, which could have well delayed puberty for him. As much as Sasuke enjoyed teasing Naruto, he did not enjoy seeing him genuinely insecure.

Naruto nodded, feeling a little reassured by Sasuke’s words. Maybe it really was just because of his complexion, as Sasuke said? With a face as pale as Sasuke’s, and hair so black, Sasuke probably couldn’t get away with much.

“How often do you shave?”

“About three or four times a month, these days. But I have to do it more often the older I get.”

“Have you ever thought of growing it out?”

“You mean like…a beard or something? A mustache?” Sasuke perked his eyebrow. The idea of his face with either one of those was repugnant to Sasuke. Besides, he didn’t think his facial hair was even thick enough for that yet.

“No, I mean just a little stubble. Christ, that would be sexy.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Finally they were done, though Naruto now had a couple small pieces of paper towel on his face. Naruto had graciously volunteered to cook Sasuke breakfast. Sasuke hesitated. The nausea had diminished, but he was uncertain of whether he could digest even the safest of foods. Naruto’s cooking? Well, that remained to be seen.

Naruto watched the eggs with utmost dedication. They must be fluffy, not a bit crusty or hard. They must be cooked evenly. He kept the heat on low. This is what Sasuke had told him to do. He wouldn’t fail, no.

A piece of notebook paper by the stove had caught fire. Fuck. He reached in. It didn’t matter if he burned himself. Sasuke could _not_ smell that smoke, not after everything that had happened. He fortunately made it to the sink before he’d been burnt.

And there it was. The scent of smoke. Sasuke’s palms sweated, and his chest tightened. He _hated_ that smell, yet he ignored it. The grating screech of the smoke alarm. Sasuke covered his ears, pretending to be annoyed by the sound rather than perturbed. He heard clamoring of metal in the kitchen as Naruto quickly slapped a pot over the smoke alarm, racing in immediately to check on Sasuke, who was sitting on the couch.

“Are you okay?!”

“I’m fine,” Sasuke mumbled, sounding a little winded.

He’d been trying to cook a meal for the guy, and he’d just set off a smoke alarm. A smoke alarm of all things, after Sasuke lost his parents in a _fire_ and was allegedly prone to panic attacks. Every attempt he made at making Sasuke feel better was exploding in his face. The bath, now this…  Could he get _anything_ right?

Naruto sat down with Sasuke on the couch, wrapping his arm around Sasuke’s shoulder and pulling the Uchiha into him.

“I told you, I’m fine.”

As pushy as he could be at times, Naruto was a welcome distraction. Naruto kissed Sasuke lightly, their lips briefly pecking together. It was unnecessary. Sasuke could handle such a trivial thing. The fire alarm had finally stopped. He rested his chin on Naruto’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry…  I really wanted to make things easier on you today, and…  I’m just making everything worse and causing hassles left and right. That’s…really all I ever do, huh?”

Naruto shot up, waving at Sasuke dismissively as Sasuke lifted his head up.

“Fuck, sorry, sorry. Ignore that.”

He hadn’t meant to say that. He really hadn’t. He’d always been told he should think before he spoke. Today was about Sasuke. Sasuke had so many issues to deal with at the moment that they made Naruto’s head spin. He did not want to burden Sasuke with the additional responsibility of consoling his bruised ego.

“Naruto…” Sasuke frowned. There were a lot of things he could’ve said. Naruto had been the one holding him together. If Naruto hadn’t been there, what would he be doing now? How much farther would he have drifted?

“You _are_ helpful. Even though I _could_ do this alone…” Sasuke paused. “I’m glad I don’t have to.”

Naruto smiled at Sasuke, but Sasuke had begun to stare off.

“’S wrong, Sasuke?”

Sasuke shrugged.

“Saaasuke…” Naruto weedled, poking Sasuke in the side. Sasuke grunted. “I wanted to make you happy today. Is there a pesky little thought getting in my way?”

Sasuke sighed, “Just…  I feel like I shouldn’t be lazing around like this. With winter break coming up, people are gonna be more eager to buy.”

He hadn’t wanted to mention this in front of Naruto. He knew Naruto disapproved, but again, Naruto had insisted that Sasuke be open with him, many, many times. Sasuke hated to admit that he’d started to enjoy Naruto’s intrusions.

“I’m really worried about you, Sasuke.”

The corners of Sasuke’s lips drooped, and Naruto rubbed Sasuke’s right forearm now. Naruto’s hand made its way over the thickened scar tissue Sasuke had received in a fight several months ago.

“I’m fine.”

“Your brother’s in the hospital now. They have to take care of him. So why not just…stop this?”

Sasuke shook his head.

“What about food? Keeping the house?”

Naruto frowned.

“And if the courts don’t think we’re self-sufficient, they’ll send me straight to foster care.”

Sasuke was still fifteen. If a social worker decided that Sasuke’s needs couldn’t be attended to in this situation… The law always seemed so grey in that area. It seemed like the government could do whatever it wanted to. And away from his brother, then how powerless would he be?

“I’m gonna work at the labor center though, remember?” Naruto told Sasuke. “I won’t get caught while Itachi’s gone.”

It was true that now that Itachi was in the hospital, Naruto could come and go as he pleased. It would make working much easier for him. Sasuke frowned.

“I’ll do it every single day it’s open, I promise!” Naruto said, his voice growing louder. “I’ll make a lot of money, so please just stop doing this.”

“Naruto, you realize that this poses a risk for you nonetheless, right?”

Naruto had been frightened by the prospect, yes. It _was_ a risk. Hiding out in a park was one thing, but working with a wide variety of people and clients, actually going through an _agency_ …  Yet things with Itachi had escalated so quickly. And honestly, just seeing Sasuke suffer so much that morning, hearing him come completely undone…  He _had_ to do something.

Naruto sighed, “Yeah, but you’re taking a pretty big risk yourself. A very stupid, reckless risk. Besides, think about it…  Since they’re paying me under the table, they can’t find me through my paycheck, right?”

Naruto grinned at Sasuke, stuffing down all of his uneasiness.

“‘Sides, I think I’m getting cabin fever. Haven’t you ever seen the movies?”

The idea excited him almost as much as it frightened him. He was glad to finally have the ability to help out, to serve a purpose. He imagined that Sasuke often felt the same throughout his relationship with Itachi. And it was also true that he was getting pretty damned sick of the same rooms day in and day out. He couldn’t believe he would even think this, but what he wouldn’t give for the outdoors and sunlight…

“When I was on the streets, I just kept moving farther and farther out, so I wouldn’t get caught. The only reason I stayed here so long was…”

Sasuke snickered, “Because you couldn’t resist me, hm?”

“You’re a douchebag,” Naruto laughed. “I just want you to stop doing this, Sasuke,” he added, his voice quieting.

With a frown, the paler male decided to only respond to what suited him, “To be honest, the beach was only closed up for trash pickup for a couple weeks.”

“So you were really going to the park on purpose?”

It had been a little awkward to admit, though it had served as a distraction. The last thing he felt like listening to was more of Naruto's protests.

“Yeah…  If I was gonna pick up trash all day anyway, I might as well have some company.”

Naruto beamed, hugging Sasuke tightly. Sasuke cast Naruto back a light smile in return, waiting a moment until speaking again. Sometimes it seemed that Naruto feared nothing more than being taken back by the government. Sasuke knew what a risk like this meant to him.

“Thank you, Naruto.”

“’S fine, don’t worry about it. I’ve been bumming off of ya for months now. And…as horrible as what happened to your brother is, the fact that he’s staying in the hospital will make this even safer."

Sasuke nodded, slowly. Yes, his brother. As much as it pained him, it did make his arrangement with Naruto much simpler. It would buy them time. Naruto’s remark brought his mind to another very important issue.

“Itachi being admitted to the hospital should buy us a few weeks at least, but Naruto…” Sasuke’s eyes stared resolutely into Naruto’s. “He’s going to find you eventually. We need a plan.”

“Yeah…” Naruto answered, frowning and staring towards the ground. Sasuke’s words were unpleasant, but this was reality.

“I’ve been researching the laws. It’s a little…confusing.”

Sasuke hated to admit this, but he _was_ confused. He researched article upon article, but there was so much legal jargon to sift through, and not everything was black and white. There were so many different conditions to consider, and certain elements were just up to the jury. As prideful as Sasuke was, he would’ve jumped at the opportunity to ask Itachi for some help.

“You could try to become an emancipated minor, but you’d need to go to court for that. It takes a while and is expensive. Or you can just…go back to...”

“I’m not going back,” Naruto insisted, stubbornly.

“Naruto…” Sasuke sighed. “I understand your hesitance, but if you were an outsider, what would _you_ suggest to yourself?”

“I’d say it was their decision, because I could never understand what they’d gone through.”

He was dismissing Sasuke, rather childishly in Sasuke’s opinion. Yet Naruto had pushed Sasuke the same way, even knowing that he couldn’t understand Sasuke. Because what would happen to Sasuke if Naruto gave up?

Over the past several months, they had become very familiar with each other. They defended each other, protected each other, and supported each other when no one else would. They related to each other on a level that neither them had even believed to be possible. Yet despite this, there were things about each of them that the other would never understand.

“Be logical. What are the chances of something like that-“

“No offense, Sasuke, but you’re not one to lecture me on being logical and minding probabilities.”

How had the mood shifted so quickly? Whose fault was it? The men glared at each other, each as annoyed as the other.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sasuke asked, his voice placid but menacing.

“You’re selling drugs, and you know what? Chances are, the courts will never take you away, and the money you raise won’t make a damned bit of difference in the grand scheme of things.”

Sasuke’s jawbone became pronounced as he clenched his teeth.

“You know they have to pay for his surgery. They have to pay for his medication. But you aren’t taking _that_ into account, are you?”

Naruto threw his arms up in exasperation. Why was he saying this? Yes, he’d been frustrated with Sasuke’s behavior for a long time, but was now really the time to lash out? How could he have told Sasuke these things after the past twelve hours’ events? Just after Naruto had beaten himself up about somehow maiming all of his attempts to soothe Sasuke’s nerves, he was fighting with him?

Sasuke wanted to yell at Naruto, wanted to explain how scared he was and exactly what was at stake here. He wasn’t overreacting. He just didn’t want something horrible to happen. Sasuke supposed that this was just how Naruto must have felt. Naruto had become defensive, hadn’t he? Sasuke wanted to defend himself too, but why?

“Well, you’re a big kid,” Sasuke spoke calmly, noting their minimal age difference with dry irony. He stood, staring down at Naruto vacantly, “Make the decision yourself.”

There were so many other things he could say, so many different ways he could argue his viewpoint or speak up for himself. But when Naruto spoke like that, he wondered if his lover had a point. Perhaps they were both being ruled by their fears. Still, his only motivation in speaking had been to help Naruto. How could Naruto have the nerve to say something like that to him after last night?

It didn’t matter. For now, he just wanted to be far away. He hadn’t meant what he’d said. He would have time to convince Naruto, to work on him. Perhaps Naruto really could make it on his own, on odds and ends, in a state far away. But what kind of future was that? And selfishly, he thought, he could not let yet another important person disappear from his life.

As Sasuke walked off, so mildly, Naruto swore to himself under his breath. He would have much preferred a slammed door. What he said had been true. The decisions Sasuke was making brought the Uchiha family more risk than safety. But still, Naruto should have had the discipline to hold his tongue, at least for now.

Sasuke quietly ascended the stairs. The older male was tempted, for a moment, to follow him. Maybe they’d _both_ been wrong. But how could he apologize when he was still fuming like this? Sasuke was, after all, being hypocritical by being upset. Naruto wasn’t exactly in the mood to speak with Sasuke either.

Sasuke had homework to work on. He had more meaningful ways to invest his time. He read his biology textbook for fifteen minutes while lying in bed, stopping to knead at his aching temples every few moments. He only heard silence from the lower floor. What exactly was Naruto doing down there?

Somewhere during the chapter on cellular respiration, his thoughts went blank. Perhaps his body still yearned for rest. When the echo of a fist on a door persistently dragged Sasuke out of slumber, it had already become dark. These winter days had grown short.

“Come in,” Sasuke grunted.

Naruto had checked up on Sasuke shortly after their disagreement, but upon finding him so deeply in slumber, he had decided to wait until he could finally find a way to prepare a half decent meal for the two of them. As Naruto entered, Sasuke looked up, and their eyes met. Neither of them said anything. They just stared quietly.

“Hey,” Naruto frowned, his brows knit together. He was holding a plate of fluffy scrambled eggs, pouting. “I didn’t want to throw them away.”

Sasuke sighed. It was be petty not to take the meal, but that was what he’d been tempted to do. Instead he propped himself up, taking the plate onto his lap and taking a small and hesitant bite.

“This is better than I’ve seen you do,” he admitted.

Despite Naruto’s sour mood, Sasuke’s compliment still had full effect. Any compliment from Sasuke did, really.   Their silence stretched on, and just as Sasuke reached out for his textbook again, Naruto spoke up.

"Sasuke, I'm sorry. I was being a dick."

"It's fine," the younger murmured, not taking his eyes from his textbook just yet.

"I know you were just trying to help..."

"Yeah,” Sasuke responded tersely.

Another pause. A sigh, from Sasuke now.

"I'm sorry, too."

Sasuke thought apologizing would make his previous decisions seem less legitimate or his word less credible. But in speaking it, he had shed a burden. He didn't like the feeling. He didn't enjoy being angry at Naruto. He didn't like fighting him - at least not like this.

The tension diminished but did not terminate. Apologies were wonderful niceties, but apologies did not make decisions. A pensive air hung around them as they slowly came to terms with the severity of the situation they were in, and the undeniable truth that one way or another, a decision was inevitable for them both.

“You’re right, Sasuke,” Naruto admitted quietly. “Looking at it, from the outside…  I should turn myself in.”

Sasuke frowned, leaning forward and wrapping his arm around Naruto. He rested his lips inches from Naruto’s ear.

“I’ll protect you, Naruto. If anyone fucks with you, I will destroy them.”

“I know, Sasuke,” Naruto answered with a smile. There was no way Sasuke could promise something like that. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment if you like. I miss hearing from you guys!


	31. Chapter 31

It was six in the morning when Sasuke’s alarm sounded. Sasuke’s body began to rouse automatically at the familiar sound of his alarm clock, but Naruto placed his palm over Sasuke’s eyes before they had a chance to open. Their situations had been reversed.

“Ssh, this is for me,” Naruto whispered. “Go back to sleep.”

Naruto knew that Sasuke tended to have a difficult time falling asleep once he was awoken – another one of their many dissimilarities.

It was Naruto’s first day at the labor center. Naruto had uncharacteristically scoured Sasuke’s closet for the best outfit last night. He wanted to look his best for it, and he even had some nice clothes to choose from. Naruto wore a dark blue pair of Sasuke’s jeans, as well as an orange jacket that Sasuke had bought for Naruto before Itachi got sick.

In the past, even before he had become homeless, he’d never given his apparel much thought. But this had been his first day in public being anything other than a vagrant in over a year. He worried that somehow, people would be able to just tell that he didn’t belong there.

Yet it was also exciting to him, even if he might end up spending the whole day cleaning toilets. Finally, he was a productive member of society. A normal kid, just like anyone else.

The air was icy as he hopped on the bus route, the sun just about to come out. He was glad to be spending so much time outside, which was ironic considering. He had left the house fifteen minutes early to avoid any complications. He was to arrive at the center by seven exactly. Who would be there? Would they be adults? His age? Could he even make friends? His heart was thudding in his ears as the bus arrived, and there was a wide smile on his face.

He tried to focus on these things rather than what could possibly go wrong. What if someone recognized him? What if he was asked the wrong questions or gave himself away? He’d have to be careful with his words. But there was nothing he could do to make himself any safer at this point, so he tried his best to tune out these thoughts.

“Franklin and Main, Franklin and Main.”

Naruto’s brows knit. This wasn’t a stop he’d been told to expect. He stood now, sauntering over to a sign on the side of the bus that depicted the route and all relevant stops. Shit. He’d gotten on the wrong bus.

He hopped off of the bus. What would he do now? He’d manage. He had to. But what if he was late? He wanted so badly to help. How could he already be getting this wrong? He didn’t want to go to Sasuke empty-handed today. He felt himself sweat. He’d have to keep his head.

Quickly, he ran up to a stranger and asked to use his cell phone. The man paused a moment, then nodded and offered Naruto his phone, meanwhile watching him closely. He called the Metro line and was routed to the correct stop, which only ended up being a block away. He boarded the next bus with only two minutes to spare.

He smiled at his fellow passengers on the bus, a few of whom smiled back at him. He remembered the man’s reluctant willingness to let him use his cell phone. Yet the important thing was that he _had_ allowed Naruto to use it. If he had asked the same question before Sasuke had taken in, thin and with his clothes in rags? There was almost no chance in hell. He wasn’t used to not being treated like a leper. Maybe he would fit in after all.

He arrived at the center at 5:57.

He’d made it after all. Still flustered, he approached the long line of participants, aging from their teens to late adulthood. All of them, prospective friends. Naruto knew that he would have fun here.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sasuke prepared himself for the school bus. He was mostly over his fever, though he was still plagued by a slight cough. He brought a pack of tissues with him to dab at his runny nose every several minutes. Once he arrived, school stretched out, and Sasuke couldn’t decide whether he appreciated this or not. He had some unappealing business to attend to this evening. He also knew that today was Naruto’s first day at the labor center. He prayed that everything would go to plan.

After school, he took a bus to the hospital. He would have brought Itachi one of his favorite foods – a chicken sandwich from a local burger joint, but the hospital staff had sternly warned Sasuke against bringing him outside food. Ordinarily, Sasuke might have neglected that rule. However, given that the problem was with Itachi’s stomach to begin with, he had decided to play it safe.

 He rapped on Itachi’s door quietly, not wanting to wake him if he had been able to sleep.

“Come in.”

Sasuke pulled up his standard chair and swung it to the bedside before sitting. Itachi was getting too thin, and his skin was a pale white. However, the bags beneath his eyes had diminished, and he was looking livelier than he had yesterday.

“Hey, Sasuke. How was school today?”

“Boring. Anything good on TV today?”

Itachi sighed, his IV tube following his arm as he rested his hand on his forehead. Has nasal cannula must have been removed last night.

“I have to get over this fever soon so they can just cut me open and send me home. How many paternity test reveals can they possibly air in one day?”

“If anyone asks, I’ll send them your way.”

Itachi chuckled softly, subduing himself to avoid injury. Sasuke frowned down at Itachi, placing his palm over Itachi’s forehead. It was hot, though Sasuke wasn’t sure what else to expect.

“How are you feeling? Any better than yesterday?”

“I’m getting better every day,” Itachi answered with a smile. “Now stop fussing.”

“I’m gonna fuss, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Itachi’s expression sunk slightly. His machines beeped quietly in the background.

“Sasuke, are you taking care of yourself? You’ve been pushing yourself so hard lately.”

“That’s my line,” Sasuke answered wryly.

“I’m serious. You’re working at St. Magdalene’s, and you were sick yourself. You’re so involved with school, and I can tell you’re-“

“Stop it, Itachi. I’m fine,” Sasuke answered sternly. “Besides, you’re not one to lecture me about pushing myself too hard.”

A guilty frown.

“I know I made the wrong decision.”

When Sasuke continued, his voice was much softer, “You risked everything when you delayed that surgery. Even if you could’ve gotten away with it, just…don’t take risks like that with something so important.”

Did he even have a right to scold Itachi? He didn’t care what rights he had, really. So what if he was being a hypocrite? The worst Sasuke could get was juvie. Itachi could’ve died. He’d do anything to keep Itachi safe.

“Promise me that you’ll never put yourself in that sort of danger again.”

“I never wanted to put you through that, Sasuke. I’m not trying to justify what I did, but if not for this horrible stomach flu, it would’ve worked out just fine. You’ve been having such a hard time. I just wanted to do what I thought was best for you.”

Sasuke shook his head.

“What’s best for _me_? You need to think about _yourself_. Your worst flaw is that you never do that.”

“But Sasuke, you’re still young. You need a father, or someone to take care of you. I’ll be fine. I-“

“No. No, you won’t,” Sasuke interrupted, and ever so slightly, his voice quivered. Sasuke wasn’t one for histrionics. But given the situation, his emotions spoke much more loudly. He was so sick of hearing those three words from Itachi: I’ll be fine. They meant nothing to him now.

“Look around us! You were so busy thinking about me and about all of your responsibilities that you ended up here. You live your _life_ for other people, for me. What about you! I can take care of myself. Be selfish. Do something just because you enjoy it. I want to see you happy.”

Sasuke was well aware that he wasn’t any smarter or wiser than Itachi – not by a longshot. He wasn’t one to give people life advice, but he felt as though this was sorely needed. His brother constantly sacrificed, slaving to meet his own responsibilities and spreading himself far too thin. He wanted to be the best guardian to Sasuke that he could possibly be.

How many times had Sasuke watched Itachi try to force a smile after spending every waking hour that day working? How many times had Sasuke watched him suppress tears because he wanted to be strong for others? Even before their parents had died, Itachi neglected his own needs to live up to his family’s expectations and test his limits.

Days ago, Itachi had almost died, but to Sasuke it sometimes seemed that Itachi had hardly been living at all. As much as it pained Sasuke to admit it, he knew that Itachi might not have much time left to make up for the living he’d sacrificed. Whatever was left, be it six months or sixty years, Sasuke wanted to make sure he enjoyed.

“Are you happy?” Sasuke asked, his eyes lingering on the IV in Itachi’s hand.

He could count the number of moments he’d had like this with his brother on one hand. In fact, Sasuke rarely got into such conversations at all. Everyone had emotions, and there was generally no need to discuss them. He’d been like his father in those regards. Yet life lately seemed to push him into all sorts of unexpected situations.

“I have been sometimes,” Itachi responded, forcing a smile with pale lips. “But…  It’s rather exhausting to keep it up.”

Sasuke stared towards the ground. Was his brother suffering? Over the past year, he’d seldom thought to ask. Sasuke knew that he _himself_ was suffering. That was enough to occupy his thoughts. So many times he’d caused his brother hardships because of his recklessness. Much of what Itachi had been forced to endure had been his fault.

And why had Sasuke been reckless? To make himself feel better. To distract himself from his own issues without half a thought as to how his actions would affect Itachi. Of course, losing his parents must have been difficult for Itachi, but Sasuke seemed to make things worse rather than better. He wished he could’ve gone back in time, could’ve punched his past self in the face for being so fucking _selfish_.

Itachi quickly noted Sasuke’s change of demeanor.

“You know, I haven’t been in law school very long. I’ve really been too busy to make many friends or indulge in many hobbies, though I did go on that ski trip last winter. I haven’t had a girlfriend since junior year of undergrad,” Itachi stated with a chuckle. “But you’re here. When I _am_ happy, you’re the reason why.”

Itachi had been happy… _because_ of him? Sasuke’s throat felt tight. He nodded quietly, giving his brother a slight smile.

“We’ll have to work on that.”

He couldn’t do anything about what he’d done in the past. But now he’d work for his brother’s happiness. He’d provide. Even if Itachi ended up needing chemo, and all they had coming in was government aid, he’d give Itachi everything he needed in hopes that he’d be happy. He’d make sure that he’d be there for Itachi every single day.

“That’s all happiness ever is, Sasuke,” Itachi responded, a yawn threatening to deter his speech. “A work in progress.”

“Maybe we’re just at the preliminary stages, hm?”

“Yeah,” Itachi smiled. His eyes were beginning to droop, and his energy was obviously waning. “Maybe so.”

* * *

Sasuke left the hospital soon after. He knew that Itachi wouldn’t let himself sleep as long as Sasuke was there to keep him company, despite how obviously tired the man was. As much as he wanted to linger, leaving for the day was probably better for both of them. Sasuke raised his hood over his hair, protecting his bare neck from the chill of the December air. His uncomfortably cold nose kept running. He’d reach Eighth and C any time now. Sasuke wasn’t looking forward to tonight, his bored fingers toying at the fuzz around his sleeves.

Sasuke couldn’t pass up four hundred dollars. They needed the money. The hospital would operate on Itachi, medicate him, and do whatever was necessary to keep him living, whether they had the money or not. But what about everything else? Federal aid? It was a joke.

Sasuke was sick of being so powerless. He couldn’t just keep relying on Itachi. He wanted to do something, _anything_ to make things better. His brother needed _him_ now. Itachi would never have the best doctors money could buy, but even if Sasuke could get him a slightly better one… It could make the difference. Beyond that, whether Itachi survived or not, Sasuke could at least make sure he had things like a comfortable bed to sleep in, hot chicken noodle soup when his stomach hurt, and a new novel by his bed. He’d take care of him.

It was true taking a risk, but this was nothing compared to the risk his brother had taken for the same purpose, for providing for their family. He was just supervising some business, meeting some guy he cared nothing about, and going on his way. No big deal.

Kabuto leaned against a stop sign, taking a deep drag as he noticed Sasuke and cast him a curt nod. Sections of bare skin showed around his tank top and grey jacket. As soon as he approached the stop sign, Kabuto cocked his head to the left and motioned for Sasuke to follow him.

“You’re late, Uchiha. We value punctuality in this business.”

Sasuke arched his brow and gave his cell phone another peek. He could’ve sworn he’d budgeted precisely enough time to arrive.

“No, you’re early.”

Kabuto snickered, pushing Sasuke’s shoulder.

“I’m just messing with you. Relax.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, frustrated with himself for being tricked. Kabuto did have a point, however. Sasuke’s muscles were taut as a drum. He wasn’t nervous; he was just fully alert and exercising due precaution. Kabuto extended a pack of Pall Mall’s to Sasuke, who gladly accepted the cigarette and the matches. The soft roar of the newly lit match joined the patter of their sneakers on the sidewalk and a distant siren. Sasuke took a couple quick puffs and shook the match off.

They passed a discount store that had long ago been condemned and several wide fields, full of weeds and briars. Sasuke inhaled the nicotine deeply, holding the smoke in his lungs as he felt his body relax. Neither spoke, puffing at their cigarettes as their surroundings grew increasingly questionable. The night’s chill had made the air seem so clear, and he was sure his front yard would be frosted next morning. The stars above them glowed brightly, as many buildings were vacated and thus provided no light. Sasuke stole a glance from time to time. What he wouldn’t give to be home with a telescope rather than here.

“What are we picking up?”

Kabuto stalled before answering, slowly exhaling a billow of smoke.

“It’s harder stuff. Orochimaru both cooks and sells.”

Sasuke perked a brow. He knew that this wasn’t prescription medication and weed. This was something worse, but what exactly, he didn’t know.

“I’m aware of that. I was asking for specifics.”

Kabuto shook his head.

“Sasuke, there’s no need for these questions. Just stand there, be cool, and learn.”

Sasuke grunted. He was slightly tempted to drop the question. He didn’t _want_ to know exactly what they were doing. It remained so much more abstract and comfortable when the details weren’t considered, but there was no turning a blind eye to it.

“I deserve to know what I’m walking into.”

He didn’t like how cagey Kabuto was being about this. It struck him as suspicious, but then again, Kabuto was always suspicious. Sasuke would have to think on his feet. Kabuto seemed to mull the matter over before responding.

“Twack ‘n crack.”

Crack cocaine and meth. Sasuke had heard Kabuto and a few seniors use these terms in hypothetical conversation, dryly joking or making references. He’d pieced together what the words meant long before tonight. Sasuke kept his expression constant as they moved, now even gladder for the cigarette in his hand.

He’d never seen either of these substances in his life. Did Kabuto use them himself? Yet what else had Sasuke expected? Given the things he’d seen out of his periphery at parties and his knowledge of such things, his first guess had been cocaine, but this was actually worse. His desire to get this over with competed with his desire to never step foot in that door, but his legs kept pace. It wasn't too late to change his mind.

“How many people will be there?”

Kabuto shook his head.

“Can’t be more than five or six. Oro’s guys just kind of lag around there. But that’s why you’re here.”

Sasuke nodded in response, his palms slightly sweaty. They were nearing a set of apartment complexes, a short, barred window facing them on the sidewalk.

“That,” Kabuto added, “And to show Orochimaru your eager little face.”

Sasuke scoffed and flipped Kabuto off, causing Kabuto to smirk as they neared the building. He’d made it clear to Kabuto that he wanted nothing to do with Orochimaru after this.

“This is the place. Orochimaru’s unit is up those stairs.”

They had about four flights to go. The gap between each of the short steps was dramatic, each step a simple concrete slab. The narrow rail was a burnt red color, disrupted by the occasional paint chip. Sasuke grasped the railing as he climbed the stairs, now aware of every sensation. He felt a loose piece of paint dig into his palm, quickly moving his hand before it broke the skin. His knees ached with each step, his entire body a little more sensitive due to his lingering sickness. He heard his breath clearly.

The door loomed closer and closer. What was behind it? Who were these people? How did these sorts of things work? How long would it take? He’d be thrilled for a five minute exchange. Here’s the drugs, here’s the money, thank you and goodbye. The sooner he could leave, the better.

Yet he doubted he was getting paid four hundred dollars for something so simple. Why was Kabuto paying him so much? Would this be an incentive for something in the future? Why were Kabuto’s answers to his questions so vague? Did he really want to do this?

They had finished their ascent, waiting at Orochimaru’s door. Up until now, it was just weed and pills. He’d sold to high school and college students, most of which were still in their teens. There was hearty laughter and an occasional shout issuing from the room, and he heard something about “that bitch had it fuckin’ coming to her.” He could not determine how many different voices he was hearing. This would be an experience; he could say this much for sure.

Kabuto knocked on the door four times, a syncopated and obviously intentional rhythm timing each rap. Suddenly, there was total silence behind that door. Footsteps approached resolutely. There was no turning back now; Sasuke had committed himself. They came nearer and nearer. Sasuke’s feet seemed to fasten to the ground. The person on the other side could’ve only been a few feet away. Kabuto grabbed Sasuke’s forearm, turning his hand over and placing a heavy object in Sasuke’s hand. Kabuto quickly released it, and triggered by natural reflex, Sasuke accepted.

“Just in case,” Kabuto whispered.

The sophomore had been so distracted by the situation that the item’s change in hands had been no difficult task for Kabuto. Suddenly, Sasuke’s chest felt every bit as cold as the lethal metal in his palm.

It was a gun.

 “Safety’s on. Be cool.”

The doorknob was turning just as Sasuke processed this data. He was running out of time, with only seconds to spare. He stuffed the handgun in his jacket’s inner pocket and did a fantastic impression of boredom and indifference. What would happen to him if Orochimaru saw the gun? There was no time for discussion, no time for questions. It was too late to turn back. The dark night was illuminated as the door opened. Showtime.


	32. Chapter 32

Sasuke only caught a brief glimpse of his weapon before he was forced to hide it. Stowing it in his jacket was safer than walking into some drug den with an unconcealed gun in his hand. He’d never even touched a gun, let alone fired one. He took a casual drag off his cigarette, subconsciously hoping to appear both older and more comfortable with his surroundings than he really was. What had he gotten himself into?

In his mind, Sasuke retraced the events in his life that had led him up to this moment. It had started simply enough. He’d sell some odds and ends around school for several weeks, raise the money, and quit. Then he took it outside of his school, to the community colleges. Sure, this wasn’t the star pupil behavior Sasuke had been known for in the past, but it wasn’t that far from routine teenage rebellion either. Even Suigetsu and Karin were doing it. How had things gotten to this point?

He was fifteen years old. He should be at home playing video games or watching cheap comedies with friends over microwaved popcorn. He didn’t belong here. He tried to remember every action movie or video game he’d ever come across. There was something on the back of the gun you had to pull back… Then you pull the trigger.

The safety… That’s what you turn on to make sure the gun doesn’t fire incorrectly, and you can’t fire while it’s on. But where’s the safety on this gun, and how do you turn it on and off? He concentrated on the nuances of the gun pressed against his ribs, trying to picture the details in his mind. The thought of having a deadly weapon crammed against his body thoroughly disturbed him, but true to form, Sasuke kept his cool.

He just prayed that he wouldn’t have to use this gun. “Just in case”? What the hell did “just in case” mean? If it came to a quick draw and shoot, Sasuke could end up making a fool of himself in the best case scenario, and in the worst case scenario, dead.

Kabuto placed the gun in his hand at the very last instant, knowing that the only way to get Sasuke to accept it was to take him by surprise. Was Kabuto trying to frame him? At the moment, he wished he could fire it at Kabuto. Maybe bust in his knee cap or something of the like. He was sick of being left in the dark, sick of Kabuto’s mind tricks. It had been bad enough when Kabuto drugged him, but this was unprecedented.

The man behind the door was unhealthily thin, his face framed by long and greasy black hair. There were dark circle under his eyes, his chipped front tooth barely revealed through a smirk. He looked to be past forty years old, though it was difficult to judge his true age given how wizened his body was. Sasuke stood a couple feet behind Kabuto, and Orochimaru’s expression became guarded the instant he noticed Sasuke’s presence.

“Who’s this kid?”

Orochimaru cocked his head towards Sasuke skeptically, holding the door ajar with no more than a foot of space between. He clearly didn’t want Sasuke seeing whatever lurked behind it.

“Sasuke. He’s that new dealer of mine at Konoha with the Midas touch.”

A dealer? He hated the way it sounded. Orochimaru’s expression immediately flipped to a smile.

“I’ve been wanting to meet you, Sasuke. Come in.”

Sasuke had half expected Orochimaru to say something generic like “welcome to the jungle.” Well, this would make as good of a jungle as any. He only saw out of his periphery, assuming that blatantly staring, and presumably identifying the rooms’ inhabitants, would not be well received.

There was some…weird apparatus that looked like a chemistry set gone to hell in the room beyond, just close enough to make out the general form. The tubing had yellowed through use, and the flasks, some of which appeared to be substituted with pickle jars, were chipped and sullied with some kind of white residue. Meth? He didn’t know, and he was sure that staring would be a very unwise decision.

Furthermore, the way Orochimaru so quickly recognized his name disturbed him. He didn’t think about news of his undertakings would travel so. It was so compartmentalize it to his classmates and the Suna college customers. He hadn’t calculated for this, for having someone so deeply involved tracking him from afar.

What did Orochimaru and his crew know about him? He was getting pulled into things he wanted nothing to do with. He’d gone from peddling weed, underaged drinking, and petty theft to getting stuck shadowing a meth deal in some sketchy apartment with a lethal weapon shoved in his jacket.

The room was obviously unheated, a nervous sweat breaking out on Sasuke’s body and quickly cooling from the brisk air. As if his fever weren’t already giving him the chills…  He was glad his jacket concealed the goosebumps forming on his arms. He was counting down the seconds until he could get this damned gun away from him, go home, shower, down some orange juice, and change into warm pajamas.

Sasuke walked in, standing quietly with his hands neatly clasped.

“You don’t talk much, hm, Sasuke?” Orochimaru asked, his voice every bit as greasy as his hair.

“I talk when it’s called for.”

“That’s good. I don’t appreciate children who like to run their mouths.”

Another gun rested on the living room table, unwatched and strewn indifferently as the couch’s occupants fixated on the television. Sasuke took note of this, in the words of Kabuto, “just in case.”

“In that case, you won’t mind if we get down to business,” Sasuke answered.

He wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible, and the less information he shared, the better. He wouldn’t be rude, but he forbade his vulnerabilities to render him a pawn or a sitting duck. He would not hesitate to assert himself, which was a difficult task given that he had a cold .45 stuck on his body that he had no idea how to use and was in a room with seasoned drug dealers twice his age.

Orochimaru stared back at Sasuke expressionlessly, and it seemed as though he analyzed every feature of Sasuke’s face. Sasuke wouldn’t rattle that easily. Driven by Orochimaru’s intense gaze, several other pairs of eyes watched the business casually. Sasuke exuded both confidence and much more experience than he really possessed, and if anything, that image would be the thing to see him through.

Now Orochimaru clucked his tongue, appearing both impressed and amused at Sasuke’s audacity.

“Here.”

Orochimaru offered Sasuke one large bag of white crystals. It was just several sandwich bags of translucent shards combined into a standard gallon zip lock bag, which seemed awfully informal considering the quantities and finances at stake here. Still, Sasuke felt better off not knowing exactly what was in that bag. He would have rather avoided seeing it altogether.

“Kabuto will take it,” Sasuke answered, gesturing to his “partner.”

Like hell was he getting near that stuff. For all he knew, Kabuto would try to make him carry it the whole way home. It wouldn’t be so different from the stunt he had just pulled with the gun.

“C’mon, Sasuke. This is a good learning experience. Orochimaru taught me everything I know.”

“With all due respect, I’m alright with not knowing.”

He was inexperienced, yes, but he didn’t want to seem totally clueless. And he certainly wouldn’t come off as a stuttering, wide-eyed little kid, and thus vulnerable to attack. If he expressed anxiety and doubt, Orochimaru and Kabuto would see this as an opportunity to pressure Sasuke into joining them. Maybe he was in over his head, but Sasuke was no coward. He would hold his own the best he could. Again, Orochimaru’s eyes locked with his own.

“Then why are you here?” Orochimaru asked dangerously.

Well hell. This certainly wasn’t good. What was he supposed to say? That he was Kabuto’s fifteen-year-old bodyguard? He was under pressure, and he found that these were the times during which his brain worked the best. Currently, this was proving to be a very fortunate trait. He would not fluster.

“Kabuto wanted me to meet you, and I have.”

He sounded a great deal more confident than he felt. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so entirely out of his element. Other than Kabuto, he had to be the only person in this room under the age of thirty. He wasn’t dealing with bored students with too much time on their hands anymore. These were the people who made this stuff their career, who used it to feed themselves and pay their rent. Some of the people in this room could have been doing this for longer than Sasuke had been alive. If that weren’t enough to remind him of the severity of his situation, the cold metal on his trunk would take care of that. Nonetheless, he had to keep in character.

“Well…”

Orochimaru’s face seemed to shift from skeptical and guarded to obligatorily courteous, “It’s been pleasant, Sasuke. Here.”

He handed the supplies to Kabuto, who stuffed them in his backpack. He didn’t know the difference between the two chemicals they were picking up, but there seemed to be a hell of a lot of both them. Kabuto gave Sasuke a precounted wad of cash. Sasuke handed it over to Orochimaru, the man looking up at Sasuke closely as their hands brushed over the money. Orochimaru overextended his palm just slightly, the calloused meat of his palm dragging over the back of Sasuke’s.

“I _am_ interested in you, Sasuke. You’ve got talent and customers. I need someone…  Someone _young_ , particularly. You’d be surprised at the money you can make.”

Why would he need someone young? Most likely, he was trying to sell to high school and middle school students. They’d be more likely to buy from a fellow student than they would be from someone like…well, Orochimaru.

“I’ll take your word for it.”

This guy had a knack for giving him the creeps. Orochimaru nonchalantly ripped a page out of the paperback book on the coffee table and scrawled his name and number over the text. It was definitely odd behavior, but he was at least glad that Orochimaru hadn’t asked for _his_ phone number.

“I’ll give you five hundred bucks for your first sale. If you need the cash, call.”

Sasuke hid his shock expertly. Five hundred bucks? Could he afford to turn that down? On the other hand, things appeared to be getting dangerous very quickly. Even if his mind totally malfunctioned, which it had not, his gut would have made the decision for him. He had to get out as soon as possible.

“I’ll do that, thanks.”

And with that, they were out the door. Sasuke felt the temptation to take a deep breath and sigh, but he refrained. He wouldn’t let his guard down around Kabuto either. Kabuto turned back at Sasuke, patting him the shoulder and smiling.

“Holy shit, well done. You really kept your cool. I was right about you.”

Sasuke glared back at Kabuto.

“What? What’s wrong?” he asked innocently.

No. Enough. Kabuto could have gotten him imprisoned, or worse, killed. Sasuke pulled his fist back and slammed forward full force. His heart beat loudly, jaw grit shut in anger. It was coming back to him. This is exactly how he had felt when he’d broken Sai’s nose. His knuckles connected with Kabuto’s face. _Crunch_. His glasses hung, partially bent with one lens falling to the ground. Kabuto appeared nothing short of enraged. And that’s when he drove his fist into Kabuto’s stomach, followed by a swift uppercut.

Or at least, that’s what Sasuke had imagined. It had flashed behind his eyes in a blur, but the sophomore only stood rigidly, his teeth clenched. Every muscle in his body desired to act upon his imagination. He had no idea what Kabuto was capable of. Sasuke didn’t even know how to use the gun in his jacket. Though Kabuto may not have been aware of this, he’d at the very least know that Sasuke would be reluctant to use it. So Sasuke would use his brain this time around. Scanning the area for onlookers, he noted that the streets were completely empty.

“Take your fucking gun back.”

Sasuke shoved the weapon, point down, at Kabuto’s stomach. The safety was still on (or so Kabuto had claimed). Still, he took care with the trigger. One could never be too careful.

“Easy. Don’t go whipping that thing out.”

When Kabuto took the gun from him, Sasuke had the physical sensation of a weight being lifted off of his chest. He’d heard the expression before, but only now did he _really_ understand what it was referring to.

“The hell were you thinking? Does anything _other_ than bullshit ever leave your mouth?”

Kabuto rolled his eyes.

“Alright, Sasuke. I’ll be understanding and let you accusing me of lying, which I never fucking did, slide. I’m sure this has been a stressful night for you. But has anyone been hurt? Are you getting arrested now?”

_You say you’ve never lied to me? Bullshit._

Sasuke kept his silence. Of course Kabuto had lied to him. How else could he have gotten Sasuke in that situation? Sasuke combed over all relevant events in his head, searching for the point where Kabuto had fed him false information. He found none.

Kabuto had gotten Sasuke to supervise a large meth and crack deal in a drug den, armed with a gun, without uttering a single falsehood. That disturbed Sasuke to his core. Kabuto’s only tool was manipulation.

And Sasuke had been played.

“You’re damned lucky we’re not dead, because if people had started shooting, we’d have been fucked.”

Sasuke paused.

“Are you so stupid as to enlist a fifteen-year-old bodyguard? Don’t insult my intelligence.”

A smirk had formed on Kabuto’s face, and it didn’t falter.

“Why? Why did you bring me here? Why did you hand me that gun? What’s in it for you?”

Kabuto stared at Sasuke for a moment, calculating his response.

“It was a test.”

“A test for what?” Sasuke shot back.

“A test of your true potential, to see what you’re capable of. And Sasuke, you passed with flying colors. I’m impressed that-”

“Shut up,” Sasuke interrupted, having trouble controlling himself now. “Do you seriously think you’re fooling me with this flattery? Don’t underestimate me.”

Kabuto was already at it again. He was already trying to wrap Sasuke in. And sometimes he could see Kabuto’s manipulative behavior like he’d shown a flashlight on it. But it was a false sense of security. He wouldn’t have come here tonight if it weren’t.

“How can you be so ungrateful? I brought you here because Orochimaru is how I got my start. I can’t sell all the stuff he brings through, so I was giving you a chance to take the remainder and run with it,” Kabuto clucked his tongue. “Do you want to take care of your brother or not?”

Sasuke took a step towards Kabuto, his jaw clenched shut.

“Don’t you _dare_ say a single word about my brother,” he spoke slowly and quietly to Kabuto, his voice trembling with rage.

Kabuto sighed, shaking his head.

“Look, I think we’re getting off track.”

“No,” Sasuke continued. “I told you from the beginning that this was temporary. I don’t want your ‘opportunities.’”

“Because you’re being a coward,” Kabuto answered. “You don’t want to do what it takes for your family. But you’re capable of so much more.”

For a moment, Sasuke was speechless. Kabuto’s words cut… A coward. He had been afraid tonight.

“You and I both know you’re a violent person,” Kabuto said calmly. “I see the rage and intensity in your eyes right now. You want to spill my blood on the pavement right now, don’t you? Because you know I’m right.”

He couldn’t deny it. He couldn’t deny that he was imagining forcing Kabuto to put his teeth on the curb and stomping his face in. He wanted to break his bones, because Kabuto had manipulated him, and he was trying to do it again. He had _dared_ to speak of his brother. He wanted to watch Kabuto suffer and smile the whole time, basking in his pain. This was the darkness in him.

“But I see in you a person who does what needs to be done, even if it’s dirty work. You’re different from the others. I know, because I’m the same way. No matter how tough they talk, they can’t pull the trigger. But you could,” Kabuto began to laugh. “And you _know_ it!”

He hated when Kabuto talked to him like this. Like he was trying to understand Sasuke, or identify with him. He knew that the two of them were nothing alike.

“You’re right,” Sasuke answered with an eerie calm. “Right now I feel like taking that gun back and shooting you in the knee. I feel like throwing you out of a car into a ditch, or pulling out your teeth one by one. I can be dark. I can be a bad person. And yes, I could pull the trigger.”

Kabuto looked victorious, as if this were exactly what he wanted to hear.

Perhaps he really was a violent person, as Kabuto said. He could only attempt to hide this, for the sake of the things that really mattered to him. He had people he needed to be around for.

“But like hell will I let it take me over. I don’t _want_ to pull the trigger. And if you ever put me in a situation where I have to, I can’t promise I won’t aim at you.”

Kabuto opened his mouth to answer, but Sasuke interrupted again, his voice still perfectly calm, authoritative even.

“I don’t want to hear it.”

For once, Kabuto had no retort.

“Yakushi, I am _not_ your puppet. Do you understand? It will be a problem for both of us if you get confused.”

Kabuto paused for a moment. Then he chuckled, as if Sasuke were just being obstinate.

“Christ, Sasuke, don’t be so dramatic!” he said with an eye roll. “The gun was just a precaution. No one’s hurt, no one’s in trouble. Everything’s fine!”

Sasuke didn’t see a point in distinguishing what happened from what _could_ have happened. He was sure that there were many things about this situation which he still did not know, but he knew enough to realize that this uncomfortably brisk Thursday night could have been his last.

And as far as he was concerned, Kabuto did not answer his question when he asked him why he’d wanted Sasuke to do this. He’d contradicted his intent in the same situation. One moment he said the gun was a mere precaution, the next he insinuated that Sasuke was made for violence, that he could kill.

“Give me the money.”

There was nothing left for him to say, nor was there anything Kabuto could say that would interest him.

Kabuto crossed his arms as he pulled out a wad of cash for Sasuke.

“Don’t be a bitch. Look, next time I’ll fill you in, okay?”

Sasuke shoved the money in his pocket.

“Who says there’s a next time?”

And with that, Sasuke pivoted and stormed off into the brisk night air with four hundred bucks in his pocket and goosebumps still speckling his arms.


	33. Chapter 33

Sasuke stormed down the streets for the next mile. He’d been so angry that he had walked right past his bus stop, which was fine with him. As badly as he had wanted to go home earlier tonight, he needed his privacy now. He knew that Naruto would be asking him questions the instant the door opened, maybe trying to start some meaningless conversation or shower him in affections. Normally, that was just fine. It was what they did. Just not tonight.

Telling Naruto would achieve nothing. But how could he speak to Naruto after everything that had just happened? How would he be able to pretend that this had just been as boring of a night as any? He’d promised Naruto though… Promised he’d tell him if he was in danger. But he wasn’t, was he? At least not anymore.

Without his knowledge, his steps had slowed. He glanced down at his cell phone, noting that it was barely ten. It seemed uncanny that so much could happen within such a short time frame, but then again, if anyone could appreciate this concept it would be Sasuke.

Even knowing that he had nearly three miles ahead of him, Sasuke began to wander. He’d made the decision now to walk rather than bus home. He knew that Itachi wouldn’t be setting foot inside their home for days, if not weeks, so this was a safe decision in those regards. The walk would certainly do nothing for his sickness, but he couldn’t face Naruto just yet. Why did the thought of lying to Naruto make him feel so badly? Who would it hurt, anyway?

As he moved onward, the area began to clear up. He reached a familiar gas station, which, for all its triviality, reassured him. The red lights hung on the clean windows, advertising cigarette cartons for $45 and hot dogs for a buck. As the anger abated, so too did his adrenaline. He was safe now, comforted by familiar territory. Now that the crisis had been averted, his mind ran its course.

His last words to Kabuto replayed in his mind. “Who says there’s a next time?” He could hear the certainty in those words now as well as he had when he spoke them. Yet he had acted out of anger, and perhaps uncharacteristically, without thought. _Did_ there have to be a next time?

He hadn’t committed himself. In fact, he’d sold his entire inventory yesterday. He had timed it so that he could make his decisions based on the way tonight progressed. It would be simple to just tell Kabuto that he wasn’t interested anymore. …Well, theoretically.

But his brother was still in the hospital. In fact, Itachi found their financial situation so worrisome that he had knowingly postponed his surgery for those purposes. And what about the aftercare? The expensive medication, food, rent… He wanted Itachi to get the best treatment he realistically could. After all that Itachi had done for him, making a few sacrifices for his brother was the least he could do. He had to start pulling weight.

Then again, if he were in Itachi’s position, he would never want his brother doing this for his sake. If Sasuke were imprisoned or even killed, then wouldn’t it be Itachi who ended up alone? How would it benefit Itachi to recover, only to be broadsided with a fistful of Sasuke’s legal issues? How badly would it hurt Itachi to lose very last family member he had? What would happen to Naruto if Sasuke wasn’t around to take care of him? These fears had appeared ill-grounded to Sasuke, but after tonight, they seemed realistic.

These were the thoughts that feuded against each other between his ears. He wasn’t used to feeling so uncertain. Which thoughts were dictated by logic, and which by emotion? This was something Sasuke was ordinarily wonderful at figuring out. But between tonight and Itachi’s recent close call, he was overwhelmed.

He was forced to admit this to himself, but he’d tell no one else. He’d denied this all along, but the situation he was in now, this internal conflict… He had miscalculated. He knew that admitting this to himself and recognizing it as a weakness was the only way he’d remain rational.

He reached the intersection preceding his house, crossing the street as he finally reached his block. His sneakers pat the ground, one haphazardly after the next. He soon enough reached his door, and a part of him wished he hadn’t. The lights were on. He daydreamed about this when he was in Kabuto’s apartment, looking forward to the warmth, comfort, and safety of his lover and his home. Yet this had become the second door he dreaded opening tonight. He turned the knob.

“Where the hell were you, bastard?”

Sasuke spaced out. Dammit, he thought he’d talked himself through this. Of course, he’d done amazingly in Orochimaru’s apartment, where someone in his situation could’ve very understandably pissed themselves. It made this look like easy sailing.

“I’m only a couple hours late,” came his delayed response.

Naruto was still in Sasuke’s outfit, one of his nicer long sleeved shirts with some standard jeans. His hair was a wreck, and paint splattered on his shoe. Naruto was wearing a hat that he didn’t recognize.

“So, how was your little playdate with your friend?”

Sasuke grunted. What had he promised Naruto again? That he’d tell him if anything big happened? Sasuke seemed uninvolved, but the fact that it was unintentional this time worried Naruto.

“Ah…  Is everything okay, Sasuke?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, good. What were you guys doing? Weren’t you going to watch that movie at his house? Oh, that…  Right! Resident Evil. I didn’t even know you liked movies like that, but like…  Well, whatever.”

Sasuke watched Naruto dully, a little more annoyed by his chattering than was his custom.

“But really, what were you doing? Did you really watch Resident Evil? Did you get anything to eat? Did you bring me back any treats? Oh! Did you go to…”

Sasuke’s head ached, his eyelids burned, and his mind refused to slow. And now, all this chattering, the words falling from Naruto’s mouth grating his eardrums and outrunning his distracted mind’s ability to process…

“Can you not pounce me like a fucking dog the instant I get home for once?” Sasuke snapped.

Naruto silenced immediately, staring downwards. He would’ve preferred that Naruto yell back at him, and he was honestly surprised that he hadn’t. Sasuke wasn’t stupid; he knew he’d hit an insecurity. Maybe Naruto did act a little bit too much like an excited puppy when he came home. Yet if this were the case, he had just kicked said puppy square in the face.

“Fine, like I care anyway…” Naruto grumbled.

He couldn’t blame Naruto, really. To an extent, Sasuke could say he understood. He knew what it was like to spend his days in this empty house. But he had obligations elsewhere. Although most people involved meant little to him, he had things to occupy his time. No wonder Naruto was stir crazy and starved for attention. Sasuke exhaled softly.

“Sorry…  It’s not you. Just a long night.”

Naruto nodded, still appearing rejected. So Sasuke would make his true feelings known through a more effective medium: food.

“Hungry?”

Naruto nodded again, and Sasuke smirked. This was familiar. Naruto had a way of calming him, and only now was he beginning to really relax. He could just pretend like tonight had never happened. But what had happened the last time he’d tried to leave Naruto out in the dark? And more importantly, hadn’t he made a promise?

“C’mon. Let’s finish off the spaghetti.”

Naruto followed Sasuke with a smile.

“Did everything go well at the center?”

Naruto nodded frenetically.

“Everything went great! There’s this girl named Sandy, and she’s seventeen but has this boyfriend who’s twenty-six! Her parents really don’t like it, but she’s going behind their backs. I hope she doesn’t get pregnant…”

Naruto trailed off, appearing contemplative for only an instinct before jumping to the next topic with equal enthusiasm.

“Then there’s this guy named Franco who’s had five wives. Five wives, Sasuke! And six brothers! Franco gave me this hat, see!”

He pointed up enthusiastically at his head.

“Fascinating,” Sasuke answered dully. Naruto was still grinning like an imbecile.

“So, what did they have you doing there?” Sasuke asked idly.

Naruto merely chuckled.

“You don’t wanna know. But here, have forty bucks.”

He plopped the money in Sasuke’s palm, grinning proudly. Sasuke knew how Naruto must’ve felt at the moment. To feel so helpless, then to finally contribute _something_ , even if it was small…  It felt wonderful.

“Thanks,” Sasuke stated with a weak but genuine smile.

As the two of them approached the kitchen, Sasuke coughed. Naruto glanced over at Sasuke, analyzing his features fully now. He was looking rather pale, with dark bags beneath his eyes. Naruto flipped his hand and placed his palm on Sasuke’s forehead.

“Holy crap, dude! You’re burning up!”

“Am I?”

“Yes! Get your ass in bed!”

“That’s unnecessary.”

“Remember what happened when you tried to make the bus? I’ll kick your ass again, so help me Gandhi.”

He sighed. Gandhi? What the hell? He’d missed Naruto after all.

“Gandhi was a pacifist.”

But Naruto’s hands were already feeling his forearms, fingers, and nose.

“You’re freezing! How long were you outside?”

“I walked home.”

“What?! When you’re sick like this?” Naruto paused, eyeing Sasuke now as the sophomore merely grunted. Naruto continued, “I knew I shouldn’t have let you go!”

Sasuke smiled back at Naruto dryly, finding the statement thoroughly ironic. He pressed his fingers between Naruto’s furrowed brows. Naruto had not the slightest clue.

“Worry wart.”

Naruto was literally dragging him to their bedroom, and Sasuke didn’t fight him. He was dead tired, although equally hungry.

“You’d better feed me if you’re going to drag me up here,” Sasuke grumbled.

“Alright, alright.”

Sasuke closed his eyes the instant his head hit the pillow. It felt amazing; it was what he’d been wanting ever since he left the hospital to attend to “business.” Still, he doubted that he could sleep. Every time there was calm, his mind would begin to wander.

Was he wrong? Or was he just doing what he had to do? What would happen if they lost the house? If he couldn’t get Itachi medicine he needed? If Itachi lost Sasuke because he could no longer take care of him in a way the courts deemed appropriate?

But was he putting himself in danger? What would happen to Itachi if he got hurt or imprisoned? How could he help Itachi from juvie? He had so narrowly avoided it just months ago. What if he ruined his own life? Could he really call that helping Itachi?

Naruto left for the kitchen and soon came up with a bowl of chicken noodle soup.

“You were down there for a good half hour, and you come back with soup?”

Naruto laughed sheepishly and loudly, rubbing the back of his neck with his palm.

“Well, I kinda…tried to cook you something, but…  It didn’t really go… _exactly_ as I planned?”

Sasuke stared at him flatly for a few seconds before snickering.

“Just clean it up, because I don’t think I can.”

He was starting to feel pretty dizzy, actually.

“Of course.”

Naruto sat the bowl down on Sasuke’s bedstand, and Sasuke slowly took his first bite of noodles. Only then did he realize how hungry he’d been. Right, he’d forgotten to eat today. The room was silent other than the sound of Sasuke quickly following one spoonful with another.

“Hey, Sasuke…”

“Yeah?” he asked between bites.

“Were you…just in a bad mood because you’re sick?”

Sasuke shrugged.

“According to you, I’m always in a bad mood.”

“Yeah, but you were pretty bitchy even by your standards.”

The Uchiha rolled his eyes.

“You’d be too if your voice made you sound like you swallowed thumbtacks.”

“Yeah,” Naruto laughed, “I guess so.”

He took another bite, this time slowly chewing to fend off nausea.

“Naruto…” Sasuke trailed off. “I’m going to stay home tomorrow.”

Naruto’s face dropped momentarily. Each day Sasuke stayed home from school had taken every ounce of Naruto’s persuasiveness, and sometimes some brute strength to boot. And now Sasuke was _volunteering_ to stay home? Something was off.

“Finally you’re making sense, bastard. I can’t wait to pamper you.”

“You worry too much.”

“You do things that make me worry too much.”

Sasuke’s breathing slowed as he finally finished his soup. He was full now, and he felt stronger. Naruto appeared indecisive as the silence lengthened, disturbed by it as was his practice.

“Sasuke, what happened tonight?”

Naruto asked as if there had been no doubt in his mind. For all he knew, Sasuke could’ve just been irritable because he was sick. Sasuke wondered how his lover knew the difference.

He stared at Naruto. Would he lie now?

“I think… This whole business…”

Naruto perked up.

“Never mind,” Sasuke stated with a frown, facing away from Naruto.

Naruto, however, would hear none of this. Was Sasuke reconsidering? Naruto wouldn’t let an opportunity like that slip.

“Nuh uh, don’t think so.”

“What?”

“Uzumaki Naruto does not accept ‘never mind.’”

Sasuke scoffed. He didn’t want to finish his thought. He didn’t want to be committed to a decision, though he reluctantly realized that this type of pressure was just what he needed. And who better to administer it than Naruto? Still, it didn’t make him any less reluctant.

“I just have some thinking to do.”

Sasuke’s eyes fell to his hands for only an instant before they looked up directly at Naruto’s face. Naruto had been waiting to hear these words from Sasuke for weeks now. He knew just what Sasuke was talking about. He understood why Sasuke felt like he needed to deal drugs, though he thought it was a stupid idea from the start. He constantly worried for Sasuke. What if he got caught? What effect would this have on Sasuke’s future? More selfishly, Naruto feared that he might never see Sasuke again.

Naruto didn’t know whether he was more relieved or more shocked, and this was definitely made evident by his facial expressions. The words felt very heavy leaving Sasuke’s mouth. It was a bold statement for him to make, and he felt that in doing so, he was giving up on fighting for his brother.

“It’s about time you did some thinking,” Naruto grinned.

Sasuke rolled his eyes in response.

“Why now though?” Naruto asked, tilting his head. “Did something happen tonight?”

He promised he’d tell Naruto if anything “big” happened. He’d given his word. But had he been wrong? Everything he was doing… Should he stop?

He couldn’t trust himself. That’s what it boiled down to. The thought of losing Itachi had made him too emotional. He’d allowed himself to be manipulated by Kabuto and ended up in what could have been a disastrous situation. Giving information meant losing control, and Sasuke loathed doing that. He could at least take solace in the fact that he could choose Naruto.

“It was more what _could_ have happened.”

Naruto sat down next to Sasuke on the bed, petting his forehead. At times like this, he seemed so maternal. As frequently as Sasuke wanted to resist it, it comfortably reminded him of something he now missed.

“Tell me about it.”

“I’m not going into details, but…  I have to stop before something bad happens.”

A loud groan, and Naruto dramatically lifted his head up, rubbing his temples.

“Why would you do this to me?”

“Hm?”

“’I’m not going into details,” Naruto mocked Sasuke with his best caricature. “You know what my imagination is doing right now, right? Like I’m picturing people shooting at you and some sort of fucking massacre. Maybe a high speed pursuit in there somewhere. Who did you kill today, Sasuke?”

 “You’re so weird.”

“God, you’re always so secretive and…annoying. Just tell me what happened and save me from myself.”

Sasuke hesitated. Naruto’s curiosity and concern were both phenomenally obvious, and Naruto probably was unaware of how close his face was to Sasuke’s. He’d probably just pester Sasuke until he spilled the beans anyhow. With that vague reference, Sasuke had already reached the point of no return. At this point, why not save the hassle? He let out a breath that his lungs had held onto so insistently.

“I was supposed to meet this higher up guy who makes his own stuff. They paid me four hundred bucks just to show up. I get there, and just before I enter the building, this guy shoves a gun in my hand.”

Naruto’s eyes bulged so dramatically that Sasuke was tempted to laugh.

“A gun?! Like a _real_ gun?”

“A Nerf Supersoaker, specifically.”

Naruto made several horribly unsuccessful attempts at speaking.

“A .45.”

Naruto seemed to have gone beyond worry, his jaw quivering.

“I never had to use it,” Sasuke assured. “We basically exchanged some cash for some drugs I didn’t even recognize were on our way.”

“Why the hell did you take it?!” Naruto nearly shouted.

“He did it at the last minute. By the time I processed what it was, the door was opening. So I just had to stuff it.”

“Oh my god…”

Sasuke covered his eyes with his hand and sighed.

“What are you looking so shocked for? I thought you were imagining shoot outs.”

“I was lying!” Naruto shouted, flailing his hands in the air.

Sasuke tsk’d and punched Naruto in the arm, a little rough but not enough to cause real pain.

“Asshole.”

Of course Naruto was lying. But was it really that much of a stretch? Naruto did worry about him far more than was necessary. It was reasonable to suspect that his imagination had run away with him. Naruto frowned, wringing his hands together. He glanced over at Sasuke, then the wall, then his hands, then back to Sasuke.

“That could’ve been really bad, Sasuke.”

He motioned Sasuke to lie down, his soup long gone. The Uchiha shivered as Naruto tucked him under the covers.

“I know,” Sasuke answered slowly, “But in the end, it wasn’t.”

Naruto’s voice was louder when he responded, his frustration evident, “You always say stuff like that. If you keep thinking that way, it’ll catch up with you for sure.”

Sasuke frowned. Naruto knew that if he tried to force Sasuke to stop what he was doing, Sasuke could easily find a way to circumvent him. It would only make Sasuke obstinate and get him nowhere in the end. Regardless, it was so tempting to forcefully bludgeon some sense into Sasuke.

“I promised him I’d take care of him. I can’t go back on my word.”

Yet Naruto sensed his uncertainty. Was it really possible that he could change Sasuke’s mind? What could he say to win him over?

“You have to remember why you’re doing everything you’ve been doing: for your brother. So how do you think your brother will feel when his only remaining family member is in jail or dead? That’s more important than any promise.”

Sasuke was still, listening to Naruto’s every word.

“You are his _only_ family. Do _not_ leave him.”

Sasuke sighed deeply before resting his face in his hand.

“Fuck…”

Had he ever felt this conflicted before? He felt that giving up was weakness, cowardice, and selfishness. But if his actions ended up hurting more than they helped in the end, what was the point? He rubbed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and pointer finger. The skin was hot. His body temperature had risen with the cold night air, and his mind ached from all this thought.

“I suppose it would defeat the point if Itachi gets out of the hospital and has no one to take care of him.”

This too would break his promise to take care of Itachi. The stakes had elevated. Naruto had a point: leaving Itachi alone might be one of the worst things Sasuke could do to him. He remembered what Itachi had said as Sasuke questioned him in his hospital room:

_When I am happy, you’re the reason why._

Naruto tried not to stare, as he knew this might cause Sasuke to retreat. What was happening? What was Sasuke thinking?

“But how can I leave him if he dies first?” Sasuke mumbled, his voice barely audible.

“I know…” Naruto said quietly. “But that has nothing to do with money.”

It made him feel sick. When it came down to what was really important, Itachi’s life, Sasuke was completely powerless. At least when he was dealing, he felt like he was helping his brother in some way. Like there was at least _something_ he could do. Could he really give up? It seemed inconceivable.

No matter what he did, he couldn’t save his brother from what was to come.

“Sasuke,” Naruto frowned, leaning over Sasuke as he ran his hands through Sasuke’s bangs, tucking them behind his ear. His forehead was so hot… “Don’t let fear control you.”

He gritted his teeth. _Fear_? Wasn’t he too strong for such a thing?

“I’m not afraid. I just…”

Sasuke had considered straightening up to be the _real_ sign of fear. He started selling hoping to be brave and selfless, to care for someone other than himself for once. This is why he refused to give up, refused to be dissuaded by doubts regarding his health and legal record.

And it was true that he wanted Itachi to live a long, healthy life. He wanted him to see more than the chaos and misery of the past year. He wanted to take the stress of finding the money off of Itachi, given that he had already taxed Itachi’s very limited energy so much.

Yet from the very beginning, his decisions had been biased by the intensity of his anxiety, and yes, his fear. Insidiously and slowly, it had derailed his ordinarily sound sense of logic and reason. He was still selling for Itachi. But perhaps more so, he was selling because the thought of being alone scared the living shit out of him, and being powerless tormented him. And so, in the end, he had succumbed to fear without even realizing it.

He had believed he was too strong and smart to allow emotions to slant his decisions. Perhaps this was arrogant and naïve, believing that he was above the common population in such a way, but Sasuke held himself to higher standards. It was perhaps time to reevaluate his plan of action, but his pride refused to let him acknowledge that Naruto was right.

Sasuke turned away from Naruto, rolling onto his side in a gesture that might appear childish. Naruto knew that his words had penetrated.

“Yeah…” Sasuke answered simply.

“Yeah what?”

Naruto’s voice was patient, delicately encouraging him to continue.

“It’s bullshit.”

“Promise me that you’ll stop.”

Silence. Could he really make that commitment? He didn’t want to again make the mistake of promising things he wasn’t sure he could deliver. It was dangerous. But perhaps this would give him the strength to resist his temptations, even if only through a sense of obligation.

“…I’ll stop.”

“I’m proud of you, bastard,” Naruto stated, as if such a compliment were too sweet for Sasuke to take unspiced with his standard nickname.

“Don’t patronize me,” Sasuke grumbled.

Naruto merely snickered in response. He was trying to read whether Sasuke felt embarrassed by the compliment, or if he just needed Naruto to reassure him that he really deserved it. Of course, the generally blunt Sasuke could never directly request such a thing. And what did “patronize” mean, anyway?

“I’m serious. It was a tough decision.”

“It’s…unfortunate that I wasn’t able to do more for him.”

Naruto pursed his lips as he stared down at Sasuke, who peered back up at him. Every now and again, he’d catch glimpses of self-doubt, guilt, and uncertainty in Sasuke. It was rare, and he wondered how many people had seen this side of him.

“Sasuke, you’re fifteen years old and raised almost three thousand dollars. Itachi doesn’t even know about all the money you have stuffed away in your drawer.”

“And I could make five hundred more if I’d call the number in my pocket, but I won’t to save my own skin,” Sasuke interrupted.

“Whose number?” Naruto asked skeptically.

“It doesn’t matter,” Sasuke answered stubbornly. “The point is that I’m not doing it.”

“Dude, are you serious? You’ve gone beyond _anyone’s_ expectations. It still boggles my mind that you were able to come up with this much cash so fast, even if you had a dumb way of doing it.”

Sasuke grumbled, feeling both complimented and insulted at the same time.

“I don’t care what other people expect of me. I expected more of myself. I expected to keep my word,” he replied severely.

Naruto laughed.

“What the hell’s so funny?”

“I’m sorry. But sometimes it’s just a little funny how much you expect from yourself. You expect yourself to take care of both Itachi and me and afford living and medical expenses for all of us. Meanwhile, you send yourself to school with fevers and bloody shirts because God forbid you get a B. You act like you’re supposed to be superhuman or something.”

It seemed logical enough when it was phrased that way. But still, Naruto didn’t get it. Sasuke wasn’t just anyone. Perhaps he was again being arrogant, believing that he could not be compared to the rest of humanity. Regardless, these high expectations made him smarter, more diligent, and stronger. He hated it when people dismissed him as “just a kid.”

“Tch. I would never go to school in a bloody shirt. It’s _your_ fault that I couldn’t change.”

“I get this feeling that you’re missing the point,” Naruto answered as he scratched the back of his head.

 “Itachi could’ve done it,” Sasuke muttered quietly, looking towards the wall with a frown on his face.

“I don’t…think even Itachi could’ve done this. Sasuke, you’re stopping because you’re being _smart_ , not a coward. I know you want to save your brother and live by your promise, but if you end up in juvie, or even worse, you break your promise too.”

Sasuke allowed Naruto’s words to sink in. Guilt and fear had hijacked his thoughts up to this point, but Naruto strengthened his resolve.

He nodded. He was glad he told Naruto. Naruto was stubborn enough to make sure he quit for good.

 “I’ll tell Kabuto that I’m out for good the next time I see him,” Sasuke said. “It’s over now.”

He was frightened by the future, angry with himself for giving up. Yet in some ways he felt relieved. He could do away with all of this. No more stealing, no more parties, no more dealing…

He could never become the person he was before the fire. That former version of himself had been obliterated beyond resurrection. But at the very least, he could progress towards the goals he’d held since childhood. He could go back to life before the fire as best he knew how. He felt free.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear that. You’ve got one proud boyfriend.”

No one knew the whole story…  That is, no one other than Naruto. He kept thinking to himself that as proud as his brother was, as impressed as his friends seemed to be, that if anyone knew the whole story they would feel nothing but disappointment towards him. Sasuke wasn’t one to be affected by praise; after all, he’d been eyes deep in it his entire life. However, this time, it mattered.

Naruto leaned downwards, his now smooth lips gently brushing against Sasuke’s. The paler boy looked up at Naruto and smiled. Naruto kissed Sasuke once more, gently. His resolve and Naruto’s strength of will put Sasuke's conflict to rest, and he finally relaxed in its absence. His eyelids began to droop, and he drifted off to a deep sleep.


	34. Chapter 34

Sasuke’s alarm clock announced itself, a familiar Avenged Sevenfold song jarring both boys out of slumber. It was six in the morning, and Sasuke planned on getting to the hospital before eight. Dr. Sannin told Sasuke that staff would take Itachi back to prep for surgery by about half past nine. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, quickly getting out of bed.

It was just over one week ago that Itachi had been admitted to the hospital. It hadn’t taken long for Itachi’s fever to leave him, and Sasuke’s was nearly gone as well. Every day Sasuke came to see his brother, he had a little more life in him. Now the TV was usually on when he entered Itachi’s room. His IV pumped hydration, nutrients, and medication into his body.

When Sasuke came to visit him the day before yesterday, Itachi told him that his surgery had been scheduled. Dr. Sannin seemed to have made her decision to operate quickly. He was hopeful yet anxious, and Sasuke did his best to allow the former to conquer the latter.

The last number Sasuke recalled reading on his alarm clock before slumber was 4:38. Thoughts of today’s events kept him tossing and turning, and he was constantly estimating the exact number of minutes until today’s big event. Naruto grumbled as Sasuke had already begun to dress, yawning as he sat up in bed.

“Go back to sleep, Naruto.”

Instead, Naruto stood as he yawned and cracked his neck, sifting through Sasuke’s closet.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m coming with you,” Naruto said with a stubborn smile.

Sasuke arched a brow. Naturally, Naruto waited until the morning of to inform Sasuke of this. Naruto knew how to get his way.

“No.”

“Yup.”

Sasuke emitted a frustrated sigh. There was no logical justification for this. It was a risk with no _real_ gain. Sasuke would be fine, of course. Why would he need someone to be with him? He could deal with the situation just fine by himself.

 “We’ve got social workers, Itachi, and doctors all in one place. If just one of them recognizes you…”

 “And how’s Itachi gonna find me, huh? A sixth sense and a wheelchair with jets?”

“Dr. Sannin could mention that I was with someone,” Sasuke told Naruto in a low voice, sounding a little annoyed.

Naruto frowned.

“Sasuke, I’m not letting you go alone.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“If I need moral support that desperately, I’ll call you. What’s the difference?”

“I’m going.”

“Why?”

What Sasuke had said when Itachi was first admitted had not slipped Naruto’s memory. Sasuke’s last remaining family member was having an operation in the same hospital Sasuke’s father had died in last year.

“Because I said so.”

Sasuke resented the clichéd explanation, sick of being spoken to like a child. Still, he would appreciate Naruto’s presence. Naruto knew Sasuke well enough to realize that he would never accept such a luxury without it being forced upon him. Sasuke was more torn up than he’d admit, and the surgery was forecasted to take up to three hours.

“If you get in trouble, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

But Naruto merely grinned back at him. While they were getting ready, Sasuke was silent. As they waited for the bus, still, Sasuke was silent, every one of Naruto’s attempts at conversation dying on the vine. When the proper bus arrived, Sasuke merely indicated with a cock of his head. They sat together at the back, Naruto yawning.

“How are you holding up, S’uke?”

“I’m fine,” he answered curtly.

Naruto stared at Sasuke closely, catching Sasuke’s eyes an instant before Sasuke looked out the window.

“C’mon,” Naruto whispered, though the bus’s noisy rumble would have made him inaudible to any eavesdroppers regardless. “Talk to me.”

“What did you want me to say?”

“What’s going through your head? I haven’t gotten a word from you.”

“How do you think I feel?” Sasuke snapped, sick of being prodded.

While Sasuke naturally feared that the surgery could have complications, it wasn’t a surgeon’s fatal mistake that most concerned him. Rather, what if they didn’t get the whole tumor? What if it had spread beyond what they’d seen on the CT scans? Would Itachi need chemo now? Apparently, the surgery would tell them that.

But even still… What _if_ they severed a nerve? If Itachi hemorrhaged? Sasuke dismissed the thoughts. They were unlikely. But it was true that whatever they found in there would tell them a lot about what the months ahead had in store for Itachi, and possibly how much longer he’d be around to experience it.

“Hm…  Like a ball of nerves, I’d suspect,” Naruto replied, refusing to be fazed by Sasuke’s shortness.

Sasuke grunted in response, hardly acknowledging Naruto as he looked out the window. He didn’t want to be here. He wished he could skip time, go to a place where Itachi was healthy and this day just a distant memory. His lover was making detachment quite the difficult task. He was surprised when he felt Naruto’s hand grip his own, their fingers intertwining so suddenly. Naruto beamed at him.

“He’s gonna be okay, Sasuke, I know it. My hobo senses are tingling.”

The left side of Sasuke’s lips rose in what wasn’t quite a smile.

“We’re almost there,” he stated.

Naruto clasped Sasuke’s hand as they entered the hospital lobby. Sasuke reminded himself that he didn’t need it, that he could’ve done this alone just fine. Still, there was nothing shameful about finding comfort in it. They parted with a quick nod when Sasuke reached the elevator. He’d visit Itachi now.

Sasuke numbed himself as he rode the elevator and found his mind a perfect blank once he neared Itachi’s room. This had been his technique this morning, trying to avoid memories of what had happened here a year ago. He had hardly felt present in the bus, save for the warmth of Naruto’s hand grounding him. He opened the door to find Itachi looking better than ever.

“Good morning, Sasuke.”

“Morning.”

“How are you feeling?” Itachi questioned.

Sasuke tried not to look exasperated. Why was everyone asking him that? It was becoming white noise to him these days.

“I’m fine. You better have gotten a good night of sleep.”

“Slept like a baby. I haven’t felt this good in weeks, so I guess it’s fitting they’re going to cut me open in a couple hours.”

Sasuke wondered if Itachi was just trying to calm him.

“But you don’t look like you can say the same. You look like shit.”

“What, because I’m not decked out like you?” Sasuke answered, pointing to Itachi’s machinery.

Itachi chuckled quietly.

“I’m sure this will all be fine. Honestly, I’m more concerned about the things I might say when you talk to me afterward.” He frowned, his eyes knitting as he leaned towards Sasuke, speaking quietly as if he were surrounded by eavesdroppers. “I don’t remember a single word of that conversation we had.”

“Why?” Sasuke smirked. “What are you hiding?”

“Kesha was only the beginning, Sasuke.”

Despite how tense he’d felt all day, something in him felt light at the moment. He remembered what Itachi said when Itachi was drugged after being admitted to the hospital. He remembered him crying about that “Tik Tok” song that they both hated. As shitty as the situation was, at least Itachi afforded him some wonderful fodder for blackmailing when he was on pain meds. He wondered what would await him this time.

“I’ll protect you from Kesha at all costs.”

Itachi chuckled, and for several seconds, the only sounds in the room were those of nurses traversing the hall from outside and Itachi’s machines.

“I think you’re right, Itachi,” Sasuke spoke quietly, now looking into Itachi’s eyes. Although Itachi wouldn’t make it apparent, Sasuke was sure he would also benefit from a little reassurance. “You’re going to be fine.”

“Yeah…  I just feel dumb for getting myself here in the first place.”

“It _was_ dumb. But this surgery was unavoidable regardless.”

“You know, should the unthinkable happen…”

Sasuke frowned. “The unthinkable” didn’t deserve to be thought of, but that certainly hadn’t stopped his brain before.

“I’ve got something to get off my chest.”

“Last words?” Sasuke smirked, tilting his head. “That won’t be necessary. I’ll be back in your room by the time The Walking Dead comes on. We’ll watch it together.”

Sasuke was surprised at how confident he sounded, as he sat there nauseous with his hands sweating. He believed that Itachi would make it out of this alive. The real test was the time to come.

Itachi cast a light smile, which Sasuke returned. Despite Itachi’s efforts to hide his fear from Sasuke, he saw through it. And he knew that Itachi must see through his own fear too. He was too astute not to. Even though they were both afraid, they’d be brave for each other.

“It would make me feel better,” Itachi insisted.

“Alright.”

 “Do you remember Mr. Squooble?”

At such a time, Itachi mentions this? Of course Sasuke remembered Mr. Squooble. Mr. Squooble had been the second Uchiha pet, though the first one that Sasuke had selected himself. Mr. Squooble’s adoption proceeded that of a cat whom the six-year-old Itachi had named Ferret with no real explanation. Mr. Squooble was a product of his mother’s efforts to appease Sasuke’s jealousy at being the only household member never to choose their own pet. …Or at least the jealousy Mikoto believed she could perceive from her two-year-old son.

The stately hamster stood a mere four inches on his hind legs, a muddled mix of brown and white. His cage was located next to the television. Sasuke would spend commercial breaks watching Mr. Squooble run on his wheel, the light sound punctuating his favorite shows. Young Sasuke attempted to translate the squeaking sound of the quickly churning wheel to English, from whence the creature’s name was created. His mother joked that Mr. Squooble had become Sasuke’s favorite family member, the hamster frequently the subject of Sasuke’s drawings and chatter.

Sasuke perked a brow, quietly directing Itachi to elaborate.

“Remember how he kind of…er…died unexpectedly?”

“Yes?” Sasuke answered with suspicion.

Mr. Squooble lived a long life for a hamster, dying at nearly four years of age. Ferret had well outlived the hamster, as expected, but perished in the fire last year. What had bothered Sasuke was how quickly Mr. Squooble passed, transitioning from what Sasuke could only guess was perfect hamster health to a burial in a day.

“Well…  Mom told me that they were gonna start spraying the lawn with pesticide Thursday while I was at school, after which it wouldn’t be safe for Mr. Squooble. So Wednesday after school, I took him out on the lawn to enjoy while he could.”

Sasuke nodded.

“Except…  It wasn’t Wednesday after all. It was Thursday. I’d mixed up the days.”

“ _You_ killed Mr. Squooble?”

“I did,” Itachi sighed.

Sasuke couldn’t prevent the look of surprise on his face.

“I thought _I_ killed Mr. Squooble. I felt horrible!”

“To my defense, I _did_ tell you it wasn’t your fault.”

 “I thought you were lying to make me feel better!”

Sasuke had blamed himself for Mr. Squooble’s death on every level. It was for this reason that Sasuke refused to get another hamster until two years later. He did not wish to inflict his horrible pet ownership skills upon some innocent and unsuspecting rodent. Itachi frowned, his brows knitting together.

“I’m sorry, Sasuke. I should’ve told you, but you were _so_ upset. I felt so guilty I had nightmares on and off for weeks.”

Itachi thoroughly remembered his brother bawling on his mother’s skirt until near exhaustion, both brothers’ minds laden with guilt. Sasuke really had loved Mr. Squooble. Even at Sasuke’s young age, he trained the critter to stand, jump, and beg. Said training miraculously disappeared when no treats were present, though Sasuke would immediately withdraw should anyone draw attention to this. Indeed, Mr. Squooble had been a marvelous hamster.

“I wasn’t _that_ upset,” Sasuke grumbled.

“You were!” Itachi insisted. “You cried for hours…for _days_.”

“That’s an exaggeration. Besides, I wasn’t even six yet.”

Itachi shook his head.

“You refused to go to kindergarten the next day because you were too upset.”

Sasuke glanced at Itachi skeptically, “I don’t believe it.”

“You did. You had your face stuffed in a pillow all morning. The only time you took it away was to tell Mom in this dramatic voice, ‘Tell my teacher that there’s been a death in the family.’”

Sasuke still didn’t know whether he believed Itachi or not. This certainly didn’t sound like Sasuke’s standard behavior, or at least the memory Sasuke had of his own behavior. However, Itachi certainly was no liar.

“Sasuke…” Itachi said gravely, in all seriousness. “I really _am_ sorry for killing Mr. Squooble.”

Sasuke stared at Itachi quietly for a moment, the remorseful sincerity so evident on Itachi’s face. Then Sasuke shook his head, and then he began to laugh. How ironic that at such a time this would be the topic of their conversation. Sasuke’s steady laughter filled the room, soon followed by Itachi’s.

“Don’t laugh! It seems silly, now that we’re adults…” Itachi’s eyes caught Sasuke. “Well, _almost_ adults.”

Sasuke huffed. He believed himself to be far more adult-like than anyone gave him credit for.

“But that was seriously traumatic for a kid my age.”

“I forgive you for killing Mr. Squooble,” Sasuke said with a smile, leaning back in the chair with his arms crossed. “It was an honest mistake.”

“Thanks. I kind of miss Mr. Squooble. Ferret too. They were good pets.”

“Yeah…” Sasuke trailed off.

He’d leave this topic to involve only their pets, knowing that both of them were remembering what they most deeply missed.

“So,” Itachi continued, a knowing grin on his face, “Do you have anything to confess to me?”

Itachi’s confession had seriously been this? That he accidently killed a hamster a decade ago? Sasuke felt his conscience grow a little heavier. He had _plenty_ to confess to. In fact, should he do a proper job of it, he wouldn’t know where to start. Perhaps, in the unforeseeable future, Sasuke might issue a confession of his own. Regardless, now was not the time.

“Nope.”

Itachi chuckled, knowing full well that Sasuke must have _some_ dirt on his conscience. After all, of the two of them, Itachi had always been the better behaved. Still, Sasuke was confident that his older brother hadn’t a clue.

“Whatever you say.”

Sasuke glanced at the clock uneasily. Their time was running out.

“Yeah…  It _is_ getting late,” Itachi remarked, noticing Sasuke’s restlessness. Itachi was beginning to sound nervous, though no one but Sasuke could’ve detected this.

“I’ll be waiting for you out there the whole time. You’ll just close your eyes, and then I’ll be there to pester you when you open them.”

“Of course,” Itachi answered, as if there had never been a doubt.

Itachi’s slightly defensive tone led Sasuke to suspect that Itachi felt guilty that Sasuke was reassuring him yet again.

“Look… Whatever we find out after this thing is over… We’ll face it together. You can lean on me. I’m much stronger than you think.”

And it was true that even these past months had made him stronger. He’d gone so far astray. But he’d pulled himself back. He’d faced his fears and how clouded his judgement had been. He’d faced the truth, and it had been frightening. After this, he knew he could face whatever was to come with a clear mind and a tough heart.

But without Naruto… Sasuke had no idea where he would have been if not for him.

Itachi regarded Sasuke with both gratefulness and respect. He wouldn’t say it, but he knew that Sasuke had changed from the person he used to be just months ago. He had grown.

Sasuke and Itachi were silent now. Neither of the brothers was particularly verbose, though even more so at this time, words were unnecessary. They communicated silently, their presence more than enough for each other.

Finally, a nurse opened the door only to quickly say, “About five minutes ‘til prep.”

Itachi nodded, after which the nurse quietly shut the door. The silence resumed for a couple minutes, though Sasuke was first to break it. He was compelled to do so by a slippery dread in his chest that feared that would be his last time hearing Itachi’s voice.

“I’ll be waiting for you out in the lobby. When you’re out, I’ll come as soon as I can.”

“Alright.”

Sasuke refused to leave now. He would stay with Itachi until the last minute.

“Be tough. You got this.”

Sasuke’s tone was bossy, which he much preferred to it sounding frightened.

“I’m not going anywhere, trust me,” Itachi answered with a smile.

“I love you,” “get better soon,” the standard…  Those were all things they had already told each other with their silence. Each of the brothers knew how the other felt. The same silence passed until another nurse entered the room.

“Alright, Uchiha Itachi?”

“Yes.”

Sasuke’s heart quickened. In their shared silence, he had calmed himself, but now his hand grasped a concealed rod in Itachi’s hospital bed so tightly his knuckles whitened. It was time already?

“Okay, we’re going to take you back now.”

Sasuke let go of the rod reluctantly and inconspicuously. The nurse turned to Sasuke.

“Go ahead and wait in the hospital lobby. We’ll keep you updated.”

Sasuke wordlessly walked towards the door.

“Dr. Sannin is a wonderful doctor. Your brother is in good hands.”

“Good,” Sasuke stated simply, almost awkwardly. It was difficult to speak now, and god forbid his voice falter. “I’ll see you in a few, Itachi.”

“See ya.”

Sasuke sighed as he left the room, numbly walking towards the elevator. It would be best not to think about it if he had a choice in the matter. What good would worrying do at this point? He couldn’t even remember riding the elevator when he saw Naruto’s face again. Apparently Sasuke was now in the hospital lobby.

Naruto looked more nervous than Sasuke had, fumbling with his hands as Sasuke watched him from the other side of the room. He jumped up as Sasuke noticed him.

“How’d it go?”

“Fine.”

“Yeah? Did he get emotional?”

Sasuke shook his head.

“No, he doesn’t really do that,” Sasuke responded, pausing briefly. “But he did admit to accidentally killing our hamster.”

“That bastard,” Naruto answered with feigned shock.

Sasuke snorted.

“What about you?” Naruto asked, more quietly this time. “How are you?”

“You should know by now that I’m not the type to lose my head,” Sasuke mumbled.

“Yeah, I know, I know. Just checkin’ up on you.”

Sasuke had been irritable today, though it wasn’t as though Naruto could blame him. He could have never been so composed in this situation, though Sasuke expressed his stress in more unconventional ways. Sasuke merely nodded, quietly expressing gratitude.

Naruto would not demand conversation from Sasuke as the minutes passed. He wanted his presence to reassure Sasuke, not overwhelm him. He marveled at how Sasuke could sit still for so long without fiddling, especially in this situation. He wished he could fake calm half as well as Sasuke could. He wondered what Sasuke was thinking. Was Sasuke thinking anything at all? It almost seemed like his lover was no longer present.

Naruto continued to page through a nearby magazine, resigning himself to the least uninteresting article he could find. He glanced over at Sasuke, who had begun to slump slightly. His eyelids were lowered.

“Sasuke…”

Sasuke made no response.

“Sasuke.”

Sasuke jerked, turning over to Naruto.

“What?”

“Are you okay?”

Naruto’s voice had begun to blur, growing faint and then quickly louder, along with the sounds around them.

“Yeah…  I think so.”

Naruto quickly translated this to “no.”

“What’s up?”

Sasuke shook his head dismissively.

“I’m fine. Just a little light-headed.”

“How come?”

“I think it’s just hunger. It’ll pass.”

Naruto moved his head into Sasuke’s field of vision, refusing to be dismissed.

“And when’s the last time you’ve eaten?”

When _was_ the last time he’d eaten? The last time he remembered had been early yesterday morning, though he could’ve grabbed a small and forgettable snack since then. He had other things to worry about.

“How should I know?”

“Sasuke...” Naruto stated, tugging at Sasuke. Sasuke wouldn’t move. “C’mon, let’s get you something to eat.”

“I can wait until after I hear from the doctor.”

“This surgery is three hours, and we’ve only been here for like half an hour! We’ll just go for a few minutes.”

It was beyond the food at this point. Yes, Sasuke certainly needed to eat. The exhaustion was clear on his face, and Naruto’s anxious mind feared that Sasuke would even faint. But more than that, he thought that Sasuke needed to move and stretch his legs to get his mind operating. Sitting so still like this, bottling everything up at such a time…  That couldn’t be healthy.

“No.”

“Sasuke, seriously! You’re burning yourself out. C’mon, let’s just grab a pretzel or something. For me?”

“Whatever,” Sasuke sighed.

Naruto followed the signs towards the cafeteria, Sasuke following behind him. Generally, Sasuke was the one leading the way. Perhaps he was too drained to so this time?

“The food here is always shit,” Sasuke grumbled.

Naruto nodded quietly, noting that this was the first time Sasuke had referenced his history here. Of course, Sasuke could have been referring to a meal he’d eaten after Itachi had been admitted, but Naruto had a hunch that this wasn’t Sasuke’s intent.

“What hospital food isn’t?”

“This place has the hospital food to end all hospital food,” Sasuke stated as he followed Naruto. “But I assume a pretzel wouldn’t be that bad.”

Naruto was glad that Sasuke had begun to speak. Finally he seemed more like a person and less like a mannequin. Naruto was pleased when he reached into his pocket and had just enough change to treat Sasuke to a pretzel. Sasuke had done the same for him on many occasions, and he had long been waiting for the opportunity to repay him.

“You look like a moron right now,” Sasuke remarked, taking the pretzel and noting the large grin on Naruto’s face.

“This moron got you to eat, didn’t he?”

Sasuke grunted, biting into the rather dry and chewy pretzel, which tasted like salted Styrofoam. At least it was at least edible. He offered Naruto a bite.

“Nah, I’m good.”

Naruto hadn’t eaten this morning either, had he?

“Hypocrite,” Sasuke teased.

“Yeah, whatever,” Naruto responded playfully, ruffling up Sasuke’s hair.

Sasuke was already beginning to feel better as his blood sugar normalized. His headache seemed to dwindle as well.

“Dude, Sasuke…  Check out the tuna they’re serving. What the hell did they _do_ to it?”

Sasuke arched a brow, peering around strangers at the splintery fish.

“It looks like it’s made from plastic.”

“Ugh, god, you’re right. It does.”

“I wasn’t lying about the food here.”

“Damn, poor Itachi,” Naruto spoke, quickly cursing his brain for being outrun by his mouth. He looked at Sasuke nervously, and Sasuke instantly read Naruto’s thoughts.

“’S fine. I’ll just have to take him somewhere nice when he’s better.”

Naruto smiled at Sasuke, glad that he’d responded so optimistically.

“And cooking for him is out of the question?”

“I can’t cook that well.”

“Yeah, you can.”

“No, but compared to you I’m Iron Chef.”

“Bastard, I was giving you a compliment!” Naruto complained with a slight chuckle in his voice.

“How has that been working for you lately?”

“You’re such a fucking asshole. I don’t even know why I’m so smitten here.”

“But how could you not be?”

Sasuke was finally coming back to life, it seemed. Naruto began to laugh, relieved.

“Oh wow, Sasuke. Good question, ya smug little son of a bitch.”

Sasuke snickered, swatting Naruto’s hand away as the blond tried to yank at his ear.

“Seriously though, you should cook for him. Even if it’s not like…gourmet dining, I think he’d appreciate it more.”

He nodded, wondering if Naruto was really right about that. Sasuke wasn’t a _bad_ cook, but he believed that Olive Garden had him beat.

“Maybe.”

Sasuke looked at his watch. They’d been gone for almost ten minutes.

“I think we should get back.”

“Alright,” Naruto sighed. “But don’t be so stiff, okay? Relax.”

“I _am_ relaxed.”

“Dude, no you’re not. You looked like one of those British royal guards with the chimney cleaner hats that aren’t supposed to move.”

Sasuke was actually flattered by that. He was glad he’d kept his composure so well.

“If the whole doctor thing flops, you should really look into that as a life calling.”

“I’ll consider it,” Sasuke smirked.

After returning to his seat, Sasuke continued to effortlessly antagonize his boyfriend. As far as Naruto was concerned, this was a perfect success.

But their conversation fell to a rapid halt as they noticed a woman with a white coat and gargantuan breasts approaching. Sasuke hadn’t been expecting to see Dr. Sannin for at least another half hour. Why was she returning so quickly? Naruto followed Sasuke’s eyes towards the woman. Could _this_ really be Dr. Sannin?

Sasuke watched her closely, examining every motion, even her body posture to search for subtle signs of success or failure. He wished that Tsunade would walk more quickly, finding it difficult not to race up to her himself. Tsunade caught Sasuke’s eyes. She was smiling.


	35. Chapter 35

She was smiling? Naruto edged away from Sasuke, feigning unfamiliarity just quickly enough. Tsunade nodded at Sasuke, whose mind nimbly attempted to draw as much information from this limited interaction as it possibly could.

"You're back early."

Tsunade nodded.

"It went well, Sasuke.”

It was strange that only now did Sasuke realize how hard his heart had been pounding. He exhaled, feeling some tension leaving his body.

It took every particle of Naruto's scanty self-restraint not to break out into a fully formed grin. After all, as an uninvolved party, this news should mean little to him. He bit his cheek roughly as he pretended to check the clock on the opposite wall.

He was hardly able to see Sasuke's expression out of his periphery, but he was glad to at least gotten a quick, albeit blurry image. Though anyone else might not have thought twice about the mild smile on Sasuke’s face, it had been a long time since Naruto had seen this expression from him.

"What happened?"

"We went in and were able to get all of the tumor out, with minimal damage to the surrounding tissue. We’ve sent a few samples in for biopsy.”

Sasuke nodded, his innards performing some impressive acrobatics as he retained his typically removed appearance.

"So what happens from here?"

"If everything goes well with his recovery, we'll be able to send him home in a week. If the biopsies come back negative, we’ll be monitoring him bimonthly. If they come back positive, then we’ll have to reassess."

“Reassess?”

“It’s typically where we’d turn to chemo or radiation.”

Sasuke nodded, trying to take everything in and failing. He had wished to hope for something like this, but he would not allow his expectations to rise so high. Bimonthly monitoring… Of course relapses could happen, and this was by no means over. Nonetheless, Sasuke’s hope was strengthening.

“When will we get results for the biopsies?”

“It should be 2-3 days,” Tsunade answered.

If only they came out negative… Could the brothers really put all of this behind them?

"The nurse will bring you back when you can see him again. It should be about half an hour or so," Tsunade stopped to laugh. "Your brother really is a character, you know."

Sasuke's snicker bordered on a chuckle, his deep relief causing his emotions to bubble to the surface. He wondered what Itachi was saying  _this_  time. It appeared that Itachi's fear might have come to fruition.

"Alright. Thanks."

"I want you to make sure he sleeps and doesn't press himself," Tsunade ordered sternly.

"Of course."

"Alright. You still have my number?"

"Yeah."

"Call if you need anything. I'm here late tonight."

Tsunade exited without further ado, which Sasuke much appreciated. He painfully waited until Tsunade was gone to turn to his lover, unable to keep the smile off of his face. He hardly even caught sight of Naruto before the boy pounced him, hugging him roughly and swinging his body from side to side. Now that Naruto had been putting on weight and muscle, he really had gotten stronger.

"He's gonna be okay! I knew it!"

Sasuke was getting thrown about now, and he quickly jerked himself out of Naruto's hold.

"Stop it, dumbass!" Sasuke snapped, unable to sound severe, "You're gonna cause a scene."

"Oh my god… I was shitting bricks, S'uke. I didn't wanna tell you obviously."

A toddler openly gawked at the two boys as his mother smiled at them, soon after returning her attention to her celebrity magazine. Fortunately, she didn't mind the mild swearing.

"I could tell anyway."

"What?! I was seriously that obvious?"

"Only somewhat obvious," Sasuke shrugged.

"Dammit…"

It seemed that the nurse came so quickly to escort Sasuke back into the surgical recovery room. Sasuke was unable to tell Naruto goodbye. He felt much more confident as he traced the halls this time, excited to finally see his brother's victory for himself. The door creaked quietly as the nurse opened it fully.

All of Itachi's machines had been connected again, and he once again appeared weak and disoriented. Regardless of the positive outcome of the surgery and the fact that Sasuke could have expected nothing else, it was still difficult to watch. Itachi waved at the nurse with drooped eyes as she left. His hair was a tangled mess, but he didn't seem to be in any pain.

"Hey…" Itachi groused with a wide, sleepy smile.

"Hey."

"You're lookin' good," Itachi said, pointing to Sasuke. "How'd it go?"

Sasuke blinked, pausing for a moment before replying.

"What are you going on about? Shouldn't I be the one saying that?"

Itachi seemed very confused by this, his mouth hanging open slightly. He took his time to process Sasuke's response.

"Oh… I was thinking in my head that that would be what you would say to me when I saw you, but I guess I said it to you instead."

This seemed to be even worse than last time. Sasuke rolled his eyes, smiling.

"I guess so."

Itachi's breathing began to deepen, but Itachi jerked his eyes open again.

"So…" Sasuke said quietly. He wasn't sure when he'd be forced to leave, and he didn't want Itachi to find him missing unannounced after dozing off. He wondered if, as drugged as Itachi was, this would make him anxious.

"I didn't do it," Itachi urgently interrupted.

"You didn't do what?"

" _It_ ," Itachi emphasized, as if the alleged action were too horrible to speak of.

"You've lost me."

" _It_ _!_ " Tears began to obscure Itachi's eyes as he became distressed, his breathing quickening. "I didn't do it!"

"Okay, okay. You didn't do it."

A long strand of Itachi's hair fell over his temple as Itachi nodded, suddenly regarding Sasuke very seriously.

"I'd like you to know that I'm enjoying our time here."

Sasuke chuckled quietly. God, all the blackmail opportunities this would afford him…

"I appreciate that. I'd like you to know that I'm enjoying our time here too."

"'S been a pleasure doing business with you," Itachi mumbled. "Please drive through."

Sasuke rested his chin on his hand, shaking his head and covering his mouth as if trying to defeat a case of the giggles in the middle of class. If he could not refrain from laughing completely, he would at least keep it dignified. As well as Sasuke knew Itachi, seeing him do something like this was borderline hilarious.

Itachi's eyes flitted shut, and Sasuke found a seat in the corner of the room, far enough so as not to disrupt his rest. Sasuke leaned his head against the wall, now clearly noticing his own fatigue. Suddenly it became difficult to keep his eyes open.

"Sasuke?"

A nurse. They knew Sasuke by name now.

"Hm?"

"We're going to move him to his room now."

Sasuke followed, trekking past the rooms of others who might or might not have been as lucky as his brother. This wasn't the first moment of fire his family had endured through these halls, though he hoped it would be one of the last.

Itachi's new room was on the seventh floor, high above the hospital's other buildings and bound by faint blue walls. With a distant view of the ocean, it seemed like as good of a place to recover as any. Though there was still little Sasuke could do about the horrible food his brother would be forced to consume.

Sasuke stayed with Itachi for the next two hours in his new hospital room, watching the clouds move over a far off mountain and watching a pigeon on the windowsill groom himself as Itachi slipped in and out of slumber. For the first time in what seemed like a while, Sasuke was quite comfortable now, using their time to slump into his chair and relax rather than standing guard. He wondered what Naruto was up to currently. He was sure that Naruto would find some way to occupy himself. He'd never complained in the past, anyhow.

"Sasuke…"

"Yeah?"

"M' stomach hurts like a bitch."

It was so rarely he heard Itachi complain or swear these days. He knew how he used to talk to Sasuke before his role had been so abruptly altered. Itachi didn't have a dirty mouth, but Sasuke could still overhear Itachi swear over the phone when he talked to what few friends he could keep with his busy schedule. He walked over to Itachi casually, catching a glance at his morphine pump. It had been twenty minutes since the last injection.

"Not enough morphine?"

"Whatcha tryna do?” Itachi slurred. “Kill me?"

"Fine, be stubborn," Sasuke huffed, though he supposed that there was no way around the pain Itachi was experiencing. He felt a little foolish for suggesting more morphine when Itachi was already so loopy, but he didn't like watching his brother suffer. He would rather not admit this to Itachi, however.

Itachi rested for a couple moments until he spoke again.

"You're fussy," Itachi stated, his brows furrowing. Sasuke placed his thumb between Itachi's brows and rubbed out the creases threatening to form.

"You're the fussy one."

Itachi smiled up at Sasuke as he leaned over Itachi.

"You should try to fall asleep while you still have the morphine in your system," Sasuke said quietly. "It'll be tougher later."

"Will do, Dr. Uchiha."

"Doctor, already? You're setting the bar awfully high for me."

Sasuke returned to his seat, letting his back fall deep into the padding of the seat. Itachi sat quietly for a few minutes before he spoke next.

"You need to rest too."

Sasuke shrugged.

"I'm fine."

"Sasuke…" Itachi spoke severely, and it was becoming obvious now that the morphine was wearing off. It seemed that Itachi’s coherency came and left in waves.

"You look like shit. Go sleep."

Sasuke frowned, staring at the ground obstinately for a few seconds before opening his mouth to speak. Itachi, however, beat him to it.

"What do you expect to do for me, sitting here while I sleep? If you  _really_  want to help me, go home and rest so that you can be at my beck and call later."

Sasuke sighed. He'd arrived at the hospital only a few hours after the sun rose, and now it had nearly finished its descent. He didn't want to leave Itachi for his own reasons as well, but he knew that his brother was right. He would need his strength now.

"Suit yourself," Sasuke exhaled, standing up and readjusting his shirt.

"Later, Sasuke," Itachi replied with a smile, waving at him weakly.

"Later, 'Tachi," Sasuke smiled back lightly.

He quickly made his way through the hospital to reunite with his lover. As reluctant as he was to leave Itachi, the prospect of a hot meal cooked at home and rest sounded godly. He found Naruto right where he'd left him, asleep in one of the chairs in the waiting room and snoring softly.

"Hey," Sasuke nudged Naruto, who emitted a particularly loud snore before awakening and looked around hurriedly.

"Wuh? Oh…"

"Let's go."

Naruto silently traversed the short distance between the lobby and the main hospital entrance. The crisp night air forced him to become alert as they crossed the automatic doors, the blond rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"So, how'd it go?"

"Fine," Sasuke answered nonchalantly.

Naruto nodded, holding Sasuke's hand. Sasuke accepted the advance wordlessly. Naruto stared at Sasuke's face, which looked so relaxed compared to how it had appeared this morning.

"What?"

"Nothing," Naruto replied with a grin.

"I'm going to let you get away with that because I'm nice."

"Hah! You,  _nice_? Buuullshit." Naruto paused before clarifying, "Get away with what, exactly?"

"You just pulled a 'never mind' on me."

"But I never said 'never mind.'"

"No, but it was the basic implication."

Naruto shook his head quickly.

"Nuh uh. I never even said anything! To really pull a 'never mind' you need to say something to get the other person curious first."

"Staring at me like that and refusing to explain yourself suffices."

"It most certainly does  _not_  suffice," Naruto insisted passionately, his voice becoming a bit louder than he'd intended.

"You're snagging me on a technicality," Sasuke teased, not all that engrossed in the disagreement but enjoying riling Naruto up.

"You  _lie_ , you lying liar. LIES."

"I do something nice, and this is the thanks I get?"

Naruto paused, appearing genuinely conflicted. They'd reach the bus stop now.

"I'm… I'm sorry, Sasuke, I didn't mean to…"

"Fucking with you," Sasuke answered briskly before smirking, "Yet again."

"Ugh! You're such an asshole!" Naruto shouted, socking Sasuke in the arm. It was currently unfortunate that Naruto was getting so much stronger, and with all the physical labor he was putting in, the trend was likely to continue. That one actually hurt. So Sasuke returned the favor.

"Ow! Bastard…"

"Moron."

Before they could get carried away, the bus arrived. Sasuke flashed his pass, and Naruto put the few necessary coins in the machine for his own ticket. They took a couple seats towards the middle of the bus, Sasuke taking the window side. The ride to Sasuke's house was short, only about ten minutes. Naruto sat for several minutes, resisting the urge to rub at his now sore bicep. He wouldn't give Sasuke the satisfaction. After several minutes of silence, Sasuke spoke.

"Hey…" he said under his breath, just loudly enough for Naruto to hear. Naruto looked back at him. "Thanks for coming."

Naruto grinned, pecking Sasuke on the cheek and holding his hand tightly.

"Of course. I wasn't gonna leave you there to pout all day."

"Yeah…" Sasuke grunted, glancing out the window. "Well… In a more general sense, thank you. Not just for today…"

Naruto laughed.

"Seriously, dude? You're welcome, but I really think I'm the one who should be thanking you."

Sasuke didn't respond, absently watching the trees pass.

"I was so screwed when I met you. It's because of you that I've had somewhere to sleep and food to eat. You really bailed me out."

Sasuke grunted, which Naruto translated to a "don't sweat it." Sasuke was unspeakably pleased that his brother would recover so quickly, but this did raise a few issues. Naruto's response had unwittingly reminded him that their arrangement wouldn't last much longer. With Itachi back in the house, how much longer could Naruto hide?

"Yeah… Though with Itachi recovering so much more quickly…"

A gloom slunk over Naruto's face, and Sasuke immediately regretted his comment. He had no doubts that Naruto was terrified of whatever would happen after he was discovered.

"Forget it."

"It occurred to me too, though I sort of feel like an ass stressing about it considering what was at stake with your brother. I really  _am_  happy for you guys. And I really should be thankful that I could stay with you even this long."

Sasuke frowned, pulling his left sleeve down as it had begun to inch up his forearm.

"You're allowed to stress. As pleased as I am about what happened today, I'm not looking forward to that aspect of it either."

He knew that whatever misgivings he was feeling about this all, they were likely nothing compared to Naruto's. After all, this is what he'd spent an entire year of vagrancy for trying to escape. They exited their bus as the doors squeaked open and approached the house.

"Thanks for being…you know, understanding and all."

"Of course."

Sasuke closed the door behind them, and they now stood aimlessly in Sasuke's living room.

"You're scared," Sasuke said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Naruto looked away from Sasuke now, staring at his shoes. He wouldn't deny it.

"I'm going to watch out for you. I know more than anyone that some things can't be controlled, but I'll do everything I can to keep you safe. If things  _do_  get bad, you have somewhere to run to."

Naruto smiled, noticing his vision starting to blur. He was scared, yes, but he felt so fortunate to have found someone like Sasuke.

"But I’d be surprised if it came to that. I think you're going to be fine."

"Thanks…" Naruto muttered, sniffing quietly and wiping at his eye.

Sasuke placed his palm against Naruto's cheek, small teardrops changing course over Naruto's scars, then the knuckle of Sasuke's thumb. Sasuke leaned forward, his lips meeting Naruto's as he planted what was intended to be a small peck. Naruto opened his mouth, his tongue inching forward as it met the resistance of Sasuke's. Their tongues softly vied against each other for several seconds before Naruto pulled his mouth away to speak.

"Ya know, I'm not just crying out of sadness."

"Hm?" Sasuke answered, arching a brow.

"I feel kind of lucky. Because if you take into account what was going on last year, I'm one hell of a lot better off."

Sasuke smiled back at Naruto. It was like him to be so optimistic, even when facing the things he feared the most. It was something Sasuke had not yet managed to pull off and something he had secretly begun to admire.

"But all that's because of you, I guess."

It was difficult even for Sasuke to comprehend how he could have made such a difference in someone's life. Sometimes, unbeknownst to any of his friends, Itachi, or even Naruto, he found himself wishing that he had also been in his house when everything turned to ash.

But lately, he was discovering more and more reasons to appreciate his survival. He supposed this was just another one of them. If he had died along with his parents, where would Naruto be now? The thought was hard to swallow.

Sasuke nodded slightly, the two holding eye contact comfortably. Sasuke leaned forward again, pulling Naruto's body into him by his wrist as he kissed him. Naruto's hand rose to rest on Sasuke's waist, and Sasuke gently pet Naruto's hair as the blond nuzzled his face into Sasuke's muscular chest.

"In the end, shit luck on both of our parts brought us together."

Naruto snickered.

"I know. Kind of a trip, huh?"

"Life tends to be like that, I think. Cause and effect have a weird way of messing with your expectations."

Naruto sighed, allowing himself to fall back into the couch in the living room with a loud plunk. Sasuke quietly joined Naruto on the opposite side. Their exhausted bodies slouched over the cushions.

"Hey, Sasuke, are you one of those people who believe that everything happens for a reason?"

If his parents hadn't died, he probably would not have landed himself in community service. He wouldn't have met Naruto, and Naruto would have been either on the streets, or perhaps suffered a fate even worse.

Sasuke didn't know the answer to Naruto's question. He'd heard people claim such a thing, and some even had the audacity to insist this to him immediately after he'd lost his family. However, he did know that something very good could come out of something very bad, and that was enough to give his suffering purpose.

"There's no way to know that. It sounds like one of those things people say before they try to get you to believe in God."

Naruto shook his head, smiling softly.

"I expected you to say something like that."

Sasuke leaned back, taking off his shoes. He wasn't intending on leaving any time soon.

"Do  _you_  think everything happens for a reason?"

"I'd like to believe that, so I do. It helps."

"Fair enough," Sasuke said simply.

Naruto leaned forward, cramming his face underneath Sasuke's and staring up at him. Sasuke gave Naruto an uncomfortable look and moved away.

"What?"

"You seem kinda…unresolved?"

"I’m not. I just don't like saying that everything happens for a reason."

"Why not?"

"Some really bad shit happens. The Holocaust, for instance. What reason could ever be good enough for something like that?"

"Yeah, but…"

Naruto paused now, thinking deeply. He knew this wasn't about the Holocaust, starvation in Africa, or kids with cancer. He knew Sasuke well enough to know that this was drawing upon something personal. He could read it in the way Sasuke's eyes trailed over the wall and the way he lightly bit the inside of his bottom lip.

"Would you feel guilty for thinking that everything happens for a reason?"

"Why would I feel guilty for that?" Sasuke answered defensively.

"Because you feel like believing that would be a form of betrayal."

Sasuke's eyes nervously moved over to Naruto, wondering how his lover had been able to read him so well. How could he believe such a thing? If he chose to believe that, he might forget how wrong and unfair what happened to his parents was. It would condone their death.

"Why does that matter?" Sasuke rebutted, agitated. "Why is it so important for me to believe something that isn't even proven?"

"Whether you believe or not is not the issue. It's that…" He hesitated. "It seems like you're just holding on to sadness and resentment and a bunch of shitty feelings because you feel like letting them go would be…"

"I'm not sad," Sasuke quickly interrupted.

"Sasuke, no one expects you to be…" Naruto quickly caught himself. As Sasuke had made clear before, he cared much more about what he expected of himself than what others expected of him. "How could you get over something like that? It's okay to still be ripped up about it."

"Are you supposed to be my shrink now?" Sasuke grumbled.

"This stuff still affects you," Naruto insisted. "Like what just happened now, how you even got into selling drugs and all. I know you would've been freaked out, but do you really think you would've gone so far had…" Naruto paused. This entire conversation had been vague. He hesitated to say the words. "Had your parents not died?"

Maybe this was too much for Sasuke. After all, Itachi was still in the hospital. But even though Sasuke seemed to be turning around, Naruto did not want him to be weakened to temptation. The scar tissue was still weak in some parts, as much as Sasuke had recovered. Itachi was still sick. Naruto was sure that Sasuke's unresolved feelings involving his parents' death were impeding his ability to cope with this.

He didn't know how he expected Sasuke to react… Whether Sasuke would go silent, yell at him, change the subject… Sasuke hated the fact that Naruto was right. He knew that his thought process had changed after his parents' death, that it was no longer as perfectly rational as it used to be. He'd had to admit that to himself so recently as he decided to cut his ties with Kabuto.

"So what do you want to do about it?" Sasuke answered, some fire in his tone. "Send me to therapy? Already did that. Tell me that everything happens for a reason and give me a Bible? They tried that too. I don't need to revisit this. It was bad enough the first time."

"Sasuke… I just want to help you recover."

The restlessness in Sasuke's voice was painful to hear.

"I'm sorry. I know things have been crazy lately, and…"

"And maybe this isn't the time? You think?" Sasuke snapped sarcastically.

"No offense, but you're kind of proving my point here."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, stubbornly silent now. What exactly was Naruto trying to achieve?

"I don't drag all your skeletons out of the closet and make you deal with them."

It was true. Even when Naruto had a panic attack and then willingly  _offered_  to share his past with Sasuke, Sasuke respected his privacy. There were certain things you shouldn't stick your nose into.

"Of course not. Because I've actually  _dealt_  with them."

"Have you?" Sasuke asked, raising a brow.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're acting defensive."

"What the fuck, Sasuke? I was just trying to help you, and you have to bring  _that_  up."

Weren't they just kissing and reminiscing about life just a few moments ago? These were some monumental mood swings. They were in a stressful situation. Maybe it was affecting them more than they realized.

"You mean like you brought my shit up?"

"It’s the intention. You're only bringing this up to get back at me, when I only wanted what was best for you."

"I'm not trying to get  _back_  at you,” Sasuke answered, clearly frustrated. “I'm making a connection so you can understand where I'm coming from."

"Oh, so I make you uncomfortable, so you intentionally try to make me uncomfortable? How thoughtful."

Naruto crossed his arms, rolling his eyes at Sasuke.

"Why do you keep assuming that I was being vindictive? I'm just saying that both of us have issues we still have to face. You can preach at me about facing my demons, but when the spotlight's on you, you get defensive and lash out."

Naruto felt like decking Sasuke at that moment. Why was he getting so angry? Damn, it couldn't be… He was so accustomed to redirecting Sasuke. What would happen if Sasuke played his role? No, Sasuke had to be wrong.

"You do the same thing!" Naruto yelled, pointing at Sasuke dramatically. "You're not one to talk!"

"Whatever. I'm not the one on the pulpit. But you admit it?"

Naruto inwardly swore at himself. He'd incriminated himself with that comment, but nothing he couldn't recover from.

"I never  _admitted_  to anything," he said venomously, his teeth clenched. "I just said that you're doing the same thing you accused me of."

"Jesus, Naruto. Calm down," Sasuke stated with cut. Bad choice.

"No! I'm not going to  _calm down_!" Naruto shouted, stamping his foot down. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"What are you, three years old?"

Sasuke's sarcasm was doing nothing to calm Naruto. He didn't even know why he'd suddenly become so angry. All he knew was that he had just been trying to help Sasuke, and Sasuke had to act like a royal dick and put him under a microscope. But he had a lot of stuff to handle at the moment. Too much to deal with this bullshit.

"No! You're not gonna just…go around and try to get under people's skin because you're insecure about having issues!"

"You say  _I_  have issues? Who's the one stomping around throwing a temper tantrum like a toddler because of one small comment?"

"I'm mad because you're an  _asshole_  is why I'm mad!"

"Well that was clever," Sasuke sneered.

Naruto stomped his foot down once, and again twice, angered by the futility of his efforts to get Sasuke back on the defensive. Why did Sasuke have to be so witty when it came to stuff like this? No matter how right Naruto was, he could never seem to win these arguments. Meanwhile, Sasuke fought back the urge to give a condescending laugh at Naruto's antics.

"You…" Naruto shouted, grabbing Sasuke by the shirt and yanking him in towards his body. Sasuke's neck snapped backwards, Naruto's strength taking his body by surprise. He certainly wasn't frail anymore. Naruto merely glared down at Sasuke. Sasuke didn't resist, smugly and directly meeting Naruto's stare. Sasuke could feel Naruto's hot breath fall down his neck.

"Cute. Were you planning on saying something?"

Their faces were so close that Sasuke could actually hear his boyfriend's teeth clenching. Blond brows burrowed together so dramatically that it rendered Sasuke's modest attempts to take his boyfriend seriously near impossible. Those thin, pale lips still smirked up Naruto, right until the instant Naruto's arm swung back and gracelessly collided with his nose.

He hadn't actually expected Naruto to hit him. They'd fought and wrestled and beat on each other all the time, but it was always in good fun. Having landed backwards on his ass, his hands scratched from sliding back against the carpet, Sasuke realized that something between them both had snapped. Maybe it was because Itachi was in the hospital, or because they both knew that they would be inevitably separated. Or perhaps it was because Sasuke had begun selling drugs and Naruto was working shitty part-time jobs. Maybe it was everything, but one thing was certain. He was  _pissed_.

Sasuke lost a few precious seconds to shock before he rapidly picked himself up, ready to strike back. That smug little son of a bitch had the nerve to deck him? But before he could take his revenge, Naruto's now respectable body weight came down on top of him, slamming his back down onto the floor, his head having just barely missed smacking against the leg of the coffee table. Pale hands angrily snatched at Naruto's T-shirt, the other boy's hands following suit.

And then their foreheads came together so hard Sasuke swore his skull shook inside his head, his ears ringing as his jaws snapped shut. In some corner of his dizzy mind, he was glad that that moron was probably feeling the same pain. He'd only need a few minutes to teach Naruto an important lesson:  _no one_  was allowed to treat him this way.

But what happened next came so quickly that he couldn't process it, the information bypassing his brain and traveling straight to his muscles and sinews. His body just reacted instinctively, and now their open mouths pressed together, tongues angrily lashing against one another.

Sasuke's fists tightened in Naruto's shirt, and he pushed away from him, angry that Naruto dared to become so intimate with him at such a time. Naruto was persistent, and Sasuke only put in his most severe effort seconds after the onset. The kiss tasted slightly metallic, a warm liquid between their lips informing Sasuke that his nose was bleeding. Yet the pain was hardly noticeable as their bodies writhed against each other on the floor.

Sasuke bit down on Naruto’s lip angrily, the modest amount of blood emerging melding with the blood on Sasuke's face. Naruto finally pulled back, but not before having conveniently placed his knee between his spread legs, pushed just a little too hard against Sasuke's groin for comfort.

"Fucker," Naruto spat, sucking at his swollen bottom lip.

The tension between them was thick for several moments as they stared each other down furiously and silently, each trying to decipher the others motives and next movements. Sasuke made a move to lean upwards, quickly attempting to throw Naruto off of him, but the knee between his thighs quickly ceased his movements, the older over top of him once more.

Sasuke acquiesced just long enough for Naruto to let his guard down. He sprung his weight into his left forearm, pushing it against the floor to swing all of his weight into his right, shoving Naruto aside. It left enough room for him to get on his knees as Naruto lost his balance, and now they vied with each other, both in the same position.

However, Sasuke still had a slight bit of strength on Naruto. He grunted as he tore Naruto down, quickly straddling the boy. Naruto's hands reached up to push Sasuke off of him, but Sasuke gripped both of Naruto's wrists so hard that Naruto could hardly bend his fingers. With great effort, Sasuke pinned Naruto's wrist to the floor.

"So you think you can top me?" Naruto provoked, grinning in amusement as a drop of blood dripped down his lip.

They were both panting, their chests rising and falling dramatically. With each steep inhale, Sasuke smelled both the combined aroma of their sweat and his own blood. Of course he could top Naruto. That was how it was supposed to play out from the start. But they had only slept together once. Sasuke had been sick, sleep deprived, and emotionally overwhelmed at the time, so he had been at a severe disadvantage. But now they were on even ground.

"You doubt it?" Sasuke asked menacingly, tilting his head as he stared Naruto down. "I'll fix that."

"You sure you know what you're doing, Uchiha?"

Sasuke issued a cocky half smile. His actions would come to his defense much more effectively than words ever could. They were kissing again, hands roving and scratching along arms and torsos, their bodies pressed so flush against each other that Sasuke questioned if the other could hear how fast his heart was thumping in his chest, a sweltering mix of anger and lust swelling inside them both.

He forced his tongue into Naruto's mouth, Naruto growling animalistically. Naruto bit at Sasuke's lip, tugging it as Sasuke's hand raced up his chest under his shirt, hungrily grabbing up Naruto's musculature before giving Naruto's nipple a rough pinch. Naruto snarled, his back arching as he yanked Sasuke's face closer to his own by his hair. Sasuke rubbed Naruto's nipple between his thumb and forefinger rapidly, and he felt Naruto's erection budding against his thigh.

Sasuke scooted up on Naruto's abdomen, smirking as he reached back and rapidly palmed Naruto through his jeans. Meanwhile, he bent over and bit the side of Naruto's neck, sucking mercilessly. Naruto reached underneath Sasuke's back and clawed his nails down it with as much force as he could. He hoped he made that son of a bitch bleed.

Sasuke grinned crookedly at his handiwork, pleased to see the furious and dark mark on Naruto's neck. He'd like to see  _this_  one heal in a week. Naruto fought against him, trying to push him off by rising up. Sasuke pounded Naruto's chest back into the ground, the back of Naruto's skull smacking the ground so abruptly it caused his jaws to snap shut. In doing so, Sasuke strained a muscle on the right side of his torso, swearing under his breath and taking out his frustration on Naruto once again.

Sasuke jerked Naruto's shirt up, a button popping off by Naruto's collarbone and landing underneath the coffee table. He kissed, bit, and tugged down Naruto's neck, giving him an equally dark hickey where his shoulder met his neck. Naruto's toes curled as his skin tingled near the area, a particularly sensitive spot for him as he was sure Sasuke knew. Sasuke smirked in satisfaction as Naruto's vocal chords betrayed him, a lustful moan escaping. Sasuke's typical cockiness only annoyed Naruto more, yet his breath hitched all the same as Sasuke unbuttoned his pants and unceremoniously swung his fly open.

He felt a muscle in his groin twitch as his painfully growing erection met the December air of an unheated house. Naruto's body was defying his mind's orders flagrantly, treasonous goosebumps speckling his skin and blood flooding to all the wrong areas. Sasuke was getting his way and acting smug, as usual. Hadn't he been the one who made the first advance? How had Sasuke gotten the upper hand? If Naruto hadn't been angry enough before, this would do him in.

Naruto viciously bit Sasuke's earlobe and tugged while Sasuke took Naruto's plump sex into his hand and pumped feverishly. Naruto's eyes involuntarily clenched shut. A pleasure was threatening to hijack his willpower, but Naruto resisted. He wouldn't let Sasuke win.

He unbuttoned Sasuke's pants, emitting a similar smirk as he fingered Sasuke's bulge, just to get under Sasuke's skin. As Naruto began to pump, Sasuke smacked his hand away, moving his hips downward so that his pelvis neared Naruto's. Impatiently, he supported his upper body with his left hand and pumped both of their cocks in his right, his hand shlicking as a few dribbles of precum lubricated his motions.

Over the course of their argument and subsequent…diversion, the house had grown dark. The green glow of Sasuke's DVD player offered sparse illumination. The only sounds to be heard issued from the humming hand-me-down refrigerator in Sasuke's kitchen, their panting as they struggled with and against each other, and the simple and inevitable bumps, slaps, and slips of skin on skin.

Sasuke's emotions had run the gamut today. From anxiety and fear, to relief and joy, to sadness, to fury, to lust… He couldn't keep track of them, so he submerged himself in this moment. He clenched his teeth as he felt his most sensitive skin pressed against Naruto, who he  _still_  felt like punching in the face. This was random and contradictory, but he didn't bother with explanations. He just knew that between him being sick, the lack of sleep, and the truckloads of responsibility he was shouldering, it had been far too long since he'd done something like this.

Naruto's hand clawed into the carpet, the coarse fibers edging under his nails and scratching his fingertips and elbow. He could only glare at Sasuke now through lidded eyes, and Sasuke could barely see Naruto’s face through the dimmed lighting as he stared back, unintimidated. Naruto again kissed Sasuke fiercely as he felt himself come nearer and nearer to orgasm, but… Sasuke let go.

"What the  _fuck_ , Sasuke?" Naruto shouted, his knuckles clenching as he grew unsatisfied.

"Move," Sasuke ordered, attempting to flip Naruto over onto his stomach. Naruto resisted, elbowing Sasuke's hand away.

" _Move_ ," Sasuke repeated lethally.

Naruto leaned his head back and spat in Sasuke's face, grinning at Sasuke,  _daring_  the Uchiha to make him regret it. Sasuke inhaled irefully before shoving all of his weight into flipping Naruto over. Once he had Naruto where he wanted him, he crammed Naruto's bare chest against the rough carpet so hard that Naruto wondered if he'd have rug burns. His chest thoroughly compacted, Naruto's breaths were forcibly shallow and quick. A slight stream of drool fell from Naruto's lips onto the carpet's loops, the pressure of the floor forcing his mouth open.

Sasuke forced Naruto's pants down his ass and wiped Naruto's saliva away with his second finger, staring down at the moistened digit wickedly before shoving it into Naruto's hole. The pucker contracted roughly as Naruto gasped in pain. Naruto's body seemed intent on pushing him out, but Sasuke persisted. Naruto was growing dizzy from lack of oxygen, and the pain of Sasuke's finger, now thrusting more deeply, began to lose its edge and quickly morphed into bliss. He snarled and grunted rather than moaned, and Sasuke followed suit.

But Sasuke was impatient and apparently not overly interested in his boyfriend's comfort, using nothing but an extra dab of his own saliva before adding his middle finger. In fact, Sasuke  _wanted_  it to hurt. He wanted to get back at Naruto, wanted him to realize how far he'd ventured out of his league. Moreover, he never wanted Naruto to doubt that he had every ability to pleasure him, hurt him, and rule him.

In this position, Naruto couldn't kiss, pinch, or bite Sasuke. He could only allow his ass to be thrust into and endure the full brunt of Sasuke's wrath…and he was profoundly enjoying it. He quietly moaned, relaxing his body so that Sasuke was able to go deeper and deeper. No, he wasn't only enjoying it. He  _needed_  it. Thus, he growled as Sasuke again stopped his movements.

"Is there a problem?" Sasuke asked, so casually that it only mocked him.

"The fuck do you think is the problem?" Naruto hissed.

"If you want me to fill you, beg."

"Hah!" Naruto laughed, amused by Sasuke's audacity. "I'm not  _begging_  you for shit!"

But Sasuke clawed at Naruto's hair, cramming his face into the ground. Meanwhile, the pad of his thumb pressed on Naruto's ass, the muscles around the thumb convulsing as Sasuke came so painfully close to entering.

" _Beg_."

Sasuke's voice was deep, luscious, and full, so commanding that it sent shudders through Naruto's body. He remembered what happened the last time he defied that voice, a grand total of a minute ago. As much as he despised Sasuke at the moment, the throbbing of his heart and all of the endorphins circulating his bloodstream screamed at him to obey.

"Do it," Naruto responded, his tone losing much of its defiance.

"You can do better."

"Fuck…" Naruto swore icily, gathering himself before continuing. "You motherfucker…  _Please_ , fill me. Please!"

It wasn't exactly groveling, but Sasuke decided that this would suffice. He’d kept a small, teabag sized pack of lube in this room, knowing full well that a situation like this might arise. He ripped the top off and did the best he could, using saliva mixed with a hint of blood to further moisten his erection. Naruto's hole gladly accepted Sasuke as he thrust into Naruto deeply.

"Nngh!" Naruto moaned.

Naruto had never been penetrated before, not like this. He found it to be an overwhelming experience entirely, especially given his mental state at the moment. The anger in his veins stubbornly shouted its existence at Naruto, though his overstimulated brain had forgotten why he was angry to begin with.

Sasuke bucked his hips forward, addicted to the feeling of his cock jammed so tightly into Naruto's hot orifice. Naruto's body was so tight, offering strong resistance that was mostly pleasure but a little bit pain.

This was a first experience for Sasuke as well. This was the role he had envisioned himself in when he'd imagined losing his virginity. He reveled in the delicious friction as he thrust again, deeper this time and gaining in momentum. This had been the subject of Sasuke's guilty fantasies since even before the two of them had kissed. He'd even dreamt about it, albeit in his dreams, this occurred under much different circumstances.

Naruto's face slid forward as Sasuke's hips collided with his ass yet again, his cheekbone pressing into a leg of the coffee table. Naturally, Sasuke didn't give a damn. He was enjoying too much the feeling of ownership as he plowed so completely into  _his_  lover, listening as Naruto's true feelings manifested themselves as blissful moans. Sasuke didn't know whether this was reconciliation or punishment, but he was loving every second.

"That's all?" Naruto rasped. "That's as hard as you can fuck me?"

Sasuke let out a mischievous "tch." Naruto still wanted more. Sasuke braced himself against Naruto's back, slamming all of his body into Naruto, feeling the repeated pressure of Naruto's prostate against him. Naruto didn't bother to restrain his moans now, loudly filling the house with his ecstasy. Sasuke moaned along with him, very quietly at first and with each thrust just barely intensifying. Faster, harder, deeper…

Naruto could hardly even feel his face cram against the table leg, his ribcage strain against the floor, or the slight burn of the now moistened friction against his entrance. He brought his knees closer into his body, using the leverage to push back against Sasuke's cock as Sasuke came forward. He reached around and urgently pumped at his own erection, precum streaming down his fingers. God, he needed this. Already so eager, his body neared orgasm quickly.

Naruto's body trembled as his insides spasmed, squeezing against Sasuke. He let out a loud moan as a blissful heat flowed from his groin out to his very fingers, streams of cum falling into Naruto's moving hand. There were several more spurts followed as Sasuke stuck himself fully inside of him. His anger faded as his endorphins had their say, and now he only wanted to be closer to the man making him feel this way.

As pissed as Sasuke still was at Naruto, the sight of him ejaculating as he thrust inside of him was beautiful. He had to join him, adopting the same desperate pace as Naruto had seconds ago. Naruto willingly allowed Sasuke to continue, now wanting nothing more than his lover's pleasure. How had things changed so quickly?

Sasuke felt it coming, felt his balls harden as he started to lose control. Through the fuzz of his orgasm, Naruto did his best to help Sasuke by offering as little resistance as possible. Sasuke's nails clawed into Naruto's shoulder blade, and then Naruto knew… Sasuke's spunk spurted hard into Naruto's ass as Sasuke felt the emotional and physical tension in his body release. The cum dripped down Naruto's ass, down his inner thighs, and unfortunately, onto the carpet. Sasuke noted that he would have to clean that up later.

Naruto loved being so full of Sasuke, feeling some mix between exposed, owned, pleasured, and embarrassed. He wondered which position he preferred. Penetrating Sasuke had been amazing, but this…

Sasuke knew where his preferences lay. He pulled out of Naruto, unable to feel anything other than ecstasy. Naruto was his, and his alone. He was the only one who could fill Naruto, who could make him feel this way. He lay next to Naruto on his side, and Naruto joined to face him, thick fingers gently petting Sasuke's shoulder.

As the buzz of his orgasm faded, Sasuke again remembered exactly what had made him so angry. He frowned, and it appeared that Naruto had read his thoughts. Naruto frowned too. But they were too sad about what had happened to point fingers, their fingertips softly petting each other as the minutes passed. Finally, Naruto spoke.

"We're really fucked up, aren't we?"

Sasuke smiled softly.

"Just a bit."

"Heh…" Naruto mumbled. "I'm sorry," he added with fragility.

"Yeah…" Sasuke said slowly, wiping some blood off of his lip. "Me too."

Something in apologizing made both of them feel better, their consciences lighter. Naruto easily remembered punching Sasuke and a handful of the things he'd said to him. However, had to strain his mind to remember exactly how the fight had started and all that had been said.

"I can't believe it…" Naruto sighed, distraught. "I just lost control."

Sasuke shrugged.

"Yes, but I can understand why."

"I guess we both have things to work on."

"Apparently so."

Naruto snickered, glad that both of them were returning to better spirits.

"Sorry… I didn't mean to force my way in or preach at you."

Sasuke shook his head.

"I know you were just trying to help."

He regretted reacting so strongly now. He'd felt cornered at the time, so he'd lashed out. But, as Naruto had said, this only proved his point.

"Ah, how is it that everything's so easy to discuss now?" Naruto joked.

"I blame the endorphins."

Naruto laughed, which caused Sasuke to smile again.

"We can go at your own pace, okay Sasuke?"

Sasuke nodded silently. He  _did_  want to follow Naruto's advice and face his past. But how?

"And I’ll go at mine," Naruto added.

“Not ‘I,’ we. I’m going to help you face your demons just like you’re helping me face mine.”

Sasuke didn't know how he could help Naruto with his past. He wondered if the two of them just needed more time, which was currently something they had very little of.

Naruto gave Sasuke a wry smile. He’d been alone for so long. It was such a comfort to have someone beside him now. And Sasuke… He was determined, brilliant, and strong. More than anyone else, Sasuke understood him. If anyone could help him face this, it would be Sasuke.

Naruto’s modest smile transformed into a grin.

"Things are looking up, Sasuke. We got a future so bright we gotta wear shades," Naruto sing-songed, tilting up an imaginary pair of sunglasses.

Sasuke's gaze caught Naruto's. His prospects  _were_  much better… At least for now. Things had been getting better before Itachi got sick too. He wondered what would solicit the next doldrums. Yet if Naruto could say this, considering the challenges he faced, it had to count for something.

There was a lull in the conversation as they both moved to get up, looking over the damage to both the carpet and each other. Naruto's lip was swollen, but most traces of blood had been mostly kissed away. Sasuke's nose was no longer bleeding, but he could still feel his cartilage swelling and the caked on blood clinging to his upper lip.

The carpet wasn't so bad; if he grabbed a rag now, it shouldn't be a problem. Naruto grabbed the edge of the coffee table, now pushed back at an awkward angle across the living room, to hoist himself up. Dark eyes roamed over his naked boyfriend's body, noting the quickly drying semen along the back of tan thighs, even more seeping out as the boy attempted to stand. Sasuke gave a wicked smile.

Naruto flushed, embarrassed, before awkwardly turning around. His face formed into a comical grimace.

"Sh-shit."

"What's wrong?" Sasuke frowned, a tinge of regret crossing his features. Had he really hurt Naruto?

"My…ass kinda hurts," Naruto pouted.

Silence.

Sasuke snorted, before moving to stand as well.

"You might want to get used to that one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooly crap guys, sorry for the long delay. I definitely am not off the radar or abandoning this fic.
> 
> Was being treated badly by my company, but I found a new job and had to find a new place to live, move, and transfer my very complicated health insurance benefits within just a few weeks. Also got really sick for a couple weeks in there. Everything happened at such a fast pace that my head was spinning.
> 
> So no time to write, but now I'm settled in my new home and new job. I should be back on schedule now.
> 
> I may need to shift from a weekly to a biweekly update schedule, since I don't yet have a full idea what my workload will be like for this new job. Playing it by ear for now.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. :)


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone's confused: This is a flashback into Sasuke's past, as he's entering his freshman year of high school. In the main story timeline, he's a sophomore.

Sasuke was so sick of this. It took every particle of his willpower not to storm out of that room at this very instant, slamming the door shut behind him. The same lectures, over and over again, the same struggles…

He had yet to get a B since the age of seven, was president of the student body, and had just made the varsity basketball team after a week of intense tryouts. He didn't do drugs, didn't sleep around, and his room was always immaculate. Any  _normal_  father would have been satisfied.

"Sasuke, you need to join a sport! It's not just about grades anymore. You need to be well-rounded if you want to get in anywhere decent."

"And that's why I'm joining the basketball team."

He'd gone over this with his father twice before. One would think that would be enough.

"You’re not in middle school anymore. You need a team with a  _future_. Konoha's basketball team hasn't made it to regionals even once in the past three years!"

Did it really matter how many games his team won? Most applications would only ask for his position on the team and the number of hours each week dedicated to the sport. But as his father had previously insisted, the topic could always come up, and not all applications were the same.

Even getting on the basketball team in seventh grade had been a challenge. He’d breezed through tryouts. His father was the real obstacle. To his dad, letting Sasuke join a lackluster team had been a significant concession, and he expected Sasuke to act accordingly.

But he’d just started high school a couple weeks ago, after which every extracurricular, volunteer work, or sport he partook in would be fodder for his college applications. Even months before high school had started, his father was already trying to throw him into baseball lessons.

"If they suck as bad as you seem to think they do, I could easily become captain. And I  _like_  basketball."

He loved the constant movements, the strategies, the techniques… He'd been the shooting guard for junior varsity in last year, and he was skilled. He knew how the game worked, and his three pointer shots were infamous. On the other hand, he hadn’t thrown a baseball unbegrudgingly since he was ten. He didn't want anywhere near the sport.

It didn't hurt that Suigetsu was also on the basketball team this year, and Sakura cheered for many of their games. His friends would frequently come to the basketball games when they had nothing else to do with their spare time. Shikamaru, Ino, Karin, Juugo, Rock Lee, Kiba, Neji…the whole gang. In short, it just seemed fun and convenient. And even though he was already critically busy, his father was right on one count. He knew it would help him come admissions time.

"So being captain of the baseball team is too much work for you, huh? When your brother was your age, he was taking Konoha's baseball team all the way up to state, practically riding on his back! And here you want to join this…joke of a team that can hardly even win a game, let alone a season!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, his blood beginning to boil. Sasuke believed that if he did not work to the point of exhaustion, he was sabotaging himself. Even if others would stand for lackluster efforts, he demanded perfection from himself. Yet even this would never be enough for his father. How dare his father accuse him of being lazy? Sasuke worked even harder than he did!

But that wasn't what had  _really_  bothered him. He was always being compared to Itachi. Itachi, the athlete, the prodigy, the role model son. His father sometimes showed so much favoritism towards Itachi that it made him want to vomit.

To make matters worse, it seemed like the more time passed, the wider the wedge between Sasuke's abilities and those of his older brother became. Was there nothing Sasuke could do to earn his father's respect? Could he ever catch up?

"Oh, trust me, I am  _well_  aware of all of Itachi's accomplishments."

His father scoffed, talking a long step towards Sasuke.

"Are you?"

Sasuke barely refrained from sneering. He couldn't believe his father had seriously asked that. It was quite difficult for Sasuke to be unaware, given that it seemed to be all his father ever talked about.

"Itachi showed up at the house totally hammered the other week. Even now, he's on that camping trip probably getting smashed with his friends in some cabin. But that's okay, because it's  _Itachi_. Itachi never does anything wrong."

Sasuke wasn't telling his father anything new. He'd grown out of tattling at a very early age, and it was clear that Fugaku had noticed Itachi's intoxication that night. His father had made it more than clear how he felt about "those crazy bums of college students who drink themselves stupid on weekends." Yet his father never mentioned the fact that Itachi's steps swayed as he walked up the stairs and to his bedroom.

Perhaps Itachi hadn't gotten all the partying out of his system from his freshman year. Their parents had always been so strict. Sasuke couldn't blame Itachi, at least somewhat, but it still infuriated him when he was constantly compared to his older brother. Their father always looked past Itachi's mishaps, though he never extended the same courtesy to Sasuke. Itachi was the perfect son, not him.

"Stop trying to change the subject, Sasuke. This isn't about Itachi."

Of course he says this  _now_. His father would compare Sasuke to Itachi whenever was most convenient for him.

"Then why do you keep bringing him up if it  _really_  has nothing to do with him?"

He kept his voice at a reasonable volume, but there wasn't much he could do about the tone. Didn't he have a right to be angry?

"Because you should be following his example! Look at how far he's gone! He just got admitted to UCLA law school barely into his twenties!"

Whatever happened to this not being about Itachi? No, his father couldn't possibly go more than a few sentences without bringing Itachi back into this and making Sasuke's inadequacy perfectly clear. Just like always.

Sasuke stood up now, abruptly, shouting back at his father, "I'm not Itachi! When are you going to get that through your thick skull?!"

His father's face went red now, that familiar vein bulging at his neck. He could even see it from here. He knew he'd gotten himself into trouble now. Still, he nearly laughed at how silly his father looked in his rage, practically a caricature.

"How can you be so disrespectful? I raised you better than this! You  _will_  join the baseball team, and that's final!"

"I  _hate_  baseball. You can't force me to take one single swing!” Sasuke realized he sounded childish now, but he didn’t care. “If you sign me up for baseball, they'll automatically drop me from the basketball team. Then I'll have no sports at all!"

The man's eyes widened, shocked by Sasuke's defiance. Sasuke didn't waver, glaring back at him, refusing to budge. He'd held his tongue for far too long. Now he'd  _really_  let his father know what he thought.

"I'm not in art class this year because  _you_  thought that a psychology class would look better. I don't play the guitar because  _you_  thought the violin was more impressive. When do I get to make my own decisions?"

His father took one more step towards Sasuke, his face becoming redder.

"I am your father! I feed you, I clothe you, and you will do exactly what I tell you to do!"

"Honey…" It was now his mother's voice that interjected. She had been watching the entire argument silently while scrubbing the dishes. She said nothing else, her voice quiet and meek. She stared at her husband imploringly, silently asking him to reconsider.

"No, Mikoto. You are far too lenient with him. And now look at him!"

Oh, what a disappointment he was. How poor and unfortunate his father was to have been afflicted with such a lazy, stubborn, and disrespectful son.

"Yeah, now look at me!" Sasuke shouted. "I have the highest grades in my class! I'm the damned president of the student body freshman year! I study, eat, practice, and sleep. What more do you want from me?"

"I want respect from you! It's been a long time now, you've been thinking you know better. You cuss, you constantly make these comments that…"

"Fugaku…" Mikoto interrupted.

"Stop interfering! I've been turning a blind eye for far too long. Sasuke, you make rude comments, you roll your eyes at me, you show disregard for everything I've sacrificed for you to…"

"Sacrificed for me, huh?! I think you just want someone new to brag about during your stupid work parties. This is about  _you_!"

It was all about image with his dad. God forbid he raised a son who did  _not_  spend his entire early adulthood in school and earn a six figure income. Wouldn't that be embarrassing to explain to all of his work friends? Yet his father was expecting things of Sasuke that he'd never even achieved himself.

"Do you see this, Mikoto? This is what happens when you coddle a child!" Fugaku shouted, pointing at Sasuke irefully.

"Don't yell at her!" Sasuke shouted.

Thank god he at least had his mother around, his only  _reasonable_  parent. He would not allow her to endure this on his behalf. While she wasn’t necessarily a sensitive woman, Sasuke knew that she still took too much to heart. Especially when it involved his father.

"What happens between your mother and me is none of your business, Sasuke. Learn your place!"

"And what  _is_  my place? To obey your every command without a thought as to what I really want? God forbid I actually do something just because I enjoy it!"

Fugaku took another step towards Sasuke. He was a large man, and Sasuke's body had barely reached fourteen years of age. His father towered at least half a foot above him, moving in so quickly and closely that Sasuke could even smell the chicken sandwich he'd had for lunch. He wondered, for just a second, if Fugaku would strike him, though he never had before.

"You listen to me  _right now_ , Sasuke. I'm doing what's best for you, because I'm your father, and you  _will_  obey. I'm sick of your poor behavior and disrespect!”

Sasuke said nothing, glaring venom back at his father.

"You disappoint me more and more each day!"

A dish his mother was washing plunked into the sink, redirecting his father’s stare for a moment. It was fortunate, because in that instant, Sasuke couldn’t keep the hurt from showing on his face. But really, was this anything Sasuke hadn’t suspected all along? 

"Fugaku!" Mikoto interrupted yet again, but this time much more forcefully. He had turned away from the dishes, and there was now real anger in her voice. She would take a stand now. "That’s _enough_! He's…"

By the time his father looked at Sasuke again, he’d recovered completely. Sasuke wouldn't allow his mother to jump in and rescue him. He could fend for himself.

"I don't care what you think about me anymore!" Sasuke shouted. "You say this shit like it's something I don't already know! Like I don't already know I'm not good enough for you! So you know what? Fuck. You."

His voice quivered with rage at those last two words. Both of his parents merely stared at him wide-eyed. The fact that he had slipped the word "damn" in his speech a few minutes ago had been bold enough.

Sasuke said "please" and "thank you", cleaned the entire house every Wednesday, and called his father "sir." He rarely asked questions. He obeyed. This sort of defiance was unprecedented, but it had been a long time coming. Even the family cat had emerged, Ferret's head tilted as she stared at the debacle in confusion.

Their shocked silence provided him an opportunity to exit.

"Bottom line: I'm joining the basketball team. I'm not playing by your rules anymore."

The look on his father's face screamed pure  _murder_ , at least before Sasuke slammed the front door and stormed out to the front yard. Fortunately, his cat had not followed.

Where would he go now? Juugo offered to pick Sasuke up today, but Sasuke had turned him down in the interest of studying. Whatever the case, it would certainly be better than storming around the neighborhood fuming.

Their friendship began last year. Sasuke stayed an hour after school every Wednesday to tutor the other students, which was one of the requirements of his membership in the National Honors Society. As always, Juugo was struggling academically and in danger of being ousted from the football team. Juugo claimed that no one could explain algebra like Sasuke, so he made it a point to find the then eighth grader whenever he was unoccupied.

Sasuke didn't live very far from Juugo's house, but it was an uncomfortable walk. Since Juugo bought a car over this year’s summer, visiting Juugo became much easier. Juugo loved using it, finding just about any excuse to pick up his friends and roam the town.

Sasuke and Juugo had been casual friends through most of the past year, but it was Juugo's car that really catalyzed their friendship, since they now visited much more frequently. The two quickly grew closer, despite the age difference between them. What Sasuke lacked in age, he made up for in maturity and intelligence.

Sasuke fished for his cell phone in his pocket, pulling up a text message to Juugo's number as he walked down the block.

"Does the offer to hang out still stand?"

He typed hurriedly and was forced to correct two typos, his hands still sweaty and trembling from rage and adrenaline. He hardly noticed the heat of the September sun, or the scent of newly cut grass on the surrounding lawns. The perfectly maintained hedges, identical houses, and the sight of his father's meticulously clean Nissan made him want to retch.

God, he wanted out of here. He needed someone to distract him from the thoughts crashing in his head, and Juugo was always such a soothing personality. Sasuke was angry. Angry because no matter what he did, it was never enough for his father. He was angry with his brother for always one upping him, for being the golden child. He was angry with himself for letting Itachi stand above him, for failing to catch up despite all of his best efforts.

But a part of his psyche smarted when he remembered his father's comment. It was a direct confirmation of what Sasuke had suspected all along.

_"You disappoint me more and more each day!"_

He tried to block it out of his mind. He hadn’t wanted to be right.

Fifteen minutes passed before Sasuke's phone buzzed in his pocket. With relief, he noted that he had a new text message… From his mother, unfortunately.

"Sasuke, where are you?"

Sasuke sighed. He contemplated ignoring the text. What if she tried to force him to go home? He had to escape. He couldn't be around that asshole of a father right now. Yet he couldn't leave her to worry either. This wasn’t about his mom.

"I'm a few blocks away. Probably going to hang out with Juugo."

Mikoto responded in seconds. Considering how absent-minded and awkward she tended to be with technology, she must have been very concerned.

"Are you okay?"

Sasuke shifted to his other foot, his body steadily calming itself. His mother really was far too empathetic.

"I'm fine. Are you okay?"

This was a common lie for him anyhow. Usually, he really was fine. His life had never been all that painful, with the exception of the ridiculous amount of responsibilities and expectations that he had to manage. But he wasn't one to spill the beans whenever he was anything but.

He was concerned about his mother. He hoped that his father had calmed down after he left instead of exacting his frustration upon his mother. It wasn’t that his father was ever physically abusive, but he his temper made him difficult to handle. He would have stayed if it meant protecting her, but he believed, in all honesty, that his presence would only make things worse.

"Yeah, he went into his office. Come home."

Sasuke sighed.

"I need time to cool off. I'll be back before it gets late."

His phone buzzed again. The next text was from Juugo.

"definitly. whatsw/ the change of plans?"

"Had a fight with my dad. I'll explain later."

_Buzz._

"Sasuke, you told me you'd answer my calls."

Sakura now. God, this ridiculously advanced piece of technology felt more like a tracking device sometimes. His thumbs couldn't move quickly enough. Ever since his mom bought his smartphone for him as a birthday present, his classmates seemed to have found it their god-given duty to make sure it never stayed silent for long. He couldn’t ignore it the way he ignored social media; his popularity at school now followed him home. However, he found his conversation with his mother to be the most pressing priority.

"It's a school night. I'll pick you up, Juugo's 8. You better be there."

Despite the situation, Sasuke snickered, keenly imagining his mother's hard stare and commanding voice. His mother actually  _could_  be menacing, which would come as a great shock to anyone who knew her only casually. He understood her well.

"I will. Thanks for being cool about it."

"Your father and I love you very much. Be safe."

Sasuke frowned as he peered down at the screen. He knew this, of course, but he couldn't deny that it felt nice to hear at such a time. He was just about to answer when his phone buzzed again.

"You never answer my texts anymore… :("

Sakura, again.

_Buzz._

This one was probably from Juugo? He didn't open it. He'd answer Sakura first.

"I'm busy. Call you later."

Sasuke didn't know how much more of Sakura, or dating in general, he could handle. The relationship wasn't superficial. He really did care about her, and he enjoyed being around her. She was caring, smart, funny, and not so incidentally, hot as all hell.

Still, she was labor intensive and a little nosey and pushy… Sasuke didn’t know if the problem was him being distant or her being clingy, but he wondered how much longer he’d have the patience to keep up. He was so overwhelmed with all of his schoolwork and extracurriculars that he wasn’t sure he had enough time to date at all.

He opened Juugo's message now.

"need picked up?"

"Yeah, Cedar and Main. Thanks."

"be there in 5"

_Buzz._

"Okay…"

Sakura again. He didn't know if he liked the sound of that "…". He'd never been one to waste time over what lurked between the lines, but apparently this was something you need to learn when you start dating.

Although he supposed he couldn't blame her. He  _had_  been rather distant lately. Some of this was in response to Sakura's excess enthusiasm, but much of it just related to his demanding schedule, busy social life, and ever-expectant parents. This was his first  _real_  relationship, and he did get the feeling sometimes that he didn’t know what he was doing. It was difficult understanding what was on her mind.

"I promise. We can hang on Saturday. We'll have the house to ourselves."

There was no secret between the two of them as to what that meant. There was little more burdensome to a teenager's sex life than intruding parents.

"Okay ;)"

Sasuke messed around with his phone a while. It was hot out. Even Septembers offer little respite in southern California. Sasuke sat against the fire hydrant by his feet, taking off his jacket and fanning himself as he waited in jeans and a tank top. He'd only played just over a minute of Temple Run on his phone before Juugo's pickup pulled up. Sasuke opened the door and plopped down, his phone taking yet another opportunity to alert him of its presence.

"sasuke can u hang out this weekend?"

Karin. He ignored it. He would have put the phone on silent, but he was listening closely for his mother should she need him.

"Popular as always, I see," Juugo teased, his cigarette resting out his window with a mellow smile on his face.

"Remind me why I got this piece of junk again? This is ridiculous."

Over the summer, Sasuke had saved up enough money mowing lawns and delivering papers to afford almost six months of cell phone service. As a birthday present, his parents agreed to cover the rest. Juugo chuckled and shifted the car into drive, now waiting at the small intersection's stoplight.

"Because you're a masochist and secretly get off on the attention?"

Sasuke merely rolled his eyes, huffing off some of his frustration now that he'd gotten in the car. The boy was always quieter than most. He generally took a rather pragmatic view towards talking. If he didn't have anything interesting to say, there was usually no point in saying it. However, he was now quiet even for himself, and his tense body language made his frustration evident. Juugo eyed Sasuke for a few seconds.

"Another fight with your old man?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Yup."

"What's the topic this time?"

"He threw a bitch fit about me joining the basketball team."

Juugo arched a brow, surprised.

"Why? I'd think he'd be glad you're joining a sport considering how busy you already are."

Sasuke gave a short, bitter laugh.

"Yeah, one would think. But he's mad because the basketball team doesn't win enough games. He wants me to join baseball instead."

"Like your brother?"

Sasuke merely glared at Juugo. Juugo would get himself into trouble if he didn't watch his mouth. He knew that the sibling rivalry had always been a touchy spot for Sasuke. Still, Sasuke couldn't manage to look too intimidating, considering he'd just barely hit puberty, and Juugo's bicep was twice as large as Sasuke's. The idea was more amusing to Juugo than anything.

"Easy, easy," he added, chuckling.

"I'm so sick of hearing about Itachi. You have no idea how many times teachers have asked me, 'Oh, aren't you Itachi's brother?'"

Sasuke had just started high school weeks ago, and Itachi's legacy was nothing he could ever hope to escape. He hated the way the teachers' heads would perk, or their lips would upturn as they read over his family name. Juugo sighed.

"So I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that your father brought Itachi into this again."

"As always."

 _Buzz_. No one important. How the hell had his number gotten around so quickly? He ignored it.

"So what did you say?"

Sasuke frowned, already starting to feel the slightest pang of regret for his words towards his father, despite how angry he still was.

"I said 'fuck you' and told him I was going to join the basketball team anyway."

Juugo's brows raised, the junior knowing that this sort of behavior was far beyond anything Sasuke had pulled in the past.

"I really said 'fuck' too," Sasuke clarified.

Juugo barely refrained from laughing. Swearing in front of his no nonsense father was a big deal for Sasuke, but the way Sasuke viewed the word as the ultimate act of rebellion was rather endearing.

"I bet he loved that."

"He looked like he was about to follow me out the door and strangle me," Sasuke groaned.

Juugo couldn't help but chuckle now, quietly. The image of Fugaku running after Sasuke, his face red and veins bulging, after Sasuke had  _dared_  to drop the F bomb was too amusing to him. Juugo could have the mouth of a sailor and never get a word of reproach from his parents.

"You better be careful."

Sasuke pouted, resting his elbow against the door and resting his head on his palm.

"I wish my dad was cool like yours. He never gets on your ass like that."

Juugo was the one frowning now, his eyes wandering out the side window as they hit another light.

"I wish he'd get on my ass a little more, honestly."

"Why would you ever want that? You have all the freedom you could ask for."

"That's not always a good thing."

Juugo's parents were present in his life, at the very least. Sasuke had met both of them many times, and they were always very pleasant and vibrant people. Still, they never helped him pick his classes, and he would have no help picking out a college and preparing his applications. Juugo was told to "follow his heart" at every turn, and his parents had always been lax when it came to enforcing rules and discipline. In terms of guidance, Juugo was basically on his own.

"Your dad's a hippie, and mine's a Nazi."

The way Sasuke spoke made it more than obvious which situation he believed was more enviable.

"Sounds like a winning combination to me."

Sasuke merely shook his head, snickering.

"My dad thinks your dad is crazy, you know."

"My dad said that your dad needs to smoke some pot and do his blood pressure a favor," Juugo responded through another chuckle.

Sasuke could feel his mood picking up and his body relaxing as he laughed, and it was evident to Juugo as well. Juugo had this way of calming Sasuke, as his personality was very mellow and easygoing. Unbeknownst to Sasuke at the time, he had a similar effect on the red-headed junior.

"Your dad could be right."

A very familiar melody began to fill the car. He thought he'd escaped it years ago.

"Oh god, not this song."

Juugo smiled at Sasuke impishly and turned it up.

_My baby don't mess around, because she loves me so, and this I know 'fo sho._

"Hey, Sasuke…"

"No."

"What's cooler than being cool?" Juugo asked Sasuke with a smile, intent on cheering him up.

"No."

"Not gonna change the song until you give me the right answer."

Sasuke sighed, eyeing radio in contempt.

"Ice cold."

"I can't hear you!"

"ICE COLD. Now turn that off!"

Juugo looked rather proud that he managed to get that much out of the Uchiha, finally relenting and switching the station. Juugo pulled into the garage, and Sasuke waved to Juugo's mother and addressed her by her first name as he greeted her. He received another one of her bone-cracking hugs in return.

She'd insisted from the day she met Sasuke that he not call her "ma'am" or use the dreaded title of "Mrs." She wasn't an old woman, after all. This stood as a stark contrast to Sasuke's father, who looked down on any friend of Sasuke's who didn't address him as "Mr. Uchiha."

Soon enough, the two were up in Juugo's bedroom playing Halo. Sasuke defended his kill streak stubbornly.

"Jesus, Sasuke! Again?"

Sasuke took a sip of the orange juice Juugo's mother had given him.

"It's way, way too easy to sneak up on you. C'mon, give me a challenge here."

Sasuke tried not to think of all the homework that would be awaiting him once he got home. He wished he'd remembered to grab his biology textbook before he'd stormed out of his house, but his thoughts had been muddled at the time.

His phone's ringtone sounded, the chorus of a Modest Mouse song that only a few of his classmates had heard of. Juugo paused their game, and Sasuke glanced at the call ID. Sakura's home phone.

"I better take this," Sasuke informed Juugo reluctantly.

"Good luck, man."

He walked out to the office, where he hoped to have some privacy.

"Hey."

"Hey, Sasuke. What are you up to?"

"I'm at Juugo's."

"Seriously? Your parents let you go to Juugo's on a school night? Why?"

Sasuke sighed.

"No reason. I was just bored."

"That's strange for them."

Sakura's voice was skeptical, and Sasuke knew there was no deceiving her. And…well, she was his girlfriend, after all. Dishonesty was poor grounds for a relationship.

"Some drama at home. I'm keeping my distance."

"What happened?" Sakura asked. Her voice was full of concern.

"Don't worry about it," Sasuke answered dismissively.

"Sasuke, didn’t you say you’d stop pushing me away?"

He tried to keep his frustration from showing in his voice, knitting the skin between his eyebrows. A few weeks ago, Sakura had this very long conversation with him about how he tended to push her away and keep information to himself. He told her he'd make an effort to change, and he supposed that now was as good of a time as any.

"My dad just freaked out because I'm joining the basketball team. He mentioned Itachi, I got pissed, and it was pretty hectic after that. My mom's picking me up in about an hour though."

"Ah, I see… Are you okay?"

"Yes?" Sasuke answered, as if the question were almost too stupid to humor.

"Sasuke…"

Sakura was always quite perceptive, and definitely not an easy person to trick. Sakura might be clingy at times, but she was sharp, and she was kind. He supposed he was lucky to have a girlfriend with those qualities. He certainly could have done worse…

"I'm frustrated, obviously."

"You know your dad's just trying to look out for you. He gets demanding, but I know he's proud of you."

Proud of him? Right.

His father had been unhappy with him for years. Yes, maybe they'd been clashing more as Sasuke began his transition towards adulthood. He started questioning his father's rules and demanded to think for himself. But even when he had worked with unflagging devotion just to gain a morsel of his father's approval, he hadn't been much more successful.

"Yeah… Well anyhow, wanna watch a movie on Saturday?"

A pause.

"We'll have the house to ourselves you say?"

He smirked, silently grateful to Sakura for letting him get away with changing the subject.

"Completely."

Sakura merely began to chuckle devilishly in response.

"It's about time."

"Tell me about it," Sasuke groaned. God, if they could just get a few hours to themselves, it would be enough.

"Sasuke, I've been so horny lately. It's horrible. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"I think I have an idea," Sasuke snickered.

"You're so full of yourself." Sakura couldn't manage to keep the giggle out of her voice. "You gonna go down on me too this time?"

Sasuke shuddered, his forehead quickly covered in a very light sweat.

"Don't say that," Sasuke replied quietly. "For Christ's sake, I'm in Juugo's office."

"Oh, am I gonna give you a boner or something?"

"Of course not," Sasuke lied. Why was he like this? It wasn't like any  _other_  girl could do this to him. Cursing his overactive imagination, he hoped he'd be more difficult to arouse when he got older. He willed Sasuke Jr. to curb his enthusiasm. Sakura merely laughed, and Sasuke knew she saw through him.

"You're such a bitch, Sakura," Sasuke added, his exasperation hiding the ghost of a chuckle.

Sakura burst into laughter, and Sasuke rolled his eyes. He could swear he felt himself blushing, but he couldn't help but laugh with her, if only a little bit.

"I won't hold you up any longer. See you at school tomorrow."

Sakura's voice was laced with flirtation, and Sasuke enjoyed it as much as it made him curse her. He'd get her back for this though, without a doubt. He hung up the phone and walked back into Juugo's room.

They could only play video games for another half hour or so until they both caved to hunger. Juugo's mom ordered them a pizza, which the boys did not allow to go unappreciated. By the time the delivery arrived, it was nearing eight. At 7:50, Sasuke was chowing down on greasy pepperoni pizza. Sure, this wasn't exactly health food, but he'd had a stressful day, he reasoned. He could stuff his arteries with a few dozen grams of grease guiltlessly.

He was thankful for how his day had improved. Juugo and Sakura lifted his spirits significantly, and he could now actually say he was having fun. Juugo and Sasuke teased each other and joked as they ate, laughter from both of them filling the kitchen. When eight came around, and his mom still hadn't arrived, Sasuke wasn't complaining. Besides, he'd only had one slice of pizza.

8:30. Sasuke didn't want to remind his mom to pick him up if she'd lost track of the time. She was sure to remember sooner or later.

9:00. Sasuke and Juugo started watching TV, and Sasuke obligatorily took his cell phone out of his pocket and texted his mom. As much as he wanted to avoid going home, it was probably the right thing to do.

"Hey, where are you?"

He waited another ten minutes before calling her. The call went straight to voicemail.

"She's not answering," Sasuke stated, turning to Juugo.

Juugo shrugged, leaving to grab a bag of Cheetos out of the kitchen. Juugo's pipe had been set on the table in the living room since they'd arrived. He picked up his grinder and a small baggie of weed nestled under an open magazine.

"Wait 'til I'm gone, Juugo. If my mom smells weed on me, she'll murder us both."

He actually wondered if she even knew what weed smelled like. However, Itachi had told him many stories of their mother's college days, once Sasuke was old enough to hear them. Apparently, Itachi had weedled them out of a highly intoxicated great uncle at a family reunion.

Juugo laughed, shaking his head.

"Good point. Sorry, habit."

9:30. His mom still wasn't answering. It was getting late. He… God, he didn't want to do this. He didn't want to be the one to break the silence. He texted his father's cell phone now. After all, wasn't this the responsible thing to do?

"Hi Dad. Mom said she was going to pick me up, and I can't reach her."

Again, no response. He was probably just angry with Sasuke. Yet when he called, again, it went to voicemail. Why would both of his parents have their cell phones off?

"Juugo, would you mind driving me home? If my mom's not here by 10, I think we should just go ourselves."

"Yeah, don't worry about it."

And sure enough, it was ten. He tried both of his parents one last time, again unsuccessful. They got in Juugo's pickup and drove a couple minutes uneventfully. However, the streets grew increasingly trafficked. Car horns punctuated the night, and suddenly they were at a standstill.

"I wonder what's going on," Juugo remarked absentmindedly.

Sasuke believed he picked up on a peculiar smell, taking another whiff. It seemed to hit so suddenly that it struck him in the face, and now he couldn't ignore it if he tried. It was strong, irritating his throat, eyes, and nose. The heavy, toxic scent of smoke.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Death/trauma.
> 
> This chapter is included to add depth to Sasuke's character and past, as well as an idea of his current healing process.
> 
> If you choose to skip this chapter, you will not miss any major plot points.

No wonder there was such a pile up.

"Smell that?" Juugo asked.

"Yeah. There must be a fire somewhere."

"Shit, I hope everyone's okay…"

Sasuke frowned. His neighborhood was a tight community, one of those places where everyone seemed to know everyone else (and everyone else's business). Sasuke had lived here his entire life, and if any of his neighbors were his age, they had likely been a member of the community's ragtag gang of grade schoolers right along with Sasuke.

"Me too."

That explained why his mom had been late to pick him up. How could she get anywhere through all of this chaos? Sasuke reassured himself that there were many, many houses nearby and a lot of area in between. And even then, it could very likely be just a brush fire. He just hoped that all of his neighbors were alright, even if the same could not be said for their houses.

The car was still for another five minutes. The black sky glowed a shade of orange in the distance, the violent light fogged by smoke and clouds.

"I'm going to try to walk to my house and see what's up. Sorry to drag you out into all of this."

He felt uneasy and worried, which was only natural in this situation. He told himself not to get paranoid.

"Okay…"Juugo answered indecisively. "Look, I'm going to park. You go walk to your house. I'll join up with you once I get the car out of this to make sure everything's okay."

Navigating around all of these honking cars and blinding headlights by car would definitely take some time. Juugo seemed worried. Was he overreacting? It was probably a brush fire, certainly no rarity in southern California. And even if something important  _had_  caught fire, this was a congested area. What were the chances that his house would be the one? He was sure his parents were just distracted…right? Sasuke nodded.

"Thanks, Juugo."

Sasuke walked through the lanes onto the sidewalk, approaching his street. Smoke. His eyes and throat were beginning to sting. He walked onward, step by step, his arms swinging briskly. It seemed to be getting stronger… Or was it just in his head? Why hadn’t his parents answered their phones? Why hadn't his mom picked him up? He could no longer tell himself that he wasn’t worried.

He quickened his pace, walking briskly now. Faster. The main street approached, which would get him around a bunch of trees that blocked his vision. He neared it with both eagerness and anxiety. He turned onto the main street. A deadly black spire of smoke invaded the atmosphere. That…It must've been his imagination. Rows of homes blocked the actual site of the fire, but... It looked like it was coming from  _his_  house.

Sasuke abandoned any sense of composure and sprinted towards the source, his deep breath catching as the soles of his Converse chucks sprung against the ground. He knew everything would be just as it always was when he found his home. The same cream-colored stucco and well-manicured grass, the dimly lit rooms perhaps punctuated by their television… Perhaps his mother was standing by the garage right now, impatiently wondering when she could finally pick up her son. He had to prove all the doubts nagging at his heart wrong, because they were nearing unbearable.

He tried not to cough as he panted in the hot and toxic air, his face soaked by the violent burning and his shirt dampened with sweat. The snaps and cracks of the fire grew louder. His neighbors waited out on the sidewalks, staring towards the menacing black column. One cast Sasuke a glance, eyes full of sympathy. What the hell was going on?

Faster, carelessly frantic, vulnerable to an impressive fall should the sidewalk offer any unwelcome surprises, he sprinted. His legs extended widely with each stride, several generous feet between each footstep. His arms moved counter to his legs, bangs blown back in the wind to expose his bare face to the night's unnatural warmth. No, this was impossible. There was just no way… This couldn't happen, not to  _his_  house, not to  _his_  family.

He could see it now. His house was totally engulfed by flames. The left half of the top floor had gone completely. And then there was a loud boom as the living room crashed in upon itself, wood, plaster, and tile blending together into worthless soot. Just hours ago, that had been the very same door he'd stormed out of, his cat locked behind him. It was nothing now. Shit… He'd trapped Ferret in the house. Hopefully his parents had let her out.

Wait… His parents?

After that thought announced itself, Sasuke no longer was present. He stared dully at the scene of his house roaring and decaying, his arms slumped at his sides as his neck craned upward. This could have been a television show, or a dream… Certainly nothing real, happening just in front of his face. His eyes burned and watered, unfocused. His cheeks smarted from the heat of the flame. His chest had lost its substance and was hard and hollow.

A yell from a man in yellow snapped Sasuke back into reality. The firefighters hosed down the area, and he was standing in front of his neighbor's house now, caution tape forbidding him to proceed farther. Nevertheless, he ran underneath it. His own safety meant nothing to him. He sprinted to the first firefighter he could find.

"Get back!" the man shouted, covered in soot. It was black out, but Sasuke could make out the man's face in the light of the fire.

"A man and a woman were in there. Where are they?"

The man stared at him as his jaw hung open.

"Answer me!" Sasuke commanded urgently.

There was a police car. Sasuke hadn't noticed them. He also hadn't noticed that his neighbors were staring at him. A cop started to pull Sasuke back, but Sasuke threw the hands on his shoulder off. Another police officer came, and he was pulled back.

"It's too late," she whispered, her uniform tinged lightly with soot and her hair in a neat pony tail.

Sasuke stared in awe, too confused by the statement to resist in that moment, just absently following. His chest hurt, horribly, tightening so that he could hardly breathe, yet he still walked. His fingers had gone numb completely, or perhaps his body had just stopped caring about them.

"Where are my parents?" he asked, his voice far off and small.

The woman lost several seconds to what appeared to be heartache, staring at Sasuke with her brows knit.

"Sit down."

She tried to lead him to sit on the hood of the police car. Sasuke swatted her hand away.

"Just tell me already!" he shouted.

Too late? Too late for what? He wouldn't take her word for it. There had to be  _something_  he could do, in which case every second might be pivotal. She sighed.

"The man and women you spoke of… Those are your parents, right?"

"Yes."

"Was there anyone else in the house?"

Sasuke shook his head.

"No… Well, there was a cat too, if that counts."

The woman nodded.

"We didn't find a cat. But there were a man and woman in the house, as you say."

Sasuke's stomach lurched. They'd been home.

"Neighbors told us that there was a mild smell of smoke, then just seconds later, an explosion. Your mother was trapped in there. She didn't suffer; she…"

Sasuke's brows knit together, staring at the woman with his mouth agape.

"She died of smoke inhalation."

His breath threatened to race off just as he had through those streets, acting independently. But Sasuke silenced himself. If he lost his composure, there was no telling how much time he'd waste listening to this woman pussyfoot around the truth.

"Your father was critically injured. He's currently in the ICU at Las Haciendas."

"Oh my god," spoke a familiar and deep voice behind him, winded.

Juugo bent over, leaning against his thighs as he caught his breath and stared at the scene wide-eyed. He'd mirrored Sasuke's pace, starting with a brisk worry and galloping down the road towards the end. He'd missed most of Sasuke's conversation with the police officer, but he had heard the cop's last sentence.

"Sasuke…"

"I need a ride," Sasuke interrupted.

"Are you o…"

"Juugo," Sasuke insisted, his voice quaking, "I need a ride."

"Okay," Juugo answered obediently.

"Wait," the police officer said. "We can't let you out of our custody. We have to check you for shock, then I can drive you. You…"

But as the woman reached for him, Sasuke dodged and zipped away.

There was no time for this.

Juugo sprinted with Sasuke towards the car, Sasuke following closely behind and dashing ahead once he caught sight of it. Juugo was forced to park four blocks away, but now they could run through the traffic, sliding their bodies between cars when necessary.

The two boys sprinted together, neither offering the other so much as a glance.  _Finally_ , someone who understood the need for urgency. A split second after Sasuke had slammed his door shut, Juugo jumped into his seat and slammed the door with his left hand while he started the ignition with his right. Juugo hammered down the gas, the top-heavy pickup tearing down the highway like a bullet.

His body had stopped moving, but his heart wouldn’t. It beat so hard, so painfully fast, and he tried to breathe in deeply to catch his breath. He had sprinted full-speed for minutes, adrenaline not giving a single thought to his body’s limits. Concentrating on his breathing, he began to feel more oriented. They hadn't even been driving for a full minute until Sasuke realized that in his rush, he was forgetting something very important: Itachi had to know.

Normally, he would've dreaded making a call like this to his brother, having to inform them that their mother had died and their father's survival was by no means a guarantee, with his friend overhearing the entire conversation no less. Yet he was too distracted to ponder this, and there was no time for privacy. He picked up his phone to call his brother and was surprised when he found that his hands were trembling so much that he could barely dial.

"Hey Sasuke," Itachi's voice came over the phone with a laugh, and Sasuke could hear a female guffawing along with some top 40 song. "I'm kinda at a party here. You need something?"

"Come home."

Sasuke's voice was strangely composed, yet urgent. Itachi's bravado wavered as he paused.

"Sasuke, I'm two hours away. You know, up in the mountains?"

"I don't care. Come home as fast as you can."

"Sasuke…" Itachi paused, his concern now evident. "What's wrong?"

"There was an accident."

It sounded stupid to him once he’d said it, but what else was there to say? Even coming from his own mouth, it sounded unreal, as if someone removed from the situation had spoken for him.

"What do you mean? What kind of accident?"

"The house caught fire."

"Oh my god. How did it…"

There was no time for the details. He'd wanted to prepare Itachi for this news better, but he knew that in this situation, Itachi would prefer brevity.

"Itachi, listen to me. I don't know how or why, but the house is destroyed, and Mom didn't make it."

Silence.

"…What?"

"Mom's dead, Itachi. Dad's alive, but he's badly injured."

Still silence, other than the continued laughing of Itachi's classmates in the background.

"You have to hurry home. I don't know how serious the…"

"Las Haciendas?" Itachi interrupted, his voice cracking slightly.

Clearly, the two were related.

"Yeah."

"I'm on my way right now. See you in an hour."

_Click._

Sasuke had no idea how his brother was going to get all the way from his mountain retreat, eighty miles away and high in windy mountain trails, to Las Haciendas in an hour. But he prayed, for Itachi's sake, his own sake, and his father's sake, that Itachi could manage it. The air again went silent as Juugo's car ripped down the street.

"Sasuke, I'm so sorry…" Juugo mumbled, his voice in pained shock.

A tear brimmed at Juugo's eye as he glanced over at Sasuke, sniffing as he wiped it away with thick and slightly oversized fingers. Juugo feared for Sasuke, but he also had his own memories of Sasuke's parents. As large and tough as Juugo could appear, Sasuke knew that he had a big heart.

"Just drive."

They'd arrived. Already? He didn't know whether to be relieved or afraid.

"Want me to come in with you?"

"No, I'm fine. You should go home. It's a school night."

Juugo frowned, and they both knew that this was only an excuse. Sasuke needed his privacy, but Juugo could hardly stand to leave him there.

"Call me if you need anything, okay Sasuke? I don't care if it's four in the morning; you call me."

Sasuke nodded, standing now as his blood pressure plummeted. The change in elevation caused everything to sink away, and it was so much more difficult to live in the moment on his feet. He moved from one location to the next, meaningless lights, sounds, and other sensory stimuli bouncing off of him. The hospital's logo, blue and glaringly bright against the black night…

He was walking. Where was he going? What was happening? Someone was offering a wheelchair to him. Why? People seemed to be talking to him.

"Can you walk?"

Why would he be unable to walk?

The image of his living room collapsing resurrected itself, and all the haphazard color of the world around him seemed to return. Right, his house… His father. If he didn't get his act together, he might never see him again.

“A man came in here, probably an hour ago. Fugaku Uchiha.”

A nurse nodded and quickly ushered him to the front desk.

“It’s Fugaku Uchiha,” Sasuke told the older man behind the desk before he could ask. “He’s a burn victim. Critical condition.”

Sasuke bit his tongue as the man quickly skimmed over some sheets of paper.

“I need to see him as soon as possible.”

The man, with his owlish eyebrows and ruddy skin, nodded.

“Take him to 215, Ann.”

And then, as nurses padded his expectations, he learned how to speak once again. He mechanically accepted the truth now, as it was the only way to convince these senseless automatons to take him to his father. His home was gone, along with most everything he had ever owned. His mother was dead, and his father wasn't much better off.

"His condition is very critical."

"I understand."

"He's in a lot of pain and is heavily medicated. He might not be capable of coherent conversation."

"I understand."

"He's not going to look the same. There's been a lot of permanent damage."

"I understand."

"He might not survive the night."

Even though he’d expected this, the words hit him hard. He wouldn’t let on.

"Take me to him. Immediately."

The nurse gaped at the boy, surprised that Sasuke could convey composure, confidence, and authority so far beyond his years, even at such a time. She nodded, walking with Sasuke down the halls. He passed other rooms, partially opened, but Sasuke ignored the contents. His heart thudded painfully as he reached the door he had been told to expect. His hands were cold, sweaty, and shaky, but his face held its shape.

This had been all that Sasuke wanted from the second he'd been told the truth: just to see his father. So why did he feel like running away now? He swallowed hard, a hundred images of what his father might look like flurrying behind his eyes. He turned the door's handle and pushed, slowly. The door gently eased open as Sasuke stepped forward, and…

Machines beeped and hissed. A voice called a doctor over the PA. Footsteps filled the hallway behind him, some rushed, some reluctant, and others lethargic. Nurses read charts, a maintenance man checked a machine in the adjacent room, and a doctor spoke into a tape recorder in monotone. Everyone had somewhere to go or something to do, but Sasuke could only stand and stare.

His father took several long seconds to comprehend the presence of another person in the room.

"S'suke?" his father asked, so quietly that Sasuke could hardly hear. "Is that you?"

Valuable time passed as Sasuke's voice forsook him. What should he do? He wondered if he should sit beside his father and hold his hand. But one of his hands was gone now, and the other was so jumbled with tubes and needles that Sasuke feared injuring him. His father's useless stump of an arm was covered in reddened bandages, and a large portion of his father's face and skull were gauzed up. Sasuke couldn't see the damage to his father's abdomen and legs, but maybe that was for the best.

But his father had spoken, right? It had been delayed and distorted, but that came as no surprise. Even if he had become deformed, lost his arm, and suffered untold other damage, at least his mind was still intact.

"Sasuke?" his father called out, more clearly this time.

"Dad…"

It qualified as an answer, right? Hell, what else could he say? He'd never seen something so horrible before, and it took all of his pride and confidence right out of him. He was humbled by the unspeakable weight of reality. He'd played so brave before, but now he was afraid.

"'M so happy you're here."

"How bad is the pain?" Sasuke asked timidly.

His father merely grunted, as Sasuke should have expected.

Sasuke didn't know why his mind changed tracks so quickly, whether it masochistically wanted to torture him or really was just overloaded and randomly jumping about. But now he remembered his most recent conversation with his father, just hours ago. He remembered the look on his father's face when Sasuke had slammed the door, his now deceased mother staring at the scene in shock.

"Dad, what I said earlier… I'm really,  _really_  so-"

But his dad was laughing now, weakly.

"Y'know, sometimes it takes things like this… Duh'n't it seem silly now?"

"I guess," Sasuke replied softly.

"Don't apologize."

"But Dad…"

"If it hadn't happened, you'd 've ended up like your mother 'n me," Fugaku interrupted, his eyes falling down to his maimed arm but quickly refocusing on Sasuke's face. It was true. That argument was likely the only reason he was still alive.

"I didn't mean it."

"I know, S'suke," his father answered slowly. "So, so proud of you. I'm not just sayin' this cuz of the circumstance…" his father tilted his head to the equipment near his head, "Heh, or all the morphine. I really mean it. 'M lucky to have you as a son."

Sasuke rubbed the skin between his eyes, willing himself not to cry as he quickly ridded any telltale hints of moisture. He had to be strong right now. His next words were difficult, his tightening throat threatening to choke them off before they could leave his mouth.

"Dad, I… Itachi and I will take care of you, no matter what. Trust me, we'll make it work. Itachi is brilliant, and…"

"You're brilliant too, Sasuke."

"I know," Sasuke responded confidently.

Fugaku chuckled for just a moment, and Sasuke could hear what might have been blood rasp deep in his father’s chest. How typical of his son, even at such a time. He couldn't express how lucky he felt to have him here.

"But still, you'll have 'ta mind your brother now...even if he's not much older…"

What was his father getting at? He wasn't giving up, was he? Sasuke wouldn't allow it.

"Dad, don't say things like that."

A long, quiet breath escaped his father. His heart rate shot up, and his eyelids flitted. The machines began to beep hurriedly, a fearful cacophony conquering the room.

"Dad?" Sasuke called, frightened. "Dad!"

Fugaku started, as if jerked out of a slumber.

"Huh?"

"Dad, stay awake," Sasuke implored, his voice cracking. He bit the inside of his lip so hard it nearly bled, as he saw no other way to prevent the tears threatening to fall. What had just happened to his father? "I know you're in pain, but please don't fall asleep."

"Promise me that you'll be strong, and keep your head on straight. You got a lotta challenges ahead."

"It's not necessary to say things like…"

"Sasuke," Fugaku ordered firmly, in that tone Sasuke couldn't help but obey.

"I promise."

"Alright. Now go so you can greet your brother when he gets here."

Sasuke hesitated. He didn't want to leave his father's side. He didn't want to admit that if he left now, he might never speak to him again.

"Okay, but you need to be awake when he comes back here."

What Sasuke really meant by "awake" was no secret to either of them.

"…It'd be rude otherwise," Sasuke finished awkwardly.

Yet Fugaku merely smirked.

Sasuke turned, his palms covered in sweat now, but he stopped before leaving the room.

"I love you, okay Dad?"

He spoke quietly. Sasuke didn't believe in saying these things unless he was telling someone something new. But perhaps this was something his father had forgotten, and Sasuke didn't know how many more chances he'd have to remind him. He didn't want to live with that kind of remorse. As awkward and small as the words sounded leaving his mouth, he couldn't regret them.

"I know," Fugaku responded, repeating Sasuke's exact response to Fugaku's earlier compliment.

Fugaku was smiling at Sasuke now, his lips quaking. It seemed like it took so much of his strength to smile. Fugaku could count on his son to understand what he really meant by that comment. Sasuke understood his father, because if Sasuke had been in his situation, he likely would've said the same thing. No matter how often they clashed, in some ways the two of them were very similar. Perhaps that had been part of the problem to begin with. One was every bit as stubborn as the other.

Sasuke had never seen his father so close to tears before, and the freshman wondered if even he could've avoided crying at such a time. His dad was sure to be in horrible pain, but aside from that… His wife had died, and perhaps he would too. Why did he seem so unafraid? How could he be so strong?

Sasuke couldn't leave. It seemed so wrong to turn away. Perhaps he was being greedy, but if his father's time really was limited, he wanted every last second.

"Go ahead now, Sasuke."

Why did his father want him to leave? Was he too tired to talk to him? Was he embarrassed of the way he looked? Or perhaps there were things that Fugaku didn't want him to have to see. Regardless, if this was his father's wish, he'd reluctantly obey. He stared at his father, realizing now how much he'd taken for granted the limited time they'd shared over his life.

"I'll be back with Itachi in a few minutes. Stay up."

And though it was one of the last things in the world he wanted to do, Sasuke closed the door.

* * *

This was the story Sasuke told Naruto as they respectfully inhabited the plot where Sasuke's house had once stood. Of course, Sasuke found it prudent to water down the details to avoid the situation being even more awkward, as well as to keep his own composure. Still, it was enough to leave Naruto open jawed, staring towards Sasuke empathetically.

Sasuke had never expected the day to go like this. Naruto piqued his curiosity when he told Sasuke that his coworker mentioned a mansion being built in Sasuke's old neighborhood. Sasuke had heard about house values increasing over the past few months, but mansions? The ever-skeptical Sasuke would have to see it to believe it. So Sasuke had accepted Naruto's invitation to see "the new crib" with him.

Yet Naruto was right, the impressive structure on the opposite side of the cul de sac nearly finished, Mediterranean-style architecture and decorations making the house pop. It appeared that his old neighborhood was getting pretty damned classy.

Naruto gandered at the real estate with unadulterated wonder, though Sasuke was far too cool to gawk, of course. Regardless, it was interesting to see the neighborhood. It had changed, but, aside from the out of place mansion, not by much. Then again, he wasn't sure what he had expected after only a year. Yes, it had been interesting, but now, as a mild anxiety began to make itself known in Sasuke's chest without notice, he decided he'd had enough time to reminisce.

"Sasuke, where did you use to live?" Naruto asked, as if somehow able to read his thoughts.

Sasuke paused, finding it difficult to speak for the quick second it took for Naruto to correct himself.

"Never mind," he added nervously, scarred cheeks lightly blushing. "You don't have to show me if it's too tough. Sorry, I wasn't thinking."

"Of course not," Sasuke answered, now finding it necessary to prove that nothing was "too tough" for him. "I can show you."

After all, how difficult could it be? The thing was leveled, so what was there to say? Exhibit A: where my bike crashed and I got that nasty scar on my knee, Exhibit B: Itachi's favorite playground, and Exhibit C: bigass plot of dirt.

Yet what Sasuke had expected to be a thirty second tour became a heavy conversation. With support from Naruto, Sasuke began to remember and began to speak. Sasuke wondered if this had been Naruto's plan to begin with but didn't bother to figure it out. He was glad Naruto was here with him to keep his mind from wandering too far. There was no telling what he could have put himself through.

The sky was crowded with clouds, and the breeze had a bite to it. Naruto sat on a dried up tree stump in Sasuke's former backyard, and Sasuke rested on the ground. It was too difficult to look at Naruto directly, so he pulled out blades of recuperating grass one by one as he spoke, just for an excuse to stare at the dirt. Sasuke suspected that the vegetation had begun to recover last spring, though he had no way of knowing for sure. After the day of the fire, he'd never gone back. There was nothing here for him now.

Itachi went back to salvage some possessions, but all he found were the family's birth certificates and social security cards, which had been kept in a safe in the basement. Sasuke tried to save Itachi the trouble, insisting that everything had been destroyed, but he suspected that Itachi had other reasons for returning as well.

After all, Itachi lacked closure. For him, he just left for a party, and when he came back, everything was gone. It still felt unreal to Itachi, but to Sasuke it was all far, far too vivid. Itachi invited Sasuke to join numerous times, but Sasuke always had some excuse to avoid it. Eventually, Itachi had to go without him.

Perhaps this is what Naruto had meant when he told Sasuke that he needed to "deal with" his past. Naruto said that he couldn't run away forever, and it was true that the past still crippled him. Otherwise, Sasuke wouldn't have found it worth the effort. He had wondered how facing such a thing might be possible, but perhaps it could be accounted for by even little decisions, like the one he had just made.

"So, did your brother make it in time?" Naruto asked quietly.

Sasuke shook his head, frowning deeply.

"No. Dad was dead not even fifteen minutes after I left the room."

Itachi had never gotten to see their father, and Sasuke told Itachi very little about the fire or its aftermath. Itachi had no final words with his parents. As much as Sasuke knew this tortured his brother, he believed that some things were better left unseen. Sasuke knew that those sorts of things tend to stick in your skull, haunting you at their own discretion.

Sasuke hated the nightmares and the flashbacks he had following the fire. When he felt especially weak, he sometimes wished that he'd been too late as well, that he'd spent the night at Juugo's and found out the next morning. Naruto inhaled deeply and gave a long exhale, finding the heavy mood almost painful.

"Shit, Sasuke…"

What else could Sasuke do but shrug? Yeah, it was a messed up thing to happen. That much was obvious. But Sasuke didn't want pity, and that was no secret between them.

"Oh my god…" Naruto said, as if he'd had a sudden realization.

"Hm?"

Naruto's mind traced over the second time he had spoken to Sasuke. His brother had been late to pick him up. Sasuke had tried to call him, but no luck. It sounded awfully familiar.

He'd dismissed Sasuke as intriguing, but, nonetheless, pampered and sheltered. That day, he thought Sasuke was just overreacting and creating his own problems. He never would have guessed what lay behind his behavior.

"When we met…and your brother was late. I understand why you were upset now."

Sasuke frowned, wishing that Naruto hadn't remembered that. It had only been chance that Naruto had been present at such a time; Sasuke would have never revealed so much to a stranger under any other circumstance.

"You remember that?"

"And then I called you weird! Holy shit, I am a  _horrible_  person!"

Sasuke snickered, quietly amused by Naruto's reaction.

"I don't even remember you saying that."

This was a lie, but in all honesty, the "insult" never bothered him.

"It's official. I'm going to hell."

"So, do I go to hell for all the times I've pointed out your weirdness?" Sasuke teased.

"Hmmm…" Naruto answered, squinting his eyes at Sasuke in thought. Sasuke seemed distracted by something, tilting his head as he stood and walked towards a large rock. Naruto watched him curiously.

"Well damn…" Sasuke said, staring down at it with a slightly smirk. It was still there?

"What's that?"

"It's Mr. Squooble's gravestone."

Naruto dramatically arched a brow, staring at Sasuke in confusion.

"Who's Mr. Squooble?"

"He was my first hamster. The one my brother murdered," he replied with a hint of dry humor.

"Where'd ya get the name Mr. Squooble from?"

Sasuke sighed before reluctantly answering.

"He'd run on his hamster wheel all day, and I thought that the squeaking of the wheel sounded like someone saying 'squooble.' So I named him Mr. Squooble."

Naruto made some sort of odd noise between a croak and a squeal, having a hard time containing himself now.

"Oh my god, Sasuke, that's adorable."

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Shut it, I was four years old."

"Even cuter!"

Sasuke groaned as Naruto looked down at the headstone with a frown. There was a yellow flower that had been growing there, but someone or something must've uprooted it. Other than that, it was only sparse blades of grass. Naruto picked it up.

"Aw, there was a flower growing here?"

Sasuke leaned away as Naruto held it up, holding the flower by its stem and roots. It did seem a shame that the only flower growing in this desolate plot of dirt had met such an untimely demise.

"Look, it was a big one too," Naruto continued, showing it to Sasuke now.

Sasuke took a full step away.

"What's wrong?"

"It's gross."

Naruto looked at Sasuke dryly, wondering what exactly he was going on about.

"But… It's just an uprooted flower. How's that gross?"

Sasuke shook his head, sighing. Did he really need to explain this?

"It's the roots. They look like…they'd suck at you or something."

Naruto gave him a look.

"What?" Sasuke asked rather demandingly. "Don't you ever think that plant roots are disgusting?"

"Uh… No?"

Sasuke merely crossed his arms, still edging away from the flower.

"Wait a second…" Naruto stopped, grinning evilly as he finally comprehended the situation. "You're  _afraid_  of this?"

Sasuke,  _afraid_  of something? Did he have a phobia? That was something new.

"I'm not  _afraid_  of it," Sasuke corrected. "It's just nasty."

Oh, this was a priceless opportunity.

"So then you wouldn't mind if I did this!"

Naruto shoved the dead vegetation towards Sasuke's face. Sasuke struck Naruto's hand away, only for Naruto to let go of the plant in shock. The flower, roots first, arched upwards in the air elegantly before falling directly onto Sasuke's chest.

"Agh!" Sasuke interjected, a little more loudly and urgently than he'd intended.

The way he chucked the flower off of his body to the opposite side of the plot would have made his school's varsity volleyball team jealous. Naruto, meanwhile, erupted into laughter.

"Dude! You're afraid of a flower! A fucking  _flower_!"

Naruto basked in the hilarity of the situation until Sasuke's fist collided with Naruto's bicep. Naruto responded with like enthusiasm, and the next thing Sasuke could remember was toppling Naruto to the ground, the blond cackling the entire way down.

They rolled around each other, each struggling to pin the other with frustrated grunts and challenging glares. Sasuke was sure he'd seen someone stare, but he didn't care about that at the moment, even himself fighting the temptation to smile.

One year ago, something had happened at this very spot that changed him forever, that scarred him and haunted him. This is where the accident that killed both his parents occurred, where his mother had actually been suffocated to death. This spot of land had consumed his nightmares. And despite how many times he'd been pressured to share these memories with social workers who treated him like a toddler and psychiatrists with horrible comb-overs, until today, he had trapped everything in his own mind, where it had festered in the dark.

Yet here he was with his lover (a male no less, who saw that coming?) wrestling each other on this very same plot over the sounds of laughter and swear words. As distracted as he was by this imbecile's hands smashing into his face, he couldn't help but be impressed by how much one's life could change. And as pointless as today seemed, for whatever reason, Sasuke felt like he'd surrendered a small chunk of his burden.

Sasuke tumbled on top of Naruto, holding him down as Naruto laughed and tried to tug Sasuke off by his hair. Sasuke looked up, noting an old man in a maroon cardigan limping towards him. Sasuke knew that he was passing by his Sasuke's house, on the way to his own.

"Shit," Sasuke hissed quietly. "I know that guy."

"Pffft," Naruto snorted, only to get a boney elbow to the stomach.

The man stood in front of them now, the right side of his hair unkempt. The white strands were too thin to withstand the aggressive December breeze.

"Hello, Sasuke," the man said, staring down at the debacle in confusion as he stood on the sidewalk. He arched a brow at the two boys, who had stopped sparring and were merely lying on each other awkwardly.

"Hello, Mr. Wagner," Sasuke answered, not sounding the least bit embarrassed. It wasn't Sasuke's tradition to address others like this, but in the history of his contact with Mr. Wagner, he had never spoken to him any other way.

Sasuke and Naruto now freed themselves from each other, sitting apart now.

"I haven't seen you around here in a while."

Sasuke knew what he was getting at. He never knew Mr. Wagner all that well, besides the times that he would babysit Sasuke when his wife was still alive. But Mr. Wagner knew what happened, obviously; everyone in the neighborhood did.

"I haven't had a reason to come back, honestly," Sasuke admitted.

Mr. Wagner nodded silently. He remembered, long ago, when his mother told him that Mrs. Wagner had died. At only seven years old, Sasuke had insisted on bringing Mr. Wagner every single cookie his mother had baked for him that day. ("He needs  _all_  of them, Mom! Now is not the time to be selfish!") He'd always thought that of his old neighbors, if it came to an issue like this, Mr. Wagner would be one of the most understanding.

"Well… Tell me if you need anything. You know where I live."

"Will do," Sasuke responded, curtly but respectfully.

They waited in silence as the man hobbled past, Sasuke greatly appreciating the man's briskness. Naruto waited until he was out of earshot before he decided to tease Sasuke again.

"'Hello, Mr. Wagner,'" Naruto imitated, using the best nerd voice he could muster.

"Cram it, dumbass," Sasuke answered, yanking on Naruto's ear.

"Ow!" Naruto shouted, pushing Sasuke off and nursing the sensitive cartilage.

They were silent enough for the mood to change, just slightly.

"Hey, Sasuke…"

"Mn?"

"Do you ever talk to any of your old neighbors?"

Sasuke shook his head. Now that he thought of it, it  _was_  a little odd, considering how much time he used to spend with them. He used to have four or five good friends here, but after the fire, he fell out of contact with all of them. Three had even left him voicemails checking up on him, but he'd been too overwhelmed at the time to call them back. He'd procrastinated for months, and after enough time had passed, he figured that there was no point anymore.

"No."

It was difficult to speak with his old neighbors, because he associated them so closely with his home and family. They had known each other since early childhood. His mom had even babysat them. No wonder it was painful. That might have provided enough of an excuse, but it wasn't only his old neighbors he'd distanced himself from.

"They sound pretty cool, or at least that old guy did just now. And your friend too."

Thinking about all of this again reminded him of how close he used to be to his friends, especially Juugo and Sakura. It felt strange to know that so recently, he'd vented even something as silly as a family squabble to two different people nearly unprompted. He’d spoken to these people almost every day. He realized now how drastically he had distanced himself from both of them.

In Sakura's case, that, combined with Sasuke's darkening personality and delinquent tendencies, caused them to part for good, and not on the best of terms. Juugo and he still hung out, but their friendship was nothing like it used to be. Basically, they stuck to casual topics of conversation in public settings. They never went to each other's houses anymore.

Sasuke only socialized in large groups, almost never spending time with anyone alone. That could get demanding, and it made him feel far too open. Whom  _had_  he kept close, anyhow? All of his friends had become acquaintances.

The main exceptions: his brother, of course, and the guy beside him. How had Naruto found his way in just when he was pushing everyone else out?

"I wonder if I could meet him one day."

Sasuke nodded. The thought of Naruto meeting his friends felt strange, since none of them had a clue Naruto even existed. Yet another secret he was keeping from his clique. But things were going to change soon, and he had no bets for the future.

He reached into his back pocket for a pack of cigarettes that Juugo had given him last week. He felt some odd sort of resolution and introspection that he felt deserved a cigarette, and speaking of Juugo had reminded Sasuke of their presence. He frowned as he noticed that at least four cigarettes had been broken in their scuffle, holding one of the few intact ones between his lips as he reached for his lighter. But Naruto swiped it out of his mouth before he could get a light.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I was  _trying_  to light a cigarette," Sasuke said matter-of-factly.

"What the…" Naruto waved it in the air. "I seem to hear something."

Naruto stopped, placing a hand on his ear and straining to hear some imaginary noise.

"Oh, hello! That's the sound of  _lung cancer_!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Naruto, I'm not a smoker. You would've smelled it on me by now."

"Eh…" Naruto answered skeptically. Even if Sasuke hadn't smoked before today, no one  _plans_  on getting addicted.

"It's rare, maybe a couple times a month. So don't throw a fit."

"Wait, you've smoked cigarettes before?"

Sasuke arched a brow nonchalantly.

"Did you think this was my first time or something?"

"What the… How did I not know this?!"

"You never asked."

"Jeeez, first I find out you're all pro at basketball, now you're smoking a cigarette, and gah, too much, Sasuke. Who  _are_  you?"

"Calm down, spazzoid," Sasuke answered.

Naruto scowled, handing the cigarette back begrudgingly. He stared at Sasuke as he lit the cigarette with a couple short puffs. He took a deep hit and blew the smoke in the direction of the wind, trying to save Naruto from a face full of smoke. He finally looked back at Naruto and inhaled again, getting sick of his staring.

"What?" he asked, breathing out a stream of warm smoke into the cool December air.

Naruto couldn't help but stare… The sight of Sasuke smoking was just too weird! His mind had never put Sasuke and cigarettes together, though considering what occupation Sasuke had been taking up lately, maybe it shouldn't have been surprising. He hated smoking, sincerely. It was unhealthy and tacky. But he couldn't admit that he thought Sasuke looked a little cool with a cigarette between his lips, like in the movies or something. Dammit, what  _couldn't_  that bastard make look good?

"Nothing."

The blond shrugged but continued to watch him closely. Smoking was taboo for people their age. Taboo, deadly, and…he was horribly curious. It's not like he wanted to develop a habit, but… What could one hit hurt? Just to say he'd tried it? But Sasuke was staring at him impatiently, flicking some ash into the dirt with this thumb.

"Hey, do you think I could try it?"

So it  _wasn't_  nothing. Sasuke's right brow inched up.

"You want to smoke?"

"No, not really… I just wanna take one puff! To see what it's like."

"Maybe when you're older."

This caused a squawking sound to erupt from Naruto, who looked ready to choke on his own spit as he flailed around.

"What the hell?! I'm older than you are!"

Sasuke merely smirked, used to such a reaction by now, but finding it no less amusing. He hadn't actually meant it; he just wanted to find a new way to get under Naruto's skin.

" _One_  cigarette. If you get addicted to these things, I am beating your ass in. I won't be responsible for a habit," Sasuke stated, handing over the smoke.

Naruto stared at the burning tobacco cancer stick. He felt like a little bit of a hypocrite, but it's not like he was going to do it regularly. Still, he felt so nervous. Why? It was just a cigarette! And of course Sasuke had to be here, staring at him all smugly. He was smirking now… Dammit, Sasuke could tell he was hesitating!

Staring at Sasuke challengingly, Naruto took a long drag from the cigarette.  _There_. That would show him!

Wait… Oh god, this stuff was  _foul_. It seemed to expand in his throat, scraping and irritating it. He couldn't inhale. His throat pushed back up, and Naruto held his breath to avoid any coughs. He wouldn't do it, not in front of Sasuke. He just sat with the cigarette between his lips, the smoke burning his eyes.

But the more he fought his lungs, the more insistent they became, and the next second Naruto was hacking, the cigarette falling out of his mouth and onto the ground. He bent over, his face reddening as he gagged, his body threatening to wretch.

When he finally caught his breath, he looked over at Sasuke reluctantly. The bastard was smirking at him.

"Shut up! You…"

But apparently Naruto's throat wasn't ready for shouting, the blond once again descending into body-wracking coughs. Sasuke just watched and shook his head.

"Sasuke! How the hell can you actually  _enjoy_  this?"

"The buzz is nice. You know, if you can actually keep a breath down."

A small stream of smoke was wafting up into the air.

"Shit!" Naruto shouted.

He bent over, quickly grabbing the still lit cigarette and putting it out. What could Naruto had been afraid of? There was nothing to catch fire here.

"Chill. You act like you're gonna burn a house down or something," Sasuke told Naruto with a straight face.

"Well, it's not good to leave a burning cigarette… Wait a second."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, taking out another cigarette and lighting it. He had wondered if the comment would go over Naruto's head altogether.

"Oh my god! Sasuke, the master of dark humor. My disciple surpasses me!"

"Disciple?" he asked, taking another puff. "More like you've contaminated me."

"Defiled…" Naruto waited before adding with a devilish grin, "Deflowered."

"Says the dumbass who begged for me the other night."

"Hah! Hardly!"

A loud chime sounded, informing Sasuke that he'd just received a text message. Pulling it from his snug jean pocket, he unlocked his phone and began thumbing back a response without much thought. Just another acquaintance wondering "wats ^." Was "^" supposed to stand for "up"? He felt like a permanently perturbed senior who could never quite figure out what was wrong with kids these days.

As he returned to his inbox to check for any other new messages (apparently there were two), he pulled the cigarette from his mouth, flicking some of the ash into the dirt absentmindedly.

"You know… I never deleted the texts from that night."

"Huh?" Naruto answered, too distracted by their previous conversation to change tracks so quickly. " _Oh…_ " he added, finally understanding.

Naruto recounted the day he had combed through Sasuke's cell phone, ultimately sending some rather incriminating text messages to a female friend of his. He remembered seeing a set of messages from who he had assumed was Sasuke's mother. At the time, he had not even known that Sasuke's parents were gone, so he had no real reason to pay them much attention.

Naruto swallowed hard as the fact hit him: the messages he had unwittingly read were Sasuke's last communication with his mother. He felt guilty for invading Sasuke's privacy, yet honored that Sasuke would willingly share this with him to begin with.

Meanwhile, Sasuke took an especially long drag, regretting that he'd admitted this. Not enough nicotine…

"Doesn't it… Isn't it difficult to see that? I mean you must see it when you go through your messages, right?"

As he had sat beside Naruto in front of St. Magdalene's that night, his brother far too late… He had scrolled through the phone first to check for a text from his brother before he decided to worry. He'd allowed himself to linger over a certain one: September 27, 4;01 pm.

_"Your father and I love you very much. Be safe."_

In fact, he tended to linger over that a little too often… At least when he wasn't so eager to avoid it that he wouldn't even scroll his inbox past November, lest his thumb prove overzealous. It seemed to be either one extreme or the other.

Two weeks after the accident, he had stared at the message a couple hours before sunrise, over-drugged and sedated thanks to a new medication regimen his quack of a shrink had been so keen on. His thumbs clumsily tapped the screen.

"I shoukd have told you to come earlier. I miss you mom…"

_Are you okay?_

The familiar phone number asked, weeks ago. Sasuke propped himself up that night, the walls warping slightly, seeming to slant inwards at the ceiling. This medication was strong.

"no." he admitted, for the only time in his life.

These were messages he knew she'd never receive, and the ones he liked to ignore. Fortunately, he rarely had a reason to look over his "sent" folder.

Again, he was repeating his mistakes, letting the memories take him. Naruto quietly awaited his answer, however, figuring that Sasuke needed this time to contemplate.

"Yes," he admitted. "But I can't bring myself to delete them. And even if I could…"

Naruto nodded slowly, placing his hand on Sasuke's shoulder.

"In your shoes, I could never delete it. I don't think you should."

Sasuke looked away, deciding to speak but then thinking against it. He occupied his mouth with his cigarette. He was grateful to have such a powerful memory of his parents. He just wished that it didn't have to be accessible through something he so frequently used. This wasn't something he could shove in a box and bury in a basement. If he felt depressed, torturing himself was as easy as reaching into his pocket.

Sasuke was still fighting for a proper grasp of balance. He could read over the messages every day if he wanted to. But at what point would his efforts be treasuring his parents' memory, and at what point would they become unhealthy and masochistic? It would be so much simpler to do one or the other: to repress or dwell. It was healthy moderation that was so difficult to achieve.

"I just hope the phone doesn't break," Sasuke said, unnecessarily ashing his cigarette in his uneasiness. At this rate, he'd shake the remaining tobacco out. Fortunately for Sasuke, Naruto had no idea how to properly ash a cigarette and thus no way of telling that Sasuke had erred.

"Do you look at them often?"

Sasuke frowned, breathing in the tobacco deeply. It seemed so unfair to Naruto… It was one thing to know that Sasuke's parents were gone, but to hear him talk about it… He felt his eyes going wet, and he tried to hide it from Sasuke.

"You look like you feel a little too badly for me," Sasuke said, smiling slightly.

"It's just…"

"Heavy."

"Yeah."

Despite everything Naruto had gone through, the guy was a bleeding heart. Naruto had way, way too much empathy, but then again, Sasuke supposed that someone in the relationship had to balance him out. Still, he didn't want Naruto wasting his emotional energy fussing over him. That wouldn't do any good for either of them.

"I've got someone to take care of me now. I have a great brother, an attractive boyfriend, a decent education…"

"Attractive?" Naruto answered, cocking his head slightly. "Is that all you have to say about me?"

"What? You're a hot piece of ass."

"Perv."

Sasuke merely shrugged, genuinely unapologetic. Naruto snorted, noting how Sasuke made no attempts to fight him on that accusation. There was a pause between the two, the tense atmosphere having lifted somewhat. And then…

"…It really does taste like licking an ashtray."

Naruto stuck out his tongue, making a face. Sasuke smirked. After all of the oddly tasting kisses Naruto had put him through, from morning breath to creamed herring, vengeance was sweet.

"Ch, idiot."

There wasn't much else to do here now, and the clouds were darkening. A light drizzle of rain fell down on them, the two exchanging a quick nod. Naruto stood quickly, reaching out his hand to Sasuke. When Sasuke accepted, Naruto attempted to fling his dark-haired lover into his chest, but Sasuke saw it coming in advance. Instead, Sasuke took his momentum and jerked Naruto towards him, Naruto almost losing his footing.

If he'd learned one thing from all of his introspection today, it was that things could change one hell of a lot. As draining as it had been to think about the past, he couldn't feel melancholic as Naruto teased him, making an imbecile of himself and occasionally hanging on him. Naruto was acting a little sillier than usual, it seemed. Perhaps he was trying to distract him.

This would've never been what he had wanted for himself, a year back in time. He would have never chosen this life, yet things happened that were out of his control. Things happened that Sasuke would have never been able to imagine. Now, his life was again on the brink of great change. His brother's health was still questionable, Naruto was bound to be discovered, and the little "arrangement" he had with Kabuto? He could only hope that it would be as simple as calling it off.

What could he control? The frightening thing was that there was no way to know. But now he knew that he had more control than he had once realized. He was strong. Whatever happened, he knew that he would find a way around it, over it, and through it.


	38. Chapter 38

Sasuke didn't know whom he'd sit with at lunch today. He didn't know what would happen, or what the day would bring. But Sasuke  _did_  know exactly what he needed to do, and nothing would dissuade him.

It was his first day at school after he had met Orochimaru with Kabuto. After all that had happened since then, from Itachi's surgery to Sasuke's merry little field trip to his old house, it seemed like such a long time ago.

He didn't know whether his skipping school would raise flags for Kabuto or not. He didn’t want Kabuto to get the idea that he was on the defense, and thus vulnerable. Sasuke  _was_  obviously sick and had missed a few days of school even before their incident with Orochimaru, thanks to that idiot in his bedroom who so frequently forced Sasuke to rest. Furthermore, he was sure that the night of what Sasuke assumed would be his final deal, Kabuto could hear the sickness in his throat. Maybe he had dismissed Sasuke's absence as a fluke.

Sasuke sighed as Kabuto slowly approached him through the halls that grey pony-tailed head drawing nearer. Even looking at him drudged up annoyance and distaste. Kabuto inconspicuously navigated through the throng of high schoolers making their way into the cafeteria for lunch period, soon finding his way to Sasuke’s side.

He regarded Sasuke unassertively before adding politely, "Hi, Sasuke. I need to talk to you about something."

"Likewise," Sasuke answered simply.

Kabuto tilted his head in mild surprise, browsing the halls momentarily. It was rare for Sasuke to seek Kabuto out.

"400's bathroom in five."

This was their temporary meeting place during this time of day. It was far away from the cafeteria and on the second story, so it was rarely used during lunch hour. It was the only other place besides Kabuto car where they could speak confidentially and trade “inventory.” Hopefully, their conversation would be uninterrupted.

"Sure."

They parted ways, Sasuke stuffing his anatomy book into his backpack. Would he spend the lunch period in the library again? Perhaps, but if Kabuto tried to intimidate him, he wouldn't let the older male scare him away. What would Kabuto have to say to him this time?

He made his way up the stairs and walked his way up the hall, pushing the door open. Kabuto was already waiting for him, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. It seemed that he'd been staring at the door the instant Sasuke entered.

"Hey, Sasuke."

Sasuke’s response was only a grunt, stare both suspicious and cold.

Kabuto frowned.

"Look, Sasuke… I wanted to say I'm sorry for last Thursday." Kabuto dropped his arms, hoping to assume a more inviting posture before adding, "I really should've given you a heads up."

Sasuke raised a brow. He'd never heard Kabuto apologize before, but then again, the vast majority of the words out of that guy's mouth served an ulterior motive.

"You should be."

Kabuto's lip twitched, and it was obvious to Sasuke that he was holding his tongue.

"But you were great in there. Orochimaru really took a liking to you."

“Good for him.”

"And you know, if you ever want to work with him, he's always available."

Sasuke sighed, shifting his weight to his other foot.

"I wasn't going to ask you for this," Kabuto told Sasuke sheepishly, "But the timing works out such as…"

Sasuke stared back at Kabuto flatly.

"Spit it out."

Kabuto did not appreciate being bossed around, and this was obvious. Yet he somehow managed to pull it together, through clenched teeth and a sharp jaw. Sasuke wondered what exactly Kabuto wanted out of him.

"Do you want to make some money? Some  _real_  money?" Kabuto told him with a leer.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. This didn't sound good. He'd  _told_  himself he didn't want to deal with this asshole anymore. But regardless, would it hurt to satisfy his curiosity?

"I thought I told you to spit it out."

Kabuto huffed under his breath, glaring at Sasuke now. Yes, Sasuke was being insolent. But he didn't want Kabuto to think he could weasel his way back into Sasuke's trust. Now was no time to be soft, and Sasuke would establish his dominance in this situation. It was Kabuto asking something of him, not the other way around.

"A friend of my uncle's is loaded. He's a millionaire. Well, he's leaving for a weekend, and the sucker doesn't even lock his house. He doesn't even have a security system, despite being robbed last year. He's a sitting duck."

Sasuke's eyes widened, and he merely stared back at Kabuto. Sasuke thought he knew what Kabuto was getting at, but he hoped he was wrong.

"Are you…seriously suggesting that we rob someone's house?"

Kabuto sighed, staring towards the ground. This was an act. It had to be.

"Look, I know it sounds bad. But all we need to do is walk in the front door and take a bunch of smaller valuables with a huge price tag. We’re not taking any TVs. He has a lot of very expensive jewelry we could pawn off."

Sasuke looked at Kabuto dully, hardly believing what he’d heard.

“We just walk in and walk out, quietly. No one will be the wiser.”

Sasuke shook his head, snickering.

"You didn't strike me as the type to be an aspiring comedian, Kabuto."

Kabuto frowned.

"This is an opportunity, Sasuke. You could make  _thousands_ , even _tens_ of thousands. It could change your life."

Yes, he could make thousands. By becoming a criminal. Even if he were still the person he used to be before Naruto entered his life, he  _still_  doubted he would have considered this. It was outrageous.

Sasuke scoffed, "I have no doubts that it could change my life."

"I know you've been taking some risks lately. But where has it gotten you? You're a few thousand dollars richer and haven't gotten in one single speck of trouble."

Yes, this was true. But the stakes were ever escalating, and Sasuke was being pushed into being someone else entirely. It was only a matter of time until it caught up with him, and he had responsibilities to others which would be wholly irresponsible to jeopardize.

"Your plan is beyond stupid."

Kabuto smiled at Sasuke, the left side of his lips rising to show a glimmer of teeth.

"Our friends didn't seem to think it was such a ridiculous idea."

Sasuke paused, staring at Kabuto incredulously.

" _What?_ "

For the first time since this conversation had begun, Sasuke sounded affected.

"You heard me," Kabuto sneered. "Karin, Suigetsu, and even Juugo…  _All_  of them are in. While you were staying home from school last week nursing your booboos, we came to a decision."

Sasuke was dumbfounded, but more than that… Karin and Suigetsu… Yes, they were stupid. Stupid, easily influenced, and immature. But still… They went to parties together, they shopped together, and they ate together. And Juugo… Juugo was a good guy. He had a decent head on his shoulders, and he'd helped Sasuke through some horrible times (or at least he'd attempted to).

Whether it was embarrassing to admit or not, these people were his  _friends_. And they were going to break into someone's house to steal thousands of dollars' worth of possessions. Perhaps even worse, they were going to do it with  _this_  creep, the guy who had casually shoved a loaded .45 into Sasuke's hand just days ago.

It couldn't be true. They were wayward, yes. They drank, shoplifted, smoked weed, and sold gateway drugs. But  _this_? This was far beyond the scope of his group's usual rebellion. Maybe this was something Kabuto wouldn't even blink at. But for them… No, they couldn't  _possibly_  be that stupid.

"I don't believe that for a fucking second."

"Oh?" Kabuto lifted his brows whimsically, mockingly. "Well, you're free to ask them about it."

Silence. It had to be a lie. Kabuto smirked.

"See, Sasuke. It's not so bad. We'll all be there with you. You don't have to be afraid."

"You think I'm  _afraid_?"

"If you're not afraid, then prove it."

Did Kabuto seriously think that he could talk Sasuke into robbing a house by putting his ego on the line? Sasuke knew he was being underestimated, but he had more pressing things to care about than this loser's opinion of him.

"You've been manipulating people for so long," Sasuke answered, sounding unimpressed. "And still, this is the best you can do?"

"Sasuke…" Kabuto answered, his voice stern now. "Your brother's barely pulling through, and here you are just studying, sleeping, and eating. You’re not a man; you’re a child. Do you even give a shit that you're a leech?"

Sasuke lagged. That one… That one had actually hurt. He  _was_  a leech. Sure, he'd made a little money on the side, but what was this compared to what Itachi had done for him? It wasn't his responsibility to become Sasuke's parent. Itachi was hardly even an adult. Sasuke was taking his youth away from him, forcing him to become someone so mature for his years. Itachi was suffering because of him, and all he did was eat, study, clean, and sleep.

Sasuke knew that if Kabuto were to manipulate him, this was exactly what he should say. It hit him heavy and hard. This was a weak spot, and Sasuke admitted this to himself. Everyone has weak spots, but that didn't mean he'd allow himself to be controlled.

 _I'm only fifteen_ , he'd wanted to say.  _It's not my fault. I'm doing everything I can._

But he didn't need to explain himself, not to this asshole. That would invite debate. It would tell Kabuto that his words had been effective and put Sasuke on the defensive.

"What happens in my family is none of your concern."

Kabuto laughed. He actually  _laughed_. He stared at Sasuke for several seconds, Sasuke tilting his head with an irate and impatient expression on his face as if to say, "Are you done yet?"

"After your parents got roasted alive? You call that a  _family_? Hilarious."

That fucking son of a bitch… How  _dare_  he, Sasuke asked himself venomously with white hot rage. He couldn't allow someone to say such things about his family or his parents.  _No one_  was allowed to belittle his parents' death. Kabuto had to pay for his disrespect.

He felt himself regress, remembering how he'd felt when he'd gotten in all of those fights. He remembered breaking Sai's nose, giving some junior a black eye, and the skin of his own lip busting open. When he saw those scars on his body, he remembered, and it  _satisfied_  him.

He felt the same anger, the same raw energy at this moment. His fist clenched so tight that his knuckles whitened, his short nails indenting the skin of his palm. He widened his stance and brought back his right shoulder, his body unconsciously preparing him for combat. He wanted to break this asshole's face, so brutally that it would never repair.

But that was how he used to be. He was a child back then, seeing nothing but his own issues and needs. He had responsibilities now, and people to be strong for. He couldn't fight at school. He'd get suspended, and the school and courts would be on his back in no time. It wasn't about him anymore. He wouldn't do this to his brother, to Naruto, or even to himself.

Furthermore, Sasuke knew that his reaction was part of Kabuto's plan all along. Sasuke's sadistic disposition was no secret to Kabuto. When saying such things, Kabuto probably expected Sasuke to react violently. For some reason, Kabuto wanted to get into a fight with Sasuke, and Sasuke was strongly against giving Kabuto what he wanted.

"Yes, I  _do_  have a family."

 _Unlike you_.

That had been on the tip of his tongue. Kabuto had left himself wide open for that, but if he was going to insult Kabuto, he'd at least show a little class. He'd remain calm. He wouldn't grant Kabuto the satisfaction of setting him off. Sure, Sasuke didn't have a mother or a father anymore. But he did have one brother who would do just about anything for him. That was enough.

Yet there was another person… Someone who shared a home with him, a bed…and meals,  _many_  meals. The circle was expanding. He wasn't alone now.

Sasuke smiled at Kabuto, and it was genuine.

"And we're doing fine."

Kabuto was incensed by Sasuke's attitude, stepping towards him angrily. Kabuto's attempts were failing, and he was becoming frustrated. He was losing his cool, his upper lip snagged in a sneer. What control Kabuto lost, Sasuke gained. Sasuke observed Kabuto distantly, seeming almost untouchable.

"You don't believe that. You're  _not_  fine, Sasuke. Your so-called family is falling apart at the seams, and you're just sitting back and watching."

Sasuke smirked, "What a simple target you've picked. Your predictability has made you boring."

Kabuto sneered, "You deflect because it's true."

Kabuto took another step forward. Sasuke didn't budge, staring directly into Kabuto's eyes.

"I'm not going to defend myself. I don't give a damn what you think, and it's none of your business."

"Alright. Alright then, you're obviously set on being unreasonable. So let me phrase this differently. If you sit this out, I'm never giving you  _shit_  again. I'll blacklist you with Orochimaru. You'll be done. If you want to raise money for your brother, you better start mowing lawns."

Sasuke couldn’t help but hide his satisfaction, the right corners of his lips rising up.

"Perfect."

" _What?_ " Kabuto asked, his expression demanding an explanation.

"That's what I wanted to discuss with you. Did you think I was bluffing on Thursday?"

Kabuto stepped back, his gaze widening as he understood what Sasuke referred to. Kabuto hadn't taken him seriously. At the time, he really had still been debating whether or not to step out of things with Kabuto. He hated to admit that he could've well come back with a completely different attitude.

"You're a pathetic piece of shit, Sasuke. You’re a coward and a leech."

Kabuto had moved close to him now, staring down at him, their chests pressed together. Kabuto's back faced the door, blocking Sasuke from it. Kabuto was trying to intimidate him. Sasuke decided that it wouldn't work like that.

"I'm done. You're useless to me now."

Kabuto shook his head, laughing.

"Hah! Wow, Sasuke. Wow! You have  _really_  fucked up."

Sasuke tilted his head back to look at the taller man, his brow elevated in wry distaste.

"Kabuto, I have better things to do with my time than listen to a jobless, twenty-one year old high school student lecture me about being a leech. Best of luck."

Sasuke turned away, moving around Kabuto to reach the door. However, just as he passed Kabuto, the senior's fist clenched Sasuke's shirt, yanking Sasuke towards him. They were crammed together now, and Sasuke wondered if Kabuto would attempt to strike him.

" _Obviously_ , you need some time to reconsider. You won't be able to shake me so easily, Uchiha."

Kabuto seemed to think he could push Sasuke around, pulling Sasuke up to meet his height. Sasuke's heels parted with the ground. Keeping his forearm straight and strong, from his elbow to his knuckles, Sasuke knocked Kabuto's hand out of the way, freeing himself before he stormed towards the door.

"Go fuck yourself, Kabuto."


	39. Chapter 39

This was ludicrous. He couldn’t even believe he was having this conversation. Yes, they'd sold drugs, shoplifted, and hit up wild parties, but this… This was breaking and entering. This was  _thousands_  of dollars’ worth of theft. It was the sort of decision that could reconfigure a future with a single tick of the clock.

"Yeah, it's true," Juugo answered with a nod, unable to look directly into Sasuke's demanding stare.

He'd taken Juugo into the very same restroom he'd met Kabuto in. He’d wanted to go through this with Juugo before school ended, and he had. The last class of the day was just about to begin. Sasuke could hear people passing by, chattering and occasionally roughhousing. It was only a matter of time until someone walked in on them, but he had to talk to at least one of his friends before school let out.

"We're going the weekend after next."

He didn't give a damn about Kabuto. Any sympathy he might have felt for the man was dead. His friends, however…

Suigetsu and Karin were fortunately both minors. However, Juugo has just breeched eighteen, though he thankfully had no legal record as far as Sasuke knew. Other than Naruto, Juugo was questionably his best friend. This could easily ruin Juugo's  _life_ , and none other than Kabuto was at the helm. Sasuke wasn't the type to help people who refused to be helped, but considering what could happen to his friends, he'd at least make an attempt. After all, what did he have to lose?

"Are you out of your mind?" Sasuke hissed, his disbelieving eyes demanding an explanation.

This didn’t seem like Juugo to Sasuke. He had to admit, however, that they’d both been drifting apart over the past year.

"I know, Sasuke," Juugo conceded with a sigh. "I just… I  _need_  this."

Sasuke merely stared at first, causing Juugo to shuffle uncomfortably. He needed this? Why would he ever need something like  _this_? Was it a matter of money? A thirst for rebellion? What?

"What are you talking about? Kab-"

The door opened, and an unknowing freshman walked towards a stall. Sasuke sighed, rubbing his temples. He felt so frustrated with all of them. Idiots… It was all frustration, he told himself.

"I'll discuss this with you later. Until then, don't do anything stupid."

* * *

That was the last he'd spoken with his friends at school today. Now he sat at the back of his school bus, alone. His mind shifted away from his friends, doubts resurfacing. Although he'd remained relatively calm in the situation, he fumed in the back of his mind over the things Kabuto had said to him earlier that day. A part of him regretted not bashing a couple of teeth out while he'd had the chance, at the most perfect moment.  _No one_  should talk that way about his family. Why had he allowed it?

However, as Sasuke combed over the course of the day, another emotion began to subjugate this regret: pride. Kabuto had been trying to manipulate Sasuke, trying to rile him up and see him hurt. In the past, Sasuke's predictably sadistic disposition would have made him much easier to play. Sasuke had refused to give Kabuto what he wanted – a fact which had been made obvious on Kabuto's face.

He had been egging Sasuke on, just begging for him to throw a punch. If Sasuke had possessed the same temperament that he had even a few months ago, a violent explosion from Sasuke would have been safely predictable. There was no telling what kind of trouble he would have been in right now.

Kabuto only became more frustrated as the conversation continued, and in the end, Sasuke was the one who left the room with a smirk on his face. So why was he brooding over this? Sure, Kabuto had only been trying to upset him, but he had been right. He was a dead weight.

Sure, he'd behave. Come adulthood, his record would be spotless. Yet he'd become a burden to Itachi. He'd saved Itachi's life. Sasuke tried to console his aching conscience with that fact. But if Sasuke hadn't been born to begin with, Itachi would have gotten treatment before things had progressed to this point. How could he really claim to have helped Itachi, when just his presence endangered and restricted Itachi like this?

But what else could he do? He'd searched desperately for work. He'd gone through the malls, online employment databases, grocery stores… Work was hard enough to find for adults, let alone fifteen-year-olds with no work experience. There were only so many lawns he could mow, so many possessions he had to sell.

Even Naruto had begun to earn money, though he was taking dire risks in doing so. He couldn't remember the last time he or Naruto had eaten anything besides pasta, cereal, bread, and instant ramen. Sasuke's grades had remained high, and along with everything else, there was hardly time for sleep. Between Sasuke's stress, his malnourishment, and his lack of sleep, he was exhausted in every sense of the word.

He wasn't enjoying this bus ride. He stared out the window, allowing the school rush traffic to distract him. He just wanted to go home. Juugo, Karin, and Suigetsu… All of them were fools. He knew he had to fix things with them,  _had_  to talk them out of this. He didn't know how he'd do it, but he had to try. Still, it made him feel rather alone.

His shoulders were slumped when he approached his front door. Naruto was vacuuming the living room carpet when he entered. Sasuke was able to reach the kitchen unnoticed by Naruto, any noise he made tuned out by the loud suction of the vacuum. However, the instant Naruto noticed Sasuke, the machine was silenced.

"Hey, Sasuke," he beamed, walking over and kissing Sasuke on the cheek.

Naruto was being awfully affectionate, aware that the day must have been difficult for Sasuke. Naruto was appreciative that he had gotten off of work early today. He wanted to be there to greet Sasuke when he got home.

"I did it."

This was a bear hug if he'd ever had one. Sasuke believed he heard joints crack.

"Sasuke! I'm  _so_  proud of you! Agh, ya little bastard…" Naruto said, tickling at Sasuke's sides. "Finally taking my divine wisdom seriously!"

"Would you stop manhandling me?" Sasuke requested, only half full of sincerity.

"Not until you understand the extent of my pride.  _Pride_."

Sasuke smiled faintly.

"Yeah… Well, it's over now. The straight and narrow for me."

Naruto shook his head, still laughing.

"I've been waiting so long for this, ever since I found out what a sneaky little bastard you've been recently."

And finally, he could stop worrying about Sasuke. Naruto was sure that Sasuke's future had become brighter today. Rather than responding, Sasuke shrugged.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Naruto stared at Sasuke openly, wondering if he could make Sasuke fluster. Shit, why had he even attempted? Of course he couldn't get a read from him.

"Okay, I get it. You don't have to tell me."

"Thanks," Sasuke answered.

It seemed that Naruto was working on being more patient with Sasuke’s slow pace in opening up rather than prying his way in out of concern. He knew that Naruto was trying. Still, he refused to tell Naruto about what Kabuto had said. He didn't need Naruto's reassurance; he was too strong for that.

Sasuke sat down and poured himself a bowl of cereal. He hadn't eaten at school today, since things had gotten so hectic. But he was starving, and he was glad when Naruto wordlessly followed him, pouring himself a bowl of generic Captain Crunch. The cereal chattered against the porcelain bowl, emitting a small poof of crumbs towards the end. It tasted way too sweet and cut the roof of one's mouth even worse than the original, but given their financial situation, it would have to do.

The two ate wordlessly, and Sasuke was enjoying the peace and the companionship after the turn this day had made. He felt entirely safe and relaxed with Naruto there, and he noticed that recently, Naruto had come to tolerate their silences much better. Naruto no longer felt the need to fill any emptiness with words, just to bleach it of any unspoken and undecipherable meaning or mystery said emptiness might have held. These days, Naruto was usually more comfortable with not knowing, although given the depth of their relationship, he often knew anyhow.

"Was it simple?" Naruto asked quietly.

"Was what simple?"

"You know what I mean."

"I suppose," Sasuke answered, his voice reminiscent of a shrug, though he didn't move.

"So, he just let you go? No strings attached?"

Sasuke continued to eat, not looking back at Naruto.

"I've got it handled."

Blue eyes narrowed slightly.

"He's trying to hold one over on you, huh?"

"I don't know. It's too early to say."

"Ah…"

The crunching of cereal was the only sound for several seconds. It was the sort of cereal that rendered futile any attempts to eat in polite silence.

"You'd tell me if you were in any danger, right?"

Naruto didn't want to overreact, but this  _was_  the guy who had given Sasuke a loaded gun and hooked him up with a drug dealer well over twice his age. He knew very little about the man, but what little knowledge he did have was more than enough to concern him.

"Mhm," Sasuke lied. What could Naruto do about it, even if he was? It would worry Naruto needlessly, and Sasuke was quite aware of how Naruto liked to worry over him. There were few benefits to letting him know and plenty of disadvantages.

They continued to eat, Naruto's brows knitting in blatant concern. He had always been so easy to read, and Sasuke tried not to smile in amusement.

"How's work been?" Sasuke asked, changing the subject to save Naruto from his thoughts.

"Oh, great!" Naruto answered enthusiastically. He'd always been so conveniently easy to distract. "I mean, I spent a good part of today cleaning out Port-o-potties, but Jo and I had a great time. She's so funny."

Naruto had never mentioned anyone named Jo before, though Sasuke left this unmentioned, as he frankly didn't care about her either way. His question had achieved its purpose either way.

"Your optimism borders on delusion," Sasuke told him with a good-natured smirk.

Of course Naruto could have a good day working around human feces and sweat. If anyone could do it, he could.

"It's a gift," Naruto answered through a toothy grin.

"And a curse. You're idealistic and far too trusting."

Naruto tossled his hair with a passionate shake of the head.

"No way. I see the world for how it really is!"

Sasuke arched a skeptical brow at Naruto.

"C'mon, don't you ever get sick of being so cynical all the time?"

"I never get sick of realism."

"Of course  _you_  wouldn't. You're always so stiff," Naruto chided playfully, sticking out his tongue.

Sasuke gripped Naruto's tongue between his thumb and pointer finger, Naruto laughing and pushing Sasuke away.

"It's better to be a stiff than an idiot."

"Nah. I'd rather be an idiot. At least you're really  _living_  then, experiencing life and all the loveliness and lovely bullshit it has to offer."

"I'm very much alive, Naruto," Sasuke replied, his words almost seductive. Though Sasuke hadn't meant to sound this way, Naruto had to stifle the slight shiver that came over his body. He had a weakness for Sasuke's voice, especially speaking words such as those with a timbre so unintentionally deep and full.

However, Sasuke interpreted Naruto's silence as a victory, taking another bite of cereal with a cocky smirk. This wouldn't last, as they soon fell into banter once again. Kabuto's words were becoming more distant in Sasuke's memory, and yet again, Naruto had soothed his psyche without even attempting to. It was nice to have a friend who wasn't involved in all of this bullshit. He felt like a much better person when Naruto was around.

Sasuke’s ringing cell phone interrupted them. He glanced down quickly, noticing that it was Kabuto's number. He'd ignore it. But Kabuto called again. Sasuke turned the ringer off, but Naruto noticed this.

"Who's that?" he asked.

"No one important."

Naruto poked his head around Sasuke's shoulder curiously, attempting to catch a glimpse of the call ID but failing. It was out of concern, and if not out of concern, it was out of jealousy. Could it be that the man Sasuke had just confronted today was trying to reach him so urgently? Or was it simply another one of Sasuke's admirers?

He hated how removed he was from Sasuke's social life. He had to admit that he was almost as jealous of Sasuke as he was of his admirers. He'd never been anywhere near as popular, even when he'd attended school. Sasuke shrugged people off every day, when Naruto would be overjoyed just to have someone to talk to.

Now, however, the landline was ringing. The phone was old, and its ring was loud. Kabuto must've known that this was a good way to get Sasuke to pick up. The voicemail started, Kabuto’s voice filling the kitchen.

"Hello, Sasuke. I need to talk to you about something. I was having a problem with…"

Naruto looked over at Sasuke in confusion. He was now forced to grab the phone, lest Naruto overhear more. Was Kabuto trying to force Sasuke to answer the phone by leaving a message on the landline? Sasuke wasn't sure where Kabuto was going with this.

"What?"

Sasuke hated talking on this phone. It was a corded phone that had been donated to them after the fire. It must've been at least a decade old, and the voice quality was shit. Sasuke and Itachi both used their cell phones though, so something nicer was an unnecessary luxury.

"Sasuke, so glad you picked up. I was wondering if you didn't enjoy talking to me anymore," Kabuto said, his voice slightly patronizing.

"What do you want?"

Naruto puckered his lips to the side slightly and raised his brow, his expression almost comical. The curiosity was killing him, but he for now would focus on his cereal, which was unfortunately becoming soggy. He forced himself to take a bite and tried not to focus on the conversation.

"Maybe I gave you the wrong impression, with my invitation. Because it's not really an invitation. More of a demand."

Naruto could not hear Kabuto's words, but he at least picked up the tone and pitch of the man's voice. If he had to guess, this person was not their age. And he did not sound happy.

"You think you're in the position to make demands?" Sasuke asked incredulously.

Naruto stopped chewing abruptly, forgotten and half-chewed food remaining in his mouth for a few seconds before he remembered to swallow. He was, however, out of Sasuke's field of vision. Was Sasuke talking to Kabuto? He resisted the temptation to literally shove his ear against the receiver.

Lately, he’d been trying to give Sasuke his space. But there was being nosey, and then there was wanting to keep Sasuke out of serious danger. However, Naruto still had a hard time trusting Sasuke to tell him relevant information after all the danger he’d put himself through so recently. Sure, Sasuke was maturing. But Naruto recognized that this wouldn't be a quick process for either of them.

"Oh, of course I am. I have plenty of dirt on you, Sasuke. I could send you away for a long time. I could get you taken away from your so-called family."

Sasuke merely rolled his eyes, refusing to take the bait.

"You're threatening to involve the law? You're twenty-one, and I'm fifteen. I can prove that you're working with one of the biggest meth and cocaine dealers in town, and that you've  _been_  working with him for years. Your record's already black. And what do you think would happen to your working relationship with Orochimaru if he found out you were a rat? If both of us were to be discovered, you would do much worse. If you try to take me down… I will destroy you," Sasuke stated, his voice stoic and unrattled.

That was all Naruto needed to hear. Naruto leaned towards Sasuke, trying to get his ear close enough to the receiver to overhear Kabuto. Sasuke shot him a nasty look and turned away from him. Naruto pursued him, and Sasuke continued to twist, the cord wrapping around him.

Sasuke pushed Naruto away, taking care not to let Kabuto hear any disturbances. Naruto stumbled backwards, almost stumbling over the cord but minding his step. He returned to persistently leech himself on to Sasuke. Naruto began to grunt as Sasuke pushed him away from the phone. Out of frustration, Sasuke crammed his palm into Naruto's face vindictively. After a bit more scrambling, Sasuke very reluctantly tolerated the intrusion. This wasn't exactly the time to spar with his boyfriend.

And as much as it annoyed him, he couldn’t say he blamed Naruto entirely. Naruto had good cause to worry, and he was a stubborn person… He interfered because he was frightened.

"I have other methods, Sasuke. I could report you to the law, or… The opportunity is open for you, Sasuke."

Why had he ever allowed himself to associate with this person? He supposed it was best to find out Kabuto's true nature this way, when he had a least some protection from it.

Kabuto's threat held relatively little credibility. Why would he get himself into that much trouble just to control Sasuke? Kabuto had basically admitted that his first threat had been a bluff. He'd aborted the approach, because Sasuke had seen through him.

"You can either join in, or…"

Sasuke untangled himself from the cord, and Naruto actually helped him…of course still with his face within breathing distance of Sasuke's.

"You can say goodbye to that pretty little face of yours."

Sasuke stopped, his bravado failing him. Just months ago, Sasuke had believed Kabuto generally just shoplifted and sold gateway drugs around school. Only recently did he discover that he was a part of large scale hard drug transactions and owned several guns. Kabuto was planning on breaking into someone’s house. How could he assume that Kabuto wasn’t capable of a truly violent crime?

"What are you getting at?"

Kabuto snickered, "Do you really want to find out?"

Sasuke was silent, though he forced himself to speak again. The longer the silence, the more confident Kabuto would be that he had gotten under Sasuke's skin.

"Why do you care so much if we’re there? If it’s really just a bunch of lightweight valuables like you say, and no one’s home, why wouldn’t you just take everything for yourself?"

Now there was a silence on Kabuto's end.

"Once I let people into my circle of trust, I don't like to let them out."

Sasuke believed he knew what Kabuto was attempting to do: He wanted to get Sasuke in so deep that he couldn't leave. He wanted to get more dirt on Sasuke, and he wanted more control. That's how Kabuto worked, after all. He tried to control everyone, and if he'd done his job right, they'd never even suspect it.

"Well, I _am_ leaving. Give up. This is pointless."

A few peaceful seconds. And then there was a snide chuckling, low and rolling. It morphed into laughter but died completely before Kabuto next spoke.

"You just made the dumbest decision of your goddamned life, Uchiha."

_Click._

Dial tone.

Sasuke hung up the phone, placing it in his lap as Naruto separated himself from it. He stared back in Sasuke in dumb shock. Why did Naruto have to overhear  _everything_?

"What is he talking about?" Naruto asked nervously.

"It's fine, Naruto."

"No, Sasuke. Tell me. What's the 'opportunity' he was talking about?"

"It's none of your business."

"Goddammit, Sasuke!" Naruto shouted, his face contorted into rage. His hands made desperate and angry motions, his body still standing. "I try to respect your boundaries and privacy. I know I do a shit job sometimes, and I apologize for that. But this is something I'm not going to let you hide! I won't let you push me away this time; the stakes are too high. So yeah, this time, it  _is_  my fucking business! Tell me what the hell he was talking about  _right now_."

Sasuke inhaled deeply, then stared at Naruto's forgotten cereal bowl as he focused himself. He chose his next words carefully.

"Kabuto sought me out today and told me that he was going to rob someone. He wanted me to join in, but I refused and also told him I wasn't selling drugs for him anymore. As you can imagine, he wasn't too fond of that."

"Rob someone? How… You mean like pickpocketing or something?"

"No, not pickpocketing. He wanted us to break into someone's house."

"Shit…" Naruto's voice answered after he descended into several seconds of shocked silence. "Us?"

"Yeah… My friends are joining in. They're…not ordinarily like this. It seems like after I started with all this bullshit, they started declining."

"That isn't your fault. You know that, right?"

"I know."

Sasuke didn't blame himself. His friends could think for themselves. They were even older than him. They should have enough maturity to make their own decisions. Yet Sasuke also knew that he was considered the de facto group leader. When he made decisions or went down a given path, his friends would often follow, and sometimes to greater extremes.

"Regardless, I plan to talk them out of it," Sasuke added.

"I'm sure you can. People are crazy about you. They'll listen."

"I really hope so."

Naruto sat down again, reaching his hand across the table and grasping Sasuke's forearm. He frowned, noticing the whiteness of one of Sasuke’s scars, and began to rub the flesh with his thumb slowly, as if afraid he might lose Sasuke altogether.

"You're a good person, Sasuke."

Sasuke glanced back at Naruto, his eyes for once conveying uncertainty. His lips pursed. Naruto liked to claim that a lot. Was he right? His intentions were good now, but it was still difficult to see himself as a good person considering his past and some of the urges he still had.

"But what about you? You're not safe anymore," Naruto inserted quietly.

"He's bluffing."

The older boy shook his head fervently.

"No, Sasuke. This is bad," Naruto insisted, his anxiety building.

"I can read him."

Sasuke tried to act a great deal more certain of his fact than he really was. At this point, he was only seeking to reassure Naruto, even if he didn't fully believe what he'd said.

"Can you? Because he's definitely pulled one over on you before!" Naruto shouted, a mild panic worming its way into his voice.

"Calm down," Sasuke hissed, though he had to admit that Naruto had a point. Kabuto had drugged him, talked him into selling drugs… He'd even got him to supervise a deal involving all sorts of hard drugs with a loaded weapon, a potentially deadly situation.

"Okay… Okay. I'm sorry," Naruto sighed, taking visible effort to calm himself.

Naruto knew he wasn't a coward. He was entirely used to having his own life in danger. The scars on his face were a testament to that much. Hell, he'd even been assaulted and molested at knifepoint just a few months ago. It wasn't like him to lose his head. However, when it was Sasuke, it hit him much, much differently.

He now could say he understood the way Sasuke felt when Naruto had refused to go to the homeless shelters, when he had found Naruto black and blue on the street. He understood, if only a little bit, the way Sasuke felt the night Itachi had nearly died. It was a different breed of fear altogether. No wonder Sasuke had caved. Naruto marveled at how much stronger emotions could become when they were experienced for someone else.

"But this guy… Can you honestly say you know what he's capable of? He seems like a wild card."

"I just caught him in a bluff when he said he'd report me. It was a totally unrealistic threat, and when I called him on it, he changed the subject and threatened me with something else."

Sasuke was only stating a fact.

"I know…" Naruto answered hesitantly. "But still, just because he can bluff doesn't mean he can't be serious."

"Even if that's the case, what am I supposed to do about it now? I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place."

Naruto stopped to consider, biting his lip nervously.

"I think you should tell someone."

Sasuke's lips parted as he regarded Naruto cautiously.

"Naruto, do you realize what could happen if I did that?"

He would probably end up in juvie, given how narrowly he'd avoided it just months ago. He'd be implicated in selling drugs, and maybe even shoplifting. He didn’t even know if he could get into a decent college after that. He might even be removed from Itachi's custody, and who knew what would happen to Naruto? He would not leave their sides.

"Yes, but…" Naruto frowned. "I'd rather see you in juvie than dead."

"I'm not going to die. You're being overdramatic."

Though Sasuke couldn't necessarily blame him. Nothing Naruto knew about Kabuto was very reassuring.

"You're in too deep," Naruto said gravely. "You're fifteen. You're a kid. You don't know what you're doing with these people, or what they're capable of."

"Naruto, it will be fine. We have to keep our heads if I'm gonna get through this. This is no time to panic."

"Dammit, Sasuke!" Naruto shouted, his eyes starting to tear. "You're overconfident. That's always been your downfall! Just  _admit_  that you're completely out of your element here!"

"So what if I am!" Sasuke answered, his voice assuming Naruto's volume as he lashed back. Yes, he was out of his element, but that was unavoidable at this point. He'd taken on more than he could really handle, and now he was facing the consequences. Sasuke's voice quickly returned its prior composed tone.

"That's the situation I'm in now, and there's no way around it. Still, I doubt that Kabuto would hurt me too badly. The consequences are too heavy on his end. He's trying to convince me that he would, however, because now that he knows I want out, he wants me to get so involved that I can never run ship again. He knows that I'd never go to the law, so he's trying to make my only other option in avoiding him look as ugly as possible. He loses nothing in trying, because the worst he can do by threatening me is to alienate me, which he's already done well enough."

Naruto stopped to consider Sasuke's explanation. It made sense, though there was obviously no guarantee on any of it. Just one miscalculation could be catastrophic.

"I hope you're right," Naruto frowned.

"Objectively, I believe it to be the likeliest explanation."

He didn't have the luxury to heed all of the "what if"s in this situation. Naruto, however, wished that they had a lot more assurance than betting everything on "the likeliest explanation."

"So…" Naruto spoke slowly. "You're going to call his bluff and go for all or nothing?"

Naruto had called it well enough. If Sasuke told an authority figure, he was bound to get in deep and perhaps irreparable trouble. He might have to leave Itachi’s side as his world crashed down around him. But if Sasuke ignored Kabuto's threats, he'd either be fine or… Well, Kabuto hadn't exactly been clear.

"Yes."

Naruto paused, staring at Sasuke and slowly shaking his head. His explanation had made sense. Though he would have preferred Sasuke to handle the situation differently, he didn't believe he was being foolish. He actually couldn't help but admire Sasuke's bravery, wordlessly of course.

"I won't try to boss you around, Sasuke. No one has to face these consequences like you do. No matter what you choose… I'll respect it."

 _But it seriously scares the piss out of me_ , he'd wanted to say. He didn't. If Sasuke could be brave, so could he.

"Thanks, Naruto," Sasuke responded with a delicate smile.

"God…" Naruto sighed, leaning over the table to kiss Sasuke. He gripped Sasuke's hand tightly, and Naruto's hand felt both sweaty and cold to the touch. If Sasuke hadn't realized it before, this was enough to convince him that Naruto really had been frightened. The two kissed slowly and lazily, Naruto stretching the moment out as if their time together were precious and meager.

And perhaps it was. Even if Sasuke was unharmed, what would happen when Itachi inevitably discovered the truth? One way or another, things were bound to change.

"Whatever happened to Saved by the Bell adolescence?" Naruto asked with a chuckle."Ya know, proms, finals, blowouts with parents…"

"Apparently our lives could never be so standard."

"Yeah, apparently not," Naruto answered with a smile two parts glad and one part somber.

"Maybe one day our lives will be simple, just after they've made us way too complicated," Sasuke proposed with a hint of dry jest.

"Well… Maybe that's not completely a bad thing. There are few fates worse than being standard."

Sasuke stared at Naruto coolly.

"You couldn't do standard if you tried. You're much too weird."

"I take that as a compliment, bastard."

Sasuke snickered, standing up and disregarding the cereal bowls. He'd clean them up later.

"Fuck this bullshit, I'm going to bed."

"At this time of day?"

It was still light out, and Sasuke hadn't even cleaned up their food as he generally insisted on doing. Naruto pieced together, a little too late, that perhaps Sasuke was more overwhelmed by the situation than he'd let on.

"Yeah. I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Neither did I."

It didn't help that Naruto had woken up at four in the morning for work. He hadn't thought about it, but sleep seemed so appealing when Sasuke mentioned it.

"Let's take a nap together," Naruto added, smiling. "I'll clean up the cereal."

"Thanks."

Naruto hated to throw food away. After begging for it on the streets, it halfway killed him. But they clearly weren't going to eat this any time soon, and there was hardly any left. Even though he'd been off the streets for months, in some ways, he hadn't completely adapted. Still, before grabbing his bowl and taking it towards the sink, he cast Sasuke a hesitant glance.

"Go ahead. It'll just go bad."

Naruto inwardly cringed as he poured the last soggy bits of cereal down the disposal, repeating the action with Sasuke's bowl. He motioned for Sasuke, clearly very tired, to go upstairs. Once he got into his room, he slipped off his shoes and socks, changing into a pair of dark grey sweatpants and a maroon T-shirt. He didn't fold his clothing up; he swore he'd do it after he'd gotten some rest.

For now, he'd finish some anatomy homework. It'd be a great way to get his mind off of this business, and it needed done anyway. He was able to concentrate well, as he usually was able to under pressure. That ability had been his GPA's saving grace this past year. He was fairly engrossed once Naruto reached the bedroom. Naruto noted that Sasuke had taken his clothes off and actually  _left_  them on the ground, crumpled and askew. From his uptight lover, it seemed almost unreal. Naruto smiled slightly, loving the indirect ways in which he was finally learning to read Sasuke.

As stressed as Naruto was, he knew that Sasuke was suffering as well. Quietly, of course. He hated that Sasuke was enduring so many responsibilities; it didn't seem right for someone their age. Sasuke wordlessly admired Itachi for maturing so quickly under fire and shouldering more than anyone his age should ever have to. Naruto wondered if Sasuke realized how similar he was becoming to his brother.

Naruto folded the clothes inconspicuously. Sasuke heard Naruto doing this, and he had no doubts as to why Naruto was being so kind. Naruto wouldn't have done this under most normal circumstances. Was he letting on? They understood each other now, and Sasuke was secretly pleased when Naruto got into bed with him, wrapping his arms around Sasuke's waist. Sasuke didn't put the book down, and Naruto closed his eyes as he nuzzled his nose into Sasuke's neck.

Sasuke now felt content as he read. Naruto glanced up at the text for a few seconds out of mild curiosity, reading a few sentences about the pulmonary system and quickly having his fill. He allowed his eyes to drift down towards Sasuke's shirt and his arms, watching the small and natural shifts of muscle tissue and skin as Sasuke breathed.

"I know we're both really young, but…" Naruto stared at Sasuke's shirt, his tongue feeling clumsy in his mouth. "I think I'm really in love with you."

Sasuke stopped breathing for a moment, and Naruto felt Sasuke’s chest hitch. Sasuke reminded himself to breathe normally, aware that Naruto could hear any disturbance, his ear against him. Sasuke cast his eyes away from his book but didn't put it down quite yet.

"What's got you so sentimental?" Sasuke asked in one of his calmest voices.

"You know what."

"Mn."

"I mean it, yanno."

"Yeah, I know."

Sasuke was pretending to read his book again, but he'd stopped paying attention to it after Naruto had stopped talking. The words played over in his head, though even Naruto couldn't read that much from him.

"No, I really,  _really_  mean it."

Naruto took Sasuke's face in both of his hands and forced Sasuke to look at him. He was hiding behind that book, which was blatantly obvious to Naruto.

"Sasuke, you're…really important to me. I don't want to lose you."

Sasuke rested his book down by his side, keeping it open to the proper page and taking a deep breath.

"Naruto…"

"Please, just be safe," Naruto said softly, brushing his lips against Sasuke's cheek.

Sasuke glanced down at Naruto's face, which was now hidden amongst the covers and Sasuke's clothing.

"Okay."

Giving into the older boy's kind touches and words, Sasuke allowed himself to relax, one arm draped around Naruto, the other resting across his mid-section to gently intertwine his fingers with Naruto’s. He focused on the calloused feel of his boyfriend's hand to steady his thoughts. His hands always seemed to be like that, whether from vagrancy or from the odd and often rigorous jobs he'd been doing as of late. Sasuke usually liked people with calloused hands. And Sasuke, perhaps, _loved_  Naruto.

Where would life take him? How long could this last? He allowed his stressful thoughts - of Kabuto, of his friends, of Itachi, and of what would become of him and Naruto - to rest. As he closed his eyes, his grip on the other tightened just slightly. He could hear his lover’s gentle breathing and feel the warmth of his body, and he savored the moment. His last thoughts before sleep took him were hoping that his stressed, sleep-deprived mind would remember this moment forever.


	40. Chapter 40

Sasuke straightened his snug T-shirt as he drank cold water from a long glass. He was sitting at his kitchen table with his cell phone. Naruto was very quietly doing the dishes in his (or technically Sasuke's) pajamas, politely abiding Sasuke's privacy. Sasuke had quite the task in front of him.

He had three minds to change. He decided to aim for the low hanging fruit first: Karin. As much as she idolized Sasuke, she would probably be the first to listen to him. After getting her on board, he’d have some momentum. If this went well, then the two of them could try to talk some sense into Suigetsu and Juugo.

In particular, Juugo’s response had surprised Sasuke. This wasn’t like the Juugo he’d known. He would have never been interested in doing something like this, let alone “needing it,” whatever Juugo meant by that.

It had been a long time since they’d been truly close. Sasuke drifted away from him, just like he had from everyone else. It seemed that everyone was changing – his brother, Juugo, Naruto, and even himself. Did he really know Juugo now?

He quickly dialed Karin’s number, forcing himself out of his contemplation and into action. The phone rang once, picked up at the start of the second ring.

"Sasuke?" Karin asked, sounding genuinely surprised.

It was true that Sasuke had never once called her without a specific and practical reason, like arranging transportation.

"Hi, Karin."

"Uh… Is something wrong? I mean it's not like I'd only want you to call if something were wrong. I love it when you call me, or…”

Sasuke waited for her to stop rambling.

“At least I _would_ love it if you were to call me, like you are now. It's just that you don't usually…" Karin stammered, taking a deep breath and composing herself. "So what's up?"

Most others would find the sound of a flustered and awkward Karin abnormal, as she normally exuded more than her fair share of confidence and assertiveness. However, it was relatively routine for Sasuke, who brought this side out of her often.

"I need to talk to you about something," Sasuke interrupted.

"What's that?"

"Your plans with Kabuto."

"Oh… Okay.”

Sasuke gave off an annoyed sigh before continuing, "Karin, what are you thinking?"

"C'mon, Sasuke. It's a simple plan. The house is even unlocked! We're just gonna take out some…"

"And you really think it will be that simple?"

"Well… I know there are some risks, but…"

Sasuke grit his teeth together, starting to wonder why he was even bothering with this. God, how could she be so stupid?

" _Some_  risks? Listen to yourself."

Sasuke cast Naruto a very annoyed expression, needing to vent some steam. Naruto merely chuckled silently, rolling his eyes and whispering "hang in there."

"Well yeah…" Karin conceded. "But do you realize how much money we can get from it? This could be financial security for life."

"The higher the reward, the higher the consequences. They can even try you as a legal adult at your age."

"I… Yeah, I know," Karin sighed. "But…"

"Karin… I don't like hearing myself talk. So after I say my piece, I'm done trying to convince you. If you have any sense whatsoever, you'll leave this bullshit behind."

Naruto inconspicuously listened in. He didn't think Sasuke would mind. Otherwise, he would've made the call elsewhere. It seemed that Sasuke was getting serious. He hoped that whatever Sasuke had to say next would serve its purpose.

"Alright. Let me hear it."

"You’re robbing a house with the same guy that drugged us. You’d bank your future on him?”

“Mn…” Karin murmured uncertainly.

“I know more about him than you do, and I'm not going to risk my own skin telling you, but trust me when I say there's more to him than you realize."

"To be honest, Sasuke…" Karin paused, sighing. "I  _do_  have my reservations about the whole thing. I guess I just didn't want to admit it. Suigetsu’s already so excited about it. You know, his mom and him…”

Sasuke said nothing.

“They can hardly even pay off their utilities,” Karin added quietly. “He’d kill me if he knew I told you that.”

Suigetsu had never mentioned this to him, but at least that came as no surprise. They were almost never together alone, so there really hadn't been much time for them to know each other on a more private level.

“You're right though, about Kabuto… I mean I like him alright, but I get the feeling that I don't  _really_  know him."

Sasuke paused, at least glad he was getting somewhere. It seemed to him that she had shouldered some doubt from the start. Maybe she just didn't want to get cold feet.

"So why are you doing this then?"

"It's just hard to say no when the payoff is so high. Suigetsu has been poor his whole life, and I wasn’t exactly rich either. You grew up rich. You don’t get what it’s like.”

It frustrated him. He knew what money troubles were like, but in fairness, this was a short-term financial predicament. He didn’t know what it was like to grow up in poverty.

“True. But I do know what it’s like to need to get money…and fast. I did things to get it that I regret.”

“But you got the money, and you’re fine.”

“It was a closer call than you realize.”

Karin paused, then sighed.

“We’re just not like you. We’re not exactly acing through high school. We’ll graduate, and we will work our asses off to pay the bills. I’m sick of that life. This is more money than we could probably make until our thirties. Well… At least all of us minus you."

Sasuke frowned before Karin continued.

"I can get why you're not into this. You have way more to lose than the rest of us. In fact… Don't tell anyone else, but I'm kinda glad you're not coming. I like you as you are."

"You feel it would change me?"

"Yeah. I guess."

"Like it would change you?"

Karin was silent.

"I don't know. Maybe."

"And you're okay with that?"

Karin again was quiet. Perhaps she was thinking.

"I…can't just let Suigetsu do this alone. You know him. He's an idiot. I have to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."

Sasuke took another swallow of water. He realized how Karin regarded Suigetsu. As much as they put each other through, and as often as they disrespected each other, he knew that they cared for each other. Naturally, Karin would be very slow to admit this.

"Then we'll talk him out of it too," Sasuke stated authoritatively. He wouldn’t let her make excuses.

"Sasuke…" Karin responded through nervous laughter. "I mean it's all he's been talking to me about lately. He…"

"If you really admire me half as much as you always claim to, then you'll trust me."

Karin sighed. Sasuke had never asked anything of her before. Did she trust him?

"Okay, Sasuke. I trust you."

"Thank you."

Naruto glanced at Sasuke expectantly. He was trying not to be too invasive, but… Did that mean what he thought it did? Sasuke cast him a nod, and Naruto made about as much of a spectacle of himself in his celebration as he possibly could have without generating any sound.

"So, what about the other two?"

"You talk to Suigetsu. I'll talk to Juugo. If either of us get stuck, we'll regroup."

"Hey, hey…" Karin paused. "If I can do it, can we have a movie night?"

Sasuke paused, arching his brow. A movie night? Seriously?

"If all four of us veto this stupid thing, then yeah…" Sasuke sighed. Was this bribery? "We can have a movie night. I'll even bring Orville Redenbacher. None of that generic bullshit."

"Orville Redenbacher? You really are serious about this," Karin giggled.

"Dead."

"Good luck, Sasuke."

"Yeah… You too."

Sasuke hung up, and it took all of Naruto’s self-control to refrain from immediately asking what happened.

"It worked."

"Sweet," Naruto grinned.

"Next up's Juugo."

Naruto nodded. He knew that of all of Sasuke's friends, Sasuke was the closest to Juugo. The conversation that came next would probably be the most important to him.

"You got this, bastard."

Sasuke merely grunted. He needed a moment to sit. A few months ago, this wasn’t anything he would have ever imagined himself doing. Why would he care what his classmates chose to do with their lives? It wasn’t as though they’d talk after high school anyway. It was more than enough to look out for himself and Itachi.

He couldn’t pinpoint when it happened, but he’d stopped thinking this way. His friends frustrated him, but he didn’t want to see them ruin their lives. And there was no way for them to know how dangerous Kabuto could be. Sasuke had a thin line to walk. Sharing details about Kabuto could put himself at risk.

“Alright,” Sasuke said, more to himself than to Naruto.

He dialed Juugo's number now, his fingers hitting the numbers by memory. Before the fire, they used to call each other several times a week over his parents' landline. Sasuke calling Juugo then would have been completely ordinary. But who  _did_  Sasuke call these days?

"Hey, Sasuke."

Juugo didn’t seem surprised.

"Juugo… Let's meet up."

Juugo sighed.

"Okay, but if this is about…"

"Just once. I'm not asking much."

One of the things that Sasuke appreciated about Juugo was that he could be blunt with him. He didn't have to tip toe around the subject. But he suspected that tonight, he might need to do a little more finessing.

"Alright… Where?"

"Anywhere convenient."

"Sure. How about the Hillcrest playground?"

It was a comfortable enough walk from his house, though it was getting awfully cold. It was beginning to get dark, and it was windy out. On the bright side, any kids would have already gone home.

"Okay, I'll meet you."

"Nah, I'll pick you up. It's no trouble."

He wished he had his own car. He felt childish, needing to be picked up by his friends. Then again, it wasn't as though it was his fault.

"I'm good. I could use the walk."

The refusal was solely out of pride. Juugo seemed to realize this, chuckling quietly before answering, "We'll meet at the park in twenty?"

"Perfect."

Sasuke reached into his closet and pulled out his brother's coat. They were fortunately about the same size top, though Itachi's legs were longer than Sasuke's. This made winter weather and limited space less burdensome to both of them.

"I'm going to meet Juugo."

"Okay…" Naruto nodded. "Should I wait up for you, or should I make myself something to eat?"

"If you're hungry, eat now. There's no telling how long this will take."

Naruto smiled, but it looked strained. Was he concerned?

"Chill, it'll be fine."

"Hey! Who says I was worried?"

The sophomore rolled his eyes, grabbing his wallet, phone, and keys before walking towards the door.

"Your fly’s down."

Naruto looked down, his eyes widening as he realized that he'd forgotten to button his pants after attending to some…pressing business in the restroom earlier that day. Not that it mattered, he told himself. It was nothing Sasuke hadn't seen before anyway.

"You neglect to mention this until now because you  _like_  it!"

"Yeah, well keep your snake in its cage until I get home."

"Hey, next time…" Naruto turned, grinning at Sasuke triumphantly and pressing his thumb into his chest.  
" _I'm_  on top."

Sasuke opened the door, stepping out into the cold with a half grin on his face. Cute.

"Keep thinking that, dumbass."

"You ass! I-"

Naruto was yelling something when Sasuke shut the door. He imagined he'd get the heat from that one upon coming home, but he didn't really mind that. He kept a smug smile on his face for a few seconds, and it faded as he walked away.

Itachi's coat was warm. It protected him well against the elements. He'd thought up a few points he was going to make, but he knew that these sorts of things were difficult to plan. He didn't believe in cleaning up after people. This was Juugo's decision. The best he could do was try to push him in the right direction.

He was a little cold by the time he arrived. Sasuke was reminded of how short the days had become, as the sky was quickly turning dark. As predicted, the playground was isolated, other than the bulky build of a young man swaying slightly on the swings.

Approaching, he could see the orange glow of Juugo's cigarette and streams of smoke and warm breath moving upwards in the night air. As Sasuke walked onto the woodchips, he heard the painful creaking of the swing set as it shouldered Juugo's weight. Juugo wasn't fat by a longshot. He was tall, muscular, and bulky. It made him a great candidate for football, but a very poor one for riding said swing set.

"Christ, Juugo, you're going to break that thing."

"Nah, it can hold me," Juugo answered with a smile. "If it could handle my aunt and uncle when they took my cousins here last year, it can handle  _anything_."

"If this contraption falls on me, I'm blaming you."

Sasuke took a seat next to Juugo, the swing pressing his thighs together. It was comfortable enough for him, but he wondered how Juugo could stand it, as large as his frame was. Yet Juugo seemed to be relaxed enough. He offered Sasuke a cigarette, which Sasuke gladly accepted. It's not like it would do much to warm his body realistically, but the psychological effect of the burning tobacco was better than nothing. Sasuke lent Juugo's lighter for a few seconds, adeptly shielding it against the meddlesome wind as he lit his cigarette.

Sasuke pushed the tip of his Converse into the ground, gently swinging himself back and swinging forward. It had been a long time since he'd been in one of these things. It took him back to simpler times, which was odd considering the things he'd come here to discuss. Juugo swung forward several feet, while Sasuke's movements remained minute.

"Am I here for the reason I think I'm here?" Juugo asked patiently.

"I assume so."

"So… You're sitting this out? One hundred percent sure?"

"One hundred ten percent."

Juugo shook his head, exhaling in relief.

"Thank God."

He was relieved? This was essentially the same thing Karin had said.

"I don't get that response. It's inconsistent."

"How so?"

"Why don't you want me to come?"

"You know that as well as I do. Otherwise you'd come."

Sasuke's movements stilled, and he glanced over at Juugo.

"I want to hear it from  _your_  mouth."

"Sasuke…" Juugo said nervously, taking a deep hit off of his cigarette. "It's different with you. You're a kid."

"Is this a coming of age rite or something? Turn eighteen and rob a house?" Sasuke asked sarcastically.

He was trying to keep the anger out of his voice. “It’s different with you.” They both had said it. Excuses. What did that have to do with burglary, anyhow?

"It's not just that…"

Juugo frowned, holding smoke in his lungs before letting it quickly exit upwards.

"I'm not you. You have such a bright future ahead of you. You're a genius, literally. You'd be crazy to risk that! But me… I'd be lucky to see that much money in my whole life."

"You really have  _that_  little faith in your future, that you think shit like this is your best option?"

"Sasuke…"

Juugo stopped moving as well, staring off at the road in the distance, occasional cars passing by.

He leaned towards Sasuke, speaking quietly, "In case you haven't noticed, I'm dumb as a brick."

Sasuke let his cigarette dangle from his lips temporarily, thinking over his next words. He'd never heard Juugo talk about himself like that. And since when did Juugo care about grades? Did he even try? Sasuke thought his next words over. He'd never been skilled at reassuring people, however.

"Do you study?"

Juugo's eyes trailed off. He mumbled, "You practically never study, and somehow you get a 4.8 GPA."

"Mn…" Sasuke answered, taking a deep hit off of his cigarette. He liked to pretend he didn't care. Of course, he did. "I study a lot more than I let on."

Juugo smiled, slightly encouraged by the admission.

"You're a trip to watch, Sasuke. It's like no matter what shit happens to you, it doesn't slow you down. You just keep moving. You're always accomplishing something or another. It's really admirable."

Sasuke had always known that Juugo cared about him. He often felt the other watching over him, protecting him. He never had any definite proof. He just noticed Juugo's eyes flash over to him whenever he was in a questionable situation. When they were closer, before Sasuke lost his parents, Juugo felt like an older brother to him. He drove him around, let him bum his cigarettes, and listened to Sasuke's problems.

He wondered what Juugo's motivation had been. Maybe he saw someone physically weaker, smaller, and much younger in need of protection. Maybe he just always wanted a little brother or something. Maybe because he had been there with Sasuke the day his house burned down, he felt even more emotionally attached to him now. Sasuke didn't realize that admiration worked into this, or at least not to this extent.

"And then…" Juugo smirked. "Then there's me. Someone who's never had real hardships and never amounted to anything special."

Sasuke smoked his cigarette wordlessly. He felt awkward hearing Juugo beat himself up like this, and he didn't know how to respond.

"Is that why you're doing this? You feel like it's the only way you'll ever achieve something out of the ordinary?"

Juugo shook his head, flicking his ashes into the woodchips.

"No, I'm not  _that_  hungry for glory. It's just… You know, my parents need taken care of, and I want to be able to support myself."

Juugo was an only child, and his parents had been in their forties when Juugo had been born. This did, however, leave some strain on Juugo.

"They're okay, right?"

"Yeah, they're fine. It's just… You know, my mom's past sixty, and my dad's nearly seventy. They're going to have to retire, and yeah… I don't think I could flip burgers fast enough," Juugo told Sasuke with a quiet and awkward laugh at the end.

"If this ever gets back to your parents, you do realize it will devastate them, right?"

"Don't say things like that…" Juugo answered, cringing.

"What makes you so convinced that menial labor is the only option for you, anyway? You're not a stupid person."

"You think that because I keep my mouth shut."

Sasuke frowned. Was Juugo really just doing all of this because he was discouraged?

"You say it's your intelligence, but have you even tried in school?  _Really_  tried?"

Juugo stared at Sasuke, taking a deep breath. It looked to Sasuke like he was holding his tongue. Juugo looked frustrated with Sasuke for the first time that night.

"Sasuke, the principal took me back into his office a few weeks ago. The only reason I've been passing my classes anyway is because I get the school's football team in the paper, and they don't want to drop me from the team."

Sasuke nodded, noting some stars announcing themselves in the sky. It was tough to decipher the constellations without his glasses, however.

Juugo added, "He told me I'm not going to graduate in June with my class. They're dropping me from the team too. They were almost just  _giving_  passing grades to me, but even then I can't get it. And the most pathetic part of it all? I  _am_  trying. I study for hours a day, and that's just to barely slip by with a D in the easiest English class I can take. The information just doesn't process."

The ashes from Sasuke's cigarette fell onto the ground; Sasuke was too distracted to mind them. He didn't know that Juugo had gotten held back. And furthermore, Juugo actually  _cared_  about school? That was new information to him. He must have gone to lengths to hide his study habits, though Sasuke sometimes did the same with his own schoolwork. Sasuke knew that Juugo wasn't stupid, and he believed Juugo when he said he studied. He seemed almost ashamed of it. There had to be something wrong.

"Have they ever taken you in anywhere about it? It sounds like it might be a learning disability or something."

Juugo nodded, taking another inhale.

"When I was a kid, they said I was dyslexic. Then something called…dyscalculus or something like that? There was something else, but I honestly forget all they said. And my IQ really is lower. My mom had a really tough time conceiving. They thought she was infertile, and then me. But whatever caused her to have such a hard time, plus her age when she got pregnant… It probably messed me up or something."

"Ah..." Sasuke answered, now remembering that he had a cigarette as well. He wondered how accurate an IQ test could really be when the taker was dyslexic, but maybe they'd accounted for that. Sasuke didn't know much about learning disorders. And dyscalculus? What the hell was that? He took a deep hit, giving himself time to think. "Have you ever been treated for it?"

"They put me on some medication when I was younger, but I had a bad reaction, and it spooked my mom. So she pulled me out of treatment altogether and told me, 'We'll love you no matter what kind of grades you get.'"

Sasuke nodded slowly. All the times he'd complained about his parents pushing him too hard, Juugo had listened sympathetically. He'd told him to be grateful that they cared enough about his performance to nag in the first place, however. Sasuke had always been skeptical.

"I just wish she'd realized that even if she's satisfied with a kid who takes twenty minutes to read a page of Charlotte's Web, the world won't be. So I have to be creative if I want to come out ahead."

There was a sad smile on Juugo’s face. He hadn't seen his conversation with Juugo going like this. He knew that there had to be something he didn't realize. Still, for as long as he'd known Juugo, he was surprised he hadn't figured this out earlier. Now that he thought of it, he'd only seen Juugo read text messages, nothing else. Even those seemed difficult for him. And reading didn't seem to be his only issue in learning either.

"I shouldn't be complaining about my life, especially not to you. I'm not looking for pity. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"I just want you to understand why I'm doing this. I… I really do care about what you think…" Juugo admitted quietly, glancing away from the boy and slightly swaying to his side.

Their bodies had naturally angled towards each other over the course of the conversation, speaking quietly as if someone could overhear. It seemed that they were keeping secrets even from the crickets.

"You have another option then. Go back in treatment, when you have the resources. Your parents might help if you take initiative."

"I'm not sure about that."

"Your parents are always fussing about 'follow your heart', right?" Juugo had confided this in Sasuke, and how much the clichéd phrase would oftentimes annoy him, when they were closer. Sasuke still remembered. "If they realize that this is important to you, maybe they'll support it."

"Would it even work? I've been like this for so long. I'm probably too old to fix."

"It's worth a try. And you can't tell me all dyslexics and people with learning disorders have to become criminals to get by."

"It's not just  _that_  anyway…" Juugo trailed. "It's just… Hard to explain, it's like something I don't get is building up. I just feel like I need…to do something like this, something out there. I don't know why."

Sasuke nodded. He didn't know what most people would think upon hearing that, but watching Juugo, seeing the way his ordinarily calm hands fidgeted as he said this, he felt that he understood. It was that very same electric chaos that he had experienced over the past year, he believed. It was the need to rebel, to submit to your impulse, to do anything to make you feel alive and get rid of whatever uncomfortable angers and frustrations brewed inside of you. Sasuke wondered, momentarily, if some extent of this urge was a typical hallmark of adolescence. Of course, Sasuke's issues were in a class of their own, considering what had happened.

"I know what you mean."

"I thought you'd understand, if anyone."

"Yeah, I do."

Sasuke wouldn't expect Juugo to experience this sort of thing to the extent that it would incline him to do something so drastic. Then again, what about Juugo did he really know, when it came down to it? He'd assumed that he'd been the only one in their little group keeping secrets, other than for Kabuto. Perhaps this had been egocentric of him. He took another deep inhale off of his cigarette, buying time.

"When you get that urge, and something pops into your head… It's a pretty good gauge of what  _not_  to do," Sasuke told him.

"It won't go away."

Sasuke cast Juugo a curious look. Should he be recommending counseling or something? He hated counseling. It had never helped him, but then again, Sasuke had been so close-lipped that it came as no surprise.

"Ignore it."

What else was there for him to say? He heard about people their age feeling this way all the time. They had to handle it  _somehow_. It seemed pretty standard. With Sasuke, it had been different. But Juugo wasn't like him. He was just a normal high school senior.

"But…"

Juugo's brows were knit, and Sasuke glanced back at him inquisitively and a little flatly.

"Nothing…" Juugo finished, shaking his head.

"If you were someone else, what would you tell yourself to do?"

The redhead frowned, grabbing the chain opposite from Sasuke with his hand.

"I don't know. It's just that… I'm going to be graduating from high school when I'm almost twenty now… If I even graduate at  _all_ , that is."

Juugo rested his head in his hand, groaning.

"At this rate, I'm going to end up like Kabuto."

Sasuke stilled his movements, staring at Juugo for a moment. Juugo's eyes returned to Sasuke's, the young boy completely serious.

"If you end up like him, it won't be because of your grades. It will be because of shit like this."

They were both silent, the atmosphere becoming heavy between them. The swing set whined, and it reminded Sasuke of the times he'd spent here as a child. They had both likely played on this swing set as children, as both of them were locally raised. They had been innocent, on these same swings years ago without a thought of these darker realities of life. Everything had been different. Sasuke remembered Itachi pushing him down the slide and his dad talking to business partners over his Bluetooth.

The memories stood in stark contrast to the current conversation matter. Drugs, thievery, a life of crime… Juugo likely had similar memories. He wondered if he also mused at how strange it was to contemplate such things in a place where they used to play as carefree children. They looked each other in the eyes, Sasuke's gaze strong and confident. Sasuke could see it in Juugo's face. He was reconsidering.

"This isn't what you think it is. Kabuto… What's your understanding of how he makes his money?"

"He sells weed and pills around school, right? Shoplifts occasionally."

"It goes deeper than that."

"Ah…" Juugo answered knowingly, nodding. "That's what I've been suspecting."

"A  _lot_  deeper."

Juugo froze, turning over at Sasuke questioningly. He looked like he was about to ask Sasuke what he knew before the smaller male interrupted him.

"When I dropped out of selling, Kabuto threatened me. This is the same guy that drugged us with some shit we couldn't even come by if we tried. I know things you don't, Juugo. Something's very wrong here."

They heard laughter, from far away. A group of teens were approaching quickly, evidently unaware of their presence. The two students' silhouettes alone showed from the swingset, bodies inclined towards each other. The only illumination was offered by street lights and cigarettes. A young girl stumbled far too close.

"Oh, sorry guys. Didn't you know you were having a  _moment_ …"

Juugo quickly straightened his shirt, the two leaning away from each other instinctively.

"What do you mean by  _moment_?" Juugo asked suspiciously.

" _Oh_ …"

Finally, they were close enough to get a decent view of the two. Another boy stumbled up behind her.

"Holy shit, that's a guy?" He pointed to Sasuke. "We thought you guys were like…mackin' on each other or something!"

Even though they could only see his outline, how the hell could they have mistaken him for a female? He was tall, dammit! Though perhaps Sasuke was nothing compared to Juugo, both due to age and due to the fact that Juugo was just a hulk. The way they were leaned so close to each other, sharing two solitary swings… The group had been far away as well. He guessed it wasn't implausible. But  _still_ …

Juugo emitted a low chuckle, Sasuke glaring at the group with a scowl on his face.

"You kids are charming," Sasuke answered dryly, exhaling a cloud of smoke.

He just had to slip the word "kids" in there. They had to be about twelve or thirteen. And he was  _taller_  than them, dammit, and a hell of a lot stronger and better built. He would draw attention to this fact.

Regardless, the group of four occupied the remaining swings. Sasuke looked at Juugo with annoyance, their privacy now blown.

"The set's all yours," Juugo told them, getting up and walking towards his car. Sasuke joined him. The parking lot was a good distance, and it was also in the direction of Sasuke's house.

"I need some time to think, Sasuke," Juugo said in a hushed voice.

Sasuke hesitated. He was afraid that letting Juugo walk could amount to giving up on Juugo. However, he'd said his piece. This was Juugo's decision. He'd done all he could.

"Just be smart."

Juugo nodded as they neared his car. They both knew it was time to split up.

"Another cigarette for the road?" Juugo asked.

"No, I'm good."

Sasuke turned to walk off.

"Hey…" Juugo said, loudly enough to get Sasuke to turn around.

"Mn?"

Sasuke hoped, for a second, that this was Juugo's moment of realization.

"Don't tell anyone that I study, okay? It's embarrassing enough to fail when people think you're not even trying."

"Do you even have to ask?"

"No…" Juugo smiled. "I guess I don't."

There was never any need for formal goodbyes with them. They would just split up and be on their way, and both of them appreciated that. Sasuke replayed the conversation as he walked. Was there anything he should have said? They were cut short. It wasn't in his hands anymore.

However, he'd been walking only ten minutes when his cell phone rang. It was Juugo. Had he just gotten home?

"Juugo."

"It's bullshit."

"Hm?" Sasuke prompted. Was he getting his hopes up?

"You're right. It's all bullshit. Fuck it. I'm out."

Sasuke smirked, smiling lightly.

"Am I ever wrong?"

Juugo laughed for a moment.

"Well… You've always been the brains of the operation, Sasuke. I'm just the brawn."

Sasuke smiled, but he made no comment.

He'd convinced two out of his three friends to sit this crazy plan out. He was almost done now. He just hoped they'd be strong in their resolves. Kabuto had a way of reeling people back in.

"A fair word of warning: Kabuto's not going to like this. Stand your ground."

"I'll be ready for him," Juugo answered, sounding not the slightest bit frazzled.

With Juugo and Karin on his side now, and perhaps even Suigetsu, Sasuke knew he'd be ready too. They all would.


	41. Chapter 41

A sweet, warm aroma roused Sasuke from his slumber. It reminded him of how he would awaken when he was still in grade school, his mother hard at work in the kitchen before another school day began. It was still dark out. He glanced over at his alarm clock. 4:30 am. Lovely.

Sasuke tried to piece together his memory of the previous night. He had been reading his Algebra II book in bed for several hours. It had gotten cold, and his fingers and toes felt like ice. Naruto hadn’t gotten home yet from the labor center, and Sasuke clung to his thick blankets. He hadn't run the heat all winter to save what little money they had, and he intended to keep it that way.

Naruto didn't announce himself as he quietly entered the bedroom, back from a long day at the labor center and just having showered. He brought the warmest comforter they had and assertively nuzzled himself in next to Sasuke. This was a team effort, between Naruto and Sasuke – their ambition not to run the heat for the winter. They'd keep each other warm.

Naruto had his head rested on his shoulder, and Sasuke could feel the warm mist of Naruto's breath on his collarbone, the disturbances to the mattress as Naruto wriggled his toes. They didn't speak a word to each other all night, nor did they feel any need to. Naruto fell asleep around the time Sasuke finished chapter eight. Naruto usually had to wake up just past four to get a full day's work out of the center, so his body tired considerably earlier. The sky had just begun to darken, though the natural light wafting in through Sasuke's windows was more than enough to for reading.

He’d awoken with no memory of falling asleep. He was alone now, but based on the scent, he assumed that Naruto had found his way to the kitchen despite the early hour. They'd shut the center down today, so it looked like Naruto was playing the housewife for the day, as Sasuke liked to tease him on those days Naruto was off.

Sasuke glanced off the side of the bed, making out the image of his book at an awkward angle through the poor lighting, several pages crinkled. Had he studied himself to sleep? He couldn't remember nightfall. He must've drifted off exceptionally early. "You're pushing yourself too hard, bastard," Naruto would insist, as if he were one to talk…

Despite the godawful hour, Sasuke figured that he'd at least gotten nine hours of sleep. He adjusted his black Red Hot Chili Peppers T-shirt, a hand-me-down that just happened to fit, and his sweatpants, scratching at the goosebumps on his left forearm until he found a black sweater lined with faux fur.

The house was  _especially_  cold during the earliest hours of the morning. At night, it at least retained some of the heat of the day. He stretched his neck from one side to the next, not bothering to turn on the light in the bedroom before he groomed himself quickly in the bathroom.

He returned back to the bedroom and turned on the lights, finding an outfit folded up for him on the bedside table. Sasuke crinkled his nose, as if to tell anyone present who just might suspect that he'd actually  _appreciated_  the gesture that they were sorely mistaken. He wasn't a child; he could dress himself.

Today  _was_  a big day, to be fair. Sasuke, Karin, Juugo, and perhaps Suigetsu were confronting Kabuto at school and telling him, as a group, of their decision. School seemed like the safest place to break the news, as no one was really sure what Kabuto's reaction would be.

Such profuse courtesy wasn't common behavior for Naruto, but ever since he'd overheard that conversation with Kabuto… He'd been treating him differently, but thankfully only in very small and quiet ways. Naruto was being nice, but he was being sneaky about it. Whether this kindness was because he wanted to make things easier on Sasuke, because of what today was, or because he wanted to appreciate Sasuke while he was still around, Sasuke had no clue.

Whatever he'd convinced the imaginary spectator of, Sasuke felt his mood lift a little. He unfolded the shirt to reveal a polo with wide, bright orange stripes, rarely interrupted by thin stripes of neon green. The shorts were plaid, a nice grey and maroon. Sasuke would have considered the shorts. Yeah, it was cold out, but it would warm up come late morning. It was a considerate gesture on Naruto's part.

But that shirt…Suigetsu left it at Sasuke's house months ago and never asked for it back. Sasuke had considered using it as a rag. He would have never been caught  _dead_  sporting that color scheme. And if that weren't bad enough…Bright orange and green stripes with dull color plaid shorts in the  _winter_? Mismatching colors, stripes on plaid,  _and_  out of season? No. Frankenoutfit, as Sasuke quietly deemed it, would not see the light of day.

Sasuke hung the clothing back up and stuffed the shirt in a bag, dressing himself in a pair of dark grey and brown camouflage pants and a long-sleeved V neck with the same sweater he'd been scuttling around with this morning. He'd have to leave for school in another couple hours anyway, so he figured he might as well get dressed while he was still up there.

Upon descending the stairs, he heard clamoring of metals and a low quality speaker playing a tune almost imperceptible above a familiar and off-tune voice. As he approached the kitchen, he could only now make out the words, which were as loud as they could have possibly been without the possibility of waking Sasuke up. There was flour everywhere, eggs in a bowl, batter on the sink… It was obvious that Naruto was bridling his enthusiasm, working over a bowl of thick batter with an electric mixer.

_"…got what you need. Like you say… Oh my, feels just like I don't try. Look so good I might die. All I know is everybody loves me! Get down. Swaying to my own…"_

"Not to dash your hopes and dreams, but if you were planning on becoming the next American Idol, you might want to rethink your life direction."

Naruto turned quickly to Sasuke in shock, the sounds of his approaching lover droned over by both his singing and the loud whir of the mixer. Naruto flailed his hands around, almost dropping the bowl in his flustered haste and emitting what he would  _insist_  was a shout.

"What the hell?! It's five in the morning! You're not supposed to be up yet!"

"Yet here I am."

"Don't look! I haven't cleaned up yet! I know it kinda looks like a disaster now but…"

Sasuke walked up to him, kissing him slowly before he'd have the chance to stammer out any more nonsense.

"Yeah, you'd better clean it up, dumbass."

Coupled with the kiss Sasuke had just given him, Naruto didn't feel much bite from those words. He smirked back at him.

"I'll clean it, even up to  _your_  anal standards. The queen of England could eat her breakfast off this floor, I swear to god."

"Is there some trend of English royalties eating from floors that I'm unaware of?"

"There…"

Naruto stopped abruptly, pointing at Sasuke accusatorily.

"You!"

Sasuke tilted his head at Naruto questioningly, silently and impatiently inquiring as to what exactly his problem was.

"You didn't wear the outfit I picked out for you!"

"Naruto, I could have picked out a better outfit when I was five."

Naruto grumbled, crossing his arms.

"I wanted to see you in something vibrant for once! Instead of all of those depressing colors you like to wear… I mean Jesus Christ, Sasuke, half of your wardrobe is either black or dark blue."

"They're not depressing colors," Sasuke corrected. "They're dark tones."

"They're fuckin' depressing."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, leaning against the dishwasher as Naruto began to beat the batter again.

"Our “colors” are just different light wavelengths being reflected off of an object and into the eye. What's depressing about a different photon wave frequency?"

Naruto glazed over for several seconds before adding, "Yeah, whatever ya nerd. Just wear some color for once, okay?"

Sasuke sighed, stretching out his neck.

"What are you making, anyway?"

"None of your business," Naruto answered. "Entertain yourself somewhere until I set this right."

"Just don't burn the house down. I've had enough of that."

Naruto snickered at the quip, turning on the skillet.

"You would be  _surprised_  at these ninja skills. Your house is safe with me, dickhole."

Sasuke tried to catch up on the algebra he'd missed by falling asleep so early. He stayed in Itachi's office on the bottom floor, behind a closed door. His stomach kept grumbling. He'd forgotten dinner yesterday, and that aroma from the kitchen certainly didn't help matters. To Sasuke's surprise, it actually smelled  _good_. As in he stood a good chance of eating a breakfast that did not have black char marks over half of it. In about twenty minutes, Naruto announced himself.

"Soup's on!"

Sasuke smiled. It seemed like forever since he'd last heard Naruto shout those words, and the tone still hadn't changed. God, it took him back. Sasuke had always been the one to feed Naruto. Now, Naruto was feeding him. They'd gone from a forced volunteer and a vagrant in a soup kitchen, to…

Well, what were they now, anyway? It almost felt like they were playing house, as if they were married. At their age, especially considering the relatively short duration of their relationship, this was crazy. But whatever it was, Sasuke would revel in it for now.

Sasuke walked out to find the kitchen immaculate, the table set, syrup out, orange juice poured, and a pile of thick and fluffy pancakes on the center of the table. He'd even put the syrup in an elegant pitcher he'd found who knows where and put a nice flower wreath in the middle of the table for a centerpiece. Sasuke couldn't help but stop for just a moment for his brain to take it all in.

The kitchen had been a  _monstrosity_. And Naruto of all people… As clumsy as he was, as  _horrid_  as his cooking skills were, he managed to pull this off? And almost as alarming was the fact that would care so much as to pull it off to begin with. Naruto was standing there, beaming at Sasuke like an idiot with his arms crossed triumphantly.

"Didn't know even someone as inept as you could manage something so nice," Sasuke said, taking a seat. "Learn something new every day."

Nice? He'd called it nice? A compliment from Sasuke… That was something.

"Inept my magnificent ass!" Naruto chuckled.

"I can't say anything bad about your ass," Sasuke conceded, with a tilt of his head.

Naruto watched Sasuke expectantly, standing back with his hands locked.

"Aren't ya gonna eat?"

Well, that certainly wasn't creepy.

"Did you poison this or something?"

"No!" Naruto shouted, with all sorts of hand gestures involved. "I just…wondered how they turned out. But you're just sitting there."

"It's impolite to start eating before everyone is seated," Sasuke stated matter-of-factly. His parents had taught him manners, after all.

"Feh. Since when has being rude ever stopped you before?"

"Just sit the fuck down and eat these pancakes with me, dumbass."

" _Fine_ ," Naruto snipped, sitting down next to his boyfriend.

The boys each took a pancake on their plate. Sasuke covered his with a thin coat of butter, whereas Naruto more seemed to lather it. Sasuke placed the slightest drizzle of syrup on his pancake. Naruto's was swimming. Sasuke gave Naruto a look, the trite question, "Want any pancake with that syrup?" on the tip of his tongue.

"What?" Naruto demanded.

"It's no wonder you taste so sweet."

"Huh?"

"Your diet affects the taste of your bodily fluids."

Sasuke had timed this revelation just as Naruto was taking a swallow of orange juice. The blond coughed over it, and Sasuke smirked. Too predictable. Naruto’s cheeks were flushed lightly, brows inclined indignantly.

"Are you… You're not sayin' that my jizz tastes sweet because I eat so much sweet stuff, are you?"

"Well, it  _is_  very sweet."

The pink on Naruto's cheeks began to darken.

"Like you have anything to compare it to!" Naruto rebuffed. He wouldn't let Sasuke fluster him. "You've never done it with a guy before me."

"I can taste myself in your mouth," Sasuke said in a low and full tone.

Naruto cleared his throat. Had some apparition miraculously turned the heat on or something? It was getting  _hot_  in here! He crossed his legs awkwardly.

"Uh… The pancakes!" Naruto interrupted nervously. "They're getting cold!"

Sasuke cast a knowing gaze at Naruto and smirked. He loved riling him up; it was too priceless. He used a knife and fork and cut a piece of pancake aside, as Naruto wedged several pieces aside with the side of his fork. Naruto stopped all movements as Sasuke ate his first bite. Sasuke didn't know Naruto had that type of cooking ability in him.

"It's good. I like them a little thinner though."

Naruto looked notably deflated. It wasn't a total retreat, but he looked as if his bubble had at least been partially burst. He didn't want these pancakes to be "good." He wanted them to be  _perfect_.

"What? I said they were good."

Those had been the first two words out of his mouth: "it's good." So why was Naruto getting all gloomy?

"Pancakes are supposed to be thick and fluffy! That's how you make them!"

"There's no rule. I just like thinner pancakes than most."

Naruto frowned, taking a bite of the pancake.

"It's how my mom used to make them, and everyone  _loved_  her pancakes. You just have weird tastes."

"Your mom?"

"Well…" Naruto shrugged. "At least one of my moms."

Sasuke frowned. He'd insulted Naruto for the outfit he'd picked out for him, and even after all the work he'd put into breakfast, he still had something at least slightly negative to say. And it was a family recipe to boot.

Insulting Naruto was second nature to him. This was ordinarily fine, as Naruto would come right back at him as if on reflex. But what was he supposed to say now? That they were the best pancakes of his life? He wasn't going to  _lie_. They were just pancakes, after all. Still… He felt a little guilty.

"I’m enjoying them,” Sasuke mumbled, taking another bite. He finished chewing before adding, “Naruto. I…really do appreciate what you’ve been doing lately.”

Naruto's posture relaxed as he continued to eat. The sun was rising now, the electric lighting becoming less and less necessary.

"Yeah, well… Someone has to be there for you. I'm just glad it got to be me."

"Me too," Sasuke said simply, his eyes now averted to his plate. That grin was back on Naruto's face once again, full force.

"Next time, I'll make them thinner. I'll make you the best pancakes you've ever had in your life."

"I'll look forward to that."

As happens with most good food, the meal was consumed in silence. Sasuke went back for second and even third helpings, which did not go unnoticed by Naruto. Naruto, however… They both lost count of however many pancakes Naruto had eaten. Everything was going well, until Naruto reached out for the butter and overturned the pitcher of syrup.

The syrup fell over next to Sasuke, splattering upwards and getting on the table, Sasuke's face, his jacket, even the damned floor.

"Jackass…"

"Shit!" Naruto swore, immediately getting up to clean everything off. Sasuke walked over to get some damp rags.

"Sasuke, you getting on your knees and cleaning up after me kinda defeats the purpose here. Just relax. I got it covered."

Sasuke frowned, sitting as Naruto quickly cleaned the floor and table, though he wasn't quite done yet. Of course, Naruto had had to transfer whole container of syrup into a pitcher for breakfast. Just to look fancy. And there was still the issue of Sasuke's jacket. Fortunately, it had kept the rest of Sasuke's outfit clean.

Naruto was on his knees beneath Sasuke as he sat in his chair. Blue eyes peered up at Sasuke from below, and Sasuke looked downwards. Naruto chuckled. He couldn't believe Sasuke hadn’t noticed the large splatter of maple syrup across his cheek. Naruto quickly got up, too lazy to stand up fully. He used Sasuke's chair to pivot and lift himself onto Sasuke's lap.

"You still got something on your face."

Naruto wiped away the syrup with his index finger, and both of their stares connected for just an instant. They were close. Naruto's placement on Sasuke's lap caused his head to reach just several inches higher than Sasuke's, and Naruto secretly enjoyed being taller for once. Sasuke gently grasped Naruto's hand, holding it in place as he licked the syrup off of Naruto's finger slowly, twisting his tongue around the digit. Naruto's mouth hung open uselessly to speak, but all he could do was watch.

His bangs, still clean, tilted forward slightly as he licked, and Sasuke's shirt hung over just enough so that Naruto could see a portion of his chest through the sweater and V-neck. Sasuke placed the finger in his mouth and sucked, gently moving it in and out for a quick moment.

Naruto felt the walls of Sasuke’s mouth and tongue against the digit so clearly. It reminded Naruto so well of the times it had been his cock in Sasuke's mouth, and he had sucked it just this same way. Goosebumps covered Naruto's arms and legs, and to his humiliation, he felt his manhood begin to stiffen. Over just  _this_? This was ridiculous.

And then, perhaps worst of all, Sasuke looked up at him, with large, near black eyes that seemed both sinful and innocent with Naruto's finger still in his mouth. He stared straight into Naruto's eyes, and Naruto's blush was only worsening. Dammit, it really wasn't as if he were  _like_  that, so easily frazzled

It was just that once he'd already started blushing, it was very difficult for him to stop. If he hadn't blushed earlier, he would've been much more cool and composed. But these thoughts were sidetracked as Sasuke pulled Naruto down by his T-shirt collar and kissed him, his tongue confidently requesting entrance.

Naruto kissed him back, softly at first but the heat quickly intensified. Naruto had no idea what would happen today. He hoped that Sasuke would be coming home again, whether the cause of his absence be injury, incarceration, death, whatever.

But even still, he knew that the two would have to be separated inevitably, if only in their living situation. So he twisted over so that he was facing Sasuke, one leg going over each side of his lap. The sweet taste of maple between them, he kissed Sasuke hungrily, moaning into the kiss.

Sasuke's arms scaled underneath Naruto's shirt, Naruto flinching a little as Sasuke's cold hands adjusted to Naruto's heat. A frigid thumb brushed over Naruto's nipple, causing it to rise quickly as Naruto's arousal was channeled into their kiss, his tongue vying against Sasuke's as if struggling for dominance.

Naruto licked some syrup off of Sasuke's neck, his tongue slowly rolling. He sucked at the thin trail of his saliva harshly and left a dark mark behind in plain view. Sasuke smacked Naruto's skull, causing his teeth to clack. A hickey there would definitely raise some questions and percolate its fair share of gossip. Maybe Itachi had some concealer somewhere…

"What's your problem?"

"Don't mark me in such an obvious place, moron."

"Fine. Then for every mark I miss there, I give you two where no one can see. Even if they don't know you're mine,  _you_  can't forget it."

"If I'm yours, you're mine."

"Yeah…" Naruto said, lowly and with a slight husk to his voice. "I'm yours."

Naruto unzipped Sasuke's jacket, the rest of his outfit now clean. Sasuke tugged Naruto's shirt off, Naruto's goosebumps intensifying as they met the cold. Naruto returned the favor, removing Sasuke's jacket and shirt as well. They pressed their chests together, both to bear the cold and because both of them loved the feel of skin on skin.

Sasuke licked and kissed down Naruto's jawline. He latched onto skin right underneath it and sucked, leaving a dark purple bruise behind.

"What the hell? You just said I couldn't mark you in an obvious place!"

"It's different for you," Sasuke justified. "You can tell can them you have a girlfriend without having to explain so much."

And then they'd know. They'd know Naruto belonged to someone else. Sasuke knew nothing about the people Naruto worked with, but he wanted to make that much very clear to them.

Naruto grunted, pushing them off the chair and onto the ground. They struggled, and Sasuke ultimately flipped Naruto on his back, incidentally right into a puddle of maple that had yet to be cleaned. Sasuke pinned Naruto on the floor, the slightest stickiness between them. Naruto couldn't resist Sasuke's kisses, his head pressed against the floor.

Sasuke left marks on his neck, on his chest, on his shoulders… Naruto lay there, grasping Sasuke's hair almost painfully and moaning. But he was determined to pay Sasuke back, leaving a dark mark on his shoulder. Then his collarbone. The pain only fueled their angry, frenzied competition more.

Sasuke felt Naruto's erection grow beneath him, and he knew his own was forming as well, the area quickly becoming warm. It was getting lighter out. He glanced over at the kitchen clock, barely discernible from this distance without his glasses. He easily flipped Naruto's cock out of his drawstring pants, spitting on his hand before he slicked it over Naruto's manhood.

"We don't have much time," Sasuke whispered. "But I need this."

There were angry hickeys on Naruto’s neck, his shoulders, his chest… There had to be at least seven. While Sasuke had fewer marks, they showed more clearly against his porcelain skin. As they spared but seconds to look at each other, the sight only aroused both further. Each had given himself to the other.

Sasuke pumped Naruto until he was almost completely erect, ignoring his own need which uncomfortably crammed against the stiff fabric of his camo pants. Almost as if he'd read Sasuke, Naruto followed Sasuke's actions, unzipping his pants and pumping at the same pace, hardening Sasuke. The two huffed as they grew harder, their forgotten breakfast unknowingly overlooking from the table.

Sasuke released Naruto's member, turning around so that his mouth was flush against Naruto's cock, his body facing in the opposite direction. Sasuke's cock, in turn, dangled just above Naruto's mouth. Sasuke lowered his mouth, his breath hitting against the swollen, yearning head of Naruto's dick. His mouth was so close that as he spoke, his lips brushed the sensitive tip.

"Suck me, Naruto," he ordered, leaving no room for questioning.

Obediently, Naruto took Sasuke in as deeply as he could. Sasuke was taken aback, his back, chest, and arms breaking out in a sweat that was quickly cooled by the house around him. Yet he was warming up quite nicely. As Naruto moved into things so quickly, it was becoming difficult for Sasuke to concentrate.

Yet if Sasuke could do anything, he could keep his cool. He could keep up with Naruto; he would not allow him to sweep him up. Sasuke responded with like passion, taking Naruto all the way back to his throat from the start.

It didn't take long for both of them to sustain full erections. And they knew they were on limited time. They knew Sasuke would soon have to catch that familiar, banal yellow school bus in a matter of minutes and have a very pivotal and potentially dangerous conversation, the results of which could be either trivial or profound.

So both of them moaned, and they sucked, and they licked at each other's tips frenetically, Naruto sometimes poking the tip of his tongue into Sasuke's slit just as he liked it. The syrup smeared on Naruto's back from the tile floor, and he ignored it as it stuck to his hair. A chair screeched as Sasuke impatiently shoved it to the side. Sasuke seemed so dominant throughout this, on top, in charge, and perhaps most importantly, relatively clean.

It was Naruto who first felt a buildup of sweat at the crease of his knees and his lower back. He could feel his stomach clenching and flushing, his balls hardening and screaming for release. It was becoming so hard for him to concentrate on satisfying Sasuke when the other was making him feel so damned amazing.

"Sasuke…" he spoke, temporarily ceasing his motions. "I can't last much longer."

Sasuke sucked, just at Naruto's tip, hard. He then started from the base, gently rubbing Naruto's hard balls as he sucked down Naruto's shaft. Naruto's brows creased together. His fingers balled into white-knuckled fists. Sasuke could feel Naruto's entire body stiffen beneath him as every muscle seemed to clench.

"Aaah!" he shouted loudly.

He unleashed into Sasuke's mouth, and Sasuke swallowed every spurt, now rather skilled at taking it all back. Naruto was tempted just to lie down and bask in the afterglow, but Sasuke had yet to be fulfilled. And he was exceptionally hard. It wouldn't take much longer.

Naruto used every bit of his now waned energy to quicken his pace, sucking Sasuke off with long bobs of his head and pinching his nipple roughly.

"Nn."

Sweat was building up at Sasuke's temple, and he felt so hot now. Naruto's pinch had shocked him, catalyzing his pleasure even as he felt himself holding back.

"Fuck… Gonna cum…"

Sasuke's body wracked with the precursor of orgasm. The strong bracing of his arms holding him up over Naruto's lower half was now beginning to tremble. His eyes clenched shut as he bit his lip hard, the pink on his face so obvious against his pale complexion. These details were cruelly deprived from Naruto, feeling only the blissed panting of Sasuke's chest pressed against his stomach and observing the flush to Sasuke's thighs and abs.

Sasuke tried to grab at the floor in, his back arching as Naruto grabbed one of Sasuke’s asscheeks, clawing it so that his hole gaped open for a moment. He moaned as he unleashed into Naruto’s mouth, his frustration and uneasiness leaving his body and replaced with peaceful pleasure.

Sasuke gave the ground but a moment's consideration until his plopped onto a clean space to enjoy the after buzz of his orgasm. His cock, still moist, hung out of his pants to the side, and Naruto slid over to Sasuke, petting his bangs and pinning one side behind his ear.

"You look so much different without your hair in your face," Naruto murmured.

"Mhm," Sasuke responded, his mind too blissed to offer backtalk.

He loved the gentle sensation of Naruto's fingers against his forehead and cheeks. He reached up with a slight smile, cupping Naruto's face in the palm of his hand. Naruto burrowed his cheek into Sasuke's hand, his deep scars offering a marked indent against Sasuke's sensitive fingertips. Whenever he felt those scars, he fought back thoughts of, "If only I had known him back then… I could have protected him."

He ignored that. He was too content in this moment to let these dark thoughts mar it. And Naruto seemed happy as well. In fact, despite being sullied by maple syrup, he appeared to be in ecstasy. The last thing Sasuke wanted to do right now was leave. Sasuke kissed him one last time, their tongues barely brushing against each other before they parted. They lay together silently, entwined with each other as that fuzz faded and they returned to their normal states of mind.

"I have to leave soon."

"School can kiss my ass," Naruto pouted.

Sasuke snickered as he stood, helping Naruto up and grabbing his coat. Naruto would definitely be needing a shower once Sasuke left.

"Likewise."

He rearranged himself, put his shirt on, and walked over to the kitchen sink, removing the syrup from his jacket. Naruto would have a task ahead of him once he left, but there was no way around that. Sasuke should be leaving for the bus stop at any minute.

He walked towards the door, placing his hand on the knob. Naruto scampered up behind him, placing his hand on his shoulder before he walked out.

"I have to kiss you before you leave."

The air was even colder outside, hitting the one side of Sasuke's body facing the elements. It was a quick kiss, but it was sweet. Naruto held Sasuke’s hand firmly.

"See you tonight, dumbass."

As Sasuke walked off, Naruto held Sasuke’s hand for a beat too long before reluctantly letting it go.

The ride on the bus was dull, and it smelled like Axe body spray. Some jackass was running up and down the aisle, cavorting with a friend until the driver kindly told him to cram it. His mind wandered, from the trivial to the portentous. Karin had told him over the phone last night that she was having trouble with Suigetsu.

"That idiot is so fucking stubborn, Sasuke. I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do with a boyfriend who doesn't even…" Karin had vented.

"We'll talk to him."

Karin begrudgingly let the matter rest. They'd arrive at school about a half hour early. They'd sit out on a bench by the school patio and talk things out. No one was ever out there that early in the morning. The other three were already sitting there by the time Sasuke arrived.

They all were wearing thick coats. Karin and Suigetsu took one side, and Sasuke and Juugo took the other.

"Alright, so Suigetsu, can you  _please_  explain to Sasuke and Juugo why you're still doing this in your own stupid as shit words?"

"Allll in the money, guys. Imma make it rain," Sasuke told them with an insouciant grin.

Sasuke's and Juugo's expressions were prefect mirrors of each other, staring back at Suigetsu flatly.

"It's a lot of money, yeah. But you're almost eighteen, Suigetsu," Juugo said. "They can try you as an adult."

"If I get caught."

"Suigetsu… When Sasuke dropped out of this…" Juugo cast a hesitant glance at Sasuke, not wanting to divulge too much information. Sasuke nodded. "Kabuto threatened him."

"Wuh?" Suigetsu twisted his face in exaggerated confusion. "How did he threaten you, exactly?"

"First, he threatened to tell the cops about what I've been doing. Then he threatened to injure me in some way. It was unclear."

"Doesn't that strike you as suspicious?" Karin interjected.

"Well, maybe he just really wanted your help. He's probably blowing around hot air."

"Remember when Kabuto drugged us?" Sasuke asked.

Suigetsu laughed.

“Yup. That was fun.”

"Right…" Sasuke answered dryly. "He used GHB. This is not an easy drug to come by."

"Your point?"

"First of all, this was dishonest, irresponsible, and untrustworthy behavior. Secondly, it shows that Kabuto isn't just about gateway drugs. He's not even just about drugs. You don't know who you're dealing with here."

Suigetsu flipped his hand at Sasuke dismissively, shaking his head.

"Look, I get what you guys are doing here. I appreciate the concern and all, but really, I got this."

Sasuke knit his brows between his fingers in frustration. How would he get through to this guy?

"You know, Sasuke promised that he'd even have a movie night and bring  _Orville Redenbacher_  if all of us sit this out. You're ruining our movie night," Karin whined.

Sasuke had actually found said brand at the 99 cent store last week, though he of course neglected to include this fact.

"Baby, with all the money I make, we could buy a  _thousand_  boxes of Orville Redenbachers," Suigetsu told her with a grin.

"What the hell are we gonna do with one thousand Orville Redenbachers?!" Karin shouted, rolling her eyes at Suigetsu.

"I'm not gonna actually buy it, bitch! It's just the fact that I could if I wanted to. Dude, this is a lot of money."

"Suigetsu,  _listen_  for once! Kabuto's acting kinda fishy, and this is a serious criminal offense!"

As always Suigetsu was smiling that cheeky smile, always amused. But it faded now as Suigetsu looked into Karin’s eyes.

“Look… I get it. I know.”

“No you don’t!” Karin shouted, slamming her fist on the table. “If you did, you wouldn’t be doing this.”

Suigetsu was silent for a moment. The expression on his face was something Sasuke had never seen before.

“Aren’t you sick of living like this?” Suigetsu asked Karin with some fire to his tone, ignoring Sasuke and Juugo as if they weren’t even there. “I’m sick of going without power, without food. I’m sick of watching my mom trip over bills. She just suffered my whole life.”

Sasuke had never heard Suigetsu sound so serious before. Suigetsu always had been dense. Sometimes it seemed like there was nothing more to the guy than a mischievous grin, irresponsibility, and a cheeky attitude. But for the first time in a long while, perhaps for the first time ever, Sasuke found himself connecting with him. The feeling of seeing someone who takes care of you hurt and wanting to finally be useful to them… He knew it all to well.

“Hard work gets you nowhere. It didn’t get my mom nowhere her whole life. If it just takes this risk… I want my mom, you, and me to never worry about what we’re going to eat. I don’t want us to have to use the coffee maker to warm the bathwater. I want to have a nice life.”

Suigestu leaned back in his chair, now looking at Sasuke and Juugo.

“Look, people like you, you don’t get what it’s like to go to bed hungry, getting evicted once a year.”

Sasuke had always known that Suigetsu wasn’t exactly wealthy, but his clothes had always been nice. Sasuke knew that Suigetsu had been stealing for a long time now. Given how long Suigetsu had taken to reveal this, it seemed that he wanted to keep it hidden.

“He has a gun," Sasuke interrupted.

"What?" Suigetsu answered incredulously.

Karin and Juugo both turned to Sasuke immediately, shocked. Sasuke regretted these words almost as he'd said them, wondering what sort of trouble they could get him in. But perhaps it was something Suigetsu needed to hear.

"The three of you. Not a single fucking word of any of this, understood?"

They all nodded. Karin, for all of her gossip… Sasuke knew she could keep her mouth shut. Juugo wasn't even an issue. Suigetsu… The only hazard would be if he got too drunk, but that point, people wouldn't be taking him seriously anyway.

"He makes high quantity meth and cocaine deals. I'm talking kilos' worth. He shoved a .45 in my hand in a very questionable situation without even warning me. So if you want to deal with a guy capable of this, the only thing we can do is warn you. Use whatever brain you have and make the right decision."

Suigetsu, the guy who always seemed to have a comment for everything, was silent. What was he thinking?

Suigetsu wasn't the only one in shock. The other two stared at Sasuke wordlessly, now perhaps even gladder for their decisions. Karin especially seemed affected by the new information, her fingers playing with a long strand of red hair nervously.

"I think we should listen to him," Karin said, her voice uncharacteristically hinted with concern.

Suigetsu seemed to snap out of his stupor, shaking his head.

"Yeah, I know, Kabuto's in some pretty heavy shit. But maybe this can be a one time thing."

"It only takes one time," Sasuke said. "He doesn't like to let people out once they're in. Take it from me."

Another pause.

“I get what it’s like to want to support someone.”

Sasuke spoke, and Suigetsu nodded quietly. Even if Sasuke hadn’t admitted it himself, he knew how desperate Sasuke had been to care for his brother.

“But what use could you be to them if you’re in jail? Dead?”

"Sui, stop being such a stubborn little jackass and listen to us," Karin pleaded, her voice vulnerable and now even a little desperate. " _Please…_ "

Suigetsu turned over to Karin and sighed.

"Don't worry about me so much," Suigetsu murmured.

He reached his hand over and held his palm against Karin's cheek, smiling. Karin's eyes had glassed over, the girl nearing tears. Her eyeliner was smudged, just slightly.

"I'll make lots of money, then I can take care of us both. Everything's gonna be fine. No worries, okay?"

Karin placed her hand up against Suigetsu's, holding it against her cheek lightly. Sasuke and Juugo stared at the situation in confusion. Actual signs of affection between Karin and Suigetsu? Neither of them had seen that before. It would have oddly seemed less revealing to walk in on them having rough sex. Quick to perceive their prying eyes, Suigetsu pivoted sharply.

"Hey! What the fuck are you two looking at?!"

"Nothing," Juugo answered with a smile. Sasuke and Juugo pretended to be occupied by the cars pulling off into the distant parking lot for a moment to give the two their space.

"I do appreciate it, guys," Suigetsu stated. Sasuke and Juugo both looked back towards them. Karin looked like she was torn between crying, punching Suigetsu in the face, and holding him. "But this is what I’m gonna do."

Sasuke didn't know what else he could say or do. He tried. They all had.

"We're telling Kabuto we're out during lunch today. It won't be too late to change your mind," Sasuke informed Suigetsu.

"I can tell you right now that I'm not changing my mind. But I'll still back you guys up."

"Thanks."

Two out of three wasn't bad, Sasuke reminded himself as he sat through the classes leading up to lunch. It was a trap; it had to be. And Suigetsu was walking into this blindly. But Sasuke reminded himself that he  _had_  made every effort. In fact, he'd done far more than he ever would have done in the past.

He was ready for the conversation they'd be having at lunch with Kabuto. Only a part of him, a very small part, was scared. But he felt brave. Alone, he was strong. But with Juugo, Karin, and even Suigetsu in a sense standing behind him, he was even stronger. He wasn't looking forward to it, but he sure as hell was looking forward to getting it over with.

So it was with mixed worry, relief, and determination, he joined his typical group at the lunch table. Kabuto, Juugo, Karin, Suigetsu, and Sasuke, all sitting together, enjoying greasy cafeteria food over the din of their classmates. Just like any other day.

Kabuto sat at the head of the table, as he usually did. Perhaps this was because he was the oldest, or perhaps just out of habit; Sasuke was never one to draw much significance out of seating arrangements. Suigetsu sat to Kabuto's left, with Karin on the other side of him. Juugo was at Kabuto's right, with Sasuke next to him. Sasuke had tried to take the seat next to Kabuto. He wasn't intimidated by that asshole. But Juugo insisted on taking that seat. He wanted to be the one sitting between them. Sasuke dismissed the compulsion as paranoia yet still obeyed.

Sasuke ate a small salad and an apple, Juugo had awarded himself four pieces of pizza, and Suigetsu and Karin were munching on bologna sandwiches. Kabuto had come empty-handed that day. They ate quietly, the weight over the conversation nearly palpable to Sasuke. All of them were seated. Sasuke ate his salad in silence. Sasuke was grateful when Karin discussed her biology test with Suigetsu, which made the reaction seem at least somewhat less lull in conversation.

"Kabuto…" Sasuke addressed him, glancing at him calmly. "We wanted to tell you that we're out. Well, all of us but Suigetsu."

Kabuto raised his brows as he stared at the group.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"It's true. I don't want any part of it."

"Neither do I," Karin added.

"We're not going to stand in your way, Kabuto. You can do what you want," Juugo clarified. "We just don't want to do it."

"You all are a bunch of idiots," Kabuto said snidely. "I put this opportunity in front of your face to make thousands of dollars, and you pass it up?"

Kabuto shook his head in disgust, clucking his tongue.

"Evidently this kid is the only one of the lot of you who has a half-functional brain in his head," Kabuto stated, gesturing to Suigetsu lazily.

Suigetsu didn't respond to the mixed compliment, and the rest of the group remained silent.

"What I want to know…" Kabuto began, asperity worming into his tone.

Kabuto stared at every single one of them. First from Karin, then to Juugo, then, lastly, to Sasuke, their eyes locking defiantly.

"Is what the  _fuck_  is with the change of heart?"

Kabuto was questioning all of them, yet his eyes fixated on Sasuke.

"That's none of your concern," Sasuke replied.

"Hah!" Kabuto answered, simpering at the group.

"Juugo, you know this is your only shot. Hell, you can hardly even read a book, and you're passing up your only opportunity to really make a splash?"

"I don't believe that's the sort of splash I want to make," Juugo answered calmly.

"Juugo, I say this as your friend: you're stupid. But brains aren’t everything that make a man. It's just a simple reality you have to work around. You may get far in this world after all, but if you do, it won't be because of your intelligence."

Juugo leaned backwards, blatantly disheartened. Sasuke opened his mouth, wanting to speak up for Juugo, but Karin beat him to it.

"Don't talk shit about Juugo, you little fucking four-eyed bitch. He is  _not_  stupid," Karin sneered. It would seem that Kabuto had triggered her temper. "You're the dumbest motherfucker here. You're twenty-one and still in  _high school_."

Karin finished with a headbob, and had the situation at hand been any less grave, it might have been amusing. They'd all ignore the irony in Karin calling Kabuto a "four-eyed bitch," as she too wore glasses.

" _I'm_  dumb?" Kabuto refuted, a patronizing smirk on his face as if he found the lot of them absolutely  _adorable_. "I'm still here because I  _want_  to be. By law, I could've dropped out at sixteen. You think I give a fuck about grades? And Karin, your game is _clear_  to me."

"Oh? My  _game_?" Karin asked snidely, leaning her weight into the table on one shoulder. "And what exactly is that?"

"Suigetsu puts his ass out on the line and does all the work. You get half the profit. Basically, you sit back on your cowardly ass, use him, and leech off of him. Suigetsu, you are  _whipped_. Are you seriously going to let your girlfriend treat you that way?"

Suigetsu shook his head, waving his hands.

"Nah, man. It's not like that."

"What… I'd  _never_  do that!"

"Don't let him get under your skin," Sasuke interjected above the other four conversational partners. People were getting upset, and that’s what gave Kabuto power. The volume of their voices were rising. Sasuke looked around, not wanting be to noticed by the cafeteria staff. Sasuke kept cool.

Kabuto turned to Sasuke quickly, almost predatorily. How could Kabuto have forgotten about Sasuke?

"And  _you_. Sasuke…"

Sasuke stared back at him expressionlessly.

"It's you, isn't it?  _You're_  the one who talked all of them out of it."

"That's really none of your business, Kabuto," Juugo said firmly yet calmly.

"Shut the fuck up, Juugo. I'm talking to Sasuke."

There was no point in lying. Kabuto already knew the answer.

"Yes," Sasuke answered, never taking his eyes off of Kabuto's. "I did."

This was one of Sasuke's greatest defiances towards Kabuto. He didn't move. Didn't 't avert his unwavering and unapologetic stare.

"You… You son of a _bitch_ ," Kabuto hissed, keeping his voice down. Other people in the cafeteria were beginning to stare, detecting that something was amiss at this table. In particular, Sasuke took a split second to glance over at Sakura's corner of the cafeteria. They caught eyes for only a second until she looked away.

"You are the pussiest one out of the whole bunch. Your brother could fucking  _die_ , and you are too afraid to show some balls and afford for him the care and the life he deserves after taking care of your ass. He had to step to the plate after your parents got charred to bits, and you just leech off of him!"

God, Sasuke hoped no one else in the cafteria heard that. Karin dropped her spoon, appearing nothing short of absolutely  _enraged_. Suigetsu watched indignantly with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. Sasuke felt Juugo move, felt his body tense against him. Juugo was clenching his fists. He was  _trying_  to be still. But he was trembling. Sasuke rested his hand on Juugo's forearm, hoping to calm him.

Juugo, Karin, and Suigetsu were so shocked, so angry that they were rendered speechless for that moment.

"My family's fine," Sasuke spoke, before anyone else had the chance to. "As if that's any business of yours."

Kabuto laughed maliciously.

"That's it, Sasuke. You're a fucking worthless coward, and shit, you better be damned afraid. Because if I find you alone… I swear to god I'm going to fucking k-"

Kick his ass? Kill him? Sasuke would never know what Kabuto had meant to say. Juugo stood immediately, his cheap cafeteria chair flying backwards and clanging into the ground. Juugo had been calm up until now. In fact, when was he  _ever_ anything but calm?  _Never_  had Sasuke seen this sort of explosion from him.

The attention of the entire cafeteria turned to them, all chatter extinguished. The force with which Juugo stood sent the table flying backwards, sending Karin's sandwich and Diet Coke right off the table, the soda spilling on the grey-speckled tile floor. Suigetsu and Karin were forced to stand.

Kabuto, still sitting, didn't look so snide anymore, every bit as shocked as the rest of them. Juugo grabbed him up by his collar, clear out of his seat and up so high that his toes hardly touched the ground. Kabuto's chair gracelessly skidded backwards. As Juugo held him there, Kabuto's feet vainly tried to establish traction as he attempted to free himself from Juugo's grip in the very limited time he had.

And without further ado, the strongest student at Konoha High School channeled every sinew, every tendon, and every muscle of his six foot five, two-hundred forty pound body to slam his fist directly into Kabuto's face.

 


	42. Chapter 42

By the time that Sasuke, Karin, and Suigetsu were able to process this, Kabuto's fully grown body was rammed backwards, a loud crash turning all heads as Kabuto collided with the table behind them. A girl shrieked, jumping to the side to avoid being smashed between her chair and the table edge. With a jarring screech, the girl’s entire table skewed backward, two soda cans falling over and spilling on the floor.

Kabuto righted himself quickly, moving forward just a step. The shock had subsided now, his face reflecting arrogance and anger as blood streamed down from Kabuto’s nostrils.

“You son of a bitch… You want a fight?” he shouted. “You’ve gone one.”

He took several strides to run for Juugo, the starting slow and gaining momentum, his fist already raised.

But Juugo was too fast for him. He tore Kabuto back towards him by the collar, the jolt causing Kabuto's feet to falter. Juugo delivered a brutal uppercut to Kabuto's jaw, the clacking of his teeth loud in the cafeteria.

"Fight! Fight!"

A group started chanting on the opposite side of the cafeteria. Others joined.

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

The entire cafeteria was in an uproar, students hollering and cheering, some towards the back of the room even standing on their chairs to get a better view. Suigetsu, Karin, and Sasuke glanced at each other, none of them appearing overly concerned.

"…Holy shit," Suigetsu said with laughter in his tone, equally surprised and amused.

Sasuke gave a self-satisfied snicker. God, he had waited  _so_  long to see that snake's smug, duplicitous face smashed in. And here he was, in a cafeteria, getting his twenty-one year old ass handed to him in front of their entire school. Sasuke was hard-pressed to think of anything more humiliating. However, Juugo… He hoped that this wouldn't come back to haunt him.

"Hah!" Karin laughed, pointing at Kabuto. She seemed even less caring towards Kabuto than Suigetsu had.

Kabuto stumbled back, his fists up in boxing position to protect his face, panting. He ran forward, sneakers padding against the linoleum floor, shouting, aiming upwards for Juugo's face. Kabuto must have known there was no holding back, not with Juugo.

His fist smashed into Juugo's cheek, but Juugo seemed unfazed, as if he hadn't even noticed the blow. Kabuto had left half of his face unprotected as he risked that punch, hoping to have disturbed Juugo at least enough so that he could recuperate his stance. Tired and distracted, he let his other fist fall just below his jawbone.

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

Their classmates craved for so much more than homework, these dull white walls, and anti-drug posters. This was action. Sasuke's posse wanted this as well, but for different reasons entirely. The room was electric. Kabuto was panting and beaten, but he wasn't running away. At the very least, Sasuke gave him credit for that. It furthermore proved convenient, as Sasuke quite enjoyed observing Kabuto's humiliation and pain.

Juugo seized the opportunity instinctively, pummeling the side of Kabuto's face. Kabuto twisted to the side, his glasses falling flying several feet from his face onto the ground. A gash was now dribbling blood from Kabuto's left cheek. Kabuto didn't have time to right himself.

His unaided eyes were hardly able to decipher Juugo's form. Juugo slammed forward, all of the weight in his body channeled into tackling him just the way he'd tackled so many opponents on the football field. Kabuto fell on the ground and slid out, hitting his head on one of the chair’s poles.

Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Karin all glanced at each other uneasily. Wasn't this going a little far? They'd wanted Kabuto to learn a lesson, but what would be the consequences if Juugo put Kabuto in serious danger? In front of their entire school, no less.

"Fight! Fight…"

The demanding shouts for action were dwindling. Many had stopped shouting and were now quietly speaking among themselves. Some had even fallen silent completely.

"He gets the idea," Sasuke spoke authoritatively, loudly. "That's enough."

It wasn't that Sasuke was worried for Kabuto. It was just that for Juugo to do this, in front of everyone, when Kabuto was  _clearly_  no threat to him… Sasuke had almost gotten sent to juvie for breaking someone's nose in a fair fight. Granted, it was a repeated offense on Sasuke's part, but Juugo could still get himself into one hell of a lot of trouble here. Kabuto was most certainly not worth it.

Unaffected, Juugo slammed his sneaker into Kabuto's side, causing Kabuto to hack out, "What the fuck is  _wrong_  with you?!" Kabuto's voice cracked as he attempted to blindly worm away from Juugo. "Are you fucking  _crazy_?!"

Juugo kicked Kabuto again. Why wasn't he listening to Sasuke? Kabuto couldn't get up. Juugo wouldn't let him. He knocked him down every time.

"That's enough, Juugo!" Sasuke shouted urgently.

No reaction.

"Juugo…" Karin said quietly, stunned. "Juugo!," she added, more loudly, approaching Juugo to hold him back. Suigetsu grabbed Karin and pulled her aside before she’d taken so much as a step. They couldn't explain why, but all three of them realized that Juugo was dangerous now, and not only to Kabuto. What the hell was going on?

Suigetsu wrapped his arms around Juugo's waist, futilely trying to pull Juugo back. Juugo pulled Kabuto up off the floor again just slightly, raising his arm and readying for solid punch to Kabuto’s face, which was now half covered in blood.

"Get the fuck off of me, you lunatic!"

Juugo still hadn’t said a single word.

Sasuke grabbed Juugo's bicep, bracing himself and attempting to stop the punch from behind. But Juugo's arm moved forward with full speed, causing Sasuke to fly with him for several feet. He was forced to let go and spin off to the side to avoid falling on Kabuto. There was no way… Not even Suigetsu  _and_  Sasuke combined… Juugo was just too strong. And where the hell were the teachers?

"Dude! Stop!" Suigetsu yelled desperately from just behind Juugo, to his side. He frantically waved his arms, as if this would garner Juugo's attention.

The cafeteria had gone completely silent, only the sounds of Juugo's grunting as he pummeled Kabuto, Kabuto's panting, and the other three's protestations filling the room. Juugo began to kick at Kabuto's sides again, and the man started hacking raspily.

"I'm sorry, okay!" Kabuto attempted to shout, using all volume at his disposal. "I'm sorry!"

Perhaps Kabuto too had realized that he had misjudged Juugo. No one in that room knew what Juugo's real limits were.

"Juugo!  _Please_!" Karin screamed. "Please just stop! Stop!"

Suigetsu and Sasuke both pulled at Juugo…useless. What was everyone doing? This was happening so quickly.

"Get a teacher, you idiots!" Sasuke commanded the mass of stunned and useless onlookers.

"Stop! You're gonna k-"

"Suigetsu," Sasuke interrupted with an icy glare. If Suigetsu had finished that sentence… If he had said that Juugo might  _kill_  Kabuto in front of all of those people… Juugo had no alibi. There was no telling what they'd do with him. Suigetsu glanced back at Sasuke, nodding.

"Stop! I'm s-sorry!  _I'm sorry_! St-stop," Kabuto implored, his voice wet with blood and somewhat lost to hacking. It was clear that speaking wasn't coming easily now. "Stop…"

Kabuto could hardly be heard anymore over the sound of Juugo's foot impacting his ribcage. And that's when Juugo brought his knee up, stomping on Kabuto's stilling body.

Sasuke's jaw dropped as he realized how serious this was becoming, the voices around him beginning to blur. What was Juugo doing? Sasuke had always pegged him to be the gentle giant sort. He had no idea Juugo was even  _capable_  of doing this, of continuing to destroy someone who was begging for mercy. Kabuto was showing less and less resistance. At this rate… Kabuto would have to go to the hospital, at the very least. But was it possible… Was he going to watch one of his best friends  _kill_  someone?

And  _why_? Why was this happening? Where the  _fuck_  were the teachers? Why was everyone just sitting there  _watching_  all of this?

Sasuke knew what needed to be done. He released Juugo from behind and walked around towards Juugo's front, a position no one else dared hold.

"Sasuke, no!” Karin screamed. “Sasuke!”

In another state of mind, maybe Sasuke would have heeded Karin’s warning. Would he become the next target of Juugo's blind fury? But he knew why Juugo was in this fight. It was to protect him. Juugo’s state of mind was unknown. Whatever the case, Juugo seemed to be out of even his own control now. He'd sat with him on the swings that night hoping to save Juugo from making a grave error, one that could ruin his life. This moment was no different.

So he braced himself in front of Juugo. Juugo didn't notice him, but Sasuke refused to be ignored. Kabuto's quieting body contorted between them, Juugo focusing on it exclusively with a detached and manic grin, eyes lit up with wicked amusement. There was no time now for shouting and persuasions. The situation was escalating too quickly.

"Dude, get back!" Suigetsu warned.

Sasuke channeled all force from his feet, up through his legs, his rotating hips, his trunk, his shoulder, his arm, then finally his fist into one of the most impressive and well-aimed punches he'd thrown in his life. It was a punch Juugo might have blocked, if only he had been aware of Sasuke's presence to begin with. Sasuke's fist drove into Juugo's eye socket, and Sasuke could feel all the weight and strength his friend possessed as their bodies collided.

" _STOP!_ " Sasuke roared, so loudly that his vocal cords threatened to crack.

The sophomore's breath was shaky, but his resolve was redoubtable. He intimidated even the onlookers, despite or maybe even because of Sasuke's small size compared to Juugo. His obsidian eyes stared at Juugo with raw determination and stubbornness. Without exception, every eye in the cafeteria was fastened on the two students. Finally, for the first time since Juugo had attacked Kabuto, his eyes turned away from his victim and met Sasuke's.

The cafeteria had never been so silent before during lunch hours, with only Kabuto's labored, raspy, and depressed breathing interrupting it. They stared at each other, Sasuke's eyes yearning for answers. Why had Juugo done this? What was the matter with him? Juugo’s brows knit and a deep frown on his face, his glassy eyes spoke only shock and hurt.

Now… Of course, now the telltale and hurried footsteps approaching.

"Oh my god!" a male and most certainly adult voice spoke.

It was Sasuke's old pre-algebra teacher, followed by the vice principal, Asuma Sarutobi. If only they'd come a minute earlier… Mr. Sarutobi could have definitely taken care of things. He was almost as large as Juugo.

Juugo gazed back at Sasuke in dumb shock, then looked down at his hands, palms up, trembling and smeared with blood. His eyes drifted over to Kabuto's body, then looked back at Sasuke questioningly. The intensity of Sasuke's own gaze faltered, befuddled. What was with that look?

Juugo stared back at the mess vapidly, and a moment of realization seemed to strike him as his eyes flickered back at Sasuke, his jaw quivering and his brow knit. They weren't given time to speak. The teachers were hustling Juugo out now, and Juugo stumbled along obediently, dazed. Sasuke forgot about Suigetsu, Karin, and the hoard of students  _still_  staring at them. He could do nothing but stare as Juugo was taken away. If only Juugo could have spoken to him… What was going on in Juugo's brain? But the vice principal lingered behind.

"You three, come with me."

Mr. Sarutobi walked forward, smelling of smoke as always.

"Where are we going?" Karin asked.

Heads turned as their classmates followed the three's exit from the crowded room.

"The principal's office," Asuma replied, refusing to use anything other than his father's title with other students.

Sasuke had been so distracted that he'd forgotten about his current legal situation. He had gone to court for punching someone in the face. That was the reason he worked at the soup kitchen to begin with, narrowly missing a lengthy stay in juvenile hall. And here he was, decking someone in the face in front of his entire school, only four months later.  _Shit_.

Sasuke didn't regret his decision. He knew that it had to be done, lest something unspeakable occur. Karin and Suigetsu didn't seem very affected by being taken back to the principal's office; they always were trouble makers anyhow. Suigetsu seemed to realize Sasuke's situation first, glancing back at Sasuke with slight concern. Sasuke turned away stubbornly, wishing to divulge no more of his thought process than was necessary.

The cafeteria doors shut loudly behind them, and a buzz of chatter resumed, barely audible behind the three of them. The halls were deserted. Everyone had run to the cafeteria for the fight. What sort of mess had Sasuke gotten himself into? The four walked silently, escorted into a waiting room with several chairs. The principal's office lay beyond the dark green painted door.

"Suigetsu, Karin, you'll talk to Principal Sarutobi separately."

The two nodded. The door opened, and Sasuke could see a crack of the familiar office. He'd been there many times before, but never once since his altercation with Sai. Karin waved him farewell.

"I'm going to tend to everyone else now," Asuma told Sasuke.

Sasuke knew what this was. Asuma was probably going to determine what would happen with Juugo, who hopefully was no longer dangerous. He was also likely gleaning information from the hundreds of eye witnesses. Of course, Asuma wouldn't tell Sasuke this, but Sasuke didn't press. Asuma walked towards the door, turning around and glancing at Sasuke hesitantly before leaving. How much had Asuma seen? Asuma, however, said nothing before exiting.

After all of the action of this lunch period, it felt strange for Sasuke to be alone. He strained to hear the conversation behind Principal Sarutobi's door, but he heard barely a mumble. He took in a deep breath, kicking his left leg out sulkily. He shouldn't  _be_  here. He hated the way the schooling system worked. It didn't matter  _why_  Sasuke threw that punch. The fact was that he did, and that was generally enough for punishment. They checked out their box on their forms and heeded government regulations, and here he was, right or wrong.

The fact that he was here because he had possibly saved Kabuto's life did nothing to make him feel better. A part of him wished he'd just let Juugo get rid of that thorn in his side. He didn't give a damn about Kabuto. It was Juugo he'd been concerned about.

Sasuke didn't know when or if Juugo would have stopped. He recalled the look Juugo gave him after he had punched him. When Juugo took in Kabuto's presence, he seemed surprised to have the man's body, bloodied and stilling beneath him.

He seemed detached, blindly driven by impulse. Juugo had snapped. Sasuke didn't know whether this was simply repressed anger, or if there was something seriously wrong with his friend. Just days ago, Sasuke discovered that Juugo actually cared about school, was getting held back a year, and had dyslexia. What other secrets might he be keeping?

He was foolish to have believed that he was the only one hiding something. Sasuke was keeping many secrets from many people, ranging from dead parents to stowaway hobos to drug dealing, depending on who the audience was. He'd assumed he was in a class of his own. He was special. Yeah, his friends could keep their own secrets, Sasuke was certain. But how deep could these secrets possibly run? After all, they were just normal teenagers.

His thoughts drifted from that to his current situation. Sasuke had obviously been trying to break up the fight, as he was sure many people could vouch for him. Yet he had still thrown a punch, and not out of self-defense. If he were to get sent to court… There was a good chance he'd end up in juvenile hall after all. And what would happen to Naruto? Would his brother lose custody of him? He hoped that Karin and Suigetsu hadn't said anything stupid.

Sasuke bit his cheek, preventing himself from catastrophizing. The chair was uncomfortable, digging into his tailbone as he looked at the stale off-white wall around him. Whatever happened, he was sure he could adapt. He knew he could handle suspension, or expulsion, or even juvenile hall. There was no changing his situation now. He only worried am mbout those who might be caught in the crossfire, like Naruto and Itachi.

Time stretched until Karin and Suigetsu finally left the room. They waved, leaving the door open as they walked out the room.

"See you later, Sasuke," Karin said quietly.

Sasuke cast them a questioning look. Had things gone well? Karin looked to Suigetsu, who shrugged sheepishly.

With their exit, the Asuma entered the waiting room once again.

"I just have something to relay to the principal," Asuma told Sasuke. "It won't be long."

Of course. It would've taken an idiot not to realize that they were comparing stories. Asuma had probably talked to a few uninvolved classmates, as well as Juugo. It only took about ten minutes until Asuma left the office, walking through the waiting room and opening the door to the hallway. Again, he looked at Sasuke before leaving.

"Good luck, Sasuke," he said gruffly, before closing the door and leaving Sasuke in silence.

The door was open. Sasuke walked towards it, slowly, wishing he could turn around and leave. He wrapped on the door twice.

"Come in," the principal's rough and low voice announced. His voice sounded similar to his son's.

Sasuke walked into the familiar office, two plush chairs seated in front of Principal Sarutobi's long desk. Sasuke took the seat closest to the principal, whose chin rested on interlaced fingers. His hair and beard had both gone white, but anyone who mistook him for senile would pay dearly. He had eyes that saw through the hackneyed excuses of his students and remembered each one of the hundreds by name. Sasuke took a seat, assuming proper posture. The man stared at Sasuke, his mouth hidden by his hands.

Finally, he spoke, in a level and steady voice, "So, Mr. Uchiha, from what I've heard, you assaulted another student in the cafeteria. Is that correct?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, thank you so much for your comments! I really appreciate them. Makes me a happy writer.
> 
> Anyhow, next weekend, I'm going to be camping with some friends from work, so I probably won't be able to post next Saturday. Sorry about that cliffhanger.  
> Not sorry.


	43. Chapter 43

"So, Mr. Uchiha, from what I've heard, you assaulted another student in the cafeteria. Is that correct?"

Sasuke frowned, his eyes meeting the principal's. The word "assaulted" was awfully accusatory, but he wouldn’t get defensive.

"I didn't 'assault' anyone. I was just breaking up a fight."

"Did you or did you not punch another student in the face?"

There was no point in denying the fact. Even Asuma, the vice principal, probably saw him punch Juugo.

"Yes, I did. But I only did so for the safety of another student."

The principal tilted his head to the side, taking in the information with a low, nearly inaudible grumble.

"Tell me, in your own words, what happened in the cafeteria today."

Sasuke took a deep breath, composing himself. He needed to speak convincingly. It wasn't only his own ass on the line. It was Juugo's as well. And even Itachi's and Naruto's, indirectly. He had to choose his words precisely, just like his brother trained him to do in the court room.

"Kabuto was verbally attacking us. He made a comment to me about my parents and issued physical threats. Juugo and Kabuto then began to fight."

"So Kabuto threatened and insulted you, and then Juugo attacked Kabuto on behalf of your honor and safety. Is this correct?"

He didn't like the word "attacked" either, but… This was also something there was just no getting around. Not with so many witnesses.

"Yes."

"Before resorting to physical violence, did you attempt to break up the fight in any other ways?"

"Yes. I asked Juugo to stop several times. After this, Suigetsu and I both tried to pull Juugo away from Kabuto from the back. I asked for help and requested that someone get a teacher. However, the situation was escalating quickly, and ultimately… There wasn't time to go by the books."

"Sasuke, you understand that this school has a zero tolerance policy towards physical violence, correct?"

It was difficult to read the principal, and he wished he'd take those wrinkled hands from his face. This didn't seem to be going well. Sasuke felt his palms sweat just slightly, but now wasn't the time to flounder. He had to compose himself, just like he had in court. He knew what to do. Itachi had schooled him on this.

"Principal Sarutobi, please understand that there was no ill will between Juugo and me. After I punched Juugo, the fighting ceased immediately. I acted solely out of concern for my friend and Kabuto, who, I remind you, had originally harassed me. Regardless of protocol, we can both agree that underlying purpose of the zero tolerance policy is student safety. This was my only motivation, and I believed that failure to act quickly and decisively could have had grave consequences for both my classmates and this school."

The way Sasuke spoke made him seem twice his age, Principal Sarutobi regarding Sasuke curiously. This was not the same boy who had been brought into his office this September.

"I see."

The principal sighed, rubbing the skin between his eyebrows. When he spoke next, it was clear that his words were entirely reluctant.

"Sasuke, I'm going to have to suspend you."

" _What,_ " Sasuke responded dryly, clearly noting the idiocy in this all.

"I understand why you felt the need to act as you did,” the principal sighed. “But frankly, Sasuke, rules are rules."

"Rules are rules?” Sasuke asked, now having difficulty keeping the frustration out of his tone. “That's all you have to say?"

He'd possibly even saved the life of one of this man's students, someone he  _abhorred_ , and he was going to get suspended for it? And what after suspension? What had happened last time he'd been suspended? Community service hours and a close call for a sentence in juvenile hall. Perfect.

"Yes. It's the way the adult world works, Sasuke. We all have rules to follow, even when they're inconvenient. It's called 'zero tolerance' for a reason. We can't make exceptions."

Sasuke held his tongue, a hearty variety of expletives threatening to leave his mouth at the principal's condescending reference to "the adult world." Did Principal Sarutobi think he was going to teach Sasuke something new here? But instead, he locked eyes with his principal.

"What would you have done, Principal Sarutobi?"

"Sasuke…"

"Because anyone who sits back and watches a friend throw their life away over him doesn't deserve to look that person in the eye and call them his friend."

The principal was unable to look at Sasuke, feeling as if he was speaking to someone far beyond Sasuke's age and trying not to fidget. Sasuke certainly wasn't an ordinary student. Whatever had happened, to him, whatever he'd become, and whatever he'd endured… Sasuke had changed.

He sighed, for a moment feeling like  _he_  should be the one explaining himself to Sasuke. The principal quickly righted this in his own mind.

"That's very respectable, Sasuke, but this is just the way it has to be. I realize that you've been in some legal trouble recently."

Sasuke merely grunted, crossing his arms. Yes, now he seemed much closer to his real age.

"You're not going to get pulled back into court unless someone presses charges. The school won't. I'll see to that personally. Only Juugo or Juugo's family is in a legal position to press charges, and their case would be weak at best."

Sasuke nodded, his posture relaxing. As weak as their case was, Sasuke thought that the judge might use any excuse offered to put him away. However, Juugo's parents adored him. There was no way they'd press charges.

"It's still bullshit," Sasuke sulked.

"As long as you stay out of trouble, this won't come back to haunt you. Your teachers will be made aware of the circumstances. And don't swear in my office."

Sasuke was glad that the principal would at least vouch for him as to why he was getting suspended yet again. Despite his grades, he didn't have the best reputation at his school when it came to getting into fights. Anyone uninformed would likely assume that Sasuke had asked for it in one way or another.

"Thanks."

The principal stared down at his desk, illuminated by the afternoon sun peering through the office blinds.

"You showed a lot of control today, Sasuke. You're a good kid."

Sasuke shrugged, unsure of how to accept that compliment.

"If you'd like, I can also call your brother and let him know what happened."

"No thanks. I'll explain it to him myself."

"Okay. You've come a long way over the past year," the principal stated, looking at Sasuke as he moved some papers onto the paper tray on his desk. "You've made some difficult adjustments."

Yeah, no shit. Sasuke shifted in his seat. He didn't like where this was going. Principal Sarutobi was sounding too much like a social worker for Sasuke's tastes, but this was frequently the procedure with authority figures when the fire came up.

"How have things been, Sasuke?"

Principal Sarutobi glanced up at Sasuke casually, trying not to look pushy.

"Can we just not?" Sasuke answered listlessly.

His principal chuckled.

"Yes, Sasuke. We can 'just not.'"

Another silence between them.

"Your suspension is effective immediately. Before I send you home, do you have any questions for me?"

Sasuke stood, turning to walk out before asking but pausing.

"What's going to happen to Juugo?"

The principal frowned.

"I don't know."

"Juugo's… I’ve never seen him like that before. He's a good guy, with a clean record. I’d like you to keep that in mind."

He didn't think that anything he could have said would have given Juugo a lighter sentence, but he could at least try.

"I hope you're appreciating the severity of this situation, Sasuke. We just sent Kabuto off in an ambulance."

Sasuke's face lowered to the ground. He shouldn't have been surprised that Kabuto was going to the hospital after what he'd seen. Still, the fact that an ambulance had been called reminded of just how serious this had been. What would have happened had he not intervened? And what was going to happen to Juugo? Even Sasuke, for all the fights he'd gotten into, had never injured anyone  _this_  badly.

"I don't understand why this happened," Sasuke at last admitted quietly.

Principal Sarutobi rubbed his hand through his beard, thinking quietly and peering at the ground. He at last resumed eye contact with Sasuke, staring at the boy closely.

"There are some elements involved in this situation that you are unaware of."

This was his principal's circuitous way of stating a very simple fact: there was something that Sasuke didn't know.

"What elements?"

"I cannot legally disclose that. I've told you nothing."

He wanted to press. There was clearly some sort of secret here. The principal knew. If even he knew, who else might have known as well? And a secret about whom? Kabuto? …Juugo?

"Understood."

There was nothing else he could do. The principal had already endangered himself by insinuating this much to Sasuke, and Sasuke was appreciative. After what had happened in the cafeteria today, there  _had_  to be something about Juugo he didn't know.

He couldn't explain that look on Juugo's face for the life of him. Was it that he didn't remember what he'd done to Kabuto? How the hell could someone forget that? Or was it just that he'd been snapped out of a daze and had been shocked at his own behavior?

He left the principal's office just as the next class period was coming to an end. The halls were quiet, barely starting to wake as a few students trickled out of their classrooms. They stared at Sasuke, murmured amongst themselves, then would look back to him discreetly. Sasuke walked briskly, heading towards the bus stop.

"Wait!" a female voice shouted after him.

Footsteps quickly approached him. Sasuke never looked behind him, only increasing his pace. He wanted to get out of here before the rush hit.

"Excuse me… Ah! Sorry, Shika… Ino, move your fat ass!"

Her voice was becoming louder, but Sasuke didn't slow down. He'd almost made it out the building's main door when her surprisingly strong hand gripped Sasuke's bicep. Sasuke turned around, reluctantly, to find Sakura's worried visage looking back at him.

"What, Sakura?"

"Sasuke… What… What happened today?"

"Why does it concern you?" Sasuke inquired.

Sakura huffed, injured by Sasuke's curt attitude.

"Now let me get out of this building before  _other_  people start hounding me with questions."

Sasuke whipped his black scarf, which had been hanging on his neck, over his shoulder as the outside air came seeping in. He was still holding the door open as he attempted to exit.

"Please, Sasuke. Don't pretend…like we mean nothing to each other."

"I thought I told you to stay away from me."

He was being cruel, perhaps. But only for Sakura's good. She didn't need to be involved in this bullshit, in this mess he'd created.

"Dammit, Sasuke!" Sakura hissed, grabbing Sasuke by the arm. "What the hell are you getting yourself into? Where are you going?!"

"Home."

"Home?"

"I'm suspended."

Sakura's viridian eyes widened abruptly in alarm.

"Sasuke… That's not good."

Sasuke sighed, looking around him.

"You're going to be late for class."

"I don't care."

Sasuke knit the skin between his brows, feeling a headache form. Today had been  _quite_  the headache indeed. He rolled his eyes.

"Please, just let me know you're safe."

A disgruntled sigh from Sasuke.

"Fine. Follow me."

The two of them walked out towards the lawn outside. Sasuke wanted out of that school. He hated the majority of the people who went there, or at least he did at the moment. They'd all stared at today's catastrophe like mute idiots. The kids here were like cattle, palavering about the latest fads in their own sheltered, self-entitled little worlds. He hoped that the caliber of his peers would improve upon entering the "adult world," though the still very cynical side of Sasuke doubted it.

"You want to know what  _really_  happened?"

Sakura nodded quietly.

"I stopped selling. Kabuto was pissed. Kabuto started getting on me and threatened me in front of Juugo, and Juugo fucking lost it. That's about it."

A partial truth, yes. But knowing any more would have been both unnecessary and hazardous to Sakura's safety.

"You've…stopped selling?"

"Yeah."

"Phew…" Sakura answered with relief, the slightest nervous laugh in her tone. "But why? Why did you stop?"

He could tell her, but why would he?

"Don't ask a question you already know the answer to."

There were so many obvious reasons for Sasuke to stop doing this, so the question was easy for him to evade.

"Ino told me that Kabuto said that your brother..." Sakura mumbled. "That he was in really bad shape."

About his brother? Shit, what had Kabuto said? The situation had gotten so crazy that what the student body had heard from Kabuto didn't even cross his mind.

_"You are the pussiest one out of the whole bunch. Your brother could fucking die, and you are too afraid to show some balls and afford for him the care and the life he deserves after taking care of your ass. He had to step to the plate after your parents got charred to bits, and you just leech off of him!"_

Sasuke paused, his eyes widening.

Fuck.

"People know?" Sasuke asked before he could stop himself. He didn't sound so distant this time.

They knew about Itachi, and they'd heard what Kabuto said about Sasuke's parents. Sasuke couldn't help but be humiliated. By the last period, everyone would know. After the scene his group had made, Sasuke was almost glad he'd gotten suspended.

But as specifically pertained to his brother, he also didn't want them running their mouths to any authority figures who could make life harder for the brothers.

Sakura paused for a while, then nodded.

"Yeah. Everyone knows that there's something wrong with him. People are assuming he's sick."

Sasuke nodded slowly, taking a hard swallow.

"Why didn't you tell me, Sasuke?" Sakura asked, her eyes welling up and voice breaking. "I could've helped. I can't even imagine what you're going through right now."

"That's exactly why I didn't tell you," Sasuke muttered, his voice low. "I didn't want you involved."

"I'm so sorry for being such a bitch..." Sakura bit her quivering lip. "God, why didn't I believe in you?"

"You know just why. When I was suspended, Itachi wasn't even sick. They almost sent me to juvie."

Sasuke could see Sakura sympathizing with him, and he didn't like it. First of all, he didn't like people whining over him, the theatrics. Secondly, his situation was still dangerous. He needed to keep her away.

"Don't change your perception of me and act like I'm some saint just because I've had shitty luck," Sasuke said sourly.

Sakura paused for a moment, unblinkingly. She looked surprised, hurt. It told only a moment for her to compose herself, giving Sasuke a wry smile.

"I'd believe hell iced over before I'd believe you're a saint."

He couldn't help but snicker. They stood there quietly, the atmosphere relaxing now.

"Can I ask you a question, Sasuke?"

"Say what you will."

"Are you going to be good now? Just answer. The worry's killing me."

"I was planning on a few bank robberies and assassinations, but if you  _insist_ …"

He did intend on being good, of course. But he didn't want to be bound if he could help it.

"Sasuke…" Sakura answered, smiling but still afraid of getting her hopes dashed. "Please answer me directly. Promise you're going to behave?"

Sasuke stopped to think before answering Sakura. Was this a promise he could really make?

"Yeah, I'll behave."

After this past year, with all of the alcohol, drugs, theft, violence, and delinquency, it felt odd to say it. But this was his intent. It was also how he always  _used_  to be. He never  _used_  to be a troublemaker. Maybe returning to this way of life would not be such an adjustment.

"What Kabuto said... And even after that, you punched your best friend in the face to save that son of a bitch. I seriously don’t know how you kept your cool. Even I would have gone crazy on that asshole."

"I have no doubts," Sasuke stated wryly. This was Sakura, after all.

"You know, when you told me you were gonna behave… I might not've believed it."

"Thanks, Sakura," Sasuke responded sarcastically.

"But I can tell. It's like you're coming back… The old Sasuke."

Sasuke glanced far away, at the bus stop. His bus wasn't due for another twenty minutes at least, but it gave him an excuse to look away nonetheless. The old him… Had he really changed so drastically, so obviously? He'd lost sight of himself, perhaps.

"Yeah. Just don't go falling for me again. You should know better by now."

Sakura rolled her eyes, jabbing Sasuke in the arm with a laugh, "Don't get such a big head."

Sasuke snickered. From far off, they heard the school bell ring, the first of ten chimes.

"You might be able to make it, if you hurry."

Sakura looked towards the school, then at Sasuke, then back towards the school, conflicted.

"Go," Sasuke added, shooing her away with a look both teasing and impatient.

Sakura leaned forward and pecked Sasuke's cheek before separating herself and quickly sprinting off.

"See you around, loser!" she shouted back at him.

Sasuke rubbed at his cheek, a slight film of lip gloss on the back of his hand. Naruto would  _kill_  him if he noticed it. The lip gloss was her favorite – cherry lime. But that scent was bringing up some rather troublesome memories. Certainly nothing he needed to think about at the moment. Besides, he had Naruto, and Sakura had Gaara. And god, he was looking forward to going home, taking a shower, and maybe getting out a little pent up frustration.

The bus ride wasn't long, not when his mind was so preoccupied. He unlocked his home, hearing Adventure Time playing from the other room. The instant Sasuke closed the door behind him, he heard Naruto walk away from the TV. Sasuke should have felt flattered, really. For Naruto to walk away from one of his favorite shows for  _anyone_  was quite the compliment.

Naruto made his way into the kitchen, which offered him a good view of Sasuke, needlessly pouring himself a second glass of water.

"Welcome home, bastard," Naruto grinned.

As tired as Sasuke appeared, he felt like just a portion of Naruto's energy had rubbed off on him. Sasuke waved, resting his backpack on the chair by the kitchen table.

"Hey, why are you home so early?"

And here it was. Time to explain. How the hell could he explain what just happened today? He didn't even understand it himself. Again, Sasuke rubbed at his eyes, feeling his tension headache build.

"Just a sec," he added, rummaging the kitchen counter for an Excedrin. He reached out, and grabbed the pill, only to be interrupted.

"Sasuke…"

"Hm?"

"Is that blood on your sleeve?"

Sasuke glanced down at his arm. Ah… So there was blood on it, though only a small smear. Naruto was staring at Sasuke now his mouth partially open.

"It's not mine, if that makes you feel any better."

It apparently didn't, the same shocked and concerned expression on Naruto's face.

"What happened?"

Sasuke frowned, taking the pill with a deep swallow of Naruto's water.

"From the top?"

"From the top."

"We couldn't convince Suigetsu, but everyone else decided to sit the robbery out. So we confronted Kabuto as a group during lunch. We figured that things would be least likely to get out of hand if we were in a public place. At least theoretically."

"I'm guessing that didn't work out so well," Naruto answered, sighing.

"Kabuto started going off on each of us. Of course, he finished off with me and didn't hold any punches. Then, he threatened me, and my friend Juugo… He fucking lost it. I don't know how else to describe it."

"You mean… He beat him up or something?  _Finally!_ ” Naruto cheered. “I've been waiting for someone to fuck that douchebag up! I woulda even done it myself if I could've."

He  _wished_  he could've. He felt so powerless when it came to Sasuke's affairs, but at least  _someone_  seemed to have his back. Naruto was smiling, looking perfectly satisfied. He didn't understand. Not yet.

"That's what I thought originally. But things got…bad. None of us could get Juugo to stop, until I finally had to resort force. Kabuto had to be taken away in an ambulance."

"Damn… What's up with your friend?"

"I have no idea. This is extremely out of character for him."

Naruto's brows knit, and Sasuke knew that he was concerned for him. Could he really blame Naruto for considering Juugo unsafe? Sasuke would have thought the same thing in Naruto's situation.

"The reason I got home early… They suspended me, because I punched Juugo when I was trying to break up the fight. There was just no other way of getting through to him."

Naruto's face sunk.

"They're…not gonna…"

"No. The school is basically on my side but had to suspend me because it's protocol. For all intents and purposes, I'm in the clear."

Naruto nodded slowly, overwhelmed by all of the information.

"And Kabuto… Is he out of your hair now?"

Sasuke honestly didn't know. Would Kabuto want revenge? Would he want to regain his honor? Or would he be thankful that Sasuke had quite possibly saved his life? Kabuto was probably in the ER right now, but Sasuke was certain that he could still make some pivotal phone calls. Knowing a guy like Orochimaru was enough.

"I sort've saved his ass. So I'm assuming so."

Naruto let out a long breath, wrapping his arms over Sasuke's shoulders and letting them dangle on his chest.

"It's always a close call with you, isn't it?"

Never mind how many times Naruto's boyfriend had just about given him a heart attack. He'd refrain from mentioning that much though.

"Mn. Just a day in the life."

"The hell, man…" Naruto smirked. "I used to be the one getting into fixes. Now  _you_  up and take my shine."

"What can I say? I like showing you up."

"Dick," Naruto mumbled under his breath with a smile.

Sasuke continued to drink Naruto's water, leaning against the kitchen counter with Naruto's body against his. Yes, Sasuke had come home early and gotten himself suspended. But Naruto had been terrified that Sasuke wouldn't come home today at all. Yet here he was. How many more days would they have together in this house, playing the part of the married couple?

It felt complete, but it was synthetic. Naruto knew that in the most likely circumstance, this would only count for a couple months of their lives, a short time they'd never forget and perhaps never get the chance to replicate. So he grasped at Sasuke a little more tightly, kissing the crook of his neck around his scarf, which was once again hanging, unwrapped, over his neck.

The sensation of Naruto's lips on his neck broke Sasuke out of his thoughts. It had been a difficult day; that much was a fact. Sasuke leaned his head towards the side, offering Naruto more reign.

"You're awfully affectionate today."

"Is that a problem?" Naruto asked, playfully tugging on Sasuke's earlobe with his teeth.

Despite himself, Sasuke felt a mild tingle roll from the base of his neck to his tailbone. He turned towards Naruto, inclining his face up and kissing him slowly. His arms rested on Naruto's lower back, Sasuke's fingers locked loosely together. Naruto reached up and placed a hand on Sasuke's cheek, their tongues barely reaching into each other's mouths.

Sasuke was the first to grow unsatisfied with this, his tongue venturing farther, moving with just slightly more force. For all that had happened, and all the bullshit he had on his mind, he needed an outlet. These gentle and steady caresses teased him now. He leaned forward, causing Naruto to take an unplanned and instinctive step back, bumping into one of the cupboards. The tapping noise as the woods collided created a sense of unrestraint, Naruto now competitively moving back to meet Sasuke, his motions becoming every bit as dominant.

Naruto's other hand rested on Sasuke's chest, feeling the gentle rising and falling. Sasuke's tongue met Naruto's molars, Naruto's eyes shutting. Sasuke glanced at Naruto, watching his eyelids fall before Sasuke allowed his own to do the same. Sasuke's hands fell, his fingers finding purchase in the loops of Naruto's jeans. Their chests bumped together as their kisses intensified, and Sasuke felt the urge to reach still lower…

Sasuke broke the kiss, leaning forward and whispering into Naruto's ear, as if they could be overheard, "Do you want to go upstairs?"

Naruto's eyes widened slightly, wondering if Sasuke had anything specific in mind besides, of course, the obvious. He nodded. Both walked towards the stairs, and in a rare show of etiquette, Sasuke offered Naruto to walk up first. Naruto grinned at Sasuke, and Sasuke smirked back at his lover's obliviousness to his true intents.

As they moved, taking brisk step by brisk step, the thought occurred to Naruto that he could no longer see his lover, whose footsteps were closely following his own. He opened the bedroom door, Sasuke still following behind him. He neared the bed, and then…

He didn't see it coming when Sasuke flung him onto the bed, his body bouncing once as the mattress took on his weight. Sasuke joined him, slinking forward like a beast stalking its prey. Naruto moved back, taken by surprise. Sasuke straddled him, gripping his wrists hard as he fastened them to the bed. Naruto struggled upwards, trying to twist off to the side. Responding quickly, Sasuke placed his knee between Naruto's thighs and upwards towards his groin.

"Woah! Getting a little…"

Sasuke applied a little more force between Naruto's thighs than was comfortable. There. That should keep him in check. Naruto gasped sharply in the middle of his sentence before being able to finish.

"…a-ahead of ourselves, are we?"

Sasuke merely tilted his head, regarding Naruto lustfully and commandingly.

"Naruto, in the past four hours, I've watched someone almost get beaten to death, punched my friend in the face, got suspended, and chanced incarceration. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?"

Sasuke had the tone of someone fed up with close calls, fed up with curveballs, fed up with bullshit. Now, he wanted  _control_. Naruto's eyes drifted off, frowning before he glanced back at Sasuke uncertainly. So much had happened already. And there was so much more to come. It was, truthfully, a little scary.

"But in this moment, you're here, you're underneath me, and you're  _mine_. That's all that matters right now. So I'm going to plow inside you so deep you can't help but scream out my name."

Naruto bit his lip, suppressing a whimper at the sound of those words. He had no complaints, of course, but all form of thought was blocked from leaving his lips. He just stared, dazed, giving Sasuke a slight nod.

Sasuke kissed him, wasting no time to steady escalation, biting his lower lip and forcing his tongue deep into Naruto's mouth. Naruto moaned, craning his head forward with like enthusiasm, their teeth bumping slightly in their frenzy. They were forced to breathe through their noses as the kiss prolonged, growing more and more passionate.

Sasuke nipped at Naruto's chin, biting and sucking at his neck at will. As Sasuke left a deep purple mark behind, Naruto felt Sasuke's bangs brush against his cheeks, and he curled his toes tight as he allowed himself to be owned. He fought to bring his arms up from off the bed, after which Sasuke slammed his arms down and gripped his wrists so hard that Naruto's fingers began to grow red.

"Don't you dare disobey me," Sasuke snarled.

Fuck, it hurt, but Sasuke's mouth felt so good. It was the perfect medley. Yet the way Sasuke ordered, as if his royal decree trumped all insolence, only incited Naruto. Maybe if he'd asked him  _nicely_. But who was this bastard to push him around? He tried to free his arms again, but Sasuke's knee gave a painful nudge to the steadily growing erection housed in Naruto's jeans. Naruto yelped, quickly using his feet to push his body up on the bed and avoid the unwelcome pressure. Sasuke's knee followed, relentlessly, unwilling to be escaped. His grip on Naruto's wrist tightened, as if that were even possible. Sasuke was  _still_  stronger than him?  _Why?_

"I warned you. I was being nice."

Sasuke's voice was deep and menacing. Normally, this was nothing he would fear. But Naruto's hands were tingling and going numb. He couldn't escape the pain that restricted his stiffening length, kept in place by his wrists. He couldn't relax any of his muscles and allow his lower half to fall back down on the bed, or the sensation would near unbearable.

He doubted Sasuke would move his knee backwards to accommodate him. His back, his abs, his knees, his thighs… His muscles ached, using all their strength to maintain his position. His chest tightened as anxiety began to grow, his mind drifting back, remembering… No, he couldn't remember that. His eyes regarded Sasuke with fear, and Sasuke smirked. That fucking sadist.

"But I have a knack for cruelty. Would you like to test this?"

Naruto licked his lips and swallowed, shaking his head fervently. His panting was shallow and quick.

"Then obey."

He was torn between lashing out and reveling the moment. He would get Sasuke back for this, dammit, but right now, after as concerned he’d been about losing Sasuke, it felt too good to submit, to give his ego a rest and just _feel_.

"Y-yes, Sasuke."

And Sasuke's knee moved back, allowing Naruto's muscles their much desired release. Naruto's hands ached as a static of tingles informed him that Sasuke's grip had relented, blood painfully replenishing his digits. He moved his fingers against each other, feeling returning to them.

But as Sasuke fully pulled his knee back, Naruto grew to miss its presence. He now stretched his body downwards, seeking contact with it as blue eyes stared at Sasuke imploringly. Sasuke's hands were currently occupied, so Sasuke was only able to look down, a smug half smile taking his face.

"Already so greedy…"

Sasuke moved his knee forward again, but this time, by just the perfect amount. Naruto had never been in this position before, completely under someone else's power. It was scary, degrading, and honestly, arousing as all fuck. He shamelessly began to make minute movements from his lower back, grinding gently against Sasuke's thigh.

Sasuke leaned forward and kissed Naruto again, and Naruto kissed back appreciatively, obediently, gratefully…

"So good…" Sasuke told Naruto, his voice soft and almost comforting. "This is what you get when you heed my orders."

Naruto moaned needily. He'd obey, and obey, and obey again if this was the treatment it would afford him. But there was something in the punishment, that feeling of fear… It was delicious, addictive. What was Sasuke truly capable of? He knew Sasuke's history, remembered the scars on Sasuke's body, knew that he did, indeed, have quite the violent disposition. After all, isn't this why they met in the first place? This was something Sasuke had to control to function in society, but most certainly not to function in the bedroom.

Sasuke was growing quite frustrated with Naruto's eyes being able to predict his every movement. He saw Naruto's mind preparing himself for everything, craning his neck when Sasuke sucked at it, the muscles preemptively twitching as they were made aware of his imminent presence. He was also quite limited without the use of his hands.

"I'm going to release your hands for a bit," Sasuke told Naruto. "Can I trust you to behave?"

Naruto nodded, so Sasuke released him. Sasuke unbuttoned Naruto's jeans and quickly pulled them off, causing Naruto to take a trembling gasp as his lower region was exposed to the room's temperature through his boxers. He twisted Naruto onto his back, the blond's body offering him no resistance. He used the legs of Naruto's jeans to perfectly knot his wrists together, snuggly enough to endure any treasonous efforts but loosely enough to allow ample blood flow and pose only the slightest bit of discomfort.

He'd only done this a handful of times. Sakura had  _loved_  it. But of course, he had to be in just the right headspace for it. Today had done that for him perfectly. He tied the knot nicely and neatly, rolling Naruto onto his back again. Naruto swallowed, feeling his chest tighten. He was beneath Sasuke, defenseless, and he was  _loving_  it. So fucking what? It wasn't as if he couldn't do the very thing to Sasuke…at least in theory.

But while this turned him on, he couldn't help… Shit, why was that night coming into the picture right now? He willed his mind around it. He couldn't think of that. He couldn't think of  _him_. It was only Sasuke right now.

Sasuke kissed Naruto once again, staring directly into his eyes. He took the scarf off from around his neck, holding it up to Naruto's face.

"Take it all in, Naruto. The room, the way you look right now, my face… Because after this, the only thing you'll be able to do is  _feel_ , just how I want you to."

Naruto nodded, feeling his erection stiffen. Just feeling was fine with Naruto. He had no doubts of Sasuke's ability to make him feel pleasure beyond what he'd ever experienced before, far beyond the work of his own hand, or just about anything else he could imagine. Sex with Sasuke made ramen look like worm chow, and that was saying something. Blind folded, wrists bound, however he could get it, he wanted it. And to remove all choice of action from him by binding his wrists, and all distracting sensory input by blindfolding him… Naruto wondered if he could even take it, unadulterated and pure.

The soft black cloth met his face, going over his eyes. He lifted his head so Sasuke could tie it behind his skull. Sasuke lay Naruto down again, and he kissed, bit his lip, kissed down his neck… Naruto's chest began to tighten. He couldn't see Sasuke anymore, couldn't see those fierce but reassuring eyes, see that unmistakable haircut, grasp and feel Sasuke's flesh… The only thing he had was Sasuke's scent and his rough touches. Besides that, he could've been anyone, he could've even been…

Naruto's chest was beginning to tighten. No, this wasn't good. It wasn't  _him_. It wasn't his foster parent. It was Sasuke, he reminded himself. Sasuke. Sasuke. Why were these thoughts intruding… And his eyes… They watered. Was he crying? Crying out of what? Pleasure? Fear? Panic? No… It was certainly panic now. He couldn't escape. It wasn't Sasuke. It was him. It was  _him_.

"S-stop," Naruto hiccupped, his tears making their way into his voice.

Sasuke did, indeed, stop, staring at Naruto in confusion. Sasuke flattered himself that he was learning his lover enough so that he realized when stop meant "stop" and when stop meant "for the love of all that is holy,  _keep going_." Besides, there were safe words for that.

This, however, left him perplexed. He slinked up towards Naruto's face again, pecking his lip softly and brushing his thumb against Naruto's scarred cheek. His finger accidentally strayed to the edge of the scarf. It was wet.

He recoiled, staring at Naruto in shock. Sasuke felt his gut sink, remembering the day that Naruto had told him how he'd gotten those scars. They had been wrestling in this bed, and then… Sasuke had triggered a panic attack by holding Naruto down. He suddenly felt like the world's greatest ass.

"Naruto…" he said softly. "We don't have to do it like this if you don't want to. I can untie you."

The sound of Sasuke's voice grounded him, and his chest felt a little lighter.

"No…" Naruto responded. He was liking this. He really was. He just needed a second to adjust, to tame his unruly thoughts. "It's fine. I just meant to stop for a second… I needed to catch my breath."

But would that really fix things? He didn't want to trigger yet  _another_  panic attack for Naruto. He was sadistic, yes. But of all the ways he'd  _love_  to torture Naruto, this was most certainly not one of them.

"But you're kind of…uh…"

"What?"

Sasuke stared down at Naruto, still blindfolded, allowing himself to look much more concerned than he would have otherwise.

"Crying. Which is generally considered a sign of distress."

"I am not  _crying_ , asshole!"

Naruto would have swung at Sasuke for saying that, if only his arms had been free. He was  _not_  crying! His defiance would have been far more credible had he not been bound and blindfolded, he felt.

"Right," Sasuke answered dryly. "Look, like I said, we don't have to do this. I can take the blindfold off."

"No, don't…take it off…" Naruto requested with just the slightest note of desperation. "I… I like it."

He blushed at the admission - the admission that he liked it when Sasuke dominated him like that, that he  _liked_  letting that damned bastard control him.

"Then why…"

"I… My mind keeps telling me that you're him."

The sentence visibly pained Sasuke, his reaction left unseen to Naruto. It filled him with familiar anger, made him wish he could have protected Naruto and destroyed that man, if only he'd had the chance back then. He held the back of his hand to Naruto's cheek, Naruto nuzzling his hot and flushed skin against Sasuke's cool hand. Naruto wanted this, but Sasuke knew now that he had to proceed with care. If Sasuke kept talking, he could guide Naruto through. If Naruto couldn't see Sasuke, maybe hearing him would be enough. Then Naruto would remember that he was safe.

Sasuke pet Naruto's forehead, his cheek… He kissed the first scar on it so gently.

"It's me," he told Naruto in a voice so entirely different from the forceful and brutal commands that he'd issued before. His tone was so uncharacteristically sweet now, and Naruto loved those rare times he heard Sasuke speak this way. How could someone ordinarily so cold and distant become so kind?

He kissed the scar beneath it, his large hand cradling Naruto's jaw.

"It's me."

He repeated the words, kissing another scar.

"It's me."

Naruto was beginning to silently cry again, but for different reasons entirely. His muscles were relaxing. He felt so loved, so accepted, so  _safe_. Sasuke saw every part of him, and he loved him for it. With Sasuke here, no one would hurt him.

"Naruto, do you trust me?" he asked, his voice still so kind.

"Of course I do," Naruto answered insistently, emotionally, still blinded and vulnerable.

Sasuke smiled, knowing that no one would see it.

"Then let go and just  _feel_. I'm here, and you're safe. Don't think about the past. Think about the way my lips feel on your cheek in this exact moment."

Another kiss against the raised scars Naruto considered so shameful and ugly.

"About the way my hand feels on your chest…"

Sasuke reached his arm underneath Naruto's shirt, resting his palm on Naruto's left pec so that he could feel his heart beating beneath his hand. The beat flurried, and Sasuke's knee, still in place, revealed that Naruto's thoughts were beginning to migrate from lovey and sentimental to something a little more primal.

"Or my lips on your mouth…"

He connected his lips with Naruto, kissing softly and slowly. Naruto returned the kiss passionately. They kissed for a moment now, taking it slowly but mounting in intensity. Sasuke parted from Naruto, and there was silence before he felt Sasuke's tongue circle his areola, teeth delivering a gentle pinch to Naruto's nipple before his mind had time to process Sasuke's new position. Naruto jumped.

"My teeth on your nipple…"

Naruto's blood was going south now. The pace that Sasuke was moving at, explaining every bit to him… It was nice, but it was  _slow_. Before he was retreating, blissed but overwhelmed, but now he just wanted more.  _More_ …

Naruto inhaled sharply as he felt Sasuke's slightly cooler palm under his boxers, moving softly up and down his dick.

"Or my hand, feeling up that impressive boner you've got currently," Sasuke snickered.

Naruto's face flushed as attention was being brought to his arousal. He whined as he squirmed, trying to create friction between his swelling cock and Sasuke's palm.

"You've gotten greedy again," Sasuke commented, the sweetness leaving his voice and being replaced by something a little rougher, a little more challenging.

"'S cuz you're teasing me, asshole."

"Am I?" Sasuke asked sarcastically. And there Sasuke was, back to his old evil self. Only now, Naruto was prepared.

"Then what, exactly, do you want?"

"Take a wild guess."

"No, I meant what  _exactly_ do you want. Tell me."

Naruto bit his lip, simultaneously loving and hating Sasuke. If he could see Sasuke at the moment, he knew just what look would be on that bastard's face.

"I want you to get me off."

"How?"

Naruto paused for a moment. How could he tell Sasuke this? It was so difficult to match Sasuke when it came to talking dirty. How could he put something like that into words?

"I trust your expert judgment," Naruto responded mockingly.

"Perfect," Sasuke answered, and his tone assured Naruto that things couldn't  _possibly_  be that simple. "Beg for it."

"No! I'm not gonna-"

Sasuke's hand left Naruto's erection, and Naruto tried not to whine at the absence.

"Do I need to remind you what happens when-"

Naruto could see nothing. He only heard that voice. It was the same one Sasuke had used earlier, as Naruto's hands numbed and his body retreated. It was a voice that Naruto knew he must  _never_  disobey.

"Please, Sasuke…" Naruto asked with a slight quiver to his quiet voice.

"I can't hear you."

"Sasuke, please!"

"Hm?" Sasuke asked, prompting him to continue.

"Please, do whatever you want! My body belongs to you. I just need to feel you! Please own me and fuck me and fill me so that your cock inside of me is the  _only_  thing I can think about! _Please!_ "

Naruto shouted, and then there was silence. Sasuke smirked. Naruto tried to imagine what exactly Sasuke's face looked like right now. If he'd have been able to see, he would have noticed a slight flush on Sasuke's cheeks as he fought his own arousal at those words. He felt the vibrations in Naruto's stomach and ribcage against his inner thighs as Naruto cried out for him, bound and blinded beneath him. Fuck, it was too good. But he knew that the only thing that Naruto could perceive was the polished control and authority in his voice.

This had been one crazy day. Very easily, Sasuke knew, he might not be at his house, with Naruto. He might have been in a detention center, maybe a hospital… As judicious as he tried to be these days, he had ventured out of his league, and he was by no means immune to the consequences. Even now, he didn’t know when those consequences would leave him.

But he had control at this particular moment. He could channel all of his anger and frustration into this charged connection and come back out victorious, pleasured, and loved.

Sasuke moved lower down on the bed, sitting beside Naruto. His tugged Naruto's boxers off quickly, leaving his lower half completely exposed. Naruto felt Sasuke's weight settle on his left leg as he sat over it, and then, Sasuke's now much warmer hand on his cock, slicked slightly with saliva. It pumped slowly, becoming more rapid.

"If you could only see yourself right now…" Sasuke mused. He wouldn't stop talking. He didn’t want Naruto to remember the past, and he didn't want Naruto to forget exactly who was making him feel this way. "Your cheeks are blushing so red. The backs of your knees are sweaty. Your chest and stomach are flushed, and your cock is sticking up so lewdly. And that face you make, when you bite your lip…"

Naruto realized now that he was indeed biting his lip, though he'd been too distracted to notice before. The sensation of Sasuke's hand on his needy cock had hijacked any sense of conscious contemplation. Sasuke continued to pump, faster, and then… Nothing. He released Naruto. Naruto whined for only a second until he felt wetness… It was Sasuke's mouth on his dick, sucking at the speed his hand had once adopted. Naruto's toes clawed the sheets, whining as his hands fought against the restraint. There was nothing he could do. He was Sasuke's, to do with as he pleased. And he was loving it.

Naruto's balls were hardening now, and he felt all heat rush so quickly to his thighs, his ass, his cock… Sasuke had barely even gotten Naruto into his mouth, and Naruto was already this close to cumming? Naruto was humiliated. He moaned, twisting vainly.

Sasuke sucked harder, faster, moaning to remind Naruto again, also knowing the vibrations coursed through Naruto's erection. He sucked at the tip, his tongue tapping Naruto's slit teasingly as his fingers gently massaged Naruto's balls. And Sasuke took Naruto so far back that his cock hammered against his throat, sucking hard, going back and forth in long pumps.

"S-Sasuke!" Naruto cried out. "I'm gonna cum… I'm gonna cum…"

His arms pulled outwards, the roughness of his own denim jeans keeping them in place. He fought against the restraints, knowing that this was a struggle he could never win, one he'd never  _want_  to win. He grit his teeth together, eyes shut tight behind his blindfold. It made the sensations that much more unpredictable, that much more  _vivid_. Because all he could do was feel.

" _Sasuke!_ "

He yelled as he ejaculated, filling Sasuke's mouth, which slid off of his now flaccid cock. Naruto wished he could've reached forward to bring Sasuke's body on top of him, to cuddle close up into him.

"You were gorgeous, Naruto," Sasuke told him, his mouth free once again.

Sasuke's hands brushed down Naruto's chest, his stomach, his thighs, his ass… The muscles in his body still clenched on and off.

Sasuke, however… He was still hard.  _He_  still wanted it. And watching Naruto orgasm made it even worse. God, gorgeous didn't even cut it. Naruto had been  _beautiful_. Naruto hadn't held back, he'd fallen into the moment. Sasuke knew that those horrible thoughts weren't holding him back any longer. He allowed Naruto to lie there, basking in the aftermath for a moment, kissing his thighs, his stomach, his chest, his neck… Naruto had moaned softly, as if he were in the middle of a wet dream.

But slowly, his body began to wake up. He began to shift. Sasuke had moved away from him, but Naruto could feel the bed moving as Sasuke moved about. He felt Sasuke leave the bed, but he returned to it in a few seconds. What was he up to? Although still bound and blind, Naruto's mind was operating again as he came back into his own.

"Naruto…"

Sasuke spoke lustily, running his finger lightly over Naruto's limp cock, causing Naruto to shudder slightly.

"You came so nicely. I got so hard watching you."

Naruto bit his bottom lip and licked at it, as he so frequently did when he was aroused but didn't want to verbalize it.

"It's all  _your_  fault."

"'Course. You never  _could_  resist me."

Sasuke snickered at Naruto's audacity.

"So it's your responsibility to fix this."

"I would, Sasuke. But I'm a little  _tied up_  here."

Naruto laughed at his own joke for a few seconds while Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"There are ways around that."

The bed shifted again. He felt Sasuke's weight depress the bed near his head. Smooth, moist, hard skin slipped against Naruto's lower lip. Naruto's breath caught. Was this…? The organ bounced, the entire head slicking against Naruto's lips. Naruto moaned at the realization.

"Suck it."

Naruto shifted himself backwards in bed with his legs so that his head was propped up by the pillow, saving his neck some pain. Naruto's mouth searched for Sasuke's cock, which Sasuke led directly into it.

"That's good. Suck at the head. Do it hard. Run your tongue along the cleft."

Naruto moaned in agreement against the flesh in his mouth, obeying perfectly. Sasuke was swollen, hard, and he needed it.

"Now take me back far. Take as much of me as you can."

Naruto sucked, bobbing his head back as the tip of Sasuke's cock hammered against the back of his mouth. His eyes brimmed with tears, which were quickly absorbed by the dampened scarf. He went fast, as fast as he could, and Sasuke met Naruto's mouth with his own thrusts.

"Fuck…" Sasuke panted out.

Naruto could hear Sasuke panting, rasping, unsuccessfully holding back a low and quiet moan. As composed as Sasuke had been throughout this entire exchange, Naruto  _longed_  to hear him come undone. So he wouldn't hold back. He moved fast, hard, entirely sure of himself.

"Good… Shit…"

Naruto, of course, could not respond, other than an enthusiastic moan.

"I'm gonna cum, Naruto. Take it."

Naruto felt the bed began to shake. He knew Sasuke was trembling, knew that he was just on the brink. Sasuke's cock just barely slipped out of his mouth, the warm cum falling mostly into his mouth but also splattering his lip, his chin, and his cheek.

Sasuke hummed in appreciation, lewdly looking Naruto from the top down. Naruto blushed darkly, humiliated, unable to clean himself. There wasn't anything he could do about it. He couldn't even hide his face from Sasuke. He was under Sasuke's control, still.

"You're getting hard all over again, Naruto."

Sasuke was right. And as Sasuke brought attention to it, the treasonous organ only grew more defiant. He felt his erection grow again.

"You like it, don't you? You like being covered in my seed, blindfolded, bound, exposed…"

Naruto was beginning to pant, rubbing his legs against each other in a futile attempt for stimulation.

"Yes…"

"Do you want more?"

"God yes!"

And now Naruto felt Sasuke's strong hands twist his body over onto his stomach, then pull his ass up so that he was on his knees. His hands still useless and tied behind his back, all of Naruto's weight went into his calves and his face, which was muffled by the sheets. Sasuke quickly moved the bedding away from Naruto's airways so that he'd be able to breathe, causing Naruto to take in a deep breath as a dab of cum trickled down his lip. This was fortunate, though as good as Naruto was feeling, he'd be just fine going out like this.

He heard a bottle shaking, and a squirting sound. Lube? It had to be. Whatever the case, the question was answered as Sasuke's pointer finger quickly inserted itself into Naruto's pucker. Naruto didn't bother to restrain his moan as he was finally penetrated. After all that had happened, after as hard as he'd cum, it felt strange to know that never once had Sasuke ever ventured inside. The only thing he'd gotten was a blow job, and he already felt  _this_  good? Christ, if Sasuke were to fuck him now, how could he even handle the pleasure? He was liable to black out.

Naruto pushed himself back against Sasuke's finger, glad for the lube. But it wasn't enough. It wasn't  _nearly_  enough.

"More…"

Sasuke said nothing, keeping the same pace. Bastard… Naruto knew just what he wanted to hear.

"Please! More!"

Sasuke added his third finger, both of them pumping now. Naruto felt his insides clench around it as he created friction at his own will. Sasuke let him, because he knew that he was the one in control here.

"I love seeing you desperate," Sasuke smirked.

Naruto didn't even protest. He just thrust against Sasuke, moaning, whimpering.

"More! More!"

Three fingers, and Sasuke moved fast, wriggled the joints inside of Naruto, readied him.

"I'm loving this almost as much as you are."

Sasuke removed his fingers, Naruto's pucker clenching mournfully at the absence.

"See how hard I am for you?"

As Sasuke brushed the head of his lubed cock against Naruto's entrance, Naruto went completely still. He stopped breathing. Sasuke was hard again. That meant… Naruto's mind was frozen, for a moment too overwhelmed and aroused to even move, or beg, or do anything. But that didn't last for long.

"S-Sasuke…"

His dick pressed against Naruto, but it didn't enter, teasing him. He wondered how the hell Sasuke even had that much restraint.

"Please…"

He was breathing now through what room he had, his cheek pressed on the sheets.

"What was that again?"

No one could rule over him like this. He wouldn't allow it. He was Uzumaki Naruto, and no one would tell him what to do. But he found that conviction thoroughly lacking right now as he lay before Sasuke, bound and desperately,  _desperately_  willing. Who else could have ever gotten him to this point?

"Please, please fuck me! God, I need it so much I can't bear it. I need you! I…"

He was begging for Sasuke like a drowning man begs for oxygen. Before he could finish speaking, Sasuke's cock was inside him into the very hilt. Naruto's body was so willing, even more relaxed than it had been the last (and only other) time. This was Sasuke's second time fucking Naruto, and it was most  _certainly_  something he'd come to love.

And he loved that he didn't have to be delicate. He loved what Naruto's body could withstand, and how far Naruto was willing to go when he defied him. Perhaps, because of all of these things, he loved it the most when Naruto would submit to him like this. It was an honor, though Sasuke would never admit this.

The bed creaked loudly as Naruto's face pushed into it with each of Sasuke's savage thrusts. Naruto moaned, wailed, begged... Their breaths both rasped simultaneously, their bodies clapping together as Sasuke forced himself so deep inside his lover again and again. He was pounding into Naruto, as the blond had so graciously requested, filling every part of him. And Naruto… His face was bright red, his entire body flushed. Sasuke gave Naruto's asscheek a firm slap.

"Yes!"

The bed frame slammed against the wall. Sasuke was sure they could be heard throughout the entire house.

"So tight… So good… God, Naruto…"

Naruto could only hear Sasuke, his face crammed down in the sheets. Naruto had lost all dignity, unable to even use his hands to support himself, cum still speckled on his blindfolded face. But as he had said before, he trusted Sasuke. So he let himself go, just like Sasuke had told him to.

"Oh god…god… I'm cumming Sasuke."

Sasuke moaned as Naruto's insides clenched him so roughly, the orgasm wracking through Naruto's body as he screamed out, exactly as Sasuke promised he'd make him do. His entire body shook as he came so hard into the sheets, his face bright red, his bound hands balled into whitened fists right next to each other. And Sasuke…

Watching this was enough to nearly kill him. He was so immeasurably glad at the moment that he wasn't the one with the blindfold on. He burned the sight into his memory, never wanting to forget how sinfully beautiful and beautifully sinful Naruto looked in that very moment. He was smiling so wide that half of his molars were revealed, his pleasure so apparent until he finished releasing, his body then failing him. Sasuke held him upright, thrusting for several more seconds until he was finally able to near his own climax. Naruto only needed to hang in there for a little longer…

"Fuck… I'm there…"

And the orgasm tore through him, filling Naruto deep, causing Naruto to mewl. Several more spurts came, and Sasuke allowed himself to let go when he moaned, feeling all the latent emotions inside of him exhaust themselves in this almost unbearably intense burst of pleasure. His lips curved upwards, just slightly, mouth hanging open, head tilted back, eyes clamped shut, knowing no one could see him. He was panting, cum seeping out of Naruto's ass as he withdrew.

Sasuke fell to the bed, and Naruto collapsed, quietly purring and breathing in deeply. Naruto didn't have the strength to move, feeling like his was blissfully floating in a foreign universe. Sasuke was resting on his back, as Naruto was on his side, facing Sasuke. Sasuke placed his hand over his eyes, panting, regaining his breath. He glanced at Naruto, who still appeared to be out for the count. He untied Naruto's arms, a red indent from the denim fabric left behind. Sasuke massaged the indent with his thumb as he placed Naruto’s arms down on the bed.

Naruto moved his hands to his front and began rubbing absent-mindedly at his sore wrists. A second afterward, Sasuke lifted the blindfold off of Naruto's head. This roused Naruto just enough so that he was able to process reality again, and Sasuke's face was the first thing that he saw as he returned to full consciousness. His pale cheeks were flushed, and ordinarily so well-kept hair was askew. He didn't look nearly as composed as Naruto had imagined him to be, and Naruto took pride in that.

"Welcome back," Sasuke said, smiling lightly at Naruto.

Naruto quickly moved forward and kissed Sasuke, slowly, deeply, his calloused hand against Sasuke's cheek. Sasuke wrapped his arm around Naruto, who scooted up to Sasuke and rested his head on Sasuke's chest.

They held each other, knowing that things would change. But they both ignored that, only holding the other that much more closely, as if they could be ripped apart in an instant. A thorough exhaustion took them, enjoying each other's presence and quietly fluctuating between light slumber and wakefulness. If only, Sasuke thought, it could be like this forever.

 


	44. Chapter 44

The explosion of activity that day in the cafeteria had given way to peace. As busy as he'd been the past few months, Sasuke felt strange having so little to attend to. His school had left him hardly any schoolwork to catch up on during his suspension, and he wasn’t selling anymore either. This did, however, leave plenty of time for thought.

He'd called Juugo's cell phone three times in the first thirty hours and left one message. He could call the landline and probably get in touch with his parents, but Sasuke didn't want to be invasive. In the next day that passed, he refrained from contacting Juugo, but he was uncharacteristically relieved when Suigetsu called after school to invite Sasuke to lunch.

"I still can't believe they suspended you," Karin sighed.

What better place to catch up on the last four days' occurrences than In N Out? The restaurant was packed, the raucous din of surrounding customers granting them privacy. Sasuke bit into his burger: no cheese, extra lettuce and tomatoes. Artery clogging and fattening, but totally worth it. If only Naruto could have been here to enjoy this. Even if he could have been introduced to Sasuke's friends, he was currently at work at the labor center.

"Just protocol. I'm not in any real trouble."

Suigetsu shook his head, grabbing a fry out of the cheesy, gooey monstrosity the three of them were sharing. He wiggled the fry to separate it from the tenacious cheese.

"That's such bullshit. It was so obvious that you were just trying to save Kabuto's ass."

"Yeah!" Karin maintained angrily. "And if the teachers had actually been doing their  _jobs_  and had restrained Juugo, then you wouldn't have had to risk your ass by stepping in at all."

Sasuke took a sip of his water.

"They should be thanking you! You could've really gotten hurt!"

Sasuke remembered how frightened Karin looked when Sasuke stepped in front of Juugo. He was sure that this was the very last position anyone in the room would've wanted to take. Karin could act so fucking stupid when she was infatuated with Sasuke. Sasuke  _knew_  she was a bright girl, which was partially why it annoyed him so much. But whatever she felt for Sasuke didn't stop at infatuation. He knew that now.

"It's not that big of a deal," Sasuke answered coolly. "Compared to the last time I got suspended, the teachers are hardly assigning me any work. It's basically a mandatory vacation. No one  _wanted_  to suspend me."

"Whatever, dude," Suigetsu answered, sighing with burger in his mouth. "It's the principle of it. 'S not right."

Sasuke shrugged. The principle of it did irk him, honestly. His school was punishing him for doing something that could have saved it from some horrible press and a nasty lawsuit. But no one wanted to put their asses on the line, and in all practicality, as Sasuke had said, it really was not that big of a deal. He certainly could use the sleep, and his body was thanking him fervently for the recharge.

Really, it was improving everything. He had truly needed this "mandatory vacation." He caught up on sleep, had more time with Naruto, worked ahead in school, and got more chances to visit Itachi in the hospital. He noticed that his emotional state was improving as well. Cutting his psychiatric medication in the last month had been a bad idea, but did he have any other choice?

He ran out of refills. In all of Itachi's stress, he had forgotten to ensure that Sasuke saw his doctor for a new script. And Sasuke, knowing that most of it would probably come from their own pockets, didn't press matters. He wondered if that could have played in to some of the decisions he had been making, but his body was exiting withdrawal stages now.

Besides, he'd already been tapered down to a much lower dose over the past several months. He knew that Post-traumatic Stress Disorder could be temporary, so he wondered if he'd even need it again.

"How long do they have you out?" Suigetsu asked.

"They're suspending me until break, so I won't be back to school until January."

He supposed they figured it would be neat and easy. Break was about two weeks long anyhow, so why not just send him back with everyone else? Sasuke was grateful for this. Hopefully people would have at least partially tamed their curiosity by then.

"Holy shit."

"At least it saves me all the gossip," Sasuke answered, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah…" Karin answered uncertainly.

Sasuke glanced over at her, an unspoken request for an explanation.

"People are…" Karin stated.

Suigetsu crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.

"They think our group is crazy. They think you're a badass, Sasuke, but they think you're dangerous and involved in bad things. And they're  _terrified_  of Juugo, and some are even a little scared of you. There are all these crazy backstories…"

Sasuke nodded. He could kind of see why his classmates might be terrified of Juugo, after what they'd all seen. They didn't know the side of Juugo that Sasuke, Karin, and Suigetsu did. Not only did Juugo keep company with Kabuto, who was known as one of the most well-connected, mysterious, and hazardous members of the student body, but he had also put said man in the hospital in front of every last one of them. Kabuto hadn't even stood a chance. They watched a massive explosion of rage that left even Sasuke speechless. Of course, the rumor mill wouldn't just stop with the truth.

Sugietsu laughed, "Oh, get this, get this. Some of them are saying that Juugo does crack in the bathroom and that he stabbed his dad."

Sasuke pursed his lips, staring downwards. The rumors made him angry. Juugo didn't deserve that sort of thing. He didn’t give a shit what the student body was saying about him now, about his brother, his family… Maybe Sasuke didn't care what people thought about him, but Juugo… Sasuke was one of the few people who knew how insecure Juugo could get. Suigetsu was obviously just amused by the extent of their classmates' idiocy, but Sasuke couldn't bring himself to find anything funny in the situation.

"Those idiots will believe anything," Karin commented with an eye roll.

"They're maggots," Sasuke said quietly but venomously. "I don't want to discuss them anymore."

The other two stopped eating momentarily to look over at Sasuke, distracted by his abrupt change in tone. Such anger in Sasuke’s voice had been common months ago, as he’d frequently exacted his rage on whichever target. But now that tone was beginning to sound foreign again.

"Okay, Sasuke," Karin answered, taken aback.

The three continued to eat for a while in a questionably awkward silence.

"So, have you heard anything from Juugo?" Suigetsu asked Sasuke.

"Nothing yet. I left a message on his cell though."

"Yeah, Suigetsu and I both tried calling him too, but he didn't pick up," Karin remarked, sounding a little worried.

"Hm…" Sasuke stated, trailing off as he fished a drier fry out of the tray. The fact that Karin and Suigetsu hadn't heard from Juugo didn't come as a shock. Sasuke knew that of the three of them, he was definitely the one Juugo would contact first. Still, it didn't sit well with him.

"Has Kabuto reared his ugly head yet?"

"Not yet," Karin answered. "We figured he's either in the hospital or recovering at home."

"So, I take it you guys aren't dealing with him anymore?"

Suigetsu emitted a sheepish "heh", and Karin crossed her arms and looked off in the opposite direction. Sasuke took that as a no.

"You're serious, Suigetsu?" Sasuke asked, his tone wordlessly inquiring "can you really be this stupid?"

"I know, I know. Kabuto's an asshole. But he's saying he's gonna give me and Karin trouble if I don't go through this with him."

"Big surprise," Sasuke answered, rolling his eyes.

"So seriously, just this one time. I'll make lots of money off of it too, and then I won't deal with him anymore."

"He's told me the same shit, Suigetsu. I turned him down, and yet here I magically am."

"Yeah, because Juugo beat the shit out of Kabuto for you," Suigetsu contended. "You still don't know what Kabuto would've done if that hadn't happened."

This was true, of course. Sasuke had called Kabuto's bluff, but it had been a risk. Even now, Sasuke wasn't sure he was safe.

"So what will you do when you go through with this, and he puts you under the same conditions?"

"He told me he wouldn't."

Sasuke stared at Suigetsu flatly, feeling that no words were necessary. That just might force Suigetsu to think about what he said and realize how profoundly idiotic it was.

"But if he tries, I'll tell him he's lost his credibility and turn him down, face the music. I just don't want any trouble."

"Strange words coming from someone about to break into a house," Sasuke muttered under his breath so that none of the other diners could hear.

"Look…  _I_  can take chances. I just don't want…" Suigetsu was glancing over at Karin now. "You know…"

Sasuke didn't know whether Suigetsu was using Karin as an excuse or not. He did, however, know that Suigetsu was legitimately protective of Karin. Karin had tried to interfere when Juugo had flown into a rage, and Suigetsu had quickly pulled her away, stepping forward to the task instead. You'd be more likely to find this couple whacking each other over the head or fiercely making out than you would be to find them in any sort of tender moment.

"What exactly are you expecting him to do to the two of you?"

"He's not gonna budge, Sasuke. I  _tried_ ," Karin sighed theatrically. " _Believe_  me."

"Whatever," Sasuke stated, shaking his head. "Don't say we didn't warn you."

The three of them shrugged it off, making small talk until they finished their food. Sasuke returned home. Naruto was still at the labor center. Again, he found his busy hands unoccupied. This didn't suit him, so he read ahead for spring semester and mowed one of his neighbor's lawns.

Sasuke scrubbed at the light layer of green on his shoes and took a shower. His house was empty, and oddly enough, that felt strange. He couldn't imagine telling himself that this would ever be the case when they moved into this building. The past year, the place was little more than a hotel to him. The sound of another's footsteps, or a TV show that he wasn't watching, was a marked departure from the norm. But now the silence was so unfamiliar.

Sasuke lay in bed, again, alone. He didn't mind it all that much, at least not for the time being. Would this be what it was like when Naruto left? Sasuke's room looked as if Naruto had never been there at all, other than the bag of Skittles on the desk. Sasuke didn't mind this currently. A little space was good for them both, and he'd honestly missed solitude. But he didn't want to think about the possibility of solitude, once again, becoming the norm.

He opened a Sudoku game on his phone, expert difficulty, tinkering away at it as his harddrive quietly defragged on the other side of his room. Sasuke could've sworn his computer had somehow been swamped with some  _nasty_  malware… Naruto had probably been looking up porn on incognito mode, that dumbass. At this point, Sasuke could only defrag and pray. Rock music was gently playing through his room, one of Naruto's favorite songs. He was mercifully spared Naruto's singing.

His cell phone rang, now a slow and lazy tune from a band called Mother Mother clashing with his radio. Sasuke grabbed the phone and saw an unfamiliar number on the call ID. Normally, he wouldn't have answered this. However, there were plenty of people he needed to hear from. He turned the radio off.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Sasuke."

Sasuke sat up in bed at the familiar voice, holding the phone to his ear. His eagerness didn't allow him to have this conversation lying down, and he felt his heartbeat quicken, just slightly. Had he been more concerned than he'd realized?

"Hey, Juugo."

"So… How's life?" Juugo ambled awkwardly.

"Fine," Sasuke answered, refraining from teasing him for his awkwardness.

He didn't want to press Juugo. Of course, the questions were obvious. What had happened to Juugo that day? What kind of trouble was he in? When would he be coming back to school? Would he  _ever_  come back to school? Where was he? Yet Sasuke could handle a mundane conversation, even in the midst of all of these unknowns, if it was what Juugo wanted.

"So… I know you must have a lot of questions…"

"You only have to answer one."

"Anything."

"You're going to be okay now, right?" Sasuke asked uncertainly.

"I'm fine," Juugo told Sasuke, and Sasuke could hear the smile in his voice over the receiver.

"You had me worried, you fucking asshole," Sasuke chided, feeling torn between giving Juugo a pat on the back and punching him in the face yet again.

"Oh, I've gotten the great Uchiha Sasuke to  _worry_?"

Despite that remark, Sasuke knew that Juugo would never leave him hanging like this if he could help it.

"Whatever, wiseass. Why didn't you call me back?"

Sasuke heard a few people talking in the background as Juugo went silent.

"I've…been a little…" Juugo sighed, evidently rethinking his approach. "Sasuke, I'm in the hospital."

Sasuke held the phone a couple inches from his ear, regarding it incredulously. He was sitting up in bed now fully.

"Please tell me you're fucking with me."

"I wish I were. But again, the point is that I'm fine."

"What's wrong with you?" Sasuke asked bluntly, never one for finesse in such situations.

Juugo chuckled quietly at Sasuke's lack of manners.

"It's not… The normal part of the hospital."

"Hm?"

"It's…the part for uh… You know…"

Juugo stumbled along. Sasuke would've stepped in for him, but he had no idea where Juugo was going with this.

"The crazies," Juugo admitted with a sigh.

Sasuke bit his cheek, and his eyes drifted downwards onto his comforter. He remembered the way Juugo trembled after he'd beaten Kabuto and the look of pure confusion on his face. Even still, Sasuke could see suspension over that. Court dates, even expulsion. But this?

"They have you in a psych ward?" asked disbelievingly.

"Yup."

"Why?" Sasuke inquired instinctively. He paused, remembering that he was, again, trying to respect Juugo's privacy. "You don't have to answer that."

"That's…kind of a loaded question."

"Fair."

"They took me there right after the fight. It's more a…"

That answered something for Sasuke, at least. Juugo hadn't done anything worse after he was done with Kabuto. Still, this made even less sense to him. Why would this be the school's first resort?

"Look, Sasuke… I really want to explain this to you, but…" Juugo's voice descended to a hurried whisper, forcing Sasuke to cram his ear against the receiver. "There's this patient behind me right now with  _horrible_  B.O., and he keeps staring at me. This is really fucking awkward, so I'm just gonna go."

Despite everything, Sasuke smirked.

"Alright, just check in with me later."

"Hey, Sasuke…"

"Hm?"

"I hate to ask you to…associate with me in a place like this, or even bring you here… But I might be here a while, and my parents hog up my entire visiting hour every day since they only let in two people at the same time. For once, they have to leave at 6 today, and hours are 5:30 to 6:30. If you wanted to…for once there would be an opportunity to…"

"Juugo."

"Yeah?"

"You seriously think I give a fuck about where I'm visiting you? Yeah, I'll be there. 6 even?"

Juugo sighed in relief. Juugo had known Sasuke would be cool about this, that he wouldn't try to brutally extract information from him, demand explanations, or worse, forsake him completely. Still, his mind had kept imagining worst case scenarios. Who would want to hang out with a nut like him?

"Yeah, Las Haciendas. Adult ward, 2 south. See ya."

"See ya."

After Sasuke hung up his phone, he allowed himself to settle back in his bed, letting out a prolonged sigh. So, Juugo was in a psych ward? And an adult ward, to make matters worse. Sasuke had hoped that since Juugo was only eighteen, they would have grouped him with the adolescents. However, given the reason he was there to begin with and his massive size, Sasuke supposed he could respect the decision.

He hated the idea of Juugo being stuck there. He didn't know much about psych wards. He'd seen them on TV and the movies though. It didn't exactly seem like an island resort to him. It had taken some discipline on his part not to press Juugo for answers. Sasuke was normally wonderful when it came to respecting privacy, but this was a situation that begged for a resolution. Most of it, really, was just that Sasuke was worried. That, and he felt like perhaps he didn't know his friend nearly as well as he thought he did. What exactly could have been wrong with Juugo for them to have sent him to such a place?

"There are some elements involved in this situation that you are unaware of," Principal Sarutobi had told Sasuke the day of the fight. Was this what the old man had been talking about?

Sasuke glanced at his phone. It was 5:02, so he had about thirty minutes to get himself to the bus stop. He sprawled a note out for Naruto that he was going to visit Itachi in the hospital. It was true, technically; Sasuke preferred to go over the details with Naruto in person.

All he had to do after visiting Juugo was to walk just down the street to reach Itachi's room. By the time Juugo's visiting hours were over, the Colbert Report should be about to play. He'd watch it with Itachi and keep him some company.

On the bus, Sasuke wondered what exactly awaited him. Was he going to find out the meaning behind Principal Sarutobi's vague references? What had Juugo wanted to tell him? What was he going to find out about his friend? As his mind sifted over that subject matter, he also found himself curious in a more general sense. What did the inside of a psych ward even look like? What would the other patients be like?

He walked into the appropriate building. 2 south… He boarded the elevator and got off at the second floor, asking for directions to the ward. It was almost 6 exactly. He was intercepted, however, by a familiar pair of adults. Juugo's mother, a thin woman with graying red hair and yoga pants, quickly ran over to Sasuke and hugged him tightly before he had a chance to say anything. Sasuke didn't hug back, but he didn't exactly resist.

"Sasuke! It's been so long since I've seen you!"

Juugo's father, a tall and overpowering Irish man with bright green eyes by the name of Kou, stood beside them. He rolled his eyes at his wife's over exuberance and waved at Sasuke over his wife's shoulder.

"Thank you, Sasuke. Thank you so much from saving my little boy from getting ahead of himself," Juugo's mother told him, her voice cracking now.

As Sasuke had known, the idea of Juugo's parents pressing charges against him was preposterous. It sounded funny to hear  _anyone_  call Juugo a "little boy." The man was enormous, but he supposed, to Aiko, Juugo would always be her little boy. Despite how nauseating it was, a part of Sasuke felt a little jealous as he remembered his own mother. Considering where Juugo was right now, however, Sasuke couldn't allow the feeling too much reign.

Aiko parted from Sasuke, smiling at him with tears in her eyes.

"Don't mention it."

"How have things been, dear?" she said with concerned eyes, both of her hands on Sasuke's shoulders now. "How has the last year been treating you?"

"Don't overwhelm the kid," Juugo's father piped up. "Hey Sasuke, how ya doin?"

"Fine. You guys?"

Probably a stupid question, considering. But how else would he respond to such a typical prompt?

"Hanging in there," Kou mumbled.

"You know, a mother has to worry. It's in the job description," Aiko added with a slight chuckle. "Juugo had been doing so well for such a while. I never thought…"

"Aiko…" Kou interrupted, staring at his wife firmly.

Sasuke couldn't help but look confused. "For such a while"? Meaning that something had happened in the past? But Sasuke assumed that Kou saw the information as Juugo's, to disclose as he saw fit. Aiko, as much as she'd always adored Sasuke, had a nasty tendency to tell Sasuke a little too much at times.

"Right… Well, we have to get going. We won't keep you from Juugo."

"Okay. Bye."

Juugo's dad pat Sasuke on the shoulder.

"Later, kiddo."

Aiko gave Sasuke another one of her bone-crunchingly genuine hugs. How could such a small woman muster up so much strength?

"Bye bye, Sasuke. Don't be a stranger. I miss having you around the house!"

Sasuke gave her a light smile, waving at Juugo's parents as they walked past him. He turned towards the door Juugo's parents had walked from. The walls were white, and the carpet was a dark grey. He reached a desk with a small speaker system attached.

"I'm here for visiting hours."

A young pony-tailed nurse addressed Sasuke.

"Patient?"

"Tenbin Juugo."

"Just a moment."

The nurse disappeared for a couple minutes, then returned to her desk. The door buzzed.

"Alright, come in."

Sasuke opened the door. It was heavy and thick as he swung it back. When he opened the door, he came into a short hallway. The walls, again, were stark white, the floor the same dull color of grey. Sasuke passed through the hallway, the nurse coming again to meet him. She guided him through the empty hallway and entered the closest room on their right.

The room had tiled floors, with several large windows taking up the west wall and looking down at a basketball court. They fully illuminated the room, the ceiling lights currently useless. Sasuke squinted to notice that these windows were covered with a firm wire mesh. There was a wall on the opposite side of the room labeled The Wall of Hope, which what appeared to have drawings and multi-colored letters tacked upon it.

Patients were quietly talking to each other, some laughing, some reading. A couple nurses socialized by the door. There were several large rectangular tables, bolted to the ground along with their chairs. Four patients were playing cards in a corner, while another sat with his back to them, slowly rocking back and forth and making a low whistling noise. Some of the patients looked a little…off, sure. But it wasn't as horrible as what he'd imagined. Despite the fact that Sasuke knew that this most certainly wasn't all there was to this place, he was at least glad for this.

It didn't take long for Sasuke to spot Juugo, sitting right by the window with his head propped up by his hand. He was lazily watching birds twitter outside the window, a serene expression on his face. Sasuke looked at him for just a couple seconds to mentally prepare himself before moving forward, Juugo still unaware of his presence.

"Hey, Juugo," Sasuke stated quietly, taking a seat across from Juugo, his face half obscured as he stared out the window. A patient sat behind Sasuke, loudly tapping their feet as they read a magazine.

"Hey, Sasuke."

Juugo continued to watch the birds for several seconds, during which Sasuke felt far more awkward than he would during most situations. What was there to say in a situation like this, anyhow? After everything that had happened in that cafeteria? And with Juugo stuck here? But really, he was just glad to be seeing Juugo again.

Sasuke figured he'd join Juugo, staring out towards the basketball court, which was surrounded by a wall which couldn't have been any shorter than thirty feet. The sun was beginning to set, the clouds becoming a light pink.

"I suppose there comes a time in every friendship…" Juugo stated, interrupting the silence as he turned his face to Sasuke, revealing a big, swollen black eye on the opposite side of his face, "When you profusely thank your friend for punching you in the face."

"Holy shit…" Sasuke answered, a slight chuckle in his voice. He'd not meant to hurt Juugo, and given Juugo's dazed reaction, he never suspected he had. But this dry joke between them was keeping the mood lighter, and Sasuke was appreciative.

"Yeah, you  _really_  clocked me."

Sasuke shook his head, feeling the slightest bit guilty.

"Fuck, I didn't know I got you  _that_  bad."

Juugo shook his head.

"No, you should feel proud of yourself. You know the guys in football practice couldn't land a hit like this if they tried. They could hardly get a scratch on me!"

"Lucky shot," Sasuke shrugged.

It  _was_  lucky, in a sense. Sasuke would have never been able to land such a punch if Juugo hadn't been so distracted, or if he'd been aware of Sasuke's presence  _at all_  for that matter. Sasuke found it odd, temporarily, that Juugo was congratulating him for punching him in the face and complimenting his technique.

"Modesty isn't your strong suit, Sasuke. Don't force it."

"I'm not being modest," Sasuke replied stubbornly.

"I guess I don't have to worry about you defending yourself while I'm gone. I'm relieved."

Sasuke looked over at Juugo's impressive shiner again, the other's red hair gleaming brightly in the sunlight. He seemed so surprisingly calm and even content considering his situation. Sasuke couldn't help but smile, just slightly, as well. Another long silence between them.

"Did you run into my parents on the way in?"

"Yeah."

"Did they tell you anything?"

"Not really."

"Has anyone?"

"No," Sasuke answered, feeling rather in the dark involved in the whole situation, in Juugo's life.  _Why_  had he assumed he'd been the only one with something to hide? And why did it seem like everyone knew about this but him?

Juugo seemed to oscillate between relief that his privacy had been respected and discomfort, as he now was tasked with explaining. And he  _did_  want to explain. If anyone, Sasuke had a right to know. Juugo took a moment to compose himself, and Sasuke waited patiently.

"I got something…" Juugo referenced, pointing to his head. "It's not right with me."

"Hm?" Sasuke prompted. He already realized this, to an extent. The way that Juugo had snapped in school… It hadn't been… _normal_. Something was amiss, but Sasuke had hopefully chalked it up to anger management issues or something.

"I haven't…had an episode in a really long time."

Sasuke perked a brow, glancing at Juugo inquisitively.

"An episode?"

Juugo sighed, nodding.

"When I was a little kid, I used to have these…really crazy outbursts. I'd just fly into a rage from almost out of nowhere. I could be triggered at the drop of a hat, and then I'd forget almost all of it until I'd snap to and suddenly…yeah, you get the idea."

The dots connected. Sarutobi’s words made sense to him now. He recalled what Aiko had said a few minutes ago. Something about it having been a long time…

"But you haven't done that in a while, right? They've been treating you for it or something?"

"Yeah, it's been years. In terms of treatment… Like I told you earlier, my mom got spooked."

Sasuke tilted his head to the side.

"Wasn't that for your dyslexia though?"

"That was only part of the story."

And here Sasuke assumed that Juugo had been bearing his soul. Juugo had been holding back, even then? The confusion on Sasuke's face was evident, so Juugo continued.

"My parents wanted to ignore it at first, trust me. They don't like…that sort of thing, doctors and psychiatrists and all that. They like to do things more 'naturally.'"

Juugo rolled his eyes.

"Yoga and moon rocks?"

"Don't forget ridiculously overpriced gingko biloba smoothies," Juugo grinned mildly.

Sasuke smirked, imagining too well all of the "remedies" Aiko might have brewed up for her son.

"It wasn't a  _huge_  deal at first, even though it happened often, because I was a little kid. But I was always bigger than the other kids. And as I got older, I got stronger…more violent… Not to mention that my grades sucked. It got to the point where my parents couldn't ignore it anymore. So they took me in when I was about thirteen. They did this huge workup on me. Figured they'd test me for every possible thing under the sun, because no one could explain what was happening to me."

"And did they figure it out?"

Juugo shook his head.

"They never did. They knew for sure I was dyslexic, at least, and that I had some other learning and mental problems. But as far as the outbursts… They  _tried_  to diagnose it. First they said Bipolar, then something called…Intermittent Explosive Disorder, then they even wondered if somehow I'd had some brain damage because my mom had so much trouble conceiving and all. It might explain all my learning disorders, and maybe they figured I'd fucked up my prefrontal cortex, which accounts for all the crazy. So you know, in the end maybe I'm just brain damaged or something. Crazy and dumb all in one go. Some luck, eh?"

"Juugo…" Sasuke prodded firmly. "I know something's up with you, but I'm not gonna sit here and listen to you keep calling yourself stupid and crazy. That's bullshit."

"But..." Juugo frowned. "Sorry. I do trust your judgment and all… But I think you'd agree with me if you knew the full story."

"Doubtful."

"Look… What happened… When I had that workup, they put me on a whole bunch of meds. That's what I was telling you about on the swings. And what happened after that…"

Sasuke glanced up.

"A lot of people got hurt. Bones got broken, but my memory's totally blank. I don't know the details. Shit, I don't  _want_  to know the details. After that, they put me in a ward for a solid month."

So, Juugo had been in a place like this before? And for so long? This must have been why putting Juugo here was the first response; it was precedented. Knowing Juugo, Sasuke figured he discounted the medication's influence on that outburst and chalked it all up to his own instability.

Yet Sasuke remembered when he'd first been placed on medication. They'd started him at a high dose and gave him three different medications. Maybe they saw his situation as urgent, considering the way Sasuke had acted out, the panic attacks, and what he'd seen happen to his parents. But he'd sit in his room, glassy eyed, watching the walls expand and shrink as he hallucinated, sometimes scrolling over those few crucial text messages from his mother and just staring into the night. Fortunately, this didn't last long, but Sasuke knew how powerful these drugs could be.

Still, Sasuke didn't know if he'd ever even heard of someone having such a strong reaction to medication, even considering Juugo's prior condition. He couldn't completely blame Aiko for being so reluctant to treat Juugo. Of course they wouldn't want to risk sending their son back to a place like that again.

"Shit luck, to have that horrible of a reaction."

"Yeah, it was…something else. As you can imagine, the kids there were terrified of me after that. Thank god I didn't have to go back there."

"You left?"

"Yeah. They expelled me. My folks moved to the other side of town and started me up at Konoha the next year."

"But apparently you got things decently under control. You've at least been able to go to Konoha without incident until now, correct?"

Juugo nodded slowly.

"Yeah. They started me in football once I started Konoha…figured it'd channel some aggression I guess. But then as I got older, I was better able to control myself. Weed certainly didn't hurt matters either," Juugo remarked with a smirk. "Then I met you."

Sasuke tilted his head at Juugo curiously. Something about the inflection in that last sentence caught Sasuke's attention.

"You've always had this…weird way of calming me. I'm sorry, I know that sounds creepy."

"Not particularly," Sasuke frowned. "I might say the same about you."

It was true, the way Juugo's steady, calm disposition seemed to affect Sasuke. This was especially true after the fire, when so much anger and anxiety brewed silently beneath Sasuke's nonchalant exterior. Sasuke caught Juugo's eyes briefly as the redhead smiled, the Uchiha quickly staring out the window again as the sun lowered in the sky.

"So… Why now?"

Juugo shook his head and chuckled, "If that isn't the million dollar question…"

"Is it random?"

"Yes," Juugo stated, pausing before correcting himself. "Well, no, not entirely. I mean I think I felt it coming. I've felt like I was on the brink of something for months. And in this case, there was  _some_  trigger."

Sasuke could only imagine how alarming that must have been, for someone with Juugo's history.

"Did you tell your folks?"

"Yeah, but… They bought me a bunch of yoga and meditation DVDs. Heh, they even gave me an eighth one night."

Juugo laughed, and Sasuke smiled crookedly. It blew Sasuke's mind sometimes how different his family had been from Juugo's.

"They were nice and all, but other than that, they told me to try to ignore it."

Sasuke remembered sitting with Juugo at the playground, Juugo's expression fitful and contemplative. And that's when Juugo had told him.

_"It's just… Hard to explain, it's like something I don't get is building up. I just feel like I need…to do something like this, something out there. I don't know why."_

Sasuke figured Juugo had some low grade version of his own emotional troubles. What adolescent didn't feel that way sometimes, though? Sasuke had a special situation here. Juugo was just an ordinary teenager.

 _"It won't go away,"_ Juugo had insisted anxiously.

_"Ignore it."_

That's right. Juugo had  _tried_  to tell him. But Sasuke had dismissed him. Sasuke inwardly winced at his choice in wording, realizing that this was most certainly not the first time someone had told Juugo to "ignore it." He'd heard it from his parents enough, but Sasuke was Juugo's friend. He was the one that Juugo had come to for understanding, realizing that Sasuke was going through something similar. Sasuke was supposed to have his back in these situations, but he gave Juugo the same response he'd been hearing everywhere else.

He wished he could have thought to himself "if only I had seen the signs." "If only he'd told me, I could've done something." But no, Sasuke  _had_  been told. And he blew Juugo off, although he wasn't even aware he'd done it.

Juugo couldn't have _real_  problems. Only people like Sasuke had real problems. Juugo had two supportive parents who treated him wonderfully, spent tons of time with him, and loved him unconditionally. He didn't have to worry about his folks missing the bills and was always well fed. He had a car and friends and always seemed content. How could someone like that have  _real_  problems?

And then Sasuke remembered the frustrated way Juugo had looked at him.

_"But…"_

Why hadn't Sasuke prompted him? "But what? What's wrong?" Why hadn't he said that? If he could have gone back in time and changed his attitude, he would've. He would've smacked himself over the head and told himself to stop being such a damned narcissist for once. He remembered his words clearly now, and he just realized now how dismissive he'd been.

And ultimately, the topic ended with a sigh and a defeated "never mind" from Juugo. Sasuke stared downwards, realizing how egocentrically he'd acted.

"Sasuke, you still there?" Juugo asked, lowering his face to Sasuke's level with a playful brow arch.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

 _Why_  hadn't he taken Juugo seriously?

"I know it's a lot to take in. I understand if…ya don't hang with me anymore. It's cool, no hard feelings."

Juugo must have mistaken Sasuke's expression with him being overwhelmed with the situation or fearful, perhaps realizing that his friend really was a lunatic. He hadn't been able to read the guilt playing across Sasuke's features, and Sasuke wasn't one to admit guilt.

"Juugo, you're my friend."

He stated it firmly, and it caused Juugo to stare back at Sasuke immediately. Despite the length of their relationship, this had never been expressly stated. It was awkward anyway, for guys like them. But here, Sasuke felt it was necessary. Juugo was shocked by the statement, especially given that it came from Sasuke. When was the last time Sasuke had ever told someone that?

"This makes no difference. I'm not turning my back on you."

Juugo nodded, slowly, smiling slightly.

"I don't get it. Even someone like me…"

Juugo was beginning to sound awfully familiar. Naruto. "Why me?" "You have so many people to choose from, so why would you pick someone like me?"

"You're not a freak, you're not a nut, you're not stupid. If you're my friend, you've been submitted to a high standard. I don't want to hear any more of that bullshit from your mouth."

Juugo nodded again, feeling as though he were a child being reprimanded by his father, give or take a few swear words. It seemed ironic, coming from a fifteen-year-old with a baby face and half a foot less height.

"Yes, Dad," Juugo responded dryly, shaking his head. There was a slight silence Juugo allowed before he gave a frustrated sigh. "God, what I wouldn't do for a cigarette…"

Sasuke smirked, yielding a mostly consumed pack of Camel Wides that Juugo had "loaned" him several weeks ago. Juugo grinned from ear to ear.

"You're a fuckin' lifesaver…"

Sasuke felt more like an accomplice in crime than a "lifesaver." Juugo did smoke too much, Sasuke believed. And Juugo couldn't ask his parents for cigarettes. They let him smoke weed, but god forbid he ever touch a cigarette. It was "unnatural," unlike the divinely created cannabis plant.

Juugo grabbed the pack, motioning Sasuke to join him out in a small fenced area designated for smoking during breaks and visiting hours – one of the few perks of the adult ward. There was one patient in the farther corner, muttering to themselves between deep drags. Her chatter drew short as soon as she noticed the two males' presence, casting Juugo a quick nod.

They were both standing on the opposite side of the enclosure. Sasuke handed Juugo a lighter, and Juugo lit his cigarette through the December wind with a cupped hand. He took a breath and sighed.

" _Finally_ , Jesus Christ. Now, if only they'd hand out joints with those nice little pill cups."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Classic Juugo.

"They're trying you on meds again?"

Juugo shrugged.

"Yeah. My parents didn't like it too much, given last time, but I mean, look at where I am. It's not like they have much of a choice. And hey, if I go ballistic, I'll fit right in," he finished with sideways grin.

"So far so good?"

"Yeah, I just don't like…the idea. Gotta take my crazy pills  _or else_ , they tell me. Evidently I'm just  _that_  fucked in the head."

Sasuke grunted, feeling the urge to smoke along with Juugo but refraining. He could possibly pass for 18, but it wasn't a given.

"Doesn't mean you're crazy."

"Sure it does," Juugo answered bitterly.

Sasuke almost felt insulted by Juugo's remarks, given that  _he_  had taken so-called crazy pills for almost a year now. Still, he understood that Juugo was just being hard on himself, and that this was not a standard he'd apply to others.

"Am I crazy?" Sasuke asked, cocking his head.

Juugo narrowed his eyes, holding back a smirk.

"Disregard that," Sasuke grunted.

Juugo laughed, patting Sasuke on the shoulder so that Sasuke was forced to inconspicuously brace his footing. The man did not realize his own strength.

"You're unconventionally crazy, Sasuke."

"Fuck you," Sasuke answered, rolling his eyes as he smiled.

"In all seriousness, I don't think I've known someone to have it together so much. I mean, especially considering. No… You've got to be one of the sanest people I know."

"I've been taking pills since the fire," Sasuke admitted quietly, his dark irises drifting elsewhere as his lips pressed together.

Why was he admitting to such a thing, anyway? But knowing how much Juugo looked up to him, he thought that admitting to such a thing could really change Juugo's outlook towards his own treatment. Juugo's eyes broadened.

" _You?_ "

"Yeah. Originally Xanax and a few others. Now just Zoloft."

"I'm sorry, but… Why? I mean you just seemed like you took it so well."

Sasuke snickered, and it was tinged with bitterness. He'd done wonderfully well keeping his secret, if even Juugo hadn't suspected him. Just one time he'd had a panic attack in his school's bathroom, and not a single soul had been present to bear witness. He was determined to make the entire student body believe that he was practically unaffected by the death of his parents, tough as nails and far too strong to give.

He'd done marvelously. Sometimes, rarely, he wished he hadn't done such a good job. It resulted in him feeling rather lonely. In the end, how many people could say they really knew him?

"Well, my shrink didn't seem to think so. He said I had Post-traumatic Stress Disorder."

"Sasuke…"

Juugo's voice was tinged with concern, which was enough to indicate to Sasuke that the conversation was going the wrong direction.

"Anyhow, that's irrelevant. The point is that you don't have to be some raging lunatic to be on these things. All you can do is try. I hope it works out for you."

"Did it help you?" Juugo asked hesitantly.

"Not as much as I would've liked, but yes."

Juugo nodded as he glanced at the large brick wall enclosing them, already half way through his cigarette. He moved through it quickly. Sasuke felt awfully naked at the moment, but he supposed this was nothing compared to how Juugo must be feeling. Other than Naruto and his brother, he couldn't recall feeling so vulnerable in front of someone else in quite a while.

"It's not all so bad, I guess. Me ending up here was kind of a wake up call for my folks. We had a big talk, and they're gonna go after my dyslexia and dyscalculia too. They even said they're gonna get me a tutor that specializes in young adults who have that and see if they can get me caught up in school."

"Wonderful," Sasuke answered. It was rare that Sasuke used that word unironically, but today was a special occasion. He handed Juugo another cigarette as Juugo dropped the butt into the ash tray.

"Yeah, maybe things will right themselves after all. Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better."

Sasuke turned the last sentence over in his head for a while. It was true. But wasn't it just as accurate to say that sometimes it gets better before it gets worse? There's no way to predict the future. People come and go before you even see it coming. Far too often, there's not a thing you can do about it. But he'd get trapped in his own philosophical quandaries some other day.

"How long are they keeping you in here anyway?"

"Only a few weeks, unfortunately. Just until they can be sure of my reaction to the medication."

"Unfortunately? You like it here?"

"Here… It's not so bad. I just hope to god I don't have to go back to Konoha. They're still deciding on that."

So Juugo could be leaving school for good after all. There was silence as Juugo picked at his thumb nail, shaking his head and laughing again, as he so often tended to when he said something vulnerable.

"I'd rather be here," he continued in a quiet voice. "I don't want everyone to be afraid of me again."

It was paradoxical how vulnerable Juugo sounded in that statement. Hearing his friend talk like that did things to his emotions he'd rather not acknowledge. All the gossip, meaningless chatter, the stares, and the conversations that stopped just as someone's eye caught you… Sasuke knew how those felt. He'd experienced it when his parents died and after his fight with Sai. Hell, he'd probably even be experiencing it in the near future for being involved in those theatrics in the cafeteria. And of course, they’d be sure to say things about his ailing, perhaps dying brother.

He wished he could've told Juugo he was worrying too much, that people would get over it. But he remembered the rumor Suigetsu had told him about and knew there were plenty more. People didn't know Juugo like they did. To them, Juugo was this some really quiet hulk of a man on the football team who suddenly lost it out of the blue in their cafeteria one day and sent a man to the hospital. "It's always the quiet ones," they'd say. If Juugo returned to Konoha, he would be graduating the June after next. This would follow him all the way through high school. Juugo was right. People  _were_  afraid of him.

So what was there to say?

"Juugo, I promise I won't be afraid of you," Sasuke stated slowly and sarcastically. "Get over yourself; you're not  _that_  intimidating."

Juugo guffawed, shaking his head. The mood was lightening, and things felt so familiar, despite the jarring scenery.

"Yeah, I know I don't have to worry about  _you_. I hear everyone was clinging to the walls about to piss themselves. Naturally, you decide to walk right up to me and deck me in the face."

Sasuke snickered. He decided that he would not fear Juugo, that he would never shun him for this. Even if Juugo tried to attack Sasuke, he'd have something else in store for him.

"You're really something else, Sasuke."

"Naturally," Sasuke stated snidely. He refused to respond in any other way, to act any differently in front of his friend. Whether they were sitting in a psych ward together, on a swing set, or in some nasty cafeteria, they were still the same people.

"Hey, Juugo…"

"Hm?"

"Who all knows about this stuff, anyway?"

It had been something that had been nagging at him since the day this mess had begun. Juugo's parents knew, the  _principal_  knew… Yet even as Juugo's best friend, he'd been clueless. He didn't blame Juugo for this; it would've been awfully hypocritical anyway. He just wanted to have some clue as to how many people were aware of this.

"My parents, obviously. We had to tell the school too from day one, so they'd understand in case something like this were to happen again. So the principal and several of the teachers know."

"Ah…"

Sasuke was certain now that he knew the meaning behind Sarutobi's words. It came as a relief. Juugo scratched at his forearm uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, Sasuke."

"Don't worry about it."

"It's not that I didn't trust you or didn't consider you a close friend. I kinda wanted you to…think I was normal. Maybe if I acted it out, I'd become that way."

Sasuke refused to make his thoughts visible. Sasuke used to be a pretty normal kid, once upon a time. Normal challenges, normal responsibilities… Sometimes he wished he could go back to that sort of life. He used to think that maybe if he pretended that his issues didn't exist, they would go away. He'd go back to at least being emotionally stable, even if his life could never be the same. But he accepted where he was now. With Juugo, the situation was different. Still, at least in that statement, Sasuke related to him.

"You should know by now that I don't give a fuck about 'normal.'"

Juugo shrugged.

"I guess I didn't want shit to change between us, and…"

"We're cool. You don't need to justify it."

Juugo's forehead developed a few wrinkles as his eyes gazed down at Sasuke.

"It doesn't bother you that I kept something like this from you?"

Sasuke kept full eye contact with Juugo, his face severe now. There was so much to him that Juugo didn't know. And it was possible that there was more to Juugo that he still didn't know. After all, he'd been foolish to assume that Juugo had told him everything that night on the swings. He wanted Juugo to understand, really  _understand_  what he was about to say. Even if Sasuke couldn't explain the specifics, he could be expressive when he wanted to be.

"Juugo, we all have secrets."

Juugo stared back at Sasuke, conflicted and confused. Juugo opened his mouth as if to ask a question but closed it and smiled.

"Yeah, I guess we do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone likes. I wanted to explore Sasuke's relationships with his friends a little more, especially as Sasuke is beginning to recover and act more like his real self again.
> 
> I stole my description of the psych ward from the UCLA Resnick Neuropsychiatric Hospital and, to a lesser extent, Vista Del Mar, a dual track facility in Ventura (~2 hours from Sasuke's location). I stayed in both and wanted to write from experience. I see psych wards insensitively handled in a lot of writing.
> 
> You also might've noticed that I've added a number of total chapters to the story. I have everything formed pretty well at this point. I don't expect that number to change much, probably 1-2 chapters at most.
> 
> Anyhow, yeah, drop some comments/PMs if you want. They're my lifeblood.


	45. Chapter 45

It could have been worse, really. Sasuke exhaled deeply as he left the psychiatric ward, walking through several adjacent parking lots towards the rest of the hospital. Juugo seemed to be in good spirits, and the place fell short of the 1960's hellholes portrayed in most movies he'd watched on the topic. Looks like society had come a long way since Girl Interrupted.

Regardless, it was one hell of a lot of information to take in, though it resolved a lot of mysteries. Juugo asked Sasuke to keep his secret, even from Karin and Suigetsu. Sasuke didn't exactly blame him. If he had been in Juugo's situation, he would have kept it from anyone he possibly could. The fact that Juugo volunteered the information to Sasuke willingly told Sasuke where he stood with Juugo. Still, if not for the cafeteria incident, Sasuke wondered if he would've ever discovered Juugo's secret at all.

There was, however, another unknown. He'd toyed with pursuing it on the bus ride over to the hospital. He now approached the front desk of the main hospital, currently manned by an elderly volunteer.

"I'm here to visit Yakushi Kabuto. What's his room number?"

He didn't even know if Kabuto was still in the hospital, but while he was there anyway, he figured he might as well try. Could there be a safer place to obtain his answers? Sasuke had possibly saved Kabuto’s life. On the other hand, he was mostly in this hospital _because_  of Sasuke. Would he seek revenge? After such a humiliating ordeal, would he feel the need to make an example of Sasuke to keep everyone's respect? Image is important for a businessman, which Kabuto certainly was…in his own right.

"342B. Do you need help finding it?"

It was just a floor below Itachi, actually. How ironic that the man that had been causing so much trouble for Sasuke, the man that had supplied him with his "inventory" was sleeping just one story below his greatest role model. He was intensely grateful that neither of them was aware of that fact.

"No thanks, I'm good."

Sasuke was more familiar with this hospital than he cared to be, in all honesty. He rode the elevator to reach Kabuto's floor, passing the nurse's station along with room 347A. This shouldn't take long. His mind tried to imagine what was awaiting him, but he wiped it back. How severely injured must Kabuto have been for them to keep him here for so long? Internal injuries?

There was a clipboard outside Kabuto's room, with different lines requesting the visitor, the date, and the time. There was only one name, and it belonged to his principal. It was about six in the afternoon the day of the fight. The motive behind this visit was obvious. Was Sasuke Kabuto's first real visitor? Sasuke filled out the second line and knocked on the door. He waited several seconds before entering.

The overhead lights over Kabuto's head were on dim, as dusk was quickly approaching. The room was white and sterile, identical to Itachi's in almost every respect. Sasuke had, however, left magazines, books, food, and all sorts of puzzles for Itachi.

He even bought Itachi a "Get Well" balloon, which Sasuke felt very awkward giving him. He sneaked it in from the gift shop while Itachi slept one evening, just before he left. It wasn't exactly their style, thus the clandestine exit. Sasuke couldn't help but think that the room looked too damned depressing and didn't know what else to do about it. Kabuto's room, in contrast, seemed rather barren.

Kabuto was propped up in bed, sketching lazily at a paper, his pencil's eraser resting on his swollen cheek. Grey eyes squinted as the pencil began to move again, the paper held closely to his face. Kabuto's glasses rested on the bed tray, swiveled parallel with the bed rail. His non-dominant arm was in a sling, his face covered with a couple nasty bruises which had started to show complementary hues of green and yellow. His nose was swollen and resting slightly crooked. Kabuto glanced up, sighing impatiently.

"Someone was just in here to change my bandages thirty minutes ago. I'm not due until tomorrow."

Sasuke cast Kabuto a strange look before remembering how near-sighted Kabuto was. He must have mistaken Sasuke for a nurse. Sasuke glanced over at the whiteboard, noting that his nurse for the day was named "Joe," and his most recent bandage change was, indeed, thirty minutes ago. He also noticed a small space of the whiteboard with "Contacts:" scrawled out. However, the space next to it was blank.

"Kabuto…"

Kabuto startled upright, poorly concealing a wince. Broken ribs, Sasuke wondered? The sole of Juugo's foot had certainly not been forgiving to Kabuto's ribcage. Kabuto instinctively reached for his glasses but then regarded them hesitantly before putting them on. Sasuke wondered why Kabuto would be reluctant until the senior actually put them on.

The massive swelling on Kabuto's nose bridge caused them to rest to the right, the frame dramatically askew. Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek to prevent the corners of his lips from rising in both amusement and satisfaction. He reminded himself that Kabuto could see his facial expressions now and mentally congratulated himself for managing not to smirk.

"Thought I'd see how your ugly mug is holding up."

Kabuto quickly placed his sketchpad down, the marked side facing down on the table to conceal itself from prying eyes. Sasuke hadn't made anything decent out regardless. Perhaps he could do with a pair of glasses (or contacts, rather) as well. Maybe when all this mess blew over.

"The hell are you doing here, Uchiha?"

Sasuke didn't bother pulling up a chair, standing several feet away from Kabuto's bed and leaning against the wall to give him space. Talking did not seem to pain Kabuto.

"Take an educated guess."

Kabuto sneered, glancing over at Sasuke, whom he could now see perfectly.

"So, you're here for answers."

Sasuke nodded. His pride was against feigning concern for Kabuto, and even if he tried it, Kabuto was apt to interpret that as pity or see through it as an attempt at manipulation. In the end, it would only serve against him.

"You don't know what I'm capable of, Sasuke," Kabuto stated.

He didn't sound angry when he said this. It was more as though he were stating a fact, or commenting on the weather. A simple reality.

Sasuke nodded in understanding. He wouldn't press Kabuto for specifics, at least not at this stage.

"I don't know how much of the action you caught. Did Sarutobi explain it?"

Kabuto nodded.

"I was already aware of everything that happened, but he told me you got yourself suspended again. And here you are."

Of course, then Kabuto knew  _how_  Sasuke got himself suspended. Kabuto knew that Sasuke had put his future at risk to do something that possibly saved his life, regardless of the fact that Sasuke was acting primarily for Juugo. There was no need to go over it again. He could always bring it up later if it seemed helpful, but for now he thought he'd get farther without pressing the fact.

"You don't know what kind of hell I could bring down around you."

"I have some idea. I met Orochimaru, after all."

Yet Kabuto's relationship with Orochimaru seemed strained at best, to the point that Kabuto had brought a gun in with him for a simple transaction. From what Sasuke had observed, their working relationship seemed precarious and only superficially civil. Would Kabuto really feel safe asking favors from him? Still, if he was connected to someone like Orochimaru, there were bound to be others dangerous enough to do the damage.

"Here's the thing," Kabuto sighed. "It's a pain in the ass. Takes some effort on my part, and shit, for a little half-grown punk like you…"

Kabuto smirked at Sasuke patronizingly, staring Sasuke up and down.

"Hardly seems worth it."

Sasuke understood that this condescension was Kabuto's way of retreating while keeping his pride intact. Maybe he was bluffing in the past, or maybe he wasn't. Maybe he was grateful to Sasuke for saving him. Still, Sasuke assumed that there was more to Kabuto's decision than this.

What Kabuto said actually seemed pretty probable to Sasuke, rather than just a meaningless copout. On Kabuto's part, there was a lot of effort and a lot of risk. Sasuke had pondered this over the past few days. He knew that to best control the outcome of this feud, he had to understand the pro's and con's from Kabuto's point of view. He came prepared.

Kabuto could come after Sasuke himself, but Sasuke doubted he'd want to get his hands so dirty, especially after their altercation in the cafeteria. If anything happened to Sasuke, several hundred witness testimonies would point to Kabuto as a prime suspect. Kabuto had quite a lot of dirt on Sasuke, but this was nothing compared to what Sasuke knew about Kabuto.

Not to mention the fact that Sasuke was fifteen, and Kabuto was twenty-one. If Kabuto made things too dangerous for Sasuke, it might make sense for Sasuke to report the situation to authorities and face the music. Maybe it just wouldn't make sense unless he killed Sasuke, but that was taking things awfully far. The stakes were much higher for Kabuto.

Kabuto could go through someone else, which would be safer in some ways but would still pose many of the same issues. Also, getting someone seriously injured, or maybe even killed, was quite a favor to ask. Kabuto would likely be asked to pay for it one way or another. Sasuke didn't have many doubts that Kabuto  _could_  hurt him, probably even kill him. But at what cost?

It wasn't worth it, and while Kabuto's judgment was questionable at times, he wasn't  _that_  stupid. The biggest problem was that Kabuto had been humiliated in front of many of his clients. He knew word would travel, and he'd need to reestablish respect. Still, pursuing Sasuke or even Juugo was so dangerous that he'd probably look for another way.

Sasuke knew Kabuto was doing the simple logic in his head and coming out with a more rational response. And if Kabuto's emotions and anger or pride had been swaying him, perhaps Sasuke's intervention on Kabuto's behalf appeased these feelings somewhat.

"Do  _not_  make me reconsider. Do you understand, Sasuke?"

Sasuke nodded slowly. He wanted to sigh in relief, but he'd hold it in. The drugs, the stealing, the fights… Could he really leave all of this bullshit behind him? Was he free now?

"You're still going ahead with this house business?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know how many friends you're bringing, but you've currently got one accomplice, who’s completely inexperienced. You think he can keep his cool in that situation?"

"You're not trying to…talk  _me_  out of it, are you?" Kabuto asked, incredulously staring at Sasuke.

Sasuke was trying more for Suigetsu's behalf than Kabuto's, but… Even after everything, he had to admit that there might've been one particle, one tiny little atom in his body that cared if Kabuto got himself a twenty year prison sentence. At one point, he'd more or less called Kabuto his friend. He was an asshole, and not a very forgivable one at that. Sasuke would never put himself at risk for Kabuto, but… Again, he was speaking for Suigetsu, not Kabuto.

"I'm just stating my opinion. It's a stupid idea."

Kabuto stared at Sasuke for a while before chuckling, then laughing.

"Trying to talk  _me_  out of it? God, you're too much."

Sasuke stared at Kabuto impatiently until he stopped laughing.

"This isn't a first for me. Nothing you can say or do will stop me, but it was kind of funny watching you try."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, allowing Kabuto to have his jab. Sasuke knew that Kabuto was in a rather humiliating situation. His last threat to Sasuke had landed him in this hospital bed. Sasuke would let Kabuto say what he needed to say to keep his pride intact enough not to lash out. It was obvious who the real victor was here.

"You stay out of my way, and I'll stay out of yours. Do we have a deal?"

"Deal."

As Sasuke turned, he caught Kabuto eyeing a sandwich that had been put on the opposite side of his hospital room, by the window. Sasuke turned around and walked towards the sandwich.

"I don't need your…" Kabuto protested.

But Sasuke put the sandwich on his bedside tray and left the room before Kabuto could finish, promptly shutting the door behind him.

* * *

 

He ran over to a nearby Chinese restaurant for takeout before visiting Itachi, his mind perusing the last hour's activity as he waited in line. Today, or rather the past hour, had certainly been eventful. He was concerned for Juugo, but pleased he could be finally putting this Kabuto business to rest. In the end, the parting had been…not exactly amiable, but not hostile either. Suigetsu was a fool for going through with this nonsense.

He ordered Itachi his favorite: cashew nut chicken. He ordered it extra light on the oil and with only white meat to placate Itachi's stomach. Just the other day, Dr. Sannin told Sasuke that he could start bringing Itachi outside food, as long as it wasn't anything particularly demanding on the stomach. Sasuke took to this immediately, having had to endure a few too many Las Haciendas meals himself.

He made his way up to Itachi's room quickly so that the food would still be warm. He knocked on the door a few times, hearing the TV playing on the other end. His brother was awake. He'd been sleeping a lot less lately – around ten hours a day, Itachi reported, rather than the approximate seventeen hours a day he'd required when admitted.

"Come in."

Sasuke walked into Itachi's room, which now, by contrast to Kabuto's, seemed rather lively and worn in. Itachi was reading a book on malpractice attorneys as the commercials played. Itachi lifted his eyes off of the text, immediately honing in on the bag of Chinese food in Sasuke's hand. Itachi immediately averted his eyes elsewhere as if this would make Sasuke forget he'd caught Itachi staring.

"Yes, it's for you," Sasuke informed Itachi, saving him the tentative enthusiasm Sasuke knew he was trying so hard to subdue.

Itachi shut his book without bothering to mark the page. Sasuke snickered. He couldn't blame Itachi. He wondered if this hospital could win some sort of award for having the worst hospital food in the county, or maybe even the state of California. After spending so many weeks confined to only IVs and Las Haciendas food, Sasuke would have been pretty damned elated to see food from the outside world as well.

Still, he almost felt as if their positions had been reversed. As composed and responsible as Itachi generally was, there was a certain childlike enthusiasm in him that was so rarely triggered. Besides their parents, Sasuke was probably the only person to witness this. Itachi looked confused by Sasuke's expression, but realization dawned quickly.

"That had nothing to do with the food," Itachi corrected, as if he found his eagerness unbecoming. "It's rude to read when you have company."

"Of course," Sasuke answered disbelievingly, taking Itachi's encyclopedia-sized book and setting it on the counter by the window. "I hope you're hungry."

Itachi nodded, and Sasuke placed two takeout boxes in front of Itachi. One was filled with white rice, and the other, Itachi's prized cashew nut chicken. He placed a pair of chopsticks by Itachi, and just to prove his point, Itachi waited until Sasuke had seated himself and taken out his own petite box of orange chicken to eat alongside Itachi. It was a couple dollars more than Sasuke would have liked to spend on his lunch, though he'd been sure to buy the smallest size of the cheapest dish. He figured it would be awkward for Itachi to be the only one eating.

When Itachi opened the chicken, a heavy cloud of steam wafted up towards the hospital ceiling, the entire room now smelling a lot less like antiseptic and a lot more like hot, fresh Chinese food. Itachi took a moment, allowing the scent to fully hit him before he smiled softly. Itachi had his chopsticks out soon afterward, diving into the chicken before Sasuke even had time to open his own food.

Itachi had gotten far too thin over the past few weeks. He had started to remind Sasuke of what Naruto looked like when he first met him, and it hadn't been a good look on either of them. It seemed so long to Sasuke since he saw his brother  _really_  eat, not just get a few bites off of his plate and move the food around.

" _Mmmm_ ," Itachi almost purred, savoring the bite as he chewed.

Sasuke pretended not to notice Itachi's exuberance, smiling slightly as he slowly ate his own food. Itachi was completely silent as he plowed through the chicken, and Sasuke realized that even with his smaller portion size, he could safely pick up the pace if Itachi kept his momentum.

"Want some rice?" Itachi asked, offering the other box to Sasuke. Sasuke nodded, placing a small mound onto his own box and mixing it in.

They ignored the Colbert Report when it came on. Itachi didn't even look at the screen. He was much too busy with the chicken in front of him. However, about half of the way through, Itachi began to lose steam. His stomach had shrunk over the past couple months. Generally, he'd start off with a hearty appetite but fill quickly. He screeched to a stop around two thirds through.

"Phew…" Itachi stated, sounding a little exhausted. Eating, or really doing anything that required such an effort was a strain to Itachi. "I can't eat another bite."

Sasuke was almost through with his own serving.

"That food didn't stand a chance."

"Thanks, Sasuke. I wish that Chinese food joint would partner with Haciendas. Maybe the food would be worth half a damn then."

"Maybe."

They watched the last ten minutes of Colbert report together, one occasionally making a snide comment to the other. It seemed to wrap up quickly, and Itachi was regaining the energy he'd lost eating.

"So…" Itachi stated slowly. "How have things been lately?"

"You mean in the twenty hours since I've seen you last?" Sasuke asked flatly, as if it were preposterous to expect anything worth reporting to happen in twenty hours. Of course, it had.

"Yes, in the twenty hours since I've seen you last."

"Nothing much. My classes are kind of winding down for winter break."

He'd been partially honest, at least. His classes  _were_  "winding down," naturally. He'd been suspended. He certainly hadn't been visiting friends in psychiatric wards or getting out of close calls with criminals. It was strange to have three people to see in a single hospital visit, for completely different reasons. One was physically ill, one was mentally ill, and the other had simply gotten the shit beat out of him.

"Glad to hear it. You look a little better, Sasuke. A little less pale and more rested."

It was so characteristic of his brother to be keeping tabs on such a thing as Sasuke's complexion and the bags under his eyes, even while he was stuck in the hospital. Sasuke would have been thought Itachi would be feeling too shitty to be so observant, but those gears in his head would never stop turning.

"Yeah, you too."

"You know, Sasuke…" Itachi said quietly, changing the channel with his remote as commercials hit. "I've been noticing other differences in you."

"Huh?" Sasuke perked a brow, wondering where Itachi could be going with this.

"I don't know if you're just putting on a front for my behalf, but… You seem a little happier. You've been acting differently, more like how you used to act."

Momentarily, Sasuke appeared surprised. Itachi was, of course, referring to how he used to act before the fire. That went without saying. Sure, he was making different decisions. But was he really acting that differently, even in trivial conversation? Was it really to the extent that his brother, who had no idea what was going on in Sasuke's life, could notice this?

Perhaps his decisions were affecting his personality… Or was it the other way around? Maybe it was Naruto's influence that had changed his personality and caused him to make different decisions. Maybe it was both. Sasuke supposed that didn't really matter anyway. Sometimes it's so much easier for  _other_  people to notice when you're growing up.

"I don't know what you're prattling on about," Sasuke sighed, rolling his eyes.

Itachi had a peaceful smile on his face.

“We got the biopsy results today.”

Sasuke froze. When they’d removed Itachi’s primary tumor, there was concern that cancer cells might be located in the muscle of Itachi’s stomach lining. If that tumor did permeate Itachi’s stomach wall… It was next to a death sentence.

He felt his hands get clammy and swallowed hard.

“Yeah?”

“Negative,” Itachi answered with a smile. “As of now, I am cancer free.”

Sasuke laughed, and it was not one of those half-hearted and cynical laughs he was known for.

“It’s gone?”

Itachi brushed his hands together, then separating them with his palms out.

“Gone.”

A huge smile ate up his face, and he felt his eyes water, just slightly. It felt too good to be true. This meant no chemo, no radiation… Just checkups. Thank god.

“You beat it,” Sasuke muttered.

And it was just like his brother. Itachi could do anything. He could even beat cancer.

“I was lucky,” Itachi answered. “Power of will can only go so far. The body does what it will.”

Sasuke knew that this wasn’t the end. He knew that Itachi was at great risk for relapse, and any one of those checkups could bring a screeching halt to Itachi’s remission. But he’d bask in this. He hadn’t had good news in such a long time, it seemed.

The idea that he wouldn’t lose Itachi. If he wasn’t losing Itachi, maybe he wouldn’t lose Naruto either. Maybe he really could keep the two of them in his life. The idea seemed almost too good to be true.

“I’m not going anywhere, Sasuke,” Itachi told him calmly. “I won’t leave my kid brother alone.”

Relief flooded him, and he felt goose bumps form on his arm. He was afraid that if they stayed on this topic for much longer, he’d become emotional. And he did _not_ want to tear up in front of his brother.

So Sasuke just gave him a crooked smile and cocked his head over to Itachi’s walker.

"So, old man, are you up for a walk tonight?"

The days until Itachi would be released were dwindling. Dr. Sannin and Sasuke had been there when he left his bed for the first time in almost a month. After being bedbound for so long prior to his surgery for his fever, and then after the surgery for recovery, Itachi's muscles had atrophied. It took a particularly burly nurse to ease him out of bed. Itachi stood, grasping the rail on his bed tightly and beginning to pant. This was the evening after Sasuke had gotten suspended.

"Can you step?" Dr. Sannin asked, firmly but patiently.

His black hair stuck to the back of his head, slightly greasy. Itachi tried to lift his leg, his jaw clenching and knuckles whitening. There was a white film on the crease of his lips. He could barely shift his weight from one leg to another. He was gripping that bed rail so hard. He tried again, his face appearing to pale and strands of hair sticking to his sweat-moistened forehead. He shook his head.

Sasuke had become so accustomed to the sight of Itachi in a hospital bed. It was only now, when he attempted to leave it, that Sasuke realized how weak he had become. Sasuke had been eager when Dr. Sannin told him that she would allow Itachi to get out of his bed that day. Still, he kind of expected him to just…get up, not be  _lifted_  up.

It was an unrealistic expectation, he now discovered. He knew, logically, that the only reason Itachi was able to stand at all was because he was getting better. Still, it was difficult to watch his brother put all of his energy into just staying upright, unable to move even a single step.

That was three days ago. For Itachi to get out of the hospital, Dr. Sannin required that he must be able to get out of his bed without aid and walk from his room to the south end of the floor, however slowly, without a walker or cane. Itachi had a very long way to go. However, partially thanks to Sasuke, he seemed to improve vastly from day to day.

If not for Sasuke's presence, Itachi would have only gotten one "walk" a day, with the morning nurse. The hospital was horrifically understaffed, and the nurse would only spare him a handful of minutes. However, Dr. Sannin had permitted Sasuke to help exercise Itachi as well. Sasuke visited him nightly, and every night, Itachi could get at least one extra walk out of Sasuke, if not two. Sasuke was patient and would give Itachi all the time he needed to catch his breath, so he could really get the most out of these walks.

"Of course, runt," Itachi answered with a soft grin, moving the bed tray aside and lifting off his blankets. Sasuke moved Itachi's walker so that it was nearby. Itachi was able to move his legs near to the edge of the bed, but Sasuke had to lift them onto the ground so that they didn't drop, one at a time. Itachi didn't currently have the abdominal strength to let them down easily.

He offered Itachi his arm, from the shoulder to the wrist, as Itachi sought to stand, giving Itachi's body a very gentle hoist as Itachi got onto his feet. Sasuke braced Itachi with his hands until he knew Itachi had caught his balance, then moved the walker so that Itachi could grasp it and got out of the way. Itachi was already moving forward, one baby step at a time.

So far, so good. The walker clacked quietly as they moved forward. He was walking towards the door, left foot forward, then the right foot following. Then he'd take a breath and pause. Then the right foot, then the left. A pause. But he was steadily progressing, and his movements were modest but controlled. Sasuke followed closely, prepared to catch his brother in an instant if he were to trip and fall. This wasn't very likely, considering that he was using a walker already, but Sasuke figured one could never be too careful. About a minute had passed when they reached the door.

"I want to go outside," Itachi stated.

"Are you sure?"

If Itachi got too tired, it would be quite some distance back to the bed. The only way back other than by foot was by wheelchair, which Sasuke would have to search the floor to find. Itachi had never left his room since he’d arrived.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

It was against Sasuke's better judgment, perhaps, but he opened the door. Itachi took in all of the activity around them, the nurses quickly answering phones and shuffling around, the hospital volunteers roaming the floors, and a very lucky patient being discharged. For what was his first time in so long, he left his room.

"Ah… The outside world…" he jested.

There was something indescribably uplifting about visiting someone who had been so ill and watching them improve, little by little, each day. Sasuke tried to forget the state he found Itachi in, but it was clearly obvious that he'd entered this hospital with what could have been hours or even minutes to live. Every day, it seemed, Itachi's face looked a little fuller, a little more colorful. Every day, he was able to eat more, walk farther, and sleep less. Sasuke could hardly believe that in three days, Itachi went from hardly being able to stand to leaving his room. But then again, that was his brother for him. Why should he even be surprised?

He just hoped against all hope that Itachi wouldn’t be stopped. He knew that cancer has a way of taking things into its own hands.

Itachi's goal of walking to that wall on the other side of the hospital, about forty feet away, with no walker didn't seem so remote anymore. Sasuke was impressed, relieved, and happy with Itachi's quick improvements. However, he couldn't help but feel a small but persistent nagging of anxiety as well. If Itachi was improving so quickly, how soon would it be until he got home? How soon after that would Naruto be discovered?

He felt like a scumbag for even thinking such thoughts. He shouldn't be having mixed feelings regarding his brother's return home. Why would he be so selfish? Naruto's discovery was inevitable anyway. He could only hope to postpone it. Still, he couldn't get rid of that anxiety, no matter how hard he tried. But as long as he did everything in his power to help his brother recover and get away from that place, Sasuke thought, no one would ever have to know.

"Welcome back to civilization," Sasuke told him.

Itachi was smiling, moving one step, then another…

"You just wait, Sasuke…" Itachi panted. "After I get out of here, I'm gonna get strong…and you won't stand a chance against me."

"Sure," Sasuke conceded. "But then I'm going to finish puberty, and for the rest of your life, you'll be fucked."

It was strange that they were now beginning to sound a lot more like brothers and a lot less like a father and his child. Itachi seemed to be speaking to him differently these days.

"Language, Sasuke."

Or maybe Sasuke had assumed too much.

"Really?" Sasuke asked, exasperated.

"But I can say that that statement…" Itachi paused. Exhale. Inhale. "…was the biggest heap of bullshit I've heard in my life."

"You're a hypocrite, Itachi," Sasuke chided, his voice lacking any real venom.

"I said it quietly. It's only a profanity if someone hears you."

So, now he was changing his tune. Before, he hadn't even been allowed to swear before Itachi. Sasuke tucked that sentence away for future use. Should Itachi ever try to scold him for swearing again in their otherwise empty house, Sasuke would be certain to use it in his defense.

"If I don't count as a 'someone,' then neither do you."

"That's…" Itachi's legs froze. Itachi coughed and gritted his teeth tightly as he clung onto his walker. The cough sounded wet rather than dry, Itachi's face contorted in pain. Sasuke tried not to look as concerned as he felt. Coughing was naturally a very painful experience for Itachi these days, after the extensive wounds to his abdominal muscles. Finally, Itachi cleared his throat and plodded on.

"I think we should go back," Sasuke said.

"Please, Sasuke. Some spit just went down the wrong way…when I was taking a breath. I'm fine."

"We're going back. If you're still in shape to go farther once we get to your room, you can overshoot it."

Itachi stopped walking.

"Okay."

His shoulders slumped dejectedly, and Sasuke almost felt guilty. Itachi was probably enjoying these very few minutes where he was outside of his hospital room. It must've been a nice relief to see the wall with his own eyes, to get a good, concrete look at his goal. Sasuke decided that next time he saw Itachi, he'd borrow a wheelchair and take him around, maybe even get him some fresh air if Dr. Sannin would allow it. Itachi was turning around slowly, retracing the five feet that lie between them and Itachi's door.

Sure enough, the steps started to come slower, and his face got paler. Sasuke couldn't blame Itachi for being eager to get out of this place. Who wouldn't be? Knowing his brother as he did, Sasuke knew he was building a list of responsibilities he'd have to tend to once he was discharged. On the top of that list was probably taking care of him, as much as Sasuke hated to admit it.

"There was no need…"

"Don't talk. Just walk."

Itachi nodded. Sasuke held the door open for Itachi when they reached the room, about a minute later, at half the pace Itachi had adopted when they left. Itachi went in wordlessly and without protest. He must've been exhausted. Sasuke lowered the rail and moved the walker away after Itachi sat. He lifted Itachi's legs for him, one at a time again, helped him get situated in the bed, and tucked him in. He tucked the blanket around Itachi's feet as he liked it and made sure it wouldn't become disheveled as he slept. It was almost as if Itachi were his child, which probably did nothing for his brother's sense of pride. Itachi was still panting, his breath slowly returning to normal.

"You know, the worst part about being stuck here is when you're…" Itachi breathed in deeply again, "…healthy enough to know what's going on but…not quite enough to leave."

Itachi so infrequently complained. Sasuke assumed this was the closest he would come to that. He nodded, slowly.

"I know it sucks here. But don't push yourself too hard trying to get out, or you'll get stuck here even longer."

"I'm not pushing myself that hard. I'm just being disciplined."

Sasuke frowned.

"You've never left your room before, and you tried to go way too far. You've gone farther today than you have since you got in."

"You act like it's unusual," Itachi said, smiling smugly, "I go farther than I've gone since I got in  _every_  day."

It was true, as every day had seen improvement. Every day he was going farther, doing a bit better.

"I'm gonna make it to the wall in no time. I'll be home by New Year's."

He knew Christmas was out of Itachi's reach, but New Year's… It might be a stretch, but if anyone could do it, Itachi could. His family used to watch the ball drop together when he was a kid. Everyone in the Uchiha household was busy; it was a den of chronic overachievers. Even Christmas was sometimes interrupted by work schedules.

Yet New Year's, as late at night as it was, was the one time in the year when everyone, without fail, put their life on hold and met together. As the ball dropped, his parents, who so rarely showed signs of affection outside of the privacy of their own bedrooms, would kiss on the lips for just a second, much to the young Sasuke's disgust.

Watching the ball drop without a single family member around would be depressing. It would make him feel like the last one amongst a rather cursed lot. It would be easier on both siblings to just stay in the hospital together, Sasuke surmised, although that was a rather gloomy environment. As glad as he'd be to watch the ball drop with his brother in their own home, the thought occurred to him that Naruto might not be there anymore.

"Yeah, I know."


	46. Chapter 46

_Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock…_

The sound greeted Sasuke as he opened his front door, returning home from the hospital that evening. Naruto was playing Christmas music over their stereo system. His boyfriend was smiling, hugging him, excitedly ushering him farther into his home. This was a surprise to him. This was his second Christmas without his family. Sasuke had been all for just ignoring the wretched holiday.

* * *

For a second time in a row, the hollow white ping pong narrowly rocketed past Sasuke.

"Shit," he hissed.

Juugo shook his head.

"I told you. I've been getting pro."

When Juugo had first challenged Sasuke to a ping pong match, Sasuke had beaten Juugo into the ground. Both of them were the athletic sort. Sasuke embraced basketball in past years about as much as Juugo currently embraced football, so they both had a steep learning curve. However, Sasuke tended to be nimbler and quicker, whereas Juugo's fortes lay with physical strength and stamina. Originally, Sasuke had absolutely annihilated Juugo, but Juugo was packing on hours of practice every day. What else was there to do around the place?

"You're getting pretty cocky for a two-point lead."

Juugo's ward was covered in tinsel and red and green shiny snowflakes. The late morning light livened the place up considerably. There was a giant tree in the lounge room, which seemed rather out of place amidst the rather uniform bolted benches. Apparently, Juugo had been coerced into finger painting as well, as there were a couple red and white paint stains on his shirt. Juugo's visiting hours had been lengthened for Christmas, so Sasuke figured he'd stop in briefly before seeing Itachi. After all, how much would it suck to be in a psych ward on Christmas?

"By the time I'm out of here, you won't stand a chance."

Juugo put the ball into motion again. The chatter in the room was loud enough to prevent them from being overheard. Everyone seemed to have visitors, and it was a miracle that the ping pong table was free when Sasuke arrived. This at least allowed the two of them privacy, their voices lost along the cheerful clutter of noise and Christmas music.

"Better not let your guard down."

As if preordained, Sasuke hit a mean forehand into the back corner of Juugo's side, flying fast and low to the table. Juugo's paddle barely made contact with the ball as he returned it, missing the table completely.

"I rest my case," Sasuke said with a smirk.

"Luck's not enough to save you."

Sasuke caught the ball as it bounced off of the ground, pausing a moment before putting it into play again.

"So don't call it luck when I beat you."

A few more rounds as the ball bounced back and forth, neither able to best the other.

"Did you catch my fingerpaint art by the doorway?" Juugo asked.

"No."

"I think I could label it The Fault of Man or something and pitch it as modern art."

Sasuke pinged the ball back.

"I'm hoping you have a Plan B."

"No need. That one chick who keeps brushing her hair all day told me it was beautiful, and Demetrius liked it so much he tried to eat it,” Juugo explained. “His teeth marks are reminiscent of humanity's struggle.”

Juugo had to lunge a little bit for this shot, briefly interrupting his train of thought.

"It's even made in a fucking psych ward: a haunting portrayal of insanity," he continued. "So I've already got the whole artistically crazy motif working for me here. It's totally in the bag."

"I can see you've put a lot of thought into this. After you become a world-renowned artist, feel free to lend me a few grand at your earliest convenience."

 _Another_  point for Juugo. Juugo gave Sasuke a triumphant look before hitting the ball towards him again.

"I let him, by the way."

"Hm?"

"I let Demetrius eat maybe a quarter of my painting before a nurse stopped him. I got bitched at for not stopping him because they're afraid it'll make him sick."

"They should keep a better on eye him."

"Yeah, and take some of that attention away from me. Demetrius is such a tiny little thing, so passive that they let their guard down for him. Not so for me, however."

They played for a while in silence. It honestly made sense that they would monitor Juugo so closely, given his reason for being there, but Sasuke wasn't going to mention that.

"I talked to Kabuto the other day."

"Yeah?" Juugo prompted guardedly.

"He's claiming that he's letting me off the hook. Said it was too much work."

"That's a relief. I was honestly afraid he'd just try to get back at me, or even worse you."

Sasuke hit Juugo a lob.

"Yeah, same. But it's honestly too much risk on his part. If something were to happen to us, how fishy would that look after everything that happened in the cafeteria?"

"True…” Juugo answered, sounding not entirely convinced. “I'd still think he'd be out for revenge or something. He can't afford to look soft with his profession."

Sasuke sighed and rolled his eyes. This had been the primary reason he'd feared that Kabuto would target them.

"I expect some ridiculous display of machismo in the near future to get everyone shaking in their boots again. I don't think we should let down our guards, but we're very risky targets."

The thought had occurred to Sasuke that maybe Kabuto was claiming to let him off the hook so that he would lower his defenses. However, Sasuke would still take due precautions for quite some time.

"Yeah…" Juugo mumbled, trailing off. "I'm sorry about everything, pulling you into a fucking mess. I hate that you, and everyone else for that matter, saw me like that. It's…embarrassing."

Juugo was watching the ball closely, his brows knit tightly.

"I just couldn't handle him talking to you like that… So I snapped."

Sasuke already knew Juugo felt guilty about the stress his breakdown had caused his friends, the school, and his parents. For these reasons, Sasuke never told Juugo that he'd gotten suspended over the incident, though Juugo was bound to realize eventually.

He could only imagine how exposed Juugo felt. Sasuke had painstakingly concealed his issues. What would it be like to have a panic attack in the middle of the cafeteria, watched by hundreds of gawking eyes?

"At least he got what was coming to him."

"What he said about you was so wrong," Juugo said, shaking his head. "It still makes me mad just thinking about it."

Sasuke was very glad for the monotonous game they were playing, feeling rather uneasy about the subject matter. The repetitive actions lent the conversation an air of comfortable casualness.

"Sticks and stones," Sasuke said dismissively.

He hated to admit that although he knew that Kabuto was just trying to manipulate him by aiming for the soft spots, sometimes it  _still_  affected him. It played on all of his doubts. Still, this was something he'd admit to no one.

"But still…" Juugo pressed.

Sasuke disliked the direction this conversation was headed, so he decided to quickly reroute it.

"Speaking of Kabuto, since I didn't bring you a present, maybe I'll fill you in on Karin's latest antics."

"Yeah?"

Sasuke scored a point. Juugo's paddle hadn't even come close. Juugo lobbed it back gently.

"Kabuto's nose got busted up pretty badly. Now his glasses are crooked. It was horrible when I saw him, and Karin said it's still pretty bad. So they just hang off the side of his face at this ridiculous angle."

Juugo started laughing.

"That image is priceless."

"They keep falling down. He keeps pushing them up. They fall off sometimes. Probably will never heal properly. It's a beautiful thing."

Juugo whacked the ball rather effortlessly.

"You're a sadist, Sasuke," Juugo chuckled, pausing momentarily. "I actually feel kinda guilty about it."

"Why?" Sasuke asked flatly.

"He deserved to get his ass kicked, yeah, but I just about killed the guy."

"So?" Sasuke asked callously. "It's not your fault, and he's an asshole. And he's fine now, back in school giving everyone else grief in full health."

Juugo sighed.

"Yeah, I guess. Anyhow, what kind of havoc did Karin wreak this time?"

"Before Kabuto came to school one day, she got fourteen business cards from the rhinoplasty clinic downtown and put them in his locker."

"Rhinoplasty?" Juugo asked sheepishly.

"Nose jobs."

"Ha!" Juugo chuckled, catching on. "Oh, that's amazing."

Sasuke smiled quietly, maturity be damned. Really, Karin had been primarily motivated out of anger towards Kabuto, issuing from both Kabuto's rant the day of the fight as well as the fact that he was still coercing her boyfriend into home burglary. Sasuke wouldn't bring that up if he could help it.

"Yeah, I thought it would brighten your day."

"Man, thanks for the Christmas present. Karin's something."

Sasuke merely rolled his eyes at the comment. She was something, alright. She could do with a little less persistence, especially when it came to relentlessly pursuing him.

"And…thanks for stopping by, Sasuke," Juugo added, sounding a little more reserved. "I could use a little company today. I've had better Christmases, to be honest."

"Yeah, me too," Sasuke admitted, trying not to sound too gloomy.

"No doubt," Juugo sighed. "At least there's ping pong."

"Valid point."

" _And_  they didn't have group today because of the extended visiting hours."

"Group therapy, I'm assuming?"

"Yeah. They have everyone sit in a ring and discuss their 'feelings' and 'goals' and shit. You don't technically have to say anything, but at the same time you kinda know that the more beans you spill, the sooner they'll let you out."

Sasuke shuddered. This sounded like his version of hell, and Sasuke knew Juugo well enough to know he'd feel similarly. Individual therapy was difficult enough.

"I'm assuming they don't allow you to opt for shock therapy instead."

"Heh!" Juugo interjected, rolling his eyes. "I wish, dude."

They hit a few more. Sasuke scored. He was in the lead again.

"You little prick."

"What did I tell you about not letting down your guard? But I gotta head out soon."

He wanted to get to Itachi's room before it got too late in the day.

"Now that you're finally winning? Convenient."

"Me beating you at ping pong isn't exactly a rare occasion."

"You're one point ahead, Uchiha. But I'm a nice guy, so I'm going to call it a game."

Juugo caught the ball, placing it on the table and balancing the paddle over it. Sasuke placed his paddle on the table as well.

"How charitable."

Sasuke leaned against the bench near the ping pong table.

"Actually, I have something to tell you before you leave."

"Hm?"

Juugo paused briefly.

"They're pulling me out of Konoha."

"Oh…"

Well, there went his only school friend with half a brain cell. He couldn't help but sound a little disheartened. Then again, he felt he shouldn't have taken the news so selfishly. Shouldn't this be about Juugo? Juugo had felt so horribly anxious and insecure about going back to school. He was failing his classes, and his ego couldn't stand the rumor mill like Sasuke's could. Actually, the shitstorm of gossip headed his way would be far worse than anything Sasuke or his friends had been submitted to.

"They're home schooling me now, at my own pace. That specialized tutor I told you about is going to work with me at the same time and see if we can't make the material stick. She's helped people a lot dumber than I am."

"Sounds promising."

"Yeah, I mean… This time I might actually  _learn_  something. It's something we've never tried before. The meds seem to be working pretty well too."

Sasuke was genuinely happy for Juugo, really. Sasuke's petty issues aside, it was fortunate that Juugo's parents weren't too stuck in their ways to change approaches. This was exactly what Juugo wanted. His schooling at Konoha was getting him nowhere.

"I'm glad you've got the opportunity. You deserve it."

Juugo instinctively leaned his head down towards Sasuke, smiling.

"I know you're probably a little bummed, but I live nearby and have a car, remember? We won't fall out of touch."

"I never said I was concerned," Sasuke insisted as he crossed his arms, "But good to know."

"Uh huh. And one other thing my mom wanted me to say. You want a job, right?"

"That would be ideal, yes."

"My mom wanted me to ask you if you wanted to tutor me. She said she'd pay fifteen bucks an hour."

Sasuke didn't feel right about accepting money from his best friend's mom to help him out with school. He'd done it for free in the past before anyhow.

"Juugo, you don't have to pay me for that."

"Look, Sasuke…" Juugo averted his eyes. "My parents know about Itachi and your financial situation, and they're practically chopping at the bit trying to ask me if there's any way they can help you. And besides, if it weren't for you, we'd just have to pay the specialty tutor even when we don't need someone that experienced, and she's more than twice as much. So you’d actually be saving us money."

It was hard for him to turn away that sort of money, as he really did need it pretty desperately. Itachi had lost a semester, so it wouldn't be for another couple years that he'd become an attorney and have a full-time job. In the meanwhile, they had bills to pay, food to eat, and perhaps treatment to afford.

He knew that Juugo’s parents weren’t just doing this out of pity. Sasuke had even tutored his classmates before, as it was a requirement of the National Junior Honor Society. He was a genuine genius, according to his grades and IQ scores. Despite being three years younger, he was years ahead of Juugo academically.

"She's not gonna let you do it for free, Sasuke. Don't bother trying."

Sasuke sighed, and Juugo gently pushed against Sasuke's shoulder.

"C'mon. It'll be fun if it's you instead of some stuffy tutor. You learn better when you're having fun."

Sasuke didn't like taking handouts, especially not from a friend's parents. But putting it in those terms made the pill a little easier to swallow.

"Alright already," he answered swatting his hand, sounding somewhat annoyed. "I'll do it."

Juugo grinned. Sasuke had only been around for about a half hour, but he got the feeling he actually made a difference.

* * *

His visit to Itachi was a little rougher, as Itachi had tried his damned best to return to the house for Christmas and failed. Itachi tried not to show his discouragement, but Sasuke knew his brother too well. He seemed to feel guilty about leaving Sasuke alone in the house, though Sasuke felt far worse leaving his brother in a hospital for Christmas. He was at least able to give Itachi the good news that he'd be making some cash tutoring now. Of course, Itachi didn't need to know the specifics.

Sasuke bought Itachi a hardcover copy of Catch-22, Sasuke's favorite book. He thought Itachi might like it too, though he'd probably finish it in a day or two. He wished he could have bought Itachi something better, but neither of them could afford to be spending money right now.

Sasuke stayed with him for several hours, watching cheesy Christmas movies on ABC Family until Itachi fell asleep. He wished he could've taken Itachi out of that place, if only for a day. Christmas just wasn't right without his brother and parents. Still, it wouldn't be too long until Itachi would go home. Just yesterday, he'd made it to the wall and back comfortably with his walker. He'd probably be out by New Year's, just like Itachi had said.

The robbery was only two days away. He'd done what he could to prevent it. He told himself that he shouldn't have any regrets, no matter what the consequences. Still, the date, December 27, loomed in his mind. And it would be around that time that Itachi would return from the hospital. That, along with the typical concern over Itachi and Juugo, caused Sasuke to fall rather short of the Christmas spirit.

All of these thoughts competed against each other in his head as he frowned, opening the door after returning from the hospital. His damp jeans slushed against the floor. He heard The Jingle Bell Rock playing the instant he let the outside air in.

The labor center had been closed today, so Naruto spent his efforts elsewhere. While Sasuke was gone, Naruto had cut red and green construction paper into snowflake chains and decorated the house with them. There was tinsel on the rail of the stairs and much of the family room.

They hadn't spoken a word to each other about Christmas, so Sasuke assumed that they were just going to disregard it. Maybe Naruto would make him a card and wish him a merry Christmas at the most. He really should've known Naruto better than that, he told himself. Sasuke wasn't exactly the festive sort, but he couldn't say the same about his boyfriend.

"Merry Christmas!" Naruto shouted, the moment Sasuke opened the door.

Naruto practically charged at Sasuke, whose mind went blank momentarily. He gave Sasuke a bear hug, lifting him off his feet and twirling him around for as long as his back would allow. Naruto certainly had been getting stronger.

"Yeah, you too," Sasuke answered, looking around the house.

"C'mon, lemme show you everything!"

He led Sasuke through the house and then to the Christmas tree. Said decoration was a rather small and sorry looking plastic green tree Naruto had borrowed from another labor center regular. He'd done what he could to spruce it up and even put red and green Christmas lights on it. Despite their rather unfortunate financial situation, he'd even managed to put gifts under it for Sasuke.

"Amazing, huh?" he asked with a cheesy grin.

"You should've told me you were gonna do all this. I didn't get you a present."

Sasuke had been so preoccupied with everyone else that he'd made a rather silly oversight. How the hell could Naruto, of all people, ever  _ignore_  Christmas? He should have seen this coming.

"Well, you could always put a ribbon on your dick, and uh…" Naruto laughed loudly. " _Rise_  to the occasion."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and regarded Naruto rather dully, who simply swatted at Sasuke. Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke, ruffling his hair. Sasuke supposed he didn't care much if Naruto fucked up his hair. He wasn't planning on going anywhere.

"Seriously dude, it was supposed to be a  _surprise_. I couldn't have you Scroogin' around all day."

Sasuke grunted, still feeling quite outdone.

"Sasuke, when's the last time you made cookies?"

"I can't remember."

"Look what I found!"

Naruto skidded through the kitchen on socks, a skill which Sasuke had reluctantly taught Naruto much earlier in their relationship. He raised up a box of sugar cookie mix that Itachi had bought on clearance several months ago, the orange sticker reading "$0.50."

Sasuke mused that cookie mix was one of those things that manage to somehow always be stocked even when you can hardly pay for food, along with canned veggies, Jello, and condiments. For two boys who could barely afford to feed themselves, they had a lot of ketchup.

"You have to have cookies on Christmas!"

Sasuke never really cared for Christmas, but he nodded slightly.

"Wait a second… Sasuke have you eaten today at all?"

Sasuke thought back over the day, trying to recount anything he might have eaten. Itachi had a couple bites of his lunch sandwich left over, so Sasuke had eaten that. Otherwise, nothing.

"A little."

"Pancakes!"

Sasuke tilted his head, giving Naruto a rather strange look, "Pancakes, at this time of day?"

Then again, it was one of the few things Naruto seemed to at least somewhat know how to cook.

"Pft! It's just a cakey thing with maple syrup. What about that makes it always a morning food? You eat cake at all times a day. So what is it? The maple syrup? In Canada, they eat all sorts of maple things all day. Once my friend went to Canada and got maple salad dressing, and…"

"Enough of your rambling," Sasuke interrupted.

"Dude, pancakes are totally Christmassy!"

Christmas  _morning_ , perhaps. But this could just as well have been Christmas morning, in all reality. Sasuke had into the living room to find presents under the tree and music playing, just like he had as a kid when he decided to start the holiday at six in the morning.

"Alright. We can make pancakes."

Naruto beamed at Sasuke while putting the cookie mix aside, taking out some Bisquick. Sasuke actually did like pancakes. Sure, they weren't exactly health food. But as long as they weren't drenched in syrup, they weren't so bad.

Naruto quickly had the ingredients ready, the music now switched over to "All I Want for Christmas Is You." Naruto gave Sasuke a look and a light smile as the song started, clearly making some connections. Sasuke merely looked away and fetched a pan. Naruto was mixing the ingredients, some of the batter falling onto the counter.

"Stop making such a mess."

"But the mix isn't mixing in right! I keep finding powder."

"Hand it over," Sasuke reached for the spoon.

"Hey, you act like I can't do it myself!"

Naruto whacked Sasuke's arm away.

"You can't. You're making a mess!"

Sasuke made another reach for the spoon.

"So? I'll clean it up. Let me do it."

Sasuke grunted.

"This is the only part I can do! You're gonna cook 'em," Naruto compromised. "I always burn them."

Sasuke waited for Naruto to finish mixing and refrained from criticizing his technique. It took a bit longer than was necessary, but after all that pulverizing, it was the perfect consistency. As Sasuke poured the batter onto the greased pan, flipping over one pancake after another, Naruto cleaned up the countertop.

It took a considerable amount of patience on Naruto's part not to grab for the first pancake. It was so fresh! Fluffy and hot too. But he waited. It was Christmas, dammit, and it was only for Sasuke that he'd wait. His stomach growled loudly.

"You can eat now if you want," Sasuke offered.

There were already four pancakes ready, and half the batter was gone. Naruto shook his head.

"Nope. Christmas dinner we have to start together."

It was a rather strange "dinner" they were making. Sasuke generated an eight pancake thick pile on the nearest plate quickly enough. Naruto had already set the table, leaving the butter out to come closer to room temperature and laying out the syrup. Naruto took one of the pancakes from the middle, the heat smothered in by the pancakes lying on top and bottom. Steam was still coming off of his food, and the smell was literally making him salivate. Sasuke joined him soon, casually taking off the top pancake.

"Merry Christmas!" Naruto proclaimed again because digging in.

"Yeah, Merry Christmas."

Sasuke didn't put syrup on his pancake this time. Meanwhile, Naruto's were swimming.

"Dude, what the hell is  _wrong_  with you?" Naruto asked, dramatically gesturing towards Sasuke's plate.

"I might ask the same of you. You're eating sugar water for dinner, Naruto," Sasuke sighed.

"You don't just eat pancakes…and  _not_  use syrup," Naruto informed Sasuke, shaking his head at his boyfriend's lunacy.

"Pancakes are naturally sweet. I don't need to immerse them in corn syrup to boot."

"It's  _maple_  syrup, Sasuke," Naruto corrected in a know-it-all tone of voice. "It comes from a tree."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, taking another bite of his pancakes. He  _had_  buttered them, at least. He pointed towards the bottle of Log Cabin syrup.

"That has just about as much maple in it as does my middle finger."

Sasuke flipped Naruto off with a playful smile, and Naruto laughed while gently punching Sasuke on the shoulder.

"Please, Sasuke, I wasn't born yesterday."

"I shouldn't have expected  _you_  to know such a thing, it seems," Sasuke sighed.

Frustrated by Sasuke's front, Naruto crossed his arms. Of course he'd act so damned smart. He was just trying to trick Naruto, appealing to his pride. The minute he gave in, Sasuke would tease him for being gullible.

"Sasuke, it's called  _maple_  syrup," Naruto said with a hint of frustration.

But Sasuke rotated his pointer finger in a circle patronizingly, lowering his face to Naruto's level.

"Read the back."

Naruto stared at Sasuke for a few seconds. If he turned that bottle over…  _That_ would give Sasuke proof that he'd tricked him. It would be Sasuke's victory, and he would never let it go! Sasuke crossed his arms and seemed to be looking at him impatiently. All part of the act, no doubt.

Thus, Naruto was rather shocked when Sasuke easily jerked the bottle out of his unsuspecting hands and began to read.

"Ingredients:  _Corn syrup_ ," Sasuke enunciated the first ingredient clearly and glanced at Naruto rather arrogantly. Naruto crossed his arms and looked away with a pout. Sasuke continued, "Liquid sugar, water…"

"Fine, already!" Naruto jerked the bottle out of Sasuke's hand, reading hurriedly. Sasuke waited for Naruto's reaction as his eyes darted over the ingredients list. "There's…"

The look on Naruto's face almost made Sasuke feel guilty. Well, it was about time someone told him the truth. After all, you can't go on believing in Santa Claus forever.

"No maple…" he said quietly, and Sasuke swore he saw his lip quiver.

Sasuke was silent, allowing Naruto time to process his loss of innocence.

"Why the hell would they call it maple syrup if there's no maple?!" Naruto asked, wildly gesturing to the offending syrup bottle with outrage.

"It's artificially flavored."

"Then…" Naruto shoved the bottle to the side distastefully. "Is… I mean why even have maple syrup at all then? I mean is maple even an actual thing?"

"Are you suggesting that maple trees are imaginary?" Sasuke asked, his brow arched, crossing his arms on the table and leaning into them.

"I don't know, okay!" Naruto shouted. "A lot of confusing things are happening right now!"

Naruto had subconsciously moved his chair a few inches from the table, his arms nowhere near it. Sasuke let out a deep sigh. He really didn't know this would unsettle Naruto so much.

"There  _is_  real maple syrup. They sell it by St. Magdalene's for like fifteen bucks a bottle."

"What?! So real maple syrup is only for the rich, and we all just gotta eat sugar water? This is some serious bullshit. This is…totally… _wrong_. It's just plain wrong!"

Naruto grasped the bottle back, his brows furrowed into anger as he read the back label. He picked up the landline and quickly began dialing.

"Naruto, what the hell are you doing?" Sasuke asked with a frustrated sigh.

"I'm making a difference!"

"Wash your hands right now. Your fingers are sticky."

Naruto was pacing around the dining room table now. He sighed, finally acquiescing and rinsing off his hands.

"Who are you calling?"

"I'm calling Log Cabin customer affairs! The number's on the back along with the proof of their  _lies_."

Sasuke's bangs fell forward as he rubbed his temples and tried to burrow a little farther into his jacket. Shit, it was cold, or at least it was for Sasuke's Californian blood. But they still refused to run the heat. He couldn't believe the idiot was taking this so far…

"It's not just Log Cabin. Aunt Jemima, Mrs. Butterworth…"

Naruto was horrified by the words leaving Sasuke's lips, as if he were reading out a death toll after a war. Maybe Naruto had recognized a few of his friends and relatives.

"Well I have to start somewhere, don't I?!"

"Naruto…"

"Shit! It's closed!"

"Closed for Christmas? Imagine that," Sasuke commented sarcastically. Naruto was forced to hang up the phone and sit back at the table, beholding his pancakes he'd so ignorantly drowned in "maple" syrup.

"Eat your pancakes."

"They  _lied_  to me," Naruto said sulkily, tucking his chin in as he crossed his arm.

"It's on the bottle, jackass. Read before you eat."

"You're taking their side?!"

"Eat your fucking pancakes."

"I can't. It hurts my integrity."

Sasuke shrugged.

"Well, I'm not going to eat it. You destroyed them. We'll just…" Sasuke paused, glancing at Naruto for full effect. "Throw them away."

Naruto looked at Sasuke like a small child who had for the first time heard their parent drop the F bomb. He was faced with a dire dilemma. The food before him represented dishonesty and disillusionment, the shattering of his naïve beliefs. However, there existed an evil far worse than deception.

"I've changed my mind. I will eat these pancakes. The ultimate evil is…" Naruto hung his head. "Throwing away perfectly good food. I'd go straight to hobo hell."

He began to eat, quickly now.

"Even the front of the bottle doesn't have the word 'maple' written on it."

Naruto looked at the bottle, which read, "Log Cabin Syrup."

"It doesn't even… I feel like the world's biggest dumbass."

"I see you're finally accepting reality."

Naruto whacked Sasuke over the head quickly.

"I said  _feel_ _!_ Not  _am_ _!_ There's a difference!"

Naruto was now enjoying his pancakes for what they truly were: starchy little bread patties covered with artificially flavored corn syrup. There was a certain honesty in this knowledge, and he felt that he fully accepted his meal, for all of its strengths and flaws. He was very much at peace as he guzzled down the caramel dyed syrup.

"Knock it off, dumbass," Sasuke shot back, flicking Naruto's cheek with his pointer finger.

Naruto griped for a while before returning to his meal. Sasuke stopped at two pancakes, and Naruto was finishing his fourth.

"Guh, I'm getting full…"

So was Sasuke, honestly. He didn't need as much to eat as Naruto did.

"Leftovers?"

Naruto nodded, fetching a bag for the pancakes while Sasuke worked away at his own plate. He took his own plate to the sink and washed it out with warm water and soap. He heard Sasuke pull out his chair.

"Gimme your plate. I'll wash it."

"Thanks," Sasuke responded, handing Naruto his nearly clean plate, fork, and knife. Pancakes weren't such a messy food when no syrup was involved.

He relaxed against the kitchen wall as Naruto cleaned, silently watching him work as his mind wandered. Naruto's hands and forearms were sudsy up to the elbows, and Naruto was temporarily distracted by a rogue soap bubble floating up towards the ceiling.

"Cookie time?" Naruto asked with a molar to molar smile.

"You're  _still_  hungry?"

"Well no… But cookies take a while to bake. Besides, we gotta wait for 'em to cool, or the icing just melts."

"Alright. We'll use the same bowl for the cookie batter."

Naruto set it out for Sasuke, who was now perusing the directions for cookie dough. He set the oven and dried off the wet bowl with a paper towel. Naruto, meanwhile, was shaking his hands off. Sasuke gave Naruto the damp paper towel to dry them with. Naruto began to peer over Sasuke's shoulder for a better look at the instructions. His breath was impossibly sweet.

Naruto was allowed to carefully pour the mix into the bowl if Sasuke was allowed to crack the egg. This tended to be Naruto's favorite part, but Sasuke didn't trust Naruto with the only egg in their refrigerator. Naruto was also given the pleasure of mixing up the dough, yet again, if he promised to be neater this time around. Naruto mushed it all together, grinning before he dunked his finger and neared it to his mouth. Sasuke grabbed his arm.

"That has raw egg in it."

"And it's delicious," Naruto responded, trying again to consume in the well-earned treat. He'd gotten the dough on his fingers this time and was just about to eat.

"If you eat this, you'll get no Christmas kisses. It's one thing if you want to risk puking for two weeks because of salmonella poisoning, but I'm not catching salmonella because you can't wait twenty minutes to bake some fucking cookies."

Naruto stared at Sasuke, laughing as he shook his head, "Dude, c'mon… It's just cookie dough."

"You're not supposed to eat raw egg," Sasuke told him severely. "That's common sense."

Naruto let out a loud, exasperated sigh, "Yeah, everyone  _says_  that. But who's never eaten cookie dough?"

"I've never eaten cookie dough."

All of Naruto's body parts seemed to immediately fail him and relax. His jaw seemed especially affected, dropping abruptly as he stared at Sasuke in shock and sick curiosity. Dammit, if the maple syrup conspiracy had been wrong, this was _incorrigible_. Eating raw cookie dough is an unwritten right of childhood. It's part of the job description. Sasuke had been deprived.

" _Never_?"

"Never."

"Why not?"

"My mom wouldn't let me. Said I'd get salmonella."

Naruto shook his head.

"Dude, Sasuke… I can't tell you how many times I've eaten cookie dough, and I've never gotten salmonella. Live a little."

Sasuke shook his head.

"It probably tastes almost like straight sugar anyway."

Naruto walked up towards Sasuke, placing one hand on his shoulder as he stared deeply into Sasuke's eyes.

"Sasuke, you could  _die_  tomorrow. You could die without ever having the very basic experience of eating cookie dough. You'd have to deal with the gnawing  _regret_  of that."

"I suspect I'd be too busy being dead to regret not eating cookie dough."

"I'm…uggghhhh," Naruto was trying to compose himself and deliver his point as convincingly as possible. "I'm just trying to say that you need to experience life! You could die any day, so eat the fucking cookie dough!"

"What if I die  _because_  of the cookie dough? How would you feel then?" Sasuke asked with a malicious little smile.

"Dude no… Don't go there."

Naruto still had the cookie dough on his fingers.

"Eat it."

He shoved his fingers towards Sasuke's mouth. Sasuke tilted his head away and glared at Naruto.

"No."

"C'mon dude, haven't you seen  _Rocky_? He ate like…raw egg smoothies! And did he die? No! He became a fucking boxing world champion!"

"That was a movie, Naruto," Sasuke told him tiredly.

"And here you are, bitchin' and moanin' about one little egg."

"I have  _no interest_ , dipshit."

"Oh, I get it…" Naruto paused, grinning. "You're  _scared_."

"Are you seriously suggesting that I'm  _afraid_  of cookie dough?" Sasuke asked flatly.

"Well, apparently you're afraid of flowers. I'm not sayin' you're a pussy, but your track record with unreasonable phobias is a little eh."

"I'm  _not_  afraid of flowers," Sasuke corrected testily. "I find plant roots unpleasant."

"You shouted and threw it across the plot."

"It was flying for my face. It's called a reflex."

"Oh yes…" Naruto said in a quaking tone to mock him. "Reflex. Self-defense! Oh no! It's a flower! I've taken a daisy to the hip!"

Naruto began to hobble around the kitchen dramatically.

"Sasuke buddy, call me an ambulance. I think they're gonna have to amputate. Oh GOD no, a begonia!"

Naruto veered to the right, dodging the imaginary object.

"Quick, run down to the bomb shelter with the kids! The terror! This is no  _world_. This is hell!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes at Naruto's display, opening his mouth to cut in before Naruto sprang into action again.

"Stand back!" Naruto yelled, placing his arms in front of Sasuke and pushing Sasuke behind him. "I'll save you!"

"Jesus Christ, I'm not afraid of flowers!" Sasuke nearly shouted.

"I call total bullshit! I saw the look of fear on your face that day!"

"I'm not afraid of flowers! It's the roots!"

"Ah HAH!" Naruto said, pointing at Sasuke menacingly with his cookie-dough laden second finger. "You admit it! You're afraid of plant roots!"

"I never said that."

"It was implied.  _Heavily implied_."

"I'm not afraid of them! They're just gross!"

"Just like you're not afraid of cookie dough?" Naruto asked, arching a brow.

Sasuke crossed his arms, looked away, and huffed, just like he normally tended to. Naruto had seen it coming. He put his finger in front of Sasuke's face.

"Eat it."

"No."

"Hmm… Maybe you'd like to check out your flower garden in a little more detail."

Sasuke paused, staring at Naruto.

"Isn't the vascular system of plants interesting? Those roots, all around the ground, reaching everywhere. Such a wide spread that you don't even know where they are. Probably an inch underneath your feet though, sucking at the dirt and trying to even suck at you! Let's observe."

"No."

"It's okay. Since you don't want to eat cookie dough, I could always bring it inside for a hands-on demonst-"

Naruto's word cut off abruptly. Sasuke had tightly grasped his forearm and had moved Naruto's finger to his mouth, sucking on it lazily. Cool eyes stared directly at Naruto as Sasuke's tongue lapped up the remaining dough. Naruto could've sworn he felt the temperature rise. Now, if only a certain other body part had been in Sasuke's mouth at the time. There, Sasuke thought. That would shut him up.

"It was far too sweet."

"Why is it that everything you do reminds me of sex?" Naruto inquired honestly, before his brain got a chance to tell his mouth to cram it.

"Because you're a horny sixteen-year-old boy with a boyfriend too attractive for his uncontrollable sex drive to handle, and you're stuck with him in a house, alone, without parental supervision."

"Mmmm, baby, I love it when you talk dirty to me," Naruto told him with a wink.

"Trust me. I'm well aware."

Naruto swallowed, staring at Sasuke's pale lips a little harder as they settled into their traditional smirk. Normally it was Sasuke's dark eyes that left Naruto helpless. His bangs just barely went past his jawbone. Naruto suddenly found himself with an insatiable urge to kiss him.

Naruto rested his hand on Sasuke's face, looking at him hesitantly, almost as if asking for permission. Sasuke moved forward, kissing Naruto slowly, both of his arms hanging straight down on either side of his body. He slid his tongue over Naruto's, the taste between them so incredibly sweet from the cookie dough and the "maple" syrup. Naruto's tongue lethargically rubbed against his own as his hand pushed a soft chunk of hair behind Sasuke's ear, petting him softly.

Sasuke rested his hands on either side of Naruto's hips, but he didn't pull their bodies closer together. No, this wasn't as lust-filled as their normal romps, despite the rather provocative lead in. Both of them were able to move at the same slow and steady pace, neither getting bested by their hormones.

They'd been living together for months now. This was no longer new territory. They were both so much more controlled than they had been at the start, but they were just as passionate. Sasuke was sure they'd have incidents like the old ones as well, when both of them seemed to be in a desperate competition to undress the other first. But this was something new, these mellow yet intimate caresses. Sasuke wondered if this was just one of the things that could happen as relationships matured.

Sasuke rubbed his head into Naruto's hand, opening his eyes to glance back at Naruto briefly. Their lips parted, and Naruto smiled back at him. The younger draped both arms around Naruto's back, unsure of what motivated him to do so, and loosely embraced him. Why? It was Christmas. He thought it would be horrible and lonely, or at best, bearable. Sasuke leaned his head against Naruto's shoulder, and Naruto followed suit.

Sasuke wanted to cherish this. He didn't want to think about losing Naruto. It was Christmas, and they were making pancakes and cookies and bantering about stupid shit, and there was a tree, and presents, and Naruto was here  _now_. He had to appreciate that while he still could. Sasuke could feel him breathing, feel his body's warmth.

Naruto knew he was safe with Sasuke here. Whether or not he could stay in the Uchiha household, he didn't know. But just for now, Sasuke could protect him. There was no sleeping in parks, huddling up to blankets for warmth, or group homes. Just this house, now so distinctly smelling like breakfast, the holiday season, and Sasuke.

They parted slightly, their foreheads pressed against each other as they stared down at the ground. Naruto was the first to look up at Sasuke, having to incline his chin just slightly for the height difference.

"What an irresponsible boyfriend, putting me at risk for salmonella," Naruto chided softly.

"Live a little," Sasuke responded with a faint smile, using Naruto's words against him.

They kissed one more time, just a peck on the lips before they separated, Sasuke glancing over at the bowl of batter.

"Now, if you don't mind…" Naruto announced, moving through and dunking his hand in the cookie dough, munching on a large glob.

"Sexy," Sasuke remarked sarcastically.

Naruto merely grinned back with a mouth full of cookie dough. He began to ball the dough into appropriately sized lumps, placing them on the tray along with Sasuke. However, every cookie or two, Naruto found it necessary to take another bite of the dough.

"There aren't going to be any cookies left if you keep stuffing your face like that."

"But the dough! What's the point of even making cookies if you don't getta eat some of the dough? You might as well just buy it from the store."

"You've eaten  _plenty_  of dough."

"Can never have enough dough, bro," Naruto said, starting to laugh. Sasuke crossed his arms, sighed, and tapped his foot.

"Get it? Cuz it rhymes, but also you know…dough, as in money, which you can never have enough of."

Sasuke momentarily felt embarrassed for associating with the guy, even in the privacy of his own home.

"Ingenious."

He lifted up the wrack, finally prepared, and put it in the oven. He turned up the temperature to 350.

"Presents!" Naruto exclaimed, jumping up and pulling Sasuke to the tree. Sasuke followed, though with a little less gusto than his lover.

"But first!" Naruto interrupted, pointing his finger in the air. "You must put the star on the tree."

Sasuke sat on the couch, waiting for Naruto to rummage through some decorations to look for the star. He finally found it, staring at Sasuke eagerly as he placed it into his hand. It was made out of several long silver twist ties with glittery extensions, bent together to make a rather dilapidated star.

"Put it on the tree!" Naruto told Sasuke, barely able to contain himself. "It's the finishing touch!"

Sasuke walked over to the tree, which leveled off at halfway between his knee and hip. He bent over and attached the star to the top of the tree, twisting the tie around the top branch. The negligible weight caused the branch to slouch, the star hanging crookedly but still upright.

"Hell yeah!" Naruto cheered, tackling Sasuke from the side as if he'd just scored a game-winning point and kissing his cheek. "Merry Christmas!"

Sasuke looked at the rather pathetic tree, the construction paper decorations, and the twisty tie star. Naruto didn't need a lot to be happy. He was probably just relieved to have a tree at all, or even a roof to spend Christmas under. What was last Christmas like for Naruto, anyway?

Maybe the actual act of placing the star on the tree was rather anticlimactic, but Naruto's reaction certainly wasn't. Sasuke remembered the way he'd felt the time he'd bought Naruto ice cream at the park, the first day they'd run into each other outside of St. Magdalene's. Such exuberance over something so mundane. His expression now was very similar. Sasuke smiled, despite himself.

"Yeah, Merry Christmas to you too. Yet again."

"Now…  _Presents!_ "

This was the undying enthusiasm Sasuke was so accustomed to when he'd first met Naruto. He wondered if Naruto knew that this might be a particularly difficult Christmas for him and was trying to distract him. Whatever the case, he was doing an excellent job. Sasuke had hardly a moment to think.

Naruto was already dragging him to sit down by the tree, Naruto quickly falling his knees. Sasuke followed with him. It was a shame that not a single present under this tree was for Naruto. He was still kicking himself for getting so caught up, but of course he wouldn't let Naruto see that.

"Here!"

He crammed a small package to him, and Sasuke's pressing fingers recognized a telltale texture. Hard noodles. Sasuke opened it to find a Top Ramen bag, creamy chicken flavored.

"Are you sure that was for me?"

"We can eat it together!"

Naruto already picked up the next present and tossed it towards Sasuke. It seemed to be spherical, and the wrap job was rather ghastly. There were bits of scotch tape fastening down rogue pieces of paper. To give Naruto credit, wrapping something spherical might have just been one of the most difficult tasks known to mankind. Really, just go for a gift basket.

Sasuke pulled back the massive reserves of tape, revealing a bright yellow ball with a black happy face on it. "Smile more," was written on the back.

"It's a stress ball, see?" Naruto told Sasuke, giving the ball a squeeze, the features morphing and reforming slowly.

Sasuke gave it a squeeze of his own, the tendons in his slim wrist showing dramatically.

"I thought it'd do ya good, because you're so tense all the time. Maybe it'll teach you to chill a little!"

"Smile more?" Sasuke asked skeptically, reading the back.

"Yeah, you know, I saw something on TV the other day complaining that the average man smiles eight times a day."

"Really now?"

"And you smile what… Eight times a month? Eight times a year?"

"I smile almost every day, dumbass," Sasuke griped.

"No," Naruto butted in, "You generally make that expression when you think you're better than someone else. You do this…crooked little lip raise smirk thing, just before you're about to say something insulting. See, like this…"

Naruto tried his best to imitate Sasuke's smirk, but it fell rather short. He looked like perhaps he'd had some sort of nerve damage around the mouth region and was doing his best to compensate, or was perhaps sick to his stomach. He pointed to his face before declaring, " _This_  is not a smile."

"Christ, I'd hope not."

"I can count on one hand how many times I've seen you smile open-mouthed. C'mon, Sasuke, I wanna see those pearly whites."

"Yes, and I want a Lamborghini. It's not gonna happen."

"Come  _oooon_ ," Naruto whined. "I got you presents for Christmas, even if they're all ghetto, and the tree is about to collapse. And all I'm asking for is just one Christmas present."

"My smile? That's what you want for Christmas?" Sasuke asked, arching a brow.

"Yup! You got some nice pearly whites. Use 'em!"

Sasuke shook his head.

"That's pretty corny."

"Well, ya might as well open your last present under the tree before you make up your mind. Here."

Naruto handed him an orange envelope. A card? No, it felt too pliable. A letter? Sasuke very neatly ripped through the seal, Naruto impatiently leaning in close. He pulled out a black and white piece of newspaper print, the edge of it slightly ripped. There was a picture of a large bowl of soup on it with chicken and a dinner roll, and it read:

"St. Magdalene's Soup Kitchen!  
Every Thursday, 5:30 to 8:30, rain or shine!  
Everyone is welcome!"

Sasuke held the paper in his hand, flipping it over in search of some sort of date. He could find none.

"What's this?"

Naruto looked down.

"Several months before I met you, I found this in a Burger King parking lot. I thought free food sounded great, ya know?"

He peered up at Sasuke, smiling.

"So I decided to check this whole St. Magdalene's thing out, and the people there were so nice! I felt like I fit in. It pulled me through some rough times. So… I decided to keep the clipping."

So this was how Naruto had found out about the soup kitchen at St. Magdalene's? This was the same newspaper he'd read? He couldn't believe that Naruto had kept it with him all of this time, especially given that both his belongings and Naruto himself had no home. Sasuke was watching him quietly, White Christmas playing in the background.

"But the real kicker is that that's where I met you, and… You changed everything," Naruto said, his voice going quiet.

"Hey, Sasuke…" Naruto began, after he composed himself. "What did you do last Christmas?"

"Honestly?" Sasuke frowned.

Reporting the truth was, perhaps, against his better judgment.

"Honestly."

"Itachi couldn't make it. He tried, but his boss was a dick and said he'd fire him if he didn't show up on Christmas Day. It was my first Christmas since…yeah, and I was all alone. They had me on Xanax at the time, so… I just took a bunch in the morning and passed out until the next day," Sasuke admitted, frowning and looking towards the wall.

It would have been the worst Christmas of Sasuke's life if he could've even remembered half of it. He couldn't bear it. He'd lost his parents just three months ago, and the place felt so lonely. His house had gone from four occupants to, currently, one. The very last thing he wanted to do was be conscious, so he slept through it. Binging on panic attack meds just to get through Christmas made for a rather depressing Yuletide story. He hated to put such a damper in the mood, and Naruto seemed pained to hear it.

"What about you?"

"Me? Ah…" Naruto started, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "It was my first Christmas on the streets. I just kinda hung out and people watched. Some really nice family gave me a Christmas plate with tin foil over it, so I at least wasn't starving. The food was really good."

Neither of them had particularly outstanding Christmases last year, though Naruto was able to put a positive spin on his own. He seemed to be able to put a positive spin on everything.

"It's the damnedest thing, how just finding that clipping changed my whole life. Here I am this Christmas, with you, and a roof over my head, and food, and I'm safe, and…" Naruto wrapped his arm around Sasuke's back, kneeling next to him over the presents. He held Sasuke's body close, as if he might disappear. "And you're  _here_."

Naruto wiped at his eye, which was beginning to water. Sasuke frowned, slightly, reaching out to Naruto. They were together, for who knew how much longer. Sasuke prayed that this wouldn't be their last Christmas.

"No, it's cool," Naruto answered, beaming back at him. "Happy tears."

"Naruto…"

"So…" he continued, gently pushing Sasuke's hands, which clasped the newspaper clipping, towards his body. "I thought that you deserved to have it."

"Thank you," Sasuke answered softly, holding it for a while before neatly placing it on the coffee table.

"So…" Naruto asked mischievously. "How 'bout that smile?"

"Naruto… I actually wish I could for you, but I don't think my face works that way."

Naruto guffawed, slapping Sasuke on the back, "Your face doesn't  _work_  that way? You have a stroke or something?"

"No, it's just… It'd look fake."

Sasuke really did want to try. At this point, Naruto had earned it. But he just didn't seem to react to things the way most people did. He could be sad without crying. He could be afraid without quivering. And he could be happy without smiling. And his dignity wouldn't allow for creepy-looking forced smiles.

"Okay," Naruto stated, resting his chin on his hands. "Let's test this. Smile as big as you can."

Sasuke actually gave some effort. His lips didn't open, but the sides of his lips inched forward barely. It was that basic "I don't want to be here" expression people tended to give in photographs they were ordered to smile in.

"Good! Now, crank up the volume."

Sasuke wasn't getting very far.

"Um…" Naruto squinted his eyes, thinking. "Weiner dogs. Pupu platter. A platypus in a fight with a dodo bird. People who say huh-what instead of what."

Again, no progress, other than an arched brow.

"Come on, Sasuke! Smile! You can do it!"

"It'd just come out wrong. I don't think…"

"Okay!" Naruto answered with a knowing smile. "I got a last ditch effort. Close your eyes."

"What's the meaning of this?"

"It's your  _real_  last Christmas present."

Sasuke sighed, becoming rather tired of this pursuit.

"Alright…"

He heard Naruto walk upstairs. Clearly, this wasn't something he could've put under the Christmas tree. He walked down the stairs, slowly, and Sasuke could've  _sworn_  he heard a faint sound that wasn't human.

"Ssshhh," Naruto spoke quietly.

And now, on Sasuke's lap rested something warm. And furry. Wonderful, Sasuke thought. Naruto had done the stereotypical Christmas thing and bought them something stupid like a puppy dog with a bow on its head. Though according to these oddly familiar meows, its weight, and the structure of its feet, it appeared to be a cat.

It was so like Naruto, to have such a big heart and such a little brain as to take some bratty animal in with such horrible timing. Probably a stray. What was Naruto thinking? They could barely afford to take care of  _themselves_. A cat was a big commitment. Great. Now they were stuck with some needy feline to clean up after. Would it kill him to be a little more practical?

"Open your eyes," Naruto told him, his voice full of excitement.

And Sasuke did. He opened his eyes, with a look of frustrated boredom that quickly gave way to unadulterated shock. His mind went blank, and his heartbeat began to flutter. How was this possible?

Naruto's jobs at the labor center had taken him all over town. He'd worked at McDonald's, the sewage plant, the landfill, the garden of a convalescent home… Eight days ago, he was lucky enough to work at an animal shelter, though his job was pretty much just cleaning animal hair and shit off of cages and floors. Eventually, he came across a rather friendly looking cat. Naruto put his face up to the bars, and the cat immediately came forward, mewing rather forlornly. A shelter worker nearby was filing some papers.

"He's a friendly little guy. What's his name?"

"Ferret," she answered with a smile. "She's one of the sweetest cats here."

Ferret… Ferret… Hadn't Sasuke said he'd had a cat named Ferret? But she'd died in the fire.

"How'd he get named Ferret?" Naruto asked, staring at the cat and mistaking her gender once again.

"When we found her, her nametag only said 'Ferret.' So we kept the name."

Naruto wracked his mind for any description Sasuke had given of his late cat. They'd once had a chat about all the pets they'd had over their lifetimes, including Naruto's pet pigeon and squirrel. He remembered Sasuke mentioning that the cat was grey and white with green eyes. She had a white stripe going between her eyes that lay more to the left, but her most striking distinction was that she had six toes. The cat in front of him met all of those descriptions, except that her paws were mostly obscured by the bars.

"Hey, can I hold her?"

"I don't see why not."

The worker unhinged the cage, handing Naruto the cat. He grabbed her front paw, separated the toes, and…

Six toes.

"Hey! Hey!" Naruto exclaimed, hardly able to contain his enthusiasm.

"Yes?"

"I know the guy who owns this cat! He lost her last year!"

"That's wonderful!" the woman said. "We've been trying to find a home for Ferret for so long, but it's hard with older animals, you know?"

"My only request is that you hold her 'til Christmas. I wanna surprise him."

"Well, we've held her this long. Sure."

Naruto hadn't just been decorating while Sasuke was at the hospital this morning. He took a quick bus ride to the animal shelter and bailed Ferret out once and for good, setting her in his lap with a dopey grin on his face as he rode the bus home.

The cat looked up at Sasuke, giving a quiet "mew" before burrowing between his arm and his chest, refusing to come out. The two hadn't seen each other in a year. Sasuke had assumed she was dead. After all, he'd practically slammed the door in her face as he stormed off after that fight with his father, too angry to mind the scenery. He felt like he unknowingly trapped her to be burned alive. He'd blamed himself.

Sasuke lost  _everything_  in the fire. It wasn't just his parents. The destruction of all of his electronics and clothing was just a mild annoyance compared to the damage that had been done. It didn't break his heart the way that having every present, card, and note from his parents devoured by flame did. All of his parents' clothing, jewelry, recipes, and favorite knick knacks were destroyed. Every single one of his pictures of his late grandmother, the pen he'd found on the ground after his first kiss, his basketball trophies, that wretched violin his dad made him play, his yearbooks… All gone. All he owned from his life up until then was his brother, one outfit, and text messages on a cell phone.

He'd assumed Ferret had just been one among the rest. He'd locked her in the house. And with all the commotion, with planning the funerals, wrapping up all the loose ends of their parents' financial business, finding a new house, moving, Itachi's job and schooling, Child Protective Services trying to place Sasuke into foster care, and Sasuke's psychiatric state… Finding a cat already presumed dead couldn't demand too much priority. There was no way Ferret could have lived.

Yet here she was. Sasuke and Ferret were the only ones who had escaped from the house that night. She curled up in his lap, purring more contently than he'd heard since she was a kitten. She'd finally been reunited with her owner, one year later. She was the only thing left from that day, and he was holding her. Warm. Alive. And there was Naruto's Christmas present, right on Sasuke's face.

"What the hell?" Sasuke asked, laughing, the corner of his eyes crinkled from his wide smile, molar to molar, just like his boyfriend.

Sasuke couldn't stop petting the cat, scratching her ears, a low rolling of purrs accompanying his movements.

"How is this even possible? I closed the door on her, Naru."

"She must've gotten out somehow," he answered, smiling at Sasuke. He never wanted to forget the look on Sasuke's face right now.

"How'd you find her?"

"The center sent me to an animal shelter last week. They had her listed as Ferret, and I recognized her from your description and her toes."

"Holy shit…" Sasuke answered, still in a state of shock. He held the cat up closer to him, staring down at her. He could've sworn on his life she was dead.

"Hey, Ferret…" Sasuke whispered, gently stroking the soft fur on Ferret's head and neck. Why did he almost feel like crying? He'd hold it in. He was still smiling widely, his lips closed now. "Hey…"

Ferret looked up at Sasuke curiously, licking his wrist again before butting her head into his hand to request more pets.

"Thank you, Naruto," Sasuke said with a slight quiver to his voice, looking up at Naruto as he pet Ferret's face with his thumb.

"Well duh! I wasn't just gonna leave her there or something!"

Sasuke shook his head, laughing.

"Itachi's going to flip his shit."

Ferret had been a family cat, but she had originally been bought for Itachi, who, to this day, refused to disclose why he'd named her Ferret. This would be a nice surprise for him to come home to. His favorite pet had essentially come back from the dead.

They were distracted by a rather unpleasant aroma coming from the kitchen. They both looked at each other. Shit. The cookies.

Sasuke moved quickly in, Ferret following closely behind. Naruto grabbed Ferret to keep him safe from anything that might have happened to be burning. Without hesitation, Sasuke grabbed a towel off the stove wrack and opened the oven. A large cloud of smoke came out, revealing some charred black cookies. Sasuke removed them quickly and shut the oven, turning it off.

"Sasu… Are you…okay?"

Sasuke cast Naruto an odd look before realization dawned. Right. Naruto had assumed that once again, the smoke would be a trigger for Sasuke. Yet Sasuke dove right into the stove without even a hint of anxiety in his mind. In fact, the connection to the fire hadn't even occurred to him. Something like this would have easily set off a panic attack, even just a month or two ago.

"Yeah, I'm fine, though I can't say the same for the cookies."

Sasuke grabbed the tray and moved for the trash can.

"Wait!"

"You  _can't_  be serious," Sasuke stated, staring at Naruto skeptically.

"Don't throw away food!"

"Naruto, this is inedible. It's practically carbonized."

"No!" Naruto ordered, placing Ferret on the ground again, who curled up next to Sasuke's feet. "It's a little bitter, sure, but that's why we got the icing!"

Sasuke stared at Naruto with a mixture of disgust, shock, and sick curiosity as he caked on an inch thick layer of white icing onto the cookie. He shoved it in his mouth, the cookie crunching loudly as he consumed it.

"Owww! Ow, hawt!" he spoke through the mangled dessert, jumping from foot to foot.

He finally finished, swallowing hard.

"Okay… Maybe not," Naruto conceded meekly.

"I'd think not."

Naruto grinned at Sasuke triumphantly, regardless.

"Aren't you glad you ate the cookie dough?"


	47. Chapter 47

It was December 27, 5 PM. Sasuke visited Itachi early. He had good reason to be home early that night. He wanted to be there in case it became necessary, as in just five hours, Suigetsu and Kabuto would leave for that wretched business.

For better or for worse, things would change after today. Either Suigetsu and Kabuto would become miraculously rich, or one or both of them would be stuck behind prison bars or worse.

Sasuke was taking Itachi on another one of his walks. Itachi stood without issue. He walked towards the door, unaided, at a slow and steady pace. Sasuke followed him with the walker, prepared to give it to Itachi at any time he might require it. He opened the door for his older brother as Itachi stood at the threshold, taking a deep breath and composing himself before starting down the hallway.

Itachi had told Sasuke that he was going to make it home by New Year's, and Itachi was pressing himself for this deadline. He'd apparently regarded it as something of a promise. If he'd had to leave his kid brother alone for Christmas twice in a row, he sure as hell wouldn't leave him alone for New Year's too. And the only thing he could do about it was walk.

Sasuke cast Itachi a nod, moving with Itachi as they plodded forward. He didn't appear to be feeling uncomfortable until about one third of the way to the wall. His pace slowed, but he kept moving, one hand against the wall. Half of the way there, he was panting and hunching forward.

“Itachi…” Sasuke mumbled, giving Itachi a concerned glance. “Take it easy.”

Itachi ignored it and kept going. Two thirds through, his steps started to sway. His right ankle gave way, causing him to stumble over his foot briefly.

"Hey,” Sasuke interrupted in a much more assertive tone of voice.

"I have to make it to the wall," Itachi pressed, pausing and leaning against a wall, catching his breath in long inhales.

"You're just tired because it's late. Save it for the morning."

Sasuke knew that this would be a much kinder and more effective way of getting Itachi to stop, rather than insinuating that he wasn’t strong enough yet.

"No…" Itachi protested, separating himself from the wall and going a couple more steps.

Sasuke could understand Itachi's frustration. He really could. He was so damned close to that wall, separated by just a handful of feet now. If he had only been able to go a  _little_  bit farther, it would have probably meant getting discharged the next day.

"It's the morning nurse that makes the call, not me. If you don't push yourself so damned hard, you just might be able to come home tomorrow."

Itachi's brows knitted as he scowled at the cream colored wall, a symbol of his predicament. It wouldn't be very long, Sasuke realized. His brother would certainly keep his promise. He'd been showing remarkable progress, as usual. Of course, Sasuke was thrilled. He tried to ignore that growing queasiness in his gut, realizing that his days playing the married couple with Naruto were so few.

Itachi turned back with a scowl, but it only took a few more steps for Itachi to need a rest, bracing himself against the wall while panting. Sasuke silently offered Itachi the walker; he accepted without complaint.

Tantalized by the wall and how damned close he could get to it, Itachi had pushed himself too hard. Sasuke hoped that this wouldn't come back to bite Itachi in the ass the next morning. Around the time that Sasuke had to leave anyhow, Itachi began to sleep. He'd exhausted himself. Sasuke went home and tried to distract himself from what he knew was currently occurring by watching Fight Club with Naruto into the later hours of the night.

They were both lying down together on the couch, wrapped in a thick red blanket. Ferret slept on Sasuke's lap, as she seemed magnetically drawn to the teen the past two days. Ferret wouldn't let Sasuke out of her sight if she could help it, probably terrified of losing her owners and home again.

As Sasuke showered this morning, she curled up in a tight ball underneath the warmed porcelain of the shower. Sasuke hated to think of how long Ferret could have been looking for them before getting picked up, probably mulling around that old plot.

Sasuke's phone was on the coffee table, with the ring tone volume turned up on full blast. Sasuke glanced at it for the time, noting that it was about an hour before midnight. Kabuto and Suigetsu had left about an hour ago, if they'd started off on time. Naruto nudged Sasuke with his foot, covered with a white sock.

"Try not to think about it. The watched pot never boils, ya know."

"Think about what?"

Naruto didn't buy Sasuke's feigned ignorance, bringing Sasuke in close and pecking him on the lips. Ferret, disturbed by their motions, glanced up at them curiously. Sasuke kissed back, finding this distracting enough.

Besides, if they were really just sneaking in to steal some jewelry, everything would  _probably_  go fine. It was more that in the unlikely scenario that something did go wrong, the consequences could be horrific. That, and breaking into a house might be the start of a very slippery slope.

Now it was midnight. The movie was over. Naruto played with Ferret for a while, dangling keys in front of her for a while before he got clawed. Naruto reached down for one of the cat treats Sasuke had bought on the way home.

"Don't reward her. She doesn't get any treats if she claws."

Naruto, sitting on the ground Indian style, tugged on Sasuke's pant leg.

"C'mon, she barely even got me! And she's got like a year of no kitty treats to make up for here. 'Sides, I kinda relate to her," Naruto said with a grin.

Yes, both of them had been homeless for the past year and had been cruelly deprived of their favorite snacks. They even tilted their heads with what seemed like the same stupid expression when something happened that they didn't understand.

"If she wants treats, then she won't claw."

"See,  _I_  get you, Ferret," Naruto told her, offering her a treat.

Ferret chewed at the treat gratefully, purring between bites. Naruto had to give Ferret treats. After all, how else could he get any attention from her? Her favoritism was obvious, as she was practically glued to Sasuke at all times. Naruto wanted to play too! Sasuke rolled his eyes, picking up his anatomy book and reading ahead for spring semester.

"Really, Sasuke?" Naruto asked with a pair of raised brows.

Sasuke was studying over Christmas break? Did he  _ever_  stop? Sasuke ignored him. By the time he finished his chapter on the nervous system, it was one in the morning. He found himself tempted to call Karin. He hadn’t expected to feel like this, to feel anxious, to care. He didn’t think he would have felt this way in the same situation months ago. What had happened to bring him closer to them?

Suigetsu had told Sasuke that he would give him a call when he was finished. Sasuke would leave Suigetsu undisturbed while he was in the middle of business. Just as he was about to yield to temptation, his phone rang.

He held his breath for an instant when he noticed that the call was coming from Karin, not Suigetsu. Hopefully, Suigetsu had just gotten lazy. Sasuke sat upwards quickly, Naruto sitting a few feet away from him to give him his privacy. He pressed the green "answer call" button, causing the sound of Karin's heavy sobbing to blast over the receiver. It was by far loud enough for Naruto to hear, and Sasuke shared an apprehensive glance with him.

"Karin…"

"It didn't…" Karin tried.

He couldn't even understand what she was saying at first. She was too hysterical to form coherent sentences. But it left Sasuke’s mind running rampant. Being caught wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened to them. What if Suigetsu had gotten seriously injured? Had even gotten…killed? Sasuke rerouted his thoughts. That was unlikely.

"He…" she started again, choking off.

"I can't understand anything you're saying," Sasuke said, his voice deep but calming. “Take a deep breath in. Count to three.”

There was a three second pause over the line.

"They…they got caught."

"Fuck…" Sasuke swore, holding his head in his hand.

"The guy came home."

"Didn't Kabuto say he was in Europe for a month?"

Ferret mewed and looked up at Sasuke, who issued a couple reassuring pets to reassure Ferret that no, the world was not ending.

"Yeah. Yeah, he did. But it was a fucking two day road trip up to Santa Barbara, and…"

Karin broke down into sobbing again, barely getting out, "For whatever reason, he came home a day early."

Sasuke was silent as Karin continued to cry, unsure of what to say.

"I don't know what they're gonna do with him… They had a gun on them! That's fucking… _armed robbery_."

The gun… He had an idea that would be brought into it, for who knows what reason. Why did Kabuto like to have that thing around? Then again, there was more risk involved in the situation than Suigetsu had become informed of.  _How_  much more was still a mystery.

Sasuke hadn't been there, and he'd probably be deprived of specifics for quite a while. Maybe Kabuto would have even used that gun, had the night played out differently.

"Who had the gun on them when they were found?"

"I don't know."

Sasuke placed his phone on mute for a second while Karin continued to cry.

"Could you hear?" he asked Naruto.

"Eh… I was trying to give you your privacy, but fuck…" Naruto sighed heavily, shaking his head and cocking it toward Sasuke's phone. "That doesn't sound good at all."

"Busted for armed robbery."

Naruto held his mouth in shock. Before he could get over the statement and speak, Karin's voice carried loudly over the phone.

"Dammit, Sasuke!"

Sasuke took that as his cue to turn the mute button off.

Karin continued, "I don't know what the fuck to do with a boyfriend who doesn't even… Fucking  _stupidass_  motherfucker… Dammit!"

Karin sounded almost frantic, as if she were on the brink of a panic attack.

"Breathe."

"Fuck…  _Why_  didn't I try harder?"

"You did. We all did. He was set on it."

Naruto walked away, granting Sasuke his privacy to console his friend. Ferret, who didn't seem to take the cue, plopped herself down on Sasuke's lap. Sasuke actually wished Naruto had stayed for once but didn’t have the humility to ask for him to return. He had  _no_  idea what to tell Karin. Calming weeping females was not exactly his area of expertise. Naruto was Mr. Empathy, not him.

"I should've told him I'd break up with him if he did it," Karin sniffed. "I thought about pulling that but decided not to, because I didn't want to fucking break up with him!"

Karin began to cry again, triggered by the irony of the situation. If Suigetsu had gone through with it and didn't get caught, Karin would have either had to admit to bluffing or break up with him. If Suigetsu did get caught, then Karin wouldn't be seeing him for quite a while anyway. Her only hope would have been that Suigetsu would have been dissuaded by her threat.

"Look, Karin…" Sasuke sighed, feeling quite uncomfortable in this situation. "The best you can do is try to point someone the right way. If they don't want to listen, they won't, and there's jackshit you can do about it. But that's not  _your_  fault."

Sasuke hated to admit that there was a very recent time when he was almost as hard-headed as Suigetsu. Lectures and admonishments bounced off of him, sometimes even when they came from Itachi himself.

"But  _why_  did it have to turn out like this?!"

"I don't know," he admitted.

"He asked me if I wanted to break up with him."

"What did you say?" Sasuke asked calmly, his voice starting to settle Karin, who was now only hiccuping softly between responses.

"I told him I wasn't in a state of mind to make decisions like that."

Sasuke wouldn't have expected Karin to say such a mature thing under pressure, especially not when it came to Suigetsu. There was hardly a mature word shared between those two, as any conversation usually descended into juvenile and semi-abusive squabbling. Still, glancing over at his boyfriend cleaning dishes in the kitchen, he couldn't point too many fingers there.

"Alright."

"What do you think I should do, Sasuke? Should I break up with him?"

Sasuke sighed. He felt that he was one of the last people who should be answering that for Karin, actually, given her feelings towards him.

"I can't answer that for you."

"I suppose," Karin laughed dryly, "There's no chance…"

"No," Sasuke answered firmly, interpreting Karin's tone. "That's never going to happen, and even if it were, that shouldn't influence your decision."

"Yeah… I know. That was a rotten thing for me to think."

Sasuke grunted. Considering leaving Suigetsu for him was a rather rotten thing for Karin to think; he wouldn't deny it. But he wasn't one to judge people for "rotten thoughts." He knew he'd had plenty. Besides, he knew Karin was speaking, mostly, out of frustration. She'd really tried to talk Suigetsu out of this, and now the guy's life would never be the same because he'd disregarded her.

"What do you think they're gonna do to him?"

Sasuke found her oscillation between anger and concern understandable, considering the situation.

"It's hard to say without the specifics. Armed robbery's a felony, but he's a minor. So we can only hope they send him to juvie."

"Dammit," Karin sighed. "Sorry, Sasuke. I'm sorry for crying at you. I  _just_  got off the phone with Suigetsu a couple minutes ago. It's really fresh."

"Don't worry about it."

Karin tried to stop crying, succeeded temporarily, and then began crying again.

"Dammit, he's so fucking stupid! That fucking  _idiot_ …"

"I know."

"Dumbass! Moron! Blockhead! Dipshit motherfucking…"

Sasuke let Karin spew a plethora of other insults at the absent Suigetsu until she lost steam and began to sob. It was a little longer before Karin was able to speak next.

"Thanks, Sasuke…" Karin said softly. "If it weren't for you, Juugo and I would be just as bad off."

"It was your decision. Either way, the credit or the fault lies with you. The same goes for him."

"Yeah..." Karin agreed. "But I can almost guarantee you that if you hadn't pushed me, my decision would've been different. So I'm still gonna thank you."

"It was nothing."

Karin took in a deep, shuddering breath.

"I'm… I can't talk anymore. I can't do this."

Sasuke paused, staring at the phone cautiously. Karin wasn't thinking about doing something stupid, was she?

"You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I just…" Karin's voice twisted as she fought back tears. "I'm too upset for the phone. I just need to…"

"Understood."

"Thanks…" Karin replied, her voice almost choked off again by tears.

"Call back if you need me."

"Thanks…"

And with that, Karin ended the call. Sasuke sighed deeply, until all air had left his lungs, holding his face in his hands for a short second before putting sliding his phone in his pajama pants and walking towards Naruto, tailed closely by Ferret.

He supposed this would be the end of worrying about Kabuto plotting against him and his friends. Kabuto already had a dirty record, and he'd been no doubt pegged as the kingpin for this operation. Especially at the age of twenty-one, Kabuto really was fucked. How many years would it be until he saw the outside world?

And Suigetsu… He had no idea what they'd do with him. It was his first offense, but it was certainly a severe one. He walked up to Naruto, who was doing the dishes in the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around Naruto's waist.

Sasuke wondered if he would've ever stopped dealing drugs if Naruto hadn't been there. He might have even accepted Orochimaru's offer to sell directly through him. Shit, five hundred dollars wasn't anything to blink at. Maybe he'd be selling meth and cocaine and who knows what else. Maybe, after that, stealing a few necklaces from a house wouldn't have seemed like much. He'd just keep making more and more money under Orochimaru until Itachi or the police figured him out. His friends would've never tried to talk him out of it.

He'd been in quite the unstable period of his life, so he had trouble saying what decisions he would have made had no one been there to ground him. He'd known it before, but the brutal reality struck him full force that in this low point of his life, he could've made decisions that destroyed his future. Maybe, in another six years, he would've ended up a lot like Kabuto. The thought nauseated him.

Naruto leaned back, his hands still wet, kissing Sasuke quickly.

"How are you holding up?"

"Fine."

"You don't look so fine. Were you close to that guy?"

Sasuke sighed again, shaking his head. They hung out a lot, yes, but there had always been quite the wall separating the two of them. This was certainly more Sasuke's fault than Suigetsu's.

"Not really."

Comparing Suigetsu to people like Itachi, Naruto, and even Juugo, the man was kept at a formidable distance. Still, it was difficult to spend so much time with someone and not feel some sort of proximity. The effort he'd put into talking Suigetsu out of this madness was a testament to that fact.

Whatever the case, the news didn't sit well with him, and he didn’t understand the heaviness he felt at the moment. Could Sasuke really say that Suigetsu had it coming after the things he had done, after shadowing that deal with Orochimaru?

"Then…"

"Everything's changing," he sighed.

"Yeah?" Naruto asked, knowing that Sasuke probably could benefit from a good talk but would refuse to do so without sufficient prompting.

Aside from Karin and Naruto, every noteworthy person in Sasuke's life was either incarcerated or hospitalized. Juugo would never be coming back to school again, and it was possible that Suigetsu, who was half through junior year, might not either. The only ones left were him and Karin. Within the past couple weeks, his circle of friends shrank very quickly.

Before the fire, his group had been even broader. Sakura and he had shared nearly a dozen friends between them. They'd distanced themselves when Sasuke's behavior deteriorated. His anger was not only directed towards authority figures and the deserving, and the final blow seemed to be the rather insensitive way in which he'd broken up with Sakura.

They were good people - the sort of folk he  _should_  have been hanging out with. He wondered if it was too late to reestablish these ties. He wanted to apologize, especially to Sakura. Still, he couldn’t see himself asking for their forgiveness. Would they even believe that he'd changed?

As if that weren't bad enough, Naruto's near future living arrangements were questionable. Sasuke couldn't imagine that Itachi would take more than a couple days to come home. He'd almost reached the wall just a few hours ago. Itachi would have the morning nurse walk him each morning. As soon as he reached that wall on his morning walk, Dr. Sannin would be called, and he'd be discharged. It could be any day. And then what would happen to Naruto?

"It's just a lot that's up in the air right now."

"But it's not all bad, right? Your brother's coming home any day now."

"I know."

"Aren't you excited?" Naruto asked with a grin.

"Of course I'm excited," Sasuke countered, sounding a bit defensive.

Naruto squinted at Sasuke skeptically until he appeared to have a revelation.

"You're… You're worried about losing me, huh?"

Sasuke instinctively let go of Naruto's waist and distanced himself. He didn't really mind admitting that, but the fact that Naruto realized this when they were talking about Itachi's return home was humiliating and a little revealing. It made him feel guilty.

"But I'm still excited about my brother coming home," Sasuke correctly sharply. "It's separate."

"Sasuke, it doesn't have to be separate."

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke snapped, beginning to despise the subject matter.

"I know you would only want the best for Itachi. You'd go through hell for the guy. But his return, as great as it is, might end this whole setup we have here. If his return will have good and bad effects, why's it so bad to have mixed feelings?"

Naruto was smiling at Sasuke lightly, seeking to reassure him. Sasuke grabbed his upper arm with his other hand, letting his arms hang.

"Because it's not right. My brother's coming home after a month in the hospital. I should be nothing but happy for him."

Naruto turned around, drying off his hands and leaning against the kitchen counter as he faced Sasuke. This whole charade, living like they were married, sharing a house together… What teenagers had that sort of romance? Even if they stayed together, nothing like  _this_  could last.

But they'd known that from the start. When first taking Naruto in, Sasuke guessed that they'd have a week at the most until Itachi found them. They lived in a constant state of readiness, knowing that Naruto might be found at any moment. They accepted it. When Itachi got sick and got fired from his job, things got even more dangerous. Sasuke was almost certain that their ruse was coming to a very immediate end.

Everything changed when Itachi was hospitalized. The house was theirs, and they became accustomed to that,  _expected_  it. They didn't have to live with that anxiety over their shoulders, and now that same anxiety had returned. Their expectations were constantly forced to adjust.

Sasuke didn't want to think about what life would be like with Naruto gone. Itachi would recover, and it would be the same pace for his studious older brother again. Work, school, sleep, repeat, and once again, Sasuke would be the alone in the house, his bed's solitary occupant.

Sasuke wished he could control his thoughts more adeptly, even if he had full reign over his mouth. For Christ's sake, his brother had entered the hospital near death a month ago, and  _finally_  he was coming home. He’d had _cancer_. Finally, Itachi was healthy, or at least comparatively so. Why the hell was he moping?

"I'm a little nervous too, to be honest," Naruto murmured.

Naruto had every reason to be scared. More so than Sasuke, the sophomore believed. He was going to be discovered and probably sent out of his only home. He'd be sent into foster care and have to start over the process that once almost killed him. And it wasn't  _his_  brother that was returning either. At least Sasuke had a place to stay and someone to look after him.

"No one cares about Itachi as much as you do, Sasuke. But if he knew all this stuff that was going on, I don't think he'd fault you for being a little stressed."

Sasuke frowned, staring towards the ground and very glad that Itachi  _didn't_  know what was going on. Naruto was probably right. Itachi might have faulted him for many, many things he'd done lately, but this probably wasn't one of them.

"I fault myself for it."

Naruto sighed, leaning against the kitchen counter. Sasuke having unrealistic expectations of himself wasn't anything new.

"It's obvious you genuinely want your brother to come home. Why else would you take him on walks every day?"

Sure, his actions portrayed only good intentions. It was the only way he could hide the fact that his mind was running amuck. He didn't want to lose Naruto. He didn't want things to go back to the way they used to be. He didn't want an empty house. He didn't want to be alone again. Why did his throat feel tight? Sasuke was silent, and Naruto reached towards Sasuke's hand. He clasped it together.

"You're a wonderful brother, Sasuke. Itachi is a lucky guy."

He glanced at Naruto hesitantly, as if to ask, "Are you sure about that?" He did, frequently, chide himself for burdening Itachi, causing him trouble, and in general not contributing his fair share. It felt strange to think of Itachi as being the lucky one.

If it hadn't been for Itachi, he'd have already been sent out into the foster care system. Actually, he'd probably be in juvie. He wondered if he could've really gotten out of it with just community service hours if not for Itachi's help.

Still, maybe it wasn't important to think in terms of who was lucky to have whom. Maybe they were both just lucky to have each other.

"'Sides, who says he's gonna send me off? I can pay for everything I eat and then some! I can really help you guys out!"

Sasuke frowned and shook his head.

"Naruto, it's not just a matter of money. I know you can pull your weight."

Naruto nodded quietly.

"Itachi's my legal guardian, and he had to struggle even to get  _me_  under his custody," Sasuke added.

"Maybe if we could keep it under wraps… I've been missing for a year anyway."

"At your age, he legally needs to send you to school, even if just to drop out of it, and account for you. Itachi wouldn't break the law."

Naruto didn't want to be a burden. He'd accepted enough from the Uchiha family. If he stayed, it had to be mutually beneficial. He'd pitch in financially, take care of Itachi, and fill in for either brother if a situation should arise. In return, Naruto would be off the streets. He wouldn't allow himself to cause trouble. He knew they had plenty of troubles as is.

"I'd never ask that of him; it wouldn't be right," Naruto sighed, shaking his head. "I wish becoming an emancipated minor weren't such a pain in the ass."

They'd both researched this topic somewhat. It was expensive and could take several months. Naruto would, of course, have to come out of hiding before they could even begin.

"Yeah, from what I've gathered, it doesn't seem like a feasible option right now."

"Isn't there another way?" he asked timidly.

"I think he'd basically he'd have to get custody of you. But I doubt the courts would allow that, especially with his health as it is. He can hardly even hang on to  _me_."

"So…" Naruto answered, his head hanging down and one hand grasping his other arm's forearm tightly, the skin conforming around it. "What you're basically saying is that you think it's hopeless."

As much as Sasuke favored honesty over ignorance, a part of him wished he could play up the belief that they’d just be one big, happy family. But if things didn’t go that way, Naruto couldn’t lose his cool. He’d need a plan.

Naruto clenched his teeth tightly. Then he smiled. He grinned. It looked so forced that it made Sasuke a little nauseous. He ruffled Sasuke's hair.

"You're such a pessimist. Things are gonna work out. You'll see."

Sasuke thought he should be the one reassuring Naruto, not the other way around. He could tell Naruto was shoving down all his doubts and fears, because he wanted to be strong for Sasuke. But Sasuke needed no coddling.

"Yeah. Itachi's practically a lawyer, and most of my info is from Google for Christ's sake," Sasuke admitted. "Maybe he can figure something out."

Sasuke hoped he was right.

"Yeah! I'm sure we'll make it work."

They held hands, gripping hard, their faces calm, if not forcibly upbeat. Maybe their words were lies, but their touches more humanely announced the truth. To Naruto, Sasuke seemed so sad.

"I've been thinking, Sasuke…"

"Hm?"

"It's been an awful long time since we last looked up at the stars."

The first time they stargazed seemed so long ago, though it was only that October. They were just friends back then. They had the perfect distance between them, only drawn a little bit close for comfort occasionally due to the small screen on Sasuke's phone. Naruto balanced his head on Sasuke's shoulder, and Sasuke's gut flew into a gymnastic routine.

Everything was new back then. Every touch was tentative, each stealing brief glances at the other without his knowledge. Presumably, Itachi had been healthy. Sasuke didn't know about Naruto's scars, and Naruto didn't know about Sasuke's parents. But they connected all the same as Sasuke spoke of one of his few real interests. In all the recent insanity, the hobby had fallen to the backburner.

"Yeah, it has."

"C'mon. Let's see what the Big Fox is up to, eh?"

Naruto's nickname for Ursa Major was, of course, not forgotten. He beamed at Sasuke, and the left corner of his lips flipped upward slightly.

"Alright. Let me get my glasses. Grab the blanket for us."

Sasuke already carried the phone near him, and he padded upstairs quickly to grab the glasses waiting in his desk drawer. He kept them in hand as he returned downstairs. It was about two in the morning now, the temperature descending to near freezing point.

Naruto took the soft downy comforter that they had been lying with earlier, which was plenty big enough for both of them. Ferret attempted to accompany the two of them outside, but Sasuke granted her a consolatory pat on the head before closing the door in front of her.

The outside air was frigid and still, the quarter moon waning. They two sat down in front of Sasuke's house, both in their pajamas. The first time they'd done this, their bodies were kept a properly platonic distance apart. Now they huddled together, legs interlocking as they wrapped the thick comforter around then. Sasuke indiscreetly placed his thin, black-rimmed glasses on his face.

"Shit…" said Naruto slowly, glancing at Sasuke in mild bewilderment. "Just a piece of plastic, but it makes you look so different."

The glasses seemed to grant Sasuke an air of sophistication and intelligence, giving him the appearance of someone years older. Naruto still hadn't had the chance to get over it, as Sasuke wore them almost exclusively for stargazing.

"You're being dramatic."

"Nerd," Naruto goaded.

"Dumbass."

"They look sexy on you, Sasu."

"Naturally," Sasuke answered.

Of course, Naruto though, he'd never quite learned to stop complimenting the prick.

Sasuke fetched his cell phone, turning on the familiar app and pointing it towards the sky. Fortunately, it was very clear out.

"Check it out, there's Draco," Naruto stated, pointing at the screen, then at the sky. It was right near Ursa Minor. "Know anything about that one?"

Despite how distant Sasuke could be, especially when he first met Naruto, he remembered hearing an uncharacteristic engagement in his voice when he talked about the stars. He wondered what had drawn Sasuke to them so much, but he was content just to share the moment with him. Maybe this would be a good way to improve his mood.

"It's circumpolar, like Ursa… The Little Fox."

Naruto rested his hand on his palm, his elbow resting on Sasuke's knee. Their body posture contrasted so keenly with that first time they had viewed the stars together.

"Circumpolar?"

"It never sets."

"Ah…" Naruto replied, staring at the constellation for a bit longer. "What's it supposed to be?"

"A dragon."

"Yeah…" he squinted, tilting his head a little as his imagination took over. "I can see that one I guess."

"It also has the Cat's Eye Nebula in it."

"Lost me there," Naruto admitted with a chuckle.

Sasuke tilted the phone again, scanning the sky slowly.

"You were right about that Big Fox," Naruto noted pensively, referring to the Big Dipper of course. "I can't even see him anymore."

"Are you assigning gender to a constellation?" Sasuke asked dryly.

"So what if I am?"

"I really would not give a shit."

"Cassiopeia," Naruto hummed, pointing at the screen. "Whatcha know about that?"

It was a rather fun game for Naruto. He could pick just about any constellation, and Sasuke would always have something or another to say about it.

"The name comes from Greek mythology again. It was named after some vain queen and documented by Ptolemy. It has both Andromeda and Perseus in it."

Naruto paused, staring at Sasuke closely, who was noting the stars through his thin glasses. He wasn't bothering to look at the phone. He didn't appear to need it.

"Why'd ya learn so much about stars, anyway? What got you into it?"

Sasuke glanced over at Naruto, a little bit hesitant.

"My father had a huge telescope, probably worth a grand or so. It's gone now, obviously, but he'd bring it out for some camping trips and taught us what he knew."

This was only part of the truth, really. Sasuke studied these constellations in advance. The immense scope of the universe truly did fascinate him, along with all the different stars and galaxies that could be found in it. Yet especially, Sasuke wanted to impress his father, wanted to see the look of pride on his face.

Naruto smiled lightly, leaning against Sasuke.

"That's a pretty cool history."

Sasuke nodded, the two lying in content silence for a while until Sasuke spoke up.

"Pisces is still up there," he informed Naruto, pointing at the constellation's position in the sky.

Naruto remembered when Sasuke had told him that the Pisces constellation was supposed to resemble two fish with their tails tied together. When Naruto expressed disbelief, Sasuke told him about the Greek myth behind it. Aphrodite and her son, Eros, turned themselves into fish to escape some fire god. They tied their tails together to make sure they didn't lose each other in the escape.

If only for a moment, Naruto envied Aphrodite and Eros. He wished Sasuke and he could have been tied together, two fish by the tail. Sure, it left something to be desired in terms of mobility, but at least they wouldn't lose each other. Sasuke was Naruto's only bond, and he couldn't describe how lonely the idea of losing Sasuke made him feel.

So he turned to Sasuke, inclining his chin towards him and kissing him slowly and deeply, tongues sliding over each either. They both took their time, Sasuke's hand grabbing Naruto's underneath the covers. Their cold noses pressed together as they leaned their foreheads against each other lazily.

They began to kiss again, Sasuke seeming to sense that Naruto was the one seeking comfort in this exchange. He moved his hand up Naruto's arms, petting his back. As their lips parted, Sasuke pecked his forehead and gently ran his hand through Naruto’s hair. His other hand was taken by Naruto's, their fingers intertwined securely.

"Tell me we're not gonna lose each other, Sasuke," Naruto said softly.

"I won't let anything come between us," Sasuke answered firmly, cradling Naruto's face in his hand and looking back at him through his glasses. "We've fought too damned hard."

Naruto nodded wordlessly, leaning into Sasuke. It was cold outside, but their warmth was trapped perfectly inside the comforter. Their hands grasped tightly, as if something could tear them apart at any moment. It was uncertain how Itachi would affect their arrangement, but no matter what, they both believed that the important thing was that they stayed together.

The next morning, Sasuke got a phone call from the hospital.

Itachi would be coming home that day.


	48. Chapter 48

"Good morning, Sasuke!" Aiko announced, her green eyes wide as she waved frantically from the driver's seat, her window rolled down. "Or… Well, it's almost noon now."

Sasuke couldn't drive, Juugo was locked up, and like hell was he going to let Itachi take the bus home. When Sasuke called Aiko to pick him up and take Itachi home from the hospital, she was more than pleased to be of service.

Regardless of how well Sasuke and Aiko got along, it felt odd to spend time with Juugo's mother without him around. It was against the natural order of adolescent companionship. And it had been a while since he’d last seen her beyond a simple greeting.

"Yeah, good morning," Sasuke answered, opening the passenger door of the blue sedan and moving to sit down.

"Wait! Here, could you take this into your house and set it on the dining room table?"

She moved to the back seat and gave Sasuke a large blue cake. It had a plastic cover on top of it, which had a card taped on the top. Itachi's name was scrawled on the envelope with elegant cursive. She'd baked them a cake? Neither of them particularly liked sweet things, but nonetheless, he took it gladly.

"You didn't have to go so far out of your way for us, Aiko."

"Oh, it's the least I could do after what you've done for Juugo," Aiko insisted. "I'm just so glad your brother's feeling better."

She was referring to the cafeteria incident, Sasuke believed. He assumed that news of Kabuto and Suigetsu's misfortune last night hadn't traveled yet, and he'd keep it that way.

"Thanks. I'll be back in a few."

Sasuke didn't have time to worry about how long it would be until Itachi found Naruto, or what would happen when he did. After today, they'd have to make some changes. Going to the labor center would be a great risk for Naruto, as Itachi would be around the house recovering at almost all times of day. Itachi had no job and no schooling. The boys agreed to postpone Naruto's work for now, until they got a better idea of how they might be able to sneak Naruto in and out of the house around Itachi. But Aiko's incessant chattering kept Sasuke from analyzing this too much.

"So the surgery went well then?"

"Mhm."

"And he's gonna be alright?"

"Looks that way."

"I'm just so happy to hear that, Sasuke. What was wrong with your brother, if you don't mind me asking?"

Sasuke opened his mouth to answer. He'd been awfully vague with everyone, though he had briefly explained to Juugo that he had a "growth" on his stomach.

"Oh, never you mind, dear! Sorry, I'm being nosey. Your brother's feeling better, and that's all that matters. Speaking of hospitals, have you watched House lately? Juugo told me you like that show."

Sasuke appreciated the quick subject change.

"A little. I've been busy."

"Well… I've just started watching it recently. You know, Hugh Laurie can actually be  _really_  sexy, especially in that role. Who'd have thought?"

Sasuke wasn't taken aback. He'd become accustomed to this sort of behavior years back when he used to so frequently visit Juugo's house.

"Huh, Sasuke?" Aiko pressed. "Who'd have thought?"

"No clue. I suggest you consult the internet."

Aiko began to laugh, and it filled the entire car. It started off with a high-pitched "HAW" and descended into a series of less striking chuckles. Aiko had been teased relentlessly for her laugh, she had told Sasuke, all the way back to grade school. But, as she'd tell Sasuke, "Don't you think I'd let those numbskulls shame me out of laughing! Ha!"

Sasuke had, of course, been nothing but polite when he'd met Mrs. Tenbin, as Sasuke had originally referred to her as. "Please," "thank you," and "ma'am" were his most commonly used phrases in her presence. This was quickly dismissed, and Sasuke gradually came to speak to her as he would any of his other friends: tersely and not all that politely.

Of course, this didn't keep Sasuke from throwing the occasional and quite ironic "ma'am" at her, just to get under her skin should she tease him too much. Rather than taking offense, Aiko always loved that about Sasuke. It made her feel young and not so out of place amongst Juugo and his friends.

"Did you know that Hugh Laurie is 53? His ass sure doesn't look like it's 53…" she trailed off, resting her chin in her left hand as her right turned the wheel. "He's British, if you didn't know. He fakes an American accent just for the show! Maybe Brits just have better gluts. Maybe it's genetic…"

"Some questions were never meant to be answered, Aiko."

Aiko took a swig off of her water bottle as she contemplated Sasuke's statement.

"You know, that's a very interesting point of view, and I think you could take it to a very basic and philosophical level. I wonder if the ultimate goal in life is truth or happiness? We humans are on a constant search for knowledge, but maybe some things we just aren't meant to know. It's no wonder we don't know them!"

These sorts of turns in conversation were rather common for Aiko. She was never good at staying on one subject for an extensive amount of time. If Juugo had issues with attention span, it wasn't very difficult to see where they might have come from. She could go from discussing Hugh Laurie's ass to debating the universe's greatest mysteries in a matter of seconds.

"You mean like the ever-relevant mysteries of Hugh Laurie's ass?"

"Exactly like Hugh Laurie's ass! We should talk more. You're such a bright young boy. Or should I say bright young man? You're getting so big!"

"Thanks," Sasuke granted begrudgingly.

"I hope you've been drinking milk every day. Sasuke, do you drink milk every day?"

"…Mostly," Sasuke lied.

" _Mostly?_  That sounds more like 'never' to me! It's so important to drink milk during puberty. Can't you see how big and strong Juugo got? Every day I make him drink his milk, whether he likes it or not!"

Sasuke smirked, tucking the knowledge away for future ammunition the next time Juugo teased him. Juugo's mom made him drink milk every day? Yet they bought him weed. He never really could understand his parents' logic sometimes.

"I'm sure he loves that," he quipped sarcastically.

"That's it. I'm picking you up a gallon at the store tomorrow. And when you buy milk, make sure to get the organic kind without rBST. Did you know that rBST has been banned in several countries? And there it is, right on your supermarket shelf!"

"Incorrigible," Sasuke commented listlessly.

"'Incorrigible' is right!"

Sasuke couldn't really find time to worry about anything else thanks to Aiko's exuberance. He always did find it a challenge to keep up with her in conversation, not so much in terms of wit as in terms of energy and word count. Very fortunately, they pulled into the hospital.

"It may take a few minutes to get him out."

"That's okay. I brought some reading, so I'll wait in the parking garage and give you two some privacy. Just call me when you're ready to go."

"Alright. See you."

Sasuke walked away from Aiko, a little pleased to be treated to some silence. He did like Aiko, but her enthusiasm could become overwhelming at times. He quickly made it up to Itachi's floor. Itachi was sitting up in bed impatiently, already dressed in the outfit Sasuke left him for his last day. He wore a long wool jacket with well-worn jeans and a maroon V-neck.

The clothes, which fit Itachi perfectly several months ago, hung off of his frame. Sasuke knew this would happen, so he tried not to be bothered by the image. He assumed that the looseness, especially in the waistband, would be much more comfortable around his incisions.

"Hey, Sasuke," Itachi said cheerfully, flicking Sasuke a brief wave.

"Hey."

Just as they exchanged greetings, a young girl in a volunteer's uniform came to the room with a wheelchair. Sasuke offered to help Itachi out of bed, but Itachi didn't need it. He was very quickly standing, at which point the volunteer, a small black-haired girl from Sasuke's English class, recognized him.

"Oh, h-hello, Sasuke," she stated, holding her hands to her chin as her eyes stared at the ground.

"Hinata," Sasuke responded with a nod.

Itachi smiled knowingly, probably assuming that Hinata had some sort of infatuation with Sasuke. Statistically speaking, given the number of interested female classmates, it was likely that Hinata had a crush on him. However, Sasuke had no way to know, as she acted like this towards almost everyone. Hinata opened the wheelchair and put down the brakes on the wheels for Itachi, who sat down neatly.

"They keep me in here until I can walk to the wall, then they put me in a wheelchair when I leave. Fitting, huh?"

Both brothers knew that this was protocol. If someone was kept inpatient, there was no way they could get out of being discharged in a wheelchair.

"Perfectly."

Hinata and Sasuke walked side by side, quietly, as Itachi was wheeled through the hospital. Sasuke sent Aiko a quick text to let her know they'd be waiting outside any moment now. When they arrived at the sidewalk by the parking lot, Sasuke thanked Hinata, who nodded and made a quick and flustered exit.

It felt so odd to Sasuke, to be leaving the hospital with Itachi now. Itachi had been in there for over a month, and it had started to feel quite natural to Sasuke. He'd never known that finding Itachi on the bathroom floor that night would lead to such a lengthy stay. Then again, he was glad his brother was alive at all.

Itachi was grinning as the cold outside air met him, although the thick wool coat Sasuke selected for him still left him a bit chilly. Sasuke had taken him outside a couple times by now, but it was entirely different for Itachi to know that this time, there would be no returning to his tiny and oddly smelling hospital room.

"When we get home, I have a surprise for you," Sasuke informed Itachi quietly.

Before Itachi could respond, Aiko's sedan pulled up to the curb. Itachi stood up, walking towards the back seat.

"Shot gun for you, brother," Sasuke insisted.

It was certainly more comfortable than the backseats. But Aiko had very quickly parked her car to flurry around to the other side.

"Itachi! It's been so long since I've seen you! Are you cold?"

"Oh, it's alright," Itachi told her politely, his arms wrapped around his body tightly. "I'll be fine."

Aiko tsk'd, quickly grabbing a fleece blanket out of her trunk as Sasuke helped Itachi get up into the passenger seat, once again offering his arm as a firm balance. Aiko was immediately there with the off white blanket, snugly wrapping it around Itachi's frame.

She wrapped it around Itachi's arms, pinning them against his body as she lodged the ends of the blanket behind Itachi's back. She tucked him in perfectly, from his shoulders to his feet. Only his face stuck out of the top of the blanket, covered all the way up to his chin. She clicked Itachi's seatbelt into place, thereby securing him in his "made in China" prison.

"You look like a burrito," Sasuke told him as he swung around into the seat behind Itachi, buckling himself in and shutting the door.

"Really? I thought it was a little more like pigs in a blanket."

"That makes you a pig. I considerately chose the more flattering option."

Aiko took the driver's seat, closing the door and turning on the ignition.

"Since when are you concerned with flattery?"

"Boys! Stop bickering."

Sasuke inwardly basked in satisfaction that she had referred to  _both_  of them as boys.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Tenbin," Itachi apologized respectfully. "And thank you so much for picking me up."

"Mrs. Tenbin?! Call me Aiko, please. I'm not an old woman yet!"

"Sorry, Mrs…Aiko."

The "misses" had fallen from Itachi's mouth before he had time to catch himself, almost on instinct. Hopefully he'd avoid offense with a quick adjustment.

"Mrs. Aiko?" Aiko asked disbelievingly, craning back to give Sasuke a look.

"Understand that you're asking my brother to go against eighteen years of instruction, enforced since infancy. Every brain cell is telling him to call you either Mrs. Something-Or-Another or ma'am. It's a habit not easily broken."

"That's right…" Aiko responded pensively. "I remember that you took a while to switch over too."

"I took hardly a day," he answered crossly.

"I don't see what the fuss is. Just because I'm Juugo's  _mom_ , you have to act like you're in front of the queen of England?" Aiko raised her hand, her wiry hair partially levitating as she shook her head. "Please!"

"We weren't even allowed to call our own father Dad until we became teenagers," Sasuke explained. "We had to call him sir."

"Seriously?"

"Yes," Itachi confirmed, now adopting his best baritone voice to imitate their late father. "Sir Uchiha, venerable knight of corporate accounting."

Itachi seemed somewhat taken aback when his statement elicited Aiko's trademark cackle, his eyes darting from left to right as he leaned away from her as best he could with his body bound thusly.

Sasuke chuckled quietly under his breath, both at the image of his father stoically parading in a knight's uniform with a calculator and at the current expression on Itachi's face. Itachi was certainly in a much livelier mood than he had been of late. Sasuke was glad to see it.

"Fugaku certainly was one for formalities, wasn't he?"

"Yes," Sasuke and Itachi both responded in unison, again causing Aiko to fall into laughter, though tamer this time.

"Mrs. Aiko, huh? I like it! Just the right level of awkwardness. In fact, it's downright endearing. Itachi, you and only you may call me Mrs. Aiko."

"Thank you very much, Mrs. Aiko," Itachi responded.

"Kiss ass," Sasuke grunted under his breath.

"Swearing in front of your friend's mother? Sasuke, our father would be rolling over in his grave."

"Leave it be, Itachi," Aiko responded, her eyes seeming to almost sparkle. "Sasuke's just jealous because I'm not letting him call me Mrs. Aiko."

"Tch. As if I'd want to use such an inefficient nickname…"

"Is that jealousy I hear in your voice?" Aiko teased.

"Of course not,  _ma'am_. I do apologize for my tone."

"You're cruisin' for a bruisin', squirt," Aiko told Sasuke, narrowing her eyes. It was rather odd to hear the woman, who couldn't have weighed much past 100 pounds standing at five feet tall, call him "squirt."

"Sasuke! If only I'd known you were such a little brat in front of your friend's parents…"

"Itachi, your brother's a brat in front of everyone. I've long since declined special treatment."

Itachi chuckled, and Sasuke huffed as the two amused themselves.

"That sounds about right."

They were nearing their house now.

"Ah, but he's worth the trouble…" Aiko trailed off.

"I'm right here, you know," Sasuke chimed in from the back.

"Of course you are. Itachi and I both love you dearly, sweetheart."

Then, over the radio, came a rather unwelcome cacophony.

_Wake up in the mornin' feelin' like P Diddy. Grab ma glasses, I'm out the door I'm gonna hit the city._

The corners of Sasuke's lips declined as he tried not to smile, glancing over at his brother, whose opinion on Kesha he knew  _quite_  well. In fact, he clearly remembered Itachi waking up, has body laden with morphine, the morning after he'd arrived at Las Haciendas. Tears streaming down his face, he informed Sasuke, "I don't  _like_  Kesha! Why would they do this to me? I don't understand!" And Sasuke had agreed to protect him from the harlot at all costs.

"Aiko, would you mind changing the station?" Sasuke asked.

_Before I leave brush ma' teeth with a bottle of Jack. 'Cuz when I leave for the night, I ain't comin back._

"Sure, hun! I'm not much of a fan either. Itachi, I'll leave it to you. Pick whichever you prefer."

_I'm talkin' pedicure on our toes, toes._

Itachi leaned forward to change the station, vainly struggling against his tortilla-colored encasement. His elbows fought against the blanket, but his arms were quite adeptly fastened to his body. His body was still weak. There was no escape.

_Tryin' on all our clothes, clothes._

"You immobilized him, Aiko. Just change it to whatever."

_Boys blowin' up our phones, phones._

"Oh, I'm so sorry, dear!" Aiko proclaimed, apparently forgetting that Itachi had been forced to surrender use of his arms. "Here you go."

_…Gotta move on. Won't you take me to Funky Town?_

Disco? Seriously?

"I love this song!" Aiko cheered.

"Won't you take me to Funky Town?" she sang along with the music.

_Won't you take me to Funky Town?_

_Won't you take me to Funky Town?_

_Won't you take me to Funky Town?_

The insightful and dynamic lyrics, along with Aiko's singing, left Sasuke speechless. Where was this Funky Town, and  _why_ , in the name of all that is holy, would anyone  _ever_  want to go there? He almost wondered if they would have been better off with Kesha.

They hadn't been exposed to much disco. He'd always known his father was a closet fan, but he'd fortunately saved his sons the embarrassment. They'd just heard it over his father's earbuds when he was working and snicker to each other, knowing full well the music had rendered their dad temporarily deaf. Itachi spared Sasuke a tortured look, to which Sasuke's eyes wordlessly responded, "I know, brother, I know."

And finally,  _finally_  they were home.

"Thanks again, Aiko," Sasuke told her, getting out of the car and readying himself to help his brother. "This was very helpful."

"Not a problem, dear," Aiko answered, getting out and running to the opposite side, giving Sasuke a hug that, as usual, made his spine crack a bit. Sasuke freed Itachi from his fleecy encasement, helping him out of the car. Aiko made her way over to hug Itachi, who looked just a bit frightened. Sasuke was just about to interfere when Aiko gave Itachi a much more fragile hug than Sasuke realized she was capable of.

"Yes, thank you, Mrs. Aiko," Itachi added.

Aiko briskly walked back to the driver's seat and shut the door, yelling out the window, "Come see Juugo when you get some free time, okay, Sasuke?"

"Will do," Sasuke responded, glad that Aiko had the common sense not to mention that he'd be visiting Juugo in the hospital.

Aiko waved one final time before driving off, leaving the pair in front of their house.

"Wow…" Itachi trailed off.

"I warned you."

Sasuke had indeed informed Itachi of Aiko's eccentricity, but it seemed that it was perhaps on another scale than Itachi had been anticipating.

"It's kind of refreshing though. I like it."

"Yeah…" Sasuke agreed, walking towards the steps on the stoop. He offered Itachi his arm and helped him up each one. "As long as she's not in charge of the radio."

He opened the door for Itachi to find the house just as neat as it was before Itachi had fallen ill. Itachi walked past the threshold, inhaling the scent deeply.

"Smells like home," he said, smiling.

Sasuke found it odd that the place no longer resembled a hotel to him. He'd made enough memories in this place so that it truly was his home.

"You said you had a surprise for me?" Itachi asked, glancing around the house.

Sasuke didn't get the chance to make an announcement, as said surprise slunk from the common room to the front door, staring up at Itachi curiously. Itachi held onto the door frame, shock almost causing him to stumble. He blinked, staring at the feline with confusion. He hadn't taken any Vicodin this morning, had he?

"Oh my god…"

"No, it's not the painkillers," Sasuke informed Itachi, reading his thoughts. "Ferret's back."

"What…" Itachi blurted out, pointing at Ferret and then looking back at Sasuke. " _How?_ "

But Ferret sprinted up to Itachi, purring as she rubbed himself against his pant legs.

"She was at the animal shelter."

Itachi grinned, reaching down to pet Ferret but wincing, his wound stopping his movements instantly. Itachi slowly but surely made his way over to the couch, sitting so that Ferret could jump up into his lap. She curled up in a ball, evidently just as content with this reunion as Itachi was. Itachi gently pet her in all of her favorite spots, behind her ears and her spine, the area where her tail began, temporarily forgetting his brother's presence with a warm smile on his face. Ferret butted her head into Itachi’s palm and began to purr. Itachi’s smile much resembled Sasuke’s when he had met Ferret again.

"I'm glad you're back.”

And he was being honest. Sure, he was torn, but he could think of very few things he'd rather do than watch his brother relax at home once again, reunited with his childhood pet and radiating contentment.

"Trust me. Me too."

* * *

Itachi walked forwards to the dining room table to find the cake Aiko baked them.

"Who's this from?" Itachi asked, opening up the card and reading it.

Sasuke glanced over Itachi's shoulder, reading the neat scrawl on the right side of the card.

 _Dear Itachi,_  
Get better soon. Hope you feel better! And give the little brat a hug for us, okay?  
Love, Aiko, Juugo, and Kou.

Each family member had signed the card, as the writing changed from name to name. The body of text was in Aiko's handwriting, and no doubt Aiko was the one behind it. Juugo would have never sent Sasuke or Itachi a card. It was tantamount to hugging; it just would've been awkward for them.

"I cooked some chicken breast for you earlier this morning. Are you hungry?"

Sasuke had heeded Naruto's advice. Cooking was supposed to be meaningful to people. For some unknown reason, it was better than restaurant food. Some sort of special mojo that was totally lost on Sasuke.

"You cooked for me?" Itachi asked, surprised.

Sasuke nodded. It would appear that Naruto had been correct. Itachi already seemed exhausted with standing, so Sasuke pulled out the chair of the kitchen table and allowed him to sit. He prepared a plate for Itachi, a makeshift Chicken Alfredo with lean white sauce and noodles. He knew that tomato sauce would be too rough on Itachi's stomach, though it could handle dairy. He placed it in front of Itachi, who smiled at the first bite.

"Who taught you to be such a chef?"

Sasuke shrugged.

"You learn. I haven't had many opportunities to cook for you."

Itachi stared at his plate, appearing somewhat guilty. Sasuke remembered those stupid words he'd spoken in their fight that had occurred months ago. "You're  _never_  fucking home." It was true that Sasuke was forced to learn to prepare food for himself because there was no one around to cook for him, but that wasn't Itachi's fault.

"But you'll be forced to endure it for now."

Itachi nodded, making his way through the food hungrily. It was a sizeable portion Sasuke had given him. He wondered if Itachi could finish it. Ferret leapt up into Itachi's lap.

"At least this gives me an excuse to spend time with you. It'll be kinda like when we were kids on holiday, and Mom and Dad were out of town..."

Itachi was certainly calmer and more laid back than Aiko and much less demanding of attention. This did, however, leave him to remember his current predicament. Naruto was upstairs as they spoke. Sasuke assumed he heard the door and was attempting to be as quiet as possible.

Naruto couldn't go to the labor center today, because he didn't know when he'd be able to sneak his way back into Sasuke's room. In the past, Itachi was at least absent because of work and school. He'd be home all day now. How long could they keep this up? He reluctantly admitted to himself that he would be more realistic to think in terms of days rather than in weeks.

He chided himself again. This was supposed to be a happy occasion, and it was. He felt so relieved to have Itachi out of that hospital. Despite his progress in dealing what what had happened to his parents, Sasuke still had this fear that something might happen to Itachi whenever he was out of his sight

 Now, since Sasuke was on break, he could be with him at all hours until he healed. He could help him exercise several times a day and get him rested and energetic faster than any hospital ever could. And how many times had Sasuke wanted to spend more time with Itachi in the past? His brother seemed so much happier.

"Except our diet will be better than Cheetos and Corn Pops this time around."

Itachi finished every morsel of food on his plate but refused Sasuke's offer for seconds. His appetite was improving, at least. Sasuke joined Itachi, whose energy appeared to be waning, on the couch as they watched House. Sasuke tried to forget what Aiko had said earlier about Hugh Laurie's ass but just had to give it at least one extra look. There was nothing special about it, really. Naruto's was much better. He didn't know what Aiko was going on about.

As the episode continued, Itachi began to slump against Sasuke, his breathing lengthening. The side of Itachi’s face rested against Sasuke’s shoulder, long strands of hair falling around Sasuke’s chest. Sasuke allowed it, and although they couldn't manage a graceful hug, this didn't feel the slightest bit awkward.

It reminded him of how they used to fall asleep on each other as little kids during family road trips, in their parents' back seat. He couldn't count how many times he'd fallen asleep on Itachi, who was generally very good-natured about it and just wrapped an arm around him. Still, there had been one or two " _Mooom_ , he's on my side!" incidents, when Itachi was very little.

Sasuke took Itachi's role now. In just a few minutes, Itachi was out. Sasuke gently laid his body out on the long couch, propping his head under a pillow. He tucked Itachi in with a soft and thick blanket, making sure that he was covered from his toes to his shoulder. Itachi's extremities tended to get awfully cold these days, and Sasuke would have none of it.

He left Itachi his cell phone on the coffee table within reaching distance and wrote a note for him.

_Upstairs. If you need anything, call my cell.  
-S_

Sasuke knew that yelling would be painful for Itachi. Really, anything that used his sorely abused abdominal muscles would be. He walked back up and opened his door, pleased to find Naruto quietly browsing the internet. It appeared that he was catching up on some arithmetic, which he'd told Sasuke he was rusty with.

Naruto was thinking about school. He’d asked Sasuke yesterday what grade he thought he would wind up in. Naruto was also planning for life afterward, it seemed, and though Sasuke was glad that Naruto was taking an interest in his future, it made him a bit sad at that moment.

He grinned, as Sasuke entered the room, waiting for Sasuke to sit on the bed so he could sit next to him.

"How'd it go?" he whispered.

They'd be only whispering from here on out. They'd gone over their routines the night before Sasuke picked Itachi up. It was just as it used to be, those rare times when Itachi was actually home before he was admitted to the hospital. Only whispering, and with louder music, quiet talking.

Only one person can walk at any given time. Naruto's showers and bathroom trips should be strategically planned to minimize risk, which was an imperfect art as Naruto's bathroom habits tended to be rather...unpredictable. Their task had become much more difficult, now that they could no longer postpone Naruto doing things that produced noise until Itachi was gone. Even feeding Naruto would provide a challenge.

Sasuke leaned over, turning his radio on at a volume that would drown their whispers out without disturbing Itachi.

"Good. Itachi's asleep on the couch."

"How's he doing?"

"Pretty good. He ate that big plate of chicken."

"Damn," Naruto said. "Guess we don't have to worry about him not eating enough. He should pack the weight back on in no time."

" _You'd_  know."

No one Sasuke knew could claim to know more about going from emaciated to stocky and strong than the guy in front of him.

Naruto flashed Sasuke a cheesy grin, "Yup. Trust the expert."

Sasuke gave a small smile back, which appeared nothing but forced.

"C'mon, Sasuke…"

"What?"

"Don't gloom around."

He cursed himself. If anything,  _Naruto_  should have been the one moping. He had one hell of a lot more to lose than Sasuke did when he was found. Of course, they'd pitch the idea of eventually adopting Naruto to Itachi. Sasuke assumed Itachi would turn it down, as he honestly had every right to do.

Naruto already agreed with Sasuke that in that case, he'd turn himself over to the system and look for a new foster family. This was something that had scared Naruto enough to convince him to live for an entire year on the streets, but Sasuke came upstairs to find Naruto just studying math, preparing for what might be the inevitable. Sasuke felt that he had no right to sulk.

"I'm not glooming around," he said snippily.

"Hey, everything's gonna be okay, alright Sasuke?"

"I don't need reassurance."

He understood Naruto's motivation, naturally, but he didn’t want to appear weak or in need of assistance. There was no need for it; he could handle it himself.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch," Naruto answered, rolling his eyes.

Naruto kneaded at Sasuke's ever-tense shoulders, causing Sasuke to realize that he'd been subconsciously pulling them up. He allowed them to rest flat as Naruto rubbed him.

"Well, you're tense, but that's not surprising. Like I've always said, you walk around with a giant stick in your ass. You need to use that stress ball I just got you."

Sasuke sighed at the other's prompting.

"Sasuke…"

"Yeah?"

"I love you, okay?"

Sasuke's hairs stood up on end, and the embarrassing part was that as Naruto's hands were rubbing at his upper arms now, he probably knew it. Otherwise, the words had no visible effect. Sasuke nodded slowly. He wanted to say it back. Why couldn't he ever say it back?

"Mn…"

He leaned against Naruto, hoping that this would at least be affectionate enough so as not to cause Naruto to feel rejected. Sasuke caught Naruto's face as he responded, Naruto appearing just a bit deflated. But why should he be surprised, Naruto thought. He had yet to hear those three pivotal words from Sasuke. Still, Sasuke's actions spoke for him. He moved forward to kiss Naruto, but Naruto turned away.

"What's wrong?"

Naruto bit his lip and huffed, crossing his arms and staring at the wall.

"Nothing. 'M just being stupid."

"Suit yourself," Sasuke answered with a shrug.

It didn't take Sasuke long to figure out that this was the wrong response, as Naruto pushed Sasuke's body off of his own and turned to face the wall. He didn't know if he'd hurt Naruto's feelings, pissed him off, or both, but he did know that ignoring this would make things even worse.

"Naruto…" he pressed, trying not to sound exasperated as he placed his hand on his shoulder.

"You never say it back."

"Huh?" Sasuke asked, genuinely confused.

"When I tell you that I love you," Naruto mumbled. "You've never once said it back."

Sasuke's gut sank, but he kept his hand on Naruto's shoulder. Love… That was quite the concept. It was rather terrifying, especially in light of their current situation. Whatever the case, Naruto admitting his insecurity seemed to be rather taxing on his pride.

"I'm…a little slower than most," Sasuke stated quietly, rubbing Naruto's shoulder soothingly.

"Right, of course," Naruto responded, doing his best to sound unbothered. "We've only been dating for like two months anyway, so I shouldn't let it bother me. Sorry, I'm just a hopeless romantic." Naruto laughed nervously. "You know how I am."

After all they'd endured together, Sasuke could hardly believe their relationship had been so short, though they had been friends for several months. In fact, he'd dated Sakura for almost five times as long, yet he'd had never felt even remotely the same degree of intimacy.

Maybe it was everything that had happened over those short two months that bonded them. Maybe it was their living situation, or the ways in which they related to and understood each other. But whatever it was, Sasuke had never grown so close to someone so quickly in his entire life. Even as a child, he'd been slow to form bonds. This was leagues out of the realm of his personality, and that much was thoroughly unsettling.

But Sasuke didn't think that Naruto was being unreasonable. It was  _his_  fault. There was something wrong with him. It was too difficult for him to speak those three simple words, to even admit the possibility of love to himself. He felt so uncomfortable at the moment. All he could do was show Naruto how he felt with his actions.

"No,  _I'm_  sorry," Sasuke answered, but he still couldn't get the words out. "Kiss me?"

Naruto turned around, Sasuke giving him a mild and sheepish smile that was impossible for him to deny. Sasuke kissed him and took his time, grabbing Naruto's hand tightly. He interlocked their fingers and held Naruto's hand up to his chest so that Naruto could feel Sasuke's heartbeat on the back of his palm. It was beating quickly. Perhaps this was Sasuke's way of communicating his feelings with Naruto. Naruto decided that this would be enough for him.

"Everything's going to work out fine, Naruto," Sasuke told him as Naruto rested his chin on Sasuke's shoulder. He still couldn't get his heart rate to slow, but otherwise, his façade was flawless. "Remember, you're stuck with me."

He wanted Naruto to know that he was serious about this. Itachi was the immediate threat to their situation currently, over the next few days or weeks. They could both guess, but neither knew exactly how he would react when or if he discovered Naruto.

Regardless, time would pass. Sasuke would get older, he'd go to college, then medical school… Naruto wouldn't be a minor for much longer either. In a couple years, he'd be able to go wherever he pleased. They'd both meet many people in the future. Their lives were bound to change dramatically, and probably, so would they. Regardless, he would never let Naruto slip through his fingers.

"Like brain worms or somethin', eh?"

Sasuke raised a brow at the rather bizarre comparison, shaking his head with a light snicker.

"Exactly like brain worms."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like! Creating Aiko was an interesting endeavor, as canon Juugo's parents were never introduced. And Itachi got Ferret back.
> 
> Please let me know what you think so far; comments are my lifeblood.


	49. Chapter 49

There was a gentle rap on Sasuke's door at around ten in the morning. The sunlight had seeped in as the morning progressed, and Naruto was lying in bed with Sasuke, both of them shirtless, limbs hopelessly entangled.

"Just a sec," Sasuke called back.

It had been two days since Itachi had returned from the hospital. Naruto and Sasuke had done this before. Naruto would  _quietly_ slink into the closet and shut the door as much as he could without making the lock click.

Sasuke was thankful that they were in California. Building codes ensured that housing structures were made sturdy enough to withstand earthquakes, and thus were much less vulnerable to creaks. Shikamaru, an old friend who moved to the area from Pittsburgh when he was in grade school, once told Sasuke that some of the houses there would creak so loudly that you could hear people's steps in the attic from the basement. They would've been done for.

Sasuke shook Naruto quickly, wasting no time in waking the heavy sleeper up. He put his hand over Naruto's mouth so that he wouldn't make any noises of complaint before he'd gained consciousness. As usual, Naruto silently zipped into the closet, giving Sasuke a wink and a goodbye wave as he closed the door behind him. Sasuke opened the door. Nothing was amiss.

"You're up late, Sasuke," Itachi scolded.

Sasuke rubbed an eye with the heel of his palm, trying to boot it into functioning. He smoothed down his hair quickly.

"It's ten in the morning on Christmas break," Sasuke mumbled, still not completely coherent. "Let me live my life."

Itachi wasn't here just to wake Sasuke up, though should it near noon, he might have just had to step in and say something. According to Dr. Sannin's instructions, he still wasn't allowed to use the stairs unsupervised. It might not have been such a problem if their house didn't have twenty stairs. This meant that every time he needed to go upstairs or downstairs, he had to request Sasuke's help.

Sasuke could hear Itachi walking around the floor throughout the day, building his strength. Both brothers were grateful that Sasuke at least didn't have to supervise Itachi's walking. Honestly, Itachi found this stairs business more of a hassle than Sasuke did. It was frustrating that he'd have to ask his little brother's help for something he could so clearly do himself, even if it would have taken him a while. On Sasuke's part, it at least gave Itachi's whereabouts some predictability. Nor now, he would be notified every time Itachi switched floors.

"You want me to change the wicks before breakfast?"

Itachi sighed, "Yeah, let's get it over with."

Sasuke followed Itachi into his bedroom. Itachi was now able to get himself onto his bed just fine, sitting down and using his very weak abs and his arms to pull his body up onto the bed unaided. Itachi lifted up his shirt. He reached for the long strip of gauze on his side, only for Sasuke to smack his hand away roughly. Itachi's  _stomach_  was delicate. The guy wasn't a fucking flower.

"No. Your hand's unsterilized."

Itachi rolled his eyes, reminded uncannily of his mother at the moment. Sasuke used some antiseptic on his hands and put on a pair of slightly loose latex gloves. He reached for Itachi's "kit," as they called it. It was a brown bag with gauze, gloves, tweezers, scissors, medical tape, long-stemmed Q-tips, and small little gauze bits the nurse called "wicks."

He gently took off the gauze and medical tape from Itachi's stomach, revealing a four inch long incision running down Itachi's abdomen. It was deep and straight, dark red and bound together by about ten medical staples. In between each of these staples were wicks, shoved almost an inch into Itachi's insides. They were there to soak up Itachi's bodily fluids released as the wound healed. It was rather "gross," as Itachi put it with a crinkled nose when a nurse explained the wicks to the brothers.

Changing them was Sasuke's job. Ordinarily, a nurse would have done this for a while longer, but neither of them had the money for that. So the nurse had taught Sasuke herself. He closely watched the nurse remove and replace the wicks, one by one, as she talked Sasuke through it.

Itachi had plenty to practice on, so Sasuke replaced the last five wicks singlehandedly in the presence of the nurse. He was told he'd done a perfect job, though he noticed that his brother clenched his jaw throughout the entire procedure. Still, he'd done the same with the nurse.

If Sasuke wanted to be a doctor, this would be a good place to start. The wicks came back blood-stained and with a yellowish coloration on the top. He tossed them aside into a designated trash bag and later worked on replacing the wick.

He had to insert the wick just deep enough so that it would stay in, no more than about an inch. Before the healing had begun, this would have been a path straight into Itachi's abdominal cavity. If he went too far, he'd injure the scar tissue and impede Itachi's healing. He had to wait until he felt just the right amount of resistance.

To complicate matters, he was aiming for a moving target. As Itachi healed, Sasuke would have to insert the wick shallower to accumulate for building scar tissue. Eventually, the wicks would hardly be able to go in, at which point Sasuke's work would be done. They told them that this would take a couple weeks. A nurse would come next week to check on Itachi and tell Sasuke which wicks he could permanently remove.

This was Sasuke's first time changing wicks unsupervised, however. He was in charge of the entire procedure. He was a little nervous, his palms sweaty under the latex. He was afraid of doing something like ripping scar tissue, disturbing a staple, or just causing Itachi undue pain.

He would've rather learned on his own body, preferring to feel the pain personally than to watch his brother endure it. Besides, it would have given him a better indication of how much pressure to apply. He removed the wicks steadily but quickly, each one coming from inside Itachi's recovering muscle. Itachi was silent, clenching his teeth and holding his breath.

The worst part was putting the new wicks in. Any moron could remove them, but it took patience and skill to insert them properly and just deeply enough to optimize healing. It took delicacy, precision, and decisiveness to make things as comfortable for his brother as possible. Hesitating because he was "afraid to hurt him" would only prolong his discomfort, so Sasuke had to act confidently.

"Hanging in there?"

Sasuke figured he'd give Itachi a breather before he began inserting the wicks.

"What are you talking about? This is a walk in the park."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, readying his supplies for this next task. He took the Q-tip and the first wick, pushing the Q-tip into Itachi's stomach as it moved the wick in with it. When he felt an adequate amount of resistance, he moved on to the next one. And then the next. Sasuke would never be anything other than neat and thorough, but he didn't want this to take any longer than necessary. Ten staples, with nine wicks between them.

"No one can say we're not close brothers now," Sasuke commented.

It was something he otherwise wouldn't have said. He just wanted to take Itachi's attention off the giant gauze bits Sasuke was shoving into his stomach. It was true enough though, Sasuke thought. It was just the two of them now. They'd been raised together, lost their folks together, bought a house for just the two of them, and for Christ's sake, Sasuke had even been  _inside_  of him.

He tried to mentally rephrase that last bit in a way that didn't make him want to vomit.

"That's for sure. God, you're practically operating on me," Itachi said with a light chuckle.

"Milking this situation for all the experience I can get, rest assured."

He worked on the next wick, his hands itching and uncomfortably compressed under the gloves. He looked forward to taking them off, though with his desired profession, he figured it was something he needed to eventually get used to.

"Not a bad start for a fifteen-year-old. I think you'll be a good doctor, Sasuke."

"I know," Sasuke answered in a matter-of-fact tone.

Itachi rolled his eyes before wincing. It seemed like rather ironic timing given Itachi's compliment, but Sasuke had come close to the ending point of Itachi's wound. That was another lovely part about this whole wick replacement deal: it only gets worse. Currently, it wasn't that bad, as Sasuke was working so deep inside Itachi's body. But as the tissue regenerated, so too would its nerve endings.

"Only one more after this one. There's a lot of healing at this end. Hope you missed the nerve endings, because they're coming back."

Itachi sighed.

"I missed them alright. I'm having the time of my life."

Sasuke snickered, "At least you have a conversation piece now."

Itachi glanced down, giving the incision site a quick glimpse.

"I'll have to hit up the beach so I can flaunt it."

"You know what they say about girls and scars."

"I hope it's true. It's been  _way_  too long since my last girlfriend," Itachi admitted.

The thought of Itachi dating again seemed foreign, if not even a little unnerving, to Sasuke. After all, as Itachi had said himself, it had been years. Currently, Itachi hardly even had time for Sasuke and his small handful of friends.

All work and no play was part of Itachi's image to Sasuke these days. He wondered if this is how children felt when their parents started dating after a divorce. But this was his older brother for Christ's sake.

"Last wick. Ready?"

"Yeah…" Itachi answered.

Sasuke knew that this one would be the worst, but even still, Itachi fortunately hadn’t regained much feeling. Sasuke nodded, inhaled, and in a few seconds, he was done. Sasuke neatly placed a new pad of gauze against Itachi's scar and taped it down. As Sasuke cleaned up, disposing of all used equipment and finally taking off the damned gloves, Itachi rested. The wick changing wasn't as painful as it looked, really. At least not for now. Itachi just needed a few seconds to compose himself before venturing downstairs.

Sasuke gave Itachi a casual hand to help him stand, out of courtesy rather than necessity. Itachi walked at a steady pace to the stairs. Itachi preferred it when Sasuke was always a step in front of him when he went downstairs, so that he could bring him down slowly with each step. One hand on the rail and the other grasping his brother's hand, Itachi went down his first step. Then his next. Half way through, he was getting winded.

"Let's take a break," Sasuke offered.

"On the middle of the stairs?" Itachi asked disbelievingly.

"Just until you catch your breath."

"No, let's continue. I just want to sit as soon as possible."

Sasuke heeded Itachi's wish, continuing down the stairs.

"Are you dizzy?"

Itachi pressed his body against the rail, taking a deep and unsteady inhale.

"C'mon," Sasuke braced himself on the rail and offered Itachi his arm, facing his brother. "I don't want you falling. Hold on to my arm tight."

Itachi put his entirely forearm on Sasuke's shoulder and bicep, leaning into him heavily for support as he braced himself on the rail as well. Itachi could feel his brother's tensing muscles well, especially as Sasuke still hadn't bothered to put on a shirt.

Since Itachi's return, they had started running the heat again, so there wasn't much need for one. They figured it would be best for Itachi's recovery, as Itachi always seemed to run cold these days. Itachi stumbled slightly after a few steps, but Sasuke easily caught him. He'd been all too prepared.

"Itachi, you'd better not try these steps without me because you think you're feeling better. I swear to God, I will wait for you to fully recuperate just so I can kick your ass properly."

Finally they made it to the bottom of the stairs. Itachi looked like he'd run a marathon. Sasuke had Itachi support himself on the rail and quickly rushed into Itachi's study, the nearest room, coming out with a rolling desk chair. Itachi had taken a seat in a matter of seconds. Sasuke rolled Itachi to the table, readying himself to cook them breakfast. There was really no purpose in switching Itachi to a less comfortable dining room chair, so he'd just eat from where he sat.

"Itachi, do you think it's because we changed the wicks just before you went downstairs?"

"No…" Itachi answered. "I honestly think I'm just hungry, and my blood sugar was a little low."

"Isn't there any food in your room?"

"No, I finished it last night."

Sasuke paused. They'd kept some food up in Itachi's room for these situations especially. It wasn't much, but it was at least enough to keep him from getting light-headed, as he had a tendency to do.

"Wait… How long have you been awake for?"

"Since around seven."

"You've been up since seven with no food, and you didn't let me know?" Sasuke asked accusatorily.

"Well no… I didn't want to disrupt your sleep, so I just read."

"Itachi, how many times do I have to tell you…"

Sasuke groaned, holding his face in his hand.

"It's no bother. I just woke you up when I was hungry."

"Evidently so hungry you couldn't do the stairs without almost falling. Think of yourself a little more," Sasuke told Itachi, sounding rather bossy and annoyed.

"You think I like being a helpless invalid?" Itachi asked, anger working its way into his voice. Sasuke immediately faced Itachi, befuddled by his sudden change in tone, which was so rare to hear from Itachi. "Do you think I like needing so much of your help? You're my little brother. I should be taking care of  _you_. And now I'm nothing but a…"

"Burden?" Sasuke offered for him.

Itachi seemed shocked that Sasuke had picked off the word. He prayed that Sasuke didn't agree with it.

"I know that feeling," Sasuke continued. "It's how I felt when you got sick, and you desperately needed the money, and all I could do was work at churches and mow lawns. Or when the fire happened and  _you_  were the one who had to deal with getting me in custody, feeding me, clothing me, and getting me through all of my angsty bullshit. And what did I contribute in the end? I know what it's like to feel like a burden, but you're not one. If you have to wake me up at fucking four in the morning, you do it, because you're the only reason I'm not stuck in a foster home God knows where or even worse, juvie. Every time you ask me for help, I feel like a little  _less_  of a burden. So think of it as doing me a favor. Got it?"

Itachi watched Sasuke silently, hard-pressed to remember the last time he'd heard Sasuke speak so much, or  _admit_  to so much. Despite the vulnerable subject matter, Sasuke sounded confident and even a little pissed off. What could he do for Itachi if he kept refusing Sasuke's help? Besides, if Itachi was really that concerned about hassling Sasuke, he should know that a nasty fall would cause a lot more than a hassle.

"Sasuke, you're just as vital to me as I am to you. There's just two of us, so of course we need each other's help. We're a team."

"You said it yourself." Sasuke smiled crookedly. "Now just listen to your own advice."

* * *

By the time Sasuke was able to sneak breakfast up to Naruto, it was about noon. Things had been hectic around the house, to say the least. Naruto was gleefully chowing down on a dish of eggs and sausages. Naruto and he hadn't spoken to each other much today. Doing so was rather awkward, given that they were always at risk of being overheard.

Naruto was just fine with entertaining himself, thankfully. After all, he'd been restricted to people watching for over a year. Sasuke took his spare time to call Juugo, sitting at foot of the bed as Naruto played muted Halo on the computer. He hadn't seen Juugo in a little while, so he figured it was best to check in on him and tell him why he hadn't stopped by. The phone only rang twice.

"Huh?" a raspy female voice answered.

Must've been another patient. Sasuke believed he could even place her face. She was the one who brushed her hair incessantly while humming to herself. If Juugo's fellow patients were all on a spectrum of sanity, she was certainly towards the rather depleted end.

"Yeah, may I speak to Juugo?"

"Hm."

The woman seemed to contemplate Sasuke's request until she slammed the cordless phone down on something hard. Sasuke heard a rather graceless, "JUUUUUUGO! IT'S FOR YOOOOOU!"

God, at that volume, Juugo could've been in the parking lot and still heard her. He thought he heard a male voice responding, probably Juugo's.

"Who's this?" the woman asked in a smoker's voice.

"Sasuke."

"IT'S SAAAASUKEEEEE!"

Sasuke held the receiver away from his ear and stared at the phone with his best "you gotta be fuckin kidding me" face. Naruto heard the woman's yelling all the way at the desk. He covered his mouth to refrain from laughing, thoroughly enjoying Sasuke's pain. Naruto knew, when it came to his laughter, that it would be all or nothing, and one of his hearty bellows would give them away.

"Hey dude," Juugo's rather exasperated voice came over the phone.

"Who the fuck was that?"

Juugo sighed, "Hairbrush lady. She goes by Chastity."

"More like Frau Farbissina."

Juugo laughed, naturally catching the reference. Suigetsu had forced them all to watch Austin Powers together at Karin's place. Sasuke was never what he'd call a fan, but it didn't stop him from making the occasional reference. Naruto seemed to be in the know as well, unable to stop a quiet "pffft" from emitting.

"Thanks for the image. And if you think that was bad, you should hear her during Monopoly."

"JUUUUGOOOO! I HEARD THAAAT!"

Sasuke snickered into the phone.

"And despite all that yelling, she happens to have very. Sensitive. Hearing."

"YOU ASSHOOOOOLE!"

"Sasuke, please save me from her," Juugo whispered.

Sasuke didn't know whether to feel more amused or sympathetic.

"Getting sick of all the crazy?"

"It's not that bad," he told Sasuke with another belabored sigh. "Ninety percent of the patients here are chill, and I've made some friends. But it only takes a few, ya know? They're impossible to ignore."

"Apparently so."

"I just get so sick of them after a while," Juugo continued. "Sometimes I seriously wanna wring their necks and…"

"Isn't this the kind of behavior you're there to avoid?" Sasuke asked with a brow arched, his facial expression infused in his tone.

"So you understand my predicament."

"Yeah. I'd want to wring some necks too if I were stuck in a room with that Frau thing for a month."

Sasuke lay down fully now, resting his head on the pillow and crossing his legs. Sasuke was already such an introvert. He didn't know how he'd handle being stuck in a psychiatric ward. Juugo had a roommate, so he wasn't even alone when he slept.

To make matters worse, some of these people were very difficult to ignore, as Juugo expressed. Sasuke hoped he'd learn to deal with increased socialization throughout his college career, after all the dorms and cafeterias, but he was thankful that he'd probably never have to deal with  _this_.

"Oh, Sasuke," Juugo answered, his voice sounding a little more chipper. "I forgot to tell you. I have some news."

"Hm?"

"They're gonna let me out soon. They're aiming for some time next week."

"About time. Grats."

"Seriously. The minute they told me they weren't sending me to Konoha again, I wanted to get the fuck out of here. All they have is ping pong, board games, a deck of cards, and shitty N64 games."

Sasuke very well remembered that conversation. He was still a little disappointed that Juugo wouldn't be his classmate anymore, but this course of action really did seem to be the best for Juugo. He actually stood a chance of catching up this way, maybe even going on to college if he so chose.

"Don't diss the N64."

"All they got is Tigger's Honey Hunt, Blues Brothers 2000, and Superman," Juugo said flatly.

That did sound pretty abominable treatment for a crowd that already had mental health issues. Why not torture and mentally scar them with horrible video games in the process?

"Shit… In that case, I don't even know what to say. My condolences," Sasuke told him in mock sincerity.

"I was ninety-four percent through Heavy Rain when I got here," Juugo griped playfully. "I miss my PS3."

"Rough," Sasuke answered absentmindedly, though a fragment of him was actually being serious. Juugo had probably been tortured with quite the cliffhanger over the past month. "On that note, I have some news to tell you."

"Hm?"

"They let Itachi come home a couple days ago. He's back at the house now."

"That's awesome!" Juugo answered, sounding genuinely and perhaps somewhat uncharacteristically enthused. "How's he doing?"

Sasuke shrugged, despite the fact that Juugo couldn't see him.

"He's alright. Weak, but improving quickly."

"Good."

"But I'm gonna be home these days. I want to keep an eye on him, so I won't be able to see you for a week or two."

Of course, he neglected that a big reason for staying at home was to keep Naruto from running into Itachi. He wondered if Juugo would ever find out about Naruto at all.

"Do what you have to do, Sasuke. Like I said, I'm gonna be home soon anyway."

"Alright, cool."

There was a slow pause between them.

"Hey, Sasuke… I know around now was the time Suigetsu and Kabuto were going to…you know…"

Sasuke frowned.

"Yeah…"

He wasn't planning on telling Juugo that piece of news, not while he was stuck there. He figured Juugo already had enough to deal with without hearing about this.

"That…doesn't sound good."

"I was going to wait until you got out to tell you."

"I can handle it."

Juugo did seem to always be in good spirits when Sasuke visited. He was apparently adjusting well, though Sasuke realized it all could've been a front. Still, if Juugo said he could handle it, Sasuke would believe him.

"They got caught. Busted for armed robbery."

Juugo had no response, or at least not for the moment.

"No one was hurt, but the cops caught them, and they had a gun."

"Holy shit…"

"Yeah."

"How'd it happen?"

The concern in Juugo's voice was obvious. He'd always been compassionate, or at least much more so than Sasuke. It was easy to mistake his quietness for indifference, but Sasuke knew him much better than that.

"The guy who Kabuto claimed was in Europe was really in Santa Barbara for a two day road trip. He came home early. That's all I know."

"So Kabuto  _lied_?" Juugo asked, with naïve surprise.

"You say that like it's shocking."

Juugo sighed.

"I suppose I should've seen it coming. You were right."

"Again, you say that like it's shocking."

"Shut up, prick," Juugo responded, almost laughing.

Sasuke snickered, fully aware that Juugo lacked any decent comeback. They were both silent for several more seconds.

"What're they gonna do with Suigetsu?"

"His court date's in a month. We're hoping for juvie."

"Poor bastard."

Sasuke grunted in agreement, though God, Suigetsu had been stupid. He didn't know whether he felt more frustrated or sympathetic. It was completely avoidable, but then again, if Sasuke had stayed on the path he'd followed previously, maybe all five of them would be in the same predicament.

"How's Karin?" Juugo asked quietly.

"She's…not taking it very well. But I think she'll be okay."

"Ah… And Kabuto?" Juugo asked.

"Hell if I care. He's fucked. His bail is posted at fifty grand."

With the knowledge that Kabuto lied and wreaked some serious damage on Suigetsu's life in doing so, it was difficult for Sasuke to feel much empathy. He wasn't particularly disposed to such an emotion to begin with. Yet Juugo still had it in him?

"Damn, Sasuke… If you hadn't talked some sense into my sorry ass, I'd probably be in prison right now. I was  _so_  close to doing it," Juugo trailed off, his voice sounding rather distant. "That kinda gets to me."

It was true that of the five of them, besides Kabuto, Juugo was likely to get the harshest punishment. Juugo and Kabuto were the only members of the group over eighteen. Even Juugo's clean record might not have been enough to prevent a stay in prison.

" _Someone_  had to talk some sense into you."

"I really,  _really_  owe you one. Seriously, thank you. My entire life is on another course thanks to you."

Sasuke hadn't really thought of that much. He'd saved both Karin and Juugo from something that would have haunted their lives. For as wayward of a path he'd walked along since the fire, he'd done a lot of good in the past couple months.

"If you're this grateful, then promise me you're never going to consider something like this again."

"Yeah… I'm really not down for playing butt darts in prison. Besides, with the meds, and them taking me out of Konoha for a private tutor… For the first time in years, I feel like there's actually  _hope_  for me."

"I'm glad to hear that," Sasuke acknowledged. "But that still didn't sound like a promise to me."

Juugo hesitated. Promises were always unnerving for Sasuke as well. Sure, he didn't want to do anything at the time, but it was difficult to predict the future. Then again, that was the purpose of promises to begin with. They were never meant to be easy.

"Alright, fine. I promise. It's the least I can do."

"Cool."

"JUUUUUUGOOOOO!"

The same damned woman.

"Nooo," Juugo groaned.

"I think she likes you," Sasuke teased rather mercilessly.

"No, fuck that. Abort."

"I caught her staring at you."

This was true, but said woman had a tendency to stare at…many different things.

"What?"

"She probably has a shrine for you in her room as we speak."

"JUUUUUUGOOO! IT'S MONOPOLY NIGHT!"

"No, that shit's not right. You're an asshole, Sasuke."

"GET OFF THE PHOOONE! WE'RE BEGINNING THE GAME IMMEDIATELY!"

Frau, as Sasuke would lazily assign her, must've been fairly close to Juugo, given her voice's volume. He glanced over at Naruto, who had his hand over his mouth and was starting to turn a light pink as he muffled his laughter.

"I should probably go," Juugo said meekly.

"I feel like I'm sending you to your death."

"Only a few more days… Just a few more days."

"You put Kabuto in the hospital. You can handle Frau."

Juugo let out a long sigh.

"Thanks for the encouragement, but I think this is worse."

"Off to the battle front with you then. Later."

"Yeah, later."

Sasuke ended the call and placed the phone back on his desk.

"Holy shitsticks," Naruto whispered. "I could hear that woman all the way from here."

Sasuke tried not to picture said "shitstick" and what purpose a shitstick might serve should a shitstick be an actual thing. Naruto started one of Sasuke's playlists to allow them to communicate more safely. Avenged Sevenfold seemed to be up next.

"Yeah, she's out of her fucking gourd."

"Eeehh… I've seen worse."

"Really now?" Sasuke asked skeptically.

"Yeah. I mean, hobos don't tend to be the most mentally stable lot, and we stick together."

He hadn't heard Naruto refer to himself that way in a while, and it was easy for Sasuke to forget where Naruto had come from. It seemed so far behind him, given all that had occurred since Naruto moved in with him. In reality, it had only been a couple of months ago that Naruto slept on the streets. Naruto looked nothing like he used to look, once so emaciated but now so strong and healthy. Still, Naruto was still Naruto, and his past life was more recent than Sasuke sometimes realized.

"You're not a hobo anymore, Naruto."

Naruto frowned. To not be homeless, you needed a home. This  _felt_  like home. However, in reality, it was more a temporary shelter than a home. He wasn't even supposed to be here. He doubted his days in the Uchiha household would extend much farther.

"Let's hope not."

Sasuke hated watching Naruto's mood sink, so he let out a deep sigh and fell back on the bed.

"I'm bored," Sasuke announced.

Their days were becoming rather dull and claustrophobic, the two of them so rarely able to leave Sasuke's small bedroom. Naruto slunk onto bed with him, fighting the urge to pounce. He didn't want to make any more noise than was necessary.

Naruto ran his hand up Sasuke's chest, his flesh only slightly cold from the surrounding air now that their home was heated. Sasuke never had bothered to put on a shirt today. Still, the light chill of Naruto's hands caused Sasuke's nipples to perk proudly as Naruto pinched one of them quickly. Sasuke gasped. He hadn't been expecting any sort of advance.

"I can fix that for you."

Sasuke glanced around his room briefly, as if his brother could have miraculously been tucked behind his desk.

"We shouldn't be fucking around. He might hear us."

More accurately, Sasuke might have said, "He might hear  _you_." Sasuke could be as silent as the dead if he so pleased, though there was a sort of blissful freedom in letting himself go. Naruto was the loud one. The older licked his lips.

"Then we'll have to be very,  _very_  quiet."

Naruto sucked at Sasuke's nipple, swirling his tongue around the areola. Sasuke grasped his bed sheets tightly, determined not to announce his desires.

"The bed creaks," Sasuke added.

Naruto moved up on Sasuke, his hot breath misting his ear.

"Then I'll have to be very,  _very_  careful when I pound my cock into you."

Sasuke recoiled. It was unfortunate that Naruto was on top of him now.

"Who the hell said  _you're_  going to be the one fucking  _me_?"

Naruto merely smiled at him knowingly, which only pissed Sasuke off more. He kissed Sasuke's neck, nipping the skin and sucking on it.

"If you give me a hickey in such an obvious place, I'll fucking murder you." Sasuke threatened sternly.

Naruto smirked, tilting his head as he stared down at Sasuke, leisurely consuming the sight of his ivory muscles, his pectorals and abs, so well defined for his age. He was unimpressed by Sasuke's threat but acquiesced to his demands nonetheless. Sasuke didn't need anything more to explain to Itachi.

Naruto had set on topping him, his hands now reaching under and cupping his ass as he kissed Sasuke viciously, their tongues clashing against each other. Naruto must've been horny for some time. They'd been preoccupied lately, and their sex life kept in check.

Sasuke didn't know how he could fight Naruto, currently. He was pinned to the bed, and any struggle was likely to be noisy. Sasuke bit Naruto's bottom lip punitively, his smoldering obsidian eyes, which seemed so dark as to cast out all of the morning light, staring back at him.

"Let's get this straight, Uzumaki. It's going to be my cock, shoved fully and completely into your ass that you have no choice but to let go, biting your lip so hard you bleed just  _trying_  to stay quiet."

Naruto raised his brows in feigned surprise.

"Well then, isn't it a strange coincidence that you happen to be pinned beneath me?" Naruto mused cockily.

"There are ways around that."

Naruto sighed.

"You're so uptight, Sasuke. Remember the first time we made love? You can't tell me you didn't enjoy it, when I was inside of you."

Sasuke sulked, staring off to the side and trying to keep a pinkish flush from coming to his cheeks.

"So what's with this… 'I'm top, and you're bottom' fixation you have here? I know you love it when I fuck you..." Naruto's words were lewd, and they made Sasuke nearly shudder. "It's pleasure. Who cares how you're getting it? Why can't you ever just…go with the flow and  _feel_?"

"I could say the same to you," Sasuke rebutted stubbornly. "You loved every minute. If it doesn't matter how you get to that place, then why do  _you_  have to be on top?"

Naruto reached his hand under Sasuke's sweatpants, pleased by the lack of undergarments.

"I've only gotten to top once," Naruto frowned. "You're always on top. It's bullshit."

"I didn't realize we were keeping score," Sasuke replied.

They'd had sex at least a handful of times now. Sasuke had stopped counting, though Naruto had certainly remembered, Sasuke was sure. He was the sort. Only once had Naruto been the one to fuck him: their first time. It had occurred under rather vulnerable conditions for Sasuke. He had a fever, had gone a full night without sleep, and his brother had almost died hours beforehand. It was more an act of comfort than one of dominance. This was different.

Naruto groped, feeling for Sasuke's budding erection. Sasuke cast his head off to the side, found out.

"Besides, you certainly look like you're enjoying yourself now."

God, what he wouldn't give to settle this just how he usually did: sparring with the stubborn son of a bitch until he could finally get him under his power. But quiet, they had to be quiet…

He  _preferred_  being on top…usually. Protecting Naruto outside of the bedroom satisfied some of these urges, but nothing compared to plowing deep inside of him, making him beg for him, driving him to the very brink as an ecstasy that only Sasuke controlled coursed through his veins.

Yet in certain situations, in given moods… Submitting to Naruto, feeling so owned and sometimes even just cared for, offered an intoxication too great to resist. He had submitted only in a state of weakness. Yet he couldn't deny the content of his dreams, both the ones that occurred in wakefulness and in sleep. Submission was something Sasuke outlawed in his daily life, a forbidden fruit in his eyes.

Naruto began to pump Sasuke's erection steadily, and Sasuke clenched his teeth, determined not to let on. He wanted nothing more to turn Naruto’s irritatingly smug expression into unbridled ecstasy, his lover holding his hand over his mouth as he put all willpower into staying silent.

"You can't fuck me on this bed," Sasuke hissed. "We can't fight either. It's too loud. You don't stand a chance."

Naruto sighed at Sasuke's stubbornness, though he supposed he was being every bit as stubborn. It about time for his turn, dammit!

"Just shut up already."

Naruto took Sasuke's cock in his mouth, pumping and sucking quickly. Almost as if by reflex, Sasuke latched onto Naruto's hair, his abused jaw muscles keeping his mouth clamped shut. He continued, keeping the same rhythm, his hand ghosting and ever so gently rubbing Sasuke's sack.

He didn't need to hear Sasuke's panting and moaning to reassure he was doing well. The slight flush on Sasuke's face and his death grip on the sheets were enough to tell him that much. Would this make Sasuke change his tune?

There was near total silence between them, the wet sounds of Naruto's mouth on Sasuke's dick just barely audible between them, and most certainly indiscernible through closed doors. The band named Zeromancer left Sasuke's speakers next, sensual industrial rock drowning them out.

Sasuke felt himself begin to leak. He couldn't struggle. He could hardly move. He felt captive, almost as if he had been bound. The fact that this was so daring, that he had to remain silent as the dead only aroused Sasuke more. He was the only one who knew that he was in this bed with his cock in Naruto’s mouth.

Naruto sucked harder, same movements and rhythm, but a faster beat. Yet complete silence. Naruto's eyes dragged up to Sasuke's face, the pale lips just partially parted with Sasuke's brows knit. Sasuke looked down at Naruto, who licked up the vein along the underside of Sasuke's sex.

Sasuke's balls tightened, his muscles contorted… He was close. Naruto quickly moistened his ring finger, reaching under and pushing it past Sasuke's pucker. Azure orbs never parted from Sasuke's lips, the bottom one now bitten to stifle Sasuke's surprise. Naruto thrust his finger in, mildly pumping back and forth. Sasuke felt his body begin to tingle, almost uncomfortably hot, every muscle tensing… He couldn't hold it in much longer. He felt as though something had seized him, wracking his senses.

"N-now…"

He closed his eyes tight and bit down hard. It was the only way to silence himself. Naruto helped him along, sucking him dry as he finally relieved Sasuke. Sasuke's breathing slowed, his lids drooping shut as he stared at Naruto lethargically.

"So… Have I changed your mind?" Naruto asked slyly.

The unfortunate fact was that Naruto could not take Sasuke on the bed. He couldn't simply turn him on his stomach and commence. Naruto had several ideas for placement that would not disclose his presence, but all of these required complete cooperation from Sasuke.

Sasuke smiled up at Naruto, staring into his eyes euphorically. Naruto smiled back. Checkmate. He was correct, after all. With that expression, Sasuke's eyes full of pleasure and love, Naruto's victory was a given. Nothing like a nice blow job to make your boyfriend a little bit less stubborn.

"Fuck no," Sasuke almost purred.

" _What?_ " Naruto blurted back, slightly confused by Sasuke's tone.

Sasuke was silent as he reveled in the remaining bliss of his orgasm.

"Answer me, bastard!"

Even the soft sheets felt pleasurable beneath Sasuke.

"That was a great blow job, but it doesn't mean I'm going to let you fuck me," Sasuke murmured.

"What the hell do I have to do then?!"

Sasuke shrugged.

"I've just decided that, on this particular day, I'm going to fuck you. And nothing you do can change my mind."

"C'mon! I'm all ready to go!" Naruto answered, pointing to his crotch. Seriously, the tact (or lack thereof) this guy could have… "You won't be able to get it up again for at least like ten minutes!"

"I can think of  _plenty_  of activities to occupy ten minutes," Sasuke answered lasciviously.

"Jeeeesus, Mary, and Joseph…" Naruto groaned, barely refraining from attending to the all too obvious issue between his legs. "Just give in already!"

"After you."

Sasuke had just been satisfied. Naruto had not. He'd had gone too far to turn back now. Something had to be done! But what?

"I got it."

"Hm?" Sasuke asked, beginning to recover his energy yet again.

"Rock, paper, scissors," Naruto beamed, as if his solution were too ingenious to express in the English language.

" _What._ " Sasuke answered, more of an expression of his feelings towards Naruto's ludicrousness rather than an actual question.

"Yeah! Neither of us is gonna give in, so we'll leave it up to fate."

"No, I'm going to fuck you."

"No. No, you're not," Naruto beamed. " _Unless_  you beat me in rock, paper, scissors."

Sasuke slid up in bed, propping the upward half of his body up. He regarded the other tentatively for several seconds, and Naruto continued to grin back at him.

Without both parties’ cooperation, nothing could be done. It was just too noisy. If only they could have just resolved this like they normally did: with physical strength, head locks, restrained wrists, and a lot of swearing. Unfortunately, they had to come to a verbal agreement, which was not one of either male's strengths.

"Fine."

"One, two, three, shoot?" Naruto asked.

"Yup."

Sasuke pegged Naruto as the type of guy to go with rock, in which case, Sasuke should choose paper. However, Naruto might realize that he came across as this sort, as it was rather obvious. If he predicted Sasuke's thoughts, then he'd choose scissors, to beat Sasuke's paper. In that case, Sasuke should go with a rock to beat out Naruto's scissors.

However, that all relied on Naruto's level of self-awareness. If he could count on Naruto to regard it as simply a game of chance, Sasuke should probably go with paper.

"One, two, three…"

Paper or rock? Paper or rock?

"Shoot!"

Sasuke went with paper, and Naruto…scissors. Naruto, barely able to contain his excitement, flailed his fists about in victory.

"No. No 'best out of three'," Naruto said, effectively reading Sasuke's thoughts. "You're  _mine_!"

Sasuke jerked towards Naruto, yanking him in by the collar and kissing him, shoving his tongue into his mouth. He bit Naruto's bottom lip, fiercely staring back.

"Then fucking take me."

Several songs had passed by now, Nine Inch Nails currently filling the room. Naruto stared back dumbly for a few seconds, words temporarily forsaking him. He felt the swelling skin around his genitalia become just a little tighter, licking at his suddenly dry mouth.

Sasuke stood, walking over to the wall next to his desk. He would then be able to support some of his weight on the desk should his legs begin to fail him. He glanced back at Naruto commandingly. Just because Naruto was going to fuck him didn't mean that Sasuke couldn't take control.

Naruto couldn't help but stare for a little longer. His entire body had been shouting at him to move forward, so why was he still? Sasuke's pants were still on, but he was shirtless, leaning against the wall on one forearm and looking backwards towards Naruto impatiently. Sasuke's bare back showed a mild contour, his skin barely flushed and misted in sweat.

His jet black hair was uncharacteristically disheveled from their previous activities. It was like the most succulent cut of fillet mignon had just been set in front of him, a viand with a presentation almost too perfect to mar by eating it.

"Well?"

Naruto closed the space between them as quickly as he could with such gentle footsteps, lube in hand. He traced his fingers against Sasuke’s back, around to his stomach and trailing down his happy trail. He easily slid Sasuke’s sweatpants past his thin hips, the garment falling to the ground. Sasuke was naked and bare, a sight so alluring that Naruto had to pause, if only for a moment, to take it in.

He pushed Sasuke's chest against the wall, trailing his fingertips down Sasuke's spine and allowing his erection to incidentally bump against Sasuke's ass every now and again. The feeling of the hot, turgid skin against his cheeks reminded Sasuke of what was to come, causing him to shudder.

"Remember to keep your stance. Use the wall for support," Sasuke instructed him, not allowing his voice to betray him. "Don't get lost in the moment."

" _You're_  the one I'm worried about. Try not to scream, 'kay sweetcakes?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, inclining his head backwards. The angle caused his bangs to brush upon his bare shoulders.

"The same goes for you."

Naruto kissed Sasuke again, then kissed the underside of his jaw, his neck, his shoulders. He would nip, and suck, but he wouldn't mark… At least not anywhere that Itachi would be seeing. He took the skin by Sasuke left shoulder into his mouth and began to suck hard. Sasuke knew what he was doing, and this patch of skin… Well, it just looked like he couldn't be roaming the house shirtless anymore. The unexpected pain made Sasuke breathe in, slowly and deeply, relishing the moment.

Sasuke heard the lube squeeze onto Naruto's fingers behind him, his lover's pointer finger clearing his entrance as Naruto kissed down his spine. He thrust his finger into Sasuke, who braced his forearms against the wall and leaned into them, staring at the boring white as he kept his breathing steady.

Naruto's middle finger now scissored with the other minutely inside of him. Naruto had already warmed him up previously, so the change wasn't so stark. It forced Sasuke's feet farther apart, Sasuke moving with caution. He reached down to stroke his own mostly flaccid length, which was beginning to rejuvenate once again. Naruto didn't stop him. Two fingers soon made way to three. The pace must have been torturous to Naruto, who had been hard from the start. He really was a considerate lover.

"Fuck me already," Sasuke panted impatiently, the music almost drowning him out.

"Gladly," Naruto smirked.

He aligned his cock with Sasuke's entrance, Sasuke pushing out his ass just slightly so that he'd be more conveniently located for Naruto. Naruto's head cleared Sasuke's opening, and there went Sasuke's jaw muscles again. His body wanted to tense, but he ordered himself to relax. He didn't recall it being so damned hard to stay silent. God, Naruto was inside of him. It felt like it had been so long ago, and he'd  _missed_  it.

Naruto began to thrust, slowly at first but going a little farther in with each movement. In truth, it had been every bit as difficult for Naruto to remain silent. Sasuke's canal was tight, perfectly conforming to every detail of Naruto's manhood.

Ever since Naruto had first been inside of him, Sasuke had taken more and more to inserting one, if not two fingers in his entrance as he masturbated. He'd forgotten how thick and long Naruto's cock was in comparison. What were those quick and private moments compared to this?

Sasuke his chest was sweating. Naruto peered around Sasuke's body to see that his erection was returning, blushed yet proud. He reached around Sasuke's body and moved his hand down Sasuke's chest, to his abdomen, then squeezing his ass and driving his cheeks farther apart, so Naruto could go deeper. He felt Naruto’s cock repeated brush against his prostate, his body tingling with pleasure.

The only other time Naruto had fucked him, Sasuke had been off his game, to say the least. Fevered, sleep deprived, emotionally exhausted, and having narrowly missed one of the worst tragedies of his life just hours ago, he wasn't in a position to do much more than yield to Naruto's comforting movements. It pulled him together when he felt that he'd just shattered on the floor.

This time, Sasuke was well rested, healthy, and in a stable state of mind. He hadn't…gladly allowed this, per se. It had been luck of the draw, but he was beginning to admit to himself now that losing that game of rock, paper, scissors might not have been such an unfortunate turn of events. Maybe Naruto had been correct in saying that his pride too frequently got in the way. Between fucking Naruto and being fucked, Sasuke  _still_  insisted that he preferred to dominate. But then again, he also appreciated a little variety.

Sasuke was sliding down on the wall, which Naruto was bracing him against as he began to slam into Sasuke. He was deep inside of him, all the way up to the hilt, the muscles of Naruto's arm and lower body clenched to keep his stance from moving.

Sasuke had to reach for the desk, his legs beginning to shake. How could he remain standing? He'd ignored his greedily rising erection a while ago now, dedicating both hands to keeping himself in place and upright. And hell, Naruto's hand, caressing his front, his sides, his nipples, his ass, felt so  _good_.

Sasuke's hips made slight movements, pushing into Naruto's cock as he plowed forward. He wanted everything that Naruto had to offer. The only cue each had from the other was their quickened breathing. Sasuke's palms were leaving almost indiscernible streaks of sweat against the wall as his hands fell down lower. He was trembling. God, Naruto was inside of him, owning him, making him feel this ecstasy. It was Naruto.

Watching Sasuke yield in this way was addictive. As hard and swollen as Naruto's cock and balls were, he couldn't help but take in the details attentively. Sasuke was struggling to stay silent, struggling to take Naruto deeper, struggling to even stand…

The pressure was becoming unbearable. He'd held back for so long. He couldn't resist anymore. And it was then that Sasuke felt Naruto's nails dig into his shoulder, Naruto's body stiffening and bucking.

"Shit…shit," Naruto whispered. "I'm…"

Naruto didn't have to say the word for Sasuke to know. He knew that Naruto was going to unleash into him until he felt his seed dribble down his cheeks and thighs. And of course, that's what happened, Naruto finding silence to be his greatest challenge. Sasuke believed his lip may have started to bleed. All of the tension and fullness of Naruto's body left him, Naruto sighing in relief and pleasure as it left him satisfied.

The cum dribbled down Sasuke's ass. Sasuke turned around and shared a quick glance at Naruto, who was grinning at the sight of Sasuke. They rested on the ground together now, Sasuke hastily cleaning up the aftermath with his discarded sweatpants.

Naruto was panting, bright red and staring at the ground. But Sasuke was still erect, still strong.

"Naruto, brace yourself against the desk."

"Huh?" Naruto asked, barely able to even think as his endorphins hijacked his bloodstream.

"Brace yourself."

Sasuke rose to his knees, pulling Naruto's pants down and grabbing for the lube, which Naruto had placed on the desk. Naruto was on all fours. Sasuke squeezed lube out into his hand, pushing his second finger into Naruto's ass. By now, Sasuke was completely hard.

"Wait… What… But I won!" Naruto responded in confusion, moving one hand up to the desk.

"So you fucked me," Sasuke answered. "But that doesn't mean I can't return the favor."

Naruto began to chuckle, as quietly as possible, "But you can't just… It always has to be your way, huh?"

"Do you realize what you did to me when you fucked me?” Sasuke whispered. “I couldn't even think anymore. My entire universe was you. I want you to feel that too."

Naruto stared forward silently ahead of him, flushing slightly as Sasuke's admission.

"I'm so hard it hurts. I still can't think of anything but you. I need to have you  _now_."

Perhaps Sasuke was operating, partially, out of pride. However, Naruto knew he was speaking from his heart as well, and it was persuasive. Besides, it's not like he would turn something like this from Sasuke down anyway, except due to pride, perhaps.

"To hell with egos already," Naruto answered, readying himself for him. "Take me."

Sasuke wasn't sure how long he could last, as aroused as he already was, but he'd become quite skilled with taking his time. He stretched Naruto out and licked his lips in anticipation as he supported his cock, moving it into Naruto's entrance. He very slowly moved in, but he moved in deeply. Naruto's face went red as he clawed at the desk.

After having been filled, remnants of cum still settling on Sasuke's ass, filling Naruto had taken on another level of satisfaction. It was justice, a perfect circle, a give and take. He was taking the same man who had hijacked his entire consciousness into his own possession. He thrust into Naruto, the built up pressure against the head of his cock almost painful.

"Don't hold back, Sasu. I… I want you to fill me."

Sasuke braced himself against Naruto, his hands on Naruto's back. Silence, of course. Total silence, other than the Led Zeppelin song loudly covering any mishaps. He drove himself deep into Naruto and far out, almost to the head, taking long strokes as he slammed back into his lover.

Naruto bit his lip, and Sasuke's jaw clenched, putting all willpower into not moaning as an almost painfully deep satisfaction ran through them. Sasuke's movements became forceful and drastic. Finally, Sasuke twitched, and a hot and strong tingling sensation coursed through his lower back, pelvis, and cock. The pleasure mounted, and finally all of that pressure was released, Sasuke spurting roughly into Naruto's entrance.

The cum drizzled down Naruto's legs in the same way it had Sasuke's, and the two both silently returned to the floor. Naruto slinked up to Sasuke and kissed him. Sasuke kissed back slowly and sensually, tucking a chunk of hair behind Naruto’s ear and ran his fingers through Naruto’s hair. His second orgasm had been especially strong, and he felt that he was in danger of falling asleep on the floor.

Naruto pet Sasuke affectionately, as he was so apt to do, Sasuke burrowing against Naruto's hand and glancing up at him in an almost catlike fashion. Sasuke returned the favor, holding his hand against Naruto's cheek and brushing his thumb against the raised skin there. Naruto didn't flinch as he used to when his scars were touched, Sasuke noted. He just smiled back.

* * *

Naruto and Sasuke shared a very quick shower together, knowing that Itachi was still downstairs and lacked the ability (and if not, certainly the permission) to ascend the stairs independently. Still, they were brief, despite the fact that they were repeatedly tempted to molest each other. Finally warm and clean, they wormed their way up into bed.

When Sasuke woke up, he noted that it was past five. He'd fallen asleep?

"Shit," Sasuke hissed.

Itachi hadn't called him. Sasuke had the ringer turned up full blast, so this was no shock to him. Still, it didn't mean that Itachi didn't need him. He'd left his brother downstairs, unattended, for five hours. He genuinely hadn't meant to nap for so long. Still naked, Sasuke finally dressed himself for the evening.

Sasuke returned downstairs to find a very groggy Itachi, curled up on the sofa with another one of his textbooks and a highlighter. It did not look like a very comfortable position.

"Hey…" Sasuke announced himself as he grabbed an apple out of the fridge. It was really for Naruto, but he took a bite out of it to avoid suspicion.

"Hey, Sasuke," Itachi responded tiredly.

"Do you want to go upstairs?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah… That'd be nice."

Sasuke felt a little guilty that Itachi had responded so quickly. He wished that Itachi would have just called him. Had he really been waiting on Sasuke all this time? Yet Sasuke realized that apologizing would only make his brother feel like more of a "burden." From experience, Sasuke knew how the psychology of being on that end of things worked.

Sasuke took Itachi's textbook, some pens, and some highlighters up with them, helping Itachi up each step. Going up was always more difficult than going down. They had to pause twice for Itachi to catch his breath.

Eventually, Sasuke got Itachi into his bed. He elevated his head with several pillows so that he'd be able to read comfortably and placed some water by his bedside table. Once Sasuke was sure that Itachi was settled, he returned downstairs and cooked two microwavable dinners, chicken Florentine and Salisbury steak.

Sasuke quickly ate the chicken and brought the steak up to Naruto. Sasuke left the lights on downstairs, believing that they'd return soon. However, Naruto had a few Youtube videos cued that he absolutely  _had_  to show Sasuke. Only two out of the five were very funny, Sasuke insisted, to which Naruto responded that he wasn't surprised considering that he hadn't seen Sasuke using the stress ball Naruto bought him. He still had that stick up his ass, Naruto insisted.

Naruto began to stretch his legs, doing everything he could to refrain from pacing back and forth.

"Antsy?" Sasuke asked.

"Fuuuuck," Naruto responded, ready to roll around on the floor just to dispel some energy. "Cabin fever, dude. Cabin fever like mad."

Sasuke waited for a moment, poking his head out of the bedroom. Itachi's door was closed, and his room was dark. Since Itachi couldn't make it downstairs himself, the only other possibility was that he'd gone to bed. It was getting late. The downstairs was still lit, just as Sasuke had left it.

"It's free downstairs."

Naruto perked up instantly.

"Seriously? I can go downstairs?!"

"Yeah…" Sasuke answered, his voice hushed. "Just be fast. If Itachi wants to go downstairs, I'll make a ruckus to let you know, and you can hide. He wouldn't want to be down for long."

Naruto grinned back at him, finally walking out of the bedroom. Sasuke placed a finger up to his lips, indicating for him to be silent. He beamed and gave Sasuke a quick salute in exchange, quietly walking down the steps. He moved through the living room out into the kitchen, where a young man with long black hair sat, reading a textbook on litigation.

Naruto froze, wondering if Itachi could hear how damned loudly his heart was beating. The man looked up from his work, black irises catching Naruto's bright blue orbs. There was no escape. Naruto could hardly look back.

Itachi set his highlighter back on his book, softly smiling at Naruto.

"Hello. It's nice to finally meet you."


	50. Chapter 50

Naruto stood mutely, ready for Itachi to launch into an interrogation. Itachi's smile seemed so benign, but he knew damned well that behind it was a terrifying intellect. Before him was a man who even Sasuke regarded as a genius.

Hadn't Sasuke told him it would be safe? Didn't Itachi need Sasuke's help to use the stairs? How was this possible? They'd gotten away with this, what, a grand total of two days after Itachi's return? And Itachi had been  _expecting_  him?

"Hi! Uh… I'm one of Sasuke's…f-friends!" Naruto answered, feeling himself sweat as nausea threatened to get the best of him. "From school! I was just spending the night and…"

Itachi raised his hand, sighing.

"Don't bother lying. I know where you're from."

There was a possibility that Itachi was wrong, of course. Naruto knew that he had to monitor his facial expressions and words carefully when speaking with Itachi, which wasn't necessarily Naruto's strongpoint.

"Yup, you caught me," Naruto answered, laughing nervously. "I'm a Martian."

Itachi glanced up at Naruto, who noted the deep bags under the elder Uchiha's eyes. The man looked so tired, but then again, Naruto couldn't compare Itachi to his healthier self. This was the first time he'd gotten a good look at Itachi, other than that one incident in Itachi's bathroom. Could Itachi have seen him? No, he had been unconscious. Itachi smiled lightly at Naruto's rather flustered attempt at humor.

"You met Sasuke at St. Magdalene's. You were usually with Sasuke when I picked him up. Of course, until you vanished one day without explanation."

Naruto’s heart somehow managed to beat even harder. How much did Itachi know? Certainly, this couldn't be the only information he had about Naruto. Did he know how long Naruto had been living there? Perhaps he'd assumed he came from a troubled home and was just periodically camping out here for respite. Maybe Itachi didn't know he'd been homeless. He didn't look angry, at least.

"What I  _don't_  know, however, is your name," Itachi stated. "What  _is_  your name?"

Naruto paused before answering, "It's…Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto."

His introduction lacked its familiar gusto, though Itachi had little reference for this.

"As you've probably been told, my name is Itachi."

Itachi stood now, reaching forward with his right arm for a handshake.

"Nice to meet you, Naruto."

* * *

Naruto trudged up the stairs. Itachi had told Naruto to bring Sasuke downstairs, so he could "discuss the matter in further detail" with him. This sounded more like "interrogate the living shit out of him" to Naruto. Itachi had gone soft on him. He offered Naruto a gentle smile when he said this; Naruto was more worried about Sasuke. Itachi seemed nice enough, but he seemed like the sort who could get incredibly intimidating if put in the proper situation. Sasuke had at least inherited the latter trait from his brother.

He knew he'd open the door to find Sasuke completely oblivious to what had just happened, and he'd have to break the news. To say the least, he wasn't looking forward to it. He tried to forget what this meant for him. He paused in front of Sasuke's room for several seconds, collecting himself. Naruto's sense of foreboding showed in his downcast features. He knocked on Sasuke's door, and Sasuke quietly opened it.

"What are you thinking, dumbass? Don't  _knock_."

"It doesn't matter anymore," Naruto had been tempted to say. He didn't. Naruto frowned back at Sasuke silently before sitting on the bed, quietly. Still standing, Sasuke watched his lover, thoroughly disturbed by his change in demeanor.

"Naruto… Are you…"

"He knows," Naruto said quietly but distinctly.

Sasuke's jaw dropped in awe as he stared back at Naruto, rendered speechless. Naruto's discovery was a long time coming, but it still took the air out of Sasuke's lungs.

"He's  _known_ ," Naruto added, beginning to sound panicked. "He was at the kitchen table after I walked downstairs. When he spotted me, he just said, 'It's nice to finally meet you.'"

Despite everything, Sasuke still felt the urge to scold Itachi for using the stairs without him. What if he'd fallen? What if it had ripped his incision site or caused internal bleeding? Had he also been planning on going up the stairs alone?

Yet Sasuke realized he was in no place to scold Itachi, given what he'd just been caught doing. Sasuke swallowed, taking the information in stride. He realized that he needed to think clearly now.

"What else does Itachi know?"

"He knows we met at St. Magdalene's. He said that he remembered me being with you when he'd pick you up every week, then suddenly I was gone."

"Shit…" Sasuke sighed, rubbing his temple.

So much for feeling clever. Had Itachi really known all along? Naruto's sudden absences could have easily been explained by Naruto changing towns or moving in with a family. Itachi had to have more information than that. But how much more?

"Did he say anything else?"

"Only that he wants to ask you some questions."

Sasuke nodded. His mind was flashing back to Itachi's reaction when he discovered that Sasuke had been shoplifting. He sincerely hoped that tonight would not be a repeat of that incident.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke…" Naruto told him, staring into his lap and crossing his arms tightly around his body. He raised his knees up to his chest. He was drawing into himself, protecting himself. Sasuke knew Naruto well enough to realize that he was on the brink of a full-fledged panic attack.

"Me too," Sasuke answered, sitting beside Naruto. He wrapped his arms around Naruto, hugging him. Naruto hid himself inside of Sasuke, seemingly wishing to disappear into his lover.

"You're going to be okay, Naruto," Sasuke told him, petting his back. "You don't have to face this alone."

"Yeah, I know, I know," Naruto answered, wiping at his eyes. When he tried to smile, his lips quivered. "Go down and talk to your brother. I'll be fine."

Sasuke paused. He didn’t want to leave Naruto, but he knew that Itachi was waiting for him.

"If you need me, call out for me. I'll come immediately."

And he would. No matter what he and his brother were talking about, or what was happening, if Naruto called out for Sasuke, he would be there. He hated to leave Naruto alone at such a time, but there was a difficult conversation to be had.

"Okay," Naruto replied. "Good luck…"

"Thanks."

Sasuke's emotions descending the stairs were rather similar to Naruto's as he had just previously ascended. He didn't want to go where his feet were carrying him. He just wanted to stay upstairs with Naruto and pretend that he hadn't heard what Naruto had just told him.

But there was no pretending. He had to face reality.

He entered the kitchen to find his brother just as Naruto had described him. Sasuke sat across from his brother, both of them silent for several seconds. It was Sasuke who broke the silence.

"Itachi, I'm sorry for not telling you the truth."

Sasuke realized that this was one of the factors that his admission of guilt had lacked when they'd fought over his shoplifting habit. He would accept responsibility for his actions this time.

"If you were to do it all over, would you choose to deceive me again?" Itachi asked, a melancholic smile on his face.

Sasuke glanced at the table, exhaling silently. Would he lie?

"Yes. I did it to protect him."

Itachi frowned, and Sasuke didn't know whether Itachi was satisfied with his response or not. It did indicate a certain degree of honesty…in a sense. It was one thing to admit to a lie but another thing entirely to admit that he wouldn't take it back if given the option.

"He must mean a great deal to you."

Sasuke nodded. Just like the last time he was in this situation, he still had trouble looking up from the table.

"He does."

Itachi sighed, getting up and walking towards the fridge.

"I'll get it," Sasuke offered. "What did you need?"

"Some orange juice, please," Itachi answered, sounding awfully formal.

Itachi's tone made him uncomfortable. Sasuke poured them both a glass. This seemed like a conversation that might take a while.

"I want you to tell me everything relevant about Naruto."

Immediately, Sasuke understood his brother's tactic. Itachi definitely had more information on Naruto, but the extent of this information was a mystery. It would thus make Sasuke less likely to lie or withhold any important truths, given that Itachi might or might not be aware of them already. Itachi would know Sasuke was still holding back. It was clever, and Sasuke most certainly wasn't in a position to ask Itachi any questions.

So he decided to be honest and tell his brother everything that he'd wish to know about Naruto.

"I met Naruto at St. Magdalene's. I ran into him again when I was doing trash duty at the park. It's where he used to live."

Itachi nodded. If he had wondered about Naruto being homeless, that would have answered his question, but Itachi didn't look particularly surprised.

"He'd help me clean up at the kitchen and the park. The cops gave him some hassle at the park, so he had to move to a rough part of town. He… He was attacked and very badly injured there. He skipped the kitchen that week because he was hurt. I searched for him and found him that Friday. When I found him and was told what happened, I took him to our house and hid him."

"When was this?"

"Late October."

"Has he been living here sporadically?"

The questions were rapid fire, and they came the moment Sasuke stopped speaking. Itachi hardly needed time to think on them, it seemed. This would likely be his tactic in the courtroom once he finally got his law degree. Sasuke was answering just as briskly, but he knew that if he stumbled, it would be obvious that he was lying.

"No… Continuously."

Sasuke wondered which of these questions Itachi already knew the answers to, as his face revealed no hints as to what his current thoughts were, but his brother continued nonetheless.

"Does anyone besides us know of his whereabouts?"

"To my best knowledge, no."

"Rather than stowing him here, why didn't you turn him over to authorities?"

Sasuke sighed.

"I wanted to, but… He wouldn't go."

"Why not?" Itachi asked guardedly. Sasuke realized how suspicious that had sounded. Naruto could have been a criminal. Sasuke bit his lip, wondering if he should reveal such a personal aspect of Naruto's past.

"You know those scars on his face?" Sasuke said quietly, as if someone might overhear.

Itachi nodded. He didn't want to share this with Itachi, really, but he wanted him to understand that the two of them really did have a good reason for not going to authorities. He wanted him to understand why they were in such a bind, where Sasuke's only solution at the time was either to leave Naruto on the streets critically injured or seek shelter at the Uchiha residence.

"His foster father did that to him. That's why he's homeless. He ran away that day and wouldn't go back. He's been unable to trust people or the foster care system since."

"I see…" Itachi answered, frowning deeply and resting his head on his palm. He seemed affected by the information. Itachi was silent for a while longer.

"So, to sum it up, Naruto turned to the streets to escape an abusive home situation. There was nowhere he would go other than the streets, which proved dangerous for him. So you then hid Naruto here around late October to protect him, and he's been living in your bedroom ever since."

"That's correct."

It sounded pretty damned crazy, quite possibly because it  _was_  pretty damned crazy. When it was phrased that way, even Sasuke had trouble believing such a thing would happen in their household. Itachi nodded.

"That lines up."

Sasuke tried not to show his relief.

"I'm sorry for being so distrustful, Sasuke, but you did admit yourself that you would have lied in the same situation. I knew you had a significant but understandable motivation to lie."

Sasuke wondered if he'd hurt Itachi with his response. Yet at least now, he had decided to be truthful.

"Don't think you said the wrong thing," Itachi added, reading Sasuke's body language. "I would have been even more suspicious of you if you'd have told me you would've been honest. I can read you better than that."

Sasuke was still silent, a slightly morose air about him.

"I thank you for at least being honest with me tonight, Sasuke."

"It's the least I could do after deceiving you for so long," Sasuke muttered.

And there were still more secrets, which he only prayed Itachi didn't know about. The drugs, the robbery, Juugo's whereabouts… But now would be a poor time to discuss such affairs.

"You do realize that you could have gotten us in legal trouble, Sasuke? We're stowing a missing minor. Since he fled his foster family, people might even be looking for him."

Sasuke nodded mildly.

"A mitigated risk. I think that given the reason he went missing and the rather prominent evidence of said event on his face, it would be obvious and credible why he ran away and took such efforts to conceal himself."

It was cold. The heat was on low. It kept him from getting too comfortable, though it wasn't as if their current conversation would allow for this anyway. Sasuke crossed his arms to keep warm.

"You're right that Naruto's scars would grant his story credibility, but it was still a risk. You and I both know that the law isn't always so understanding."

Itachi sighed, taking another sip of orange juice.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Sasuke unconsciously bit his lip before speaking.

"I… I honestly thought you'd find him in a few days and just kick him out anyway. I didn't expect it to last this long. I wanted to keep him safe as long as I possibly could. I know it was risky, and I'm sorry for inflicting that risk upon you without your consent. Just…finding him out there, so injured, I…"

Sasuke lifted his eyes from the table as he spoke, now conveying himself with conviction. Sasuke wasn't just thinking of himself anymore.

"I had to do whatever was in my power to protect him."

He looked his older brother directly in the eyes, his voice having ascended from mumbled apologies to determined emotion. It contrasted so acutely with their last quarrel. Itachi watched Sasuke with curiosity, surprise, and even a little awe, pausing a moment to take his younger brother in. Was this the same boy who had scorned anyone who tried to reach out to him, who worked and toiled only for himself or, at best, Itachi?

Sasuke was only fifteen, and yet he was sitting before Itachi with his shoulders squared, his eyes determined and aura certain. In that moment, whatever doubts or misgivings the youngest Uchiha felt were erased from the world.

"You've changed even more than I'd imagined," Itachi commented with a smile.

Sasuke shrugged. That's what people had been telling him, anyway. He'd heard it from Naruto, Juugo, Itachi, Karin, Suigetsu, Sakura, and even his principal. It didn't seem so obvious to him, however.

"Why does he mean so much to you? Why would you go so far out of your way for him?"

After their parents' death, Sasuke wouldn't go out of his way for anyone other than himself and Itachi. Yet Naruto had been an exception. Why?

"Because…" Sasuke paused. How could he explain this to Itachi? How could he ever put it into words?

"You love him?" Itachi offered.

Sasuke gaped back at him in surprise, feeling that Itachi had just told him something about himself that even Sasuke hadn't known. Did that mean that Itachi knew about their relationship? Or did he mean a love like the one he shared with Itachi?

"Forgive me," Itachi inserted, shaking his head. "It's not my place to pry."

Sasuke wasn't sure how long the following silence lasted. He couldn't bear it like he did typical silences, so he broke it.

"Did you know from the very beginning?" Sasuke asked.

Itachi smiled.

"Perhaps not from the  _very_  beginning. I can't pinpoint the actual day you took him in. My educated guess is that it took me about three or four days to discover the truth."

Sasuke pouted, causing Itachi to chuckle slightly.

"You didn't actually think you were going to pull that over on me, did you? It's tough  _not_  to notice when your brother develops a sudden taste for Skittles and eats nearly twice as much. Clothes he never wears are getting washed, and for some reason, and you see a foreign sleeping bag outside in your neighbor's trash bin several hours before the truck picks it up. That's no stray dog. It never took you so long to answer your door, either. And I'm just listing the highlights here."

He should've known his brother would be too clever for that. He'd tried. He kept all the suspicious wrappers and boxes in his room until the day before the dumpster came, when he'd put them in the big blue bin outside the house. He usually did Naruto's wash separately. He'd tried to cover his tracks, but it seemed that Itachi had been just as observant as always.

"That, paired with Naruto's sudden disappearance at St. Magdalene's, connected the dots for me."

Now that Sasuke had finished supplying information, he could finally ask the question that had been preoccupying him from the instant Naruto told him their ruse was finished.

"So… If you knew all this time, why didn't you say anything?"

Itachi took another swallow of orange juice, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. He paused for several seconds before he answered Sasuke.

"I noticed you changing from the day you met that kid. You needed it. I saw you livening up in ways I hadn't seen in the past year, shaping up. I hadn't been there for you. I never had time for you. You were alone, and… Honestly, I'd never seen you so sad in my life."

Itachi frowned, now looking a little sheepish himself.

"It was irresponsible, but… I just turned a blind eye, because I couldn't deal with watching you suffer. If I couldn't be there, then at least he could."

It had been for Sasuke… Of course it had. What other motive would Itachi have? He'd taken quite a risk for Sasuke.

"Thank you," Sasuke answered. "I don't think you even realize how many times he's talked me out of stupid ideas and kept me on the right track. He even worked at this labor center near downtown, to help me pay off your medical bills. I have the cash up in my room."

"He sounds like a great man, Sasuke."

"Well, he did find Ferret," Sasuke deflected, his true thoughts rather apparent. He agreed with Itachi, but he'd only state this indirectly.

"Naruto did?" Itachi asked, shocked. "How?"

"The labor center had him working at the animal shelter for the day. He recognized Ferret from my descriptions of her."

Sasuke felt self-conscious at the moment for letting Itachi know that Naruto even knew something as trivial as their old pet's appearance, just by coincidence. His brother was astute. Sasuke was sure he'd piece together how much Sasuke had told Naruto about his life, and thus how close they'd been. Then again, given the lengths Sasuke had gone to for Naruto's safety, this shouldn't come as a surprise.

"Sasuke…" Itachi sighed, frowning again. "This wasn't supposed to last this long. But then after I got fired and told you I had cancer, I figured it would be horrible timing to send off your primary support."

And, unfortunately, Naruto was his primary support. Itachi was hardly ever present, and he realized it. He seemed to be perpetually unavailable.

"I was going to give you a little time to recover but then… Then that stomach bug. I had no idea I'd be stuck in the hospital so long, and there wasn't much I could do about the situation while I was stuck there. And then you really were all alone. I…didn't have the heart to do the responsible thing, and for that, I'm sorry."

It was true that Itachi was basically powerless while he was in the hospital. He was drugged most of the time anyway, until the very end. They had him on so much morphine. Still, he didn't understand what Itachi would be apologizing for. He allowed Naruto to stay in their home for  _two months_.

"I don't see what you're apologizing for, but apology accepted."

"I'm apologizing for what I'm about to say. Sasuke, we have to let him go. We can't keep him here. I'm sorry I allowed you to get so used to having him here. Events just transpired so unpredictably…"

Sasuke felt a little nauseous. He tried not to show his disappointment at Itachi's statement. He'd believed from the start that Itachi would send him away, but he'd always harbored hope that Itachi would adopt Naruto, and they'd continue as a big, happy (if not somewhat incestuous) family.

"I knew you were going to find him. I knew he'd have to leave."

"Are you angry?"

"I have no right to be."

"But  _are_  you?"

"Yes," Sasuke admitted. "But not at you. Are you angry with me?"

"Sasuke, I got over that months ago."

Sasuke couldn't help but snicker at Itachi's tone despite himself. Of course, it was old news to his brother. Itachi knew. He seemed to know everything sometimes. If anything, it made Sasuke look up to him even more. And as far as Itachi turning a blind eye…

It was true that sending Naruto away now would hurt much more than it would have if they'd sent him away only a few days after he'd arrived. Yet to Sasuke, the pain was worth it. He told himself that no matter what happened, he wouldn't regret his decision. He was glad his brother had feigned ignorance.

"I am…sympathetic to Naruto's situation. If we weren't already on such thin ice, my decision might have been different. There's no way we could adopt him; it was hard enough for me to hold on to you. Furthermore, even going to court might put my custody of  _you_  in danger. Child Protective Services hasn't seemed to notice that I'm sick and have no income, but if they're made aware that I left you alone for a month while I was in the hospital, they can reopen our case. Even barring involvement from Naruto, they're likely to figure it out. I'd imagine we're up for a review any time now."

Sasuke sighed, relaxing now in his chair. So now even Sasuke was in danger? Yet it would probably be fine, as Itachi was on the mend and Sasuke was going to be sixteen in just seven months. Sasuke was practically old enough to live on his own, if the law would allow it.

"So, what are we going to do now?"

"I'm going to give the two of you one week from today, after which, we'll take Naruto to the authorities."

One week. Seven days. It seemed so miniscule.

"And dump him off," Sasuke stated grimly.

Sasuke was at least glad that Itachi wasn't insisting on sending him off tomorrow. Still, in one week, Naruto would be out of his house. Where would Naruto be sent to? When would Sasuke see him next?

"No. I feel that I owe Naruto a debt for everything he's done, and as I said, I'm sympathetic to his situation. You are going to drop him off at the police's station. You'll state that you're a friend and that you both met at the soup kitchen. I won't go in with you, as it might arouse suspicion. You encouraged Naruto to seek shelter, though you never offered it yourself, and brought him here. You'll ask to be kept abreast on his case. I have the appropriate knowledge and enough connections to sift through the legal system and ensure that he gets to a proper home, where he'll never get treated like that again."

"Thank you," Sasuke answered, genuinely appreciative but still unable to keep the gloom out of his voice. Itachi sensed it all too well, frowning back at Sasuke. Itachi couldn't help but feel somewhat responsible for Sasuke's sadness.

"I know this must be hard on you."

"It's expected," Sasuke shrugged.

"I think you should bring Naruto down here now. He has just as much of a right to hear this as you and I have."

"Okay, I'll get him."

Sasuke walked up the stairs, walking into his bedroom to find Naruto on his bed in the dark. Naruto shot up quickly when Sasuke turned the lights on, quickly wiping tears off of his face. His eyes were swollen and red, yet Naruto still seemed to think he could fool Sasuke.

"Welcome back," Naruto told Sasuke with a toothy grin. "How'd it go?"

"Pretty much like we expected."

"So… I can't stay?" Naruto asked in a small voice, his forced smile beginning to fade.

The way Naruto asked the question made it almost too painful for Sasuke to answer.

"No," Sasuke admitted. He wanted Naruto to hear this in privacy. "But my brother says he wants to shadow your case and make sure we get you somewhere good."

"Oh…" Naruto answered, appearing, momentarily, devastated. Sure, they'd both known the likeliest situation. They'd confirmed it amongst themselves even. But they'd both secretly hoped for the happier ending, as unrealistic as it seemed. Tonight, that hope had been destroyed.

"We're going to keep you safe," Sasuke told him, reaching out for Naruto’s hand.

"Of course. I probably won't even need it!" Naruto beamed, moving his hand away before Sasuke’s could connect.

Naruto's change in tone seemed entirely forced. Naruto tended to do that a lot for his sake, and it always made him feel a little guilty.

“Naruto…” Sasuke trailed off, knowing that Naruto could read him.

“Now’s not the time,” Naruto told Sasuke, averting his eyes and sounding so tired all of the sudden. “I’ll deal with this later.”

Sasuke paused for a few seconds more, regarding Naruto cautiously before he responded.

"C'mon. Itachi still wants to speak about this together."

Naruto accompanied Sasuke downstairs, both of them sitting before Itachi. Itachi waited for a moment until both Sasuke and Naruto were comfortable, looking at Sasuke and then, finally, at Naruto.

"Naruto, Sasuke told me about your situation. Sasuke has possibly already told you this himself, but I can't offer you shelter here any longer. I wish I could, sincerely, especially after all you've done for my brother and even finding Ferret and all... But it's just too risky to…"

With a bright grin on his face, Naruto swatted at Itachi dismissively.

"Please, you don't have to explain yourself! I'm just thankful you let me stay here at all, even knowin' we were being little sneaks. I owe you big time."

Itachi smiled, and Sasuke could see clearly that Itachi had a soft spot for Naruto. Naruto was told that he was getting sent back to the system that put those scars on his cheeks, yet he took it with a smile on his face? Itachi respected that, perhaps even more so because he noted signs that Naruto had been crying. Naruto was trying to be strong for his younger brother. Besides, anyone who Sasuke liked so much had to be damned worth their mettle. He trusted his brother's judgment.

"I'm giving you both a week to stay here and adjust. And Naruto, when we take you in, we're not going to just ditch you. I will personally oversee your case and make sure you're treated well. Sasuke and I are both on your side. You are not going to slip through the cracks. I am indebted to you personally."

"Phew!" Naruto answered, swatting at his forehead. "It's good to know I got an army of geniuses on my side here. I sit in those court rooms, and I have  _no_  idea what the hell they're talkin' about!"

"I can certainly be of aid in that regard," Itachi stated.

Naruto chuckled, taking a seat by Sasuke and Itachi.

"So, Naruto, do you have any questions for me?" Itachi inquired.

Naruto sat, holding his head in his hand and squinting his eyes. His life had changed drastically tonight. He was given so much new information that he didn't even know where to start when it came to digesting the emotional impact of it. That he would attend to another day.

"Yeah. I do have a question."

"Shoot."

Naruto's chin rested on his two interlocked hands as he stared at Sasuke's and Itachi's partially filled glasses.

"Can I have some orange juice?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a couple days late. This past weekend was a crazy one for me. Ended up in the urgent care, but all is well.
> 
> I'm totally thrilled by all the comments/kudos everyone left me on the last chapter! It made my week. I am not one to write chapters of bleak angst with no ray of hope, but I can be pure evil when it comes to cliffhangers. The worst has yet to come.


	51. Chapter 51

The next morning, Naruto woke up before Sasuke, whose arm draped over Naruto’s waist. It was December 31st, the morning preceding New Years' eve. Naruto lay in bed for a few minutes, allowing his eyes to adjust to the light and wiping the sleep out of his eyes. The green glow of Sasuke's clock informed him that it was just past eight.

As gracefully as was possible for him, he gently lifted Sasuke's arm from his stomach and placed it by Sasuke's side. Sasuke was breathing deeply; he didn't snore. He looked like he was still in a deep sleep. It wasn't much of a surprise. Ever since Sasuke's suspension, he'd been catching up on all the sleep he'd missed in the past couple months.

Naruto tip toed out of the bedroom and made his way to the stairway. Sure enough, Itachi, wearing dark grey sweat pants and a maroon T-shirt, was already three steps down the stairs. Naruto jumped, emitting a choked scream as he noticed Itachi, the long-haired Uchiha looking rather guilty himself for whatever reason.

"Are you okay, Naruto?" Itachi asked, tilting his head. Ferret was slinking between Itachi's legs, peering back at Naruto in concern and confusion.

"Yeah, it's just… I'm honestly used to ninjaing around you for the last two months, so alarms are going off in my head when you're nearby. It feels kinda weird to wake up and just be like, 'Oh, hello person I've been hiding from for two months! Good morning!'"

Itachi glanced back at Naruto, giving him a strange look before shaking his head with a smile. Social etiquette apparently wasn't Naruto's forte, and his so-called "ninja"ing left something to be desired. Though to be fair, it did say something that Itachi never actually spotted Naruto in his house before yesterday, even after all this time.

"Good morning, then, person who's been hiding from me for two months."

Naruto chuckled, scratching the back of his head. So, Itachi could take a joke.

"It's kinda cool I don't have to sneak around anymore though. And plus you seem like a really cool guy, from all Sasuke's told me about you."

"Only good things, I hope."

Naruto peered both ways before approaching the stairs.

"Dude… I'm pretty sure he'd murder me for tellin' ya this, but he  _idolizes_  you. He looks up to you like crazy!"

Itachi looked away temporarily, appearing to analyze the opposite wall. This was a mannerism he'd apparently passed down to Sasuke, who frequently did the same when flustered.

"There are better role models one might choose…"

"I dunno, you're pretty rockin' from what I've heard, but…holy shit, you could get in  _so_  much trouble!"

Naruto appeared as if he'd finally taken in Itachi's location, part way down the stairs.

"Sshhh," Itachi hushed Naruto urgently.

"Sasuke goes fucking ballistic about those stairs! You have no idea!"

"Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure I do."

Yesterday night, by using the stairs, Itachi had successfully encountered the homeless boy covertly occupying his house in his brother's room for two months, and then he shared with his brother that he had known this all along. Sasuke didn't say anything about the fact that Itachi had used the stairs unattended. Itachi assessed that this was around what it would take for him to sneak a stair trip without Sasuke bitching at him for it, and he didn't see something of that gravity reoccurring any time soon.

"You really shouldn't, you know."

"I'm fine with the stairs," Itachi rebuffed. "Sasuke worries about me too much."

"He said your doctor doesn't want you to go alone either."

"It's a legal issue. They just don't want to get sued on the off chance I fall."

"Tsk, tsk, good sir," Naruto replied, crossing his arms and shaking his head with mock pomp. "Tsk, tsk."

"Please don't tell Sasuke," the man answered with a prolonged sigh. "I'd rather avoid his nagging this morning."

Naruto grinned. This sounded like quite the role reversal to him. Ever since Itachi had become sick, Sasuke was finding himself in the caretaker role.

"Alright, but you really shouldn't do that. Cuz no offense, but I think I'm gonna side with the medical professionals on this one."

Itachi bit his tongue, frustrated that he hadn't managed to recruit Naruto onto his side. Great. Now he'd have  _two_  brats to dodge, though he recognized that Naruto was only acting out of concern.

"Alright."

"And I gotta help you down now too."

Naruto quickly moved up to Itachi, glancing at him on the now uncomfortably narrow stairway.

"So, uh… How do I do this?"

"Walk a few steps in front of me and catch me if I fall. But basically just watch me."

Naruto grinned, making his way around Itachi and Ferret.

"Easy as pie."

Itachi took one steady step after the next, still a little slow. It didn't help that Ferret kept trying to run between Itachi's legs almost every time his legs separated. At one point, Naruto offered Itachi his hand, which Itachi gladly took.

"So like… They cut you open pretty bad, huh?"

Naruto's typical diplomacy had gone into play.

"I wouldn’t say that."

"Did you get a scar?"

"Mhm."

"Sweet," Naruto grinned. He looked left, then right, as if there was anyone other than Sasuke in the house. "Can I see?"

"Later, maybe," Itachi answered, quite tolerant of Naruto's questioning. This seemed to be another difference between Sasuke and his older brother. "It's gauzed up right now."

Now Itachi was taking Naruto's arm occasionally, aiding his descent. Naruto was also of the belief that Itachi really should not be handling these stairs himself, but stubbornness appeared to be a family trait.

"You can see one of mine. Check this baby out."

Naruto stopped on the stairway to lift up his shirt to show the deep and long gash on his upper back, Itachi pulling his head back in mild surprise.

"How'd you manage that one?"

Itachi figured it was safe to ask, considering how eager Naruto was to show it off.

"I was ten, I had my skateboard, and I was at the tallest slide in the county. Use your imagination."

"Brilliant," Itachi deadpanned.

"Thirty-seven stitches. I shit you not."

Itachi wondered for a moment why someone wasn't watching Naruto, but he knew it would be a bad idea to ask.

"You're making me feel insecure, Naruto," Itachi told Naruto with a teasing smile.

Itachi had finally reached the bottom of the stairs, and they both walked towards the kitchen. Itachi didn't need his help anymore.

"No way, bro. You earned your stripe, like a tiger or some shit. I was just some kid with a skateboard and a  _really_  stupid idea."

Itachi moved over to the refrigerator to pour himself a glass of apple juice. He was craving some coffee; his medication had made him groggy. But he knew that his stomach would wreak vengeance upon him very shortly if he succumbed to temptation.

Ferret was meowing loudly, causing Naruto to ready some moist cat food Sasuke had bought for her. For just a second, Ferret finally stopped following Itachi. Before Itachi came home, Naruto had thought that the way Ferret clung to Sasuke was ridiculous, but Naruto wondered if Itachi was even capable of shaking Ferret if the cat wasn't eating or sleeping.

"Ah, but the scars with the  _fun_  stories to tell are the not so glaringly obvious ones of course," Naruto smiled wistfully. Itachi believed that he was mostly likely thinking of his face.

"Don't fret about it too much," Itachi answered steadily. "It grants you an air of mystery."

"Mystery, huh? Why'd I want that?"

"Because mystery interests people. You strike me as the type who takes pride in being interesting."

"How come?" Naruto asked, pouring himself a glass of orange juice.

"Call it an educated guess."

Naruto scrunched his nose and looked at Itachi skeptically, his head tilted. He wanted to press Itachi but decided against it.

"Thanks, I guess?" Naruto laughed, glancing at the contents of the refrigerator. He took out a cartoon of eggs. "Hey, I can make some eggs for ya. How do you like them?"

Naruto had actually gotten decent making scrambled eggs, since Sasuke had been around. Their conversation on the stairway must've awoken him, Sasuke's steps announcing themselves as he moved down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Hard-boiled."

"Well, that's a shame, cuz all I know how to do is scrambled."

"Why'd you even bother to ask him then, idiot?" Sasuke asked, crossing his arms.

"Good morning, Sasuke," Itachi said.

"Because what if he'd said scrambled? I could've known how to make all the eggy things in the world for all he'd have known!"

"How about you just offer the man scrambled eggs, or better yet let me make him hard-boiled?"

Sasuke was too busy bickering with Naruto to respond to his brother's greeting. Even knowing how important Naruto was to him, Itachi wasn't surprised that Sasuke shared that sort of dynamic with him. It seemed just like his brother. Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Sasuke, why is your older brother so much nicer than you? Did you get the asshole gene or something?"

Itachi chuckled, after which Sasuke sent his brother a quick glare.

"My brother hasn't had to deal with your dumb ass since summer. His patience hasn't been depleted like mine has."

Naruto got out a pan and sprayed it with Pam, turning on the heat.

"Oh bullshit, Sasuke. You've been an asshole from day one."

Naruto cracked an egg over the black Teflon.

"Make me some eggs," Sasuke requested dully.

"And how many eggs would thou deign to consume, thy royal highness?"

"Two's fine."

Naruto cracked six more eggs. He figured that any extra could be saved as leftovers. Soon enough, the three of them were eating at the table. Naruto's eggs had become increasingly fluffy and of a better consistency; he appeared to be mastering the art.

"These are some good eggs, Naruto," Itachi complimented.

Naruto grinned.

"Not overcooked?"

"No, they're just fine."

Sasuke quietly ate his food. The sight of Itachi and Naruto interacting was strange, given what lengths he'd gone to in order to prevent the two from meeting. And here they were, eating breakfast together in their pajamas as if it were any other day. The situation seemed both unfamiliar and strangely natural all at once.

"So, you guys got any New Years' resolutions?" Naruto asked.

"Hmm…" Itachi thought for a moment. "I'd like to get straight A's this year and find a new job. That, and I want to be able to run eight miles in an hour again. What about you two?"

Ferret, long finished with her meal, leapt up on Itachi's lap and curled into a ball. Itachi absentmindedly pet her, scratching softly behind her ears.

"Me?" Naruto asked. "Well, I'd love to get into a decent home and start up school, get good marks. It's gonna be tough, because I'm so far behind, but if I could make it into sophomore year by September, I'd be really happy."

The younger Uchiha was still quietly eating.

"What about you, dickboat?" Naruto asked. "You're being awfully quiet this morning. Even for you it's a little creepy."

Sasuke was groggy and a little conflicted about their current conversation. Itachi and Naruto were carrying along just fine without his input. He was glad they were getting along so well.

He also believed that New Years' resolutions were bullshit. Couldn't you make a resolution any time of year? Why did it have to be this rather arbitrary day based on some meaningless astronomical event? Whatever the case, he'd go along with it.

"I want to keep my GPA up and join the basketball team next year. I also intend to run for student body president again."

He'd been considering this for the past month or so, but this was the first time he'd voiced these ambitions to anyone. Sasuke knew that running for president this time around might be difficult, as he now had a reputation as a troublemaker to overcome. True, he was popular and well-liked, but was that enough to get him elected into a position that required such responsibility? Nonetheless, he'd proved to be quite the competent president in the past.

"Heh!" Naruto answered. "How is it that all of our goals have to do with school? We're a bunch of nerds."

Still, he felt like a bit of a lame horse compared to the two brothers. He would be a year behind Sasuke if he was lucky, and he was almost a year older than him. Not to mention that both of the Uchiha brothers were geniuses. No matter. He'd catch up.

"The basketball team?" Itachi asked, smiling. This had been one of Sasuke's hobbies in the past, though their father had sometimes tried to discourage him. Sasuke had been a skilled player, and he'd always enjoyed the game. "I'm glad to see you get into that again."

They'd need Sasuke after losing Suigetsu; that much was certain. It had been two years since he'd been on the team, so he was bound to be rusty. Anyhow, that was what summer was for. He needed something to keep him busy anyway. Sasuke merely nodded.

"Just don't push yourself too hard. I know you've done this all in the past, but it might be difficult to readjust to."

He could read into his brother's words, which would have probably been the same had Naruto been present or not. He was wondering if Sasuke was emotionally ready to take on the same level of responsibility he had adopted before their parents' death.

"It won't be a problem. I know what I'm getting myself into."

Itachi nodded, saying nothing more on the matter. They finished their meals quickly, Naruto offering to do the dishes himself. Itachi wouldn't allow this, however, stating that it was good exercise for him. After all, how could he run eight miles next year if he couldn't even wash the dishes? Naruto and Sasuke were both equally inefficient at talking him out of it.

"Sasuke, would you be able to change my wicks after I clean up?"

"Sure," Sasuke answered.

"Change the whats?"

"My wicks," Itachi answered. "They had to staple my surgery site together, and they put gauze pieces between each staple so…"

"Like…gauze… _inside_  your body?" Naruto asked incredulously.

"Exactly."

"And  _Sasuke_  changes them? Not a nurse or somethin'?"

"A nurse trained me," Sasuke told Naruto.

"That's…" Naruto's reaction was temporarily stunted, his expression lagging several minutes before it was dominated by enthusiasm. "So awesome! Can I see?"

"No," Sasuke answered curtly. However, his response was thwarted, as Itachi spoke directly over him, "I don't see why not."

Sasuke groaned and rolled his eyes, wishing Itachi would stop being so damned agreeable.

"Sweet!"

Before venturing into Itachi's bedroom, Sasuke scrubbed his hands judiciously. Itachi lay on his back, his head rested neatly on the pillow as Naruto sat at the foot of the bed, kicking his legs leisurely. Sasuke had to apologetically lock Ferret out of the room so she would not interfere. Cat hair somehow didn't seem very conducive to the healing process.

"You're not squeamish, are you?" Itachi asked.

Ferret whined loudly from behind the door, her disappointment at being parted from her owner clearly obvious.

"Hah!" Naruto chuckled. "You're funny."

Sasuke strapped on the gloves again, readying his supplies on the bed stand. He sat next to Itachi, who pulled up his shirt and inched down his loose sweatpants to reveal the full extent of the gauze. Naruto tried not to make his curiosity too obvious as Sasuke gently removed the gauze, finally revealing the wound. Naruto's lack of impulse control, however, quickly rendered his endeavors futile.

"Woooah!"

Itachi arched his brow, but Sasuke, who had honestly been expecting a reaction like this, merely rolled his eyes.

"Badass!"

"Thank you, Naruto," Itachi responded, halfway sincere. "I'm flattered."

"I mean… Maybe not the  _greatest_ ," Naruto qualified, flipping his right hand over to gesture. "I mean, no offense, but mine are better. But it's still pretty wicked."

Naruto glanced over at Sasuke, eyes narrowing as he smiled at him mischievously.

"Dude, Sasuke, you must be  _so_  jealous of us."

Ferret continued interrupting conversation with her pitiful meows from behind the door. She was certainly persistent.

"I have no need for more scars," Sasuke responded evenly. "I'm starting now, Itachi."

Sasuke removed Itachi's first wick, and then another. Naruto inconspicuously glanced at Itachi's face out of concern, but he seemed to be taking it well. Itachi's breathing hadn't even changed. It certainly looked painful, though Sasuke was probably making this as easy on his brother as possible. Naruto could hardly believe that Sasuke was doing something like this.

"Hmmm…" Naruto trailed, resting his chin on one of his hands while watching Sasuke's deft movements. "Yeah, you do have some, but none as cool as ours. I mean yours are more like you fell off your bike, or got grazed by a kni-"

Sasuke flashed a foreboding glare at Naruto, silently ordering him to hold his tongue. His readiness to get into fights over the past year, some of which were indeed dangerous, had landed him a few quick trips into the ER for stitches and other such remedies.

Some of the wounds were…perhaps a little worse than Itachi had been made aware of. And of course, Sasuke had decided that Itachi didn't need to know of every single time someone had pulled a knife on him. He didn't want to bring up the past right now or make Itachi worry over him. Naruto quickly rerouted himself.

"But Itachi and I have like…DEATH WOUNDS. That shit's metal."

Itachi smiled faintly.

"I don't know if I'd refer to this as a death wound."

"You  _did_  nearly die," Sasuke mumbled, now half way through the wicks. Despite Naruto's talkativeness, he was glad Naruto was there to distract his brother.

"Hm… It's borderline. 'Swhy mine are way better," Naruto beamed.

Naruto, now closely observing Sasuke's actions, went silent. The wicks were all out now, and it was time for insertion. Sasuke took one wick after the next and confidently and quickly inserted it into Itachi's wound. This was his fourth time doing this alone, and he'd gotten exponentially quicker and better with practice. The most Naruto had ever seen of Sasuke's caretaking abilities was the day Naruto moved in with him, when he had treated Naruto's wounds from the assault.

"Dude, Sasuke, look at you. You're like a pro here. You'd make a great doctor already if you didn't have total shit for bedside manner. Oh! You could be a surgeon!"

Sasuke grunted, not allowing Naruto to distract him. He was reaching the last wicks, which were the most painful and required the most concentration.

"Hey…" Naruto asked quietly. "Can I try one?"

"Fuck no," Sasuke shot back.

Itachi sighed, "Language, Sasuke…"

"It's only a profanity if someone hears you," Sasuke answered with a snarky tone, repeating his brother's logic from a couple weeks prior.

"Yeah, and there is a someone," Itachi answered, gesturing over to Naruto.

Sasuke crinkled up his nose in distaste.

"Have you even been listening to half the words from this kid's mouth?"

He had finished replacing the wicks, now placing another patch of gauze over Itachi's wound and affixing it with medical tape.

"Kid?!" Naruto shouted back. "I'm one year older than you! You don't get to call me a kid!"

"I'll stop calling you a kid when you stop acting like one."

Naruto laughed at Sasuke.

"That's a riot, coming from someone who's not even old enough to get a driver's license."

Sasuke seemed to visibly bristle at Naruto's comment.

"You wouldn't know the difference between a gear shift and a parking brake if your life depended on it."

Itachi chuckled quietly at their bickering.

"You're  _both_  kids," he added, very slowly sitting up. Sasuke offered him a hand. "Enjoy it while it lasts."

"Easy for you to say," Naruto grumbled, crossing his arms.

What Naruto wouldn't have given to be eighteen at this moment... It would have made everything so much easier. Itachi appeared a bit guilty, temporarily, for his oversight. He realized what a bind Naruto's current age was putting him in currently.

Even Sasuke, though not to Itachi's knowledge, had recently been burdened by his age. Both Sasuke and Naruto had been forced to age beyond their years in their own ways. Then again, so had Itachi. There was voluntarily "helping out," and then there were actual obligations. Itachi had far more than his share of "adult" responsibilities.

"But, I guess you're right," Naruto conceded, noticing that Itachi's mood seemed to have shifted. "Never made a single mortgage payment in my life, if ya can believe that."

Naruto's mention of the mortgage payment reminded Sasuke of the cash he had stowed away in his desk. He had about four thousand dollars stuffed away currently, but he'd only give Itachi two currently. Between Naruto's work at the labor center, Sasuke's odd jobs, and Sasuke's supposed work at St. Magdalene's, it was plausible to raise that much during the time Itachi was sick. The rest he'd have to edge in steadily so as not to raise suspicion.

"Itachi, I haven't given you the money Naruto and I earned."

"Sasuke, that's…not really necessary. You both earned that money, so you should get to…"

When they opened the door, Ferret bounded up to Itachi, gladly reunited with him yet again.

"Don't even bother," Sasuke interrupted. "You're taking the damned money."

"Preach!" Naruto interjected.

"At least Naruto should…"

"No way, dude. Nuh uh. Think of it as rent money."

"Just a sec," Sasuke signaled to Itachi, who glanced into Sasuke's well-kept room as Sasuke quickly grabbed about half of the money stuffed deep into the drawer.

"Naruto…" Itachi stated. "Where have you been sleeping? Please don't tell me my brother's been making you sleep on the floor. We can make a nice bed for you on the couch."

Sasuke, rummaging through the drawer, paused and stared at his desk for several seconds as shock caused him to lag. Why hadn't Sasuke seen that coming? Sharing a bed with Naruto just seemed so natural that hiding the fact didn't even occur to him. He'd left the door wide open. Naruto starting laughing, and even a stranger could have realized it was rooted in awkwardness. Shit, why did Naruto have to be so expressive?

"We take turns," Sasuke answered calmly, albeit after a brief delay.

Sasuke had no doubt in his mind at that point. Itachi had figured it out. Sasuke's eyes met Itachi's. At that moment, both of them were aware of the other's knowledge. Itachi knew Sasuke was lying, and what's more, Itachi realized that Sasuke knew he would never buy the lie in the first place.

Sasuke believed that Itachi wouldn't resent him for it. He wondered if Itachi would let it slide and allow Sasuke to come to him on his own timing. How long would this be an unspoken understanding between the two of them?

"Well…" Itachi sighed. "I suppose that's decent, but Sasuke, it really is proper etiquette to give the guest the bed."

"Hey," Naruto replied. "It's one hell of a lot better than a sidewalk, so I ain't complaining."

"Fair enough."

Sasuke walked towards Itachi, formidable wad of cash in hand. He grabbed Itachi's hand, forcing the palm upward, and promptly shoved the money into it. Itachi stared down at his hand in disbelief.

"Most of it's from Naruto. The labor center and Magdalene's both pay in cash, so…yeah… Merry belated Christmas."

Itachi glanced up at them, looking from one to the other and back with his mouth hanging just slightly open.

"Speechless doesn't suit you," Sasuke told him.

"Thank you. You've both surprised me."

Sasuke hoped that Naruto wouldn't let on that they were hiding something – mainly the fact that a sizable portion of the bills resting in Itachi's hand was drug money, and that this was only half of the cash in Sasuke's desk. But Naruto kept his cool, and Itachi seemed to buy it. It almost made Sasuke feel guilty.

"I told you I'd take care of you."

* * *

 

The house had gone dark hours ago. It was coming up on eleven, and Itachi was showering to watch the ball drop. He told Sasuke that a new year was a clean start, so he might as well take the sentiment literally as well as figuratively.

Ferret waited outside of the bathroom, curling against it. Sasuke was perusing a calculus book in his bedroom, preparing himself for math class next year. Sasuke left the door of his bedroom open as Naruto approached Ferret, loudly ruffling a bag of Ferret's treats. Ferret's head perked up in in interest.

"Psst! Ferret!" Naruto whispered.

Naruto was kneeling about ten feet away. He still had the feline's attention, yet she seemed entirely reluctant to move.

"Ferret!"

Her white and bushy tail, occasionally interrupted by grey spots, swished from one side to the other. Ferret's head returned to the door.

"Tstststs. Ferret!" Naruto whispered, wrinkling his fingers.

No luck.

"Dammit, Ferret! Get your snotty ass over here!"

"What are you doing?" Sasuke sighed.

"What's it look like? I'm tryin' to play with Ferret!"

"So then why don't you just go up and pet her?"

Naruto frowned.

"Well, that wouldn't be much fun. I'm tryin' to get her to do something good so I can give her treats."

Sasuke's eyes parted from the text, staring at both Naruto and the cat knowingly.

"You're jealous that Ferret doesn't follow you around like she does us."

"What?!" Naruto shouted, waving his arm emphatically at the ridiculousness of the accusation. "That's silly! I'd never be jealous of that!"

"I'm sure."

"No, it's not… I mean it's just that she's never come to me after I introduced her to you again, and…"

"So you're jealous," Sasuke volunteered for him, returning to his text.

Naruto pouted, puffing out some air before he decided to take the plunge.

"Well… Aren't you?"

In that, Naruto had basically admitted the fact. How silly, Sasuke thought, to be jealous of over a cat's affections.

"Why would  _I_  be jealous?" Sasuke asked, starkly ceasing his reading.

"She used to follow you around just like she's doin' with Itachi." The cat had returned to her pining, staring once again at the bathroom door and meowing. "But now it's just Itachi, Itachi, Itachi for her…"

"That's not true," Sasuke answered, sounding somewhat bothered.

Now that he thought about it, she  _had_  been neglecting Sasuke lately. But she'd always been Itachi's cat. Besides, Itachi had resided near university for several years preceding Ferret's "death." Maybe the cat was making up for lost time.

"Okay, okay. It isn't true. No need to get all sensitive."

"I'm not being sensitive," Sasuke hissed, rather annoyed with Naruto's implicit accusations.

"Right."

"I'm not jealous over a goddamned cat. Unlike you, my ego isn't that fragile."

"My ego isn't fragile! Are you insane?!" Naruto shouted back, flailing his arms towards the last sentence.

"How insecure do you have to be to feel rejection pains over a cat?"

Sasuke was trying to retain his sense of aloof smugness, and he wasn't doing a bad job.

"Oh," Naruto responded bitterly. "And I suppose you have  _none_."

"I don't need to have any," Sasuke answered cockily, crossing his arms. "Ferret likes me every bit as much as she does Itachi."

Naruto merely sulked at Sasuke, appearing somewhat uncertain.

"Right, whatever. I'm gonna get somethin' to eat."

Naruto closed up the cat treats and left them by the stairs. Sasuke waited to hear Naruto's noisy and sloppy footsteps descend the stairs. Naruto was in the kitchen now. Sasuke heard the microwave. It was just Ferret and him now. So getting up and looking, from side to side to assure he was alone, he walked over to the stairway, exactly where Naruto had been sitting.

"Ferret…" he whispered, only to be ignored.

"C'mon, Ferret. Psh. C'mon."

That at least got Sasuke a solid but rather bored "meow" until Ferret decided to favor the bathroom door again. Somewhat disgusted with himself, Sasuke grabbed and opened the cat treats. He knew Ferret could smell them. He ruffled the bag noisily, just as Naruto had earlier.

"Pshpshpsh."

Ferret meowed at him once more, looking more interested now, her eyes on the bag as her tail completed several full swishes. Sasuke moved forward a few steps in an attempt at compromise. He took out a treat now, in Ferret's full view.

"Psh, psh. C'mon Ferret."

He'd caught the cat's attention, but she just wouldn't move. The shower stopped, and Sasuke realized he wouldn't have much time.

"Ferret, come here. Come."

Ferret gave him a low and rather frustrated meow, as if irritated that Sasuke wasn't walking directly up to her and literally hand feeding her. What, would she want him to chew it for her next? Ferret had developed a princess complex in remarkably little time. She still refused to move.

Sasuke stared at the cat wordlessly for a moment in annoyance before speaking under his breath, "Frigid bitch."

Of course, just about now, the door had to open, Itachi moving out with his gauze replaced and a towel around his thin waist. He wouldn't have been able to hear Sasuke from the shower. Itachi glanced, perplexed, from Sasuke, to the cat, and then to Sasuke again.

"I didn't just hear you verbally abusing our cat, did I?"

Ferret quickly trotted up to Itachi, purring as she rubbed herself against Itachi's warm leg. Sasuke gave her a sour look at her all too obvious affection towards his older brother.

Sasuke sighed, "I'm trying to train her, and she's being frustrating."

Itachi stared at Sasuke incredulously. Ferret was nearly as old as Sasuke was, and thus much too old for training.

"Sasuke, you're not…jealous because Ferret's been showing me so much attention lately, are you?"

Wasn't this the definition of injustice? It had been  _Naruto_  who had been out in the hallway trying to attract Ferret's attention for a solid five minutes. Sasuke just ventured out for a few seconds, and now suddenly  _he's_  the jealous one?

" _Naruto's_  jealous, not me," Sasuke rebutted, though this did nothing to explain why Sasuke had gotten so peeved when Ferret hadn't listened to his calls.

"Sasuke, she's just showing me extra attention because I'm new. I'm sure she was latched onto you before I came home."

This was true, of course, but still…

"Why are you trying to reassure me?"

Of course, this had to be the time Naruto walked back up the stairs again.

"What's goin' on?" Naruto asked.

Naruto looked over, noting the bag of cat treats still in Sasuke's hand. And now Sasuke was the center of everyone's attention, naturally. Naruto grinned widely.

"You were trying to get Ferret to come, weren't ya, Sasuke?"

It wasn't like Sasuke could deny it, with Itachi probably having overheard a good portion of this exchange.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sasuke snipped.

"So you  _are_  jealous!"

Why was he being cornered again when this had all been brought up by Naruto? Why was everyone trying to reassure him, as if Ferret's disobedience were some immense emotional trauma to Sasuke? Naruto was the one getting his feelings hurt, not him.

"Why does everyone think I'm jealous over this stupid cat?"

"Sasuke, it's okay…" Itachi offered.

And then there was a jingle of Ferret's collar and a warmth that rubbed against Sasuke's leg. It was Ferret. Sasuke bent down to scratch Ferret behind the ears, the cat butting her head into Sasuke's palm and purring.

"Well, there you go."

"As if I care," Sasuke grumbled under his breath.

Itachi walked towards his bedroom.

"I'm going to get dressed. I'll be down in about twenty minutes."

Sasuke and Naruto curled up on the loveseat, covering themselves in a thick blanket. Sasuke brought down an extra one for Itachi, which he'd probably need. Each rested his head at the opposite end of the furniture, their legs intertwining. They flipped the channels, finally agreeing upon one for the night's broadcast. They chattered, commenting on how strange it felt to be leaving 2012 behind. Naruto complained that he probably wouldn't be able to write the date correctly until February.

Sasuke, of course, made certain to zip up the stairs the instant he heard movement so that Itachi couldn't descend them alone. As the days proceeded, Itachi became increasingly steady. However, both Naruto and Sasuke agreed that at this point, it was best for someone to be there to catch him. It didn't take long for Itachi to reach the lower floor. The interruption had also given Naruto and Sasuke opportunity to position themselves in a much less…intimate manner.

Itachi sat in the lounge chair, gladly accepting the blanket Sasuke had folded on the seat. Sasuke made his way into kitchen to prepare some popcorn. He'd waited for Itachi so that it would be hot for all three of them. Sasuke knew that Itachi had always liked New Years', and Naruto could go for just about any holiday. In fact, he'd decided it necessary to give Sasuke an extra kiss on National Parfait Day. Sasuke didn't even know how Naruto was aware of some of these obscure holidays.

"Sasuke!" Naruto exclaimed happily, wasting no time in shoveling the popcorn into his mouth. "I wouldn't think you'd be so festive!"

"I thought that if I kept your mouth busy, I wouldn't have to hear so much of your yammering."

Itachi started eating as well, hungrier than he'd let on.

"This is good popcorn," Itachi commented.

It was brand name Orville Redenbaucher, a luxury the Uchiha brothers hadn't experienced for a while. They could find popcorn for as cheap as a quarter, but it tasted like Styrofoam. Of course, Sasuke had bought the popcorn with other intentions in mind, though he'd still be up for said movie night, even though Suigetsu ended up nulling the agreement.

He'd just wait for Juugo to get out of the hospital first. It felt too strange to watch a movie with Karin alone.

"It's Orville, but I found it at the dollar store."

"Nice."

Gangnam Style was playing over the television now, a recap from earlier that night. Apparently Psy had come on just before 11.

"Dude, Gangnam Style, seriously?" Naruto asked, squinting his nose.

"I'm a little surprised to see it myself," Itachi admitted.

"Some guy singing a song in Korean at Times Square for New Years… If this isn't like…the tip top of global fame, I don't know what is."

"If this were my claim to fame, I'd prefer to remain in obscurity," Sasuke grumbled.

"C'mon, it's catchy," Naruto answered, his voice chipper.

"It's annoying as sin," the youngest of the three sighed, grabbing a small handful of popcorn.

"Dude, Sasuke…"

Naruto was quite obviously excited, which naturally made Sasuke skeptical.

"What," Sasuke answered, more a statement rather than a question, as the latter would imply that he was actually interested in the answer.

"We should totally learn the Gangam Style dance."

"How about you learn the dance and just never show me?"

"You're such a stick in the mud! Itachi, will you learn the dance with me?"

"Sorry, I can't…" Itachi sighed. "You know…stitches and all."

"You are so full of shit," Sasuke cut in.

Of course, Itachi was just trying to be polite, which tended to be one big difference between the two brothers. Sasuke really didn't care whom he offended. Itachi had a little more social grace than that.

The viewing now cut to the current broadcast back from the recap, which was Taylor Swift. This time, the group's opinion was rather unanimous.

"Fuck, not that bitch…" Naruto griped, holding his head in his hand.

Yet they all suffered through it, for the sake of tradition. However, that didn't mean they couldn't turn the volume down and drown her out.

“Dontcha wish we could see Led Zeppelin or something play? Jimi Hendrix? Oh! Maybe even Sublime. The old Sublime,” Naruto pitched in enthusiastically.

“I’d die happy,” Itachi added. If only.

There was a comfortable silence among the three, with Ferret cuddled up with Itachi.

"Kinda weird to think 2012 is over, huh?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah. We'll be out of holidays until Valentine's," Itachi answered.

"No. Naruto can't go more than a couple weeks without celebrating some forgotten and pointless holiday. He'll find something."

"January 11 is Amelia Earhart Day," Naruto pitched in helpfully.

"Do you actually memorize these?" Itachi asked.

"A few of 'em. I mean, I guess a day doesn't have to be a holiday to be special, but it's kinda cool when it is."

Itachi smiled faintly at Naruto. He was a person thoroughly intent on being happy, a chronic optimist, as well as the type who would relentlessly pursue a goal to its end.

Itachi had always been the type to suffer silently. He'd stuff away his true feelings, because he was needed. He had to be a responsible adult. But from what he could assess, Naruto's happiness was sincere, despite everything. Itachi could be composed, logical, and mature. He knew how to avoid depression and fear. Happiness, however, had proved difficult for him to grasp.

"Do you really celebrate them?"

Sasuke was wondering why his brother was actually intrigued by this.

"Hmm… Kinda. Secretly. I think about it for a bit in the morning and sometimes say somethin' to someone if they're around. Now it's usually just Sasuke I pester," Naruto replied with a grin, ruffling Sasuke's hair.

Sasuke grunted, rolling his eyes as Train took the stage, singing "Imagine." It was a mellow song, one that Sasuke had always liked. He did, however, find it to be a bit rosy for his tastes. It was only five minutes now until the ball would drop. The three of them were silent, other than the munching of popcorn, just listening to the song and staring down at the five minute countdown. It wasn't until the minute hand hit two that Itachi finally spoke up.

"You know, I won't be offended if you two kiss," Itachi stated quietly.

Naruto, who had just taken a swallow of popcorn, began to choke loudly, coughing as the food particles went down the wrong way. Sasuke's eyes, meanwhile, broadened without his permission as he quickly sat up straight in his seat.

"What?" Sasuke asked, though he wasn't sure why he was even surprised.

"When the ball drops."

Unconsciously, Sasuke shifted away from Naruto.

"Why would you say that? Why would I want to kiss  _him_?" Sasuke asked, gesturing over at Naruto derogatorily.

"Yeah!" Naruto chimed in, partially recovered. "Why would he want to kiss  _me_? Wait…"

Naruto trailed off, finally catching on. Meanwhile, Itachi was simply staring at Sasuke with what Sasuke had deemed his "who are you fooling, little brother?" that expression he tended to wear in situations like these. It made Sasuke want to retreat into his skin.

Of course, he couldn't fool Itachi. Last night, Itachi had asked Sasuke whether he'd done all of these things for Naruto out of love. However, this didn't necessarily mean a  _romantic_  love, but when Itachi noted the lack of bedding on the floor, and then the look Sasuke had shared with him… There was absolutely no way he didn't know.

"Wait a second! What makes ya say kissing me would be so bad? I mean…hypothetically."

"Your breath stinks."

"It does not!"

He'd have been lying if he'd said that kissing Naruto tonight hadn't occurred to him. After all, one of the few times he'd ever seen his parents openly affectionate was the dawn of the New Year. He felt embarrassed even admitting it to himself, but he had been looking forward to it.

"And even if I would, it's just some cliché tradition anyway," Sasuke remarked.

But he remembered, so keenly, his parents.

"All I'm saying is that I'll be fine no matter what you choose to do, so don't worry about it," Itachi responded.

"Everything's 'cliché' to you," Naruto griped.

"People tend to be cliché."

" _I'm_  not cliché," Naruto asserted, smiling.

"No, you're just a sap."

"Would you shut up about shit being cliché and sappy? Look!"

After Naruto spoke, he pointed towards the television, which showed only one minute remaining until the New Year hit. "It's almost 2013! Don't bring it in bein' a sourpuss."

"Naruto's right, Sasuke," Itachi agreed. "C'mon, this is the one holiday we've always spent together as a family. Just relax and enjoy it."

Sasuke sighed, understanding where Itachi was going. It was the only holiday where, without fail, Fugaku was able to get off of work and celebrate with them. Even last year, Sasuke and Itachi had found a way to be together. However, New Years of 2012 was the only year that there was no kiss.

"Fine already," Sasuke conceded. "I even made resolutions, remember? Does that make you guys happy?"

"Quite," Naruto answered with a grin.

Thirty seconds.

"Oh shit!" Naruto cheered. "It's almost here! It's coming!"

Itachi was merely lying back in his chair and petting a sleeping Ferret, smiling. Soon enough, the crowd on the television was announcing the time for them.

_"Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven."_

The popcorn was untouched. With each number, Naruto seemed to lean closer into the screen.

_"Six. Five. Four."_

Itachi had begun to silently mouth the numbers. Naruto seemed hardly able to contain himself, rubbing his hands together excitedly as the countdown continued.

_"Three!"_

Despite himself, even Sasuke felt a slight stirring, perhaps he should say, in his chest cavity. He probably only cared because everyone else seemed to, but did there really need to be a logical and honorable explanation for his rather modest excitement? It was enjoyable and perhaps better left unquestioned.

_"Two!"_

Sasuke glanced over at Naruto one more time, just to see the look on his face as the countdown drew to an end. Naruto was easily pleased and easily excited, true. But seeing him like this, especially considering their situation, was refreshing, and… Really Sasuke just liked seeing Naruto so happy.

_"One!"_

However, just as Sasuke turned to face Naruto, Naruto turned to face him. Sasuke’s jaw lowered, his mouth just slightly open in apprehension.

_"Happy New Years!"_

Naruto pulled Sasuke into him by the collar, planting a firm kiss on his lips. Sasuke tensed, his eyes wide, witnessing his brother, on the other side of the room, smile and look away as the crowd on their television cheered.

Sasuke didn't pull away, melting into Naruto’s kiss. He allowed Naruto to kiss him for as long as he pleased, even with his older brother present. This only ended up being for about four or five seconds, but it seemed much longer to Sasuke. Sasuke felt his cheeks grow hot, and he realized that he was blushing. He knew that, during the rare times he blushed, his pale skin tone tended to make it more obvious. He hoped that the room was dark enough so that Itachi wouldn't notice.

It was so  _unlike_  him to care what anyone thought about him, but this was Itachi, who always seemed to be the exception to this rule. It was one thing to speak of some comfortably generalized love, see a room without extra bedding, and share a knowing glance. But he'd… actually kissed another male  _right_  in front of his brother just now. Yet he was still glad to be here, celebrating this holiday with the two people who meant the most to him.

Sasuke turned to face his brother to check his reaction, but Naruto quickly tilted Sasuke's face back towards him. He smiled at Sasuke, but it was more serene and perhaps more resonant than it usually was. Sasuke smiled back, very modestly. Sasuke's face  _had_  to be bright red by now; he was sure. Naruto kissed Sasuke once more, his hand against Sasuke's cheek. Sasuke felt so uncharacteristically shy, but he reciprocated nonetheless. As Sasuke leaned into Naruto and rested his hand on Naruto's thigh, the couch creaked. The sound caused Sasuke's body to freeze.

"I said you guys could kiss, not make out," Itachi teased.

Sasuke quickly separated himself from Naruto and looked over at his brother, who seemed perfectly comfortable in the situation. Sasuke tucked a chunk of his hair behind his ear, hoping that no one could distinguish this awkward silence from any of Sasuke's other silences. Itachi began to chuckle under his breath, shaking his head at the lovers' awkward motions. It had been a while since Itachi had seen Sasuke let another individual under his harsh exterior. Frankly, it was about time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is set in 2012/2013!
> 
> As you can see, the three of them are into classic rock, with a little alternative mixed in. They actually have pretty similar music taste.
> 
> Thank you so much for all the love I've been getting. It really encourages me. I'll try to respond to some comments over the week.


	52. Chapter 52

A particularly loud snore from Naruto roused Sasuke from his deep sleep. Naruto's arm rested heavily on Sasuke's Adam's apple, causing breath to come difficultly to him. A heavy leg was sprawled across both of Sasuke's thighs, and their combined body heat maintained a healthy atmosphere of warmth underneath the covers. A migraine announced itself, his eyes lazily adjusting to the light.

Sasuke felt rather disgusted with himself when he glanced at his alarm clock and noticed that it was near noon. He'd overslept, if his headache, general malaise, and quarrelsome stomach had anything to say about it. It was customary to sleep in over winter break, but this was absurd. He'd never trained himself to be so lazy, though Naruto obviously couldn't say the same. Sasuke glared down at his boyfriend as he let out another raucous snore, tempted to plug his nose.

The three of them hadn't gone to bed last night until almost three hours past midnight. They commented idly on television shows and even played a round of Uno. Naruto won, remarkably, but he had also dealt the deck. He remarkably had three "draw four" cards from the very start, though he insisted that he didn't cheat. Sasuke believed him, actually, as every single one of his own cards was blue. Naruto couldn't shuffle for shit.

As he recounted the past night's undertakings, he remembered, yet again, that Naruto and he had kissed in front of Itachi. It still felt unreal when he thought about it, but Itachi hadn't dwelled on it. Really, of the three boys, Sasuke had been the most uneasy. The rest of the night proceeded as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred.

It wasn't as though Naruto's decision to kiss Sasuke actually changed anything. Both Naruto and Sasuke realized that Itachi already knew about their relationship. Sasuke wished he had a brother that was easier to hoodwink. Itachi seemed to figure just about everything out, whether he announced his knowledge or not.

However, the one thing that Itachi hadn't seemed to discover is the illegitimate way in which Sasuke had been making money over the past months. If Itachi had known, Sasuke was sure he would have confronted him about it by now.

He wondered how long he could keep this from Itachi. Itachi was bound to figure out that most of Sasuke's friends had gone missing. Konoha High School had just had two of its students busted for armed robbery. This was big news for their sleepy suburb. Kabuto and Suigetsu's imprisonment would get around to Itachi eventually. Of course, after learning that Sasuke was hanging out with a crowd capable of armed robbery, Itachi would likely have other questions for him.

But his thoughts reminded him of one other topic: It was noon, and Sasuke hadn't taken Itachi downstairs. Sasuke quickly got out of his bed, which was no easy task. He had to pry himself out of Naruto’s grasp; it was remarkable what a heavy sleeper Naruto was. Perhaps this was an acquired skill.

Sasuke didn't bother changing, wearing the same Taco Bell T-shirt he'd changed into last night after the festivities. Perhaps it wasn't his most stylish garment, but his clothes were all dirty, and he wasn't going anywhere. He had to do the wash fairly often, as his wardrobe hadn't yet recovered entirely from the fire. Whatever the case, those clothes probably would have been outgrown by now anyway. He was even outgrowing the clothes that were donated to them after the fire.

This shirt he wore now was actually from Suigetsu, who gladly discarded it after his summer job had finished. It was only a little too big on Sasuke. Wearing his friends' old work shirt made Sasuke feel like a bum, so he decided he'd do the wash today.

He quickly made his way to Itachi's bedroom and opened the door by a crack. Itachi's bed was made, and Itachi was nowhere to be seen. Sasuke growled under his breath.  _Again?_  He understood that Itachi was recovering, but Itachi wasn't ready to be using the stairs alone yet. How could he get through to Itachi? Sasuke realized that he was beginning to sound a little bit like his mother used to. It seemed like the dynamics between Itachi and Sasuke weren’t quite so clear cut these days. Itachi still had ultimate authority, but more and more they were interacting as brothers rather than as father and son.

He walked downstairs to find Itachi sitting at the kitchen table, reading a newspaper and drinking a glass of milk. Sasuke glowered at Itachi for several seconds. Without looking away from his newspaper, Itachi spoke out to Sasuke teasingly, "Well, you're up early. Nice getup."

Sasuke didn't respond, still casting his brother the stink eye. Itachi looked back at Sasuke now rather sheepishly. They held each other's eyes for a while, a rather long and awkward silence consuming the room. Itachi knew that he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, so to speak, and he knew that Sasuke was annoyed with him.

 _Whatever_ , Sasuke thought. He was too tired to scold Itachi, and given that his living arrangement with Naruto was brought into the light just a couple days ago, it would be best not to push his luck. Besides, it was New Year's Day. The look Sasuke gave Itachi spelled out, "I'll let this slide. Just this once." Sasuke knew Itachi could read him.

"Did you eat breakfast?"

"I finished my meal replacement shake an hour ago."

Sasuke knew that said shake had only been about half full. He had put it in the refrigerator for Itachi last night before they went upstairs. It was already noon now. There was no way Itachi was full.

"That's not a real breakfast. Do you want breakfast or lunch?"

Although Sasuke had just woken up, he had to admit that the call was rather borderline.

"Lunch sounds good."

Sasuke rummaged for a pan, already brainstorming ideas for their meal.

"Mn… Sasuke, I know this is odd to ask, but I'm sort of craving grilled cheese."

Sasuke tilted his head. It wasn't Itachi's taste at all. The last time they'd had grilled cheese together, Sasuke had been about eight. Their mother made it. The bread was always so crisp, never burned, and with just the right amount of butter.

"You want a grilled cheese?" Sasuke asked dryly.

"For some reason, yes."

"Sure you're not pregnant?"

Itachi sighed.

"You've found me out. How do you feel about being an uncle?"

"Drafting my acceptance speech as we speak."

They didn't speak for the next several minutes. There was no need to. It was peaceful in the kitchen, the only sounds being Itachi's flipped pages and the sizzling of the buttered bread on the skillet. It was a very simple meal. Although Sasuke had never made a grilled cheese sandwich, he'd watched his mother make them enough to manage it.

If he were going to eat a grilled cheese, he might as well go for tomato soup. However, he remembered Tsunade's warning. Tomato soup was far too acidic for Itachi. That, combined with a grilled cheese, was bound to cause Itachi some rather painful issues. So Sasuke wouldn't make the soup. He didn't want to eat something that Itachi couldn't right in front of him.

One grilled cheese sandwich was finished quickly, the bread appropriately crisp, cheese melting over the crust. He served it to Itachi as he made his own sandwich. The skillet was already searing, so his meal was ready quickly. He placed the skillet in the sink and filled it with hot water and soap to soak before taking his plate over to the table.

As he ate, Sasuke took his cell phone out of his pocket, skimming through an inbox thoroughly swamped by "Happy New Year's!" texts. It seemed that his classmates were on a mission to show Sasuke every way this sentiment could possibly be expressed through the medium of text messages, at varying levels of intoxication. Sasuke tapped his finger on the screen with each new deletion. How did so many people even have his phone number?

Itachi looked up from his textbook, glancing at his brother's frustrated movements.

"God, Sasuke. Got enough messages?"

Of course, his phone took that opportunity to vibrate and shoot off yet another New Year's message, rather poorly timed. It was nearing the afternoon, and some of the people sending him messages had already sent him texts last night. They probably didn't even remember doing it.

"Apparently not," Sasuke grunted, deleting the incoming message.

It would seem that people had stopped being afraid of him, or were at least reassured enough to send him pointless text messages. The memories were fresh in his classmates' minds when winter break started. With the fight drifting to the back of their memories, they probably weren't as nervous about the whole incident as they had been when Karin most recently told Sasuke about the school's gossip.

He didn't particularly care about their opinions, however, other than the fact that being feared wouldn't help him come election time next year.

"I shouldn't even be surprised," Itachi mused. "It's just like last year."

Sasuke noticed Itachi slip out a small white pill and swallow it with the glass of milk he'd poured himself before Sasuke had come down. It looked like his Vicodin. Was Itachi in pain this morning? He hadn't hurt himself on the stairs, had he? Itachi caught Sasuke's eyes, and he knew that Sasuke had noticed. Sasuke, however, let it go.

"And every year before that. I just didn't own a cell phone back then."

Of course, Itachi understood his woes. Itachi had always been extremely popular himself, despite how different his personality was from his brother's. Still, for once, Sasuke seemed to have Itachi beat. Sasuke assumed it was reverse psychology. The more he pushed people away, the more they seemed to want in. Compared to his brother, he found himself having more people after him but fewer real friends.

"Hey, Sasuke…"

"Yeah?" Sasuke asked, still reorganizing his phone's inbox and chewing a bite of his sandwich.

"Back when you were dating Sakura, did Dad ever give you the talk?"

"The talk?" Sasuke asked, raising a brow. What was Itachi going on about? Well, he had figured out Sasuke was dating Naruto yesterday, and now he was referencing Sakura… Oh, the  _talk_. He quickly regretted asking for clarification.

"Don't go there, Itachi," Sasuke commanded menacingly.

"He never gave you the talk?"

"I don't need any talk."

Itachi tucked a long wisp of hair behind his ears, the lines on his face making him look especially tired that morning.

"You're at that age. You're not supposed to learn this stuff out of a book, you know."

Yes. That's what Google is for.

"I know everything I need to know."

Sasuke cursed himself momentarily for how typically teenage he'd sounded at that moment. He suddenly felt as if he were every bit as young as Itachi was treating him, sitting before him eating a grilled cheese and wearing an oversized Taco Bell T-shirt. Why did he have to be wearing this stupid shirt? And it wasn't his fault Itachi had some strange grilled cheese craving.

Yet his statement had been true, he believed, no matter how it came off. He didn't need any instruction. Besides, he really just wanted to avoid having this conversation with his brother. Itachi was about to speak, but suddenly it looked like Itachi had some sort of realization. His face sunk.

"Oh God. I'm too late," he said in a rather small voice.

Sasuke glanced away quickly, fussing with the bottom hem of his shirt.

"Look, Itachi… I have an IQ of 180 and access to the internet. It's not rocket science."

Itachi had this look on his face like he'd failed Sasuke. It was a little ridiculous, in Sasuke's mind. He would have much rather figured out things for himself.

"You used protection, right?"

"Ah…"

Well, Naruto was a virgin, right? And so was he. What need was there for protection?

"Sasuke!" Itachi chided.

"It's not like pregnancy is an issue. Besides, he's a virgin anyway."

Or Naruto  _was_ , rather. Yet this certainly wasn't a slip of the tongue Sasuke felt like addressing.

"You still need to use protection. You can transmit STDs through oral sex too."

Sasuke sighed, rubbing at his temple as his phone vibrated again.

"Did you use lube?"

Sasuke gaped at Itachi, horrified.

"You have to use lube _every time!_ Anal tearing is serious. It can require…"

"Can you please not?"

This was really too embarrassing. He stared down at his shirt, wondering why such a random observation was pre-occupying him. Even the fact that he was wearing something so stupid made him self-conscious. He was just bumming around the house anyway.

"It's dangerous! It can require medical attention and even…"

"Itachi, stop."

"Even hospitalization!"

"We used lube, alright?" Sasuke hissed. "Christ…"

As much as he hated this conversation, at least it hadn't gone into some in depth discussion of his sexual orientation. In fact, Naruto's gender didn't seem to disturb Itachi in the slightest. However, he did care that Sasuke had apparently begun having sexual intercourse at the age of fifteen. All things considered, he was taking this pretty well.

"Good. Now, there are different sorts of lubricant. There is water-based, and then there's…"

Sasuke groaned rather dramatically. He'd hoped that his answer was enough for Itachi. Apparently not.

"I will walk right out of this kitchen. I swear to God."

He couldn't stand any more of this from Itachi, grilled cheese be damned.

"Who else is gonna tell you about this?"

"I don't need to hear it!" Sasuke answered emphatically.

"I know this is awkward, but everyone needs to hear this. I'm not going to ask you any questions. You can just sit here like a mute for all I care, but hear me out."

What was this supposed to be, Gospel? The Good Word?

" _This_  is how you bring in the new year?" Sasuke asked.

"You of all people don't get to use holidays as a cop out."

Sasuke grumbled, unconsciously crossing his arms to create a little more distance between his brother and him.

"Look, I know you think this is some necessary rite of passage bonding experience, but just assume I'm the freak occurrence who does not need this talk or any derivation of said talk."

Itachi rubbed his temple, evidently a little frustrated by his brother's stubbornness.

"Just listen, alright? If I find out my kid brother, who is under my guardianship, is having unprotected sex, I have a right to give him the talk."

Sasuke sighed theatrically, acquiescing but making his discontent with the situation as obvious as possible.

"Our folks would never forgive me if I didn't."

Sasuke cast Itachi a frustrated glance and nodded quietly. As much as he hated this conversation, he had to admit that he'd much rather hear it from Itachi than from his father.

"Okay…" Itachi took in a deep breath, attempting to focus. "There's water based lube, and silicone lube. You should use silicone, because it's thicker and better for anal. I know it's more expensive, but water based doesn't last as long and needs to be reapplied a lot. You need to use lube  _every_  time."

Sasuke was pretty sure that if it were possible to die from mortification, he would have done so by now.

"And when it comes to condoms, don't just buy the cheapest. Spend a little more and get something better. Trust me. It'll be worth it."

"Okay," Sasuke agreed, sounding rather defeated.

This continued for what Sasuke privately assessed to be at least a half hour. In reality, it was only six minutes. Sasuke nodded reluctantly, unwilling to directly admit that Itachi had taught him several things he didn't know. The conversation, which was more of a monologue, really, shifted fluidly between the very physical aspects of sex to the emotional.

Itachi was being very specific. It was a little strange to Sasuke that Itachi seemed to know so much about same sex intercourse. To his knowledge, Itachi was straight. Had he questioned Sasuke's orientation and versed himself on the subject? Hell, he could've even just started up yesterday. A little strange, really.

Sasuke finally spoke again, his head now rested on his palm in boredom.

"Did Dad… _really_  give you this talk?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes. In excruciating detail. Thought it would make a nice family tradition," Itachi answered, his voice slightly teasing.

The thought of his father being even remotely involved in such affairs was disturbing to Sasuke on every level, however… Itachi and he had to come from somewhere. He just didn't like the thought of his dad discussing condoms and lubricants with him. It had been bad enough with Itachi. Sasuke felt a pang of sympathy for his brother.

"The  _same_  talk?" Sasuke asked again, regarding Itachi uncertainly.

Itachi jerked slightly, only now becoming aware of Sasuke's intent.

"Not precisely. He focused more on me not getting anyone pregnant."

This was as Sasuke had suspected. Even though Itachi had been ridiculously busy in past years, it was only women for him as far as Sasuke knew. In fact, he couldn't recall having a single relative who was attracted to the same sex.

Of course, Itachi had discussed pregnancy with Sasuke as well. He granted each gender equal focus and didn't ask Sasuke any questions about preference, which Sasuke appreciated. He figured that the only reason Itachi had been so set on talking with Sasuke about this topic was that he felt that he'd failed Sasuke by neglecting it.

"Looks like I don't have to worry about that for now at least."

"Thank God," Itachi grumbled.

Itachi stood to pour himself another glass of milk. This was really the most Itachi had said on the subject of Sasuke's orientation. He wondered what his true thoughts were. It couldn't be that easy, could it?

"Itachi…"

"Hm?"

"Is that really it?"

"What?"

"I mean… I know you probably weren't…expecting this. Or maybe you were. I have no idea anymore. Lately you've kind of been creeping me out with how much you end up knowing," Sasuke admitted with a grunt.

Maybe that was it. Maybe the reason Itachi was being so easygoing was because he'd seen the signs before even Sasuke did.

"Ah, you mean your orientation? That did surprise me, but I can read people well. Naruto seems like a good kid, so I'm happy."

So he had been surprised after all. Itachi seemed to share Sasuke's philosophy. Orientation was pretty much a nonissue. It came down to the person in the end.

"Our…gene pool is becoming shallower, so to speak," Sasuke stated quietly, pretending to check his phone again. "I thought maybe you'd be disappointed if I didn't…help it along in the future."

Didn't someone have to carry on the family name? Their kin were dying out. Itachi tilted his head, squinting his eyes at Sasuke.

"I don't know if I like what you're implying here, Sasuke."

"It's not certain," Sasuke quickly reassured him. "It's too early to be making my mind up about things like having kids."

"No, Sasuke. I didn't mean that."

"Huh?"

"Do you seriously think you're the only one who can carry on this family's genome?" Itachi asked, staring down his nose at Sasuke. "Don't count your older brother out just yet."

Perhaps Sasuke was being silly. It wasn't as though Sasuke was an only child. Itachi didn't seem like the sort who would be overly concerned with spreading their marvelous genetic traits of intelligence, athleticism, wonderful hair, and perfect facial complexions.

Sasuke just had trouble thinking of his brother as someone who also had sexual desires and wants. The idea of him having children wasn't exactly at the forefront of his mind.

"I still got it," Itachi added.

"Did  _not_  need to hear that," Sasuke sighed.

Itachi chuckled, shrugging it off.

"I'm happy for you, Sasuke. It's good for you to not be so isolated. He's a good influence, and he's helping you move on."

Sasuke nodded, internalizing his brother's words. It was a relief to hear this directly.

"How do you think Mom and Dad would've taken it?" Sasuke asked with uncharacteristic timidity.

"Hm…" Itachi paused to think. "Mom would've been onboard from the start, other than the fact that you're having sex. She'd probably want you guys to 'just cuddle' until you were twenty, whatever the gender."

Itachi's seemed to light up with nostalgia when he spoke about their mother.

"Dad… I think it would've been a tough pill for him to swallow, at first. But I know he'd come around."

"If it were you, maybe," Sasuke said, a little bitterly. "For me… I don't know."

Itachi was silent, lost to thought for several seconds before speaking again.

"He was perhaps more frank with me because he considered me an adult. You don't talk to a twenty-one-year-old the same way you talk to a fourteen-year-old," Itachi mused, sipping on his milk. "But I know his views on a lot of subjects. I really think he would've been fine with it, given a few months."

"Yeah…" Sasuke answered, not sounding entirely convinced.

"Don't worry about it so much, Sasuke. I know they'd be proud."

Sasuke merely grunted. Maybe they could've gotten past Sasuke's orientation, but what about the shoplifting? What if they had somehow known about Sasuke putting their household at risk to sneak Naruto in? And if they knew about his dealing? Even though he had reconciled with his father in that hospital room, he didn't know if he would have been so understanding as to accept all of this.

"You're not the only one, brother, to think about what they'd have thought."

"You?" Sasuke asked incredulously.

"I'm basically taking over their role, you know?" Itachi stated uncertainly. "Hopefully, they're satisfied with me so far."

They'd never directly discussed what they believed happened to their parents, or whether they were looking over them. Sasuke, honestly, didn't believe he knew about these things any more than he had previously. There was no way of knowing. He didn't do well with the concept of faith, though even he had considered believing in an afterlife to dull his pain.

"I'm sure they'd be praising you nonstop, if they aren't too busy cursing me."

After all, he'd been shoplifting, having sex with a guy, and selling drugs. This wasn't exactly the honor roll behavior he'd been exhibiting when his parents had been around.

"You made a comeback, though. You've done so well, Sasuke. Raising money and behaving so well…"

He had been raising money, yes. Itachi just thought it was coming from a church rather than inordinate amounts of marijuana and pills. Sasuke stared towards the ground in what Itachi might have mistaken for contemplation.

"But since I'm the eldest, they'd expect more of me. I'm an adult, after all," he said with a forced smile. Or at least he had the responsibilities of an adult; he was twenty-two.

Sasuke shook his head. He knew Itachi felt guilty about getting sick, leaving Sasuke alone, and turning a blind eye to Naruto's presence. It was still rare though that Itachi expressed insecurity to Sasuke.

"I know they could be demanding," Sasuke admitted. "But I think they'd be proud of you."

"Yeah… Maybe."

"They always praised you."

"It's just…kind of fitting… At the end, I was at some stupid…"

Sasuke glanced at Itachi, surprised at Itachi's statement. Itachi quickly shook his head, taking a deep swallow of milk as if he were somehow chasing down the subject matter, trying to stay alert.

"What?"

"Ignore me, Sasuke. I think my Vicodin's setting in kind of fast."

Perhaps Itachi was searching for excuses, but it was true. Sasuke could tell that the drug was beginning to hit him heavily. He'd watched him take it just when he'd come downstairs.

"Loose lips, hm?"

Itachi nodded, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his hands over both of his upper arms.

"It comes out of nowhere sometimes and catches me off guard."

"Well, I don't mind it."

Itachi nodded again, a strand of hair beginning to fall out of place as it drifted downwards lightly. Itachi's eyes were moving rather slowly. He was beginning to look drugged, though distressed at the same time. Sasuke wondered if Itachi had actually wanted to finish that statement.

"If you wanted to continue along that train of thought, we can blame it on the Vicodin."

"Were you curious?" Itachi asked uncertainly.

Sasuke wondered if Itachi really just wanted an excuse to continue. He'd never press his brother to reveal something so personal out of curiosity. He so rarely got a read off of Itachi, who seemed to tuck all of his demons away. Isn't that what parents are supposed to do? Yet Sasuke still couldn't consider Itachi his parent, even after everything.

"Perhaps. Whether or not you put me out of my misery is up to your discretion, of course."

Itachi smirked.

"It was a party. When you called me, I was at some childish party that meant nothing, like the ones Dad always complained about. It had just begun, but… I still took to the highway like a lightning bolt when I probably shouldn't have been driving. Still, because of that stupid party, I was too late."

Sasuke frowned. He'd always wondered how Itachi had managed to make it to the hospital so quickly. Sasuke had heard the sounds of Itachi's classmates in the background and music. He knew what Itachi had to be doing on that retreat. But Itachi worked his ass off. So what if he decided to go to a damned party once every few months? He deserved that sort of break, and he was barely even twenty-one.

"How fast did you go, anyway?"

Itachi groaned.

"I might just take that one to my grave."

Sasuke smirked at Itachi, rolling his eyes. Itachi had sounded just slightly buzzed to Sasuke over the phone, and it only came across in the beginning of their conversation. Sasuke had to admit that finding out your mother just died had to be one of the most powerful buzzkills known to mankind.

He knew that this wouldn't take the liquor out of Itachi's system, but there hadn't been much to begin with. He couldn't have been far from the legal limit, though he still didn't know how fast Itachi had been driving. Still, speeding was pretty understandable, given the news and what exactly Itachi was rushing for.

Sasuke felt that he couldn't judge Itachi for something like this. It wasn't exactly something Itachi could have predicted or ever planned for.

"It's at least somewhat understandable."

"It's not. Please don't ever let my horrible example sway you. That type of driving is completely inexcusable, no matter what the situation."

Sasuke shrugged.

"I mean it, Sasuke. Tell me you're never going to do something so stupid."

"Alright, already."

The younger brother huffed, crossing his arms.

"Hey, Sasuke…"

Itachi sounded so oddly small as he spoke, staring down at the table. He looked as though he were having difficulty continuing.

"Hm?"

"How much did I miss it by, anyway?"

Sasuke furrowed his brows, staring back at the table. He was wondering why Itachi was worming through such information.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" he asked uncertainly.

Itachi paused, seeming to second guess himself.

"It's not sudden. I've wanted to know for a while."

Itachi must not've checked his time upon his arrival. It made enough sense. There were plenty more pressing matters than the time.

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure."

Sasuke watched Itachi for a few seconds, analyzing Itachi closely before he felt safe enough to continue. Itachi seemed certain now. He knew that the reason Itachi had kept these thoughts to himself was for Sasuke's sake, not his own.

"About ten minutes."

The way Itachi deflated made Sasuke felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He knew it had been against his better judgment to tell Itachi. He assessed that Itachi was recalling every red light, every lane change. He was wondering if he would have made it had he gone just a little bit faster or had taken a different freeway. Still, enough time had passed. If Itachi still had wanted to know, after so long, it might have never stopped bothering him.

"Look… Dad was in a good frame of mind. He sent me out of the room, so I wasn't there either. It would've been for you, not for him."

"I just… He knew where I was and why I wasn't there. A great way to leave off," Itachi mumbled.

Sasuke was just now beginning to realize that just about every conversation they ever had about their parents' death revolved around Sasuke's feelings and his reaction. Of course, Sasuke hadn't been one to volunteer information, but Itachi's aim was always to make Sasuke feel better.

Itachi was always gentle, careful not to trigger a down spell, or even worse, a panic attack. He never pried, but he would always listen. Had Itachi ever come to Sasuke even once for comfort? This was possibly why the situation felt so foreign.

"Trust me. He seemed plenty fine with it."

After all, Sasuke had brought this up during their fight. He mentioned that Itachi was probably getting drunk at that very moment, or would soon. It didn't even faze their father. He was nothing but proud. He would never be anything but proud of Itachi, and he doubted that had changed now.

"Huh?" Itachi asked.

"The reason I wasn't in the house… It wasn't because of my economics report."

That had been the story, after all. Sasuke had told Itachi that his economics group had an unforeseen hitch in their upcoming report, requiring the school night meeting that had caused Sasuke to be absent the night the house had caught fire. Itachi watched Sasuke with both concern and curiosity.

"Dad and I got in a fight, so I stormed out and stayed at Juugo's."

Itachi appeared shocked. He probably assumed that Sasuke would have told him about something so important, but Sasuke hadn't wanted to, especially considering that the fight was partially  _about_  Itachi.

"Sorry… I didn't know."

"Yeah, well… It was…" Sasuke sighed, composing himself. His palms were sweating. "He kept bringing you up. And I threw the whole party thing in his face. Er…sorry."

Itachi flinched, causing Sasuke to feel rather painfully guilty.

"He just wouldn't stop talking about how much…better you were. So I really wouldn't worry about his disapproval."

"He never thought I was better, Sasuke. He was just trying to motivate you and had a crappy approach. He thought he was doing you a favor."

Sasuke didn't respond. He sincerely doubted this. He wouldn't believe that his father prattled on about Itachi at work parties just to motivate him. He'd always feel that Itachi had been the golden child of the two of them, but he knew that his father loved him a great deal as well. That was enough for Sasuke.

"Dad really loved you, Sasuke. He was always proud of you."

Sasuke shrugged, and they were silent again.

"How did he react?" Itachi asked.

"He kept on singing your praises and got even madder at me. He didn't seem the slightest bit thrown off by it. Pretty typical, really," Sasuke stated, but his tone was more nostalgic than it was bitter.

Itachi sighed, and he seemed to grow visibly lighter. It seemed silly to Sasuke, for Itachi to cling onto such fears. It was so obvious how proud their parents had been of Itachi. It seemed to be all they ever talked about. Still, he knew that death could cause people to have some pretty irrational regrets.

"I'm sorry he was giving you such a hard time," Itachi told him, though he appeared relieved.

Sasuke shrugged.

"Is it really such a surprise? You were his dream child. I'm sure they'd think the same if they were still here."

"Thanks, Sasuke…"

Sasuke nodded quietly. He wouldn't pick up his book until Itachi picked up his, he decided. Itachi yawned, sipping again at his glass.

"Did you and Dad… Did you guys make up?"

Sasuke nodded again. Itachi had to have figured out that this occurred in the hospital, as Sasuke had run off immediately after the fight.

"I'm glad to hear that."

"Yeah. But you and Dad left off great, so…"

"It's not that. I can handle missing Mom a little better, because there was just no possible way I ever could have made it, no matter what I'd been doing. She wasn't the sort of parent to be easily disappointed either. But Dad… I actually stood a good shot of seeing him one last time."

Sasuke knew exactly how that felt. He didn't know what he would've thought if he hadn't caught his father before he passed away. After all, what would their last words to each other have been?

"What would you have said if you'd have made it?"

Itachi paused.

"I don't know. I guess I just wanted to be present."

"Look, Itachi…" Sasuke felt the corners of his lips sink as he continued to speak. "Dad…"

He found himself having trouble speaking. Detailed images of his father were returning to him, and they were still fresh. Some days, if felt like so much longer than a year since then, and other days, it felt like much shorter. He assessed that today was one of the latter. Whenever he thought about that night in the hospital with his dad, it felt like it had been just a couple weeks ago. How could memories one year old be so uncomfortably vivid?

"It wasn't pretty. Consider the possibility that you were better off not seeing it."

Itachi glimpsed at Sasuke sympathetically. Sasuke had been awfully young since his parents passed. Itachi had already become a legal adult and had left the house for college years ago, so the loss of their parents hadn't been as traumatic for Itachi as it had been for Sasuke, who lived them, saw them every day until suddenly everything changed.

It was quite an adjustment for Itachi, nonetheless. He had to move back to the suburbs very quickly for Sasuke's sake. It wasn't all that far from his college, and Itachi didn't want to pull Sasuke out of school and away from his friends on top of everything. But Itachi had to admit that of the two of them, Sasuke was the one whose life had changed the most radically.

To make matters worse, Sasuke found out that his mother was dead by returning to a house in flames. He had been on the front lines. He didn't get to hear the news over the phone from a family member. He stood in his father's hospital room as his life hung in the balance. Itachi had never asked Sasuke for details regarding their father's state before he died. He knew it would have been too painful.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke. But no matter what anyone tells me, I can't help but wish I was there."

Sasuke found himself wanting to say something childish and spiteful, along the lines of "just be glad that you only remember Dad  _whole_." He remembered his father's useless stump of an arm, the gauze and blood on his face, and his voice slurred from pain and morphine.

The sentence had been on the tip of Sasuke's tongue, but Itachi was correct when he phrased the sentiment the way he did. He couldn't  _help_  but wish he was there. It was hardly even his choice. It was basic psychology to find regret in death.

"Okay. Just know that Dad was cool with it. At least don't beat yourself up for that."

He wondered if Itachi would have been glad he'd seen their father, if he'd have made it. For someone who had lost so many people and who had nearly died himself, Itachi had seen very little blood. It always seemed to be Sasuke who ran into it, in the cases of their parents as well as Itachi himself.

Yet seeing their father had clearly meant a great deal to Itachi if he'd taken such risks to make it to the hospital on time. Sasuke and Juugo had done the same, really, and Sasuke still wondered how Juugo's massive clunker of a truck managed to reach such speeds. Maybe all of the traumatic memories would have been worth it. Sasuke wouldn't be so stubborn as to refuse to consider this.

"Okay…" Itachi answered, beginning to sound tired. He rested his head on his hand, which he'd propped up on the table. He appeared to be getting hit harder by his medication now.

"Want to lie down?"

"That might be for the best," Itachi acknowledged, sounding a little embarrassed.

Itachi remained at the table, however. He assumed that Itachi either wanted to go to bed or was too distracted to walk to the couch. Sasuke took Itachi's newspaper in hand, walking towards the stairs with him. Sasuke braced himself against the stairs, offering Itachi a firm arm. He seemed just slightly unsteady on his feet, so it was good to get him upstairs before the drug's full effect set in.

"Don't rush yourself."

Itachi paused, breathing slowly. He was beginning to pale.

"Dizzy?"

He nodded, going up several more stairs. Sasuke was practically hoisting Itachi up at this point, careful to avoid his wound. Itachi was fully capable of ascending the stairs himself, but it would have been risky. He'd finally made it up the stairs and to his bed. Sasuke pulled the sheets back so that Itachi could get in promptly, tucking him in. Itachi was still plenty awake though, grunting as he turned from one side to the other.

Of course, Itachi's stomach pain probably had a lot to do with it. Still, Sasuke could tell that something else was disrupting him. Even Sasuke felt a little off of his game after the conversation they'd just had. Sasuke placed his finger between Itachi's eyes, his brows knit together so closely that it had tensed all the surrounding facial muscles. The unexpected contact caused the surrounding muscles to surrender.

"Relax."

"Comin' from you…" Itachi mumbled.

"I have a stress ball for that."

"So that's your secret," Itachi muttered as he grew more tired.

Sasuke snickered, reading Itachi's newspaper as he sat on the side of his large bed. He picked a random article about the California job market. Itachi began to yawn again, his eyes drifting over to Sasuke.

Sasuke didn't feel that it was right to leave Itachi until he fell asleep. He couldn't explain why, but he'd learned to trust his instincts when it came to reading his brother. Perhaps their conversation, coupled with the Vicodin, had left Itachi in a fragile state of mind. Only a handful of minutes transpired before the room was filled with Itachi's nearly inaudible snoring.

As quietly as possible, he set Itachi's newspaper down on the bedstand and tiptoed out of his room, turning the knob of Itachi's door as he shut it to avoid the disruptive click. Itachi's door was still warped from the night Sasuke had kicked it down. He wished that Itachi hadn't had to see it and be reminded, but they didn't have the luxury of expensive home repairs.

Upon entering his bedroom, Sasuke glanced up at his dollar store calendar. The month of January displayed a detailed picture of the Messier 83 galaxy, which Sasuke knew was part of the Hydra constellation. Pinned directly above his computer, it was a little blurry from where he was standing without his glasses.

He could still make out the numbers noting the days, printed in large and clear blue font. January 6 was the day that Naruto would leave. This was a Sunday, exactly one week past Naruto's "discovery." Sasuke's spring semester would begin on January 7, a Monday, so Sasuke would be available to see Naruto off. What a lovely couple days those would be. On January 6, he would say goodbye to Naruto, even if just temporarily. On January 7, he would be forced back to school, back into the meaningless palaver and irrelevant assignments. Who would he sit with at lunch, anyway? There was only Karin. Everyone else was gone. People were leaving.

Sasuke refused to mark the day of Naruto's departure in any noticeable way. He didn't want Naruto to be reminded of the inevitable deadline every time his eye caught the all too visible calendar. So Sasuke wrote "ARC 3:30" on January 13, the box directly below that of January 6. He looped the R into the box of January 6. The acronym "ARC" meant nothing to Sasuke, but he was fully prepared to lie if Naruto asked. It was the most discreet way Sasuke could think of marking the date of January 6. It was not as though Sasuke could forget it, but he still felt that he needed to do this.

Sasuke plunked down on the bed rubbed the bridge of his nose as he took in a deep breath and released it.

"You were gone for a long time, babe," Naruto said quietly, leaning back in the office chair.

It still sometimes felt strange when Naruto gave him any affectionate nicknames that were not insults. Sasuke didn't mind it, however.

"Yeah. Got caught up."

Naruto walked over to Sasuke with eager strides, placing his hand against Sasuke's cheek and kissing him.

"I missed you."

Sasuke wondered if Naruto could tell that something was bothering him. For as oblivious as the man could be, he could be shockingly perceptive at times. Sasuke certainly wasn't an easy read, but Naruto had figured him out at least somewhat. Really, other than Itachi, he was the best at it out of anyone. Sasuke smiled as he kissed Naruto back, glad for the distraction.

"Clingy," he muttered.

"Fuck you too," Naruto answered, still smiling and not sounding the slightest bit put off.

Sasuke initiated the kiss this this time around, slipping his tongue quickly against Naruto's.

"I'll be the one fucking you, actually."

"Alright…" the older boy sighed in exasperation, wiping his forehead with the back of his palm. "Okay. I walked right into that one."

"You did."

Naruto gave Sasuke's shoulder a brisk shove, which Sasuke didn't respond to. Naruto leaned down on the bed, bringing down his face to meet Sasuke's directly, staring at him.

"Hey, what's up? You're acting weird."

"Am I? I'll remember to punch you next time."

Naruto ruffled Sasuke's hair, which Sasuke also didn't protest.

"You'd be willing to deck me just to put my mind at ease? You're such a thoughtful boyfriend."

Sasuke didn't answer, appearing somewhat dazed.

"I'm serious though," Naruto said. "If there's anything you want to talk about…"

The younger of the two sighed, sounding rather frustrated now. He'd done enough talking with Itachi.

"I'd rather not talk about it."

Naruto's lips scrunched together, the corners undulating. It appeared that Naruto was trying not to smile.

"It's cool. Don't worry about it."

Naruto was biting the inside of his lip. Sasuke wondered why Naruto was amused until he remembered what he was unfortunately wearing.

"You're not really…" Sasuke groaned quietly, resting his forehead into his hand. "Let me guess. 'I'd rather not  _taco_  'bout it.'"

The blond nodded, allowing himself to laugh at last now. Sasuke shook his head. He was about ready to throw this shirt in the trash now, or at the very least dump it on Naruto instead.

"I'm not sure which is worse: your jokes or your sense of timing."

"Heeey now," Naruto answered, grinning and gripping Sasuke by the shoulders. "You basically told the joke for me, so it's not fair to diss my sense of timing."

Sasuke's mood was lifting. He'd had quite the intense conversation with his brother. It hadn't been a bad one necessarily, just…heavy. It seemed to go from one difficult topic to the next, but he felt that the conversation had brought both of them closer. He even believed he put Itachi's mind at ease.

Yet talking wasn't what he needed right now. He'd had more than enough of that in the kitchen. Naruto's playful and off topic bantering seemed to be doing the trick. Naruto was steadily acquiring the ability to know when Sasuke should and should not be pressed, as Sasuke did sometimes need a little push to open up.

"Don't implicate me in that travesty. You were glaringly obvious."

"You could've just as easily ignored it."

"Call it morbid curiosity."

"So…" Naruto said, sitting next to Sasuke and peering at him with a comically distorted expression. "You admit that you were at least partially to blame for that joke?"

"Think what you will."

"You came up with it on your own, actually. The only thing I did was smile, so I refuse to take any more than…say…twenty percent of the blame. The rest is on you."

The sentence "I don't know how I'll stay sane without all of your shitty jokes to entertain me" was on the tip of his tongue, but Sasuke closed his mouth. Sasuke knew from experience that when people leave, it's often the annoying stuff you miss first. He didn't really want to think of his room so quiet, without Naruto's horrible jokes, his off key singing, or the ruffling of candy wrappers.

"You have the cheesiest sense of humor."

"At least I have one at all," Naruto baited mischievously.

"I do have a sense of humor," Sasuke pouted, which caused Naruto to smile instinctively. Perhaps Sasuke hadn't meant to look so sulky, but it was rather endearing.

Naruto sighed, resting his body against Sasuke, "Then why have you bean calling me cheesy? Are you trying to get a rice out of me?"

Sasuke just shook his head, though he remarkably had to suppress a smile. Maybe all of that serious talking had exhausted his brain to the point where these jokes actually had a ghost of an effect.

"Yes, Naruto. I am trying to get a  _rice_  out of you," Sasuke replied sarcastically.

Laughing uproariously, Naruto basked in satisfaction that he had gotten Sasuke to participate in yet another one of his jokes.

"Well holy guacamole, color me sorpresado."

"It's 'sorprendido,' dumbass."

Naruto tilted his head. Sasuke even seemed to have the accent down.

"You speak Spanish?"

"Intermediate. You're required to take a second language in high school."

Naruto had heard that people have to select a language in high school, so he wasn't so thrown off by it. Still, even if Sasuke had only been on his second or third year, the bastard was probably nearly fluent in it. He just learned  _that_  quickly. Why had Naruto even been surprised?

"I'm surprised you didn't take French of something."

"Why?"

"It seems like you'd take French."

Sasuke arched a brow.

"Do I seem French to you?" he inquired in a rather demeaning tone.

"I'd guess you were French before I'd guess you were Spanish, ya snob."

At Konoha and most other public schools in the area, French and Spanish were the only offered options.

"Meaningless stereotypes aside, I took Spanish because it's the most practical language for me."

Naruto sighed, rolling his eyes histrionically.

"Everything has to be 'practical' with you."

"I intend on practicing medicine in southern California. It's relevant."

Sasuke had planned so far ahead. It wasn't exactly surprising, though.

"Okay, okay. But still, you always act like that. Don't you ever just do something for the hell of it? Just because you like it?"

This was awfully similar to what Sasuke had said to Itachi in the hospital, urging him to satisfy his own desires. The concept had even been fairly similar to the argument he'd had with his father, which Itachi and he had just been discussing. Perhaps this was a family trait. Pleasure and enjoyment were always seen as so much less significant than success and accomplishments. It had been in both his and Itachi's upbringings.

"What, you mean like you?" Sasuke asked provocatively, snidely smiling at Naruto.

"Oi, are you calling me impractical?" Naruto asked, spunkily nipping Sasuke's neck. "Or better, you  _like_  me?"

" _Like_  you?" Sasuke asked with mock surprise, shoving his palm into Naruto's face to push him away. "Now you've gone too far."

"I'm your passion, right? Your impractical passion that has just about dislodged a certain stick that got crammed up your ass before you can even remember."

"Going on about a stick up my ass  _again_? How boring. Find some fresher insults."

"Will do, Captain Asslamp."

"This flattery gets you nowhere."

The conversation Sasuke had had earlier was drifting to the back of his mind. The fact that Naruto would leave in six days was being forgotten, if only in the moment. This ridiculous bickering was causing him to forget. During these times with Naruto, he remembered what he used to feel like when he'd hung out with Sakura or Juugo before the fire. It was a side of him that hadn't been given much reign over the past year.

"Ah, but I, Captain of the S.S. Too Awesome for Your Bullshit will never surrender."

"You're horrible at this. Have you even successfully named a pet?"

"Like Mr. Squooble? I don't know if I can live up to that, Sasuke. I'm sweating."

"I was four years old."

"Make excuses all you like! And what about Ferret?"

"I didn't name Ferret," Sasuke corrected. "Itachi did."

Naruto gaped at Sasuke openly for a few seconds.

" _Itachi_  did? He doesn't seem the sort to pick such a nonsensical name."

"Well, he was six. People tend to be nonsensical at that age."

"Why'd he name him Ferret?" Naruto inquired, resembling the aforementioned cat as he tilted his head inquisitively.

"I don't know."

"You gotta be shittin me!" Naruto remarked in alarm, his skeptical eyes open wide.

"Itachi would never tell me," Sasuke told him with a shrug. "He just said that Ferret seemed to be the proper name."

"And you didn't press it?"

"Who cares? It's just a name."

"It's not just a name! It's  _Ferret's_  name! What if it's her raison d'être?"

Only it came out of Naruto’s mouth sounding more like “raisin de eater.” Sasuke was pretty sure Naruto read it somewhere and was eagerly waiting for his chance to use it.

"Do you even know what a raison d'être is?" Sasuke inquired idly with proper pronunciation.

"Of course I do," Naruto answered, meanwhile wondering how Sasuke managed to nail that French accent so well if he took Spanish.

"Then what is it?"

"I don't need to prove anything to you."

Sasuke stared at Naruto victoriously, and Naruto held his tongue until he was too frustrated by Sasuke's expression to endure it.

"It's…kinda like her essence."

"Raison d'être" was a really cool looking phrase. Some really smart bad guy in a book he'd been reading had used it. He couldn't wait to impress Sasuke with it, but it didn't look like that was going so well. Sasuke snickered, almost laughed.

"Raison d'être is French for 'reason for being.' It's the reason for one's existence. And even if it  _did_  mean her essence, that still makes no sense."

"Same difference," Naruto grunted, resenting Sasuke's smug attitude.

"Not really."

Sasuke almost felt guilty when Naruto frowned, his lover seeming rather deflated.

"With your arrogance, you seal your fate, Corporal Douchecanoe."

With that, Naruto shoved Sasuke down on the bed, madly tickling him from head to toe. He tried Sasuke's neck, his stomach, his sides… Sasuke lay there limply, staring up at Naruto impatiently. His facial expression hadn't budged the entire time.

"Done yet?"

"This isn't fair!" Naruto cursed.

"My turn."

Sasuke quickly got up and forced Naruto over onto the bed. It wasn't rocket science. With a yawn, Sasuke tickled Naruto's neck, his stomach, and his sides. He'd assumed that Naruto had instinctively gone for his own ticklish spots on Sasuke, which was proving correct. Naruto laughed loudly…perhaps a little too loudly. He hoped that they wouldn't wake Itachi up. But revenge was sweet. Naruto's face was going red as he gasped for breaths.

"Sa-Sasuke! Stop!"

He was guffawing, unable to control himself. Sasuke had never tried to tickle Naruto, and he was shocked at how sensitive he was. This didn't take much effort from Sasuke.

"Imma kick you in the mouth if you don't stop!"

Naruto was beginning to cough, trying to catch his breath through all the laughter. Sasuke finally did give him a break, only to have Naruto lunge at him and make another desperate attempt to find his ticklish spot.

"How stupid are you? It's not going to work."

Naruto growled, still determined. Sasuke rolled his eyes and lay there.

"Impossible! You have to be ticklish  _somewhere_!"

"Naruto!"

Except it was Itachi speaking this time, yelling from his bedroom. It would appear they'd awoken him. Sasuke couldn't help but looked shocked, and Naruto grinned as he noticed Sasuke's expression.

"Yeah?" Naruto yelled back.

"The back of his knees. It's his weak spot."

For the first time in years, Sasuke had a strong urge to punch his brother in the face. That asshole had just betrayed him. Sasuke tried not to look perturbed by the announcement, though Naruto's face screamed pure evil.

"That's old news. I haven't been ticklish there since I was ten."

Naruto didn’t look like he was buying that.

"Then you wouldn't mind if I gave it a try."

Naruto reached for Sasuke's knee. This was it. Sasuke knew that if he resisted Naruto, he'd just find a way to go for Sasuke's knees later. There was bound to be a time when he let his guard down. So the only thing to do was to allow Naruto to tickle him and pretend not to be influenced. When Naruto's fingers quickly brushed over the back of his knees, Sasuke bit his tongue hard. Against his will, the corners of his lip rose. Naruto was on to him, and he couldn't endure this much longer.

A smile seized Sasuke's face, and then a chuckle, and before Sasuke knew it, he was laughing.

"Itachi, you asshole!" he yelled.

"You're welcome, brother," Itachi shouted back, using only what volume was necessary to be heard.

Sasuke supposed that this was his reward for waking Itachi up. He contorted, aiming to protect both of his knees.

"Stop! That's enough!"

Sasuke reflexively brought his knee up to his chest, and  _chomp_. Shit, he'd just kneed Naruto in the jaw. He genuinely hadn't meant to do that, though he wouldn't deny considering it.

"What the hell, Sasuke?"

"I told you to stop tickling me."

"So you knee me in the fucking face?"

Naruto grumbled as he rubbed at his jawbone, his lover refusing to apologize.

"Tickling me is dangerous. You should've listened."

Naruto quickly shimmied up the bed, pinning Sasuke down to the sheets.

"Bastard," Naruto swore.

He lay down on Sasuke, straddling him. Sasuke looked back at Naruto with expectant resentfulness, lazy and dark eyes compelling him to make up his mind. Naruto bit his tongue for a moment before kissing Sasuke. Sasuke returned it, not bothering to free his wrists from Naruto's grasp as his tongue clashed against Naruto's. He could always do something about his wrists later.

Naruto moaned in shock as Sasuke returned his affections, which caused Sasuke to stop.

"Quiet," Sasuke ordered, gesturing to Itachi's room with his jaw.

Naruto nodded. Itachi had heard them tickling, after all. He clearly wasn't asleep anymore. He kissed Sasuke and began to plant kisses up and down Sasuke's neck, but something was holding Sasuke back. It disturbed him that his brother was so close, and his words from earlier echoed in his mind.

_"You have to use lube!"_

This? Really? He was sure he could tune it out.

_"Anal tearing is no joke."_

Sasuke went stiff, but not in the proper areas. He was sure he could just forget that conversation. After all, his mental fortitude was a strongpoint.

_"Hospitalization."_

"Uh, Sasuke?" Naruto asked, lifting his head back. "You okay there, homeslice?"

Sasuke edged his body away from Naruto subconsciously.

_"Anal tearing."_

"You're such a dork," Sasuke answered.

What was with the lingo?

_"Anal. Tearing."_

And of course, Itachi was right across the hall from them.

"Seriously, Sasuke… What's up?"

"Trust me. You don't want to know."

Naruto frowned.

"I'm sick to my stomach," Sasuke clarified, technically being honest. "Not today."

"You are?" Naruto asked with a frown, flinching away from Sasuke quickly and lying down next to him. "And I was even tickling you and all…"

The way he apologized was so earnest that it made Sasuke feel guilty. It was rather endearing.

"Don't apologize. It doesn't suit you," Sasuke answered with a soft smile.

"Pft. Who says I was apologizing?"

Sasuke grunted, locking his hands and placing them beneath his head.

"Want me to make some toast? It might help you feel better."

"You don't have to do that.

"I won't burn it," Naruto assured, as if that was all Sasuke needed to hear to reconsider.

"Now you're talking nonsense."

"Hey, I'll have you know…"

Naruto was cut off before he could continue.

"I just had lunch with Itachi," Sasuke confessed. At least he was being honest about that much.

"Oh? What'd you guys have? I thought I smelled something good when I woke up."

Sasuke was surprised that hadn't been enough to lure his increasingly restless boyfriend out of the bedroom, though he was thankful for it all the same. How awkward would it have been had Naruto walked in on the two brothers in the midst of The Talk?

"Grilled cheese."

"You're serious?" Naruto asked, his brows knitting together plaintively. "Without me?"

Naruto seemed to blanch in dismay, clearly distraught by the idea that Sasuke and Itachi would dare to eat bread fried in butter with melted, gooey cheese without him. The world could be such an unfair place sometimes.

"You were upstairs."

If only the idiot knew what he had been saved from. Sasuke wasn't sure he'd ever look at grilled cheese the same again without thinking of some of the disturbing medical terminology that he had been so kindly informed of.

It was quiet for several moments.

"Hey, Sasuke..."

"What?" Sasuke responded with a reluctant sigh.

"You should make me a grilled cheese."

"Weren't you the one who offered to cook?" Sasuke asked incredulously.

"But you're not hungry!" Naruto insisted. "No reason for me to starve just 'cuz you already ate."

"Make your own damned grilled cheese."

Sasuke clutched a loose bed pillow in his hand before swinging it directly at the older male's face. Naruto mock gasped.

"Abuse! It's abu-!"

Sasuke shoved the pillow harder, subsequently drowning out his boyfriend's grating voice, causing him to flail about the bed histrionically. He began to croak and reach out his arms, dying a very slow and melodramatic "death" underneath the smothering pillow. Sasuke couldn't believe he'd fallen for this guy. And yet he couldn't shake the sense that things were somehow okay again, at least for now. Naruto had that effect on him.

Naruto ripped the pillow from Sasuke's hands, but didn't return the blow as he'd expected. Blinking suddenly, he was surprised when warm lips met his own in a brief kiss.

"Oi, you're lucky I love you, bastard," Naruto told Sasuke with a grin.

Sasuke just scoffed and rolled his eyes.

Yeah, maybe he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg I've been loving all of the comments!
> 
> For the record, I don't believe that grilled cheese is kid food. That shit's delicious.  
> But then again, I eat French Toast Crunch, sooo...


	53. Chapter 53

It was nine in the morning. Sasuke had woken up at eight, but Naruto’s face was nuzzled into the crook of his neck, and he could feel the soft mist of his breathing. Naruto’s arm wrapped over his chest, and so gently, as to not awaken Naruto, he wrapped his hand around Naruto’s. Sasuke frowned. There would not be many more of these mornings.

Sasuke dozed off again, Sasuke’s cell ringing and waking him up at around ten. Sasuke glanced over at it lazily, fully prepared to ignore it until a familiar number showed on the call ID. It was the Las Haciendas Psychiatric Ward. Sasuke quickly sat up, causing Naruto to groan as he reluctantly met the morning.

“Hey.”

“Dude. It’s today.”

“They’re discharging you?” Sasuke asked, the slightest smile present on his face.

“Yeah. My parents are picking me up. My mom wanted to know if you wanted to come with.”

Sasuke wasn’t sure if he believed that or not and rolled his eyes. Well, maybe Aiko did. But Juugo was probably just making an excuse.

“Sure.”

“They’ll be at your house then in around an hour. Sorry for the short notice, but they just told me this morning.”

“It’s cool. See you.”

The brisk way the two men talked to each other was so like Sasuke. Naruto could see why the two of them were friends. Neither was a man of many words.

“Yeah, see you.”

They hung up. Naruto beamed at Sasuke but felt guilty for the feeling of disappointment gnawing at his gut. He’d had Sasuke every day for months, but _this_ day, this day in particular was special. It was one of the few.

“Cuz he’s as freeee as a biiiiird now…” Naruto began to sing.

“Don’t.”

Sasuke didn’t know how Naruto found the energy for this just seconds after he woke up.

“AND THIS BIRD YOU CANNOT CHA-”

Sasuke whacked Naruto upside the head, rolling his eyes.

“Shove it.”

Naruto smiled that idiot smile.

“You know you love me.”

“I know I’d love you to stop singing.”

“Booooring,” Naruto sing-songed, poking Sasuke in the cheek.

“Do that again and I’ll bite you.”

“Mmm, baby, I don’t mind biting,” Naruto answered with a ridiculously cheesy wink.

Sasuke snickered, but he was smiling.

“Idiot.”

They paused for a few seconds, staring at the ground. Their eyes lazily moved toward each other, but they froze when they caught eye contact. Naruto, for whatever reason, seemed to take this as a victory, his face beaming back at Sasuke. Sasuke just sighed.

“I have to start getting ready.”

“Hm, you need an hour? Pretty boys sure need to primp.”

Sasuke scoffed.

“I need to make breakfast for everyone too.”

“I’ll cook while you get ready,” Naruto told Sasuke, taking his hand in his and rubbing his palm with this thumb. “Spend a few more minutes with me.”

Naruto’s look turned from playful to intimate, earnestly looking back into Sasuke’s eyes. Sasuke’s own expression relaxed. They were both sitting on the edge of the bed now. He turned to face Naruto, gently guiding Naruto’s jaw with his palm and planting a slow and sensual kiss on Naruto’s lips. As his tongue slid over, a nearly inaudible moan slipped from Naruto’s throat.

Sasuke knew that Naruto didn’t want him to leave. But he had an ulterior motive. He hoped, perhaps, that in his boredom, Naruto would seek out the house’s only other resident.

Naruto responded, returning Sasuke’s kiss with the same pace. It wasn’t like their frenzied, needy kisses at the beginning. They relished it, their breathing calm as they continued. Naruto’s hand found Sasuke’s, and Sasuke gripped it, a wordless affirmation of what times like these meant to Sasuke.

The back of Naruto’s hand trailed down Sasuke’s neck. Meanwhile, Sasuke slowly ran his hand through Naruto’s hair, gently massaging the back of his neck. Resting his hand on Sasuke’s chest, Naruto felt Sasuke’s heartbeat. It was a little faster than usual.

They continued to lightly pet each other, Sasuke now planting delicate kisses down Naruto’s neck. Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke. Wordlessly, Sasuke began to lie down on his side, and Naruto joined him, facing Sasuke and looking into his eyes. Seconds passed as they lay there, feeling no need to say anything to each other. A smile was born on Naruto’s face, seemingly out of nowhere, and despite himself, Sasuke smiled back.

“I’ll write you letters,” Naruto told him.

“There’s also such a thing as a train,” Sasuke responded.

He reached out and rested his palm on the side of Naruto’s face, petting his temple with his thumb.

“It’s going to be okay, Naru.”

Naruto stared back at Sasuke uncertainly, a smile breaking out on his face that seemed so forced.

“Of course it’s gonna be! I should probably start breakfast.”

Naruto sat up, throwing on one of Sasuke’s black jackets that lay beside the bed.

“Watcha want to eat?”

Sasuke hadn’t known what to say when Naruto got out of bed. He felt like he should be saying something, but he had never been good with these moments. Naturally, he could talk his way through a meth deal at a drug den, but he had no clue what to say now.

“It doesn’t matter to me.”

“Pancakes!” Naruto answered with a grin. “Now go gussy up, bastard.”

Naruto shut the door behind him and was gone.

* * *

"Sasuke!"

It was Aiko again, and true to form, her hug made his spine crack, quite audibly. The top of Aiko's head, wily reddish-grey hair askew, reached just below Sasuke's chin. The Tenbin's family car had arrived in Sasuke's driveway at exactly eleven this morning.

"You should consider becoming a chiropractor."

Aiko swatted.

"Oh stop, you."

"That wasn't a compliment."

Aiko jabbed Sasuke's forearm with her bony knuckles, the impact easily going through his T-shirt and long sleeved thermal.

"Just get in the car, brat."

Obediently, Sasuke took the back seat of the blue SUV. Aiko and Kou were seated in the front. Kou had even taken off work for today. This was, after all, the day his son was being discharged from the hospital after a full month.

"Juugo will be so pleased to see you, Sasuke!" Aiko chirped. “You know, I thought it was so sad. You guys used to be so close! But then you never came around the house…”

“Aiko…” Kou warned quietly.

“But now look! You’re a really good friend to Juugo, Sasuke. He’s going through a hard time, and… You really make him happy. He really wanted you to come.”

Sasuke was in the back seat, so no one could see the corners of his lips rise, ever so slightly. He was reminded of the days when Juugo had felt like an older brother to him. And Juugo truly did trust him, even admire him. Sasuke was the only one who knew of Juugo's whereabouts besides the school staff and Juugo's parents.

“Juugo told us not to tell him that,” Kou said gruffly.

“Shit! That’s right,” Aiko answered nervously. “You didn’t hear that, okay, Sasuke?”

“Don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Sasuke said.

He was beginning to feel awfully comfortable with Juugo's family, especially now that he had been interacting with Juugo's parents without Juugo present. As insignificant as the fact was, Sasuke felt like some sort of line had been crossed. However, he still sometimes felt as though he were imposing, as though he just didn't belong with this family.

Not much time passed until Aiko spoke again.

"Kou, did you remember to put Juugo's present in the family room?"

"Yes, dear."

Aiko craned her head back to Sasuke, able to show Sasuke this extra attention because Kou was currently the one driving. However, Sasuke wondered if she would have done this even if she were driving. She probably wouldn't have even minded the honking horns.

"We bought him one of those fancy gamer chairs."

"That boy plays too many video games," Kou commented with a sigh, slouching his head to the side. "I don't get it, but I'm glad it makes him happy."

Sometimes Sasuke forgot exactly how old Kou was, nearing seventy years old. Both of Juugo's parents looked young for their age, though Sasuke wondered if his perception was partially influenced by their youthful attitudes.

"We bought him a special one with a butt rumbler and a cup holder. We had to look all over for one big enough! My little boy just keeps on growing, it seems! Sasuke, did you know that he grew another inch in just the past six months?"

Juugo was  _still_  growing? Sasuke had only known Juugo for a couple of years. As Juugo was well over six feet tall when Sasuke met him, he had always towered over Sasuke. It was rather difficult to notice him gaining a couple inches. Sasuke had placed him into the general category of "really fucking tall."

"A butt rumbler?" Sasuke asked, wondering why the hell Juugo's parents would buy him a chair like that.

"Aiko, are you sure…"

"Well, they don't call it that, naturally! But I…sort of gave it a try," Aiko admitted, casting her husband an apologetic look. "I had to make sure it worked well! And really it rumbles your bum a whole bunch."

"Maybe you were too small for it, honey," Kou remarked. He was well-accustomed to his wife's antics and had gotten over being embarrassed by them nearly half a century ago.

"Well, it was meant for people over six feet tall, at the shortest. So that's why I decided to keep it anyway."

The car wasn't silent for much longer than thirty seconds.

"You know, Sasuke, we also bought him Halo 4. And I'm totally gonna kick his ass!"

Halo 4? Juugo's mom actually had an interest in it? Sasuke's parents wouldn't even touch the damned things, besides his mother attempting to learn Super Smash Brothers just to spend more time with Sasuke when he was about eight. She hadn't been very good, but when it came to his mother, Sasuke remarkably found patience.

"You play video games?"

"Hell yes!" Aiko responded enthusiastically. "Who do you think taught Juugo how to play, this old grump?" Aiko grasped Kou's upper arm teasingly. "He won't touch them!"

"You can beat Juugo?"

Even Sasuke had a hard time beating Juugo, and Sasuke was eerily good at video games for as much time as he spent with his nose in his school books.

"Hah! Look what that brat says…" Aiko pointed at Sasuke. "Can I  _beat_  him, he asks! Hah!"

Aiko's offbeat laughter filled the car, starting off like a donkey's bray and slowly bubbling off.

"Seriously?" Sasuke inquired, looking to Kou for confirmation.

"Sasuke, on the battlefield, there is no mother and son," Aiko explained. "Only predator and prey."

"It's true," Kou agreed. "She's lethal."

"And I don't know if I like your tone, Sasuke," Aiko challenged, squinting her eyes lethally. "Are you surprised a little old lady like me knows her way around virtual gaming?"

Sasuke shrugged.

"Perhaps," he answered, an incendiary little half smile on his face.

"I'll have you know that I could have handed your ass to you since 1980. Guess who was the first in her whole neighborhood to get the NES? Huh? I've been beating little snot-nosed kids at video games since before you were born."

"Nice going, Sasuke," Kou grunted.

Yes, it would appear that Sasuke had brought up one of  _those_  subjects. Aiko, unfortunately, had quite a few of them.

"In fact, yeah… You know what, I'm sure of it. I could beat your sorry ass into the ground, Sasuke."

"Is that so?"

Perhaps Sasuke was venturing a little outside of his element here. After all, if Aiko could really consistently beat Juugo like his parents claimed she could, Sasuke might just be in out of his league. Juugo was certainly no joke when it came to gaming, but Sasuke had been a natural from the day he'd first been permitted to operate Itachi's old NES. He could count on one hand the number of times Juugo had beaten him.

"Yes, that is  _so_!" Aiko mocked. "That's it. I'm taking you on."

"Best of luck to you, Aiko," Sasuke answered insouciantly.

Kou merely shook his head and sighed.

"Oh, this is going to be beautiful. Brutal and beautiful," Aiko reveled.

Sasuke didn't know whether she was bluffing or not. Maybe Juugo had just let her win a few times. Juugo seemed like the good-natured sort who would do something like that for his mother, though that theory didn't much explain Kou's reactions. But then again, what did Kou know about video games anyway?

Aiko spoke almost without pause until they arrived at the hospital. Kou was well-practiced at entertaining her with minimal effort; his efficiency was rather awe-inspiring to watch, actually. Kou had a similar temperament to Juugo, so he didn't have a great deal of energy when it came to socializing.

Kou eventually drove the car into the multi-layered, grey parking structure. It was rather depressing to look at, much like the hospital itself. They were forced to park on the fifth floor, squeezed between a pickup truck and an SUV that belonged to drivers who clearly didn't know how to operate their mode of transportation. The structure almost filled to capacity. It made sense that the hospital would be busier come the holiday season. It was a shame that Juugo had spent both Christmas _and_  New Years' in this place, but at least he was leaving now.

The rickety parking structure elevator, made of flimsy metal covered in scratched white paint, very slowly moved down the five floors to ground level. They walked about a football field's length of sidewalk, surrounded by shrubberies, to the psychiatric ward, again sterile and white. The lounge area had a couch and several chairs, as well as a locked and visibly aged baby grand piano. They got off on the second floor, the three of them waiting in front of the nurse's station.

A lanky man approached the microphone which operated through the thick glass. He leaned down and spoke through it.

"Hello. Who are you here for?"

"Tenbin Juugo," Kou answered.

The nurse nodded, letting both of Juugo's parents in. The staff was unwilling to compromise with the two visitor policy, even though Juugo wasn't technically a patient anymore. Sasuke waited behind, lazily organizing the apps on his phone. Finally, the door opened, and Juugo was standing there next to his parents.

"Sasuke?" Juugo asked, his eyes widening as he noticed Sasuke in the hallway. It had been almost two weeks since they'd last seen each other.

Juugo was dressed in a large black T-shirt with a red jacket, which made his bright red hair stand out even more. The tongues of his large skate shoes flopped with each step, especially apparent given that Juugo was a size 13. He'd only mentioned the confiscation of his shoelaces once to Sasuke. It was apparently protocol in places like this.

"Hey,” Juugo said with a wave.

"Hey.”

“How’s your brother today?”

“He’s recovering fast.”

“Glad to hear.”

Their conversation was casual as they walked down the halls, Juugo’s parents slightly behind them. Sasuke glanced behind him as Juugo looked forward, eagerly taking in his surroundings. Sasuke assessed that it was probably similar to how Itachi felt when he left the hospital. He remembered the way that Itachi’s eyes wandered everywhere as Sasuke rolled him out of his room for the first time since he had been admitted.

Aiko seemed too pleased to even speak, which was definitely saying something. Sasuke could've sworn he saw her eyes moisten, and Kou wrapped his arm around her slender waist. Juugo's parents were standing behind him, so unseen to Juugo, Aiko quickly buried her face into her husband's arm, lifted it back up, and wiped her eyes.

Noticing that Sasuke could see her despite his attempts to pretend he didn't, she flashed him a quick reassuring smile. Sasuke just realized how long this month must have seemed to them. This was their only child. How difficult must this have been for Aiko and Kou?

Juugo’s eagerness grew as they took the elevator to the bottom floor, then walked to the lobby, then approached the front door. Sasuke hadn’t seen Juugo smile like this in a long time. The bright sunlight hit them, clear blue skies.

“What a beautiful day…” Juugo mumbled with a smile on his face.

"How's freedom feel?" Kou asked. Juugo's parents looked ecstatic.

"Pretty good," Juugo shrugged. "I'm taking a twenty minute shower when I get home."

Right. Juugo had told Sasuke that they only gave him five minutes at Las Haciendas.

"That's fine, honey," Aiko told him, the lot of them now waiting for the parking structure elevator. She gave Juugo an extra hug, and there went his spine. Not even Juugo was immune.

"Okay, okay," Juugo replied. "Thanks, Mom."

_Ding._

They boarded the elevator.

"So," Aiko announced. "Sasuke has challenged me to a video game match."

Juugo glanced over at Sasuke, shaking his head.

"Shit, I never warned you?"

"Warned me about what?"

Aiko began to cackle.

"You'll see, I guess," Juugo sighed.

This was all starting to sound rather sinister to him. Maybe Aiko just got a little overly excited playing video games. A lot of shouting and swearing, Sasuke was sure of it. It was probably enough to damage one's sense of hearing. He shrugged off Juugo's comment as they left the elevator.

Once they reached the car, Sasuke took the seat behind Aiko, and Juugo sat behind his father. Juugo's body took up a good half of the middle seat. Juugo's eyes kept looking over the car, and he smiled serenely when his father started up the car and pulled out of the parking space. Juugo had been waiting for this for weeks.

But he was still quiet on the drive, taking everything in. Aiko kept conversation moving, but even she fell silent after a while.

"Juugo, is something wrong?" she asked, concerned face tilting back to Juugo.

"No. It's just that I'm not used to moving this fast," Juugo said as he leaned on his door, looking out the window.

"Feel strange to be in a moving car?" Kou inquired.

Right. It had been a full month since Juugo had last been in a moving vehicle. It probably was a little disconcerting after such a long time.

"A little."

"You're not carsick, are you?"

Aiko's voice was again worried.

"No, I like it. You don't have to worry about me."

Sasuke gave Juugo a quick glance out of the corner of his eye, which Juugo thankfully did not notice. He did look a little reserved, like he was distracted by a thought. Aiko was remarkably toned down for the rest of the car ride. Sasuke hadn't previously known she was even capable of this.

Sasuke was glad when they finally arrived at the Tenbin household. Juugo took a deep breath in when they crossed the threshold, remembering the scent of his home. It had become oddly unfamiliar to him. Juugo soon discovered a huge Christmas present in their family room, fully wrapped. There was even a Christmas tree in the room, lit and ready. Sasuke wondered if Juugo's parents had done this just for him. Besides each other, who else would have been around to appreciate it? Juugo seemed pleased when he saw it.

"You guys… I didn't get to buy you anything for Christmas."

Juugo sounded apologetic, as if he'd even had the option.

"That's fine! My birthday's around the corner, Juugo," Aiko answered cheekily.

"Don't worry about it," Kou added. "I'm just happy you're home."

Sasuke, Aiko, and Kou all took a seat on the family room couch as Juugo sat next to the present on the floor. The sight of Juugo on the floor with his present made Juugo look strangely young to Sasuke, despite the fact that Juugo had both three years and almost a foot of height on him.

"Sasuke, did you know about this?"

Juugo had already received most of his Christmas presents while he was in the hospital, so he hadn't been expecting more.

"I only found out this morning."

Juugo untaped the wrapping paper patiently, removing it so neatly that it could have probably been reused. The chair was a large rectangular box, reaching just above Juugo's head when he sat down. He soon had it unwrapped.

"Nice! Thanks, guys," Juugo said, looking at both of his parents.

Even though it was already January, this scenario reminded Sasuke of Christmas. Juugo's parents were using a real tree for Christmas. Sasuke could smell the pine across the room. Aiko retreated to the kitchen, only to bring out another Christmas present wrapped in maroon paper with small green trees, a square box about the size of a basketball. What could possibly be in it?

"This one is for you, Sasuke," Aiko told him cheerfully.

Sasuke blinked, sitting up a little straighter and unable to hide his surprise. He hadn't expected Juugo's parents to buy him a Christmas present. They hadn't last year, after all, but then again, they hadn't really been in contact at the time. Sasuke had sort of dropped into obscurity.

"But…" he protested quietly. He hadn't gotten them anything either. Clearly, Juugo's parents could read Sasuke's thoughts.

"After all you've done for my son? Honey, please."

"It's the least we could do, Sasuke," Kou added.

They were also going to pay him for tutoring Juugo. While it was very kind of them to offer Sasuke so much support, it was beginning to make him feel like a pity case, which didn't sit well with his sense of pride. He knew that Juugo's parents genuinely did like him, but he hoped that he didn't seem  _that_  helpless.

He didn't want to go around accepting handouts, but it was Christmas after all… And Sasuke had, admittedly done a lot for Juugo. He wouldn't feel guilty about accepting this, he decided. He could always get back at Aiko and Kou next Christmas.

Sasuke's method of unwrapping gifts was similar to Juugo's. Unbent sheets of wrapping paper were neatly placed to the side, each on top of the other. He eventually opened up the box to reveal a three month subscription to Xbox Live with a keychain attached, along with an Xbox 360.

"We thought that with Juugo homeschooling, you boys could talk to each other over this," Aiko said warmly. "We already gave Juugo a subscription and a headset for Christmas, so you're all ready."

The only problem was that Sasuke didn't own an Xbox 360. He used to, before the fire.

"Sasuke, my nephew didn't want his Xbox 360 anymore," Juugo explained, seeming to have read Sasuke’s mind. Sasuke glanced back at him skeptically. What was he implying? They weren't really going to give him an Xbox 360 for Christmas, were they? Was this just an excuse to get Sasuke to accept such a large present? He knew the man was in his late thirties. Since Juugo's parents were in their fifties when Juugo was conceived, and Juugo's parents were the youngest of all their siblings, all of Juugo's nieces and nephews were significantly older than him. Still, who in their right mind discarded an Xbox, age be damned?

"I know," Juugo sighed. "He's clearly losing his marbles. But we decided to just give it to you, since I already have one. I have an extra download on some of my games, so you can take that."

Sasuke sat there mutely, unsure of what exactly to say. This was probably the largest Christmas he'd received since his parents passed, and it came from the most unlikely place. The brothers couldn't afford much these days. Sasuke was already looking forward to playing all the new games he'd have at his disposal.

"What's the matter, Sasuke? No witty comment for once?" Aiko teased.

That guilt was beginning to return again. The Tenbin family had outdone themselves, and he hadn't even bought them anything. Then again, he had no reason to expect that they were going to buy him something either. Yes, he'd get them back for it later. Certainly. So he merely smiled at Juugo and his parents.

"Thanks, guys."

"Of course, Sasuke," Aiko said warmly.

"Merry Christmas, kiddos," Kou pitched in.

Sasuke got off of the couch and joined Juugo on the floor, helping him gather up all of the wrapping paper. He was oddly enough reminded of his Christmases with Itachi, when they both had been much younger. Juugo's parents looked at each other and smiled back at Sasuke and Juugo, apparently quite content.

"Well, I'll leave you two boys to catch up. Juugo, dinner is at seven."

Juugo nodded.

"Thanks for the chair again, guys."

"Yeah, thanks," Sasuke added.

"Merry Christmas," Juugo's parents both told them in unison.

Juugo and Sasuke briskly ascended the stairs, walking into Juugo's bedroom. Juugo was the first to come in, opening the door for Sasuke and closing it behind him. Without speaking, both of them sat down on the edge of Juugo's queen sized bed, resting on the blue plaid with an arm's length between them. It was routine for them, and they savored another couple minutes of silence.

"Damn, being here again feels so weird," Juugo mumbled.

His room had been cleaned very neatly, though it wasn't as though Juugo were messy by any stretch. His games were all set in a neat stack by his television, his bed was made perfectly, and everything had been dusted. Sasuke was especially appreciative of the dusting, which made the room look as if it could have very believably been occupied just yesterday.

"Too familiar or not enough?"

"Kind of both, actually," Juugo mused, his eyes set on his lap as his fingers fiddled with each other. "It feels like the ward was all a dream, and I never even left. Everything's how I left it. But then again, it feels like I've been gone forever."

Sasuke could claim that he knew what that felt like, and to some extent, he did. But considering the circumstance, Sasuke didn't believe he was in a position to understand what was going on in Juugo's head.

"Sounds like a trip."

"Yeah…" Juugo sighed, shaking his head. "I never would have guessed that when I left for school that day, I wouldn't be coming back here for a month. They took me straight from school."

Sasuke nodded but didn't speak. Juugo didn't seem to need a response, gazing at the ground between his knees while deep in thought.

"Hey, Sasuke…"

"Hm?"

"Thanks."

"For what?" Sasuke asked, leaning back onto his hands on the bed. His back was beginning to ache. Scooting back on the bet, he rested the toes of his shoes on the carpet.

"For sticking with me through everything."

Sasuke shook his head, sighing.

"Despite common belief, I do have some scruples."

"A lot of people would have just run off," Juugo mumbled, his voice beginning to sound rather morose. "You know, who wants a friend that's a…"

Sasuke lifted his hand to halt Juugo's speech. He knew just what rubbish was about to leave Juugo's mouth, and neither of the boys needed to hear that.

"I'm stopping you there. Those people wouldn't have deserved your friendship anyway."

Sasuke looked away as he complimented Juugo, feeling a little uncomfortable. After all, it wasn't in Sasuke's practice to say these things, even if he was thinking them anyhow.

"Well, still, thanks. You were really cool about it."

Sasuke shrugged.

"It's not an act of charity. I was just hanging out with my friend."

"I get it, whatever," Juugo acquiesced, smiling at Sasuke. He tended to be stubborn when it came to accepting compliments like this.

"Well, you'll never to have to see me somewhere like that again," Juugo continued with a deep frown on his face, narrowing his eyes. "I decided that I'm never going back to that place again."

Sasuke lofted one thin brow, comfortably leaning on his side now.

"You know?"

"I know."

They were silent again, both of them digesting the current conversation wordlessly. Despite the gravity of the topic, both of their postures were relaxed. Sasuke genuinely hoped that Juugo was right.

"How?" Sasuke asked tentatively.

If it had been most anyone else, Sasuke wouldn't have asked this question. But because he was genuinely concerned about Juugo, he wanted to know.

"Because they're so fed up with me that they wouldn't even let me past the door," Juugo told Sasuke with a stubborn grin.

"Punk," Sasuke scoffed, jabbing at Juugo's upper arm. He supposed that Juugo could hardly even feel it. Juugo grabbed Sasuke's fist, jerking it to the side playfully.

"No, seriously… Maybe it's that we're changing approaches, or maybe just the meds, but… Call it a gut feeling. I think I'm going to be okay now."

Despite the fact that Sasuke didn't believe that "gut feelings" had much predictive power in situations like this, he smiled. He loved the optimism in Juugo's voice. He supposed that what Juugo wanted was for Sasuke to have faith in him. But Sasuke didn't see returning to that place as a failure on Juugo's part; it wasn't a matter of faith.

Sasuke read a book titled  _The Bell Jar_  for English class this year. It was a quasi-autobiographical roman a clef about some woman who was sent to an asylum in the 1950's. Sasuke wrote an essay about a quote where the narrator compared her illness to being placed under an isolating bell jar. "How did I know that someday—at college, in Europe, somewhere, anywhere—the bell jar, with its stifling distortions, wouldn't descend again?"

It sounded like the woman had hardly any say in the matter of her sanity, her illness announcing itself at will. At one point, the narrator said that she would never go to the asylum again, just like Juugo had just said. "I knew you'd decide to be alright again," the narrator's mother responded. And then all hell broke loose. Fiction is fiction for a reason, but the author killed herself only one month after the book was published. Perhaps she really did know what she was talking about, Sasuke mused.

Maybe Juugo was different. He wasn't insane, after all. Still, things like this seemed to have an element of unpredictability. But maybe Juugo really did know something he didn't. Sasuke decided to just roll with it.

"Alright."

Juugo knew Sasuke well enough to know what he meant. The man stood up, towering over Sasuke, who was still lying back on his bed.

"Well, I'm going to take that twenty minute shower I was talking about earlier."

Juugo walked over to his closet and browsed through the clothing, picking out a green T-shirt and a much better fitting pair of blue jeans. Juugo tossed Sasuke the remote control to the TV. This was established routine with these two.

"When I get back, I want to go out somewhere."

"Any ideas?" Sasuke asked casually.

"None. I just want to stretch my legs and go somewhere on my own damned volition. I'll go wherever you want to go."

"You've already contradicted yourself."

"Dammit, Sasuke," Juugo laughed. "You know I'm bad at decisions. Just do me a solid and think something up."

"Whatever, fine," Sasuke huffed. Juugo ruffled Sasuke's hair as he smiled down at him, which suddenly made Sasuke feel much younger as he sulked up at Juugo. Juugo quickly left the room for his bathroom out in the hallway. In just several seconds, Sasuke heard the water running.

He couldn't really blame Juugo for wanting to get out. He'd been cooped up for such a long time that it would have even bothered Sasuke. Still, Sasuke wasn't generally the best at planning outings. He was generally the one being dragged to these things, but he supposed that for Juugo, he'd take the bullet.

* * *

 

Naruto lay down on Sasuke's bed, staring at the ceiling just like he had been for the past thirty minutes. He hadn't foreseen the day going like this. He thought he'd clean the room and surprise Sasuke, cook for Itachi and him some impressive meal, or maybe read that  _Catch-22_  book Sasuke had been paging through. But Naruto found that once Sasuke left the house, all he wanted to do was just lie there.

Itachi was napping, but he was sure to let Itachi know that he'd be ready if he ever needed him. He took in Sasuke's room, every band poster, the position of every piece of furniture. He only had three nights left in this room, so he wanted to remember it. He wouldn't call Sasuke's cell phone, even though the temptation was strong, announcing itself every couple minutes.

He wanted Sasuke to enjoy himself with his friend, but a more selfish part of him wanted Sasuke to get home as soon as possible. He was having trouble controlling his thoughts, and it was becoming miserable. With Sasuke present, he would have at least had a distraction and a good motivation to fake normal. If he hadn't needed to watch Itachi, he would have just gone to the labor center rather than staying at home dreading the future. But was this really home?

There was a quick rap at the door.

"Come in," Naruto said, his voice sounding far more dejected than he'd wanted it to. He'd have to fix that.

Itachi was in his pajamas, the maroon plaid pants still much too big for him. He still had a lot of weight to gain. He'd brushed his hair, however, and had already gotten to tying it up.

"Hi, Naruto. How are you doing?"

"Happier than a corgi on stilts. You?"

Naruto was grinning at Itachi, who smiled back softly. Naruto considered the fact that Itachi wasn't buying his act.

"I'm doing well. Thanks."

Itachi's polite tone led to a rather awkward silence, Naruto peering up at Itachi as he stood at Naruto's doorway.

"Hey, you wouldn't want to get out of here, would you?" Itachi asked, tilting his head as he glanced at Naruto inquisitively.

"Would I ever," Naruto admitted with a sigh and a smile.

"We need a few things at the grocery store."

Naruto pondered this for a while, remembering now that Itachi hadn't left the house even once since he'd come home from the hospital.

"Are you sure it's okay to go out?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"I mean…uh…" Naruto stammered.

"Oh, you're worried about my stomach? It's fine."

"You don't…suppose we could ask Sasuke first, do you?"

Itachi sighed, slumping against the door frame.

"Why would I need to ask my little brother’s permission?"

That frustrated tone, especially coming from Itachi, almost made Naruto want to laugh. Despite the fact that Itachi was Sasuke's legal guardian, they were still, most certainly, brothers.

"Hey, it's nothing personal," Naruto clarified as he gestured defensively. "I just don't want to listen to his bitching if he decides it was a bad idea."

Itachi rolled his eyes with a begrudging smile. His brother could be quite the nag, it turned out. Here he thought that he would hold that position, and it was so rare that Sasuke actually surprised him. Though to be fair, it only came out when Sasuke was worried, which Sasuke had good cause for in this case. Otherwise, he didn't care what other people did. Of course, Sasuke only worried about a select few, so perhaps his scolding could be regarded as a rather inconvenient badge of honor.

"Fine. I'll text him."

"Naruto wants to make sure it's okay to take me to the grocery store," Itachi typed into his cell phone screen.

Very quickly, Sasuke texted back a simple, "Yes?"

Itachi slid the phone out in front of Naruto.

"He has been appeased," Itachi announced.

"We are saved from his wrath. …For now."

"We'll start building bomb shelters in preparation for round two."

Naruto laughed. Itachi was such a good sport compared to Sasuke. Dammit, he wished that he'd gotten to know Itachi earlier. It would've been possible, had he not been taking every possible precaution to  _avoid_  the man. Sasuke was right. He was a pretty cool older brother.

"I'll go back to my room and get dressed. When do you want to leave?"

"I can be ready in five minutes," Naruto said quickly.

"Hm… Let's make it fifteen."

"Deal," Naruto beamed, giving Itachi a big thumbs up in agreement. Itachi smiled at Naruto again before shutting the door quietly behind him.

As soon as Naruto heard the knob click, he allowed his face to relax into a slight frown. Itachi saw right through him. Itachi knew he was in the bedroom moping all day, and he knew exactly why. Itachi had some sort of intuition… Naruto could tell he just knew these things. But still, he was flattered that Itachi cared enough to do something about it. He'd only met the man four days ago.

Knowing that he'd have at least five minutes to spare, Naruto bummed around in his pajamas and checked his e-mail. He didn't even know why he'd bothered to make an account, although Sasuke had been kind enough not to question it. Who would e-mail him? But he did get a coupon for a free bowl of chili from Red Robin once. He supposed that was something.

Naruto quickly put on a maroon shirt and one of Sasuke's favorite pairs of blue jeans. They were well worn. When Naruto had first arrived, he'd only been able to properly fit Sasuke's smallest clothes that Sasuke had outgrown over the past year, though this didn't keep him from begging for the baggy stuff out of familiarity. Evidently, Sasuke was in the middle of quite the growth spurt. And so was Naruto, apparently. There were several pieces of Sasuke's old clothing that he couldn't even fit his body into anymore. He supposed that proper nutrition could do that to a growing boy…er, man.

Naruto reassured himself for a moment that he was  _not_  getting fat and then felt like an idiot for even needing to do this to begin with. He was not fat, and if he was, he was sure Sasuke was enough of a dick to let him know about it. Maybe all the cheap pastas and breads they'd had to eat lately weren't the best for someone's figure, but he practiced calisthenics and weight training for a reason. He'd filled out now, and if he didn't know any better, he packed one hell of a punch.

Fully dressed, he stared into the mirror. Sasuke had just worn this outfit just last week, and it fit Naruto almost perfectly. Perhaps the jeans were just a little too long for him, but the waistband was perfect. Naruto smoothed his hand down his stomach, feeling where his ribs ended. There used to be quite the gap between his ribs and his waist, but now they lined up fairly evenly.

He vaguely remembered the way he'd looked when he put on that red party dress in the fitting room while Sasuke waited for him. Though the dress was form-fitting, it didn't even touch his stomach. His ribs poked through the fabric, knobby elbows protruding. He could hardly believe that the handsome guy taking up the mirror in front of him used to look like  _that_. He flexed a bicep and kissed the muscle underneath, flashing himself a cheesy grin. Those bicep curls were _totally_  worth it.

"Ready whenever you are," Itachi announced, giving a quick and casual wrap on the bedroom door.

This caused Naruto to quickly jerk into reality, blushing at the fact that Itachi could have seriously walked in just now and caught him kissing his own arm. Now wouldn't  _that_  be humiliating. He wondered, momentarily, if Itachi was evil enough to blackmail him by threatening to tell Sasuke. Itachi seemed pretty nice, but then again, Naruto got the vibe that the guy could be downright wicked if he wanted to be. After all, Sasuke had told him a few things about the brothers' "prankster phase."

Thankfully, Itachi had plenty of respect for that sometimes all too unfamiliar concept of  _knocking_.

"Ready!" Naruto called back eagerly. He met Itachi at the top of the stairway, walking a couple steps in front of him, just as Itachi had instructed him to do the first time. Only now, Itachi hardly needed it. He moved down the stairs slowly and deliberately, never pausing even once. Itachi showed a remarkable amount of recovery from day to day.

"Hey, you're really getting the hang of this."

"If I want to run eight miles straight next year, learning to walk down a flight of stairs would be a good start."

Naruto chuckled, not bothering to offer Itachi his hand. He knew Itachi would have rather done without it.

"I bet you'll run ten."

They walked towards the car, Itachi sitting in the driver's seat as Naruto swung around the maroon Toyota. Itachi cranked the ignition as soon as Naruto had his seatbelt on, jerkily backing up.

"Give me a few seconds," Itachi said rather sheepishly. "I have to relearn my car a little bit here, but I'll be good soon."

And Itachi was right. For less than a minute, Itachi's driving was slightly jerky, accelerating or applying the brake either too slowly or too quickly. Naruto had had worse, however. Driving with his drunken foster dad had literally about killed him. In a very short time, Itachi's driving became perfectly fluid.

"If you don't drive for a long time, it starts feeling a little unnatural," Itachi explained, his eyes on the road. "But it's like riding a bike."

"I drove once before."

"Did you?" Itachi asked as he flipped on his left turn signal, getting into the turn lane.

"Yeah. In a big parking lot."

"How did it go?"

Naruto laughed a little, rather nervously scratching at his hair.

"Well… I didn't hit anyone."

They were silent as they covered another mile. Driving came effortlessly to Itachi now.

"Hey, Itachi…"

They'd just gotten past a quick red light, straight road ahead of them.

"Yeah?"

"Wherever I'm going to… Do you think they'd teach me to drive?"

Naruto hadn't talked much about about what was going to happen after he was taken to the police station. Itachi was glad to hear that he was looking towards the future.

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Are you gonna teach Sasuke how to drive?"

Itachi tilted his head to the side, thinking. Who else would teach him? Wasn't this his duty as Sasuke's guardian?

"I plan to. But Sasuke needs to get his permit first."

"I think he's already studying for it. He already read the driver's handbook."

Itachi nodded quietly, appearing somewhat guilty at this admission. Perhaps he felt badly that he very often didn't know what his brother was doing. Sasuke hadn't even told Itachi, probably because Itachi tended to have so much on his plate anyhow.

"I only know because I'm in his room all the time," Naruto added quickly, picking up on Itachi's change in demeanor.

"I'll have to take him to the DMV, in that case. I'm nearly well enough."

They'd already arrived at the grocery store. It was a short drive. The store was cheap, but it was small. Naruto figured that Itachi didn't want his first outing to take him too far from home, especially given that Naruto couldn't drive. This was probably wise.

The store was playing soft '80s music, just a little bit too loudly. The aisles were narrow, but there weren't many people there.

"Cart or basket?" Naruto asked, gesturing towards a tower of baskets and a long line of carts.

"Up to you. We're not buying all that much."

Naruto picked up a basket, hanging it on his right arm. They walked down the liquor aisle, simply because it was the fastest way to the dairy section. They selected a bag of generic shredded cheddar cheese, passing a nearby Lunchables.

"Sasuke used to love these," Itachi stated nostalgically, gesturing towards the prepackaged meal. It had a few slices of bologna, some crackers, a sugary Caprisun drink, and a few cookies.

"Me too! But I could hardly ever get them. They used to be so expensive."

Itachi nodded.

"Sasuke didn't have much luck either, more because those meals hardly have any nutrients. Our parents only gave them to him a few times."

"It's not like Sasuke to crave such unhealthy food," Naruto pondered.

"Sasuke was only about six. Kids don't tend to go after healthy stuff that age, but he'd still eat raw vegetables since he was a toddler."

Naruto laughed, putting a quart of milk in the basket at Itachi's request. Naruto had always been curious about Sasuke's childhood. What little Sasuke told him had been what adults consider the big things. One brother. Two parents. His father was a corporate accountant, and he was rather demanding. His mom was a housewife. She was compassionate and quiet but not a pushover. He lived in the same house up until the age of fourteen.

Of course, Naruto wanted to know these things. They were very simple and basic facts. Yet Sasuke didn't tell Naruto so many of the things he wanted to know, like what Sasuke did for fun, what bands he listened to, words he used to mix up as a little kid, when he stopped believing in Santa, and what his favorite animal was. Just now, it occurred to him that the man standing next to him probably knew the answer to all of these questions.

"Yeah, that sounds like Sasuke, alright."

"We need a head of lettuce," Itachi stated, gesturing towards the lettuce. Naruto took one quickly and put it in his cart.

"Was he always so goddamned practical?"

Itachi knew that Naruto wasn't quite getting at "practical."

"He always worked hard in school and never had a silly sense of humor. He played games with the neighborhood kids and wrote songs on the guitar, even though Dad thought it was a waste of time. He was pretty sociable and well-liked as a kid."

Naruto nodded. He had never seen Sasuke play the guitar, but he would have loved it.

"What kind of games did he play with the neighbors?"

"Tag and cops and robbers were a couple of his favorites. Ah, and Simon says."

"I loved all of those!" Naruto stated cheerfully. "Man, I wish Sasuke would still do stuff like that. He's so uptight."

Itachi frowned, resting his hand on one of his pockets by his thumb.

"And he always will be. Though I think in those regards, the person who's gotten him to change the most is you."

Itachi reached for a small container of Greek yogurt, placing it into the basket hangings from Naruto's forearm. Naruto couldn't help but smile at the compliment, looking down with uncharacteristic modesty. He felt his cheeks grow warm, and he  _prayed_  that he wasn't blushing.

"It's difficult to imagine Sasuke playing tag."

"Yes, but he plays basketball, doesn't he?"

Naruto nodded silently. He'd never seen Sasuke play basketball, but he'd heard about it. Although he hadn't been playing recently, it was still an interest of his.

"Is that really so different?" Itachi asked.

It was interesting, when he thought of it that way. Basketball involves more strategy and rules than tag, but at its core, it's still a game. He remembered Sasuke's love for astronomy and the way he'd memorized the histories behind all of the constellations. In some ways, Sasuke wasn't so different from his childhood self.

"So, like… You probably know the most of anyone about Sasuke's childhood, huh?"

"You could say that."

Naruto quieted, looking around him to make sure no one was nearby.

"Got any dirt on him?"

Itachi recoiled slightly, raising his brow and giving Naruto an odd look.

"What?"

"You know. Embarrassing childhood stories."

A wicked little smile, barely visible, appeared on Itachi's face, and he glanced over at Naruto.

"Even if I did, why would I be obliged to tell you?"

Naruto huffed, his eyes again staring at his shoes, which technically belonged to Sasuke. They were one size too small for him.

"Think of it this way… Don't tell Sasuke I said this, but I do embarrassing things all the fucking time, and Sasuke never does. And to me that's just really,  _really_  unfair."

Itachi's expression didn't change as he stated matter-of-factly, "You're trying to appeal to my sympathies and get me to level the playing field?"

"I humbly implore thee," Naruto pleaded in a very meek voice.

"Sorry," came the curt reply. "Barter system only."

"For the love of…" Naruto pulled at his hair theatrically, stamping his foot in frustration before looking back at the man. " _Really_ , Itachi?"

"Really."

"I'll make you scrambled eggs tonight," Naruto sing-songed.

"You're asking me to betray my own flesh and blood for scrambled eggs?" Itachi responded with mock disgust.

"I'll make them extra fluffy?" Naruto added in, his eyes squinting as his voice took little higher inflection at the end of that question than he'd intended.

"What do you take me for?" Itachi answered with a sinister calm, reaching for some cheese. "I have standards."

Naruto grumbled a few inaudible sentiments to himself. Neither Naruto nor Itachi knew what he was actually saying. What did he have that would be of value to Itachi? Perhaps… Influence.

"I know! I'll get Sasuke to stay home from school next time he's sick."

Itachi paused for a moment, looking over at Naruto with an arched brow.

"You can really do that?"

Naruto's molars made an appearance as he grinned widely. Success.

"I've done it before."

"You better not be bullshitting me."

Itachi stared down his nose at Naruto, and Naruto didn't know whether Itachi was being serious or not.

"Nope."

"Okay…" Itachi sighed. He still looked skeptical, but Naruto was so eager for him to start talking that he was ready to jump out of his skin. "When Sasuke's hamster died, when he was about five… He might or might not have refused to get out of bed all day and then told tell my mother to tell our school principal to pardon his absence because there had been a death in the family."

Naruto guffawed, trying to imagine this in vivid detail. The only thing lacking was that he'd never seen any pictures of Sasuke before the age of fourteen. He wondered if they even existed.

"Oh my God, really?"

"He could be quite dramatic as a child."

Naruto was still laughing.

"To be fair, dude, you  _did_  kill that hamster."

"What?" Itachi quickly shot back.

Shit… He wasn't supposed to say that, was he? It wasn't really Sasuke's fault… They had been right at Mr. Squooble's grave, so the situation kind of lent to it.

"Oops," Naruto blurted out very starkly.

"He told you that?"

"Well…" Naruto said sheepishly. "It sort of came up in conversation."

"It was an accident," Itachi told him, his speech frustrated and pressured. "I put the hamster out on the lawn on the wrong day, and pesticide had been sprayed."

Naruto had never heard Itachi sound so defensive, which wasn't saying much given that he'd only been speaking to him for about four days. Naruto thought it sounded too trivial to actually care about, but Itachi seemed to feel genuinely guilty.

"He told me that too. It was just an honest mistake."

Itachi shook his head, still not placated and out for revenge.

"Sasuke went through a Spice Girls phase."

It was only now that Naruto realized that by accidentally pissing Itachi off, he'd unwittingly served his own purposes.

"No fucking way."

"He would shamelessly blast 'Wannabe' from his bedroom. He  _insisted_  that it was classic rock."

Naruto started cackling, causing a woman with her child to glance over at the two of them curiously and then return to her tasks. This was really too rich. Itachi was a gold mine.

"To be fair," Itachi acknowledged with a shrug of his shoulders, "He was seven years old."

"I thought he had better taste than that!"

"And who do you think was responsible for that?"

Naruto froze, his laughter ceasing. Itachi? No. Itachi couldn't possibly like  _that_  type of music.

"No  _way_. You like Led Zeppelin?"

Itachi stared at him dully for several seconds, getting his cell phone out of his pocket and opening up the media section. He plopped it into Naruto's left hand. Nirvana, Motley Crue, Avenged Sevenfold, and yes, Led Zeppelin. Songs by the dozens.

Itachi spoke as Naruto stared down at the screen in wonder, "what did you expect me to like?"

"I don't know," Naruto admitted, laughing again. Itachi was beginning to realize how often Naruto did this when he was nervous. "Classical music?"

"I can appreciate that."

Itachi was so brilliant in school, so polished. He was a literal genius, actually. His wardrobe was mature and professional. Naruto had just put a bunch of stereotypes together. He'd assumed that Itachi just listened to Chopin's nocturnes with similar-minded friends, who would talk about things like baroque style's influence on Mozart.

Now that he thought of it, Itachi was only twenty-two years old. He was six years older than Naruto, but Itachi's maturity sometimes caused Naruto to feel like they hailed from different generations. Yet if situations had been different, Naruto and Itachi could've even gone to school together.

"Any other embarrassing phases I should know about, then?"

"Yes, but it'll to cost you."

Naruto sighed, shaking his head.

"Are you seriously trying to bargain me into watching over your brother?"

"Maybe a little," Itachi conceded nonchalantly.

Naruto focused, no longer smiling or jesting. He was serious when he spoke next.

"You don't have to do that, you know."

"No…" Itachi stated with a mellow smile. "I suppose not."

"'Course not," Naruto answered, his strides growing longer and more confident. "I'll do it no matter what anyone has to say about it, Sasuke included."

"My brother is a lucky man."

Naruto felt his cheeks take on a sanguine shade, feeling rather flustered by the compliment. They were in the cereal aisle now. It was empty.

"Well… Someone's gotta take care of that bastard. He's too stupid to do it for himself."

"Yes," Itachi admitted. "He is."

Naruto grinned, taking his victories where he could. Just as Itachi was about to tell Naruto to put some wheat squares in the basket, Naruto did it himself, knowing that it was Sasuke's favorite cereal. And so the silence continued until Itachi finally spoke again, several seconds later.

"Sasuke doesn't always know what's good for him. He pushes himself too hard. In a more general sense, he gets tunnel vision and loses his insight. I can't be there all the time. Keep him grounded for me, will you?"

"Okay," Naruto answered.

"One last thing…" Itachi seemed to have trouble speaking now, choosing his words carefully. His voice had nearly become a whisper. "He doesn't often show it, but… He's still wounded pretty badly. He doesn't let me in on much so as not to worry me. But if you can…"

Naruto smiled back at him, modestly and reassuringly.

"Okay."

"And in return, I'll watch out for you."

Naruto rolled his eyes, laughing again.

"You really are a businessman, aren't you?"

"A vice, admittedly."

Naruto wondered, momentarily, if Itachi was only helping him out because he helped Sasuke. It wasn't as though he could blame him, if this were the case. They'd only known each other a matter of days. But then again, Itachi had told him quite directly, "I am personally indebted to you."

"Hey, Itachi…"

"Yes?"

"Do you like me?" Naruto asked, soon after realizing that this sounded a little strange. He stammered as he corrected himself. "I mean, as a person."

"To be honest, Naruto, I haven't known you for very long," Itachi stated coolly. Sasuke was the same way. They didn't seem to be the sorts to let their guards down very soon. That sort of rapport took time and trust. "But from everything I have observed, you're a good kid, and you've done a lot of good for Sasuke. So of course I'd like you."

Naruto tried not to look so pleased by Itachi's response but failed miserably. Naruto wasn't exactly a difficult person to read, Itachi pondered. But something about being with him uplifted his mood in a way he couldn't readily explain.

"You're not so bad yourself," Naruto replied, grinning at him widely.

"I never asked," Itachi responded with a crooked smile.

"See, comments like these…" Naruto said, pointing at Itachi. "They remind me that you guys are related."

* * *

 

Sasuke was gaining momentum as he swung down the half pipe on Juugo's old, splintered board, the cool ocean breeze whipping him in the face. Juugo came the opposite way, leaning into his knees as he reached the bottom of the pipe. Sasuke had lost the coin flip, so he was given the thrashed board.

Sasuke thought that this would be a good choice for Juugo. The skate park overlooked the Pacific Ocean, cloudless sunlight pouring down around them. Other than all of the people walking around in thick jackets, the climate looked as though it could have been tropical. There were dozens of palm trees around them, their view overlooking a rocky crag in the distance. To Sasuke, quite honestly, the view was worth about as much as the half pipe.

Back when Juugo and Sasuke hung out more often, they used to frequent this skate park. Sasuke had been mediocre at best when he had met Juugo, but Juugo was able to teach him a few tricks. Sasuke was coordinated, which resulted from both natural talent and a carryover from all of his other athletic endeavors, so he learned quickly.

Still, he couldn't land a 5-0 grind like Juugo could, twisting in the air with surprising compactness, given the size of his body. Sasuke had gotten down grinding, and he could pull off a manual for about ten seconds, coasting on solely on the back wheels of his skateboard. That was about the extent of his skill. Yet he opted for the skate park because he knew Juugo, who was much more at home here, would enjoy it.

"Sasuke, want me to teach you how to do a 360 flip?" Juugo shouted, his voice lost to both the wind and his momentum.

"A what?" Sasuke shouted back.

"Watch."

Juugo steered so that he moved down through bottom of the half pipe, losing some of his speed. When he, jumped up. The board moved with him, doing a complete 360 rotation under his feet until Juugo landed on it again. Sasuke had seen him, but there was no way in hell he was doing that.

"I'll pass."

Juugo kicked up his board and walked off of the half pipe, gesturing Sasuke to follow. He reluctantly did the same, kicking up his board and walking over to Juugo. Juugo skated down the sidewalk, which had a slight downwards grade.

"C'mon, just put your front foot back like you're doing a kickflip."

Sasuke followed him down the sidewalk, trailing just behind him.

"Tilt your back foot up, then move your front foot forward. Then pop and spin at the same time."

He was trying to concentrate on what Juugo was saying, but he'd stopped being able to visualize this about three instructions in. They were still rolling forward on the sidewalk next to each other, slowly.

"Then kick your front foot forward and out like a kick flip."

Sasuke was beyond lost, at this point. And Juugo claimed to be stupid? God…

"Oh, is that all?" Sasuke muttered under his breath, too quietly for Juugo to hear.

"Just jump above the board, then just wait for it to land in the right place. Watch it and land with your knees bent. Like this."

And Juugo pulled it off again, flawlessly. Sasuke kicked up his board and held it as he watched Juugo.

"Now you try."

"No."

"Hm? Why not?"

Sasuke sulked. He didn't want to say he couldn't, but really… A trick like this was far beyond his skill level. He just skateboarded casually, but Juugo was actually talented.

"Just try it. See, like this."

Juugo moved very slowly. It helped when Sasuke could watch him with his eyes. Regardless, Juugo couldn't slow down the flipping of the board, but Sasuke watched it carefully. After a good three or four minutes, he felt like he could actually make a solid attempt.

"Go for it, Sasuke."

And he did. The board shot off to the side as Sasuke's feet connected with the asphalt. At least he'd landed squarely on the soles of his shoes, so his landing was not as embarrassing as it could have been. Sasuke's board had traveled right to Juugo, who picked it up for him. Sasuke looked rather discouraged. Really, he just hadn't wanted to make an ass of himself. If he was going to suck at something, he'd rather do it in the privacy of his own home.

"Good try."

Sasuke grunted as Juugo handed him his skateboard again.

" _No one_  lands that trick their first time," Juugo reassured him.

"Yeah, I get it," Sasuke answered, sounding a little annoyed. "I'm gonna work on my manual for now."

Sasuke rolled down the sidewalk again, allowing his front wheels to part with the cement. He moved now solely on his back wheels, his knees bent. Sasuke was pretty comfortable doing this, gaining speed and then grinding against the curb.

"Alright."

Juugo seemed to understand that Sasuke just didn't want to find another dozen new ways to wipe out in public. Maybe he could teach Sasuke this in a more private setting at a later point in time, but Sasuke just wasn't going to cooperate here.

Sasuke felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He moved over to a bench and sat down, sliding his cell phone out. He felt a little anxious despite himself when he noticed a text message from Itachi. Juugo gave him his privacy, continuing to work on landing an unfamiliar trick with limited success.

"Naruto wants to make sure it's okay to take me to the grocery store."

Sasuke tilted his head at the screen, fully aware that no one was watching. He believed Naruto probably didn't want to get in trouble for taking Itachi, so Itachi was doing this to reassure him. Itachi hadn't left the house yet since he'd been discharged from the hospital.

"Yes?" he texted back.

His phone buzzed again within seconds. Itachi must've been close to the phone.

"Want anything?"

"We're out of lettuce. That's all I can think of for now."

"Alright. We're leaving in about 15 minutes. Let me know if you need anything else."

"Thanks."

He was glad to know that Naruto and Itachi were getting along well in his absence. He'd hoped that they'd keep each other company, honestly. He felt guilty for leaving the two of them behind. He looked behind him, and the sun was beginning to set on the ocean. Juugo paused again, walking over to Sasuke with his board. His pale, Irish skin was flushed with exertion, panting with a slight sheen of sweat on his face.

"God, I missed that," Juugo said, watching the sky, a brilliant mix of the full spectrum of color. The reddish orange sun, which Sasuke could only watch with his hand sheltering his eyes, met the turquoise ocean. The stark black silhouette of the gulls appeared as a dozen of them flew in front of the sun, which seemed to grow larger as it approached the waterline. Both of them sat down to watch it in silence, thirstily finishing off their water bottles.

Juugo's mom called soon after that. Juugo might as well have had her over speakerphone; Sasuke could hear almost everything Aiko was saying.

"Juugo, are you coming home for dinner soon? I'm about to put it in the oven."

"Yeah, I'm coming," Juugo answered, looking down at his watch. "I'll be back in about fifteen minutes."

"Hey, why don't you bring Sasuke?"

"Do you want me to ask him?"

Sasuke bit his lip. Juugo's family ate dinner together every night, almost without fail. He envied that, really. He couldn't remember the last time he'd enjoyed a family meal. He supposed that's what his meals with Itachi were, but honestly it just never had the same feel to it.

"Yeah! After all, he challenged me to a match. I can't give him an excuse to chicken out on me."

Juugo turned to Sasuke.

"She wants to know if you want to eat dinner with us."

Sasuke hesitated momentarily. Wasn't he imposing? He'd been with Juugo's family so much lately. And what about Naruto? Well, he seemed to be getting along well with Itachi. Maybe it was best to let them get to know each other better.

"Well?" Aiko asked impatiently. "What's he saying?"

"That's alright, Juugo," Sasuke said, shaking his head. "Your parents probably weren't planning for…"

"I hear him!" Aiko yelled enthusiastically. "Sasuke, can you hear me?"

Sasuke sighed, glancing at Juugo, who appeared rather embarrassed by his mother's behavior. She was trying to bypass Juugo completely.

"Sasuke, you coward!" she shouted, quickly returning to her phone voice afterward. "Give him the phone, Juugo, honey."

Very, very reluctantly, Juugo handed Sasuke the phone.

"Grow a pair and get your ass over here! I will hand it back to you with a side of chicken and dumplings!"

"Why is it you're always picking on me, hm, Aiko?" Sasuke asked mockingly.

"Oh, you know why."

"Oh?"

"Yes! ' _Oh!_ '"

Sasuke smirked.

"I'll be there."

"Wonderful! See you in fifteen minutes, dear."

_Click._

"Sorry, Sasuke," Juugo mumbled.

"I'm hungry anyway," he answered, walking towards Juugo's car as he held the skateboard by his side.

The drive was silent. Perhaps they were attempting to compensate for the fact that the moment they walked through that door, there wouldn't be a moment's worth of quiet. The instant they'd arrived, Aiko greeted them with an Xbox controller in hand.

"Uh… Aiko?" Sasuke asked.

Juugo groaned, resting his forehead in his palm.

"It's on."

"Mom, what happened to, 'I'm about to put it in the oven?'"

"Well, I found out Sasuke was coming. I can't cook supper without getting past this. I won't be able to concentrate!"

Aiko was taking this awfully serious, wasn't she? She grabbed Sasuke's hand and shoved the controller into it.

"Choose," she told Sasuke, pointing to Juugo's wide variety of games.

"You're sure you want to do that?"

"Heh," Aiko answered. "Honey, there's not a doubt in my mind. Pick your poison."

Sasuke sat down in the green bean bag chair, while Aiko took the couch in front of their sixty inch flat screen. He browsed through the PS2 titles, finding a worn game by the name of Genkai that Sasuke had given to Juugo. It was a very obscure game that Sasuke had played since childhood.

He hadn't rebought it after the fire, so he was a little rusty. Still, he'd always been ingenious when it came to this game. He decided that he'd pick the game he was most comfortable with, just to be safe. If it ended up that Aiko really was a novice, he could always go easy on her and save her some face.

Aiko seemed to hesitate before nodding.

"Alright. Genkai."

They waited for the PS2 to boot. There was then the offer for a tutorial.

"Need it?" Sasuke asked.

Aiko laughed, shaking her head.

"Adorable, Sasuke. Stop stalling."

Genkai was a fighting game, with martial arts style moves and a large number of rather complex combinations. Sasuke selected versus mode and leisurely waited for gameplay to begin, sighing and slouching back into his bean bag chair as Aiko leaned forward to get a good look at the TV. The countdown announced three, two… Why was Juugo cringing? One…

In a split second, Sasuke's character took 15% damage, hit by a barrage of quickly landed and well-aimed kicks and punches.

" _Shit_ ," Sasuke hissed under his breath, quickly maneuvering his way around Aiko's attacks. But it wasn't  _working_. He could hardly escape her. His body straightened up immediately, his back quickly parting with the chair. He heard Aiko mashing the keys from across the room.

"Yeah, you better run, brat!"

Sasuke was able to free himself from Aiko's character just long enough to use a four button combo. He didn't have time for much more than that, so his thumbs worked as quickly as possible. Aiko dodged it. Her reflex was quick, and her aim was phenomenal. Now Sasuke's character took another 5% damage. Aiko's was unscathed.

He'd very quickly realized that there would be no going  _easy_  on Aiko. Juugo was watching. Kou was nearby. He couldn't lose a Genkai match to an old woman. Absolutely not. His mind quickly planned his next line of attack. He jumped through the air, then a double jump, then another combo… He landed it. 30% damage. He smirked, and Aiko gasped.

"Dad! Sasuke's winning!" Juugo called out. Sasuke heard Kou run in, staring at the screen.

"Well, I'll be damned…"

"It's not over yet," Aiko yelled.

She came towards him again and meleed. Sasuke blocked. He kicked Aiko's legs out from under her, but she was up in a heartbeat. Aiko hit him with a modest three button combo, sending Sasuke down to 60% health. It only now occurred to Sasuke that up until now, Aiko had not used a single combo. Was she…going  _easy_  on him?

He was only 10% behind. He'd have to focus. He couldn't get flustered at such a time. Aiko was aggressive, leaving him almost no time to do anything other but block and perform the simplest combos. He knocked her on her back again. He'd aim for this one combo… It was six button combo. It was powerful, but the key drawback was that Sasuke would lose half of his health…going all the way down to 30%.

It was risky, but things weren't going well. It might be his only chance. It would stun Aiko's character, who still had 70% health. If he could just repeat the move one more time, before Aiko could recuperate, it would be enough for a knock out. It would usher him to death's doorstep, with only 15% left, but it was now or never.

So quickly, he moved. The hit connected, and Aiko shouted.

"Oh, for Christ's sake! What the hell is this?"

She quickly hammered down on the X button, attempting to get up. Aiko was charging some attack or another, surely knowing that if she scored an impressive hit, she could take Sasuke out with one move. But Sasuke was quick.

Aiko's character was up. She charged him. He used the heel of his hand to pull his character back while he smashed in the ending combo buttons. He delivered his final attack, and a large "K.O." engulfed the screen. Aiko merely stared at the screen, her jaw opened in shock.

"You were saying, Aiko?" Sasuke asked smugly.

"I never thought I'd see the day…" Kou mumbled.

Sasuke was quite pleased with himself. Maybe it was his mind playing tricks on him, but it looked like Aiko had lost some of the color in her face.

"I thought you were toast, Sasuke," Juugo said, leaning forward and patting Sasuke on the shoulder. "I've never seen anyone beat my mom at video games before."

"I want a rematch," Aiko mumbled, still half stunned.

"You lost, Aiko," Sasuke said smugly. "But I have to say, that was impressive."

"Sasuke, let me level with you…"

Sasuke frowned, wondering where this is going.

"I've never played Genkai before in my life."

"What?"

"I didn't think you could stand up to me, so I challenged you to a game I never played before. I…" Aiko looked off to the side. "I might have…underestimated you."

Sasuke couldn't believe it. How could it be possible that Aiko had never played Genkai before? He'd been playing this for years, and he'd only beat Aiko by a margin of 15%. But now that he thought of it, Aiko had only used a couple combo moves the entire game, and they were ones that involved only two or three buttons. She could have just figured them out through trial and error. There were so many powerful combos that Aiko had never used. It was actually…quite possible that this had been her first time playing.

He didn't feel so content with his victory anymore. Aiko certainly wasn't the only one who had been guilty of underestimating their opponent.

"If you're so sure you can beat this little old lady, then you'll accept my request for a rematch. I won't make the same mistake twice."

Sasuke stared at Aiko mutely for a while, feeling just the slightest bit intimidated by her for the first time ever.

"I'd suggest you quit while you're ahead, kid," Kou mumbled.

"Do you want the couch tonight, Kou?!" she shouted, gesturing towards the couch threateningly.

Sasuke sighed, shaking his head. He got the feeling he was walking to his death here. However, he felt that it just wasn't fair to challenge Aiko at a game she'd never played before and call it a match. It was only good sportsmanship to accept a rematch.

"Which game?" Sasuke asked.

"Any Atari game we have," Aiko said. "I've played all of them at least a few times."

Aiko revealed a large variety of cartridges to Sasuke. He spotted Street Fighter instantly. He'd played various Street Fighter games with Itachi and the neighbors more times than he could have ever hoped to remember growing up. It had best one of the few games he could best everyone at without fail. The versions he played were much more modern than this one. He'd never played on the Atari before, but even still, he thought that this was his best chance.

"How about… Street Fighter?"

Aiko grinned.

"Very fine choice, Sasuke."

Sasuke's palms were sweating as he shut off the PS2 for Aiko, booting the old Atari up and hooking the cables to the TV. Something in the way Aiko responded seemed very sinister… He felt like he entering a lion's den.

The game booted.

They started, and Aiko's character moved around Sasuke at dizzying speed. The game was a bit of a button masher, which Sasuke thought would be to his advantage. But his health bar was falling even quicker than Sasuke could process. He fought back, but the outcome of this game was becoming very clear. He was out of his league.

"Cleveland, Ohio, tournament of 1988! Second place!"

Sasuke was already at less than half health. He'd barely dented Aiko.

"Los Angeles, California, tournament of 1989! First place!"

Just like that, Sasuke was down for the count.

"Best out of three?" Aiko asked, grinning.

There hadn't even been a contest. He hadn't stood a chance in hell. There was no way he could ever beat Aiko. Sasuke placed down his controller, shaking his head and offering Aiko his hand.

"Good game, Aiko."

Aiko shook his hand enthusiastically, grinning back at him.

"Not bad, for a little snot-nosed brat!"

Aiko placed down her controller as well, quite content that she'd been able to prove herself.

"Now, would you two mind cleaning up everything while I get everything ready?"

"Sure thing," Juugo answered, joining Sasuke on the ground as they cleaned up all of the controllers.

"Thanks, dears," Aiko answered, making her way back into the kitchen.

As the two leaned over, Sasuke unplugging the Atari, they caught each other's eyes. Juugo began to laugh at Sasuke, very quietly, and Sasuke rolled his eyes and jabbed Juugo on the shoulder.

"Shit, Juugo, why didn't you tell me your mom was some video gaming guru?"

"You never asked," Juugo answered simply, rolling up a long cord.

They had everything cleaned soon. Sasuke and Juugo both helped in the kitchen, Sasuke manning the oven as Aiko stirred the green beans. Juugo fetched Aiko a spatula. The four of them had worked up a bit of a sweat by the time the meal was on the table, but it was worth it. Sasuke had never tasted Aiko's cooking before, other than her cakes, but it was delicious.

There was chicken and dumplings, rolls made from scratch, and green beans. Everyone was given their own bottle of vitamin water. It was a new brand that the local health store carried, which Aiko insisted was superior. Aiko laughed while Kou, Sasuke, and Juugo made a few comments, Sasuke occasionally baiting her on for the hell of it.

"Hey, Sasuke! Wasn't it you that said I should become a chiropractor?" Aiko asked, pointing at Sasuke. Sasuke had actually been lost to thought. What had Aiko been going on about, anyhow?

"If you're actually  _trying_  to crack peoples' back with those hugs, you have an uncanny success rate."

Aiko laughed.

"You're a wimp, Sasuke. It's tough love. Just look at Kou!"

Kou regarded his wife rather hesitantly. She abruptly stood, gesturing Kou to stand along with her. Kou remained seated, however.

"I don't think…"

"C'mon! Show them how it's done!"

With a very prolonged sigh, Kou acquiesced. She promptly began to hug him, probably with all of the strength she possessed. Kou began to go red.

"Honey, I can't…breathe…"

"Did you hear a single crack?" Aiko asked, finally letting Kou go. Juugo was hiding his face, thoroughly embarrassed. "See? Tough love toughens ya up!"

Kou was finally regaining his breath, his face returning to its normal color. Conversation halted for a moment. Juugo seemed to have been humiliated into silence, picking at his chicken, and Sasuke was just being…well, himself.

"Oh, speakin' of tough love…" Aiko continued. "How have Karin and Suigetsu been doing?"

Sasuke, as expressionless as he normally was, didn't have trouble masking his thoughts. Juugo did the same.

"They're fine."

"You know, those two lovebirds…" Aiko trailed off, taking a bite of green beans and swallowing before speaking again. "They're about ready to bite each other's heads off. It reminds me of how me and your father used to be."

The idea made Sasuke feel a little ill, just momentarily. He'd told himself that he wasn't attached to his other friends, so why did this statement bother him? He wondered when Suigetsu would finally get out, and exactly how Karin was doing right now.

"I wouldn't say that…" Kou mumbled.

"But that Karin… I like her," Aiko said. "She knows how to keep a man in check!"

Aiko glanced around the table, noting that Sasuke and Juugo were both silent and were eating much more slowly.

"Why the long faces?" she asked, glancing at Juugo. "Now, honey, I know you miss your friends, but they're never more than a short drive away, you know?"

Suigetsu, a drive away? Sure, during visiting hours, after driving through about two hours of mountain ranges and desert.

"I know, Mom. But let's not talk about that."

Aiko began to respond to Juugo, but her mouth went still before any sound left it. She seemed to rethink, smiling and sipping at her vitamin water.

"Right, of course."

Sasuke was grateful to Juugo. He didn't know how much longer he could listen to Aiko speak so unwittingly about Karin and Suigetsu. If that hadn't been enough, the look on Juugo's face would have taken care of the rest. Sasuke was pretty sure that Juugo had taken Suigetsu's incarceration rougher than he had. Maybe he'd seen Suigetsu as a little brother as well.

The dinner continued, rowdy but never anything but pleasant. Yet still, it was bittersweet to Sasuke. It was so recently that he'd had dinner with his own parents in much the same way. His dad would sit at the head of the table, just like Kou was, though Aiko certainly had his mother beat in terms of loquaciousness.

The mood was much more boisterous with Juugo's family than it had been with his own. Itachi and Sasuke weren't big talkers, and his mom was soft spoken, but they always found something to chat over. Usually, his father was central to the conversation, yet it was his mother's cooking that they always ate. Chicken and dumplings was a recurring dish, and his mother even made it similarly to how Aiko had. Despite the differences, the atmosphere was almost painfully familiar, and Sasuke couldn't help but feel jealous.

Afterward, Aiko offered to teach Sasuke a few things about gaming. He gratefully accepted the proposal. Sasuke deemed that after learning a few things from Aiko, he would be nearly unstoppable against any casual players.

Despite the fact that Sasuke's skill level was far below her own, Aiko was very uncharacteristically patient and gentle with him. Juugo watched as his mother instructed his best friend, pleased to see two sides of his life which so rarely connected meld so naturally.

When they’d finished, Juugo's parents walked up to their bedroom, and Juugo and Sasuke sat downstairs, surfing television channels until they ran into Pulp Fiction. Both of them had already seen the movie, and Sasuke knew he had to take off soon anyhow. It was dark out, and he wanted to have a good number of hours with Naruto until they fell asleep. It was getting awfully close to the day he'd leave. He could hardly believe there were only two full days left.

"Sorry about my mom, by the way," Juugo mumbled.

"Hm?" Sasuke asked.

"I know she can be a little bit much to deal with sometimes. She adores you, though."

"I'm aware," Sasuke answered, his voice sounding a little down. He'd been thinking of Naruto.

"My folks are a little eccentric, aren't they? Probably where I get it from."

"Yeah…" Sasuke answered thoughtfully. "But sometimes it's the stupid, embarrassing shit that you end up missing, like the way your spine used to crack when your mom hugged you. So…"

Sasuke paused for a bit, and Juugo watched him wordlessly.

"I guess appreciate it while you can," Sasuke concluded weakly.

For just an instant, Juugo glanced at Sasuke in confusion before he finally realized where Sasuke was coming from.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I wasn't complaining. I didn't mean for it to come off like that."

"I know you weren't," Sasuke reassured him quietly.

Juugo pulled at his sleeves for a while, both of them silent as John Travolta accidently shot some unsuspecting man in the head.

"Hey, Sasuke… You're okay…with eating dinner with us and all? Everything's good?"

Sasuke didn't know what Juugo was going on about, and then it occurred to him. It was the first time Sasuke had eaten dinner with a family since he'd lost his own, and Sasuke's comment probably reminded Juugo of this. Juugo was wondering if it had been painful for Sasuke. He had to admit that it had been a little difficult, but all in all, it left him happy.

"You think I can't observe a slice of traditional suburban Americana without having a meltdown?" Sasuke asked sarcastically, donning a smirk.

Juugo chuckled under his breath, relieved by Sasuke's teasing.

"I think I'll follow your advice, Sasuke," Juugo said with a smile.

Soon, Sasuke announced that he was getting tired, and that he should probably go home and tend to Itachi. The drive was quick. As Juugo's pickup truck pulled into his driveway about fifteen minutes later, Sasuke didn't know whether he was happy or sad to be leaving the company of Juugo's family. If Sasuke had been born to Juugo's parents, he wondered how he would've turned out, where life would have led him. But he realized that even if it were possible, he liked the person he'd become too much to tinker with the past.

When Sasuke opened the door, the first sound he heard was Naruto's laughter. Itachi and Naruto were watching none other than Pulp Fiction, sharing a large bowl of popcorn. Naruto tackled and hugged Sasuke as he joined them on the couch, the three of them wasting time together until their eyelids started to close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boooonding. <3
> 
> Sorry for the late post, guys. Depressive episodes are a bitch.


	54. Chapter 54

On January 6th, they would drop Naruto off at the police station. The 4th was not unlike any other day. Sasuke and Naruto lay on the living room couch, bundled up with a blanket and watching some Christmas specials that the networks we rerunning. Their heads were on opposite ends of the couch, legs intertwined over the small amount of space their bodies shared.

Itachi was napping. A nurse had come in to check on Itachi earlier that morning. She had Itachi perform several exercises, including walking up and down the stairs, which had exhausted him. The nurse told Sasuke that Itachi could use the stairs alone, provided that someone else was in the house. He still was not to leave the house unattended. Really, this was the only event of any significance that had occurred today.

The topic of Naruto's departure had yet to come up. Sasuke thought about it, of course. How could he not? He would be discovered in Orange County, but he’d received foster care services from Kern County. Sasuke had no idea where they'd send Naruto.

Sasuke could still visit him, of course. It was only a couple hours by train, but compared to living in the same room, it was quite a change. And who knew how long it would be until Naruto was placed? Would Sasuke be able to contact him during that period? For how long would Naruto be stuck in limbo? Would they treat him well?

Adventure Time was playing again. Sasuke had little interest in the show and only a vague idea of the episode's plot. His thoughts were occupied, though the same did not appear to be true about Naruto. Naruto laughed and gestured at the television show just as he normally did. Sasuke shuffled his phone out of his pocket and hit the power, checking the time. The minutes kept creeping onward.

During commercial break, Sasuke righted himself on the couch, sitting. Naruto glanced over at him as if to ask if something was the matter. He frowned at Naruto for several seconds, taking in the details of Naruto's appearance subconsciously. Naruto looked strong now. He was dressed in Sasuke's black tank top and red Dr. Pepper PJ pants he'd bought at Walmart. He was curled up, fetal position, his hair a little unkempt from having rested on it for so long. His lips were smooth rather than chapped, and the callouses on his hands had somewhat softened. But the scars on his cheek were deep all the same.

Sasuke leaned over to kiss Naruto, and Naruto jerked away minutely. Sasuke looked down at Naruto in confusion, tilting his head in an unspoken request for information.

"Ah, sorry," Naruto answered rather weakly. "I just wasn't expecting it."

Sasuke nodded, but he didn't look satisfied by the answer.

"C'mon," Naruto added, pulling Sasuke towards him by his V-neck collar and kissing him. They both opened their mouths. Naruto's tongue entered Naruto's mouth and appeared to halt there. Naruto's muscles were tensed. They finished neatly, and Sasuke returned to his seat, unsatisfied but not complaining.

And this was how the entirety of the 4th progressed. Sasuke gave up on making advances. Whether these advances were for the sake of emotional comfort or for the sake of hormones, they only left Sasuke feeling uncomfortable. Despite Naruto's smiling, his jokes, and his kisses, he seemed so distant to Sasuke, as if he weren't even present.

When they did speak, Naruto spoke of dozens of trivial topics, and Sasuke responded with even more terseness than was typical, frustrated by the situation. Naruto acted like he didn't notice that. Night arrived, and Naruto slept facing away from Sasuke, his body curling sharply into fetal position. Sasuke could only guess at what Naruto was thinking.

A gentle light was provided by Sasuke’s phone as he tinkered on a meaningless app. He didn’t want to go to sleep. He didn’t want to face his own thoughts. It was two in the morning, and they’d lain down three hours ago. He looked over at Naruto, whose hair was covering his eyes. Sasuke turned to face Naruto, gently resting his hand on Naruto’s bicep.

Whether Naruto was aware of it or not, his hand met Sasuke’s and grasped it. Though the position hurt Sasuke’s shoulder after a few seconds, he stayed for a minute or two. When he slipped his hand away, Naruto’s reached out for his. Sasuke found himself smiling, faintly. He kissed the back of Naruto’s head, rested his eyes, and finally, he slept.

And, again, as if it were any other day, the 5th began. Their last day. They repeated the same routine, sitting on the couch watching television. Was this really how they would spend their remaining 24 hours together? It was noon, and Sasuke was low on sleep. The weather had suddenly become much colder, and even the sunlight sifting through the windows seemed inexplicably insincere.

They assumed the same posture as they had yesterday, lying together on the loveseat with legs intermingling. Each of their heads rested on opposite armrests, a fleece blanket draped over them. Ferret was resting by Sasuke's lap. Since they hadn't moved in a while, Ferret had made herself comfortable, rolling up in a ball. They were watching Jon Stewart, and Naruto laughed at a political joke that Sasuke knew had gone right over his head.

They didn't talk during the show, the only interrupting sounds coming from an ambulance, and about 30 minutes later, a motorcycle passing by. A commercial advertised some perfume as a model walked down the catwalk. Naruto pointed at the screen, not looking at Sasuke as he commented, "This is… God, how many times have we seen this commercial in the past hour?"

Sasuke sighed, knitting his brows as he stared down at his chest. He couldn't do this. Not today. Not now. He knew he would regret it too much if he kept this act going to the very end.

"Naruto, how long do you plan to pretend that today isn't what it is?" he asked, staring at Naruto unabashedly.

Sasuke wasn't the type to force a conversation like this. He didn't have a problem leaving emotions unspoken, but something about this felt very off to Sasuke. It concerned him.

"Woah, Sasuke," Naruto laughed in that awkward way he tended to when he was taken off guard. "Where did that come from?"

"Don't play dumb," Sasuke answered, his frustration with the situation beginning to make itself heard in his voice. "We've just been bumming around the house watching television like any other day. We did the same thing yesterday. When I touch you, you get stiff as a board."

Naruto lost several seconds to shock before he shot back, "Well, what do you suggest, huh? That we just spend all day crying and clinging to each other feeling miserable and sorry for ourselves? Is that what you suggest?"

Ferret roused, her sleepy eyes opening as her head poked up. Naruto's tone had brought her to attention. Naruto’s response carried more heat than Sasuke had expected, and the tone was defensive. Really, wasn't it possible to acknowledge their situation without making a big production of it?

"I _suggest_ we stop pretending."

"I'm _not_ pretending!" Naruto shouted, his face confirming all of Sasuke's suspicions. Finding something better to do, Ferret lept out of Sasuke's lap and slinked to the other room. "Did you honestly think I could forget?"

But Sasuke couldn't shout back at Naruto, as he normally would. Naruto's anger was all too transparent to Sasuke. This was hard for Sasuke, yes. His relationship with one of the most important people in his life would likely change forever. But for Naruto… He was being separated from his _only_ bond and his _only_ home. He was being sent back to the system he had spent a year on the streets to escape, a system that was nearly the death of him.

As unskilled with empathy as he tended to be, Sasuke still realized that this wasn't about him. It was about Naruto. He, of course, held quite a stake in it, but he wouldn't allow himself to become so selfish. It was Naruto's life that was in a state of total flux. Everything he knew was changing, while Sasuke would come home tomorrow to his same house and spend the day with his brother, after which he'd return to his same school with all the same people in it, save for a couple of familiar faces.

So Sasuke's glare turned gentle, and he took his eyes from Naruto, mumbling just loudly enough for him to hear, "It's okay to be scared, you know."

Naruto was shocked and disarmed by Sasuke's response, and he appeared entirely torn on how to react. Would he get angrier still? Would he become despondent? Or…

"Scared? Please…" Naruto answered with a wide smile, swatting at Sasuke. "Who do you think I am? The one and only Uzumaki Naruto doesn't get _scared_."

Naruto's smile did nothing to reassure Sasuke. Sasuke loved it when Naruto smiled, but not like this. Was he pretending for Sasuke? Was he being strong? Or was he avoiding it all? Normally, Naruto wasn't such a difficult read.

"I mean it, Naruto. Don't play it up on my behalf."

"You know, Sasuke…" Naruto answered, the smile never leaving his face. "I figure if I laugh, I won't cry."

Sasuke bit his lip, looking rather uncertain.

"Would that be such a horrible thing?"

"Not my style, sweetcheeks," Naruto answered, pulling on Sasuke's cheek. Sasuke huffed, staring back at Naruto impatiently and then swatting Naruto's hand away.

"Whatever, fine. But you know, you're gonna be safe."

"I know," Naruto answered, sounding rather impatient for the moment when Sasuke would stop talking about this.

"You know that if you're not treated right, I'll hand their ass to them on a platter."

"In case you haven't noticed, Sasuke, I'm not a little shrimp anymore," Naruto told Sasuke rather gruffly. "I can fend for myself."

"Naruto…"

"I know this isn't quite right," Naruto admitted, his voice suddenly sounding very tired, "But please just leave it be."

Sasuke wasn't one to push people into talking about things they didn't want to talk about. He knew all too well what it felt like to be on the receiving end of that treatment. And so, although it was against his better judgment, he would acquiesce.

"Alright."

But even if Naruto could pretend, Sasuke couldn't. While he admitted that Naruto had the shorter end of the stick here, it didn't make things any less difficult for Sasuke. He didn't have too many people he cared so deeply for.

He'd felt sick to his stomach all day, the finality of the situation weighing down heavily upon him. Each tick of the clock seemed like the tiniest defeat. He didn't know how Naruto had managed to avoid it so well, but then again, Sasuke knew that he didn't look upset either. Maybe Naruto was doing the same thing.

Sasuke stood up, motioning Naruto to follow him. They didn't have to _talk_ about anything. Sasuke wasn't a person who required a lot of conversation. He just didn't know how much longer he could take watching television with Naruto, pretending. He hated seeing those forced smiles.

"Come on," Sasuke commanded, getting out of the loveseat and tugging Naruto with him for a moment before letting go.

"What are we doing?"

Sasuke didn't answer him, but Naruto followed nonetheless. Sasuke walked with Naruto into Itachi's downstairs study, locking the door behind them. Naruto glanced back at Sasuke, predictably oblivious to Sasuke's intentions.

"Sasuke, what…"

But Naruto was pushed against a door now, Sasuke kissing him roughly. Sasuke wouldn't have the opportunity to do this for a long time. Itachi was asleep upstairs, and they wouldn't have time tomorrow. He knew he'd curse himself if he didn't take this chance. Naruto tensed, just as he had yesterday. He froze, and then he at last relaxed, reading the desperation in Sasuke's fevered movements.

It seemed as though some sort of boundary had been crossed, as if Naruto had only just now woken up from whatever self-imposed slumber he'd placed himself under the past couple days. Sasuke was surprised when Naruto kissed him back so strongly, moaning as he bit Sasuke's lower lip and pulled it towards him. Naruto grabbed Sasuke's shirt and pulled him in close to his body, forcing Sasuke to stumble forward. His back against the door, Naruto put his shoe up against it so that his knee protruded, gently rubbing against Sasuke's groin.

Sasuke steadied himself by placing his left hand against the door, his right hand tracing Naruto's ribcage, drifting down lower to his abs, then his hips. This session was a seemingly spontaneous move on Sasuke's part, but both of them knew what lay behind it. In any case, it was much less awkward and certainly more pleasurable than speaking it out. Naruto grabbed Sasuke's wrist, shoving his body into Sasuke so that now it was Sasuke's back that thudded against the wall.

"Stop banging on the walls," Sasuke grunted. "Itachi'll hear."

He lifted his hand to push Naruto back, but Naruto merely swung his wrist out of the way.

"You started it," Naruto answered, sounding equal parts guilty and mischievous.

He kissed Sasuke again before he could make his retort.

"Sit," Naruto commanded, pointing at the pivoting desk chair. Sasuke glanced back at him, as if to say "nice try."

"I'm not a dog, Naruto."

"It'll be worth it," Naruto purred, rubbing his palm into Sasuke's budding erection through denim.

"Again, I'm not a dog. You can't get me to behave by crinkling the treats bag."

"Sasuke, I will take your cock so deep in my throat that trying not to scream will be your toughest challenge all month," Naruto said bluntly.

"…Alright then."

He sat.

That was a damned fine offer.

Naruto walked across the room, getting on his knees before Sasuke and unbuttoning his pants. Naruto gave a victorious little smirk, which quite predictably got under Sasuke's skin. Perhaps Sasuke could be reasoned with after all.

Sasuke glanced down at Naruto, who'd unbuttoned his pants and was now unzipping them. Naruto wouldn't look up at him. He only looked at what his hands were doing, which Sasuke supposed was fair. Sasuke glanced at the adjacent wall, which had Itachi's large world map across it, muted shades of the individual countries contrasting with the cream-colored background as Sasuke sat in Itachi's wide black swivel chair.

They shouldn't be doing this here, Sasuke thought. But if they went to his bedroom, it would be too easy to be heard. In terms of soundproofing, this was probably the safest room in the house given that Itachi was in his bedroom. Like most Californian houses, theirs was built sturdy, so there wasn't a great deal of creaking. Still, it felt a little…

Sasuke was jerked out of that thought process as Naruto began edging Sasuke’s jeans down his thighs. He helped Naruto out, sliding his jeans over his bare feet. Neither of them had bothered with shoes today. Sasuke's erection was poking out rather obviously through his black boxer shorts, the fabric quickly becoming uncomfortably restrictive. He didn't protest when Naruto did away with the garment, his cock giving a modest jerk upwards as it was unclothed.

Naruto wasn't wasting any time. He spat in his hand and grasped Sasuke's cock midway, smoothing his tongue against its head rather brazenly, his eyes fixed on his work. Sasuke couldn't help but scrunch his toes against the smooth hardwood floor.

How long had it been since they'd last done this, anyhow? Itachi's presence had certainly complicated matters. Though Itachi probably wouldn't have even minded, Sasuke tried to avoid traumatizing him out of courtesy.

As Naruto took his cock into his mouth, Sasuke tilted his head back, his Adam's apple displaying prominently. His bangs fell back, leaving his pale forehead exposed, forearms draped over the armrests. He ran his finger through Naruto's hair, grasping it and pulling lightly. But Naruto was already taking his pants off. He reached around, fingering his own ass as he took Sasuke's cock in and out of his mouth, sucking harder as he continued.

Sasuke wondered if Naruto was just craving the sensation of being full, or if he was actually intending on letting Sasuke enter him. They were moving awfully quickly. Either Naruto had some plan, or he was just really fucking horny. Sasuke leaned over, grabbing a sample-sized packet of lube out of his blue jeans to aid Naruto's movements. He took the opportunity to put a couple more by his lap in case they should need it.

"Here."

He was glad that Naruto didn't question the fact that Sasuke just happened to have lube in his pocket. Never taking his mouth off of Sasuke, Naruto opened the packet and blindly put the contents on his pointer finger and middle finger, which soon re-entered his body. It wasn't often that Naruto so willingly agreed, no, even _requested_ to be penetrated. Sasuke certainly wasn't complaining, however. Sasuke was now almost completely stiff, Naruto's lips and mouth working against Sasuke's manhood so enticingly.

Naruto didn't need a cue. He moved towards Sasuke's lap, Naruto's cock already hard.

"Hold up," Sasuke interrupted before Naruto was able to sit on his lap. He took a condom packet out of his jeans, only to have Naruto regard the packet skeptically as if Sasuke had pulled out something completely random.

"Where did you get that?"

Itachi had told him, hadn't he? As much as it killed him to admit that anything spoken during that horrific conversation had been of any use to him, it had perhaps taught him a few new things.

"Santa Claus," Sasuke answered with a deadpan.

Naruto rolled his eyes. Well, it _was_ the season.

"No, seriously. What gives?"

Sasuke supposed he couldn't blame Naruto. They'd never used a condom before.

"It's cleaner," Sasuke answered, gesturing to their environment.

Naruto nodded, pleased that Sasuke's foresight had saved them from cleaning wads of semen off of Itachi’s floor and/or furniture in the near future. Sasuke was glad that Naruto hadn't questioned why he suddenly seemed to have a pharmacy's worth of sex aids in his pockets.

Really, it was just a couple condoms and a few sample packs of lube. But he'd known that today was their last chance, and there was a high chance of the mood heating up somewhere peculiar, given the unpredictability of Itachi's whereabouts. He'd kept it on his person to be safe.

Sasuke had never put on a condom before. He opened the condom pack, trying to remember the banana he'd practiced on in sex ed. He didn't want to let on his inexperience. Had Naruto ever put one of these on? He'd been a virgin at the time Sasuke got to him, but even still…

Yet even if Naruto did know what he was doing, Sasuke refused to let him stand in for him. So he took a deep swallow and placed it against his tip, rolling it down his swollen shaft as carefully as he could without appearing uncertain. Naruto didn't seem to be questioning anything, thankfully. He had it on without further event, internally relieved that this had gone so well.

Naruto was backing onto Sasuke now, facing the same direction as Sasuke. He got onto his shins, lowering himself onto Sasuke. Would it be difficult for Naruto to get leverage? And besides that… Sasuke really just wanted to see Naruto's face. He ordinarily wasn't so sentimental, but given the circumstances, he wanted to be reminded at every possible opportunity exactly _who_ was riding him. He wanted to remember.

"Turn around first," Sasuke requested, and it did truly sound like a request rather than a command.

"This is better."

No, there was hardly any room for him this way, and Naruto was having trouble even situating himself. He didn't want this to end up like the bathtub incident. Why was Naruto so set on doing it this way?

"No, it's not," Sasuke answered, beginning to sound frustrated. "If you face me, you'll have room for your knees, and you can push off of your feet and support yourself with the armrests. You won't be as mobile this way."

Of course, Sasuke wouldn't confess to the fact that he mostly just wanted to see Naruto's face. Naruto paused to consider Sasuke's proposition. Why was he hesitating?

"Yeah, okay."

He pivoted on Sasuke's lap, and Sasuke was glad that he had stopped Naruto before he'd been penetrated. How much more awkward would this have been if Sasuke was already inside him? Naruto grabbed another lube packet, applying it to his insides. Naruto stared down at Sasuke's abs as he guided Sasuke's cock over his hole by feel. Out of Naruto's sight, Sasuke's fingers dug into the armrest as his sex slid up Naruto's crack, coated in lube now. He wanted to badly to penetrate, the flesh between Naruto's cheeks only teasing him.

And slowly, Naruto lowered himself onto Sasuke, gently holding Sasuke's cock in place. Sasuke was looking at him, but Naruto was still looking down. He appeared to be concentrating. Sasuke shuddered as he pushed past Naruto's tight band. The feeling was somewhat muted, as the condom presented a rather meddlesome barrier, but Naruto was also tighter than usual because the two of them had abstained for so long. His insides hugged Sasuke tightly, and Naruto moaned, attempting to keep the volume of his voice down.

Naruto began to pant as he raised himself up and then lowered himself onto Sasuke's cock again and again, quick but modest movements. If Sasuke hadn't been holding back, that blow job might just have been enough to lead him to orgasm, although it was short. His nose scrunching just barely, Sasuke was already feeling himself beginning to leak, but he'd have to hold it in for Naruto.

Naruto's hardened cock bounced between them as his motions became more dramatic, his entrance acclimatizing itself to the intrusion. Naruto took off his shirt in frustration as his body temperature rose, panting as he was covered in sweat. He allowed his arms to aid his movements as he pushed off of the armrests, the chair squeaking plaintively. Naruto's biceps and the meat of his forearm were starkly defined by his muscles, and Sasuke knew that all of his working out was coming in handy. With a view like this, he could never regret insisting on this position.

Naruto jerked Sasuke's shirt upwards impatiently, and Sasuke discarded the garment unceremoniously. Naruto's cock now bounced against Sasuke's bare stomach as he used his thighs and gluts to push himself up into Naruto. The office chair had something to say about that, but Sasuke didn't give a shit anymore. He was feeling too good to care, emitting a low and animalistically possessive moan. Naruto moved his arms to rest on the top of the chair, facing the wall behind Sasuke now.

One arm still on the armrests, Sasuke reached up and grasped Naruto's face so that it was forced to level with his. For the first time since they had begun, Naruto's eyes met Sasuke's, the brilliant blue shrinking as Naruto’s pupils quickly dilated.

"Look at me."

Their gazes only connected for a split second. Naruto looked away, flushing.

"Naruto…"

Sasuke kept his hand on Naruto's cheek, feeling the texture of scar tissue against his palm as he moved forward to kiss him roughly. Naruto's movements paused in surprise, but he soon began to ride Sasuke all the more emphatically, responding to the kiss with heated, pleading moans.

Their kiss came to a halt, and there was the slightest diamond-shaped gap between their lips. Their bottom lips still touched, just barely, the contact sometimes broken as Naruto would move up and down. Their eyes just inches from each other, Sasuke's dark irises again looked back into Naruto's.

Sasuke spoke patiently, "Look at me."

And slowly Naruto's eyes dragged over to Sasuke's, and they were held there. Sasuke's eyes, which were ordinarily a near black, seemed to have transitioned to a shade of dark brown. Perhaps the light was just hitting his eyes differently, or maybe the expression on his face was creating an illusion. His eyes seemed so…alive. Warm. Naruto's body trembled as he looked into Sasuke's eyes. Naruto couldn’t look away anymore.

"God, S-Sasuke…"

Naruto grabbed Sasuke's shoulders, and Sasuke rotated his hips as he pounded into Naruto's ass. Naruto hadn't spoken his name until now, and the sound of it had him all but undone. Naruto's cock was red and plump. Sasuke curled his back so that he could thrust into Naruto harder, using his arm and legs to support himself.

"Oh God!" Naruto whimpered.

Sasuke reached forward and grasped Naruto's cock, which he'd now assess was painfully hard. He pumped him quickly, causing Naruto's hands to claw into Sasuke's shoulders.

“Naruto…” Sasuke drawled out, loving being inside of Naruto’s tight entrance, filling him. Forcing Naruto to _feel_ , when the past two days seemed to have been in grayscale.

"I can't last much longer…" Naruto panted out.

Sasuke nodded, grunting before his hazed mind could conjure up a response.

"Yeah," Sasuke breathed. “Same.”

Naruto's body clenched. He froze. He began to moan as he released, his voice starting off quiet but gradually mounting as he unleashed once, coating Sasuke's stomach. A diminishing spurt following it soon after. The orgasm seized Naruto quickly, pleasure broadsiding him. Sasuke was a soiled mess, the aftermath working down his chest and abs, but he couldn't be bothered to consider that at the moment.

Naruto's body was beginning to slump against Sasuke, but Sasuke kept moving. He hadn't climaxed yet. Naruto was thoroughly exhausted for the moment, the pleasure of the orgasm just beginning to fade. Sasuke wouldn't take much longer. He bit down on the inside of his lower lip, their skin clapping together as he let himself go. Sasuke's balls ached; he'd staved off release for too long.

"Sh-shit…"

Sasuke grabbed Naruto's ass as he splayed it apart, so he could get inside of him entirely. Naruto moaned, suddenly finding that he had more fight in him, Sasuke's raspy panting accompanying it. The sight of Sasuke covered in his seed, flushed and needy beneath him, was a memory he hoped to carry with him. He wanted Sasuke to full him completely, to _own_ him. When would this happen next?

Sasuke's eyes clamped shut as he felt himself hit the brink. His body held onto that blissful pre-orgasmic feeling for just a couple seconds before he finally released after what felt like so long. For just a moment, all conscious thought ceased. The bliss he felt left room for nothing else, and he heard the sound of his own moan as if he were a bystander.

Sasuke grasped at Naruto's strong forearms to steady himself, panting as his body began to calm. Naruto was every bit as breathless, Sasuke still inside him.

"Lift yourself up."

His brother told him to take the condom off right after ejaculation, so he'd listen to him. The thought of accidentally leaving the thing inside of Naruto after he'd gone limp was more than a little unsettling. Naruto lifted off of him, and Sasuke discreetly slid off the condom and tied it up.

"This really is a lot neater," Naruto said through a small laugh.

"Yeah, says you," Sasuke baited, gesturing down at his coated abs and chest.

Naruto tried not to laugh.

"Think of it as an honor," Naruto consoled Sasuke with a grin. "Not everyone gets to be jizzed all over by yours truly."

"I'd hope not."

Their responses were lazy, endorphins still madly percolating throughout their bloodstreams.

"At least we didn't get the chair?" Naruto said sheepishly.

Naruto handed Sasuke a box of Kleenex, which Sasuke gladly accepted. They both began to work on Sasuke's body, cleaning it off so he could at least get to the shower without showing any traces.

"No, at least _you_ didn't get the chair."

"This was a team effort, dickwad," he answered, pointing at Sasuke's soiled body.

Sasuke grunted.

"D'you think Itachi heard?" Naruto asked rather nervously, biting his lips.

"It's a possibility," Sasuke mumbled.

Sasuke hated to admit that, but it wasn't as if Itachi didn't know what was going on. And it was their last day. Still, Itachi probably hadn't heard, Sasuke suspected. He could never hear the music Itachi played down here upstairs. Should worst come to worst, Sasuke was sure he'd understand.

"Ugh, how embarrassing."

" _You're_ embarrassed?"

"Heh," Naruto laughed sheepishly.

They labored a little more until Sasuke was clean. Naruto remained on Sasuke's lap, resting against him, his ear to Sasuke's chest. Was Naruto listening to his heartbeat? Whatever the case, Naruto was spent.

"I'm going to miss you." That was the thought inside of Sasuke's head, shouting against the insides of his skull, stubbornly insisting to be broadcasted.

And yet Sasuke wouldn't. This was much more about Naruto than it was about him, and Naruto had told him that he didn't want to talk about it. Naruto looked like he was feeling good, which was difficult to come by at such a time. Sasuke wouldn't take that away from him. He held his tongue, holding Naruto tightly into his chest as he protectively cradled the back of Naruto's head in his large palm. Naruto responded by nuzzling his face against Sasuke, the two holding each other tightly in complete silence.

Sasuke and Naruto were close to each other all day, holding each other, their bodies pooling together when they did just about anything. But they rarely spoke unless it was necessary. Sasuke cooked the three of them beef stroganoff for dinner. It was an awkward meal. Itachi mentioned that they would leave at around one in the afternoon the next day. That was all he had to say on the matter. The lovers went silent at the mention, and Itachi was too perceptive not to notice that this had become a taboo subject.

After he did his dishes, Naruto announced that he was going to take a shower, waving at the room's two other occupants in his typically cheerful manner before leaving the room. Without speaking to either of the two, Sasuke began to take the dishes to the sink and clean them. Itachi stood up, taking his dishes over as well.

"I got it," Sasuke quickly spoke up.

"Please, Sasuke, I'm not an invalid," Itachi answered. That statement was even truer now than it had been in months. Although looking after Itachi had been tiring, Sasuke suspected that he might miss it in a way. Regardless, he was pleased that Itachi was feeling so much better.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and let Itachi help him. The strong lemon scent of the dish soap filled the kitchen. Itachi worked at one half of the sink while Sasuke worked at the other, a comfortable silence between them.

"How is Naruto doing?" Itachi asked, keeping his eyes on a difficult spot he was sponging off of a plate.

Sasuke shrugged, rinsing off a plate he'd just finished soaping.

"Is he okay?" Itachi asked, pausing his moments temporarily but still not looking at Sasuke.

Sasuke paused before responding with, "He'll be fine."

Itachi nodded, continuing his work.

"Are _you_ okay?"

"Of course I am," Sasuke answered quickly. Perhaps a bit _too_ quickly.

"Sasuke, if you need me, I'm here. The same goes for Naruto. Understood?"

"Understood."

They were done quickly.

"Good night, Sasuke," Itachi said with a smile, patting Sasuke's shoulder casually before turning to the stairs.

"Good night."

Sasuke loafed around downstairs for a bit, making sure everything was put away properly. When he heard his shower shut off, he walked into his bedroom and lay in bed as he read _The English Patient_ , which he knew he'd have to write a term paper on soon. It had gotten late already.

The night, cloudless, black, and interrupted only by the sharp pinpoints of stars, carried an air of finality. Naruto came in soon after with a towel around his waist, his skin still slightly flushed from the hot shower water. Without further ado, he dropped his towel and changed into a pair of thick flannel pajama pants with a white T-shirt, joining Sasuke in bed.

It was about ten now, and the Saturday night traffic on the roads had dwindled. The shower's warmth had not yet left Naruto, and it took considerable willpower on Sasuke's part not to curl up into him, not to fondle him. It was cold and windy outside, and some of that frigid air had found its way in.

"Fuck, I'm tired," Naruto groaned.

"Want to sleep?"

"Mhm," Naruto muttered back.

They were silent for a while until Naruto wrapped his arm around Sasuke, holding him tightly into his body as if someone were about to tear him away.

"I love you, Sasuke."

The words seemed to come out of nowhere, breaking the near perfect silence in the room. Sasuke breathed in heavily. He should say it back. He knew he should. His tongue was clumsy. His chest didn't let go of that air.

"We may be young, but I know," Naruto continued. "I've never been so damned sure of anything in my life. I love you, and no matter what happens, I'll never stop loving you until the day I die. I want you to know that."

Sasuke stared forward unblinkingly, his heart beating heavily and his mouth dry. He knew that Naruto's words were supposed to reassure them, but they felt so painful. Sasuke had found something beautiful. Why did Naruto have to leave? Would this be the last time they'd ever fall asleep together? Sasuke wedged his head between Naruto's face and his shoulder.

"This really sucks, you know that?" Sasuke mumbled under his breath in a low and quiet voice.

"Believe me," Naruto said tiredly. "I know."

* * *

 

Wrapped up in fetal position between the sheets, Sasuke felt himself gain consciousness. If he just didn't open his eyes, maybe he could fall back to sleep. Sometimes if he opened his eyes, forcing his body to acclimatize to the light, or lack thereof, and assess its surroundings, it was already too late to drift back off to sleep. It couldn't have been morning yet. The scenery behind his eyelids was still purely black.

The room was chilly. Now that Itachi was recovering, they didn't run the heat quite as often. Sasuke rolled over, searching for a familiar warm body to latch onto but finding only the cool night air. Sasuke groaned, trying not to think too much but failing.

He hoped that Naruto wasn't upset. Perhaps it was best to join Naruto, if he was awake at such a time. Whatever time they had together would be limited for quite a while now.

He allowed his eyes to open. His bedroom door was still closed. His phone rested on his bedstand, its tiny red light contrasting with the darkness as it received a charge from the wall. His green alarm clock told him that it was 1:08.

Sasuke lay on back, his hands clasped on his stomach as he stared up at the ceiling. He glanced at the modest illumination from the street lights coming in through his bedroom window. His pupils constricted as they adjusted to the light, and he felt himself begin to awaken. He rested for a couple minutes. He hoped that Naruto would come back in the interim, but when Naruto still hadn't returned, he decided to search for him.

Upon removing the covers, a cold rush of air met his warm body. He rubbed his upper arms with each opposing hand to warm his body up, swearing under his breath. He couldn't call out Naruto's name, or he'd surely wake Itachi. So he trudged into the bathroom, finding no one there. He took the opportunity to use the restroom and wash his hands, his mind becoming increasingly alert as he performed these routine tasks.

He silently walked downstairs. The lights were off on the lower floor. Turning on the lights, he wondered if Naruto was trying to avoid being spotted. The unoccupied living room was fully visible from the stairway. There was also no one in the kitchen. No one in Itachi's office.

Where was Naruto? A hint of uneasiness announced itself, but Sasuke told himself that he should at least wait to react until he'd done a proper check. He grit his teeth as he opened the front door, goosebumps forming immediately. It was raining. Maybe Naruto had gone outside, perhaps to watch the stars as they always used to. Naruto was sentimental like that.

But he wasn't in the front yard either. His paces now quick and agitated, Sasuke reentered the house. There was only one room left. The master bedroom. Sasuke tiptoed up the stairs. He had to check the _whole_ house.

He very silently opened Itachi's bedroom door, able to just barely see in through the weak light coming in through Itachi's window. Itachi was sleeping deeply, thanks to the Vicodin he'd taken to knock out the pain. No Naruto to be found, not so surprisingly. Itachi's bathroom was also empty. Sasuke contained himself, still tiptoeing until he gently closed Itachi's door. He returned to his own room, pacing back and forth. Uneasiness had given way to anxiety.

What the hell was going on? _Where_ was Naruto? He checked his closet, yanking the door open in a huff. It wasn't all that likely that Naruto had retreated there out of anxiety or whatnot, but where else was there to check?

He quickly moved downstairs, his heart rate picking up as he began to consider the horrible possibility that Naruto was nowhere nearby. He checked the closets, under tables… He swung the chairs away gracelessly. What else was there to do? No, he couldn't be gone. It had to be…some tasteless prank, or maybe just Naruto being his strange self. But all of his searching was futile.

Sasuke swallowed hard, resting his head in his hand. Where the fuck _was_ he?

"Fuck…" Sasuke hissed.

Sasuke’s throat felt like it would close. He was winded, seemingly from out of nowhere. He tried to keep himself from gasping inhales, which he knew could cause him to hyperventilate. He knew that he was on the brink of having a panic attack. He bit his bottom lip harshly, jolting himself into reality and tasting the slightest bit of blood. He had to stay calm.

He returned to his bedroom, turning on the lights and pacing back forth. What did this mean? What would he do now? He looked at his clock, noting that it was 1:15. Maybe Naruto had gone out for a walk. At this hour, and in this weather? It wasn't exactly a safe area either, at this hour. Surely Naruto knew that. He didn't want to think the worst. No, he refused to think the worst. Naruto couldn't have… No. Naruto would never do that.

He had woken up several minutes before 1:08, and it was 1:16 now. Naruto's body warmth was long gone by the time Sasuke awoke. He reached for the cell phone by his bed. Naruto didn't even have a phone. He didn't know why he was bothering, but hell, if he had bothered to check Itachi's _bathroom_ , he might as well check his cell phone messages while he was at it. He grabbed the phone and picked it up.

A folded piece of notebook paper was stuck to the back of the phone's plastic case. It had been completely out of view, concealed between the phone and the bedstand. It separated, swishing back and forth in the air as it slowly made its way to the floor. Sasuke watched its path, dumbfounded, his mind rapidly imagining a dozen different messages that could have been on this lined paper.

Dread turned his stomach cold. The note was folded once, horizontally. It landed on its edge, Naruto's sloppy handwriting barely visible. His alarm clock changed to 1:17 as Sasuke stared at the ground, frozen by shock for several seconds before bending over and reaching for the paper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yesss, last chapter was the calm before the storm, and I've left you with this heinous cliffhanger. Sorry not sorry.  
> I'm a bit evil.
> 
> But genuinely AM sorry for missing the chapter deadline again. Life has been a rough one recently.
> 
> Anyhow, hope everyone likes it. I have been loving everyone's comments. You guys are amazing.


	55. Chapter 55

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my opinion, this is the darkest chapter in this story. It delves into Naruto's memories.
> 
> The purpose of this is to build out Naruto's character and provide context into his thought process.
> 
> There are no major plot points in this chapter, so you can skip it and start reading again on chapter 56 if you please. If this is triggering at any point, please stop reading. Your emotional well-being is more important than a fan fic. <3

It occurred to Naruto that he was being irrational. After all, he'd decided weeks ago that he was going to turn himself in. He'd made that decision in his right mind, with the input of two very intelligent and concerned people. He had told Sasuke that he would do this. They'd all agreed on it. And now, at the last minute, he decided to run.

Yet he'd made another promise, much less recently. Should he return to Sasuke? Was he making the wrong decision? No… He was forgetting his promise. His _first_ promise. He needed to remind himself. Naruto didn't have a mirror, so he tentatively lifted his hand up and ran his palm over his cheek. They were still there.

Of course. Of course they were still there. They'd be there until the day he died, be that at the age of thirty or ninety. The jagged course left behind by his foster parent's knife could be felt through most any fabric. His face and clothes were still wet, along with the cement beneath him. It had been raining when he'd escaped, but it had let up for now. He shivered in the cold, watching his breath condensate and then disappear in front of him.

But there was a message being relayed through his brain, and it almost seemed as though a voice, distant and figurative but strong, was screaming at him to go back. It told him that things would be different this time, now that he had Sasuke and Itachi on his side.

Yet there was another, a voice that seemed much nearer to him, so close that it felt as though it was stuck inside his ear drums. "Remember." As the voices in his head feuded, he sought to remember this first promise and relieve himself of this conflict. He concentrated, and the memories flooded his psyche with a crash and a bang like a tidal wave pummels a rickety lifeguard's shack by the shore.

* * *

 

The old man's kisses usually tasted like scotch. They were sloppy, his stubbly and wizened chin rough against Naruto's soft, prepubescent flesh, and there was saliva on Naruto's cheek now. Naruto wiped it away when his father wasn't looking.

His father was a man of modest height, several inches taller than Naruto was. He was just a hair overweight and had a beer belly and thick fingers. He was generally averse to wearing anything more formal than baggy and poorly fitting blue jeans and T-shirts. He tended to stare off into space and forget what he'd been talking about in the middle of sentences.

He had fat where large muscles used to be, which Naruto could tell by looking at his old pictures. At one point, he'd been a football player. He never got to try out for pro, however, because he tore his ACL during a team practice.

He had several wrinkles on his face and purely grey hair, though it was still thick. He was only forty-three years old, but he looked closer to sixty. He was aware of this, and he'd told Naruto with a dry smile, "I know I don't look my age, but hey, life'll do that to you." Just two years ago, he'd lost his wife to lung cancer.

Naruto's father looked at him, his bloodshot eyes glassy and brimming with tears. He told Naruto with a slur, "You're all I have left, d'you understand?"

Naruto didn't like the way his dad's kisses tasted, but he did like the way he was looking at him right now, the way his eyes cherished Naruto's presence as if he were an angel, the last bright thing left in his dark world. It wasn't all that bad, this new living situation. His foster father was a little cracked; there was no getting around that. But he was a good man.

Naruto's past family had to given him up due to money issues, though Naruto always found reasons to blame himself. His former parents were more upset that Naruto was, who, not even a teenager yet, reassured them that he would be just fine. He'd been with them for two years, but he'd kept himself distant. His heart was nearly unscathed.

This was an acquired skill for Naruto. It was especially difficult to accomplish for a boy with a heart as large as his was, so needy of acknowledgement and love, but it was necessary. He'd been moved around a few too many times to allow himself to get attached. The family before his last got rid of him simply because they were tired of raising a child. There were no guarantees here.

But something about this man… About the way he looked at Naruto, the way he so dependently _needed_ him… It drew Naruto close to him, because he knew he was loved and necessary. His father probably needed him more than he needed his father, and that reassured him. This was something he'd never encountered before.

And he hated the way his father cried, sounding so mortally wounded and crushed. He hated watching his suffering, because despite himself, he _had_ become attached. He wanted to fix his father. He wanted to save him. He wanted to be important. He wanted to be loved.

"It's okay. I'm here to stay," Naruto answered with a grin. "You won't ever be alone again."

Naruto's father began to sob, drool slipping down his chin. He was too drunk to stand.

"Oh thank you. _Thank you_ , Naruto. You're the best son I could have ever asked for."

For the first time in years, Naruto could see a damned good reason why he was alive.

* * *

It was the day Naruto had finished middle school. It was only him and his father present. He'd allowed Naruto to go out with his boyfriend later. Naruto had feared that his father would become jealous if Naruto became romantically involved, especially in a same sex relationship, but it didn't seem to bother him at all. It wasn't as if this relationship were all that serious, whatever the case.

His parent was holding a video camera, smiling.

"Now, open up your presents."

Naruto grinned back at the camera, giving a peace sign. He unwrapped the shiny orange wrapping paper (his foster father had known his favorite color) to reveal a brand new PS3. Naruto's mouth gaped open as he stared at the graduation present in awe.

"Holy crap! How'd you afford this?!"

"Graveyard shift," the man answered with a tsk of the tongue. He was sober.

There were several other presents in front of them that he had yet to get to. This might just take a while.

"Wow, thanks, Dad!"

Yes, Naruto confirmed, he was being spoiled rotten.

* * *

 

"She's dead! She's dead! _Shit!_ I can't live anymore! I want to die!"

The scotch was spilling onto the carpet. His father had stepped on broken glass, and he was trailing blood throughout the house while bawling deliriously. He didn't realize he was bleeding.

"Stop!"

Naruto yanked on the man's sleeve. Since Naruto's body didn't even come up to his father's shoulders, Naruto had to pull his father downwards to peck him on the lips. He remained there for a moment, until the man stilled.

"It's okay, Dad. It's okay."

The man held Naruto's body tightly into his own, and again, he wept, sounding like an injured animal.

* * *

Eating dinner now. Rotisserie chicken from Walmart. His father wanted whiskey with that.

"Our new neighbor is watching us."

"What?" Naruto asked, scrunching his brows. "What makes ya think that?"

"I can tell by the way that cunt smiles," his father spat out, his eyes narrowed as he squeezed his fork in his fist.

"Ah… Okay then," Naruto answered, not knowing how to respond. He was, truth be told, unnerved by the way his father had been acting lately. The man's green eyes were ablaze. He wasn't drunk enough for this sort of behavior. What was happening to him?

"She's a fucking _liar_ ," he shouted, the fork flipping onto the floor as he pounded his fist on the table.

Naruto swallowed hard. He didn't want to say anything. Their new neighbor was actually very pleasant. When Naruto skateboarded outside of her house, she brought out a helmet for him to wear that had belonged to her son.

But he didn't want to defend her. He was afraid of what would happen if he disagreed with his dad when he was like this. Naruto's hand, sweaty and a little awkward, reached for his knife, his forearm bumping the small salad plate that had been set to the side. It fell to the ground and shattered. Naruto was _terrified_.

"YOU."

In a split second, his father stood up, his chair falling down behind him. He stormed towards Naruto, who suddenly felt very, very small, grabbing Naruto by the wrist and jerking up upwards.

"Look at what you did, you piece of shit!"

Naruto screamed. He'd wanted to stay silent so as not to provide any reason for conflict, but he couldn't help it. That feeling that shot through his wrist was excruciating, panging up all the way to his upper arm. Naruto held up his hand, which torqued to the left grotesquely, the bones of his wrist unnaturally poking out. Was his wrist broken? His father stared at it, mouth open.

"Oh God, Naruto…"

Naruto was too overwhelmed with the situation to even be angry. He began to hyperventilate, taking a clumsy step away from the man.

"What have I done? Oh my God, Naruto, I'm so sorry. My poor boy…"

He reached out for Naruto, seeking to hold him. Naruto took another step back, his blue eyes widened in shock.

"It's okay. It's okay. We'll go to the ER. We'll tell them you fell."

His father fell to his knees and wept.

* * *

Naruto's father kissed him every night now. They always tasted of some sort of alcohol, and sometimes, even worse, of vomit. When Naruto kissed his boyfriend, he oftentimes remembered his father and imagined the taste of liquor. He would then have to stop, which Naruto always had some bullshit excuse for. His relationship with his boyfriend was a casual one anyhow, so the other male didn't bother pushing it.

But he had heard a lot about molestation. He knew what it was. He went to the library and read some books on it. He read about the ways that molestation can affect someone throughout their life. He didn't know if he would go so far as to call this molestation, but this was not normal. None of his other foster parents had ever done this. The other kids weren't kissed by their parents the way his father kissed him.

Something was…wrong at home. Very wrong. His father was frightening him. Fortunately, his father hadn't injured him again after he sent Naruto to the hospital for his wrist, but he was growing increasingly delusional and detached from reality.

His comments about their neighbor were just the beginning. He was drinking more often. He told Naruto that his boss was trying to poison him, and that the doctor Naruto was going to for his wrist had implanted a tracking chip in him. He couldn't abandon his father, not when he really needed him. Naruto suggested that he see a therapist once, and it…hadn't ended well. Naruto's wrist was still in a splint from the night he broke his dish.

Naruto was scared. Should he tell someone? Should he run away? But who else did his father have? His wife was dead. He'd become too reclusive to make friends, isolating himself almost completely. It was only Naruto and him. Hadn't he told his father that he would always be there for him? He couldn't leave. His father _needed_ him. Still, he had to stop these strange dynamics.

He made sure that his dad was sober when he approached him. He was sitting on their couch, reading the paper.

"Dad, I have to say something to you."

Naruto's mouth was dry. He felt like running. He'd situated himself near a door, so that he could quickly escape if the conversation went badly. So many of his thoughts had been unspoken, but this would change tonight.

"Yes?"

"About… Us pretending and stuff…"

Naruto didn't have to specify. They both knew what he meant. His father granted him full attention, glancing at Naruto expectantly.

"I can't do it anymore."

The man stood abruptly.

"What?" he asked, as if there were a genuine misunderstanding.

Naruto had expected anger, but all he heard was shock and hurt. He wanted to help his father recover from his wife's death, but he knew now that this "pretending" would get both of them nowhere. Naruto had used it as his own crutch, convincing himself that he could not possibly be abandoned if he meant so much to this man. Naruto even felt a little guilty about rejecting his father like this, but he knew that he was making the healthiest decision for both of them.

"You know I love you. You're my father. But this whole… I won't kiss you anymore. It's… I don't think it's healthy."

Naruto's father stared back at him dumbly, as if Naruto had just struck him.

"I'm… I'm sorry…" Naruto stammered, his guilt growing stronger.

His father turned heel and wandered out of the room, now deaf to every one of Naruto's words.

Naruto knew that this couldn't possibly be so easy. Something was definitely off. The hours passed, and now it was almost midnight. His father hadn't sought him out yet, so it was probably safe to sleep. He anxiously wondered what awaited him tomorrow. After tossing and turning for a while, he drifted off.

* * *

He was rocked as his bed was indented. Hands and legs on all four sides, weight on his injured wrist. Fuck, his _wrist_. The pain seized his forearm. Scotch, being breathed into his face.

"Rae?"

Naruto's eyes shot open. Rae? That was… His father's late wife.

"Rae!" he screamed, saliva propelled into Naruto's face. Oh God, his father was right _on_ him. He kissed Naruto messily, shoving his tongue into his mouth. Naruto turned his face to the side, but his father was too intoxicated to notice that he was now only slobbering all over Naruto's cheek. The taste of scotch was so strong. His drunken hands started feeling up Naruto’s stomach under his shirt, his chest…

Naruto stared back at his father, his body quivering.

"RAE!"

His hand slid down Naruto's sleep pants, and…fuck…fuck…

"Answer me, Rae!"

It slid lower.

"ANSWER ME!"

Fuck this. Fuck this loser. Fuck him and his issues. Was he going to let himself get _raped_ tonight because this asshole had a pathetic excuse for a life? No. He'd dealt with enough. He would draw the line here.

Naruto scooted up on the bed, using whatever leverage he had to propel his fist directly into his father's face. As drunk as the man was, he didn't have quick enough reflexes to dodge, blood beginning to pour down his lips and chin. He didn't bother to wipe it up, the drops falling onto Naruto's chest.

"Get _away_ from me, you fucking psycho!" Naruto roared.

His father laughed and reached into his pocket. Partially obscured by the dark, he pulled out an object, flipping it open with a quick wrist movement.

A knife.

Naruto swore he felt his heart stop. Oh God… Was he going to…

A hand on his throat.

Couldn't breathe.

Pinned… He _had_ to move!

Couldn't. Couldn't budge, smell of scotch, siren on the street, his body sweaty on the covers… The blue cotton stuck on his sweating shoulder blade.

Air… He needed air. Can't breathe. Can't breathe. Can't breathe.

His father was so strong.

Suffocating.

Was he dying?

On his face… Pain. Searing, agonizing pain. Oh God… He couldn't scream because he couldn't breathe, only able to emit choked gags. He was being strangled. He was being cut. Would he move? Would he fight?

Or would this man slit his throat?

Something wet poured down his face. Blood.

It happened again, just below it, Naruto screaming as he was able to get in the slightest gasp of air as he felt that pop of the knife puncturing his skin. He struggled, trying to turn his face as his father's hand on his neck kept him steady. The blade dragged down his cheek. When Naruto cut wrapping paper last Christmas, his sharp scissors slid through it so neatly.

Another.

His face was stinging, a large mass of burning pain. He could no longer feel the individual cuts. It felt like his entire cheek was an open, bleeding wound.

"RAE IS DEAD! YOU ARE NOT RAE!"

Saliva sprayed into his eyes as his father screamed. What if he wouldn't stop with his face? When would this end? Whenever his father lifted the knife up, Naruto feared that he would slit his throat. Would he die tonight?

A dog had barked seven times.

He turned Naruto's head roughly, and Naruto was now able to breathe. Oh God, no… Not the _other_ cheek…

Should he fight? Should he? No, it was better to be disfigured than to die. He wanted to live. It would only take one stroke against his throat, and even still there was no guarantee that this wouldn't happen. He was only fourteen. He didn't want to die.

"Stop!" Naruto choked out, panting frantically, his throat agonizingly sore. "It's your son!"

His father didn't hear him.

A new cut on unmarred skin, deep. Naruto wondered if the knife would go right through the flesh of his cheek, to his jaw. Naruto struggled and jerked his neck, quickly wheezing in air during a brief window of opportunity.

"DAD! STOP! PLEASE!"

Naruto was sobbing, but it didn't matter.

"Get off!"

As Naruto yelled, some of his blood dripped into his mouth. He hardly processed the metallic taste of his own blood.

Another.

"Dad…"

He wanted to disappear. Go away. Not exist. He was losing too much blood. His hands and feet were going numb. His father's hand wasn't even on Naruto's throat anymore, and he still was hardly breathing. Naruto stared at the ceiling listlessly. Was he going to die?

And his father was gone. Just like that. He left the room and slammed the door behind him.

Naruto dared not make a sound. His face, the pillow… They were drenched with what Naruto could only assume to his blood. He knew he should be glad to be alive, but his chest felt so tight, like he could hardly breathe. He felt that it was too dangerous to breathe. What if his father heard the air leave and exit his body? His mind told him that his father could be _anywhere_. In the shadows, behind him, staring him down like a predatory watches its prey...

He lay there for a while. He heard glass and porcelain breaking downstairs. He tiptoed over to his door as quietly as possible and locked it. His father had a key, but a locked door would at least buy Naruto a couple seconds so that he could barricade the door. He wouldn't do so now, as the noise of moving large objects was bound to draw attention to him. He wished he had a phone in his room.

He very tentatively made it over to the mirror by his desk. He didn't dare to turn the light on. He deftly and silently groped for a small flashlight he kept by his bed in case of power outages, finding it a little more quickly than he would have liked. He pointed the flashlight down at the desk and turned it on, the dark brown wood pattern illuminated. Naruto stared down at it.

His heart was going berserk. He fought back vomit. His hands were covered in a cold sweat, trembling. He could see now that the collar of his shirt was wet with blood. His entire face seemed to sting. The pain was horrible.

He touched his cheek gingerly and winced, his hand coming back blood-soaked. Yet as much as he dreaded the sight of his face, he _had_ to see it. He just had to. He closed his eyes, then angled his face towards the mirror, keeping his eyes shut. He shined the flashlight into the mirror, opened his eyes…

He bit his tongue to avoid gasping. He felt like he was going to retch. It was even worse than he'd suspected. It appeared that muscle had been exposed. The knife had gone straight through the dense nerve endings of the epidermis.

Was this him? _His_ face? Was this really happening right now? It felt unreal. He'd heard people say it before, but he still found himself genuinely praying that this was some horrible nightmare. They'd pinch themselves to try to wake up. He'd had a nightmare once where both of his eyes had been gouged out, so was it really so impossible? But he knew, deep down. Very unfortunately, this was reality.

“I’m...deformed.”

Naruto was too frightened to say this aloud, but he just as clearly heard it spoken in his head.

He didn't consider himself to be particularly vain, but… Was this what his face would look like now? He momentarily humored the possibility that the scars would fade, perhaps be hardly visible someday. Seriously? He'd always been told he was an optimist, but he wasn't delusional.

His eyes stung as they began to tear. He clenched down his teeth hard. No. He would _not_ lose his wits now. His father was still awake, and there was a chance he'd come back for him. Naruto was still alive. He'd survived, but maybe next time, he wouldn't be so lucky. He waited in dead silence. Usually, his father would pass out drunk at some point in the night. He prayed that tonight would not be an exception. What he wouldn't give to see the next sunrise…

And sure enough, he heard his father's snores as he oh so gently opened his door, a couple hours later. He grabbed some snacks in his room for sustenance, his wallet, and a thick jacket, stuffing them into his backpack. He wiped off his face the best he could, packing several more tissues for such purposes into his orange backpack.

He dressed himself, using whatever pieces of clothing that needed the least rummaging. He made his way to the stairs. With every footstep, he felt his anxiety build. He felt as if he were about to hyperventilate, but he could not allow himself to be heard. Every single snore he heard from his father was a reassurance.

He skipped over the third to last step, because it creaked. His heart thudded as he reached the bottom step, then walked to the front door. It was all he could do not to run. The lights were on downstairs, but his father was out cold on the kitchen floor, surrounded by broken dishes. He quietly unlocked the door and walked outside. He closed the door behind him. It almost seemed too good to be true. He'd made it. God… He'd escaped! He'd _lived_!

He ran now. He had to run. He never wanted anything like this to happen again. He'd hide from _everyone_. He ran for hours, his backpack colliding into his back with each frantic stride. He ran through their town to the next. The spit dried in his mouth, the bleeding began to stop, and his chest rasped with every intake of air. He had taken the less traveled ways in the cover of night, hoping not to be spotted. What would they do if they found him? Turn him back to the very same system that did this to his face, almost _killed_ him? Hell no.

Finally, he grew tired. He tucked himself up against a chipped old stucco wall for the night. He would rest, but he would not sleep. He remembered all too well what had happened the last time he slept. When he grew too tired, he would bite the inside of his cheeks, even though, or perhaps because, it was positively excruciating. At least the cuts had not gone all the way through. And it was then that he made a promise to himself.

"Uzumaki Naruto," he had mumbled under his breath, knowing that no one could hear him, "Promise that you'll never go back. You're on your own now. If that ever gets too tough for you, remember how you feel _right now_."

Tears were starting to fall from Naruto's cheeks, the salty water stinging his wounds slightly. He had to say this aloud. A promise made in his head would never be as strong. He had to speak, addressing himself by his full name like a parent talks to a child when they're being serious.

He had to remember the sound of his voice, the way it trembled because of how hurt, terrified, and sad he was. Time could dull emotions. He might eventually wonder if going back wouldn't be so dangerous. If he allowed time to deteriorate his resolve, something like this could happen all over again. He had to remain true to his convictions.

"Remember last night. Look in the fucking mirror if the memories get too hazy. Promise you'll never go back. Promise you won't forget."

He began to cry, keeping himself silent that summer night so that he would not be heard. It took him a while until he could whisper again to himself, "I promise. I promise. I promise."

* * *

The next day, he wandered farther. He had no idea what he was doing. After all, he'd never _planned_ on becoming homeless. He was every bit as clueless as any other kid would be. He walked for several hours more as soon as the sun came up. He was leaving everything behind. His school, his boyfriend, his friends (which, admittedly, he didn't have very many of)… He hadn't been in Bakersfield long enough to settle, really.

Naruto had yet to sleep, but someone was bound to discover that he was missing. The heat of the desert's summer sun sapped his energy from him. He drank water wherever he found it. He had to keep running, so he'd be far away by the time people started looking for him. He ran by farms, the foothills of mountains, and diners.

He made it into the next town, and then the next. Soon, he would be near the county line. He was glad for that at least. All of the sweat he'd worked up running soaked into his wrist splint, causing the area to itch. He took a break to eat some dry Captain Crunch, which helped him feel somewhat rejuvenated and raised his blood sugar. His face had stopped bleeding completely, but he refused to touch it. It was painful as all hell.

By evening, he ran into a small community of homeless people. The days were long this time of year, so although it was almost eight, the sky had hardly darkened. Naruto felt sick to his stomach now. He wondered if he was just hungry, or if perhaps he had drunk some bad water. As he approached the group, the air mercifully chilled, Naruto wondered if this what they called skid row. He waved his arm.

"Um… Hello?"

A few of the bums looked over at him, indubitably shocked due to the fact that he his face was covered in blood. One with long, bushy white hair moved forward, a conspicuous mole on his cheek.

"Kid, what the hell happened to your face?"

"Uh…" Naruto answered, staring at the ground.

"Never mind. You don't gotta answer that. People tell me I have no filter, if you can believe it," the man told him, ending his final sentence with a chuckle.

Naruto would have ordinarily laughed, but his sense of humor seemed to have dried out of him. He'd only slept about two hours in the past two days, and he'd hardly had anything to eat. He'd just almost died, for Christ's sake. He wasn't exactly in a laughing mood, and the white-haired man seemed to realize that.

He motioned to a few other vagrants, who brought out things like bottled water and gauze. This man seemed to be a leader of sorts.

"Name's Jiraiya, by the way."

Naruto nodded. Words didn’t come easily to him. He had yet to speak to anyone after all of this.

"What's your name?"

"Naruto," he stated rather emotionlessly, his ordinarily bright blue eyes so dull. It wasn't often he gave himself such a lackluster introduction.

"Well, Naruto, do you mind if we clean you up?"

Naruto shook his head silently, his facial expression blank. Jiraiya doused his hands in rubbing alcohol, and then used water to remove the dried blood from his face. The old man tilted his head off to the side and hacked, pausing his movements momentarily. Naruto wondered if it was sick, but at least he'd sterilized his hands before cleaning Naruto's face.

"Hey," Jiraiya spoke, gesturing to a small child, who seemed to be with them as well. "Go into that drug store and jack us some hydrogen peroxide and triple antibiotic ointment, would ya?"

The kid nodded, walking towards the store. Naruto would have protested to shoplifting, especially when done by a _child_ on his account, but… Fuck, he didn't have the energy to question any of this. Soon enough, Jiraiya doused his cheeks in hydrogen peroxide. It stung just slightly and bubbled, reddish clumps of foam falling to the ground. Afterward, Jiraiya placed ointment on his cheeks and gauzed them up. Naruto tried not to wince, but he did a poor job. The surrounding tissue was inflamed and angry.

Naruto was thankful, to say the least. He didn't know what he would have done otherwise. He was honestly too dazed to even take care of himself. Or maybe he just couldn’t look at his own reflection.

"I haven't seen you around here before. Where are you from?"

"Bakersfield," Naruto said listlessly.

"Woah, all the way out there? What made you choose this sorry excuse for a town?"

Naruto shrugged.

"I'm headed for the county line."

Naruto sat down, slumped, and took out his large bag of Skittles, munching on a handful hungrily.

"Hey uh… Kid, I'm not meaning to pry, but you're new to this lifestyle, aren't you?"

"It's that obvious?" Naruto asked, sounding rather disheartened.

"Er…" Jiraiya trailed off, glancing at the Skittles bag. "I'll tell you what. Stay here a bit. I'll show you the ropes. Then you can continue on your grand adventure. Sound good?"

Naruto paused to consider Jiraiya for a while. Could he really trust that guy? He was against it. After what had just happened, he wasn't exactly comfortable around other human beings. But what other choice did he have? He couldn't last like this for long. He wondered what would have happened if he hadn't run into this group. At least his wounds had been tended to now.

"Okay…"

Naruto sat with the group, who chattered together vividly. Naruto was silent, staring at the ground, lost in his head. Hours passed, and there was no change.

"Poor child…" Naruto heard one of the female vagrants whisper. "He came here caked in blood… He looks like he's been through hell."

Jiraiya stared over at Naruto for several moments, pensively. He then noted a woman with long blond hair and a significant amount of cleavage approached them, wearing high heeled shoes, leggings, and a tank top.

"I know what'll cheer him up."

Jiraiya sat next to Naruto again, a cup with some change in it in hand.

"Hey, kid…"

"My name is Naruto," Naruto corrected tiredly, beginning to get sick of the nickname.

"Yeah, whatever. Just watch the show."

And now she was in earshot.

"Change, please! From such a beautiful girl, I would die happy!"

Naruto tried not to roll his eyes. The woman giggled, bending over and placing a quarter into Jiraiya's cup, which he left on his lap. He didn't seem to want to move the cup up for her. Her chest, with its all too visible cleavage, had come down to eye level with Naruto, and while the woman was fixated on donating the coin, Jiraiya quickly gestured Naruto to look.

"Thank you so much, dear. It's always appreciated for a poor old man who's down on his luck."

The woman nodded, the clacking of her heels fading as she left them down the sidewalk. Jiraiya waited until she was out of earshot.

"Did you see the jugs on that one?!" Jiraiya said, quickly gesturing to the now disappearing woman.

"What?" Naruto asked, too stunned by Jiraiya's comment to properly react.

"That was… A D maybe? No… No way. A double D at least. Now _that's_ what I call a rack!"

Naruto stared at Jiraiya vapidly for a moment.

"You know, I thought you were just some nice old man at first, but you're actually a total pervert."

This guy had to be in his seventies. He'd had it with creepy old men lately. However, something told him that he wouldn't have to worry about this one. Jiraiya swatted at him.

"Feh! Come on, you're at the age where you can appreciate something like that, right? What are you, gay?"

"Yes."

Jiraiya blinked for a few moments, taking a while to digest that information.

"Oh, this is good. So maybe you can explain something to me. See that guy?"

Jiraiya pointed at a man getting into his parked car, farther down the block. Naruto didn't like where this is going.

"Is he attractive to you?"

"Average?"

"And what about his ass? I mean, what exactly does a gay man look for when it comes to asses? Flat? More of a chiseled look? …Bubbly?"

Naruto stared, agape and a little horrified.

"I mean to you… What would you rate me, on a scale of one to ten?"

"I'm going now," Naruto sighed, moving to get up.

Jiraiya quickly reached out for Naruto's forearm. He didn't grab it; he just rested his hand there, respectfully minding Naruto's boundaries.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I know I'm a pervert. Trust me, when you've been slapped as many times as I have, you get the idea."

"This isn't reassuring me. At all."

Jiraiya began to hack again, into his forearm. He put it back to his side, but Naruto _swore_ he saw something dark in the illumination of the street lights..

"Did you just cough up blood?"

"Ah, don't worry about that," Jiraiya told him. "It comes and goes."

Naruto stared at him skeptically for a while.

"That's… Can't you go to a doctor?" Naruto asked. Despite how overwhelmed he currently was, he couldn't just watch someone hack up blood and not say anything about it. He could never be so calloused. "They have free clinics around here and all, don't they?"

"Look, kid…" Jiraiya responded, his voice raspy. "We all have reasons to hide."

* * *

Naruto stayed with Jiraiya for far longer than he had intended. He taught him many things: how to get good drinking water, how to beg, how to know where to stake out, how to deal with other vagrants…

Jiraiya was a better teacher than he could have asked for, despite his annoying tendency to ogle every set of tits that came their way. That change cup trick was Jiraiya's signature among the local homeless folk. It was as if he could never get over the fact that yes, females have breasts.

The first time Naruto saw Jiraiya get slapped by a woman, about a week after he joined Jiraiya's crew, he laughed. And so did Jiraiya, because in the whole week Naruto had been there, the boy had yet to let out so much as a chuckle. Unfortunately for Jiraiya, this resulted in him being slapped a second time.

Naruto began to sleep better at night. As days passed with him eating so little, his hunger began to diminish as his metabolism entered starvation mode. He was better rested. Yet it disturbed him to be in Kern County as the weeks passed, though he was three cities away from Bakersfield. He wasn't moving.

Jiraiya's cough was getting worse. It was well over one month now that Naruto had lived with them. It wasn't all horrible. Honestly, the most difficult day was probably the day they took his gauze off for good. He'd tried to avoid his own reflection for a while. It made him feel self-conscious, but even more than that, it reminded him. Naruto figured he'd just have to get used to his new face. What other choice was there?

Yet he wasn't as uncomfortable as he'd imagined, though this was in no way easy. His skin had acquired the necessary callouses. His back was growing accustomed to sleeping on concrete. He got used to the hunger, watching the meat leave his bones. He was no longer considered a rookie amongst them. He had friends. The sunny disposition he had once been known so well for was quickly returning. He was building a life here, and that much was dangerous.

One night, Jiraiya became very ill. Naruto begged him, tears in his eyes, to go to the hospital. Jiraiya was vomiting blood, and he just couldn't seem to stop coughing.

"It's happened before, Naruto," Jiraiya reassured him in a soft voice. "It's just a spell."

The next morning, Naruto was awakened several minutes before sunrise by a wailing woman. She was looking into Jiraiya's tent, sobbing. Almost against his will, Naruto walked forward, glancing into the tent to see his mentor's body, dead and still. Jiraiya was gone.

And so Naruto left. He had to pass over the county line. He walked and kept walking. He walked through Kern County. Then he walked through Los Angeles County. And finally, he approached Orange County. He hadn't been there since he'd gone to Disneyland at the age of eight.

Almost halfway through Orange County, he stumbled across a church soup kitchen in a small suburb. The staff was friendly. The food was hot. And quickly, he fit in. He was far from Bakersfield. Perhaps he could rest here, if only for a little while.

One day, he met a boy his age at the soup kitchen. He had eyes nearly as dark as his sardonic attitude and jet black hair. He told Naruto that he only volunteered there because the California legal system had forced him to for breaking someone's nose. It was this seemingly trivial event that changed the course of Naruto's life. And it was this seemingly trivial event that caused him to forget that important promise he had made to himself what felt like a lifetime ago.

* * *

Naruto couldn't bring himself to remember any more. He couldn't bear it. Sobbing in the alleyway, he fell against the wall and sunk to the floor, his back and skull smacking into the asphalt. Unseen to Naruto, a slight amount of blood budded on Naruto's scalp at the impact. He didn't notice. It was impossible to notice anything other than his stomach commanding him to vomit, his heart beating so frantically that he had to clutch at his chest, and his lungs exhaling and inhaling so violently that his vision began to go black, his hands and feet gone numb. His eyes peered straight up into the sky. His breath fanned out in front of him in the cold air, each exhale adding to the billowing white mist juxtaposed against the clear black.

_"You're having a panic attack. It won't last more than a few minutes. You'll be fine."_

This is what Sasuke had said to him when he first had a panic attack in his presence. It had been the day that he had told Sasuke why he was homeless, why he had those scars on his face, what had happened between him and his father that made him resist the foster care system so. Sasuke's voice was so concerned and gentle. Naruto didn't know whether that memory made him happy or sad currently, but he basked in that last sentence regardless, the words as vivid as if Sasuke were speaking to him right now. "You'll be fine."

And he allowed it to calm him, still lying on the cold and damp black surface as his eyes glanced up at the equally black sky. It was a clear night, though horribly windy. Naruto burrowed into his thin jacket, which used to be Sasuke's. It still smelled like Sasuke. To distract himself, Naruto looked straight up at the stars that were right in front of his face, his misted breath slightly obscuring his view of the constellations.

Orion's belt. He'd known of that constellation for as long as he could remember. That one was easy. He had the foggiest memory of looking out of his window at the group home as a four-year-old, trying to figure out how Orion had gotten its name. A random staff member said it was a giant's belt, but where was the giant? People didn't usually make much sense to Naruto, so it was only fitting that their interpretation of the stars didn't either.

He allowed his eyes to drift over to whatever other constellation he could recognize. The Big Fox. The Little Fox. Pisces.

_"It's actually two fish, tied together by a string at the end of their tails."_

_Why_ … Why did he keep remembering Sasuke?

_"Seriously. It's a Greek myth. Aphrodite and her son, Eros, turned themselves into fish to escape the fire god. Then the two of them were tied together to make sure they didn't lose each other during the escape."_

Naruto cursed Aphrodite and Eros, indelibly intertwined in the face of adversity. An unrealistic part of his mind wished that Sasuke and he could elope and hide in some godforsaken corner of a forgotten city. It wouldn't matter if their house was a piece of shit, and they didn't even have internet or cable television.

Naruto would be Eros. The job description of "god of desire and attraction" didn't sound too shabby. Sasuke would definitely be Aphrodite, Naruto decided. With Sasuke's almost feminine good looks, the title "goddess of beauty" fit him perfectly, though even Naruto would never be foolish enough to say that to Sasuke's face.

But no, eloping would be even more selfish than what he was doing now. Itachi needed Sasuke. Sasuke had a phenomenal future in front of him and ambitious goals to achieve. Like hell would Naruto ever take that away from him.

He stared up at the sky, resentfully glaring at the Pisces constellation as if it were glaring right back at him. He remembered the excitement in Sasuke's voice the night they first looked up at the stars together. It had been the first time he'd ever heard the chronically bored and unimpressed Uchiha Sasuke speak with passion in his voice. He remembered how differently Sasuke looked with his glasses on.

That night, Naruto realized that even though he met Sasuke through court-appointed community service he'd received for breaking a kid's nose, Sasuke was kind of a nerd. And yes, he could be eager and curious and self-sacrificing and compassionate. Naruto felt fortunate to be one of the few people in this world to see this side of Sasuke. These were all things that Naruto saw because Sasuke had trusted him enough to _let_ him see it.

Sasuke had trusted him. And now Naruto was leaving him. Naruto was always the one who believed that Sasuke would forget about him. Yet Sasuke was popular. He'd find someone new, someone smarter, someone richer, someone not covered in scars, someone without so many fucking issues and leave Naruto for them.

Sasuke reassured Naruto every time he voiced these concerns, though Naruto only spoke poorly of himself rarely. Sasuke would call Naruto an idiot when he picked at the issue and tell him that his past did not dictate his worth. It was a perverse irony that Naruto would be the one to go.

Sasuke was always so afraid of losing people. He remembered the look on Sasuke's face the day that he took him in, when he found Naruto in this sketchy part of town with his body bruised and cut up. Sasuke had tended to Naruto's wounds gently. He seemed so scared of the fact that he could have lost Naruto.

How would Sasuke react to this? He remembered the way Sasuke had crumbled when he nearly lost Itachi, finding him unconscious in a pool of blood and vomit. Sasuke had been brave. He moved robotically and rationally, losing no time or energy to emotion. He kept Naruto away from him, because he knew that Naruto could force him to feel. He postponed everything. It was only after Sasuke knew that Itachi had lived that he expressed himself, thinking that he was alone.

And then, Sasuke cried. No, more accurately, Sasuke _wept_. He sobbed into Naruto’s arms, holding nothing back as his entire body was sapped of all its energy. Before that, Naruto had Naruto never seen so much as a teary eye from Sasuke, no matter how frightening his situation became. Sasuke wasn't the crying sort, but when he did cry, it was heartbreaking. Naruto saw Sasuke cry only once, and he didn't know if he could bear to see it again. Naruto wondered if he'd ever heard any sound in his lifetime that caused his heart to ache the way Sasuke's weeping did.

This was what losing people did to Sasuke. He knew that Sasuke tended to lose his cool and act irrationally when his loved ones were in danger because the thought of losing them terrified him. That was all Sasuke's temporary stint as a drug dealer had ever been. He'd lost his parents, and now he'd even lost a few of his friends. What else was Naruto doing but confirming all of Sasuke's fears? He tried not to remember Sasuke crying.

And even Itachi. It's true that he'd only known Itachi for a week, but Itachi had given Naruto somewhere to stay for two months. Itachi would start school again, and Sasuke would, once again, be alone. Hadn't he promised Itachi that he would take care of Sasuke? Would this be how he would repay the brothers' kindness?

Maybe it wasn't too late. Maybe Sasuke was still sleeping and hadn't read the note. Wouldn't it be different this time? Sasuke and Itachi both had his back. Maybe Naruto could slip back into the house and never tell Sasuke what he had almost done.

Even if the trains had been running when he'd originally arrived at the station, Naruto wondered, would he have even had the guts to get on? He couldn't handle imagining the sound of Sasuke's weeping every time Naruto looked up at night and saw Pisces over the years, wondering if Sasuke had cried just like that after he left.

No. No, no, no. The problem was not that he was being illogical and crumbling under last minute panic. The problem was that he let himself forget. He'd lived in this fairy tale existence with a man named Uchiha Sasuke. Those two months had been a dream that exceeded even his most optimistic fantasies, but all things must end. Even if he could never forgive himself for what he'd done to Sasuke, it was unfortunately just the way things had to be.

Was that really all the time it took for him to succumb to this sorry state? He had been isolated from reality, knowing only the safe and nurturing home of the Uchiha household and the demanding but rewarding tasks of the labor center. He'd forgotten what a scary, cruel, and fucked up place this world could be. It was true that he had some resources this time that he didn't have previously, but how could he take such a risk? He'd _promised_ himself.

His train wasn't coming until five in the morning, and the clock inside the liquor store read that it was almost four. He would wait. Dammit, if the trains ran by the same schedule on Sundays, he'd be halfway to Modesto by now. He wouldn't have had time to dick around in an alleyway having panic attacks and second guessing everything. It would have been done. Now he had to wait. All things must end, he told himself again.

The day they became lovers, Sasuke had mumbled with a small voice, "Naruto, if you have any choice in the matter, please don't leave me."

"Fuck!" Naruto shouted out as he kicked the dumpster hard, his voice and the sound of his sneaker against the flimsy metal dumpster bouncing off the alley walls.

 _"Fuuuck!"_ he yelled again, his voice echoing up and down the alley.

His face was red, veins popping out on his neck as he yelled. Naruto kicked over the nearby garbage can in his rage, even stomping on the trash and kicking it into the wall. He was beginning to feel nearly delirious. He wished that there were someone responsible for all of his problems. He wished he could beat the shit out of this person. While there were people who had wronged him, in the end, his current situation was a result of circumstance. There was no one to yell at, no bad guy to defeat. So all he could do was yell at the garbage and hope that no one would hear him. He _still_ didn't feel any better.

Naruto grasped at his arms tightly and clenched his teeth. He could do this. He was strong. He breathed in deeply, held his breath, and breathed out. He only had ninety more minutes. Then he'd be far away from the foster care system, hundreds of miles away where no one would be looking for him. He composed himself.

He'd return to Sasuke someday, but maybe not the day he turned eighteen. He'd wait until he had some money to his name and could afford the necessities. He wanted to be independent, not some leech. Then he'd find Sasuke. Sasuke would be in college. Maybe he'd be in love with someone else. But he just had to be in Sasuke's life again, even if Sasuke didn't want anything to do with him after this. It wasn't goodbye forever, he told himself. He'd make it up to Sasuke somehow. He'd find a way; he'd do _anything_. Just not _this_.

He could hardly believe that it was just several hours ago that he'd left. He had lain down with Sasuke that night trying not to think of what the next day would bring. The past several days, he'd thought of anything _but_ the horrible Sunday that lie ahead. Worrying about it wouldn't change anything, so why suffer unnecessarily?

Besides, he didn't want Sasuke and maybe even Itachi to have to deal with him having an emotional breakdown. He didn't know if he could handle this all currently. He just figured that when the time came, he'd have to nut up and go into the station regardless. He'd deal with it _then_. For now, the issue could still be crammed to the back of his mind, and he'd definitely take advantage of the fact.

It was that night, lying down in the silence, that he lost control of his thoughts. He couldn't sleep. He moved to his side, then to his stomach, then to his back, the sheets uncomfortably sticking to the cold sweat on his body. And as the hours passed, his panic grew. Was he really doing this? He couldn't believe that after all he'd gone through over the past year just to avoid the foster care system, he was now walking into it willingly.

He knew he had to be strong, but he was starting to wonder what, exactly, that entailed. Was strength holding true to their decision? And he did mean _their_ decision. They'd decided what he should do, and Naruto had gone along with it. After all, didn't he owe it to Sasuke, after all he'd done for him? And it seemed like a good decision at the time.

Now, however, he wondered if real strength was remaining true to the promise he'd made to himself long before he'd met Sasuke. Had time weakened his resolve? He decided that this was what he had to remain true to.

He couldn't go back into foster care. It was entirely possible that he could die, he thought. It had nearly happened once before. Who was to say it wouldn't happen again? He had promised himself. How could he call that promise meaningless now? He couldn't go back on that promise… No, he just couldn't.

So he very quietly got himself out of bed, hating himself as he wrote Sasuke a note and searched for somewhere to place it. He knew it was what he had to do, but it didn't make it any easier to swallow. He figured that the underside of Sasuke's cell phone would be a good place for the note. It wouldn't be obvious should Sasuke wake up in the night and glance at the bedstand, but once the morning came around, he'd find it quickly. He'd only have to check his phone.

Naruto grabbed just enough money to take a train up to northern California. It seemed to be a good climate, and he knew that at least the San Francisco area tended to be very tolerant of homeless people. According to the train schedule, the next train would leave at three. Of course, Naruto hadn't accounted for the fact that it was a Sunday. Dammit.

He readied himself, wearing Sasuke's clothes, which were the only garments at his disposal. He took Sasuke's least favorite jacket. He wished he could have taken Sasuke's photograph with him, but he had none. He stared at Sasuke as he slept, so that he would always remember what he looked like. He tried to imagine how Sasuke would change over the years, how maybe his jaw would become more pronounced, and his legs longer. This would be the Sasuke he would look for.

In the past, he had told Sasuke he wouldn't leave him. He _would_ come back. But not now. He sat against the liquor store wall with his knees up to his chest, draping his arms over his knees and resting his head on his forearms. He tried to tune all thought out, waiting for the sky to light up with the first traces of the sun. Despite the fact that he was placing hundreds of miles between them, he knew that he would see Sasuke again.


	56. Chapter 56

The paper sat on its side against Sasuke’s bedroom carpet, one sharp crease allowing it to maintain this position. When Sasuke had first noticed the note, fluttering as it neared the ground, thoughts crashed against each other in his head too quickly to be individually acknowledged. Sasuke knew what this meant. He just didn't want to believe it.

When the paper hit the floor, Sasuke's thoughts went quiet, and he could faintly hear his ears ring. He stared at the paper for a couple seconds before he mustered the resolve to pick it up, slowly bending over and approaching the ground. As Sasuke picked up the paper, he noticed Naruto's poor spelling and penmanship even at a glance. But then again, when was Naruto _ever_ graceful? He unfolded his paper, held his breath, and began to silently read.

_Sasuke-_

_Hey! So you have probably noticed by now that I am no longer of the present variety. See, I told you I had ninja skillz!_

Perfectly unamused, Sasuke rubbed at the bridge of his nose with his free hand. He momentarily wished Naruto was present for the sole purpose of getting decked in the face. He continued to read with both impatience and dread.

_Cheesey jokes aside… Sasuke, I'm sorry. I know I'm the biggest asshole on the planet, and you have every rite to hate me. I'm so sorry. But I realize now that I can't go back. I just can't._

"I can't go back."

For a moment, Sasuke didn't know if he could read any more, didn’t even _want_ to. He heard his heartbeat in his ears now, his stomach gone cold. Did he hate Naruto? How could he say this? He was leaving him. Just another name to add to the list.

But he didn't have time to let his fears boss his brain around. Naruto's handwriting was becoming increasingly hurried and messy as Sasuke read on. Sasuke tried to keep his hands steady, swallowing deeply as he mustered the resolve to continue.

_Don't bother looking for me. I'm farther than you'd ever think to look. I'll come back to you when I'm 18 and can stand on my own feet. I'll wait for you, but I won't expect you to wait for me. You don't owe me a damned thing. I'll find you somehow. I know that doesn't make up for this, but I'll do it anyway. Move on with your life. No one has ever made me as happy as you have. I love you forever._

_-Naruto_

Sasuke continued to stare for a moment after he had finished reading, stunned. He couldn't believe it. Two _years_. That idiot wanted to leave him for _two years_?!

And did that jackass even remember the reason Sasuke had taken him in to begin with? Some vagrant knived him, and intended to return to the same situation because it's "safer"? Even if Naruto's promise that he wouldn't find anyone else could be trusted, and to be honest, the credibility of Naruto's word was questionable to Sasuke now, something could still happen to Naruto during those two years.

In just one year, he'd already met a life or death situation. What if he got attacked again? What if he got sick? Did he plan on just hiding another two years, reaching adulthood without even a portion of a high school education? What the hell was wrong with that kid's brain?

And what's more, he was fucking leaving him for two years! There was no guarantee he'd actually make it back in two years. And if Naruto just chose not to find him, it wouldn’t be the first time he’d lied to Sasuke. This could be the last time Sasuke ever heard from him. He'd told Sasuke that he was going back to the foster care system weeks ago! Had he been lying the entire time? He remembered Naruto's words from earlier.

_"We may be young, but I know. I've never been so damned sure of anything in my life. I love you, and no matter what happens, I'll never stop loving you until the day I die. I want you to know that."_

Sasuke forgot to breathe. Even at the time, Sasuke thought that the statement sounded awfully final and dramatic, but he figured that it was fitting, given their situation.

Was that…Naruto saying goodbye to him? If Sasuke had only found the proper words, would this still be happening? Really, the words were not that difficult to find… He knew what he should have said, even at the time. It was just that those three words had always seemed to stick in his throat. He'd only said them a handful of times in his life, most of which occurred before the age of ten. And never once had he spoken them to Naruto. He had yet to tell him that he loved him.

Sasuke remembered the time when Itachi had been almost an hour late to pick him up from the soup kitchen. He'd been worried then, but shit, that poor, unsuspecting sap from four months ago had no _idea_ what was in store for him. There was the time he'd found Naruto, beaten to a pulp when he decided to camp out on that sketchy part of town. Would that happen to him again?

And Itachi, bloody, covered in vomit, on the brink of death… His parents. He could've lost Juugo too, and Suigetsu was incarcerated. Now Naruto. People were leaving, one by one. At this rate, he'd be all alone. God, why did his chest feel so tight and painful? Why were his hands trembling like this? Why was it so difficult to breathe? His vision was blurring. He felt, for an instant, like he just couldn't _do_ this, whatever "this" was. He felt like he was shutting down.

But now wasn't the time to philosophize, nor was it time to panic. Sasuke refused to. Like hell was he giving up yet. Every minute was precious, and he had to keep his wits about him, his jaw clenched hard. He glanced at the clock. 1:26. Naruto said he'd be far away.

How was that possible? They'd gone to bed at nearly eleven. Naruto perhaps hadn't accounted on Sasuke waking up at such a strange hour. It was probably Naruto's absence that woke up him, his body unconsciously reaching out for a comfort that was no longer present.

Sasuke estimated that he woke up around 1:03 or so, as he'd lazed in bed for several minutes before reading the time displayed on his clock: 1:08. Sasuke strained to remember what Naruto's side of the bed felt like when he touched it, when he was groggy and uncollected. Sasuke squinted his eyes shut and rubbed his temple. Right. The sheets had been cold, so Naruto had been gone for a while at that point. Still, Naruto only had a couple hours to move at most. Sasuke had always been told, had always _known_ that he was a genius. It wasn't time to give up. He could still find him. But how?

Sasuke placed himself in Naruto's shoes, imagining Naruto leaving. What would he do first? Naruto would need clothes. He searched his closet to find three of his least favorite outfits and a backpack gone. What else would Naruto need? To really skip town, Naruto would probably need money. Knowing Naruto, he would only take what he absolutely needed. Just how much was taken, if any at all, would probably be Sasuke's next clue.

Sasuke dashed over to his desk, rummaging through the cash. He counted his money quickly, his body operating mechanically as it so often did in times of crisis. True to Sasuke's suspicions, three twenty dollar bills were missing.

What mode of transportation would Naruto use? There was no reason to leave on foot. With sixty dollars, a flight was out of the question. Even if he had the money, a missing person's alert might have popped up when Naruto used his ID to board the airplane. It was too risky. A taxi would be far too inefficient and expensive. Naruto also didn't seem to know anyone in the immediate area who would aid his escape.

He had enough money to use the buses and subways. In such a small community, public transportation options were lacking, especially at this hour on a Sunday. If Naruto was going to really skip town, buses were too slow and didn't reach far enough to be helpful. Naruto probably figured that as soon as Sasuke woke up that morning, the brothers would comb the city looking for him by car, so he'd likely decided against buses due to the time pressure. Then what else? Fuck. The train.

The station was a short drive from Sasuke's house, and there was only one station in their town. Naruto and Sasuke had passed it whenever they rode the bus together, because it was on the way to the community's small downtown area. It was certainly the most efficient and cheapest way to go far quickly without breaking bank. Sixty dollars should be just enough to put a few hundred miles between them.

But today was a Sunday. Sasuke had lived in this sleepy suburb his entire life, and he knew one thing that Naruto likely did not; the trains didn't run until five Sunday morning. Sasuke could thank his uncanny memory for that. It was only indicated by a small * listed by the train times on all of their printed schedules, with a small footnote, "Trains do not run until 5 Sunday mornings." Given that his theory was correct, Sasuke had nearly four hours to catch Naruto until he boarded his train.

He tried to remember the bus routes that ran near his house, piecing through every diagram he’d ever looked at as he waited around for a bus at different stops around town. He tried to remember the scheduled times, when the routes started and ended. The train station, as central of a place as it was, had a higher chance of being served at night.

The train station was about ten miles from his house, and Naruto was likely somewhere near a bus stop or the train station. The minutes were twittering away, and Sasuke couldn't drive. Itachi? Itachi wasn't even supposed to leave the house for longer than a half hour or so, and he was probably still disoriented from the Vicodin he had to take to sleep.

This search would likely last for hours, and if Itachi had any issues, neither Sasuke nor Naruto knew how to drive. Regardless, this was an emergency. Did Sasuke have any other option? Who else did he know who could drive, who could trust with some _very_ sensitive information?

Juugo.

Juugo had said he owed him one, hadn't he? He was out of the hospital now, and Sasuke knew from experience that Juugo could tear the damned streets up if the situation called for it. He didn't pry, and he was level-headed. But was this really something he wanted Juugo knowing? His next best option was Itachi. Itachi had said that he would always be there for Sasuke, but… Itachi just wasn't _ready_ for this sort of situation. And so Juugo was definitely his best option.

Juugo was on speed dial, so the phone was soon ringing. One ring, two rings… Had Juugo silenced his phone before going to bed? Sasuke had no other way of reaching him. Four rings… Sasuke's hope was beginning to waver just when Juugo's groggy voice came over the earpiece.

"Hello?" Juugo mumbled, sounding rather disoriented.

"Juugo," Sasuke answered.

"Sasuke?" Juugo asked, beginning to sound a little more alert. Juugo squinted his eyes as he glanced at his cell phone. It was almost 1:30 in the morning. It wasn't like Sasuke to call period, let alone at this hour. These days, there was no shortage of things that could go wrong. Had Kabuto's goons showed up? Had something horrible happened? What about Itachi?

"What's up?" Juugo inquired, his voice laced with concern.

"I need a favor," Sasuke said bluntly, wasting no time. He was already putting on his blue jeans.

"Anything," Juugo answered sincerely.

He'd always sought to protect Sasuke. He'd respected Sasuke for all of his accomplishments and his determination. From the day he met Sasuke, something about him he'd always found calming. He didn't know how to explain it; he figured that some people are just compatible. His mother would have probably had something to say about that, along the lines of "vibes" and "auras."

Yet after Sasuke's parents' passed, Juugo's respect grew into full-fledged admiration and devotion. Juugo could hardly believe the way Sasuke just picked up and kept moving, how strong his friend had been despite his age. He would've expected anyone else to be an emotional train wreck, but not Sasuke.

Sasuke had very recently admitted to Juugo that coping with this hadn't been as easy for him as he had made it look, but if anything, that only made Juugo respect him more. And now, after Sasuke had saved him from imprisonment and literally changed his life, he felt a heavy sense of debt and obligation towards Sasuke, though all of it was willing.

"I need you to drive to my house."

"Is everything okay?" Juugo asked, confused by the request.

Sasuke sighed, wishing for some simple and quick way to explain the situation.

"It…could be better. I'll explain a little more when you get here. It's not an emergency, but it's urgent."

Juugo mentally upgraded "urgent" to "emergency" regardless. Sasuke tended to understate. Sasuke had sounded curt and very well put together. Though almost anyone else wouldn't have noticed, Juugo knew his friend well enough to realize that he was unsettled. He could hear it in Sasuke's voice, in the especially clipped and simple sentences, in the awkward pauses.

Sasuke wouldn't have called at this hour and sounded this way over something that wasn't serious. At least Sasuke's statement that it wasn't an emergency reassured Juugo that no one was in the midst of dying.

"Need anything else?"

"No."

"See you in fifteen," Juugo told Sasuke, now sounding much more awake. The phone clicked.

Sasuke quickly grabbed a thick white long-sleeved thermal, along with a navy blue T-shirt with a skull on it that he found nearby and a thick black coat. It was almost cold enough outside for snow. He threw everything on in a matter of seconds, only peeking at the mirror for just a few seconds to smooth down his hair. It was one of the coldest times of the night, and it was still raining. Naruto had to be _freezing_ out there.

But why did Sasuke care? He deserved it, the fucking asshole.

Reaching into his desk drawer, Sasuke grabbed his glasses before leaving, knowing that he'd need keen eyes. Sasuke locked the house behind him, bringing only his wallet, his keys, and his cell phone. Standing under his house's small overhang to protect himself from the rain, he waited for Juugo's car to pull up to the driveway.

Sasuke bounced his knee with nervous energy. It had been easier when he’d wracked his mind at a million miles per minute for clues, thrown his clothing on, and called Juugo. Now, there was nothing he could do. Sasuke stood up again, pacing back and forth in front of his door. He had to keep his cool. If he stopped moving…

He didn’t want to think about what he knew was clawing its way to the surface. He didn’t want to acknowledge how tight his throat felt, how every muscle in his body was tense, and the fact that he was ever so slightly trembling and beginning to feel oddly separate from his surroundings. He had to stay in the moment. He had to pull himself together. Now was not the time to panic. He bit his lip so hard that he tasted blood. He pulled up out his phone and studied the bus schedules and routes around him.

In what seemed like a lifetime, Juugo’s car pulled into his driveway, the sight of his headlights like a gun firing off to start a race. The instant Juugo put his car in park, Sasuke got into the passenger seat of Juugo's car and slammed the door behind him. Juugo had clearly thrown himself together quickly, dressed in just a white T-shirt and a baggy pair of blue jeans. He was blasting the heat, but Sasuke was to preoccupied to take his coat off.

"I need you to trust me. There's no time for questions."

Juugo stared at Sasuke with his mouth unhinged. Quite understandably, Juugo was curious as to what the hell was going on, to the point that the sudden debut of Sasuke's glasses was the last thought on his mind.

"Do you trust me?" Sasuke pressed.

Juugo nodded in stunned silence.

"Okay. We need to find someone."

"Find…someone?" Juugo asked, having difficulty processing all of this.

"Yes. Drive to the train station."

Juugo turned on the ignition, quickly heading to their suburb's small downtown area.

When Naruto discovered that his train wouldn't leave until five today, he likely wouldn't wait right by the station. If Sasuke were to discover that he was missing, it was too likely that Sasuke would look for him there. Naruto could be a little oblivious at times, but contrary to Sasuke's claims, he wasn't _stupid_. Still, Sasuke had to try it, at least. Once they got there, they could comb the surrounding area.

"Keep an eye out for a kid about my age. Short blond hair, blue eyes, stupid face, about five foot nine."

As they neared the train station, Sasuke began to peer out the windows of the car, thankful that he'd remembered his glasses. There was no sight of Naruto.

"Hey, this guy…" Juugo wandered. "Does he _want_ to be found?"

Sasuke was silent and expressionless.

"Turn left on Cedar."

Juugo obeyed. This was a large street, with a good view into many side alleys and avenues. The streetlights were dim but still quite helpful.

"Slow down a bit," Sasuke requested. Juugo went just a hair below the speed limit now, which was as fast as they could go if Sasuke were to give these side streets a good look.

"Sasuke…"

Sasuke had to give it to Juugo that the situation was beyond sketchy. What sorts of theories could Juugo be coming up with? Sasuke had always been a little cagey with his friends when it came to his drug dealing and just how deeply he'd gotten into it. Juugo wasn't thinking that this was related, was he? Sasuke didn't know if he was in the frame of mind to explain everything to Juugo, but at least he could reassure him in some way.

"A friend is skipping town. I need to tell them something first."

"Okay…" Juugo answered, still sounding uncertain.

Sasuke was grateful that Juugo didn't press for any more information. They reached the train station, which was dark inside. Sasuke had Juugo park. As Sasuke jogged up to the station, he became just slightly damp in the light rain. The clouds were beginning to let up. The station was very small, as it didn't need to serve all that many people.

The inside was illuminated enough from the outside light for Sasuke to know for a fact that Naruto hadn't somehow found his way in. He could make out the bench, the ticket counter, and the doors to the terminals. Sasuke ran around the outside, going into smaller streets surrounding the area. He was becoming slightly sweaty, damp from both perspiration and rain, still finding no trace of Naruto. He ran back to Juugo's car and got in. It was almost 2:30. He took off his coat.

"Down there."

Sasuke pointed. He didn't know the streets' names anymore; they were too small. But they'd comb the grid looking for Naruto. They'd tear this town apart. Sasuke would do everything in his power.

"Sasuke, this…"

Sasuke wanted to tell Juugo what was going on, but how the hell could he explain something like that? That would be difficult even in a normal frame of mind. And he was trying to concentrate. Sasuke would go solid minutes without blinking, meticulously scrutinizing the nooks and crevices of these avenues, his eyes almost tearing as they grew more exhausted. His head was throbbing. He was keeping their bearing, trying to remember which streets they'd covered and which they still had yet to search. He couldn't afford to be distracted.

"Please, Juugo. Trust me. This isn't a dangerous situation."

After the crisis was over, Sasuke would discuss it. He didn't have the wherewithal currently.

"Okay," Juugo replied uneasily.

Juugo and he tried checking the relevant bus stops nearby to the train station and surrounding areas. No luck. They tried checking by subway stations. Sasuke even went _in_ a few of the stations. Again, nothing. They searched the nearby areas by car.

This was the pace for hours. Juugo was tired. Hell, so was Sasuke. But Juugo kept driving without question or complaint, following each one of Sasuke's directions. It was 4:10. They were starting to run out of time, though at least it had stopped raining. As Juugo yawned, Sasuke placed his hand underneath his glasses, rubbing his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. His head and eyes were aching from all of his searching. It was getting too late.

They'd searched all over the town. Sasuke tried to ignore the possibility that he wouldn't find Naruto after all. The train was perhaps the likeliest scenario, and they'd even checked a few other places Naruto might be if he didn't use the train. What if Sasuke's theory had been wrong? If they hadn't found Naruto by about 4:50, Sasuke decided that he would wait at the train station. The best he could do was bet on the likeliest scenario.

There were, of course, ways that Naruto could spot him and avoid him, even if he did use the train. Perhaps he'd just go straight out to the tracks, most of which were hidden, rather than walking up to the ticket counter. The train station itself was even a subway station. Naruto could have just been hiding near one of the subway stops, just making his way in before heading to the train stop some time in advance. Naruto would surely be on the lookout for Sasuke in case Sasuke woke up, but Sasuke was pretty perceptive himself. Sasuke hoped that he could outwit him.

They descended a narrow, poorly lit street. Sasuke had Juugo turn on his brights just for a moment, rolling forward so that Sasuke could look behind the dumpsters. They turned a corner, and Sasuke saw a small and dilapidated liquor store, barred windows lit up from the inside with sickly yellow light. It was likely the only establishment open in the area. Sasuke glanced down the alleyway, noting a figure roughly his size hunched against a wall.

"Stop the car," Sasuke said abruptly.

Juugo pulled over, and Sasuke squinted his eyes, analyzing the figure. It was him. It was Naruto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone liked!
> 
> The chapter after this is one of my favorite in the story. Things are getting crazy!


	57. Chapter 57

Naruto noticed an unfamiliar blue truck stop in the road on the opposite side a few dozen feet down the block, on the other side of the street. He tensed, his body on edge. Someone was getting out of the passenger seat, only the bottom of their legs visible under the gap of the car. Naruto swallowed hard as he remembered something: this _wasn't_ an unfamiliar car. He'd seen it in Sasuke's driveway before, only a couple times.

The figure walked around the car, a familiar hairstyle now obvious in the silhouette, illuminated by the streetlights. It was Sasuke. Sasuke, the man he thought he wouldn't be seeing for another two years. Sasuke briskly walked towards Naruto. He'd wanted to see Sasuke again, so badly. But he hadn't wanted Sasuke to see _him_. Sasuke was, no doubt, here to force him to stay. How could he possibly explain this to Sasuke?

He froze for a couple seconds, paralyzed by shock. Now, Sasuke's face was in view, though Naruto had to squint to make it out. Naruto could see that Sasuke's fists were clenched, his arm muscles tensed. Sasuke hadn't entered the alleyway yet. And so Naruto did what he should have done from the instant he saw Sasuke: he ran.

* * *

Sasuke snarled as Naruto charged off. It came down to this? Sasuke sprinted at full pace, barely dodging an out of place trashcan as he pursued Naruto. After hours of searching, he'd finally found Naruto. He would _not_ lose him. Sasuke's indiscriminate steps loudly plopped into shallow puddles, drenching Sasuke's pant legs and shoes.

Naruto took a sharp right turn, and Sasuke followed, leaving Juugo to stare at the once again desolate scenery in shock, the sound of frenzied footsteps quickly fading into silence. Naruto was using every bit of energy at his disposal, and so was Sasuke. His feet thudded with the pavement with each wide and urgent stride, arms moving in reverse motion, hands straight and spearing forward.

In freshman year, Sasuke ran a mile for a school fitness test. Six minutes and eight seconds. Though he'd only been training for basketball, he beat most of his school's track team. Sasuke was, by no stretch, slow.

And though many of Naruto's muscles had returned through frequent exercise, in such cramped surroundings, he had yet to condition his heart and lungs. Naruto couldn't evade Sasuke for much longer, and Naruto surely knew this. Their footsteps grew closer together. Naruto spared a quick glance over his shoulder, his frantic breath clouding the frigid air in front of him. Their sneakers squeaked against the wet ground. Sasuke was approaching him.

Sasuke's breath rasped in his throat, his glasses bouncing on the bridge of his nose. A doctor had once told him that he had a mild grade of cold induced asthma, but living in southern California, this rarely proved relevant. Unless he was, say, sprinting like his life depended on it at four in the morning in the dead of winter, it wasn't an issue. His chest tightened, air coming to him in wheezes, but he kept moving onward, one excruciating step after the next. He was only holding even pace with Naruto now, who didn't seem to be tiring as quickly.

Frustrated with his glasses, he took them off as he ran and shoved them in his pocket. They only got in his way. His breathing was becoming more and more labored, his face flushed hot despite the cold. A jog, even in this weather, would have never done this to him; he was literally running as if he were being hunted for meat.

But at this rate, he'd lose Naruto. So he threw everything into his movements. It didn't matter that this was unsustainable for longer than a few seconds. It didn’t matter that each and every step sent acidic jolts through his overtaxed body, that it tightened his chest just a bit more.

Sasuke’s hip brushed an out of place trash can, which clattered to the floor and bruised Sasuke’s bone. Sasuke didn’t given a shit, didn’t even notice. Seering hot adrenaline blocking out everything that was not that complete and utter moron he was pursuing. He just _had_ to catch him.

This was his last shot.

The distance between them quickly closed. They were only about twenty feet apart. They'd traveled blocks now. Sasuke had lost his bearing; he had no idea where this chase had begun.

Naruto knew he couldn't last, not like this. He didn't have much time to make up his mind. So he did the only thing his mind could think of in this panicked, desperate moment. He ran into a small alleyway and, for just a few seconds out of Sasuke's view, tucked himself behind a small dumpster. It wasn't the best escape plan, but he didn't have much time to think things out.

Hopefully, Sasuke, in his rushed state, wouldn't see him there in the dark and would assume that Naruto had gotten out of the alley and made a second turn. When Sasuke took off again to search for Naruto, Naruto would dash in the opposite direction.

And lucked smiled upon Naruto. Sasuke ran through the alleyway and right past the dumpster.

Sasuke’s chest was tight, his breath raspy and painful as he made it to the other end. His cheeks were bright red, and his body was covered in sweat. He paused for but an instant, looking left to right. He couldn't hear running. What if he'd lost him? No, impossible. He couldn't escape that quickly.

The dumpster. He ran towards it. He saw Naruto there for just a moment before Naruto re-emerged and ran again. That son of a bitch…

Despite the fact that his brain and heart screamed at him for one more step, for every single bit of force his muscles were capable of, Sasuke couldn't last much longer. His head ached. He felt dizzy. And his _chest_... His lungs felt like they didn't have enough room to expand, his windpipe painfully restricted. _Why_ hadn't he taken that doctor up on his offer for an inhaler?

He had to catch Naruto. Gritting his teeth so hard that he heard them squeak, he forced his thighs, his calves, his arms, everything to propel him forward, sparsely oxygenated muscles burning like battery acid. He couldn't break for breath. He had to keep going. Another alleyway. They hit a long building.

There was nowhere for Naruto to turn until the main street. It was far ahead. This was his last chance. Sasuke knew that his body, cruelly deprived of oxygen, would force him to rest soon. He had to catch Naruto _now_.

Running, _sprinting_ , every muscle giving its best, he was gaining on Naruto again. Closer. Closer. His fingertips could touch Naruto if he reached out, but he might slip away. He heard Naruto's panting, the clumping of his backpack against his back. He'd go faster. Just a little bit more, and…

**_Now._ **

Sasuke grabbed Naruto's backpack firmly, jerking him back by it. Finally, Sasuke's legs were still. He wheezed desperately for breath, but he had to keep himself ready to run again if necessary.

He positioned himself so that he was right in front of Naruto, ready to grab him again if he ran off to either side. The building blocked Naruto's back. The adrenaline in Sasuke's body was still pounding through his veins from the chase. Sasuke lifted his fist, ready to punch Naruto, but… Naruto looked so terrified. He couldn't bring himself to do it.

Naruto attempted to charge off to the left, which killed any remaining sympathy Sasuke felt. Fuck this asshole. He was the reason Sasuke was feeling this way. He'd convinced Sasuke to give him a chance, despite Sasuke's better judgment, because he had promised not to leave him. Then he had the nerve to ditch him? This was all _Naruto's_ fault.

He lifted back his fist and pounded it into Naruto's nose.

It was a sloppy punch, Sasuke's wheezing diminishing as he began to catch his breath. But the blow hit its target, blood running down Naruto’s upper lip.

Naruto stared at Sasuke in surprise for a moment, the crunch of his cartilage stunning him and causing him to step back. His eyes watered, vision blurry for just a second. He was shocked to feel wetness on his upper lip. Blood.

Sasuke's facial expression was venomous. This was no reflection of those memories of the caring, gentle Sasuke that his mind had presented to torture him. Sasuke looked _pissed_.

Only those few seconds were lost. Naruto clenched his teeth, his brows scrunching together in anger. He responded to this the only way he knew how to: he punched back.

His adrenaline had been fully charged, and it wasn't wearing down. He took his arm back and aimed a right cross toward Sasuke’s cheek. Sasuke blocked.

Sasuke's muscles were still sluggish, but he was recuperating as he caught his breath. Naruto caught his breath and grit his teeth together before uppercutting Sasuke's jaw. Sasuke's molars drove into the left half of his tongue, and he tasted blood. Sasuke spit the blood out to the side, his glare the epitome of ice and rage.

He slammed Naruto into the dumpster, the sound of metal reverberating through the alley. It nearly drowned the sound of Naruto’s collar ripping from the intensity of the blow.

Sasuke’s knee rammed into Naruto’s gut.

Naruto gagged, hunched over, winded, knowing that he needed to keep moving. He was losing. He had to escape. He had to get up and fight.

While Sasuke was still near him, Naruto grabbed Sasuke by his bangs, his hands clenched around the black tufts of hair. He jerked Sasuke’s head toward him and butt his forehead into Sasuke's. Hard.

Both of them were stunned for just an instant as their ears rang and their vision doubled, eyes unfocused. But Naruto had known to expect this. Naruto didn’t let go of Sasuke’s hair, slamming his forehead into Sasuke’s repeatedly as he roared out his aggression into the alley.

Disoriented, Sasuke frantically jabbed Naruto’s bicep and stomach, and anything else his fists could find. Sasuke could hardly think as his skull was rattled again and again. He tugged back, blindly trying to rip his hair out of Naruto’s grasp. Naruto’s back was still against the wall.

Naruto punched at Sasuke’s throat, not hard enough to critically injure him but enough for Sasuke to cough from the cold and gurgle on the blood from this tongue.

Air.

Not enough air.

Naruto had seen Sasuke’s weakness and exploited it.

Naruto fights dirty, Sasuke thought to himself.

Of course he does.

When Naruto fought, there was no honor to it. It was a necessary evil of living on the streets. He did whatever he needed to do to escape, to survive.

Naruto threw the full force of his body into Sasuke, forcing him to stumble backwards. Through Sasuke’s blurry vision, he saw Naruto turn to sprint down the alleyway.

No.

Fuck.

This wasn’t good.

Sasuke was wheezing for air. He needed to _breathe_.

Naruto fought unlike anyone else he’d ever fought. It was not that he was necessarily a stronger or better fighter. But no one had been this relentless, this shameless. It was probably why Naruto was still alive.

Sasuke had no time to think, a loud ringing filling his brain and the lack of oxygen burning through his body like fire. He moved on instinct.

Although Naruto had experience fighting, so did Sasuke.

He grabbed Naruto by his backpack, just as he had before, swinging Naruto back. Naruto’s fatigue caused him to stumble.

Sasuke’s opposite fist slammed into Naruto’s jaw, causing his head to swing to the side.

His vision still distorted by the impact to his forehead, air still wheezing through his windpipe, Sasuke delivered a roundhouse kick to the back of Naruto's knees as he straightened his arm to force Naruto's chest backwards.

Naruto fell on his back with a graceless thud, the back of his head smacking against the asphalt.

This was a well-practiced move that Sasuke had used in many fights, only delivered through muscle memory. Immediately, Sasuke got on top of Naruto, pulling his fist back to begin his work, or whatever _that_ entailed. Naruto couldn’t move now. Both of them were panting, deep breaths painfully entering and exiting their ribcages. Their lungs, their muscles, their faces… They stung.

In a fight, this was generally the point in time where things would go brutally awry for Sasuke's opponent.

Naruto remembered the sight of Sasuke's eyes that moment well. It was the same look he had when he found out that that vagrant had attacked Naruto at knifepoint, the same look he had when he had rather foolishly decided to wreak vengeance on the man. It was the look he wore when someone he loved was almost taken from him.

Sasuke had told him that he'd been in many, many fights over the past year. It wasn't that Naruto didn't believe him, but now, he saw the evidence so clearly on Sasuke's face.

Sasuke was regressing. He knew it. He had done this very same thing to Sai. Once Sasuke had flipped Sai, it was all over for him. Sitting on top of Sai, his fist clenched and pulled back, he had felt the exact same way.

But this was different. He had every right to be angry, no, _enraged_ this time. The subject of his wrath was a liar, a hypocrite. His entire body was pumping with adrenaline and fury. He was so angry. He wanted to torture. He wanted to destroy. He could hardly even contain himself. But this liar, this hypocrite was Naruto. _Naruto_ …

His Naruto.

Naruto's hands were pinned by his side, his body still wet from the rain that had fallen hours ago. They were both still for a moment, Sasuke's fist trembling in midair. A drop of blood fell from Sasuke's face and pattered on Naruto's chest.

Naruto covered his face, hoping to at least save his nose and teeth. Sasuke sighed, his fist still raised. He couldn’t do this. His mind was a raucous din of curse words he would have just _loved_ to yell at Naruto.

"What the fuck are you _thinking_?!" Sasuke shouted, channeling his fury into his voice. His face was red.

"It's how it was always supposed to be!" Naruto yelled back, his voice raspy. "This was never supposed to happen!"

Sasuke still didn't move his fist.

"But you told me you'd go into the station weeks ago!" A realization seemed to strike Sasuke, who sneered down at Naruto as if he'd just encountered a mold-coated loaf of bread in his pantry.

He'd known this all along; he just hadn't wanted to believe it.

"You never had any intention of turning yourself in, did you?” Sasuke asked him coldly, his face dominated by disgust. “You lied from the start!"

But he would have never willingly deceived Sasuke like that. It was only at the last minute that he comprehended the gravity of what he was about to do.

"That's not true, Sasuke! I was really planning on doing it! Every time I said I was going to stay, I meant it!"

Sasuke seemed to calm a little at that, finally lowering his fist as he sighed in frustration, his muscles still rigid but his breath returning to him. So Naruto had technically never lied to him about this? Sasuke's expression looked no less intimidating, however.

"And when did that change?" Sasuke asked with a dangerous calm, his eyes coldly analyzing Naruto for any signs of dishonesty or hidden emotion.

"Earlier tonight," Naruto admitted, the anger beginning to leave his face and voice. His eyes left Sasuke's, lingering on the building's wall. He could feel the cold and damp cement on his back through his jacket, his clothing dirty from all the grime.

Sasuke was more composed now, his breathing almost returned to normal as his body leaned back. He narrowed his eyes at Naruto. They were the polar opposite of the way they'd appeared as they made love yesterday. The eyes that were once so deep and light were now opaque, loveless, and distant. Black. Cold.

"You're a fucking hypocrite," Sasuke spat. His voice was low and quiet, but it was full of hatred.

"What are you talking about?" Naruto mumbled.

"'Don't let fear control you.' Sounds so simple in theory, doesn't it?"

Naruto froze. He remembered this. It was what he told Sasuke when he began dealing drugs. He'd had been so frightened at losing Itachi that even the ever so cool and rational Uchiha Sasuke became desperate and reckless. Fear controlled his fate.

"This isn't the same thing!" he insisted defensively after a short pause.

"Isn't it?" Sasuke asked, cocking his head to the side bitterly.

 _Was_ it? Naruto struggled, freeing one arm from underneath Sasuke.

"I don't want _this_ to happen again!" he shouted, his voice breaking midway. He pointed to his cheek with a straight and quivering finger. "You could _never_ understand!"

Sasuke wasn't dissuaded by sympathy, his stance strong.

"You didn't understand me either," Sasuke responded, his voice becoming louder again. "But that didn't keep you from telling me the shit I needed to hear but didn't want to. I'm returning the favor."

Naruto frowned. He needed more oxygen, but Sasuke was sitting on him. He began to struggle against Sasuke's weight, trying to pant in air. Sasuke mercifully budged a few inches to accommodate Naruto's lungs, relieving Naruto greatly.

"Are you forgetting the reason you came to live with me in the first place, you idiot?"

Naruto's eyes were becoming glassy with tears still unformed. Sasuke could see the ambient light and even the stars reflect off of Naruto’s watering eyes. Naruto fought the panic threatening to hijack his thoughts. Naruto didn't have one single safe option, and he was again being reminded of this.

"What the fuck else am I supposed to do?!" Naruto yelled with everything he had in him. “A sheltered _child_ like you could never understand! I will _never_ be safe!”

“Everywhere…” Naruto said, more softly now. Panting, clamping his eyes shut. “Everywhere I go…”

Naruto looked desperate. Terrified.

"You're running again, Naruto," Sasuke sighed, sounding gentler than he had before. He still gazed down at Naruto, but now his expression was more dominated by frustration and even sadness than by rage.

"What?"

Of course he was running. What better option was there?

"You're leaving everything behind. You're not dealing with what happened to you."

"I've dealt with it!" Naruto shouted back defensively.

"If you'd dealt with it, you'd do what you'd tell anyone else to do in this situation," Sasuke said, his voice becoming increasingly calm. "You wouldn't have bailed on our plan you'd been onboard with for weeks at the last minute. You're not thinking clearly."

Naruto was silent. Everything Sasuke said… Naruto just wanted it to stop. Sasuke was ruining everything, hacking away at all of his painfully acquired determination. Was this what Sasuke had felt like when Naruto would speak to him when he was losing his head?

"You could go to school. You could have a home. Friends. For once, someone would stick around in your life. You'd have a future. What kind of life can you build for yourself if you're in hiding? There's nothing for you on the streets."

No, stop. Naruto's breath began to come quickly, too quickly. His head was tingling. He writhed, trying to free himself from Sasuke's weight, but Sasuke kept him pinned. He wanted to escape. He wanted to run. He didn't want to hear this. Even when Sasuke wasn't there, it was difficult not to go back on his resolve. He couldn't let Sasuke push him over the edge. So Naruto sneered up at Sasuke, doing his best not to be swayed.

"I'll make the cash somehow. I'll find myself a place. Don't make this about me. It's about _you_. You want me to put myself in harm's way because you don't want to be left! You're being selfish!"

The look on Sasuke's face made Naruto feel remorseful instantly. Naruto had been defensive, angry, scared… Being physically pinned didn't help manners either. He felt like a caged animal. He wished he could have taken the words back. Sasuke lifted his head back, momentarily stunned.

"You call _me_ selfish? I admit that I'm biased by my own desires, one of which is to keep your dumb ass safe. I may be selfish..."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, staring Naruto down before shaking his head in disappointment.

“But I'm not a liar."

Was Sasuke talking about Naruto's claim that he would return to the foster care system? That technically hadn't been a lie. Naruto just had a rather last minute change of plans, as he'd already explained to Sasuke.

"What?"

"You _promised_ you wouldn't leave me," Sasuke mumbled. “Looks like you've forgotten."

So _that's_ what Sasuke was referring to. Naruto glanced over at Sasuke's face but soon after regretted it. Sasuke's anger was fading, and it was being replaced by something that was a lot tougher for Naruto to see: hurt. That's where all of Sasuke's rage had come from, after all. Naruto was beginning to feel nauseous as guilt gnawed at him. He sighed, staring at the asphalt now.

"Sasuke, please… Look at you. You have more people after you than you could shake a stick at. You could easily find someone new, someone _better_ , and replace me."

"What is _wrong_ with you?" Sasuke shouted. How many times did he have to reassure Naruto about this rubbish? "Are you really that insecure?"

But it wasn't just insecurity. He'd been replaced far too many times. Abandoned too many times.

"Besides," Naruto mumbled morosely. "You know what they say about teenage romances… They never last."

Sasuke was silent. Was that really all Naruto saw this as? Just another one of those brief and quick high school relationships that come by the dozen at this period in one's life?

No. This was _different_.

Of course, a cynical part of Sasuke thought to itself, that's what they all say, isn't it? He remembered what Naruto had told him the night before, about how even though he was young, he would never stop loving Sasuke. Ever.

"Oh… I get it," Sasuke sneered, his voice chilled. "You're pathetic, you know that?"

Naruto simply glared back at Sasuke.

"You left, just like you claimed you never would. All your life, you've been abandoned. When you do it to someone else, your conscience can't handle it because you know just what it feels like."

Naruto's heart beat so heavily, it seemed, his eyes open and unblinking. Sasuke saw right through him. Lying helpless beneath Sasuke, he was exposed to him in all senses of the word.

"So you justify it by deceiving yourself."

Naruto paused several minutes, thinking of what he could possibly have to say to something like that.

"Sasuke, I'm just…" Naruto mumbled and stared at the ground, paying sudden attention to an ant by his arm forehead scurrying across the wet asphalt. "I'm replaceable. It's been _two months_."

"Replaceable? _Really?_ " Sasuke demanded, his words coming more forcefully. His anger was returning. "I took you in, Naruto. I fed you. I clothed you. I risked my ass for you. I'd fight for you. Do you think that I, of all people, would do that for anyone? Are you too brain damaged to comprehend logic _that_ simple?"

What could he ever say to that? He couldn't go back. He had to leave. He couldn't… But he couldn't leave Sasuke either. God, _why_ was it that Sasuke could do this to him? No, he couldn't let it happen. He had to remember his _first_ promise.

He had to remembered what his foster father's kisses tasted like, how he could've died that day, what it felt like when that knife cut through his cheek. He couldn't let Sasuke sway him. He was desperate now. Even if Sasuke would hate him forever, he had to shake him.

"You're _infatuated_ with me," Naruto hissed, looking directly into Sasuke's eyes.

"How the hell can you say that?!" Sasuke exploded.

There had been no lapse before Sasuke erupted. Sasuke hadn't even stopped to consider the possibility that Naruto honestly believed this. Sasuke saw through it all, but the fact that Naruto dared say such a thing infuriated him regardless. Gritting his teeth, he grabbed Naruto's shoulders up off the asphalt and slammed his body into the ground, the back of Naruto's already sore head banging against the ground.

"I _love_ you, you fucking good-for-nothing imbecile!" Sasuke shouted, his jaw trembling slightly as he glared back at Naruto with an expression full of liquid hot rage.

Naruto's entire body slumped, his skull throbbing from the sudden collision. Tears began to form in his eyes, and they fell down the sides of his eyes onto the ground.

Naruto had told Sasuke that he loved him eight times. Naruto knew, because he kept track. Sometimes he said it playfully, almost sarcastically. "You're lucky I love you." Other times he said it as they were just about to fall asleep together. Other times as they made love.

Sasuke had never said it back. Not even once. Every single time, Naruto listened for it, hoping that this would be the time Sasuke would finally reassure him.

Naturally, he would never tell Sasuke how much it bothered him, let alone the fact that he'd actually kept count. His pride couldn't handle that, and he didn't want to come off as sensitive or needy. The son of a bitch might even tease him for it, or even worse just go silent.

Naruto had mentioned it only once, and Sasuke's only explanation was an apologetic, "I'm a little slower than most." Naruto had quickly let it drop. Sasuke was a difficult nut to crack, whatever the case. Besides, after everything Sasuke had done for him, it was obvious that he cared. He was sure the words would come eventually, yet they never did.

Well, not until now.

"You say this now, of all times?!" Naruto asked frantically, his face contorted as he threw up his only free hand. " _Now?!_ "

Sasuke moved off of Naruto, who sat up, hunched over by the wall. Naruto began to cry, hiccupping softly as the tears changed course over his scars. It mixed with the blood on Naruto’s face.

Naruto hid his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking as his breath came to him in rasps. What Sasuke had said seemed to have been the last straw for Naruto. Despite the fact that Sasuke was still furious with Naruto, he sat next to Naruto and placed his hand on his shoulder. He didn't like seeing him cry. Sasuke kept looking forward.

"I thought it might be my last chance," Sasuke said quietly, but his tone was determined. "I won't have regrets."

"That's not playing fair!" Naruto yelled back, his voice trembling.

Naruto slumped against Sasuke, his head now resting against Sasuke's shoulder as he attempted to stop his crying. They were both leaning into to each other, backs against the wall. Naruto couldn't bear the guilt. He'd felt guilty all along, but he'd been able to convert that into rage adeptly after Sasuke decked him in the face. Now all of that was gone, and he was left to suffer the full extent of his shame, unadulterated and pure.

"God… Sasuke, I'm so sorry. It just… It has to be this way. …Right?" Naruto asked in a way that desperately requested reassurance.

Sasuke paused, calculating his response. He wasn't angry anymore. Naruto was frightened and hurting, much like he was. Naruto had made a pretty stupid decision. However, he'd been willing to live on the streets for an entire year, despite all of the risks, to avoid the situation he was supposed to willingly walk into the next day. And then, in the final moments, he'd panicked.

In that, Sasuke saw himself. He'd dealt drugs and told his brother that he'd been working at a church, for hell's sake. Itachi was his only remaining family member, Sasuke thought to himself, and he would not lose him like he lost his parents. He would not take any chances with him.

That's how he justified his actions to himself. "Take no chances." It was an ironic justification, given the risks of his new venture, but he stood by the motto regardless. Wasn't Naruto doing the same thing?

Naruto had avoided the issue in the days prior. If Sasuke wouldn't have let Naruto push him away in the days preceding, would this still have happened? A part of him blamed himself, and he'd never know whether he could have made a difference or not. Sasuke wasn't what most would consider an understanding person, but he did comprehend Naruto's viewpoint.

"You and I both know that worst case scenarios can happen. But we went wrong when we chose to believe that the worst case scenario was the likeliest, because it had happened before. Paranoia called the shots. That's no way to live."

Naruto still leaned against Sasuke, wordlessly. He could hear Sasuke's breathing, which misted against his cheek when Sasuke turned to him. Naruto entwined one arm with Sasuke's. He was tempted to hold his hand, but it seemed too committal.

"If I thought that leaving would be the best for you, I wouldn't be so selfish as to ask you to stay. I don't _need_ anyone."

Was it true, that Sasuke needed no one? Perhaps this was just one of the things Sasuke told himself to feel less vulnerable. Yet Naruto got the feeling that even without Itachi or him, Sasuke would carry on. As bitter and cold as he might become, he could not be stopped. Sasuke was strong like that.

But that warmth in Sasuke… The way he changed his brothers wicks, guided his friends, looked into Naruto’s eyes as they made love, and pet his cat when no one was looking… The way he looked up at the stars at night, spoke of the Greek gods, and smiled… Naruto saw it grow, ever so slowly, as Sasuke healed. He didn’t want that Sasuke to die.

Naruto had stopped crying. The heat of Sasuke's body was too good. He didn't want to leave him, though he knew he'd be forced to, whether it was tonight in a rundown alleyway or tomorrow in a police station.

"I know, Sasuke."

"It's your life. You have to deal with the consequences."

Sasuke was cut off by the lump in his throat. He was fighting back tears. He refused to cry, however. If Naruto left, he did not want to be remembered that way. Having cried in front of him even once, after Itachi was admitted to the hospital, was bad enough.

No matter how certain Sasuke was that he was right, no matter how badly Sasuke might hurt, Sasuke could never force someone into making such a large life decision. He'd done his best to persuade Naruto, but Naruto’s life was Naruto's decision, and Naruto's decision alone. So he could only pray that Naruto would stay with him tonight.

“But…” Sasuke muttered.

Sasuke bit his cheek hard. God, he did _not_ want to go home alone. He could not speak loudly, or he was sure his voice would crack.

"Please stay."

Sasuke's tone was painful to both of them, its desperation and vulnerability palpable. Naruto grabbed onto Sasuke's arm tighter. When Sasuke had first spotted him, he expected Sasuke to take him back to the house kicking and screaming. Remarkably, Sasuke was giving him a choice.

Naruto could still leave, even now. Sasuke's heart throbbed, his hands trembling. He was a mixture of impatient, desperate, and terrified to hear the next words out of Naruto's mouth.

Naruto moved up, guiding Sasuke's face towards his with his palm. He kissed Sasuke timidly, then more passionately, ignoring the ache of his jaw. They tasted a hint of blood, Sasuke's sore tongue still recovering from Naruto's uppercut. Sasuke's heart beat heavily. He so badly wanted to believe that this was what he thought it was. He prayed that this would not be a goodbye kiss.

After their lips parted, Naruto stared at Sasuke for a moment, processing everything Sasuke had said.

"Okay."

Sasuke's brows knit together as relief announced itself on his face, his lips pursing. Naruto only saw Sasuke’s reaction a split second. He hugged Naruto tightly, bringing him into his chest.

Yes, it was an act of affection. But more importantly, Sasuke had just not wanted Naruto to see the look on his face and could think of no other way to hide. He didn't want Naruto to see that his eyes were wet, or that his bottom lip was quivering as he fought to keep his composure.

Sasuke's eyes clamped shut, but he had to keep his breathing steady. Otherwise, Naruto would be on to him. No tears fell. He opened his eyes again and discreetly wiped them against the nearest item of clothing as he hugged Naruto, knowing that Naruto wouldn't notice.

Naruto breathed in, taking in Sasuke's scent. It made him feel so safe, despite everything. He hadn’t thought he'd see Sasuke again for two years. Sasuke's body, pressed against Naruto's sopping clothes, was wet now, but he didn't give a damn. He grasped Naruto's icy hand tightly in his own.

"I'm…really sorry, Sasuke."

Sasuke had regained control, once again appearing nothing but composed. The crisis had been averted.

"Stop apologizing," Sasuke said bluntly, sounding much more like his ordinary self. "Let's get out of here. I'm exhausted."

And it was true. Once the adrenaline had subdued, he was feeling the full effect of a sprint, a brawl, and a maelstrom of emotions all experienced on only two hours of sleep. He felt an urge to just slump against the wall on the wet cement and rest his eyes for a few moments with Naruto under his arm, but the area was far too dangerous and cold for that. Besides, he had to reunite with Juugo.

It was now that Sasuke realized that he had no idea where the hell the two of them were. He got up, his knees aching as he used the wall to stand. He offered a hand to Naruto, who accepted and did the same. Sasuke waited until they had walked to an intersection where he could read the signs and called Juugo.

"Sasuke? Is everything okay?"

It had been at least twenty minutes since Sasuke had left Juugo's car. He must've been worried.

"Everything's fine," Sasuke answered. "Ready to go home."

"Where are you?"

"Hodencamp and Walnut."

"That far?" Juugo asked in disbelief. Sasuke was relieved that Juugo even knew these small and poorly marked streets. Juugo had been driving around this town for two years though, so he supposed it made sense.

"Yup," Sasuke answered simply.

"It'll take me a couple minutes then. Just wait for me at the intersection."

"Alright," Sasuke answered, and they hung up.

"Who was that?" Naruto asked, tilting his head curiously.

"Juugo."

Naruto blinked. He had recognized the car that Sasuke arrived in, but Sasuke's mode of transportation had been one of the last things on Naruto's mind at the time.

" _Juugo_ drove you here?"

"Yes."

"I'm gonna meet him?"

After everything that had just happened, Sasuke wondered how Naruto could go from crying to enthusiastic in such little time. Naruto had been just dying to meet some of Sasuke's friends, especially Juugo. From what he'd heard, Juugo sounded pretty cool.

"Yes?" Sasuke replied, finding Naruto's eagerness bizarre.

Juugo's blue truck was easily heard from a couple blocks away on the empty street. He drove up to them and pulled up to the right lane, stopping the car but not placing it in park. Sasuke opened the passenger door to reveal both himself and Naruto. They were beaten, clothes dirty, wet, and ripped. Juugo's eyes widened as he processed that image, staring back with his mouth ajar.

"Juugo, Naruto," Sasuke said bluntly, pointing to the grinning blond boy by his side. "Naruto, Juugo."

Proper manners were not _completely_ lost on Sasuke. Sasuke got into the passenger seat, while Naruto took the back.

"Wow, you're humongous!" Naruto chirped

"Uh…thanks," Juugo answered. He would have been more taken aback by the comment if this entire situation weren’t so insane.

"It's so nice to meet you!" Naruto stated, inviting Juugo to shake his hand from the backseat. Juugo accepted it, as he didn't quite know what else to do. As was typical, Naruto gave Juugo's hand a few more shakes than was socially appropriate.

What the hell had happened to Sasuke? Why was he so beat up? And who was this kid in his car, who was _still_ shaking his hand? Well, apparently his name was Naruto.

"Everything's fine now, Juugo. Could you drop us off at my house?"

"Sure," Juugo replied uncertainly.

They drove for several seconds. Juugo already had a cigarette resting between his lips. Sasuke took one out of Juugo's pack without asking permission, as Juugo had always told him he was welcome to do. God, after all of this bullshit, he felt like he needed one.

"I suppose an explanation is in order," Sasuke sighed, lighting his cigarette with Juugo's red Bic lighter.

Naruto held his tongue. He hated to see Sasuke smoking, but he was currently in no place to complain.

"Kind of, yes," Juugo answered, sounding perturbed at being kept in the dark for so long. He wasn't one to press for information, but this was getting ridiculous.

"Remember when the court appointed me all that volunteer work?"

"Yeah," Juugo answered expectantly, wondering where Sasuke was going with this.

"I volunteered at a soup kitchen and met Naruto there a while back."

"Oh, okay."

"I was also a volunteer," Naruto specified. As Naruto no longer looked anything like a vagrant, Juugo had no reason to think anything but. would think this anyway, Of course, Naruto wasn't so shrewd as to realize this. Still, other than the past several months, he'd identified as a vagrant for over a year, so perhaps it was a difficult transition mentally. "We would wash dishes and clean tables together… Because I was volunteering."

Sasuke inwardly groaned, wondering if it was possible for Naruto's tone to be any _more_ suspicious. He took a deep hit off of his cigarette.

He hadn't planned what he was going to tell Juugo. He supposed he should've hammered down the specifics of that beforehand, but he had been too preoccupied with finding Naruto at the time. All of his mental energy had gone into that.

Juugo sighed gruffly. It didn't seem like he was buying this.

"Juugo, the truth is…" Sasuke started. And then he found he didn't know how to finish his sentence. He glanced at Naruto with a look of confusion on his face. Naruto gave Sasuke an inquisitive look, and Sasuke nodded.

"Basically, I'm a hobo, and we're in gay love with each other," Naruto volunteered cheerfully.

Silence in the car. Sasuke would have smacked Naruto if they weren't in such an awkward situation. That's what he got for handing that moron the reins. And so he was surprised when the next sound to fill the car was Juugo's laughter. Juugo tilted back his head, a throaty chuckle rolling out.

"Damn, that's a good one, kid. This guy's funny."

Sasuke was still silent. Juugo continued to laugh but soon was made aware of the fact that he was the only one laughing.

"Okay, what _really_ happened?" Juugo prompted.

"Eh heh heh…" Naruto laughed nervously. Sasuke sighed, his eyes catching Juugo's now.

"He's joking, right?" Juugo asked, a hint of laughter still in his voice as he gestured towards Naruto. Sasuke looked away, blowing smoke out of the window.

"Oh my God," Juugo muttered in total bewilderment.

"Like I said before," Sasuke responded, casting his gaze out the front window. "Everyone has their secrets."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pheeew!
> 
> I've finally put you out of your misery. The lovebirds are back in the nest.
> 
> Thank you everyone for giving me all of this feedback and appreciation. You guys are great. I know it can be tough with such a long fic. >


	58. Chapter 58

"He _lived_ with you?!" Juugo asked disbelievingly.

Juugo was generally a mellow guy, but this was a special occasion.

"For two months," Sasuke confirmed.

"And Itachi was in on it too?"

"He was in the hospital, remember?"

Juugo just shook his head, shocked that Sasuke had been keeping such a big secret from him. Ordinarily, coming out to one's best friend would have been a monumental occasion, but compared to the other news Juugo had been given, Sasuke's orientation seemed more like a footnote.

"Yup! I've been around since October, though I met Sasuke in August."

"Christ…" Juugo answered, hardly able to believe it.

A homeless person had been hiding in his best friend's room for two months, and this was the first he'd heard of it? Sasuke had always seemed like so solitary, especially since his parents passed, but the two of them were even lovers. It was so outlandish that it sounded like a lie, but Sasuke was the last person who would lie about something like that. And even if he were, what motivation could he possibly have?

"Why are you guys all beat up?” Juugo asked. “Is someone giving you trouble?"

Juugo’s tone sounded a little dangerous through the second question. If someone else had been the cause of their injuries, Sasuke was quite sure that the night would not have ended well for them. Juugo's question elicited a bit more of Naruto's awkward laughter.

"Actually," Naruto confessed. "We did that to each other."

"…Oh."

Juugo was wondering exactly what kind of relationship these two had. It seemed rather abusive, actually.

"So... What's with this whole chase thing again?"

Now it was Sasuke's turn to look at Naruto for confirmation.

"Itachi found out about Naruto last Sunday,” Sasuke explained, for now leaving out the fact that Itachi had known all along. “We were going to drop Naruto off at the police station tomorrow to start up foster care, but…"

"But I decided to be a chickenshit and run off," Naruto interrupted dejectedly.

"Don't be so rough on yourself," Juugo told Naruto with a smile. He didn't know much about Naruto, but if he'd been homeless, there was probably a damned good reason why. Juugo doubted that Naruto was used to very good living situations. "I'd be scared too in that situation."

Naruto responded with a quiet and uncertain "thanks." If Juugo knew the full story, Naruto thought, he would have never said that. He was sure that Sasuke was still angry with him, but Naruto couldn't blame him. They'd already made it to Sasuke's house now. Juugo pulled into the driveway.

"I'll go in and give you guys some privacy," Naruto said, getting out the backseat and heading towards the house. Sasuke opened his mouth to protest, but Naruto interrupted him. "Yeah, yeah, I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

Sasuke handed Naruto the keys to the house and crossed his arms, sulking. It wasn't that he was afraid that Naruto would dash. Well, maybe it was a little bit. But also, Sasuke just didn't want to leave Naruto alone with his thoughts at such a time. Now Sasuke sat in the passenger seat, alone with Juugo.

"I like him," Juugo told Sasuke with a shrug, both of them looking forward.

"He's an idiot," Sasuke answered crossly. His frustration with Naruto still hadn't abated.

"You do seem to attract them," Juugo teased.

The sophomore huffed, unsure of whether that comment was more insulting to him or Juugo.

"So… Does anyone else know about him other than me and Itachi?"

Juugo’s gaze strayed over to Sasuke, and their eyes met.

"No."

"I know you said that everyone has secrets, but this is…" Juugo trailed off.

"Crazy?"

"I almost wouldn't believe it coming from anyone else," Juugo admitted.

Sasuke put his cigarette out on the car's ashtray. Perhaps he should be apologizing, but Sasuke wasn't a fan of insincerity. He had a good reason for keeping his mouth shut.

"In any case, he's not going to be a secret of mine much longer."

"But you guys will stay in touch, right?" Juugo asked reassuringly.

"Yeah…" Sasuke mumbled.

Sensing Sasuke's change in demeanor, Juugo frowned and patted Sasuke on the back, using a bit more force than he had probably intended to. It seemed to jar Sasuke's bruised muscles. He really was Aiko's child.

"Chin up, huh?" Juugo said, smiling at Sasuke. "If he's put up with this much of you already, I'm sure he's not going anywhere."

Juugo's attempts at cheering Sasuke up let Sasuke know he'd been too obvious. It was a charity he had difficulty accepting.

"Of course not," Sasuke answered with a certainty he didn't truly possess. "He's so harebrained that he couldn't even get the train schedules straight."

Juugo snickered, lighting up another cigarette and offering the pack to Sasuke. Sasuke shook his head. Juugo noticed that Sasuke's eyes kept drifting over to the house.

"I won't keep you any longer, Sasuke."

Yet Sasuke still hesitated before getting out of the car.

"I would have never found him without your help, Juugo."

Juugo froze momentarily, staring back at Sasuke.

"Thank you for all of this," Sasuke mumbled. "Thanks for trusting me."

Sasuke unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the door, standing on his driveway now.

"Why wouldn't I?"

Sasuke nodded, looking away before before tensing his arm to shut the car door. He paused.

"Hey, Juugo…"

Sasuke turned around, glancing at Juugo hesitantly.

"Yeah?"

He leaned against the frame of the car door, casting Juugo a hesitant look.

"We're good, right?" Sasuke asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

A lot of secrets had come out tonight. Sasuke remembered the way he felt when he found out about Juugo's psychiatric problems. He understood the man's need for privacy. In fact, he knew that he would have kept it to himself as well in Juugo's shoes.

It wasn't that he was angry with Juugo; he just got this unsettling feeling that he didn't know his friend as well as he thought he had. He had wondered if they had never been as close as he had once believed. Keeping his own secrets didn't bother Sasuke; that just made him less vulnerable. But it could be more difficult to palate when it was someone else keeping the secrets, keeping their own walls up. He suspected that Juugo was feeling the same thing right now.

"We're good, Sasuke," Juugo reassured him with a nod. "I understand why you kept quiet, but remember that you can always talk to me."

Sasuke sighed, smiling. He was pleased to have a friend as easygoing as Juugo. He couldn't imagine the complications this might cause in other friendships.

"Same goes for you," Sasuke answered. "See you around."

Juugo flicked him a wave, and Sasuke shut the door and walked towards his house. Juugo rolled down the window by a crack.

"Sasuke," Juugo called quickly, causing Sasuke to pivot. "Do something about your face, okay? You look like shit."

He wondered what exactly Juugo was referring to until he reached up to his cheek and winced, his finger coming back smeared with blood.

"What would I do without you around to point out the obvious?" Sasuke spoke back, loudly so that Juugo could hear across the driveway.

"Beats me. Later, brat."

Juugo turned on the ignition, waving at Sasuke before backing out of the driveway. He entered the house to find Naruto sitting at the table, lethargically sipping on a glass of orange juice. Sasuke walked up to the threshold of the kitchen and stood there, staring at Naruto abruptly.

"I'm still pissed at you," Sasuke said guardedly.

Naruto slumped, holding each arm with the opposite hand. He seemed to tense, as if anxiety were getting the better of him. He could have just been doing this to evade Sasuke's wrath, but this certainly wasn't Naruto's style. Sasuke couldn't say he envied the kid. The moment he had left Juugo's presence, all of his pep withered away. It had been an act, but Sasuke had already known that.

Sasuke quickly walked over to the table, taking a seat next to Naruto and holding his head in place with his hand.

"Christ, Naru…" Sasuke sighed, the nickname making him sound more vulnerable. He leaned forward and pecked him on the forehead, then moved Naruto's head so that it was resting on his shoulder. "Don't ever do that again."

"I'm sorry, Sasuke," Naruto said weakly, his face resting on Sasuke's.

Sasuke placed his hand on Naruto's back, then felt his arms and face.

"You're like ice."

Naruto had been stuck out there since one in the morning, at the latest. It was now past five.

"I'm used to it," Naruto muttered lazily, reluctant to be roused. He felt like he didn't have the strength to move.

"Not anymore you aren't," Sasuke countered. There was a time when Naruto lived in such weather on a daily basis, but this didn't mean it had ever been good for his health. He had to get Naruto warm and dry.

"Are you hungry?"

"No."

Definitely an uncharacteristic response from Naruto. Even knowing everything Naruto was going through, it still felt a little uncanny.

"Okay."

Quietly, they returned to Sasuke's bedroom. Naruto's note was still on Sasuke's bedstand. In his haste, Sasuke had forgotten to take it with him. Naruto was pained when he saw it again, staring at it as if dazed. Sasuke noticed, and after hesitating for a second, he mercifully stuffed the note in the drawer of his bedstand.

"Get some rest."

"No…" Naruto mumbled.

"Why not?"

"We only have a few hours. I want to be awake for them."

Naruto sat on Sasuke's desk chair. He would have lain down on the bed but didn't want to get it wet and muddy. Sasuke nodded. He was so horribly tempted to join Naruto in bed, but he knew that if they slept, the next time they opened their eyes they'd have to pack Naruto to leave. It was past five in the morning.

"Wait here a second."

Sasuke left the room, closing the door behind him. Across the hall, he turned Itachi's doorknob quietly, waiting until it had been turned completely before opening the door.

He wasn't ready to say goodbye to Naruto yet. Not after everything that had happened that night. Itachi was breathing low and deep. Sasuke quietly moved to the foot of the bed, grasping Itachi's foot and wiggling his leg. Itachi always had been a light sleeper, and the Vicodin was likely out of his system by now.

"Nnn…" Itachi mumbled, trying to fall back to sleep. Sasuke shook his leg again.

Itachi's breathing ceased for a moment, soon after returning to normal. He pulled his leg away and lifted up his head as he squinted, trying to decipher the figure by the foot of his bed through the minimal lighting.

"Sasuke?" Itachi muttered sluggishly, not bothering to look at the clock by his bed. "What time is it?"

"Hey, Itachi," Sasuke answered with forced casualness.

It was a tone his brother never used, and so Itachi knew immediately that something was amiss, though the odd hour of night was enough of an indicator on its own..

"What's wrong?"

"Can we have one more day?"

He didn't have to be specific.

"Sasuke…" Itachi answered, a hint of warning in his voice. "It's been set for today all this time, and you have school tomorrow."

"Please, Itachi," Sasuke requested, his voice quiet and almost tremulous. "Just one more day. I swear that I won't ask you for more."

Itachi paused, his senses coming to him as his body regained consciousness. It was not his brother's habit to beg.

"Why one more day?"

Sasuke swallowed hard. He couldn't tell Itachi that Naruto had tried to run away.

"I'd rather not talk about it. But they never cover anything important at school the first day back anyway," Sasuke mumbled, sounding exhausted in every sense of the word. "It's…it's just… _very_ important to me."

He had emphasized the words " _very_ important" in a way that was so uncharacteristic that it actually surprised Itachi. It wasn't often that Sasuke cared about anything so deeply. Itachi was silent for several seconds, and Sasuke held his breath.

"Alright. One more day, but this is your only extension."

"Thank you," Sasuke answered sincerely.

“Mn,” Itachi answered, sounding like he was already on his way to dozing off.

Sasuke gently shut the door behind him and returned to his bedroom. Naruto, still seated on Sasuke's large chair, had brought his knees up to his chest and was hugging his shins. Despite the fact that Sasuke was very rightfully angry with Naruto, he was beginning to regret treating him so harshly after he'd found him.

"I got us another day."

"Oh, thank God…" Naruto sighed, a slight shudder to his voice. "Thank God."

Sasuke stripped off his clothing, now wet with both rainwater and perspiration.

"Sleeping in the nude tonight?" Naruto asked. Sasuke was glad to hear a hint of flirtation in Naruto's voice. It appeared that the news had brightened his spirits.

"No, I'm taking a shower. Join me."

"I feel like I'm going to drop," Naruto mumbled.

Sasuke hesitated to use the shower alone. What if Naruto tried to escape again? The trains were running now. Yet he knew he should trust Naruto more than that. After all, he could've easily left even after Sasuke had found him.

"You're already wet, and we need to treat our faces either way. You've got blood on you."

Both of them did.

Naruto groaned, tilting his head back.

"But I don't _want_ to."

"Tough," Sasuke answered, giving Naruto's ear a tug. "We'll be done in under ten minutes."

Without further announcement, Sasuke walked into the bathroom, turned the water on, waited for it to heat, and got into the shower. Steam wafted upwards. Sasuke's body, now covered in goosebumps, had still not warmed itself since he'd gotten home, so he cranked the water up hot.

The water stung his face, but it relaxed his poorly rested muscles. All the sweat, mud, and blood from just hours ago was washed from his body and spiraled down the drain. He reflected that the person he was a year ago would have never gotten himself into this mess. Then again, he much preferred who he was now.

By the time Naruto entered the bathroom, Sasuke had already finished shampooing his hair, which was now coated with conditioner. He was scrubbing his body down when Naruto entered the shower unannounced.

"You planning on hogging all the hot water for the _entire_ shower?" Naruto asked. The smile on his face was much smaller and weaker than his ordinary grin, but it was a start.

"Tch."

Sasuke moved over, allowing Naruto to soak his face and body. The Uchiha was temporarily distracted by the scars marring Naruto's skin, reminded of what put them there. It would be okay now, though. Sasuke and his brother would keep track of him.

Naruto quickly scrubbed shampoo into his hair, not bothering with conditioner and soaping the rest of his body. Sasuke was almost done himself, rinsing the conditioner out of his hair.

Ordinarily, such a situation would have caused their hormones to best them. However, they currently lacked energy for anything exceeding the bare minimum. Naruto wasn't the only one who was exhausted.

Naruto had bruises on his body from being slammed into the dumpster. Sasuke’s bitten tongue was swollen, his throat ached, and he felt a bruise forming on his jawbone. They both had lingering headaches from Naruto butting heads with Sasuke. Sasuke felt himself begin to grow a little dizzy, the hot steam making it difficult to breathe.

By the time Sasuke was clean, so was Naruto. They shut of the water and toweled themselves off. Sasuke was already beginning to feel better, the grimy sweat and drying blood cleaned off of his body.

He looked into the mirror and mentally winced. He could definitely see a bruise forming on his jaw, and his forehead was also swollen. Naruto wasn't much better off, with a bruised cheekbone and split lip. At least neither of them would need stitches.

Wordlessly, Sasuke gestured for Naruto to sit down. He knew that Naruto would understand him. Sasuke took a Q-tip out of the drawer, covering one side with triple antibiotic ointment. Naruto smirked, causing his lip to move just as Sasuke was sterilizing it.

"What?" Sasuke asked, frustrated that the movement had interrupted his efforts.

"It's just that this is reminding me an awful lot of the first time I came here."

"Yeah…"

Just like last time, Naruto had been seated on the toilet, Sasuke tending to him with bandages and Neosporin as his bangs would brush his lips. Only this time, they were completely naked rather than just shirtless.

"We didn't think we had very long back then, either. But we were happy."

Sasuke sighed. He supposed that part of the problem was that they had been accustomed to a very unrealistic dynamic for two people their age. Expectations.

"Yes, we were," Sasuke answered as he put some Neosporin on Naruto's lip.

"Only now, I can do this," Naruto remarked devilishly, gently directing Sasuke's arm out of the way and kissing him, their sore lips sticking to each other's. He maneuvered just well enough to avoid getting ointment on Sasuke.

"You can do one hell of a lot more than that, Naruto," Sasuke teased him, the corner of his lips inching upwards.

"Don't get too eager," Naruto chuckled flirtatiously. "It's bedtime."

Naruto had a point, honestly. He didn't have the energy for it. Sasuke couldn't do much about Naruto's bruises. He'd have Naruto apply ice once he was done.

They sat there together, silently sharing an understanding of that moment and what it was to both of them. The way Sasuke so gently tended to Naruto’s injuries shared his emotions just as deftly as any words could.

He cleaned Naruto's cheek, then he had Naruto put his pajamas on in the bedroom while he treated his own wounds. Sasuke dressed himself and walked to the kitchen. He returned with two ice packs, one for each of them, wrapped in dish towels.

Naruto was already in bed. Sasuke joined him, quite gladly.

"Here, put this on your eye," Sasuke said, handing him the pack.

"Shit! That's cold!"

"Yes," Sasuke said in a dry tone that clearly insulted Naruto's intelligence, "It's ice."

The two of them lay next to each other, both on their backs, for some time. Naruto closed his eyes, turned… Couldn't sleep. Turned again, and still no luck. This was ending up just like last night. The sun hadn't come over the horizon yet, but dawn was approaching, the black sky making way to a dark blue.

His train would have been leaving just about now. Naruto hated to admit that there was a part of him that regretted his decision to leave with Sasuke, though he truly did believe he'd made the right decision. He glanced over at Sasuke, who was still lying on his back, his eyes wide open as he held the ice to his jaw and forehead intermittently. He was, at the very least, glad to be next to Sasuke.

"Hey, Sasuke, aren't you gonna try to sleep?"

Sasuke sighed.

"C'mon, what is it?" Naruto pressed, glancing at Sasuke's face.

"I can’t sleep."

Naruto was on his stomach, resting on his elbows so that he could peer into Sasuke's eyes.

"Why not? Aren't you tired? We basically didn't sleep last night."

Well, Naruto hadn't. Sasuke had gotten a couple hours.

"If I fall asleep…" Sasuke mumbled. "Never mind..."

“I might run away?”

Naruto looked down, his guilt obvious. Sasuke looked away and swallowed. He wouldn’t deny it.

"What can I do to reassure you?"

Sasuke shrugged.

"I'll do anything."

Naruto knew his promises were unreliable now. After all, he'd told Sasuke he would never leave him. Naruto knew that Sasuke feared losing him so acutely, and yet he still had done this to him.

"Doesn't that put the burden of figuring this out on me?" Sasuke grumbled. "If you want me to sleep so bad, you figure something out."

The words left Sasuke’s mouth reflexively, his strained mind missing the opportunity to adjust them.

Naruto sighed, frustrated with the situation, not with Sasuke. Well… Maybe he _was_ a little bit frustrated with Sasuke, but he couldn't blame Sasuke for being pissed. Naruto knew that he didn't have much place to complain.

"I don't know if there's anything I can do or say, Sasuke. Words are just…words. I already went back on my word, and I don't believe I can ever forgive myself for that."

Last night, he'd nearly been abandoned by the same guy who had sworn never to leave him. Besides, he was tired, cold, hungry, and his head hurt. He was fed up with this. Nonetheless, he was beginning to regret the harshness in his words.

"But even still, I swear on my life that I will stay with you," Naruto told him, his voice shaking with conviction. "I made my decision in that alleyway, and I'm not turning back. I know it's too early to be asking for trust, but Sasuke, you need to rest."

"I'm…" Sasuke's breathing became shallow. "I'm just…"

Sasuke wasn't able to speak anymore. Why was it that it suddenly felt so difficult to breathe? Itachi was going to go back to work and school, soon enough. What would he do if Naruto left? He'd almost lost him, just hours ago. His breathing came faster, and he bit down on his tongue, still sore from when Naruto had punched him. He didn't have to finish his sentence for Naruto to read his thoughts.

"Yeah, I know. I'm scared too."

Sasuke held his breath. He wanted to argue, but when Naruto put it that way, he didn't know what to say. So Sasuke rested his forearm over his eyes, hiding them from Naruto.

"We have a lot to deal with over the next day, so we need to have our wits about us," Naruto told Sasuke gently. "We'll be more prepared if we rest."

Sometimes Sasuke really did feel like the younger one of the two, when Naruto spoke like this. However, such times were admittedly quite rare. He nodded. He had no idea _how_ he'd fall asleep with all of this at stake. Yet if Sasuke was as good at controlling his thoughts as he always told himself he was, he knew that he'd be able to handle this.

Naruto pet Sasuke's forehead, which had tensed without his knowledge, the muscles along his brows taut. As Naruto's fingertips brushed against them, Sasuke relaxed. Naruto stroked his fingers through Sasuke's hair gently, and Sasuke focused on the sensation. He felt his mind begin to slip away, and he allowed this. He allowed all of his fears and anxieties to fade away, focusing on the feeling of his hair moving ever so slightly with Naruto's movements.

Naruto stopped now, nestling his face between Sasuke's shoulder and his chin. Naruto was still smaller than Sasuke, but given Naruto's quick growth spurt, this might not be the case for long. Naruto's inhales were quickly growing deeper and longer, Sasuke stroking his back. As difficult as Sasuke had anticipated sleep to be, it came to him very quickly once he allowed it.

Sasuke's soft snoring filled the room. It was then that a repulsive thought hit Naruto. He could leave. Sasuke was fast asleep. The trains were running, several within the hour. It would be so easy. It wasn't too late.

It disgusted him that he'd even think that. What Sasuke had said to him in that alleyway had been correct. He knew what the best decision was. Strength was acting upon that conviction. And what's more, he would _never_ do this to Sasuke. He supposed he couldn't help what his thoughts were. What really mattered was what he did. So he tuned it out, counting his breathing and joining his lover in slumber.

* * *

By the time Sasuke awoke, it was almost one in the afternoon. And there it was. Sunday, January 6, 2013, 12:49 PM. If Itachi hadn't been merciful, they might have been in the car right now, driving Naruto to the station. The fact that it was already so late in the day was a little depressing. However, what Naruto had said was true. He felt a little less exhausted, a little less pissed off, a little less scared.

Sasuke's first instinct was to glance down and search for Naruto, and he quickly processed the weight of Naruto's head resting on his chest, sun trickling into the room. Sasuke knew that he couldn't get out of bed without waking Naruto up. He took in the moment, unsure of how many more like it there would be over the next few years. Even if Naruto happened to be placed near Sasuke, there was no guarantee that Naruto's new guardians would be so permissive as to allow them to spend the night together.

Sasuke gently stroked Naruto's temple, the boy's short hair between his fingers. He pet Naruto's cheek, brushing the back of his fingers against the marked skin. Still snoring, Naruto nuzzled into Sasuke's hand. They lay together like that for about ten minutes until Sasuke finally propped himself up in bed, causing Naruto to grunt and resituate himself.

"Mn, S'suke?"

"It's past one."

"Noooo," Naruto groaned in lamentation, still half asleep.

Naruto rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, squinting as he adjusted to the light of the room. He looked over at Sasuke.

"Dude… Your face," Naruto grumbled, squinting his eyes for a better look. "You look like hell."

Naruto’s nose had swollen, and both of them had bruises on their foreheads and cheeks.

"Yeah, right back at you."

Naruto slid his feet out of bed, as did Sasuke.

"What are we going to tell Itachi?"

Sasuke sighed. Would he lie to Itachi? If he told Itachi that they'd done this to each other, it might raise questions in his mind about the health of their relationship. Still, the only possible culprits were either each other or someone else, and Sasuke didn't want Itachi believing that the two of them were in any danger.

"We'll just tell him we had a bad argument."

"Okay, but can I tell him this doesn't usually happen or somethin' like that? Put his mind at ease?"

 _Usually?_ Sasuke exhaled.

"Just leave the talking to me, Naruto."

"Fiiine," Naruto sighed.

Sasuke noticed then that a piece of notebook paper had been slid under his door. He picked it up, Itachi's tidy scrawl taking up just a few lines on the top.

_Sasuke and Naruto,_

_Sayuri is in town, so I'm staying at her house today. I'll have my phone on at all times. Do NOT hesitate to call if you need me. You have the house to yourselves until about 11 tonight. You're welcome._

_-I_

Perplexed, Sasuke held the paper out as he read it. Naruto peered over his shoulder.

"Hell yeah! Your brother knows what's up."

Of course Itachi would know, given that it was their last day together, that they'd like to have a little privacy. Had he heard them yesterday? Oh God…

Whatever the case, this meant that they didn't have to bother with explanations regarding their appearances for a while. This was also the first time they'd had the house to themselves in over a week. Even if just for a day, it would be like old times.

"Sayuri, huh?" Naruto remarked teasingly. "What a pretty name."

Sasuke grunted.

"You know, Sasuke, Sayuri is a _girl's_ name."

"Your point?" he asked gruffly.

"I think your brother is on a _date_."

What? How was this possible? Itachi hadn't even been around anyone for months now. Why hadn't Itachi told Sasuke about her? She could have been an old classmate. Even still…

"Males and females can be just friends."

"Hanging out alone? Until eleven? I dunno, Sasuke…"

"He's not on a date," Sasuke countered abruptly.

"Wait a second…" Naruto said devilishly, glancing Sasuke up and down. "You're jealous."

"That's ridiculous. Why would I care if my brother's dating? He's a grown man."

No, Naruto knew. If Sasuke really had no conflicting feelings regarding this, he would have at least admitted the _possibility_ of it being a date. It was just like how children get jealous when their parents begin to date new people. Then again, wasn't Sasuke still kind of a kid? It was rather adorable, Naruto thought.

"I totally agree. Why would you care?" Naruto asked, giving an insincere shrug.

"I wouldn't."

"No, you wouldn't."

Sasuke cleared his throat, turning towards the stairway.

"I'm making us breakfast."

"Don't you mean lunch?"

"What do you want to eat?" Sasuke inquired, ignoring Naruto's clarification.

"You mean it's up to me?"

Considering that this was likely to be the last meal Sasuke would cook Naruto in a while, he thought he'd give Naruto the choice.

"You heard me, didn't you?"

Sasuke took a couple steps down the stairs, followed by Naruto.

"Got any cup ramen?"

Perhaps Naruto was trying to be considerate.

"I'll cook you anything you want."

"Cup ramen?"

Sasuke regarded Naruto incredulously. He was offering him any dish within his power to create, and Naruto was asking for instant ramen?

"Are you serious?"

Naruto beamed at Sasuke, his mouth opened to reply.

"Forget it. I should've known."

"Eh? Did I do something wrong?”

"No, you didn't do anything wrong," Sasuke reassured him, sounding strangely gentle.

"Stop the presses! Was that a compliment from the notorious Uchiha Sasuke?"

"You call that a compliment?"

"Yup! I'll quote you. Print it out. Frame it. Put it on my new bedroom wall."

Naruto paused to hold his hands out, gesturing as if reading over a large sign.

"'You didn't do anything wrong. Love, Sasuke.'"

"If you give me proper incentive, I might even sign it for you," Sasuke replied, his face flat but his voice carrying just the slightest hint of playfulness.

"'You didn't completely fuck up matters beyond any hope of repair. Love, Sasuke.'"

"I get the point," Sasuke grunted.

"No offense, Sasuke, but I'm not exactly rushing to list you as a personal reference on my job applications."

"You think I can't be effusive when the situation calls for it?" Sasuke responded, a crooked smile on his face.

"Eh…E-what-ive?"

"Enthusiastic," Sasuke clarified, finally reaching the bottom of the stairs.

Naruto rolled his eyes. Sasuke always had to use big words, didn't he? Though he supposed, to be fair, the word Sasuke first used had fewer syllables.

" _Oh_ ," Naruto answered, beginning to laugh. "I _know_ you can be enthusiastic, but that's in the context of the bedroom, baby."

Rolling his eyes, Sasuke walked into the kitchen and fetched two cups of ramen out of the pantry. He figured he might as well join Naruto. He filled a pot up with water and turned the stove on high, waiting for the water to come to a boil.

"This is like…the worst part."

"What?"

"Waiting. You have to boil the water. Then you have to put it in the cup. Then you have to wait for three minutes. Three _minutes_."

"Try baking bread," Sasuke answered, rolling his eye and recalling the hours he spent with his mother waiting for the dough to rise. "Just how lazy are you?"

"Not lazy. Just hungry and impatient."

The water had already come to a boil. Sasuke pulled back the paper lid on each of the ramen cups and filled them with water, covering them again as they commenced their torturous three minute wait. They took the two cups of ramen to the kitchen table, along with one pair of single use wooden chopsticks and a fork. Sasuke was glad that he'd slept. He hadn't realized how badly the lack of sleep had been draining him until becoming rested.

"Hey, why do you have chopsticks?"

Naruto was tapping his bare feet on the floor impatiently, painstakingly keeping himself from eating.

"Because that's what you eat ramen with, dumbass."

"We're not in Japan. We're in your kitchen. Are you trying to impress me?" Naruto inquired with a grin.

"Get over yourself. This is how I was taught to eat ramen, and I'm not going to change it just to make you feel better."

Sasuke glanced down at his cell phone, noting that the time had finally arrived.

"Alright," Sasuke announced, opening up his cup of noodles

Naruto dug in quickly, shamelessly plowing at the curly noodles with his fork and slurping the broth, getting a dab on the table. Sasuke tsk'd, leisurely sipping at his ramen, although he couldn't deny that he was hungry enough to be tempted by Naruto's approach. He neatly pinched a bite of noodles between his chopsticks and slurped them up.

"Hey, S'suke," Naruto requested with his mouth full.

"Yes?"

"Teach me how!" he demanded, pointing at Sasuke's chopsticks.

Sasuke regarded Naruto a little hesitantly before getting up and fetching a new pair of chopsticks. He handed it to Naruto, who stared at the wooden sticks in confusion.

"You break them," Sasuke told him patronizingly. Hadn't he watched Sasuke?

"Yeah, no shit," Naruto bristled. "But how do you do that without breaking the chopsticks?"

"Just pull them apart."

Naruto tugged, using a little more force than was probably necessary. His arms flew outward a bit after the chopsticks broke.

"Hold the bottom stick between the crease of your thumb and pointer finger," Sasuke instructed, holding the chopstick. "Then pinch the top stick with your thumb and pointer finger."

Naruto held the sticks rigidly.

"Make sure the tips are even."

His pupil squinted his eyes as he concentrated, maneuvering the chopsticks around so that they resembled Sasuke's.

"Then move them, like this," Sasuke demonstrated, neatly tapping the tips of the chopsticks together.

Naruto attempted to do the same, this chopsticks slipping past each other in opposite directions. He tried again, hoping to get the tips to meet. Naruto was holding the utensil far too close to the tip, but if Naruto couldn't even manage using them at that distance, Sasuke figured he might as well not mention that it was considered poor table manners to do this.

"Kinda like this?" Naruto asked, the chopsticks flopping gracelessly.

"No," Sasuke deadpanned. "Not at all like that."

"How's it any different from what you're doin?" Naruto scowled.

Sasuke shrugged.

"You're right."

Naruto had been ready to spit back a response, but that stopped him in his tracks.

"I'm _what_?" Naruto asked incredulously.

"I said that you're right," Sasuke confirmed with a slight smile, which actually disturbed Naruto a little. "We're doing the exact same thing. Now, eat."

Naruto watched Sasuke adeptly pick up some noodles with his chopsticks, flashing him look of arrogant mockery. Dammit, Sasuke was challenging him! He smirked at Sasuke, reaching down for his first bite.

He got a noodle on top of his lower chopstick, but when he tried to bring the top one down, it slid right past the narrow lump of noodles. He tried to just raise the bottom chopstick up to his mouth, but the noodles slid off. Naruto tried once again, vainly attempting to at least guide the noodles into his mouth.

Forsaking proper form completely, he fisted the chopsticks, one on each side of his palm. He hoped that as he clenched his fist, he might be able to pick something up and then hold his hand sideways to eat. The noodles slid and fell into his ramen, splashing his face at the collision. Sasuke was just sitting there watching, smirking at him.

"I'm gonna learn!" Naruto shouted back, slamming down his chopsticks. "You'll rue the day you looked down on me for my chopsticks skills!"

"Look down on you? Why would I do that?" Sasuke asked disingenuously. "After all, we were doing the exact same thing."

Sasuke offered Naruto his fork back.

"For now," Sasuke offered, at least hoping to make Naruto's defeat a little more palatable for him. After all, he needed to eat.

"For now," Naruto reluctantly stated as he accepted his fork.

Perhaps Sasuke should have let Naruto try to eat with chopsticks. The delay would have worked out nicely. Naruto was done eating long before Sasuke, but nonetheless, he waited patiently for Sasuke to finish.

Upon finishing their meals, they made their way up to the bedroom. Neither of them really knew what to do. It seemed like the day should be a special one. They didn't want to be in public either; they wanted to cherish whatever limited privacy they had left. But what was there to do?

They watched a few vloggers on Sasuke's computer as they lay on the bed together, both on their stomachs and facing the computer. Sasuke picked out Naruto's favorite users, trying to distract him. Naruto's eyes didn't seem to be on the screen. Sasuke waited until the eight minute video they were watching was over before commenting.

"Not all that into it, hm?" Sasuke asked quietly.

"No."

Sasuke frowned. He would have asked Naruto what was wrong if it weren't so painfully obvious.

"What are you thinking?"

Naruto wished he hadn't brought all of those horrific memories to the forefront of his mind last night. He'd done it to strengthen his resolve and talk himself out of their plan. Now all it did was heighten his anxieties.

"I can't…" Naruto spoke, his voice choking off. Sasuke was tempted to change the subject for him, but he recalled what happened the last time he'd allowed this. Maybe this was something that Naruto needed to talk out.

Sasuke knew that he was the only one who Naruto had spoken to about what happened to him. Sasuke had had both his brother and his psychiatrist, though Sasuke was never really a fan of therapy. Naruto had only really spoken to Sasuke about what happened in any detail once. So Sasuke switched over to his side, pulling Naruto into his chest and petting his back. Their bodies both curled slightly, both of them lying on their sides and facing each other.

"I'm remembering shit I don't wanna remember."

Sasuke nodded. He could never understand completely what had happened to Naruto, but there was something in Naruto's eyes that resonated with him.

"What can I do to help?"

Naruto glanced over at Sasuke, Naruto's afflicted expression evolving into a smile. Soon enough, he was chuckling, though rather mildly.

"What's so funny?" Sasuke asked, a little guardedly.

"It's just… God, when I met you, I'd never expect you'd say something like that. You really are sweet, in the end."

"I'm kind to those who've earned it," Sasuke answered crossly.

Naruto grinned, clearly complimented by that sentiment.

"What happened…" Naruto started, his voice quickly becoming quieter and more serious, "I was conflicted. I left at around midnight and had to sit there and wait for my train, and I got second thoughts about leaving."

Sasuke nodded, encouraging Naruto to continue. He gently stroked the hair at the nape of Naruto's neck, causing Naruto to bring his face even closer into Sasuke's.

"I know I should've been thinking about stuff like high school and the risks of being homeless and living situations… You know, the practical stuff. But all I could think about was you."

Sasuke stopped breathing momentarily, shock on his face. He had no idea that Naruto had been so torn over leaving, even as he waited for his train in that alleyway. Leave it to Naruto not to mind the practicalities. The only thought holding Naruto back was him.

"Honestly, that's what killed me about the whole situation. You've lost so many people, people who meant so much to you," Naruto mumbled, his voice breaking, "And now I was just going to be another name to add to the list."

"But you're not," Sasuke answered, resting his forehead against Naruto's, the bridges of their noses brushing against each other slightly. "You stayed. Thank you."

Naruto smiled, but it looked a little sad. Sasuke held Naruto's hand, kneading the flesh of his palm and rubbing each finger, base to tip. It soothed Naruto. Naruto was at least glad that he had managed to make Sasuke so happy. If anything good came out of this horrible situation, it was at least that.

"The problem I'm having now… When I ran away, I promised myself I wouldn't ever go back. I thought I was just…forgetting, over time," Naruto explained, biting on his dry bottom lip. His voice began to choke off. "So I forced myself to remember. I remembered everything, in vivid detail. And now it won't get out of my head…"

Sasuke kissed Naruto's forehead, uncertain of what to say. He tried to put himself in Naruto's shoes, but he knew that Naruto and he were very different people. The two of them were comforted by very different methods and were haunted by different experiences.

"Would talking help?"

Naruto sighed.

"I don't think it'd hurt. Not like my mind isn't going there anyway."

Sasuke nodded. He still didn't know what to say. He was growing frustrated with himself. It wasn't often that he so genuinely wanted to comfort someone.

"Where is your mind, exactly?"

"I remember thinking I was going to die. He was strangling me when he cut me."

Naruto saw Sasuke's Adam's apple move as he swallowed, and Sasuke felt his bones go cold. Sasuke tried not to look as pained and angry as he was to hear that. If Sasuke looked too affected, Naruto would probably try to change the subject, so he kept it together.

"It lingers there?"

All Sasuke could really think to do was ask questions to encourage Naruto. He didn't have anything to say. What was there to say to something like that, anyway?

"Not even…" Naruto trailed, squinting his eyes as if trying to decipher something distant. "It's all over the place. I was remembering leaving. I ran for miles, and it was August, so it was hot as balls out."

"How far did you go?"

Again, Sasuke didn't really know what to say, hoping he didn’t look as awkward as he felt. He had no idea what he could say or do to help. He wished, more than anything, that he could have been there to protect Naruto. He felt a little powerless when Naruto talked to him about these things, and he hated imagining this happening to someone he cared about. Then again, how much worse must those memories have been for Naruto?

"A couple towns over, easy, but then I stopped for a while. I stayed with Jiraiya and everyone for a month or so I guess."

“Jiraiya?” Sasuke asked.

“I didn’t tell you about him?”

Sasuke shook his head.

“He’s that guy who basically taught me how to be homeless.”

Sasuke remembered Naruto _had_ mentioned Jiraiya. He just hadn’t given Sasuke his name.

“I remember you mentioning him. Why'd you leave? Cops?"

That's why Naruto had left the park, after all. Naruto frowned, and Sasuke began to regret asking.

"I left because Jiraiya died."

Sasuke tried to hide his shock. Naruto had mentioned the man before, but Sasuke didn't know he'd spent a whole month with him. And Sasuke certainly didn't know that anyone close to Naruto had died. What's more, was this a common thing that happened to homeless people? Or was it completely unrelated to the man's vagrancy? He didn't know much about that way of life, but he was even gladder that he'd talked Naruto into staying.

"Naruto…"

"Ah…" Naruto interrupted, feeling a little silly for upsetting Sasuke over it. "I didn't even know him for a full month, you know? I mean, it's not the same as…"

"Why compare them?" Sasuke interrupted.

They both knew what Naruto had been alluding to. Nothing could be gained from Naruto comparing his loss to Sasuke’s. Sasuke just knew that it had to have been rough.

"I felt like I shouldn't be complaining to you about it," Naruto mumbled.

Sasuke took a deep breath in and sighed. He wanted to apologize for not knowing what to say but was too proud to do so.

"Naruto, I thought you'd know me better by now."

"Shut up," Naruto answered. He made a show of making a sour face, but he knew what Sasuke was trying to say. A loss was a loss, whatever the situation. Sasuke grunted.

"I'm sorry I gave you such a hard time when I found you," Sasuke admitted. "I'd just made things out a lot simpler in my mind. I thought you'd planned it out and lied through your teeth."

Naruto knew that Sasuke must have felt betrayed, deceived, and abandoned. He would have too, in Sasuke's situation. Besides, Naruto had just fired right back at Sasuke rather than trying to make peace.

"Don't apologize, bastard," Naruto answered, smiling at him. "Maybe that's what it took to get through to me, eh?"

They lay there silently for a few moments, and it wasn’t uncomfortable. Naruto seemed to be lost in his own thoughts, though he realized that he could say anything now and not be judged. He finally lifted his gaze up from the bed, looking back at Sasuke.

"Thanks, Sasuke."

He shrugged.

"I don't feel like I managed to do much, but you're welcome."

Naruto shook his head, placing his hand on Sasuke's chest.

"Really, Sasuke… Just being here and listening to me yammer is enough."

Sasuke nodded, inhaling deeply, then exhaling.

"I can't say I'm looking forward to tomorrow," Naruto admitted. "But it seems a little more manageable now."

Sasuke bit his lip, glancing down at the sheets nervously.

"Hey, Naruto, after we drop you off…"

"Yeah?"

"Call me as soon as you know anything."

"I will."

"Just… I probably won't be able to contact you, so remember to keep me posted."

Sasuke knew that if he didn't hear from Naruto, worry would torture him. Naruto probably knew this as well. Was Sasuke worried that he'd forget about him or something? Seriously…

"If I have any say in it, I'll call so much you'll get sick of me."

"I'll hold you to it."

"You might regret that comment."

Sasuke didn't even consider that a possibility for an instant, still appearing uneasy.

"I can live with that."

Naruto leaned forward, pecking Sasuke on the lips to reassure him.

"It's not goodbye, Sasuke. I've done this many times before. It's never taken more than a few weeks to get placed."

Sasuke swallowed tight. Naruto shouldn't have had to do this so many times. It pissed him off, but when was the world ever fair?

"It's different from how it was before. You're older and stronger. You have a trustworthy adult for support and a lover who would do anything to keep you safe. I know your past is terrifying, Naruto. I can't even imagine. But that's not going to be your future."

Naruto's body was beginning to tremble. The words leaving Sasuke’s mouth were so kind that Naruto felt his eyes burn, then begin to tear.

"I've been running from this for over a year. I would've rather done anything than what I'm going to do _tomorrow_."

Naruto turned over, not wanting Sasuke to see his face anymore. He moved back, cradling himself inside of Sasuke. Sasuke placed his arms around Naruto, their bodies spooning against each other. Sasuke locked his arms together, protecting Naruto, guarding him.

"And now you're facing it. Isn't that how you heal from something like that?" Sasuke asked gently. He hated preaching, but he was speaking from experience. "The scarier it is, the stronger you get."

Naruto nodded, tears quietly sliding down his cheeks now. He grabbed Sasuke's arms to gesture that he wanted to be held still tighter into Sasuke's body. He felt that if Sasuke wrapped around him enough, he just might be able to disappear.

But he knew Sasuke was right. It assured him to think of this as an accomplishment that would lead to personal growth rather than a meritless hazard. Every pain he felt had a purpose, made him stronger.

Sasuke would know what he was talking about, out of anyone. He recalled the day Sasuke had decided to quit dealing drugs. He remembered the day that the two of them sat in his old house's lot, recalling the past. Sasuke had done the very same thing; he'd faced it.

"Naturally, the 'one and only Uzumaki Naruto' can do this," Sasuke said quietly, kissing the back of Naruto's head.

"You use my words to haunt me," Naruto answered with a rather melancholic hint of humor.

"I mean it. You can."

"I know," Naruto let out a prolonged sigh, allowing his body to relax in Sasuke's arms. "But I _really_ would rather not."

Sasuke frowned. There was no way around this for Naruto, and they both knew that.

"I don't think it's going to be as horrible as you expect," Sasuke said calmly. Naruto turned his body around to face Sasuke again, placing his hand on his chest and feeling the steady throb of his heartbeat. Sasuke was still _here_. Naruto wasn't alone quite yet.

"You've been running from this for so long that your mind's made it into a monster."

When Itachi had told Sasuke he was sick, a corner of his mind was already picturing him dead. Sasuke would move off to some unknown foster family, and Naruto would be out on the streets again. Of course, this wasn't the likeliest scenario by a longshot, but his biases from the past caused him to catastrophize. He knew Naruto's mind was doing the same.

"I hope you're right," Naruto answered, meeting Sasuke's eyes uncertainly.

Sasuke's rested his hand by Naruto's temple. When juxtaposed with Naruto's broad face, suddenly his hand didn't seem so oversized. He stroked Naruto's forehead, which was just slightly sweaty, with the back of his hand. Sasuke's lips were barely parted, a halcyon expression on his face. Naruto pressed his lips together and looked down as Sasuke's palm slid down to Naruto's cheeks. Sasuke's thumb rubbed over one of Naruto's scars, and Naruto gasped quickly, swallowing hard.

"It won't happen again," Sasuke insisted, sounding so sure of himself as he stared into Naruto's eyes. Sasuke said it in that way he had, where even if people had their doubts, he sounded so confident that it was tempting to take his words as a proven fact. "I won't let it."

Naruto, uncharacteristically speechless, looked back at Sasuke. He felt his throat grow tight, but he wouldn't allow his eyes to tear. Naruto knew that when Sasuke was set on something, his determination was… Sometimes, Sasuke seemed like a force of nature. He would trust him.

Naruto had learned from Sasuke that silence too can be meaningful. They seemed to speak through their eyes, Sasuke granting him the reassurance he needed so badly. Sasuke's hand was still resting on Naruto's cheek. Naruto only realized that his chest had been tight for so long, a cage seeming to smother his lungs and heart, when it relaxed. His breaths were no longer restricted. Sasuke's expression asked for permission, and Naruto understood just what he was asking for.

Sasuke moved forward, kissing Naruto softly. Naruto emitted a soft moan, combing his fingers through Sasuke's thick bangs. It was rare that Naruto could actually see a side of Sasuke's face uncovered. Naruto used to tease Sasuke that his hair hung like drapes. His jawline, in open view now, was thin and pronounced, and his pale skin was smooth if not bruised. He'd just shaved yesterday.

This kiss made both of their sore mouths sting, but neither of them cared.. Sasuke's tongue entered Naruto's mouth just slightly, soon met by Naruto's. They slid past each other, Naruto instinctively moving in closer to Sasuke, when they parted lips, they looked into each other's eyes yet again.

The last time they had made love, Naruto's eyes had looked at anything and everything _except_ Sasuke's. Naruto had been running, even then. Subconsciously, he was disengaging. But now, he didn't look away. He faced Sasuke, his eyes marked by love, sadness, and fear. He wasn't hiding from him anymore.

Although they only had one day, they kissed as if they had all the time in the world, leisurely, Naruto's hand resting on Sasuke's upper arm. Sasuke reached forward and massaged the back of Naruto's neck lightly. They lie there kissing for several more seconds before Sasuke tugged the bottom of Naruto's shirt upward.

"Ah ah," Naruto stopped him, wagging a finger. "Only if you take off your shirt too. You can't be the only one with a view here."

Naruto's desire for Sasuke to take his shirt off wasn't as hormone-driven as Naruto was making it sound. Really, Naruto was just craving the sight, knowing that he might not see Sasuke undressed in quite some time. He wanted to lie with him, skin on skin. It wasn't a matter of lust, at least not at this stage. He just wanted to _feel_ him. He wanted to feel his warmth, to be reminded in just one more way that he wasn't alone.

Sasuke smirked, pulling off his shirt and placing it a couple feet away. Naruto followed suit. They both lay on their sides, and Sasuke was the first to reach forward. He held his hand against Naruto's neck, rubbing his jawline with his thumb and gently caressing his other four fingers across the base of Naruto's skull. Naruto leaned into Sasuke's hand.

His pale fingers moved upwards, fondling Naruto's earlobe, a sensitive spot for him. He felt his cheeks go slightly redder as Sasuke's fingers played with the shell of his ear, tucking Naruto's blond hair behind his ear so that it was out of the way. Sasuke was glancing at Naruto with a light smile on his face as he did this, his eyes lidded. Naruto couldn't help but think to himself that Sasuke looked absolutely smitten. He wondered if he was the first person to ever see this expression on Sasuke's face. Knowing Sasuke, there was a damned good chance.

Naruto smiled back warmly, almost laughing, his teeth barely peeking through. Sasuke's bangs on the left side of his face, which were pressed to the bed, extended onto the blanket with a slight wave. The right side of his face was partially obscured by his bangs, gravity slanting them downward precariously. A little playfully, Naruto followed Sasuke's lead, placing the right side of Sasuke's hair behind his ear. It showed his hairline so clearly, one half of the widow's peak, which so few people got to see, clearly visible now.

"What's so funny?" Sasuke asked, his voice sounding more like a self-conscious pout than a challenge.

Naruto wanted to say that he just liked seeing this side of Sasuke. It was the side of Sasuke that wasn't too worried about looking untouchable to visibly show love and compassion. It was Sasuke at his most vulnerable, and Naruto felt like at such a time, they communicated without words. But Naruto wouldn't say this, naturally.

"Nothing. Just pleasantly surprised that I get to spend the day with you."

"Yeah…" Sasuke answered, draping his hand over Naruto's shoulder and trailing his pointer finger down Naruto's spine. Naruto shuddered. Didn't Sasuke remember how sensitive he was there?

Sasuke's mind flashed back to the moment when he found Naruto's note underneath his cell phone. Even though it had technically been that same day, it seemed like it had been ages ago. He remembered all the dread he'd experienced upon reading that note, looking for Naruto, thinking that he might just be too late, fearing that he might never get to say goodbye.

"Me too," Sasuke mumbled, leaning forward and kissing Naruto again, their tongues sliding against each other affectionately. Sasuke scooched forward, placing his palm on Naruto's chest so that he could feel his heart through his ribcage. He kissed down Naruto's jawline, quick little pecks, Sasuke's breath misting the underside of Naruto's chin. Against his palm, Sasuke could feel the air traveling through Naruto's windpipe as he gasped.

Naruto's body was warmer than his. Save for the times when Naruto was at his thinnest, his body always managed to generate more heat than Sasuke's. Despite the fact that it was well into the day, the bedroom was chilly. Sasuke appreciated Naruto's warmth on his bed. He treasured the way the mattress slumped to accommodate his lover's weight. What would he had been doing now if he hadn't woken up in time? What if Naruto had decided not to come home with him? Sasuke quickly rerouted his thoughts. This was an eventuality he no longer needed to consider.

Sasuke kissed down the side of Naruto's neck, and he felt Naruto's heartbeat quicken. Naruto, knowing that Sasuke could feel each skipped beat of his heart and every missed breath, was tempted to push his hand away. But if it was Sasuke, perhaps this was okay. Naruto brushed the back of his hand against Sasuke abs, which flinched just slightly at the sudden contact. Naruto now placed his palm on Sasuke's stomach, sliding it up to Sasuke's chest as Sasuke kissed down his neck.

Naruto pet Sasuke's back as Sasuke's kisses went lower, now along Naruto's collarbone, which was still just a little bit unhealthily prominent. Sasuke's neck was bent forward. He grasped both of Sasuke's upper arms, caressing his hands up and down them slowly. Sasuke sucked on Naruto's earlobe, tugging on it with his teeth.

Naruto's breath ceased momentarily, and Sasuke's fingers ghosted up and down his spine. Sasuke's tongue slid up the shell of Naruto's ear, causing his lover to shudder. The mood was changing so quickly. Naruto felt some heat flush to his nether regions, redirecting Sasuke's face so that he could kiss him again.

This time, the kiss was much more heated, Naruto moaning as his tongue lashed against Sasuke's. Naruto jerked Sasuke closer, their chests now flush against each other. With each inhale, the other male's chest was pushed in just slightly, panting against each other. The slight layer of sweat caused their skin to stick together just barely.

Naruto wrapped his arm against Sasuke, pushing their bodies even more closely together so that they almost seemed to writhe in unison, legs intertwining, stomachs and groins pressed together. Their teeth bumped momentarily as their kisses grew hungrier, and Sasuke pushed Naruto onto his back. He straddled him, wearing nothing but his thin pajama pants.

"S-Sasu…" Naruto breathed out longingly.

Naruto barely stopped himself from moaning at the sight of Sasuke, shirtless and on top of him, his onyx eyes staring down at him with desire. Sasuke’s body was scarred from the violence he’d found himself over the past year, and while it was not to Naruto’s extent, the commonality made Naruto feel closer to him. Sasuke rested on his shins, but his body was straight. Naruto reached forward needily, forcing Sasuke downward by his shoulders so that he could kiss Sasuke again.

Naruto's calloused hand locked onto the hair at the crown of Sasuke's hair, the other feeling up and down Sasuke's spine. The rough texture caused Sasuke to shudder. Breaking the kiss, Naruto inclined his body upward with one hand rested on the bed. He kissed Sasuke's neck, nibbling the skin by his jawbone. Sasuke's hand blindly groped Naruto's chest, giving Naruto's nipple a quick pinch and an apologetic rub. Naruto flinched, moaning quietly but shamelessly.

Sasuke pushed Naruto back down on the bed, kissing down his chest, circling his tongue around Naruto's areola and flicking it directly over Naruto's nipple. The cool air contrasted with Sasuke's warm tongue, causing the sensitive tissue to stand up on end. This was actually mirroring what was happening a little farther down on Naruto's body. As Sasuke kissed Naruto's chest, his ass moved backward slightly, brushing Naruto's forming erection.

This was supposed to be loving and sweet, and Naruto was trying to keep his cool. But dammit, he was only human, and the sight of the shirtless Sasuke's lips on his chest was enough to arouse even the chastest human being, Naruto mentally insisted. He blushed as Sasuke's ass brushed against his clothed cock, knowing now that he'd been discovered. Sasuke seemed to pause for a moment, not exactly shocked by the revelation as he elicited a cocky smirk that just about made Naruto want to smack him.

Their motions became more heated, Sasuke's hands moving up and down Naruto's chest and abs. All Naruto could think to do with grasp Sasuke's hair and claw at his back with his other hand. Sasuke was kissing down Naruto's sternum, then his abs…

Naruto's cock flinched, and as Sasuke moved down on Naruto's body, he felt Sasuke's erection rub against his lower stomach. Sasuke moved so that he was sitting on Naruto's upper thighs, tugging down Naruto's pajama pants off of his body as his cock bounced free. Sasuke followed suit, his ruddy erection almost as pronounced as Naruto's. The top few inches of their cocks, from their tips downwards, pressed against each other – the intimate feeling of their most sensitive flesh brushing against each other.

Naruto moaned. They'd had to be silent for nearly two weeks now, and Naruto would take advantage of today's opportunity. He hoped Sasuke would as well, because of all the noises that could leave Sasuke's mouth, these were some of his favorite.

Sasuke leaned over and opened the drawer of his bedstand, his hand blindly drifting over Naruto's note before pulling out a bottle of strawberry-flavored lube. Strawberry was a little sweet for his tastes, but their local pharmacy hadn't exactly been brimming with options.

Sasuke squeezed some into his hand, allowing the lube, slightly chilled from the winter air, to warm. The room smelled like strawberry for a moment. Holding their cocks together, he allowed the lube to drip down each one before taking both members in his hand and giving them a slow pump. Naruto moved his heel up on the sheets, a blanket sticking with him as he moved.

"Shit, Sasuke…" Naruto breathed out, gazing up at Sasuke amorously.

Their eyes caught. Both of their faces were flushed now as they panted. It seemed that this was one of the most intimate ways one man could touch another man. He loved feeling such a private area of Sasuke's pressed against his own; it felt taboo and so extremely close. Hurriedly reaching forward, Naruto gripped Sasuke's free hand tightly in his own.

For some reason, this small gesture felt as if this were nearly as intimate of an action as the one performed by Sasuke's busier hand. Something in Naruto's touch felt frightened. It felt as if it were desperately seeking reassurance from Sasuke, so Sasuke squeezed back. Their eyes never lost each other's.

Sasuke's hand began to pick up pace. They had been moving so slowly before, but now they were both aroused, and restraint was becoming physically painful. Naruto propped himself up, nipping Sasuke's jawbone and sucking on the flesh underneath it. He left an angry dark purple mark behind – a reminder. Even if he had to leave tomorrow, that mark would stay with Sasuke, staining his ivory skin.

"Nngh," Sasuke breathed out, reluctantly glad that Naruto had chosen to mark him.

Sasuke channeled his aggression into his movements, pumping them both faster as they kissed each other. They moaned into the kiss without restraint, knowing that no one would hear them now.

Sasuke's mouth parted with Naruto's, causing Naruto to let out a low sulky groan. He moved lower, kissing down Naruto's chest as he curled his back. He released his hold on their cocks, quickly taking Naruto's into his mouth as he pumped his own member furiously.

The strawberry lube mixed with a dribble of precum escaping Naruto's cock in Sasuke's mouth. Naruto grabbed at the sheets and twisted his fists, his moans building in volume. He inched his feet up on the sheets, knees bent. Naruto's hips began to buck, the sudden change of texture setting him off. As Naruto had already been heated up, Sasuke wasted no time in deep throating Naruto.

"Aah!" Naruto cried out, his hips bucking.

Sasuke was in no situation to respond, so he simply moaned against Naruto's cock. Unable to stave himself off, Naruto rotated his hips in shallow movements, fucking Sasuke's mouth. Sasuke moved in reverse motion, hungrily taking Naruto in and breathing in deeply through his nose. Luckily, Sasuke didn't have much of a gag reflex, though he did have a newfound appreciation for what certain females had done for him in the past.

Naruto propped himself up against the wall, looking down and watching Sasuke's ministrations. He watched how his lips would slide over his cock, Sasuke's eyes lidded with exertion. When Naruto was most deeply enveloped in Sasuke's mouth, the Uchiha's nose just barely brushed against Naruto's blond curls. Perhaps sensing Naruto's focused gaze, Sasuke's eyes flicked up at Naruto, the expression on his face some mixture of love and challenge.

God, that look.

"Shit, Sasuke, I'm gonna…" Naruto panted, swallowing to soothe his dry throat. "I'm gonna cum. I can't…"

In response, Sasuke merely sucked on Naruto harder, seemingly drawing out the orgasm to come. Now, suddenly, Naruto heard so acutely the sucking noises from Sasuke's mouth on his cock and the frenzied shlick of Sasuke's hand on his own member. Sasuke's fingertips gently tapped Naruto's sack, almost as if he were playing some instrument.

"Oh God, _S-Sasuke_ …"

Sasuke's name rolled off of Naruto's tongue, each syllable spoken as if it were its own word.

"I'm…"

But Naruto couldn't finish his sentence, his head lashing back as he unleashed into Sasuke's mouth with a raw moan. To keep from bucking into Sasuke's mouth, his entire body tensed, eyes squinted shut and his mouth open wide.

Sasuke looked up at Naruto, wanting to see the look on his face as he unleashed. At Sasuke's angle, he could just barely see back into Naruto's throat, his face a brilliant shade of red. The muscles of Naruto's stomach clenched and released as Sasuke swallowed. He sucked Naruto dry.

Naruto's body slouched against the bed, relaxed as he began to catch his breath. He glanced down, and Sasuke's face was flushed, so obvious against his pale skin. The mark Naruto left on his neck was dark. Sasuke was sitting upright now, balanced on his shins and desperately pumping his cock to join his lover. Naruto silently watched, memorizing the way Sasuke looked at this moment.

"Wait…" Naruto breathed out, bliss in his tone.

Yet "wait" was one of the last words in the English language that Sasuke wanted to hear right now. Naruto placed his hand on Sasuke's forearm, motioning for him to still his movements. Sasuke was painfully erect, his balls hard. Very reluctantly, he stopped himself, his expression demanding an explanation.

"I want you to cum inside me," Naruto purred, staring into Sasuke's eyes.

Despite their situation, Sasuke's expression almost made Naruto want to laugh. It was a mixture between lascivious longing, impatience, and disbelief, as if Sasuke didn't know how to react. His jaw opened, ready to give a response, but it soon closed without event. No matter how great the reward, Sasuke didn't know whether he had the willpower to wait until he'd fully prepped and penetrated Naruto to orgasm. Wait, of course he did. He was a goddamned Uchiha.

Kneeling between Naruto's legs, Sasuke's erection raised proudly, Sasuke squeezed some lube on his pointer finger, sliding it into Naruto's pucker and feeling around. Naruto gasped in quietly, his body tensing. It was almost torturous, having to wait until his lover's body relaxed, Sasuke's cock hard and painfully swollen. But Sasuke was taking care of Naruto now. He would be patient. He pet Naruto's arms and stomach, allowing Naruto to relax.

Fortunately, too many endorphins were coursing through Naruto's body from his orgasm for him to be nervous or tense, his trusting body adapting quickly to the intrusion. It about killed Sasuke to feel Naruto's tightness, imagining what it would soon feel like against his yearning erection.

Sasuke joined his pointer finger with his middle, lube working its way into Naruto's ass as Sasuke stretched Naruto out, scissoring his fingers apart. Naruto moaned, greedily pushing himself into Sasuke's fingers by sliding himself down on the bed. Naruto had rebounded quickly. Sasuke smirked, a bead of precum slowly moving down the head of Sasuke's cock, down to the shaft.

He thrust these fingers in and out of Naruto, Naruto moving in reverse motions to take in as much as he could. Sasuke's balls ached, begging for release, his fingers going deeper into Naruto's ass. How badly did he want to go inside? He imagined the sensations of Naruto's inner walls, now snugly housing his fingers, against his sensitive organ. Naruto's face, chest, and shoulders were flushed bright red, and Naruto's cock was hardening again.

"Sasuke…" Naruto mumbled. It was endearing how slowly Sasuke was taking this, so concerned with making the experience enjoyable. But looking down, Naruto noticed how rock hard his lover was. This restraint was sure to be excruciating. "You don't have to be so gentle."

Sasuke grunted and blushed slightly, though this wasn't very obvious, given that his body had already been so flushed. He wasn't being _gentle_. He was just being thorough. Realizing that he'd ruffled Sasuke's ego, Naruto couldn't help but smirk.

"I'm ready for you," Naruto spoke, his voice almost lost to his panting. "All of you. Sasuke, I _need_ it…"

Naruto put his legs far apart, knees bent with the bottoms of his feet against the sheet. Sasuke didn't need much convincing. He slid his cock over Naruto's lubed crack, teasing both of them as he glided right over Naruto's pucker. He moved up, all the way so that Sasuke's cock reached the back of Naruto's balls, then down the crack and over Naruto's entrance down once again.

Finally, he guided himself directly over Naruto's entrance, the head of his cock pressed against the hole. He began to push forward, just enough to cause the skin to indent but not quite enough to penetrate. Sasuke didn't know whether this was more torturous for him or Naruto, but he was taking pleasure in cherishing the moment, memorizing the intense longing he felt.

"Sasuke…."

Naruto brought himself down, trying to force Sasuke's cock into his ass. Naruto was quickly growing harder, his own cock bobbing during Sasuke's efforts. But Sasuke kept his cool.

"Please, Sasuke…" Naruto begged, his voice loving and strangely small. "Show me how much you love me."

As charged as Sasuke's hormones were at the moment, this caused Sasuke to pause for just a fraction of a second, glancing down at Naruto. He appeared so perfectly vulnerable at that moment, and the thought occurred to Sasuke that he had such power over Naruto. Naruto had given Sasuke the power to destroy him, but of course, Sasuke wouldn't. He only wanted to protect Naruto, to love him. He knew that Naruto had this same power over him, but in this moment, he couldn't regret that.

He moved forward, and the sensation of Naruto's ass taking in the head of Sasuke's cock was immensely fulfilling after all of his waiting. Sasuke pushed forward, half way inside of Naruto now, thrusting back and forth shallowly. Naruto gasped sharply. Sasuke didn't know what to say to Naruto, so he just looked at him, aware that his face spoke for him. Naruto smiled, his head moving up and down against the pillow as Sasuke's movements became more dramatic.

Sasuke's body was on top of Naruto's, so Sasuke kissed Naruto's shoulder, his neck, his Adam's apple… It was becoming difficult to hold onto his orgasm, but Sasuke swallowed hard. Naruto's cock was almost fully hard now, and Sasuke thrust in and out of him, plowing his full length inside.

They both swore, writhed, and moaned, all the louder because they had been forced to be silent for such time. The sound of their skin clapping against each other punctuated their voices. Naruto lifted his legs off of the bed and wrapped them around Sasuke's waist, crossing his ankles around the small of Sasuke's back and forcing him even deeper inside.

Sasuke placed all strength into his hips, pounding into Naruto as the headboard of the bed rattled against the wall. Sasuke's hands gripped Naruto's thighs roughly, helping Naruto move along with him. Naruto's jaw fell down, quivering, his brows knit together as a tear began to escape his eye, which was clamped shut.

"Sa…su…"

Naruto could barely speak, his cock pressed against Sasuke's abs as Sasuke penetrated. Sasuke descended upon Naruto feverishly, both of them moaning as they kissed each other, lips, teeth, and tongues clashing.

As Sasuke was brushing Naruto's prostate, his cock began to leak. Sasuke could feel his control slipping. Sasuke kissed Naruto's jawline, up and down Naruto's neck… Perhaps impetuously, he bit the skin on Naruto's neck and sucked, leaving a twin mark behind on Naruto, angry and purple. Naruto wasn't the only one who wanted to be remembered.

Sasuke's hips collided with Naruto's ass with each thrust, and Naruto's legs tightened against Sasuke. Their bodies were flush together, Naruto trying to take Sasuke as deep as he could. And Sasuke, slowly, kissed a scar on Naruto's cheek, distinctly feeling the skin's texture against his sore bottom lip. He moved his mouth over to Naruto's earlobe. Naruto had been expecting Sasuke to lick up the curve of his ear as he had earlier, or perhaps tug on his lobe with his teeth.

But instead, his mouth so close to Naruto's ear that Naruto could feel Sasuke's lips move as he spoke, Sasuke whispered, "Naruto… I love you."

Sasuke's voice wasn't as smooth as it generally was, the man winded and raw. This was not a voice of aloof security. It was unsheltered, vulnerable, trusting, and close, so intimately close. Naruto knew now, more than ever, that he'd somehow found his way to Sasuke's core. Breath hitched in Naruto's mouth, a couple tears trickling down his face as Sasuke continued, not slacking his pace for a moment. Naruto reached out his hand for Sasuke's. Sasuke took it without thinking, squeezing it tightly against the bed.

"I love you too, Sasuke…" Naruto spoke, not bothering to whisper as Sasuke had. “More than anything.”

Naruto was relieved to hear Sasuke tell him that he loved him under more pleasant circumstances. He had even feared that Sasuke would never say it again. They kissed each other, their mouths moving leisurely now despite Sasuke's hurried and deep thrusts. Contrasting so acutely with those motions, their tongues pressed together, not even moving for a couple seconds before their tongues curled against each other shyly over the sound of their bodies colliding. But Sasuke couldn't continue for much longer. His entire lower half seemed flushed and swollen, begging for release. He'd staved off for far too long.

"I can't…" Sasuke panted out, losing his train of thought quickly. The pleasure he felt as he pumped in and out of Naruto, the friction rubbing against his flesh blissfully, was completely overwhelming. "I'm gonna…"

Naruto latched his hand into Sasuke's hair, kissing him once again before ordering him, "Cum inside me, Sasu."

Their lips parted, and Sasuke glanced down at Naruto, watching Naruto try so hard to keep it together. Naruto's hand grasped Sasuke's tightly. His cock was completely hard, bouncing with each one of Sasuke's thrusts.

"Love me."

Sasuke shoved himself deeply into Naruto, and his body froze, tension taking him by storm. His hips, legs, back, and even his arms shook, fighting to keep his body from collapsing onto Naruto. So painfully delayed, he felt his seed finally spurt deep out into Naruto, his hips involuntarily giving a few shallow bucks. Sasuke thought he would stay quiet for this, but a moan, obviously his but born entirely without his permission, loudly filled the room.

Naruto watched Sasuke closely, his face a light pink, hair slightly disheveled. As Sasuke moaned, he tilted his head back, his Adam's apple showing prominently. He quickly curled his head downwards, allowing it to hang over Naruto. Naruto looked up to find Sasuke's eyes clamped shut, mouth agape with the slight upward curl of his lip's corners. He was the one who had made Sasuke feel this way. He was the one who Sasuke loved.

For all the waiting, the release had been even more pleasurable. Sasuke was unable to process anything of the world around him, strong pleasure hijacking his senses. It fired from his cock, throughout his pelvic area, his lower body, and his torso, like a lightning bolt. Now it was Sasuke's hand that squeezed Naruto's as Sasuke willed his body to relax and just _feel_ this overwhelming ecstasy. As Sasuke spurted again, he let out another moan, this one quieter.

He'd gone dry, his breath shuddering as he finally came to his senses. He pulled out of Naruto slowly, his wet cock slipping out easily. Sasuke fell off to the side, for a few seconds too distracted by his own body to pay much attention to Naruto. Sasuke looked peaceful, almost as if he might drift off while lying on his side, his ruffled hair, now just barely wavy, splayed on the blanket. He was only now coming to his senses. He heard the sound of Naruto's hand, moving hurriedly, and Naruto's panting.

He glanced over to find Naruto desperately pumping his cock, fingering his now empty ass. His digits were lubricated by what Sasuke had left behind. Naruto's chest lurched upward, precum dribbling down Naruto's knuckles as he pumped himself. Naruto didn't bother to hold back; he wanted it too badly for that. If the view hasn't been so distracting, Sasuke might have felt a little guilty over not taking care of Naruto's need. Yet in his euphoric post-orgasmic state, all Sasuke could do was contently watch Naruto, analyzing and memorizing every detail.

Naruto's hand stopped for a moment, neck arching up on the bed as he moaned. His body tensed as he unleashed, cum coating his thighs, hand, and stomach. His body collapsed on the bed as he placed his hands back on the sheets, staring upwards listlessly as he caught his breath. Sasuke tilted Naruto's face towards him, kissing him lethargically. After their lips parted, their faces were only inches from each other's.

"I do love you, Sasuke," Naruto told Sasuke through lidded eyes. "Uchiha Sasuke," he added playfully.

Naruto was covered, and the sheets were a mess. Neither of them cared particularly. They were honestly feeling too good to think about much of anything practical, yielding to the comfort of Sasuke's mattress.

"You're not so bad yourself, Uzumaki Naruto."

Naruto glanced back at Sasuke with wry amusement. This really _was_ difficult for Sasuke, wasn't it? Sasuke took a breath in. It was easier to say these words in the heat of the moment, but during such a time, he wouldn't pass up on a chance to make Naruto happy.

"Yeah, yeah," Sasuke grumbled. "I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone, sorry for missing an update! I've been having a lot of chronic health problems over the past couple weeks and have just been trying to keep my head above water.
> 
> Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed the sweet sweet mushiness. Two dorks in love.


	59. Chapter 59

This was the day. There was no avoiding it, the currents of time carrying both of them onward, willingly or unwillingly. Sasuke groaned when he woke up, holding his hand to cover his eyes and rub at the bridge of his nose. It was about nine. They'd both had plenty of sleep, so Sasuke assumed that Naruto wouldn't mind being roused. Sasuke found that Naruto's arms were already wrapped around his abdomen.

"Hey…" Sasuke muttered, jerking Naruto by his arm.

"Mmnn…" Naruto answered crankily, burying his head deeper into Sasuke's trunk.

Not to be dissuaded, Sasuke began to tug at Naruto's arm a little more roughly.

"Wake up."

"Five more minutes, S'suke…" came the programmed response.

Sasuke sighed, staying in his former position. Normally, he would have pried Naruto's fingers apart and forced his way out of bed, but he decided to lie here a bit longer. Naruto's hair hung over his eye, his mouth partially open as he snored quietly. His bruises had improved somewhat from the night before. Naruto had already fallen back to sleep.

He stroked Naruto's hair, petting him softly so as not to wake him. He stared at him now unabashedly, knowing that no one else was observing this moment. When would Naruto be in his bed next? The fact that in several hours they would part seemed unreal. He could hardly believe they'd only met in late August. It felt like ages had passed, when in reality, it had been barely more than four months.

He'd already had his internal crisis about what it meant to fall in love with someone so quickly and what that said about him. After everything that had happened, Sasuke supposed there was no getting around becoming attached; he didn't even want to. He'd expected this to be painful, and he was right. However, he could never regret this.

He didn't know whether this moment was a happy one or a sad one. He wasn't even sure what he felt, but he did know that his chest felt hollow, and his throat was tight. He knew that there would be no more moments like this for quite some time. Sasuke allowed five minutes to become ten, and then ten became fifteen. Naruto was still asleep, and Sasuke held him as if he might be torn away at any moment.

"Naruto…" Sasuke repeated, nudging Naruto.

"Eh?" Naruto groaned.

"Wake up."

"Five more minutes…" Naruto mumbled again.

"It's been fifteen," he responded, sounding irritated.

"Five more minutes…"

Sasuke now did pull himself out of bed, shaking Naruto roughly. Naruto whined as he was forced to open his eyes.

"The hell?" Naruto groused, still not completely conscious. "What's the hurry?"

"It's almost ten. We're not sleeping the day away."

Naruto squinted his eyes at Sasuke resentfully, pausing as he finally remembered exactly what today was.

"Right…" he answered, disheartened.

"Breakfast," Sasuke informed Naruto, leaving for the restroom before Naruto could even answer. “Get up.”

He flicked on the bathroom lights and looked in the mirror with a cringe before washing his face. His forehead and cheekbone were covered in angry bruises. Sasuke waited for the water to warm, splashing it on his face as he told himself that there was no way he could hide their altercation from Itachi.

Naruto joined Sasuke in the restroom to brush his teeth. They were done quickly. From the threshold of the opened bathroom door, the two of them could faintly hear Itachi's movements from beneath them. It sounded like a newspaper page had been turned. Before Itachi's illness, he had been an early riser. It looked like that predilection was returning to him.

The two boys descended the stairs, making their way into the kitchen for breakfast. They entered the room to find Itachi reading a newspaper over an omelet he had concocted for himself. Itachi glanced up with a soft smile on his face, but the corners of his lips quickly dropped.

"Good morning," he told them, sounding just as casual ever.

If his brother wasn't bringing this up, Sasuke sure as hell wouldn't be the one to do it.

"Morning," Sasuke answered, getting some cereal out of the cupboard. He wasn't in the mood to cook anything substantial.

"Yeah, good morning," Naruto pitched in, sounding a little nervous. Itachi wasn't saying anything about their faces?

Both of the boys were aware that Itachi had noticed the damage they had taken in during the fight. How could he not? Sasuke knew that Itachi was bound to ask him what had happened eventually.

Naruto poured himself some orange juice and a bowl of generic Captain Crunch, while Sasuke went for the Wheaties. The top of the box was dented in rather dramatically, which was the reason they'd been able to afford the name brand version in the first place. Sasuke sat between Itachi and Naruto at the small table, eating quietly.

"So, does noon sound good?"

"Noon's fine for me," Naruto answered.

Sasuke nodded as well. They got through one bowl of cereal. Naruto went back for seconds.

"So…" Itachi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he looked up from his paper, from Naruto to Sasuke. "What happened to your faces?"

Naruto gave one of his typical nervous laughs, but Sasuke spoke up quickly. He'd been expecting this question.

"Some shit happened, and I lost my temper," Sasuke told him. "But everything's fine now."

While Itachi wasn't looking, Naruto shot Sasuke a quick glance, his face dominated by both shock and gratitude. Sasuke didn't want Itachi getting the wrong idea about Naruto, especially given that Naruto was reliant upon Itachi's help now. So he'd accept responsibility. He wouldn't let Itachi know _why_ Sasuke had punched him.

Itachi shook his head, but Sasuke wasn't sure if Itachi was buying his excuse or not. Itachi did know that Sasuke had demonstrated a tendency to lose his temper and get into fights since the fire. It wasn't implausible, yet Sasuke hadn't done this for months now.

"Sasuke, seriously? What were you thinking?" Itachi snapped at Sasuke, frowning. “I hope you apologized to him.”

This would explain why Sasuke had come into his bedroom at the crack of dawn last morning, Itachi realized. They'd had some sort of fight and wanted time to iron matters out. Itachi gave Naruto a sympathetic glance. Naruto understood what Sasuke was doing, but he couldn't handle watching his Sasuke get scolded by his brother over Naruto's transgression.

"It's my fault," Naruto volunteered. "I provoked him until he punched me, and then I overreacted."

The older of the lot groaned, seeming rather fed up with this nonsense. Whatever the case, his brother and his lover had clearly reached a breaking point. Itachi supposed it was at least somewhat understandable.

"Yeah, well _whoever's_ fault it was, we need to get that swelling down. Grab a couple ice packs, Sasuke."

Fortunately, they'd remembered to place the melted ice packs back in the fridge after they'd used them late last morning. They'd refrozen completely. Sasuke grabbed two dish towels, giving Naruto a pack and a towel.

"Ice it for a few minutes. We can't have you two looking like that when we drop Naruto off."

Naruto nodded. They all realized how strange it would look if Sasuke and Naruto both entered the station beat up. However, after a full day's rest and about fifteen minutes of ice, both boys looked substantially better than they had the morning previous. Most of the swelling had gone down.

"You both remember the procedure, right?" Itachi asked.

"I go in with Naruto, right? We say I met him at the soup kitchen and ask to be updated on the case."

Naruto's body posture was beginning to look increasingly rigid, however. Itachi glanced over at Naruto but said nothing. One hand held the icepack to his face, while the other rested in his lap.

"Right. And nothing about him staying with us."

Naruto began to fidget in his seat.

"Well, of course not," Sasuke answered, finding it rather obvious.

Naruto balled the fabric of his pajama pants in his hand hard as he swallowed dry.

"I'm going to the bedroom," Naruto said, sounding winded.

His chair screeching slightly as he stood up, Naruto gracelessly left the kitchen. Itachi gave Sasuke a quick, concerned look. Sasuke frowned and looked away.

"Me too," Sasuke added, following Naruto.

Naruto's footsteps pattered quickly up the stairs. He entered Sasuke's bedroom and didn't bother to close the door, collapsing onto Sasuke's bed. His breathing was coming to him quickly now, too quickly. His throat was beginning to rasp, and he felt dizzy. His hands were going numb. His chest was tight.

When Itachi spoke, Naruto imagined the police station. He imagined the things they would say, as if he were there at that very moment. And he very vividly imagined the way he would feel the moment Sasuke had to leave behind, turning and walking out of the station. He hadn't wanted to look like this in front of Itachi, so he ran.

Sasuke ran to Naruto now, closing the bedroom door behind him and sitting down with Naruto on the bed. Naruto could hardly speak for all of his hyperventilating. Naruto clawed at his forearms, leaving parallel red lines behind. Naruto just now noticed that his cheeks were wet, but it was more a fleeting observation. He was in a world of thoughts, not matter.

"Stop, Naruto," Sasuke told him, firmly but gently. "You'll bleed."

Naruto stilled his arms. Sasuke had only seen Naruto have a panic attack one other time. He recalled that Naruto had not wanted to be touched, but that made a great deal of sense, considering what sorts of memories were racing through Naruto's head.

Yet Naruto was a very tactile person, and the cause of this panic attack was different. Sasuke theorized that it centered around abandonment and loneliness. Would he want his touch? Sasuke supposed there was only one way to know for sure.

"Would you like me to hold you?" Sasuke asked.

Sasuke knew all too well how badly an unwelcomed touch could feel in the midst of a panic attack, how much more deeply the overwhelming sensation might plunge the sufferer into hysteria.

Naruto nodded quickly, and Sasuke reached forward, cradling him tightly into his body. Naruto was facing away. He burrowed up, making himself as small as possible, hoping to disappear into his slightly larger lover.

"You're safe."

He wanted to say that Naruto was safe _now_ , but he knew that from that, Naruto would jump to the conclusion that he would no longer be such in a very short period of time. He wanted to tell Naruto that there was no threat to him, but that would have also been a lie.

"It's gonna be okay," Sasuke told him, and he wasn't lying.

Naruto grabbed Sasuke's hand so tightly that his knuckles were smashed together, but he allowed Naruto to hold his hand nonetheless. As Naruto panicked, his eyes darted around the room aimlessly.

"Naruto, do you feel me breathing?"

Naruto nodded. Yes, he felt Sasuke's chest rise and sink against his back.

"Try to match me. Count to five, slowly, in."

Naruto grasped Sasuke's hand even harder as he forced his chest to move in harmony with Sasuke's.

"One. Two. Three," Sasuke counted, his voice low and calm, completely unperturbed. It soothed Naruto. "Four. Five."

Naruto wondered how Sasuke could be so good at this. But his entire body was still tense, even if the numbness was subsiding. His body parts were getting oxygenated now, but his mind was running rampant. The color around him seemed to blur, and he felt like he was sinking away, losing his surroundings. He inhaled and exhaled with Sasuke, trying to focus on Sasuke's steady and low voice. Still, his heart was firing off, his chest aching painfully.

"Naru, look at the wall. How many posters are on it?"

What the hell was Sasuke talking about? Naruto managed to gain just enough control of himself to cast Sasuke a questioning look.

"Just count them. Trust me."

Who the fuck cared about posters on a wall? Why was Sasuke asking him to do something so pointless when all of this shit was happening, when his world was spinning? His tears were falling back to back, and Sasuke wanted him to count _posters_? But Sasuke had asked him for trust, and Naruto supposed that Sasuke had at the very least earned that.

There was a Mother Mother poster. A Led Zeppelin by the window. That was two. There was a small Boondock Saints printout. It looked like it could have been from a DVD. He counted several more, eventually coming out with about seven posters, of varying sizes.

"Seven."

It was only now that Naruto realized that this was the first word he'd been able to speak. So, Sasuke had been trying to distract Naruto, to ground him in his surroundings. Naruto had never seen Sasuke have a panic attack, but he certainly believed Sasuke's claim. He'd never had any reason to doubt Sasuke to begin with, but the way he handled this situation made the fact even more obvious. Sasuke wasn't generally what he'd consider the empathetic sort; it was much likelier that he'd learned through experience.

Sasuke's distraction didn't last for long, however. No, in just an hour, he had to leave. Sasuke and Itachi were going to leave him at the police station. He was going back to foster care. One _hour_. There was no escaping it.

"What color is my shirt?"

Naruto clamped his eyes shut, trying to concentrate on Sasuke's question. He was surprised that he couldn't remember this, glancing back to see that Sasuke's snug sleep shirt was a dark maroon.

"Red."

Sasuke gently stroked Naruto's hair.

"Mötley Crüe or AC/DC?"

"What?" Naruto asked in temporary disbelief and confusion. What was Sasuke talking about? Oh, he wanted him to choose. "Mötley."

Sasuke tsk'd.

"AC/DC. You can't tell me their Back in Black album wasn't gold."

A tear fell down Naruto's face as he laughed at the situation. He wondered if anyone else but Sasuke could've gotten him on so casual of a subject at such a time.

"Sasuke… Nikki Six. Tommy Lee," Naruto sounded a little winded still, but he was recovering, his tone slightly challenging. "Come on."

"Good," Sasuke sighed, "But overrated."

Naruto took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, composing himself as he continued to speak.

"You call Nikki Six and Tommy Lee overrated…" Naruto took a deep breath. It felt like his body was just a little short on oxygen, feeling dizzy and lightheaded. "Yet you're talking about Back in Black?"

"That album was iconic for a reason," Sasuke mumbled in a low voice, with just a hint of teasing.

"Sorry, I just forget how much you know about classic rock," Naruto responded, his voice becoming stronger. "I forget that you know all the lyrics to Wannabe."

"What?" Sasuke asked, distancing from Naruto a slight bit. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't worry about it, Sasuke. If I had a Spice Girls phase, I'd block it out too."

Antagonizing Sasuke was quite the welcome diversion. His reactions were always priceless.

"What? Who told you that?" Sasuke demanded. Naruto was grinning now. Sasuke quickly cursed his choice of wording, as it was virtually an admission of guilt. Besides, who else was there other than Itachi to spread this sort of gossip? Damned traitor…

"So you admit it?" Naruto asked as his grin crept farther across his face.

"Hell no."

"No, you just admitted it."

"I did not."

"Which was your favorite Spice Girl?" Naruto asked, baiting Sasuke.

"I don't know anything about the Spice Girls."

Naruto glanced back at Sasuke, his eyes still puffy from crying. He stuck out his lips in a pout, giving his best puppy eyes.

"You look like a duck when you do that," Sasuke told him dryly.

"C'mon," Naruto pressed. "Give me a reason to burst into random and inappropriate laughter tonight and get strange looks."

Sasuke sighed. Naruto's body had relaxed somewhat, and he'd stopped crying. Whatever he'd sought to do had worked. And though he would have never given Naruto's request any consideration under normal circumstances, he supposed that Naruto needed to get a break at some point. After all of this bullshit… He just wanted to see Naruto happy.

"I liked Posh Spice."

Naruto burst into laughter. God, he could see the Spice Girls posters in his mind's eye so clearly. Sasuke smiled as well, despite the embarrassment.

"Posh…" Naruto choked out, his voice lost to laughter this time rather than panic. "Posh Spice. I should've known!"

"I was a little kid," Sasuke added defensively. "I didn't know what good music even _was_."

"Yooo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want!" Naruto imitated, lost to laughter.

"Don't make me hurt you," Sasuke grumbled, ruffling Naruto's hair.

"Did you watch Spice World?"

There were a few seconds of silence before Sasuke made his decision.

"Maybe," Sasuke admitted.

Naruto began to chuckle again, and for once, it was actually worth all of the humiliation.

"But wait, didn't Posh end up marrying that soccer player?"

"Yeah. David Beckham."

Sasuke remembered this clearly. Itachi had waited until Sasuke had lost Itachi's Smash Brothers' game to brutally and spitefully break the news to him that Posh Spice hadn't been available since 1999.

"Sorry, buddy. I guess your ship's sailed out on that one," Naruto told Sasuke, patting his knee. "But at least you have me?"

"Naruto, her son is as old as I am. Like I said, I don't like the Spice Girls anymore. It was just a tiny phase I went through before I knew what _real_ music actually was."

"Yeah, you're not about that life anymore, are you?" Naruto teased, flipping over so that he could look Sasuke in the face.

"Oh my God, Naruto. It probably lasted a month. I was barely in grade school."

"It's okay, Sasuke," Naruto told him in mock reassurance. "I love you, no matter what you've done in your past."

Sasuke would not allow himself to blush. He knew that Naruto was joking, but the words still sounded oddly sincere after they left his lips.

"Like you didn't like any embarrassing bands, _ever_ , at any point in your life?"

"Nope," Naruto insisted.

"Bullshit."

"I only like cool music," he explained, rolling a little closer to Sasuke on the bed. "Even uncool music becomes cool when I like it."

They heard the sound of Itachi's shower starting, water making its way through the pipes in the wall. Sasuke glanced at the clock. It was almost eleven. It was time to start getting ready, but he didn't want to bring it up. Naruto, noting the motion of Sasuke's eyes, frowned. He glanced at the clock as well.

"Yeah, I know," Naruto mumbled dejectedly. "I guess it's time t-"

Sasuke kissed Naruto roughly, passionately. Naruto, at first stunned, responded with like passion, now pushed onto his back as their tongues lashed together.

"One last time," Sasuke panted, his forehead pressed against Naruto's as his eyes silently asked for permission. "Let me suck you off. We'll be done before Itachi's out of the shower."

Even through Sasuke's heated movements, he minded the split on Naruto's lip, taking care not to agitate it. He kissed down Naruto's neck, his hands feeling Naruto's abs, his chest…

"What if…" Naruto said with breathy uncertainty.

"Eight minutes," Sasuke responded confidently.

Naruto was already getting hard, aroused by the spontaneity of the situation. He didn't know if he even had the willpower to turn Sasuke down.

"Sasuke, you…a-asshole…" Naruto cursed him, a slight chuckle to his voice.

Sasuke merely smirked back at him. He hoped that this would relieve some of Naruto's tension, and what could he say? The situation had presented itself. There was no way Itachi could hear them over his shower.

He quickly slid down Naruto's pants, Naruto's cock bounding free. Wasting no time, Sasuke licked it from base to tip. He knew Itachi took quick showers, so there wasn't much time to waste. Sasuke took Naruto's quickly swelling head in his mouth, sucking on it gently. Naruto latched onto the hair on the back of Sasuke's head. When he'd first seen Sasuke, he had expected his hair to be unaccommodating. He was surprised when he first touched Sasuke’s locks, so soft and downy.

Sasuke was already beginning to taste Naruto, precum budding at the tip of Naruto's growing erection. Sasuke sucked on Naruto's tip a little harder, causing Naruto to gasp. It astounded Naruto how quickly Sasuke could change his thoughts. Just several minutes ago, he was having a panic attack. Then there was laughter, and now there was something even better than that. Thoughts about foster care and the police station were no longer on his mind. All he could think about was the feeling of Sasuke's mouth on his cock as Sasuke began to deep throat him so suddenly.

"Oh _God_ , Sasu…"

Naruto's cock hammered against the back of Sasuke's throat, but Sasuke didn't allow that to deter him, breathing out of his nose when he could. He kept pace, encouraged by Naruto's writhing and moaning. He was growing hard himself, but he'd ignore it. There wasn't time. Naruto was fully erect now, his balls going hard. Sasuke supported them in his hand, moving his fingers up and down gingerly.

"S'suke, I'm almost…"

Sasuke moaned against Naruto's cock, sucking as his head moved back and forth. His eyes had been cast down, but now he flicked his gaze upward to view Naruto's face, their stares locking. For what seemed like a while, Naruto held Sasuke's stare as Sasuke sucked him. All of his consciousness, every single thought in his mind was consumed by this exact instant in time. The ecstasy he was experiencing was all because of Sasuke.

Suddenly, he couldn't hold back anymore. Naruto clenched his teeth a loud moan ripped through him, unleashing into Sasuke's mouth. Sasuke continued to suck as Naruto had several diminishing spurts, his body charged with adrenaline and dopamine.

Sasuke waited until Naruto's body slumped, completely limp now. Sasuke scaled up Naruto's body and kissed him again. Naruto could taste his own seed in Sasuke's mouth, moving his palm up Sasuke's bicep. Sasuke had cleared his mind in every sense of the word. He knew what awaited him, but now he felt like he could actually handle it.

"Six minutes," Sasuke muttered snarkily, glancing at the clock.

"Get over yourself," Naruto grumbled, though he was smiling.

They lie there together wordlessly for only a minute or two when Itachi's water cut off. Sasuke stood up, straightening his clothes out.

"I'm going to brush my teeth," he announced before leaving for the bathroom.

It was well past eleven, so Naruto decided that it was time to get dressed. But what would he wear? Naruto knew. Something nostalgic. He searched Sasuke's closet for the outfit in question and, after a mere several seconds of rummaging, found it: the outfit Sasuke had bought him for his sixteenth birthday.

Naruto removed his T-shirt and slipped his arms into the rust orange button down. It was a little tight around his biceps. Buttoning it was also no simple task, but he managed somehow, sucking in and tugging the fabric roughly over his ribcage. A sliver of skin showed between a few of the buttons, which were under quite the strain.

And now, it was time for the pants. He dropped his pajama pants to the floor, stepping into his old blue jeans. They went on decently enough until he got to his ass. He began to jump up and down, hoping this would somehow help. He _had_ to wear it. It was the principle of it!

The door creaked slightly as Sasuke walked in, staring at Naruto abruptly.

"The hell are you doing?"

"I…thought it would be fitting to wear this?"

"Of all the things that outfit is doing for and to you, 'fitting' is certainly not one of them."

Naruto groaned, kicking off the miniature light blue jeans in discouragement. There really was no way he could fit into this. Even though it had even been a little bit baggy at the time, he'd just grown too much. Out of Naruto's sight, Sasuke smiled, giving Naruto a pair of light blue jeans and a dark red T-shirt with a crown on it, heavy white stitching on the hems. Naruto and Sasuke had very different body types, but Sasuke recalled that these were his pieces of clothing that fit Naruto best. Sasuke was really just glad that Naruto had gained so much weight.

Sasuke dressed himself in some dark blue jeans and a long-sleeved button down which was mostly black. He grabbed the backpack Naruto had worn to run away with last night, stuffing a couple of his shirts into it and another pair of pants. He gave Naruto his warmest jacket. He didn't want him being cold.

"What… You can't give me your clothes, Sasuke…"

Sasuke didn't even have too many outfits himself. Naruto assumed that he'd lost them in the fire.

"Quid pro quo."

After pushing his head through the shirt that Sasuke gave him, Naruto cocked his head at Sasuke curiously.

"I'm giving you these clothes," Sasuke clarified. "But you have to wear them."

Naruto smiled as Sasuke busied himself with preparing the backpack. Naruto did need clothes, but more specifically, he wanted _Sasuke's_ clothes. He wanted to be reminded of Sasuke when he wore them. He wanted Sasuke's scent to stay with him when he slept in an unfamiliar bed tonight. Naruto changed into the outfit Sasuke selected for him, and Sasuke threw Naruto's pajama pants in the backpack as well.

Sasuke liked the idea of Naruto wearing his clothes, even if he couldn't be around to see it. He didn't want to admit it, but a part of him still feared that he might be forgotten. He wouldn't be able to touch Naruto wherever he was going. Sometimes he might not even be able to speak to him. But at least he'd be there with him in this small way.

Sasuke was quickly dressed as well. They sat on Sasuke's bed now, holding hands and leaning against each other. There was a quick rap on the door.

"Come in," Sasuke said bluntly.

It was Itachi. The boys didn't move when he came in, still holding hands.

"How are you two?"

Sasuke shrugged, but Naruto managed a smile.

"We'll survive somehow," Naruto jested.

"May I borrow Sasuke for a moment, Naruto?" Itachi asked. "Sasuke, I'm going to see if I can't do something about your face."

"Sure," Naruto told him, standing up. Sasuke stood up and followed Itachi into his bedroom.

"You can come with if you like, Naruto," Itachi said casually. Of course, Naruto followed. He was assuming that Itachi realized just how badly he wanted to avoid being alone.

Itachi sat Sasuke down on his toilet, a concealer stick, some liquid foundation, and powder foundation all out on the sink. They were almost perfectly Sasuke's tone, but they certainly couldn't do anything for Naruto. His skin was far too dark.

"I thought it would raise questions if you two came in there looking injured," Itachi explained. "The swelling went down pretty well. I think I can have Sasuke looking pretty close to normal."

Naruto was momentarily surprised that Itachi had such an impressive collection of makeup at his disposal, glancing at the different vials, sticks, and compacts with disbelief.

"I didn't know you were into this kinda stuff, Itachi," Naruto remarked.

"Neither did I," Sasuke mused idly.

"You can't always be the one keeping secrets, Sasuke," Itachi teased him.

Itachi placed some of the concealer on his finger, dabbing it on Sasuke's cheek. He moved quickly and expertly, the redness quickly giving way to the standard color of Sasuke's face. Naruto was truly surprised that Itachi was so good at this.

"I never pegged you to be the sort," Sasuke said casually.

Itachi shrugged.

"Well, you don't want the whole world to know when you're not feeling well."

Sasuke felt his stomach sink momentarily, and his face very quickly shifted into a frown. This was all the more obvious to Itachi, who was currently no more than a few inches from Sasuke's face, rubbing concealer around Sasuke's cheekbone.

No wonder Itachi knew so much about using concealer. Sasuke could see the lines and dark bags so clearly on Itachi's face when he had become ill. Prior to Itachi’s admission, Sasuke had always assumed that it was just stress, that Itachi was working himself too hard. This must've been what Itachi did to avoid questions at school and work. No wonder he was covering up. Maybe Itachi even used it to hide his appearance from Sasuke.

Itachi sighed as he finished with the concealer stick, standing up again and placing it on his bathroom counter.

"No need to get so morose, brother. I'm on the mend."

Naruto approached from behind, grasping Itachi in a snug but gentle hug. He'd break this gloomy atmosphere.

"You _live_ , Itachi! Thank heavens, you liiiiive!"

Itachi slumped his body against Naruto, lying his head back and dramatically placing the back of his hand against his forehead.

"Oh, just barely," he sighed histrionically, causing Naruto to laugh. Why couldn't Sasuke be such a good sport?

"I definitely don't know either one of you right now," Sasuke grumbled.

"Oh, don't be such a little prick, Sasuke," Naruto teased him.

Itachi had already begun to use the liquid foundation on Sasuke. Naruto leaned back against the counter as Itachi worked, finishing the liquid foundation and now placing a light layer of powder over Sasuke's face. He had to admit that Sasuke looked beautiful, almost feminine as Itachi covered up his wounds with makeup.

"Sasuke, you're so pretty now," Naruto teased.

"Got a death wish?" Sasuke snarled.

It now appeared as if nothing had happened to Sasuke at all unless one knew to look for it. It seemed soon, almost too soon, when Itachi was done. Itachi stood back, giving a "phew" of relief as he'd finally finished covering up Sasuke's scuffs. The makeup looked oddly natural on Sasuke; Naruto couldn't even tell he was wearing it.

Even if they had makeup for Naruto's skin tone, Naruto wouldn't have been able to pull it off. It would have faded at some point after he'd been taken in, and Sasuke's only needed to last for, at the longest, about an hour. If only one out of the two of them looked injured, and even then only slightly, it probably wouldn't cause much issue. After all, given that they were claiming that Naruto lived on the streets, a few lacerations were to be expected.

"Well…" Itachi stated somewhat absently. "Should fifteen minutes be enough time?"

Sasuke swallowed, surprised by how quickly time was moving.

"Yeah…" Naruto answered. "That should do."

Itachi placed his hand on Naruto's shoulder, smiling at him that way he used to always smile at Sasuke when he was upset. Sasuke recognized that expression well.

"Everything's going to be okay, alright, Naruto? We're looking out for you, and I'm not an easy person to circumvent."

Despite the fact that Naruto didn't know what the word "circumvent" meant, Itachi's gesture did reassure him. He assumed that Itachi just meant that when it came to keeping Naruto safe, Itachi would be attentive and thorough. Naruto felt a little foolish that he would need such talk to begin with.

"I know, I know," Naruto answered, smiling back at Itachi. "You guys don't gotta keep reassuring me. I get it."

Itachi nodded, approaching the stairway and walking down to the bottom floor. Itachi was clearly ready to leave whenever they were. Naruto and Sasuke were ready too, actually. Itachi was just giving the two of them a few moments to themselves. They returned to Sasuke's bed, taking in the time. 11:48. They would take their ten minutes.

They leaned their bodies together, Naruto's head resting on Sasuke's shoulder. It was similar to the positions they had assumed when they first looked at the stars together, Naruto's body innocently pressed to Sasuke's.

"I can't believe it," Naruto mumbled. "It felt like it'd never end sometimes."

Sasuke frowned, resting against Naruto.

"Like what would never end?"

"You know what I mean," Naruto said somewhat bitterly, fiddling with Sasuke's belt loop.

"Naruto, even if this setup is ending…" Sasuke said, his voice trembling slightly. " _We_ aren’t."

"What are you saying?" Naruto asked nervously.

Sasuke bit his bottom lip. He didn't know what his next words would be.

"Whatever we have is stronger than the miles. This can't pull us apart if we don't let it."

Naruto swallowed. He knew what Sasuke was getting at. Sasuke wasn't the sort to use the word "forever." They were too young, and Sasuke was too rational. He was not as sentimental and romantic as Naruto was. Still, Naruto knew what Sasuke meant. Perhaps Sasuke couldn't think in terms of "forever," but Naruto certainly could.

"I won't let it."

"Yeah," Sasuke said silently through his tight throat, staring at the ground, "Neither will I."

They rested together silently, reveling in that knowledge until 12:03 came around. At that point, they gave each other a reluctant glance and walked downstairs. Itachi was reading in the family room. Upon spotting them, he closed his book.

"Ready?" Itachi asked.

"Heh. Ready as I'll ever be," Naruto answered.

Itachi smiled at Naruto and walked towards the car. Naruto's backpack was slung over one shoulder, and the cold air met them abruptly as they walked outside. Still, it was nothing like the cold Sasuke had found Naruto in the night before last. The noon sun had heated up their environment a good deal.

"I won't be offended if you two take the back seat together," Itachi told them.

"Thanks," Sasuke said with a nod.

Naruto opened the car door and sat directly behind Itachi, swinging his backpack down onto the area around his feet. Sasuke sat behind the passenger seat, both of them buckling up as Itachi started up the car. The radio began automatically, an alternative rock station playing at a soft volume. Sasuke and Naruto shut their doors behind them. Itachi backed out of the driveway, and some small part of Naruto felt like jumping right out of the car and running towards the house. Naruto's chest hurt when they turned the corner, the Uchiha household now out of sight.

The sounds of turn signals, the radio, other cars, and a random ambulance filled the space, but none of the occupants spoke. Other than those insignificant disturbances, there was total silence. Naruto stared out of the window, his sweaty hands fiddling with each other. The station was only about five minutes away. They were close. Far too close.

_If I told you things I did before, told you how I used to be, would you go along with someone like me?_

Naruto glanced over at Sasuke, who was facing away from him. He swore he saw his lips moving to the lyrics. Naruto stopped breathing for a moment, listening as closely as he could. Was Sasuke singing?

"If you knew my story word for word, had all of my history, would you go along with someone like me?"

Naruto could barely make out Sasuke's voice, low and smooth, singing along with whatever unnamed singer was gracing their radio frequency. He'd known all along. He was right.

He remembered the conversation so clearly, though perhaps this wasn't odd, considering that it had happened only a couple months ago.

"So, do you think I sing in the car?" Sasuke had asked him, his voice clouded with sleepiness the night Naruto had overheard his fight with Itachi, the night Naruto had finally discovered what happened to Sasuke's parents.

Naruto's answer: "Only rarely. When you're trying to think about something else, and you know no one can tell." Sasuke's voice was soothing, as difficult as it was to decipher. He hoped that one day, Sasuke would sing for him.

Sasuke glanced back, evidently made aware that Naruto was staring at him with his mouth ajar. Sasuke jerked straight as he noticed that he'd been discovered, his singing ceasing immediately. He felt himself blush as he shot Naruto what was some mixture between a pout and a glare. But Naruto reached forward, grabbing Sasuke's hand and giving it a squeeze as he smiled at him.

Naruto was surprised to find that Sasuke's hand was every bit as cold and sweaty as his own. Sasuke opened his mouth as if he were about to complain. Naruto was right about him; Sasuke remembered Naruto’s theory as well. He exhaled quietly and smiled at Naruto, squeezing his hand back.

They clasped each other's hands as the minutes passed, and it seemed as if they conversed now in a manner too intimate for spoken language. They squeezed each other tightly, casting each other pained smiles from time to time. Naruto forced his lips a little higher each time, because he couldn't stand the look of that smile on Sasuke's face.

He knew that Sasuke was only smiling for him, despite the fact that he hand was sweating so badly, and his jaw was clenched so tightly. They never let go of each other's hands. Unable to watch Sasuke try to look strong for him, Naruto leaned against Sasuke, and Sasuke leaned back, enjoying every bit of proximity they still could before they were separated.

There was plenty of parking by the police station, which was a very modern looking building. The architectural style was rather strange, clean white square columns on each corner of the building with tall blue windows. There was plenty of natural lighting. Itachi parked the car and turned it off.

"I'll be waiting out here, Sasuke."

Sasuke nodded. Itachi leaned backwards, placing his hand on Naruto's shoulder.

"See you soon, okay, Naruto?" Itachi said with a smile. Naruto appreciated that Itachi didn't make this sound so gravely final. It put him at ease.

But nonetheless, Naruto leaned forward, giving Itachi tight hug over the expanse of the car. Sasuke found it ironic that Naruto and his brother could hug more gracefully from the front and back seat of a car than Itachi and Sasuke could in their own kitchen.

"Thank you, Itachi," Naruto said sincerely, getting out of the car and shutting the door behind him.

Sasuke and Naruto walked forward, along the sidewalk up to the front of the police's station. They were now out of Itachi's view, facing a short stairway. They stood now, still, not wanting to continue moving but knowing that they had to.

Naruto could hear his heartbeat in his ears. He felt like he was about to vomit. Suddenly, everything came to the surface, but Sasuke's hand gripped his tightly. He kissed Naruto, not even caring that they were in public, that he could be seen. Their chests pressed together as Sasuke's tongue quickly brushed against Naruto's.

"C'mon, Naruto. Let's do this."

It was all Sasuke could think to say, really, but it appeared to have reassured Naruto. They took one step after the next, keeping their minds clear. They reached the large, strongly enforced glass doors, which Sasuke pried open for them. They gave each other one last look before walking over the threshold together, preparing themselves for whatever might come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end approaches. There should only be a few more updates left!
> 
> Itachi is trying not to feel too guilty.


	60. Chapter 60

Naruto glanced up at the ceiling, his hands crossed over his stomach. It was his second night at the group home. Sasuke's mattress hadn't been particularly luxurious; it was pretty standard. But compared to this bed, Sasuke's felt like sleeping on a cloud. A loose spring jabbed into Naruto's back. However, after his time sleeping on sidewalks, this wasn't an issue. Should it get too uncomfortable, he could always sleep on the floor. He had no problem with that.

It had been his chore that day to clean out the kitchen, so he bleached the counters, refilled all the ice trays, mopped the floor, and cleaned the stove, microwave and fridge thoroughly. It took him an hour, give or take. He was tired, so it was a bit ironic that it was taking him hours to fall asleep. His body was restless. For months, Sasuke had always been nearby, holding him, protecting him. He was alone again, for the first time in months. They only allowed him to talk with Sasuke for about thirty minutes a day.

He closed his eyes, trying to imagine that Sasuke was here with him, that if he only reached out, he could hold Sasuke's face in his hand, pet back his bangs and pin it behind his ear. At any time, he could reach down and hold Sasuke's hand, which tended to run cold. He liked to put Sasuke’s cool hand on his forehead when he had a headache. He tried to pretend that the mattress was indented, like he could almost feel the warmth of Sasuke's body.

A kid two years younger than him coughed, grounding Naruto in his not so convenient reality yet again. And then Naruto remembered that Sasuke wasn't here. He remembered that he was in a group home now, and he had absolutely no idea when he'd next share a bed with Sasuke: days, weeks, months, or maybe even years.

What's more, he had no idea where he was going to live. How long would he be in the group home? When someone did decide to take him in, how far away would they send him? Would his new family be safe? Sasuke and Itachi has promised to keep him safe, but they couldn't possibly be there every minute. For months, he had lived with Sasuke as if they were married. And now he was on his own again.

Naruto tossed and turned for hours. He had no clue what time it was when he fell asleep, but when a staff member roughly awakened him at six sharp, his throat was sore. His roommates had slept much better, it appeared. He shared a room with four of them, from the ages of seven to fifteen. Naruto was the oldest. This was probably not a good thing.

His roommates were good kids. Initially, Naruto tried to stay to himself. He didn't know whether to allow himself to get comfortable in this place or not. This lasted about three hours. The others were lonely. Knowing just how they felt, Naruto could hardly stand back and let that happen.

The sight of a seven-year-old with black hair, named Konohamaru, morosely trying to occupy himself with a Hotwheels car, first caught his attention. Naruto moved over, picking up his own car and making sure to make plenty of sound effects as their toys raced. Both of them were laughing, and just for a few moments Naruto was able to forget.

Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Naruto trudged into the cafeteria with Konohamaru next to him. They'd have about thirty minutes to eat breakfast. They were served cereal and a stale English muffin. The shared landline was in the hallway, unused. Naruto ate quickly, which came quite easily to him, and didn't take his eyes off the phone. The instant he finished his food, he asked a staff member to use it.

Ten minutes. Score!

He dialed the familiar number almost instantaneously. One ring. In the middle of the second ring, the other party picked up.

"Naruto?"

Naruto smiled at Sasuke's voice, his fingers gripping the phone and holding it close to his face.

"Hey," Naruto answered quietly. He hadn't meant to sound so scared.

There was a sizeable pause over the line.

"So last night I dreamed that I was fucking you wheelbarrow style, and then I woke up with this really uncomfortable boner," Sasuke admitted nonchalantly.

Naruto burst into laughter, his eyes watering slightly. He was glad that Sasuke had gotten him to smile.

"How's school?" Naruto asked.

"Alright."

Again, silence. Generally Naruto, was the one to carry the conversation.

Of course they both decided to talk again at the same instant, both of them immediately going quiet.

"How are you holding up?" Sasuke asked, sounding concerned.

"Heh," Naruto gave a quick chuckle. "I'm fine."

"Itachi and I have it together."

Sasuke jumped straight to the point. Naruto hadn't convinced him for a moment.

"Okay."

Naruto sighed, staring at the white wall. His chest felt tight, and his palms were sweaty.

"Keep talking, Sasuke. Tell me about what you did yesterday."

If only for now, Naruto wanted to live vicariously. He wanted to think of life outside of this place.

"Yesterday…" Sasuke paused, not accustomed to going out of his way to keep conversations alive. "Karin accidentally flipped off a nun."

Naruto snickered.

"I made chicken parmesan last night for Itachi. It turned out pretty well."

"You've been training?"

Sasuke tsk'd.

"I wouldn't call it that."

"Oh Sasuke, you know that the way to my heart is through my stomach. I love how you even still put out that extra effort to woo me."

"Whatever you say, dumbass."

Naruto laughed yet again. He fiddled with the phone cord, knowing but not caring that he looked like the stereotypical adolescent female.

"How's Itachi doing?"

"He went for a five mile walk yesterday."

“Yeah? Damn, he’s crazy.”

“Well, that’s my brother for you…”

One of the staff members glanced at Naruto, pointing at the watch on his wrist.

"I don't think I have much longer, Sasuke…" Naruto told him, his disappointment all too obvious.

Sasuke paused, and Naruto knew he was thinking. Naruto regretted sounding so gloomy. Even if Sasuke wouldn't admit it, he was probably worrying him right now.

"Call me tonight then. I have to make sure you're not falling for anyone in there."

Naruto chuckled, despite himself. It sounded so effortless, but he knew Sasuke was trying.

"Pft, and what if I do?"

"I'll kick you in the nuts."

"Woah…" Naruto answered, leaning his forearm against the wall and laughing yet again. "Are you sure you wouldn't just kick him in the nuts instead?"

"Both," Sasuke after an instant's thought. "Both is good."

Naruto caught the reference. It was almost a little unusual to hear Sasuke joke around like this, making references to Naruto’s favorite movies. Sasuke had been so supportive since Naruto had been taken away. Naruto knew that Sasuke was doing everything he could to keep his spirits up, knowing how significant and frightening this was to Naruto. Naruto was smiling now, ear to ear. God, he'd missed him.

"That's pretty intense."

"Love's a bitch like that," Sasuke replied with a shrug in his voice.

"Uzumaki Naruto," an older man's voice called out. "Your social worker's waiting for you in the office."

Naruto flinched. His social worker wasn't supposed to be around today. Had something happened?

"Dude, my social worker's here."

"Your social worker?" Sasuke asked, obviously having the same thoughts.

"I know. I don't get it either. But I gotta go."

"Bye, Naruto," Sasuke told him, and he couldn't completely hide the sadness and concern in his voice.

"Bye…"

Though it was the last thing he wanted to do, Naruto hung up the phone and was led down the hall. The sound of his footsteps echoed in his head. This was awfully early in the morning to be meeting with his social worker. What was going on?

He was taken into a small room with a large poster supporting foster care, showing different children being hugged by their new families. Man, it made foster care look like a walk in the park. He wished that it was reality.

His social worker, a young woman with thick makeup, entered the room.

"Good morning, Naruto. How are you?"

"I'm…good," Naruto answered, wondering when the woman would put him out of suspense.

"How has the home been for you?"

"Good," Naruto paused for a moment. "Look, not to be rude, but why am I here?"

The woman smiled at him.

"We've found a temporary home for you."

What? Already? But there had been so many others there, and he was one of the oldest. He'd never dreamed that he'd be placed so soon. Naruto merely gaped in shock.

"It's an emergency home. It's where you'll stay until we find something more permanent."

Naruto nodded. He knew he should be asking questions, but his mind was gone. On one hand, he was relieved to be leaving this place. On the other hand, he was facing his fears that much sooner. He sat there, trying to hide his anxiety, trying not to remember the night he got his scars. He tried to think of the potentially good parts of this situation. Maybe he could see Sasuke.

"Where will I be living?"

It was a strange first question to ask. Maybe he should have asked how long he was going to stay there, what the family was like, or anything else more directly relevant. But all he could think of now was being reunited with Sasuke, if only for an hour or so.

"Close. You'll be living downtown."

Naruto couldn't help but smile. Sasuke's suburb was only about a ten minute drive from downtown. He was sure Itachi would drive Sasuke over. He just hoped that his family would be cool with it. He hoped they weren't a bunch of homophobes; he could always play the "just friends" angle.

"How long will I be there?"

"Six months is the maximum. Other than that, just as long as it takes to find you a long-term family."

Naruto nodded slowly.

"What happens if we can't find me a family in six months?"

It was, of course, entirely possible. Naruto knew how this worked. He knew that it was always tougher for older kids.

"Then you come back here."

Naruto nodded. The place wasn't so bad. To say the least, he'd had worse. At least he was safe here. But it made seeing Sasuke much, much more difficult.

"You'll be staying with a man by the name of Umino Iruka."

Naruto had wished, if it were going to be a single person, it would have been a woman. This was a little too familiar.

"He's an elementary school teacher, and he’s helped a lot of kids out here. He grew up in the foster care system himself."

Naruto nodded again, too stunned to say much of anything.

"Enjoy your last day here, Naruto," the woman told him with a smile. Naruto forcibly smiled back. She sent him back to the dining room.

The instant Naruto returned, he made a beeline for the phone. He knew he only had a couple minutes, since breakfast was ending. Then he'd be forced back in his room to read. Sasuke quickly picked up the phone.

"Hi, Sasuke."

"That was fast."

"Yeah…" Naruto answered. "Well, I have somewhere to go now. At least for the next few months."

"Already? Damn. Congratulations."

"Yeah…"

Sasuke paused for a moment.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Of course he did. But given the amount of time he had for this phone call, he'd have to stick to the facts.

"I'm staying downtown with some guy. His name's Iruka."

"Iruka?" Sasuke asked curiously. "What's his last name?"

It was a rather uncommon name. Perhaps Sasuke knew someone named Iruka himself, but Naruto was sure the name wasn't _that_ uncommon.

"Um…" Naruto wracked his brain. He hadn't exactly been full attention in there. "I don't remember. Why?"

"He wasn't a teacher, was he?"

Naruto's eyes widened, shocked.

"Yeah. He's an elementary school teacher."

Naruto couldn't hear Sasuke over the phone for a bit. Sasuke smirked.

"Does the name Umino ring any bells?"

"Yeah! Yeah, that's it!"

Sasuke began to laugh, just quietly.

"Asshole, tell me what's going on here!"

"He was my fourth grade teacher."

Despite himself, Naruto let out a strong "Ha!"

"No way!"

"Itachi's too."

Naruto was smiling again, mostly out of relief.

"What was he like?"

"He was nice. A bit easily flustered at times, but everyone liked him."

Thank God. At least he had some reassurance now. He wasn't completely walking into the unknown.

"Itachi and I ran into him at Walmart a while ago. He still remembers us. I don't think visiting will be an issue."

Naruto was beaming. He had half a mind to cry.

"Oh God, Sasuke… He's taking me off at six. Do you think we can see each other tomorrow?"

"I bet think we can manage it," Sasuke replied, and Naruto could hear the smile in his voice.

Now Naruto actually _was_ crying. A couple tears brimmed at his eyes.

"I miss you so much," he told Sasuke, his voice breaking.

"Not much longer, Naruto."

And the bell rang. Breakfast was over. He'd have to be going back now. He jerked, quickly drying his tears and clearing his voice.

"I have to go."

"Naruto…"

For just a few seconds, Sasuke fell to silence.

"Good luck."

But Naruto had known damn well what had been on the tip of Sasuke's tongue. Naruto closed his eyes, trying not to start crying again.

"I love you too, Sasuke."

"When'd you become a psychic?" Sasuke asked dryly, causing Naruto to chuckle.

"Bye, Sasuke."

"Later."

Naruto hung up, feeling that much more prepared for what was to come.

* * *

Evening came more quickly than Naruto would have liked it to. Now a tall man, tan and strong, stood in front of him, wearing black dress slacks and a white button up top. His short ponytail was the only thing that didn't look strictly professional for a teacher. He had a long scar across his nose, which ran onto both of his cheeks.

“Hi,” the man said with a sheepish smile that felt so warm. “My name’s Iruka.”

Naruto grinned so widely that it showed his molars.

“Nice to meet ya! I’m Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto.”

Naruto extended his hand, vigorously shaking Iruka’s. Iruka smiled back at him.

“I have to fill out some paperwork. It should only take about 20 minutes or so. Hang tight, okay?”

Naruto nodded, and Iruka disappeared into his social worker’s office.

Despite the fact that Iruka had done everything as he should have, Naruto clenched his teeth and held his face in his hands as he waited for Iruka to finish his paperwork. He returned to his room to grab his backpack, which contained his only possession. His other roommates were all eating dinner, leaving the room empty. He paused for a moment, letting out a deep sigh and leaning his back against the wall.

His past foster father had given him a sheepish smile as well. He’d bought him presents and junk food. He had no reason to suspect what the man was capable of. Truly, one can never know.

But there was no running from this. Naruto returned to the common room, sitting on the couch with his backpack by his feet and a frown on his face.

“Naruto?”

He glanced over to find Konohamaru, looking up at him with wide and confused eyes. The Naruto he knew was always smiling.

“Hey, kid!” Naruto answered with a big smile, which even a child could tell was forced.

“Are you going away?” he asked in a quiet voice.

Naruto glanced at Konohamaru, distracted from his thoughts and now feeling nothing but concern for the boy. He knew that the road ahead of him would not be a smooth one.

“They’re having me live with someone for a few months,” Naruto answered, and Konohamaru’s face dropped.

“That’s...really cool, Naruto.”

Konohamaru couldn’t hide his true feelings if he tried.

“Hey, it’s okay! I’ll call back and give you my phone number when I get one. If you ever need someone to talk to, just call me. I’ve got you covered.”

Now Naruto’s grin was genuine, and it was bright, drawing a smile out of Konohamaru as well.

“Promise?”

Naruto nodded fervently.

“Yup! You can count on that!”

It was then that Iruka returned, again smiling gently.

“You’ve got all of your stuff?” Iruka asked Naruto.

“Hey,” Konohamaru said bluntly, looking at Iruka with his arms crossed.

“Hi, I’m Iruka. What’s your name?”

“You better be nice to Naruto,” Konohamaru answered, not buying into the pleasantries. “Or I’m going to find you and kick you in the balls.”

Iruka paused for a moment, staring at Konohamaru wide-eyed. He laughed.

“I’ll be nice to him. Don’t worry.”

Konohamaru seemed appeased.

“Yeah, you better be.”

Naruto caught himself smiling as well.

“I’m ready,” Naruto told Iruka.

He felt a small collision against his legs and looked down to find Konohamaru clinging to him. Naruto lowered himself onto his knees, giving Konohamaru a tight hug. He felt Konohamaru’s body shake and heard him fight back his tears.

“Call me, okay, Konohamaru?”

Konohamaru buried his head into Naruto.

“No matter what happens, you can talk to me. You have to be strong.”

Naruto knew that he was asking Konohamaru to show a strength well beyond his years, but this was unavoidable reality. Naruto had to learn strength at an early age himself. He just wished that throughout the process, he’d had someone who would never leave his life. That he had even one constant support over the years.

He felt Konohamaru quickly nod against him. Naruto stood again, giving Konohamaru’s shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“I’ll see you later, ‘kay kid?”

“Bye, Naruto.”

“Peace!” Naruto flashed Konohamaru a peace sign with a goofy grin on his face.

* * *

Iruka and Naruto ate dinner at TGI Friday's and ended up laughing over Monty Python and the Holy Grail references. Naruto could thank Sasuke for exposing him to that cinematic masterpiece. Finally, Naruto's enormous bacon cheddar hamburger arrived. After the group home food he'd been eating, the dish might as well have been fillet mignon. It had been ages since he'd gone out to eat.

Iruka's next move was to buy Naruto a prepaid cell phone. Naruto thanked Iruka no less than three times, at which point Iruka told him to give it a rest. Finally, he'd be able to talk to Sasuke in privacy. No more fully monitored ten minute phone calls.

Everything Iruka did should have reassured Naruto. But Naruto remembered the first day with his last foster father. That time as well, there had been no red flags. They'd gone home and watched Netflix for a while. He'd cooked Naruto some killer lasagna. He actually treated Naruto very well, of course, before he'd lost his marbles and decided to hack off a decent portion of Naruto's face. For that reason, Naruto could not trust Iruka.

Once they got home, Iruka let Naruto decompress. He believed that Iruka had been in foster care; he seemed to have this uncanny sense of understanding as to where Naruto's anxieties lay. They streamed an episode of House together, and Iruka stayed far from Naruto, on the other couch. Naruto appreciated that.

Towards the end of the episode, Naruto was yawning. At the group home, nine was time for lights out. He'd already become accustomed to it. Iruka offered to show Naruto his new bedroom, and Naruto accepted.

Iruka guided Naruto to his bedroom. It was a simple full bed, with a blue comfortable and cream-colored walls around it. It was a bit of a small bedroom, being in the heart of downtown, but it certainly wasn't as though Naruto were complaining. Apparently, Iruka frequently offered temporary respite to foster youths. He told Naruto that he didn't think he was ready yet to commit to being a parent, but at least he could do this small task.

He left Naruto in the room with his belongings, light on. Quickly, Naruto changed into his pajamas and lay down on the bed, exhausted in about every way imaginable. He couldn't turn the lights out. He closed his eyes, finally alone again. His first night in his new home.

And then, out of nowhere, he remembered. He remembered the smell of scotch, strong hands pinning him down, terrifying feeling of the knife going through his cheek, so deeply that Naruto couldn't gauge the damage without a mirror. Suddenly, his pulse fired off, breathing coming fast and deep. He felt dizzy, and tears were streaming down the sheets. He was alone.

But he could fix that now. He hated to worry Sasuke, but he needed him. He was _terrified_. But Sasuke could protect him this time. His hand trembling, he entered Sasuke's number and waited for an answer. It came instantaneously.

"Naruto," Sasuke answered, sounding very relieved.

But the quiet sound of Naruto's crying sounded over the phone.

"Naruto?" Sasuke asked, voice full of concern. "What happened?"

"He's going to hurt me."

"What makes you think that?" Sasuke asked dangerously.

"I have to get out of here! I can't…"

Panting was turning into hyperventilation.

"Breathe with me," Sasuke told him calmly. "Just shallow, slow breaths."

Naruto grit his teeth, trying to mirror the quiet sound of Sasuke's breath over the phone.

"Sasuke…" Naruto whimpered.

"Sshhh…" Sasuke whispered, and his voice sounded so sweet. So rarely did Naruto hear Sasuke speak this way. "It's okay, Naruto."

Naruto's breaths shuddered, but they were growing calmer.

"Did he…"

"No," Naruto interrupted. "No, he's been good. Great, even. But so was my last dad at first."

Naruto's words were coming more quickly, sounding frenzied.

"And what about the next? I just…"

And Naruto's stomach began to churn as he remembered just why he was upset to begin with, clenching his fists so tightly that his nails left crescent indents against his palm.

"Hush. I won't let anyone hurt you."

Naruto clenched his eyes, trying to imprint Sasuke's voice when he said this to his memory so that he could replay it the next time he felt like this.

"I'm never falling asleep tonight," Naruto mumbled. "I can't even turn the lights out."

Naruto took a deep swallow and gave a wry chuckle.

"God, I'm such a pussy."

"You can turn the lights off another night. Don't make this harder than it has to be by beating yourself up."

Naruto nodded, even knowing that Sasuke couldn't see it. He closed his eyes for several seconds, doing his best to calm himself.

"Dear god do I miss you," Naruto sighed.

"Trust me, I miss you too," Sasuke answered, sounding a little vulnerable.

But at the very least, Naruto had Sasuke's voice. Naruto closed his eyes, pretending that Sasuke was right there in bed with him, his mouth close to Naruto's ear as he spoke. And Naruto remembered now that he'd never once asked Sasuke how he was handling this. He felt selfish.

"Sasuke… How have you been doing with all of this?"

"That's not important, Naruto," Sasuke answered.

Of course, this did absolutely nothing to stave Naruto's concern.

"Sasuke…" Naruto looked down at his sheets, wiping a tear out of his eye. "Don't leave me in the dark."

Sasuke sighed.

"I miss you. That's about it."

"I know you do," Naruto soothed. "But I get the feeling that's not everything."

Sasuke was silent, apparently needing time for a decision.

"I…had a dream last night," Sasuke mumbled.

"Yeah?"

Naruto prompted, hoping that Sasuke would continue. This wasn't Sasuke dumping his problems on Naruto. As Sasuke talked, Naruto felt that much less alone.

"I was in my old house. My parents were there…"

Naruto swallowed hard. It was still difficult for him to hear Sasuke talk about his parents like this.

"And then the house just caught fire. It was like I wasn't even there, just observing. And it was… Vivid. Violent."

Sasuke took a moment's silence, presumably to compose himself. Naruto knew there must have been so many details that Sasuke was leaving out.

"And I was watching it. The house just fell down, all at once, around me. Everything became a bunch of ash. Then you were there, just past the house. I ran after you, and the faster I went, the longer the ground stretched, like you were in a tunnel. Then suddenly I was in an empty, flat field, and I could see for hundreds of miles. I was alone. Then I woke up."

Tears had misted Naruto's eyes again, and Sasuke felt so close to him at that moment. His dream hit on Naruto's deepest fears, running towards Sasuke, with Sasuke only moving farther and farther away. And then he'd be completely alone.

"I'm sorry…" Naruto said quietly. "I'm sorry I ran away. I'm sorry you feel that way."

"It was just a dream," Sasuke told him dismissively. "Besides, I'm not alone. And neither are you, even if it feels that way sometimes."

Naruto smiled, feeling his body calm. He felt like Sasuke understood him, like he'd truly been there before, even if their situations were different.

"What would you do, if you were here with me?" Naruto asked Sasuke, doing his best to imagine that he wasn't alone in this bedroom.

Sasuke paused, needing a moment to think.

"I'd be in bed with you. You'd be lying on my chest, and my arms would be around you. You'd feel as safe as you are."

So rarely did Sasuke's voice sound like this. It was soothing, sweet, so deeply infused with caring that is practically drenched his tone.

"I wish you were here," Naruto said longingly.

"I will be, soon enough."

Naruto was keeping his eyes closed, though, not wanting to open them again and remember how alone he was. There was a silence over the phone, and Naruto bit his lip.

"Sasuke, what else would you do?"

"I'd kiss you," Sasuke answered unabashedly. "Slowly. I'd hold your hand, and we'd lay there a while with our lips pressed together, mouths open before we let our tongues touch, really slowly."

He felt blood move south, his palms sweating.

"This is getting kind of hot," Naruto admitted sheepishly.

"Oh?" Sasuke replied with a smirk in his voice.

"Bastard."

Naruto rolled his eyes, and Sasuke smirked. A few seconds of silence.

"Then what?"

Naruto was wondering if he was pushing his luck. They'd never done anything like this before. How far was Sasuke willing to go?

"I'd put my hand under your shirt and move up your stomach and your chest. Then I'd rest it on your heart."

Speaking of his heart, it had decided to increase its tempo yet again, beating heavily – for entirely different reasons this time. Naruto felt his forehead growing sweaty, reaching his hand down and feeling his cock beginning to harden ever so slightly underneath his boxers. He caressed it, ever so gently.

"What would you do then?"

"I'd rub my thumb over your nipple, and with my other hand I'd cup you and feel you," Sasuke voice was deep, so calm and collected. Naruto was fondling his clothed cock, his mouth dry. Then Sasuke gave this smirk, and it was absolutely sinful. Naruto focused on the scenario Sasuke was describing, eyes still closed. He so vividly imagined Sasuke's eyes looking him up and down, smirking in that same way as he saw how aroused Naruto was becoming. It was almost as if it had just happened. "I bet you'd be so hot down there."

Before he could stop himself, Naruto let out a quiet moan.

"Are you getting hard?" Sasuke asked, sounding a little arrogant.

"No!" Naruto shot back on reflex.

Naruto felt the blood rush to his face as he blushed.

"Well…" he corrected. "Kind of."

Scared and horny. This was an interesting mix, though the latter was definitely triumphing over the former.

"Me too," Sasuke answered shamelessly. "I'm touching myself now, through my boxers."

Just as he himself was doing. They both were lying there, touching themselves. Naruto tried to imagine what Sasuke must look like.

"Oh fuck," Naruto mewled out. "Sasuke…"

He felt his cock begin to press up against his boxers, steadily rising to attention. How could Sasuke talk so shamelessly like this?

"What…" Naruto trailed off.

From all of his panting, Naruto's mouth was dry. He licked his lips and continued, "What next?"

"I'd let you grind against me, for a while. I'd give your nipple a pinch, to keep you on your toes. But I'd be too impatient to go at that pace for long."

Naruto couldn't stand it anymore. He pulled back the band on his boxers, reaching down and lightly grasping at his hardening sex. He dragged the back of his nails up and down it, shivering.

"Please keep going."

"I'd slide off your pants, reach under your boxers, and grab your ass, pull a cheek apart so that your entrance opens up for me. My nails would leave red marks behind. And I'd take a finger and press it to your hole."

If it was possible to be killed by a voice, Naruto had just barely evaded death. Sasuke's tone was so steady, so unashamed and hungry. It would appear that Sasuke had missed Naruto in more ways than one. The words seemed to roll off of his tongue, graceful and skilled like seemingly everything else he did. Sasuke had never said such words to him before. Damn, he was good at this. Naruto licked his thumb and pointer finger, running his hand over his chest and just slightly pinching his nipple as Sasuke described. Naruto jerked.

"Th-then what?"

"I'd move your cock out of your boxers, lower myself, and hold it in one hand. I'd hold up my mouth to the head and breathe on it, but I wouldn't lick it. I'd make you wait."

Everything Sasuke said seemed so real. He could imagine it. He could feel the gentle and slight touch of Sasuke's lips against his cock, the excruciating way he'd glance up at Naruto as he made him wait. His lips would hardly even touch, every now and again the slight plumpness of his bottom lip pressing against the engorged flesh. He imagined the seconds of eye contact they held, with Sasuke looking some mixture of wicked and lascivious.

Naruto began to pump up and down his dick, slowly. Shutting his eyes tighter, the sound of his panting came over the line. Sasuke gave off this mix between a snicker and a smirk, and Naruto felt like he could see Sasuke's face at just that instant. It about killed him.

"Naruto, are you touching yourself?"

Naruto's face went a few shades or red deeper.

"Take an educated guess, bastard."

"I don't work with educated guesses," Sasuke told him deliberately. "Paint me a picture."

"I'm…"

And Naruto felt nervous now. He'd never done this before. He wasn't as articulate and collected at Sasuke. He bit his lip, losing the nerve to continue.

"Can't keep up, Uzumaki?" Sasuke smirked.

"Like hell I can't," Naruto answered before his brain had a chance to catch up. "I'm… I took my cock out now, and I'm rubbing my hand up and down it, pretty slowly. I'm holding off as much as I can."

Naruto panted again, clenching his teeth.

"It's so difficult."

"Put it back," Sasuke commanded.

"Wh-what?" Naruto asked in despair.

"Put it back in your boxers. Hold on for me."

"Ngh…" Naruto answered, very reluctantly clothing his cock once again. But he could still touch it from the outside. Sasuke made no rules there.

"You'd just have to feel my breath on it, knowing that I'm so close, knowing what I'm capable of, and just being left hungry. Yes…" Sasuke stopped, his voice reminding Naruto of satin, so wicked.

"I'd make you beg."

Shivers went up and down Naruto's spine. God. He didn't know how much longer he could stand this. How Sasuke could so quickly flip from gentle to downright evil, Naruto had no idea. He felt the burning desire to whip his cock out and pump it, quickly and frantically, to finally just let go. He was beginning to ache.

"Then?" Naruto asked.

But Sasuke was silent. Wondering if Sasuke was just calculating his response, Naruto waited for a while before pressing again.

"Sasuke?"

"Hm?" Sasuke asked with mock ignorance.

It made Naruto want to either pounce him or punch him in the face.

"Tell me what you'd do next."

Sasuke was silent for a few more seconds.

"Beg for it."

Naruto growled, but he was desperate. He _needed_ this.

"Sasuke, _please_... Please tell me how you'd touch me next."

"I'd lick you, suck you…"

Naruto writhed against the sheets, so hungry. He wanted more contact. It was agony.

"I'd take you in as deep as I could and let you hammer on the back of my throat. You'd fill my mouth, and I'd reach around, my finger warm and wet, and I'd finger you. I'd…"

And now Sasuke's voice was losing that composed edge. He heard Sasuke's breath quicken as well.

"I'd reach in and feel you, and I'd keep going until you were all I could imagine. And then you'd fill my mouth, and you'd look down and see me like that, covered in you."

"Oh my god," Naruto whimpered. "Sasuke, please, _please_ let me…"

"What are you doing right now?" Sasuke interrupted.

"I'm just lying here. My body's all sweaty and hot. I'm almost completely hard. It kinda hurts. I'm just…rubbing against the sheets."

Naruto paused, licking his lips, breathing in deeply.

"What are you doing, Sasuke?"

"Same story," Sasuke answered.

"Please, describe it."

"I didn't wear clothes to bed tonight."

Naruto didn't know why even that simple sentence had him melting.

"I feel so hot. I'm so hard. I'm thinking about making love to you."

Naruto didn't bother to keep himself from moaning, reminding himself what it felt like when Sasuke would pound deep into him. But he’d never heard Sasuke say that before, had never heard him call sex “making love.”

"I'm holding off too," Sasuke told him. "God, it's agonizing."

"Sasuke, please… _Please_ …" Naruto begged. "I can't do this anymore. I need it!"

"Follow my directions," Sasuke told him. "I'll do it to myself at the same time."

"Okay…"

"Slip your cock out of your boxers and lick your hand, get it moist."

Naruto swore he heard Sasuke squeezing out some lube.

"Hold your cock and lightly tap the slit with your thumb three times. Now wait."

Naruto moaned as he tapped the tip of his cock, the dampness from his saliva cooling in the air. The flesh was red and swollen.

"Now, pump. Start off slow."

There was panting on both sides of the line, the shlicking sound of their cocks rubbing into their hands. God, Naruto had wanted this.

"Faster," Sasuke told him, and Naruto picked up the speed, tilting his head back and moaning quietly. He heard Sasuke grunt.

"Hold your finger to your hole," Sasuke's voice had lost its composure, now out of breath. "Push it in."

"Ngh… Shit…" Naruto sighed as he pushed the top half of his digit in, still keeping up his rhythm with his other hand. He heard Sasuke gasp, just slightly, as he did the same thing.

"Now pump your cock faster. Imagine that that finger is me, wanting inside," Sasuke breath was jagged. "How does your body feel?"

"So…hot…" Naruto stammered out. "It's all… I want you so bad. I just want you inside, so bad. It's like my entire body wants it."

"God…" Sasuke said, his voice full of hunger and longing. "I bet you look gorgeous."

Naruto whimpered, imagining Sasuke's eyes on his body, all modesty discarded.

"You can let go now. Let's cum together."

"God, Sa-Sasuke," Naruto shivered, not bothering to hold back anymore. His back arched, and he did everything in his power to keep his voice down. Sasuke's breath was growing heavier and faster. Then he hitched.

"Shit… Naruto…" Sasuke whispered, and then he began to moan. It was obvious that he was forcing himself to be quiet, not wanting Itachi to hear. Yet thanks to the house's soundproofing, he was at least able to make more noise that Naruto was capable of.

Naruto imagined the look on Sasuke's face as he orgasmed, the way the corners of his lips would tilt upwards just slightly. Sasuke was probably arching his back, his bangs falling away from his face and revealing his forehead, covered in the slightest bit of sweat. His pale skin would be flushed light pink, his nipples perked up to attention. And Naruto felt his whole body go stiff at the image, his mind blank, and all he could imagine was pleasure. He unleashed into his hand, biting down hard, trying his best to keep his voice down.

And then the only sound over the phone was both of their panting.

"Fuck…" Naruto said, his body buzzing with pleasure.

He looked down, finding that only his hand and thighs were covered.

"God, Sasuke, look what you did," he said wryly. "Now I'm covered in jizz."

Sasuke snickered. Naruto was grabbing a few tissues, cleaning himself off. He'd have to dispose of those discreetly tomorrow.

"Yeah, I had a towel."

"Asshat," Naruto snipped back. Easy cleanup for Sasuke.

As he cleaned, he felt his exhaustion return. But by the time they were done with this exchange, Naruto had finished cleaning himself off, and he felt like he was going to pass out.

"Sasuke…" Naruto muttered. "Thank you."

"My pleasure," Sasuke answered, sounding a little sleepy himself.

"I love you, Sasuke," Naruto purred.

"I love you too."

Naruto stayed on the phone with Sasuke, listened to his long and peaceful breathing. He closed his eyes, at last falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up; this next chapter will probably be a week late.
> 
> I've been hit crazy hard by all my chronic health problems, am in a crunch period at work, and have a baby shower to attend. I also decided to add an additional chapter (next one) kind of spur of the moment.
> 
> Anyhow, let me know what you think!


	61. Chapter 61

He’d made it to the other side of the city, his stop approaching. He didn’t have words for the way he felt, but his eyes always looked in front of him, a small piece of paper with a street address balled up in his right fist.

It had only been four days since he’d last seen Naruto, yet still, it felt as though so much had changed. He knew that Naruto was in no danger. Still, he hoped that Iruka was being supportive. He didn’t know why his hands were sweating. After what seemed so long, his bus came to a stop. Sasuke waited for an old woman to make her way down the steps and out of the bus before exiting.

He again looked at the address. He couldn’t be far away from the house. Naruto’s new place was in the eastern side of the downtown district. Sasuke walked past one block until he found Naruto’s house number. It was a compact two-story townhome with a stucco exterior and shingled roof.

Walking towards the door, Sasuke took a moment to gather himself before knocking, adjusting his coat. The door swung open, revealing his old fourth grade teacher, dressed in slacks and a white button down. He looked to be in his mid thirties. The instant he saw Sasuke, a large smile ate up his face.

“Sasuke!” Iruka said with a laugh, looking Sasuke up and down. “Wow, you really have grown.”

“Nice to see you again, Mr. Umino,” Sasuke answered.

Generally, Sasuke wasn’t one to call adults by their last names. But given that Iruka had been Mr. Umino to him since the fourth grade, it was a difficult habit to break.

Iruka pat Sasuke on the back, smiling.

“You can call me Iruka n-”

Sasuke heard a thundering behind Iruka, and he could only assume that it was Naruto bulldozing down the steps. Naruto entered Sasuke’s vision when he raced across the living room to stand behind his guardian.

Naruto was wearing an outfit that Sasuke didn’t recognize - blue jeans with a snugly fitting Motley Crue T-shirt, and a thin burnt orange hoodie jacket rolled up to his elbows. Then their eyes met, and Sasuke had nothing to say. Iruka moved out from between them and smiled.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Come in!”

And Sasuke did. The floor was covered with short cream-colored carpet, the tan walls decorated with picture frames and children’s drawings. Now with a full view of the dining room, Sasuke could see a small wooden table had been set for three people. Iruka gave a sheepish smile.

“I figured you might be hungry.”

Iruka had been correct, actually. While he appreciated the gesture, he just wanted Naruto alone. He wanted to hold him again, because they last time that he held Naruto, they had no idea when they’d see each other again. It was by sheer luck that they were already in each other’s company.

Nonetheless, he understood why Iruka would want to feel the situation out. It had been a long time since he’d last seen Sasuke, and Naruto had only arrived at his house a couple days ago. He was being responsible.

“Thanks. I didn’t eat breakfast, so it’s good timing.”

Iruka sighed.

“Sasuke, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I taught you that!”

Sasuke merely shrugged. Naruto and Sasuke still hadn’t said a word to each other. As Iruka walked towards the table, they stared into each other’s eyes once more, and Naruto bore a modest but sincere smile. And somehow that smile spoke to him, just the way that he was sure that mild, barely perceptible smile on his own face spoke to Naruto.

“I made us some pork chops,” Iruka told Sasuke. “Naruto said you didn’t have any dietary restrictions, so I hope this is alright.”

The table had room for four, two at each end. Iruka took one side, and Sasuke the other. Naruto grinned, sliding himself over on the bench and cramming himself against Sasuke. Their bodies touched, and Sasuke felt as though his chest had suddenly become warm. Only as an afterthought did he wonder what Iruka knew about their relationship.

“Help yourself.”

A large plate of pork chops rested in the center of the table, with a large salad and some green beans next to it. Iruka’s plate was mostly filled with salad, with a few strips of pork on the side. Naruto loaded his plate up to the brim with meat.

“Eat some vegetables,” Sasuke chided.

“I don’t wanna be a beanpole like you,” Naruto answered, elbowing Sasuke playfully. “I gotta bulk up!”

“Sasuke’s right. You need to eat your vegetables if you want to be strong and healthy. There are things in it like potassium, folic acid, cal-”

“Fiiiiine,” Naruto griped. “Jeez you guys, I’ll eat some green beans.”

He took a scoop and plopped it over his pork chops. Naruto felt comfortable interrupting Iruka, which to Sasuke was a good sign, if not slightly disrespectful. Then again, Sasuke had been forced to call his father sir, so he recognized that his standards might be a little off. Naruto already began shoveling his food into his face, though neither Iruka nor Sasuke had begun. Understandably, Naruto’s table manners left something to be desired.

“Idiot, wait for everyone else to be served before stuffing your face.”

Iruka tilted his head slightly at Sasuke’s sharp tone, and Sasuke looked over to him.

“You’re going to have to teach this one some manners,” Sasuke said, gesturing to Naruto.

“But I’m hungry!” Naruto replied with a full mouth.

“Yeah, well you’re not…” Sasuke stopped himself. You’re not in my bedroom alone, just the two of us, he’d begun to say.

“...A caveman,” Sasuke recovered quickly, meanwhile serving himself a petite portion of all three dishes. “Eat like a civilized human being.”

Iruka laughed, and the sound was very warm. It reminded him, if only slightly, of Naruto’s laughter in that regard, though it was milder.

“Sasuke, are you going to do all of my parenting for me?”

Naruto tried to hide the smile forming on his face at the word “parent” being used in connection with him.

“He’s like a little kid. You’ll figure that out soon enough.”

“Sasuke, you were in fourth grade when I moved to this house, so…” Iruka paused to think, churning over some simple math in his head. “Aren’t you a year younger than Naruto?”

“Bwahaha!” Naruto erupted out laughing, grabbing Sasuke’s shoulders and roughing him around. “You got told!”

And this, despite everything, felt so natural, even after everything that had happened over the past week.

“That doesn’t matter if you act like you’re five years younger than me, blockhead.”

Iruka’s laughter grew, breaking both Naruto and Sasuke out of their conversation.

“You two are a riot.”

Naruto huffed, crossing his arms.

“Naruto told me that you guys met a few months ago while you were volunteering at St. Magdalene's.”

Sasuke nodded.

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“My aunt goes to that church. You’ve probably even seen each other.”

“Possible,” Sasuke said, looking down at his plate and picking up some lettuce with his fork.

Sasuke couldn’t help but feel a little apprehensive. After all, he hadn’t been volunteering there out of the goodness of his heart, and he didn’t want Iruka finding out that he was a delinquent. A change of topic was in order.

“By the way, this food is delicious. Thank you very much.”

“Oh, well I really wanted to. When I heard about how you’d been helping Naruto out, I really wanted to show my gratitude.”

Sasuke looked back at Iruka, puzzled. Iruka hadn’t even known Naruto. Why would he be grateful?

“See, I grew up in the system too. Just like Naruto, I lost my parents when I was almost too young to remember.”

Iruka had been Sasuke’s teacher. And sometimes it felt strange to think that yes, teachers have lives as well. Yet he never would have expected something like this. He hid his surprise well.

And Sasuke was sure that this “almost” was very significant to Iruka. Naruto truly had no memory of his parents.

“I was lucky. I was adopted at the age of twelve by a nice family, but not before having a few bad ones. So whenever anyone helps someone in that situation out, I can’t help but feel grateful to them.”

“Well, Naruto is so clueless that it was painful to watch,” Sasuke answered, looking at a smiling Naruto and rolling his eyes. “I had to do something.”

“Who are you calling clueless, bastard?” Naruto shot back.

“Not in front of company,” Iruka cut in. “Watch the language.”

“Seriously? You should hear the words that come out of Sasuke’s mouth. He cusses like a sailor!”

Iruka looked at Sasuke with a little shock. After all, he’d been so well behaved as a child, and was one of the only students to call him sir. Sasuke merely raised his eyebrows and shrugged, not bothering to deny it.

“You were such a little saint. It’s hard to even imagine.”

Naruto lowered his fork, his eyes wide and dumbfounded as his mouth hung ajar.

“ _Eh?_ Sasuke, a saint?”

“He was always polite to the teachers, did his homework, was quiet in class…” Iruka remarked. “He was also very popular with the female students, though he kept to himself.”

“That part isn’t surprising.”

“Speaking of the old days, how have you been, Sasuke?” Iruka asked.

“Good,” he answered simply.

“And how about Itachi?”

“He’s studying to be a lawyer at UCLA,” Sasuke said, taking a bite of the pork chops. They’d been marinated and were very flavorful.

“He’s already in law school?”

“He skipped a few years.”

“Not surprising. He was one of the brightest students I’ve ever had,” Iruka said, taking a sip of water.

“Mn,” Sasuke answered with a shrug.

“By the way, you’ll have to give your mom and dad my best wishes. I wish we’d stayed in better touch.”

Sasuke was used to these slips. He ignored it.

“Sure.”

“Did they ever get to travel overseas? I know your mom especially really wanted to do that.”

This was something that even Sasuke hadn’t known. They never talked to him about these things. Only soon before their death did his parents have enough money and time to even consider something like that. Naruto rested his hand on Sasuke’s thigh underneath the table.

“No.”

Sasuke paused, sighing. Iruka was bound to find out eventually, so hopefully he’d save everyone some awkwardness.

“Actually, they passed away last year.”

Iruka stopped moving now, putting his hand to his mouth in shock.

“Oh my God. Sasuke, I’m so sor-”

Iruka’s eyes had so quickly gotten glassy. Though Sasuke had absolutely no need to be cooed over, he was relieved that Naruto had ended up with someone so empathetic. He wanted Iruka to take care of Naruto, even if only for these next few months. Naruto would need it.

“We’re fine,” Sasuke interrupted. “Itachi’s my legal guardian now, so we live together. Nothing to worry about.”

This was the most comfortable response, Sasuke assessed, for everyone involved.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Iruka answered, though the melancholy hadn’t yet left his face.

“What have you been up to?” Sasuke asked, again hoping to change the subject. It was a little odd to see Naruto so quiet during conversation. “Do you still teach?”

“Yes. Fourth grade, as always.”

They were more than half way through their meals now. Sasuke was glad to get to know Iruka. This was a temporary fix, truly. But at least this bought them some time. At least Sasuke could be nearby while Naruto adjusted.

Iruka paused, as if he’d just remembered something.

“Naruto, what grade were you in when you were in school last?”

“Ninth. I left in the very beginning of the year though.”

“If you study, we might be able to get you in tenth next year.”

Naruto beamed, nodding.

“Yeah! I can’t wait to get back to school! When can I go?”

Sasuke hadn’t heard anyone so enthusiastic about school in a very long time. It was definitely not something typical for their age group.

“We have to get you settled first, but I don’t see why you couldn’t start in a few weeks.”

“The new semester just began last week,” Sasuke added.

“Since you didn’t finish ninth grade, you’ll probably be placed in that year.”

“What school would I go to?” Naruto asked.

“Well… We’re right on the school district line, but it would be Konoha.”

Sasuke paused for a moment. He hadn’t thought things out to this point. They would be classmates? The thought of Naruto sitting the same classrooms as he did, roaming the same halls, meeting the same people was unreal to him.

“Cool!”

Naruto’s silence had all but withered away.

“But ninth grade? Sasuke’s already in tenth! _And_ I’m older than him!”

“You could always see if they’d consider letting you get into tenth with a placement test, but given that they’re so far through the school year, I really don’t think they’d want to put you in tenth.”

Naruto crossed his arms and frowned.

“Don’t worry. You’ll get enough of me, Naruto.”

Even if Naruto had been placed in the tenth grade, it was unlikely that they’d be in many classes together. Sasuke’s classes were all honors or AP level.

“I wasn’t thinking that…” Naruto lied.

They were all sitting in front of their empty plates now.

“Well, I’m stuffed,” Iruka stated.

“Me too,” Naruto inserted. “Lemme do the dishes.”

“Well, I won’t stop you.”

* * *

Naruto ascended the stairway, and Sasuke followed. When Naruto sat on his bed, Sasuke sat down right beside him. They still hadn’t spoken to each other after leaving Iruka’s company, both of them now looking in front of them. Sasuke turned toward Naruto, holding his hand and planting a chaste kiss on his lips. Naruto squeezed back, resting his forehead against Sasuke’s.

Naruto allowed his head to slip, resting his face on the crook of Sasuke’s neck. Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto, allowing him to become small. He grabbed Sasuke’s hand, tightly, and Sasuke gently pet the back of Naruto’s head, each finding their comfort in the embrace.

Minutes passed by as they rested against each other. When they parted days ago, every second was limited. They had time now, but Iruka was a temporary solution. Within the coming months, at any point, Naruto could be moved again.

It would be a good thing for Naruto, to have a place where he finally belonged. He needed to find a home. Sasuke just hated the idea of him having to readjust, to trust yet another time.

Sasuke felt Naruto’s body shake, just slightly, against his own, Naruto’s head hidden by Sasuke’s chest now.

“Sasuke…” Naruto said quietly.

“Hm?”

“I think… I think that I’m going to be safe here.”

Naruto separated himself and looked up at Sasuke, smiling with tears in his eyes.

“Yeah…” Sasuke told him, a mild smile mirroring Naruto’s. “You’re going to be safe.”

“Even though it’s only been a few days, I’ve missed touching you,” Naruto told him, holding his hand to Sasuke’s face and running it down his cheek.

“As soon as you start school, we’ll see each other pretty much every day.”

“For now…” Naruto trailed off.

It could be months. It could be weeks. Neither of them knew how long this would last. It was a familiar feeling to both of them.

“Neither of us are kids, Naruto. Not anymore,” Sasuke told him in a rough voice. “We’ll find each other. And if they think they’re going to mess with you, they have another thing coming. Even Itachi and Juugo have your back now.”

Naruto paused for a moment, his face blank before he was taken by laughter.

“That’s right! I’ll fuck ‘em up! Look at these guns!”

Naruto flexed his bicep at Sasuke, who gave a good-natured scoff. Well, to be honest, it was certainly something. Naruto’s calisthenics had been paying off.

Sasuke remembered Naruto’s bony shoulders, the way his skin curved around each rib, the way Naruto would fly a couple feet if Sasuke so much as bumped him. Not anymore.

“They better hope that you do, because otherwise I’ll fuck them up ten times worse.”

Over the months, Sasuke had learned to control himself, to heed an unbiased logic rather than to listen to his adrenaline and the slight tremble as rage overtook his body. But if anyone harmed Naruto… All bets were off.

“Hey!” Naruto squawked. “Who’s to say you’re stronger?”

Though Naruto knew full well that a violent Sasuke could be something pretty horrifying. He knew he hadn’t seen the worst of it.

“Are you challenging me?” Sasuke asked dangerously, perking his eyebrow.

“And if I am?”

Sasuke looked around them. He hadn’t sparred with anyone in a while. Yet as tempting as it was, his first visit to Iruka’s house was not the time for this.

“Then I’ll take you on.”

Naruto seemed to bounce with excitement, giving him a wide grin.

“But not today,” Sasuke added, putting up his palm at Naruto. “I don’t want to give Iruka the wrong idea.”

“How _convenient_ ,” Naruto answered, because as valid as Sasuke’s reasoning was, Naruto couldn’t help but goad him.

“Talk all you want,” Sasuke shrugged. “It won’t matter after I kick your ass.”

“Fuck it! I’ll take you on _right now!_ ” Naruto exclaimed, with plenty of accompanying hand gestures.

“Cool it, shit for brains.”

“You smug little prick!” Naruto snapped back, but the last two words carried a hint of laughter.

Sasuke looked down at his watch.

“When do you have to go?” Naruto asked, trying to hide his disappointment.

“Itachi should be here in about five minutes.”

Sasuke had somewhere to go.

Naruto nodded, looking down.

Given that it was Sasuke’s first time visiting Naruto, he didn’t want to overstay his welcome. He knew that he’d need to get Iruka comfortable with him first, especially considering that Iruka was accountable for whatever happened to Naruto. He hoped that Iruka would allow Naruto to come over to his house eventually, maybe even to spend the night.

It seemed sudden when Naruto tugged Sasuke’s bangs, bringing Sasuke’s face against his own. He kissed Sasuke, their lips open now, tongues just gently brushing against each other.

This was an act of intimacy, from Naruto’s heart rather than from his hormones. They had been inseparable over the past several months, separated only by Sasuke’s schooling and Naruto’s work at the labor center.

“I’m going to miss you.” Sasuke could feel those words through Naruto’s kiss as clearly as if Naruto had spoken them. Sasuke’s hand kneaded the flesh of Naruto’s forearm, an unspoken comfort.

Their lips parted, foreheads now resting against each other.

“You’d better train hard if you want to beat me,” Sasuke said, his eyes but inches from Naruto’s. “Unless you want me to go easy on you.”

“What?!” Naruto nearly shouted. “Don’t you dare!”

Sasuke smirked.

“I’ll be-”

Sasuke was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell, even earlier than Sasuke had expected. The two grew silent just for a moment, Naruto taking Sasuke’s hand in his.

“Sasuke, your brother’s here,” Iruka called out.

Sasuke and Naruto gave each other one last look before Sasuke stood and left Naruto’s bedroom. Naruto followed. He heard Iruka and Itachi speaking to each other at the base of the stairs.

“Itachi, it’s been so long!”

“It has. Nice to see you again, Mr. Umino,” Itachi answered.

Iruka laughed.

“Sasuke said the same thing word for word. Call me Iruka now.”

“How’ve you been, Iruka?”

“Nothing new. Still teaching at Konoha Elementary. I hear you’re on your way to being an attorney?”

Iruka was leaning on his door frame, smiling at Itachi.

“Yes, that’s true.”

“Well, I’ll let you two be on your way.”

Sasuke gave Naruto one last look before walking over to Itachi. Naruto hadn’t told Iruka that Sasuke was his lover. Naruto smiled at Sasuke, who lifted his hand up in the air and gave a simple, “Later.”

Itachi broke the silence as Sasuke and he walked towards the car.

“How is he doing?”

“Good. I think seeing me interact with Iruka helped.”

Sasuke had hoped that showing Naruto, rather than telling him, that Iruka had known the brothers for years would reduce his anxieties. And he knew why Itachi had come in as well. It had, indeed, been a while since they had known Iruka. He wanted to scope out Naruto’s new home himself.

They shut their doors behind them, and Itachi turned on the ignition.

“Did you tell Naruto where you’re going?”

Sasuke swallowed, eyes cast to the ground. Sure, Naruto had seen Sasuke’s antidepressants. He knew about Sasuke’s issues. Yet despite everything, he still hadn’t told Naruto that he was seeing his psychiatrist that day, or that he had one at all, for that matter. Perhaps, he justified, he was simply trying not to worry Naruto. After all, Naruto had plenty of problems on his own.

“There’s nothing wrong with that, Sasuke.”

Sasuke resisted the temptation to insist that this was not what he was thinking, and that Itachi had no reason to suspect that he was thinking it. He took the words for what they were, nodding as the car approached its destination.

* * *

It felt both familiar and foreign as Sasuke sat in Shizune’s office. He’d successfully dodged her for some time now. Of course, Itachi’s reaction hadn’t been pleasant when he discovered that Sasuke had stopped taking his medication. It was difficult to tell whether Itachi was more angry with Sasuke or with himself.

“Welcome back,” she said with a smile.

Her hair was shorter. She’d taken the candle off the table. Maybe she had remembered that Sasuke had disliked it.

“Hey.”

“How’ve you been?”

Sasuke leaned his head toward the side, mulling over the question. Where to begin… He was supposed to be honest with her, wasn’t he?

“I’ve been well. I’m back in school for next semester.”

And half of my friends are incarcerated now, by the way.

“How is it?”

Sasuke shrugged.

“School is school.”

“How has your medication been helping you?”

Sasuke frowned at Shizune.

“You don’t have to pretend like he didn’t tell you. Besides, can’t you tell that I’ve run out of refills?”

“I forget I have to be so direct with you. I didn’t want it to come off as an attack.”

Sasuke gave another shrug. He wasn’t trying to be difficult. These sessions had just never come easily to him. They were uncomfortable.

“It’s hard to tell. Things were crazy for a while, so I don’t know whether not taking my meds were making things worse or not.”

“When’s the last time you took them?”

“Almost two months ago.”

“That was very dangerous, Sasuke. You weren’t on a small dose.”

“Are you going to lecture me?” Sasuke asked, looking up at Shizune in a way that made it clear how fruitless such a task would be.

But Shizune knew that this had never been the way to reach Sasuke.

“Two months is a long time. It should be out of your system by now.”

“Can I stop taking it then? I’m fine.”

“You never know with this sort of thing. You may relapse, so I want to keep seeing you. But if you’re doing alright for now, I don’t see a reason to put you back on it.”

They were silent for several seconds more.

“I stopped because Itachi got cancer. We were tight on money, and I didn’t want to hold him back any more than I already have.”

“You know that Itachi doesn’t see it that way, don’t you, Sasuke?” Shizune asked softly.

“Actually…” Sasuke paused. “Yes, I do.”

Shizune smiled at Sasuke.

“I’ve done a lot of...fucked up things lately,” Sasuke mumbled under his breath.

“Yeah?”

“I stopped about a month ago, and I’ve been doing really well. It’s just… When I almost lost Itachi, I…”

Sasuke frowned, balling his fists.

“I became irrational. I let fear control everything I did and justified it under the name of family. The only thing I was doing was putting everything at risk.”

“You seem very different, Sasuke,” Shizune said warmly.

Perhaps Sasuke had shown an objective self-awareness that he’d lacked in the past.

“Yeah. People keep telling me that.”

“Why do you think that happened?”

Sasuke couldn’t help but smile, even if so mildly that Shizune might not have been able to see it.

“A lot has happened.”

Seconds lapsed. He appreciated the fact that Shizune didn’t always need to fill the silence. She wasn’t prying.

“I met someone.”

Meeting Naruto wasn’t the only thing that had changed him. But when Sasuke thought about changing, about healing from who he’d been, Naruto was the first thing on his mind.

“Really?” Shizune asked, looking surprised.

“You don’t have to look so shocked,” Sasuke said, just the slightest bit of playfulness in his tone. It caused Shizune to laugh.

“What’s this someone like?”

“He’s a total dumbass,” Sasuke said, the words coming to him before he had a second to think.

“You sound like such a sweet couple,” Shizune said ironically.

“‘Sweet’ doesn’t apply to us. More like strange. We don’t get along like most couples I’ve seen.”

Strange, at times violent, and a tad bit dysfunctional. He’d leave that out.

“But…”

Sasuke paused, and for some reason he had goosebumps on his arms.

“I trust him.”

Shizune was beaming at him, so Sasuke looked away.

“He understands. With him, it’s like I become someone else. Parts of me that kind of died after the fire are coming back, and… That feels good.”

She tried to hide the amazement on her face. How could Sasuke have changed so much in such a short amount of time? What happened to the brooding teen who would hardly look her in the eye out of stubbornness, who raged against the world and held his heart in a cage?

“He sounds like a wonderful guy.”

“He’s stupid and clumsy. He doesn’t clean up after himself and eats too much,” Sasuke quickly snapped back. “He’s stubborn and way too hyper. His sense of fashion is pathetic. I practically have to pick his clothes out for him.”

“Wow, Sasuke…” Shizune sighed, tilting her head at him. “You got it bad.”

“I-!” Sasuke found himself getting perturbed, so he settled himself, resting his forehead in his hand and shaking his head. There was no point in denying it.

Shizune chuckled to herself for a few seconds, and Sasuke tried not to blush.

“He’s going through a really hard time,” Sasuke mumbled. “I’m worried about him.”

“Sasuke, I know your standards must be high. If he’s stood up to your tests, I’m sure he’s very strong. After all, he helped you through your stuff, right?”

Sasuke nodded.

“Just be there for him, like he was there for you. And I’m sure, together, you can face it.”

As they had faced everything that came their way, time after time. He knew that they could face anything together. And they would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, I've gotten it out there!
> 
> It's been kind of rough lately, and I got a nasty case of writer's block. The next chapters won't be so late.
> 
> Sasuke and Naruto are such champs. Even I am proud of them.


	62. Chapter 62

Itachi cranked up the heat as their car quickly gained altitude. Sasuke waited until Itachi was done to fiddle with the radio on the car's console, starting up a mix CD he had made. The car was beginning to smell distinctly like pine, traveling up the windy mountain road. They passed another large patch of muddy white.

"Oh my God, it's more snow!" came an eager voice from the backseat.

Sasuke supposed that he couldn't blame Naruto. After all, this was Sasuke and Itachi's very late present to Naruto for his eighteenth birthday. Naruto's birthday was in early October, but for this specific present, they'd need to wait for colder weather. Sasuke could hardly believe it when Naruto admitted once, in casual conversation, that he had never seen snow before. He supposed it made sense, given that Naruto had never really had many resources, but still, snow was only two hours away by car. The mountains there, rugged and covered with rock and pine, reached up to eleven thousand feet, causing the temperature to plummet.

Itachi's GPS informed Sasuke that they were only about four thousand feet above sea level. The roads were more winding than they were steep, so it would probably take them at least another half hour until they hit the thick, fluffy snow Sasuke had promised Naruto. Unfortunately, this meant listening to Naruto beg every time they ran into a patch of nasty mud slush for the past fifteen minutes. Of course, every patch of snow was just slightly more attractive than the last, renewing Naruto's vigor.

"Can we stop _this_ time?" Naruto asked.

Itachi rolled his eyes good-naturedly as he smiled at Sasuke. Itachi seemed to be much more patient with Naruto than Sasuke could ever be. At this point, Itachi had known Naruto for two years, so "you just haven't gotten sick of him yet" was no longer a valid excuse for Sasuke.

"No, we can't stop this time," Sasuke answered quarrelsomely. "This is just slush."

Naruto pouted, sitting up on his shins for a better view, his breath misting against the window.

"Can't we just stop for a few seconds? Look, we can pull over there," Naruto insisted before pointing to a small patch of mud next to a precipitous drop. "I just want to touch it."

"You'll have plenty of snow when we get to the top," Itachi reassured him patiently.

The seat squeaked noisily as Naruto bounced up and down. Sasuke found his enthusiasm rather daunting, though Itachi couldn't help but find it endearing.

"I can't believe it! I can't believe I getta see snow today!"

Sasuke sighed, smiling slightly and reclining his seat. Itachi's new slate Audi was comfortable, leather seating supporting his back nicely. Itachi's Toyota had broken down last year, but with the salary of a magna cum laude UCLA attorney, replacing it was no great challenge.

Naruto had offered to use his car to take them up to the mountaintop. It was a kind offer, but given that this car was almost as old as Sasuke and had a few more miles than any automobile ever should, the Uchiha brothers politely declined. Naruto had worked all through school and the summers to afford it. It fortunately wasn't dilapidated to the point of being unsafe, though it had broken down three months ago on the way to school. Luckily, Sasuke's first period teacher had been understanding.

Naruto made a big show out of driving Sasuke to school. On his way to Sasuke's house, Naruto overshot the school by several miles, but he couldn't have his lover riding the school bus, after all. While the senior found Naruto's "Hey, hot stuff, need a lift?" comments occasionally annoying, he didn't feel too self-conscious about his lack of wheels. He'd raised enough money tutoring and working summer jobs to easily pay off a car, but he was saving all of his money for college tuition.

And it was partially a display of possession, as well. The fact that Sasuke had been taken since sophomore year didn't change the fact that he was one of Konoha's most sought after students. Naruto wouldn't be letting the student body forget just who had brought Sasuke to school every single damned day of the school year, and who would bring him home. That's right. Uzumaki Naruto.

The two of them had been fortunate. Iruka hadn’t planned on taking anyone in, at least not for the long term. But Iruka watched the way Naruto panicked and isolated himself when he first entered his home.

Over a period of weeks, Iruka managed to bring Naruto out of his shell. It wasn’t sudden; it was a gradual process with setbacks and peaks. Naruto grew entirely comfortable around Iruka, though they did tend to rub each other the wrong way at times and end up squabbling. Still, they connected in a way that Iruka had connected with no other foster child.

Iruka had been onboard with Naruto and Sasuke's relationship from the start. From the _very_ start, it turned out. Naruto and Sasuke had come to realize that no matter how sneaky they thought they were being, they were dead giveaways. No one could articulate exactly why, but it was as if it were written on their foreheads. It didn’t take long for both of them to stop caring about that.

Iruka had been reluctant to allow Naruto to spend time with Sasuke unattended. However, Naruto eventually reached a point with Iruka where he felt comfortable telling him about exactly how he met Sasuke and what happened from there. After additional input from Itachi, Iruka was a little more lenient when it came to "sleepovers."

Naruto's phone buzzed. He pulled it out to check who it was, as these days, it could be any one of dozens of people. Iruka. He'd texted Naruto, wanting to know if they'd gotten to their destination safely. The mountain roads were known for being a little treacherous at this time of year, which of course Iruka played up in his typically anxious mother hen manner.

"Almost there! Don't have an aneurysm!" Naruto texted back. He hoped that correctly spelling the word "aneurysm" would impress his father. He could thank Sasuke for teaching him that one.

"Iruka?" Sasuke asked dully.

Naruto nodded. It was the third time Iruka had texted him.

"He's going to give himself grey hair at this rate," Sasuke remarked.

"Yeah, really! I'm a legal adult now. He doesn't need to worry so much about me," Naruto said, sounding awfully proud of that fact.

"He has plenty reasons to worry about you, dipshit."

"Oh?" Naruto challenged, leaning forward to make sure Sasuke heard him. "Like what?"

"Like the fact that you're hopelessly clumsy and impulsive," Sasuke listed. "You don't pay attention to your surroundings. You-"

Naruto cut Sasuke off, "Oh please, you're just jealous that you're still a minor, and I'm an adult."

It had bothered Sasuke a little, though like hell he'd ever let Naruto know this. It was silly, after all. Nothing changed after Naruto's eighteenth birthday, but that didn't keep Sasuke from feeling just the slightest bit jealous that his boyfriend was a legal adult, and he was still, legally, a dependent.

"We're nine months apart, Naruto," Sasuke answered, rolling his eyes.

"Wait a second…"

Sasuke could practically hear the gears in Naruto's head turn as he consolidated his next thought.

"Does that like…make banging you illegal?" Naruto asked, looking to Itachi for confirmation.

Sasuke would have felt like retreating into his shell if he weren't already so accustomed to Naruto's indiscretions. Seriously, who in their right mind would ask someone if having sex with their ward was legal or not? His boyfriend, apparently. Well, to be fair, Itachi _was_ the only lawyer in the car.

"Technically?" Itachi asked, cocking his head backward for confirmation. He saw Naruto nod in his rear view mirror. "Yes, Sasuke's jailbait, I'm afraid."

"Seriously?!" Naruto squawked, almost dropping his phone. Itachi tried not to laugh. Sasuke cringed inwardly, not appreciating being referred to as "jailbait."

" _Technically_ ," Itachi clarified. "But there's no precedent in this country for convicting someone when the age difference is that minimal. Someone would have to press charges, and even then, the case would almost certainly be dropped."

"Phew!" Naruto answered, holding his hand to his forehead theatrically. "Guess the thug life just isn't for me."

Sasuke huffed at Naruto's choice of words. He'd never heard him use the phrase "thug life" before meeting his friends, and it sounded beyond unnatural and awkward coming from Naruto.

"I think you've been listening to Suigetsu a little too much."

Naruto had had the privilege of meeting all of Sasuke's friends, both the new and the old. Suigetsu had just gotten out of juvie last year. He never went back to school, as he'd passed his GED while incarcerated. He did, at the very least, have a high school education to his name now, and his record had been wiped clean on his eighteenth birthday. Suigetsu wasn't enrolled in college and didn't currently have much direction, doing construction jobs to pay his folks some rent and have some spending cash. At least he was staying out of trouble.

No one had heard from Kabuto in the past year, although he had apparently apologized to Karin at some point for landing her boyfriend in juvie and told Karin to deliver Sasuke an apology as well. That didn't go far with Sasuke, however, who wasn't too keen on giving people like Kabuto second chances. Sasuke ran into Deidara at the mall once, who told Sasuke that Kabuto was now much better at staying out of jail. Of course, that didn't mean he'd stopped committing criminal offenses. On the contrary, he was allegedly even more active than ever. While juvie seemed to have straightened Suigetsu out, jail just taught Kabuto new tricks. Whatever the case, Sasuke didn't give a shit about what Kabuto chose to do with his life. The less he knew, the better.

Karin had graduated last year as well. She was currently attending the local community college to learn medical coding. She insisted that this choice had nothing to do with Sasuke's career prospects, though Naruto was a little skeptical of this. Karin and Suigetsu, perhaps remarkably, were still a couple. Sasuke didn't frequently encounter Suigetsu and Karin during their daily routines, but that didn't keep Sasuke and Naruto from hanging out with them occasionally. Naruto had made a very interesting first impression on Sasuke's two friends, to say the least, and they appreciated Naruto's presence.

However, much more frequently, Sasuke and Naruto visited Juugo. In fact, if Juugo hadn't had a midterm coming up this Monday, he would have joined them on this trip. Juugo had passed his exit exam last year, graduating along with Karin and Suigetsu. He was majoring in English, of all things, dyslexia be damned. Sasuke tutored him several times a week, and usually Naruto sat around to learn what he could. That, along with Juugo's specialty tutor, set him on track.

Juugo's goal was to become a teacher for kids with special needs. With Juugo's patient disposition and surprisingly big heart, Sasuke knew that this would be a good fit for him. Juugo's college coursework was challenging for him, so he'd been going through an emotional slump the past couple months. Still, Juugo was determined to succeed. If Naruto could adapt to high school, Juugo figured, he could adapt to college.

Not a single member of Sasuke's old clique still went to school with him. Upon returning for school for the second semester of sophomore year, it had only been Sasuke, Naruto, and Karin. Sakura was the first member of his old social group to reach out to Sasuke. At her request, he brought Naruto and even Karin to eat with the lot of them at lunch. Even Sakura and Karin were able to make amends, much to Sasuke's bewilderment. He wondered if this had something to do with the fact that Sasuke was unavailable now regardless.

Naruto was loud and extroverted, bridging the gap between Sasuke and his old friends, who were more than a little sore at Sasuke for the thoughtless and delinquent behavior he'd exhibited over the past year. The reconciliation did require Sasuke to swallow his pride and give some explanations and make apologies, which Sasuke was only able to do after some serious encouragement from Naruto and Sakura. Now their lunch table seated nearly a dozen people. Sakura, Shikamaru, Gaara, Neji, Kiba, Chouji, Lee… And that was just off the top of his head. The group managed to be big while still feeling cozy, and Naruto and Sasuke both felt as though they truly belonged.

Of course, none of these people knew Naruto's secret. They didn't know that Naruto had been ever homeless, and they didn't know how Naruto got those scars on his face. The official story was that Naruto enrolled at Konoha after Naruto's foster family in Bakersfield sent him out to Iruka due to money issues. The only ones who knew were Sasuke, Itachi, Juugo, and Iruka, and Naruto was quite content to keep it that way. As much as his personality favored being an open book, some things he just couldn't handle people, even close friends, knowing. He projected a certain image at school: cheerful, energetic, outgoing, and a little spacey. He didn't want that being questioned.

Sasuke glanced over at Naruto, who was already putting on his gloves and scarf. There was no way he needed them at this time. He was just being overly eager. Naruto leaned his face on the window, which now had reached the temperature of ice.

"It's freezing!" Naruto chirped.

Sasuke glanced over at the car's console to look at the outside temperature. It was nineteen degrees Fahrenheit, below freezing point by a good margin.

"It's nineteen out, Naruto," Sasuke told him. He knew that Naruto had been keeping a close eye on that number, which was quite the novelty for him. Naruto would get a kick out of that.

"That's the coldest weather I've ever been in in my life!"

Naruto hadn't technically been _in_ it, as he hadn't left the car since their pit stop at a local diner about forty minutes ago. However, Sasuke wouldn't draw attention to this fact, as it would certainly result in more requests to pull over.

"Are we gonna make a snowman?" Naruto asked expectantly, rubbing his gloved hands together.

Sasuke and Itachi had made a snowman every time they came up to the mountains. The last time they had ever gone was with their parents. Sasuke wondered what would happen to his mood on this trip, but he was actually staying pretty level. After all, it was difficult to feel too gloomy with someone as cheerfully enthusiastic and curious as Naruto around. He was distracting.

"Of course we're going to make a snowman," Sasuke told him.

"Heh," Naruto answered simply, a wide grin on his face.

They'd brought toboggans as well, one of which could fit two people. One of these was from Juugo, and another was from one of Itachi's classmates. They didn't have a problem loaning them a few items, as almost no one in southern California would use such things frequently.

They were gaining even more elevation, at almost five thousand feet. There were now actually patches of pure white rather than that disgusting muddy slush they'd been passing. It still looked more like solid, packed ice though. Naruto literally crammed his face on the window. They were on a very narrow two-way street, with one lane for each direction of traffic. Sasuke wondered if the seldom cars passing them in the opposite direction would be getting a good view of Naruto's smashed nose.

"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said the snow would get better!" Naruto said, looking back at Sasuke. "Are we there yet?"

"Yes, get out of the car," Sasuke answered dryly.

Naruto ignored Sasuke's jab.

"How many more minutes?"

"Probably about fifteen," Itachi told him.

Naruto knew he was being childish, but he couldn't help it. He'd heard about snow from so many people and so many places. It seemed to be something just about everyone had experienced, other than him. He'd always been curious about how snow felt, and the explanation "like crushed ice" never satisfied him. He'd been expecting this trip for _seven weeks_ , when Sasuke had placed a fake voucher coupon in Naruto's birthday card. He felt like his car's radio was intentionally taunting him every time it played the song "White Christmas."

Naruto thought that the voucher coupon was adorable, and it didn't seem like something the ever-so-practical Sasuke would produce by himself. It even had a little drawing of a snowman on it. Sasuke had probably gotten some input from a friend, but it didn't change the fact that the gesture was genuine. Sasuke generally had to get a lot of advice from people, come holidays like Valentine's Day and anniversaries.

Still, Naruto appreciated the fact that Sasuke at least put in the effort. Knowing that Naruto certainly _was_ a romantic, Sasuke thought it was a worthwhile endeavor. Currently, Naruto was looking forward to Christmas, so Sasuke knew he would have to figure something out. He couldn't have Naruto showing him up again like he had their first Christmas.

Naruto had filled the car with chatter about what they'd do once they got up to the top, all the times he'd seen snow on TV, and how he was just _dying_ with curiosity. He thanked Sasuke and Itachi again, profusely. He continued to bounce up and down in his leather seat as Sasuke sipped on his coffee. The insulated cup had kept it nice and hot. He would have offered some to Naruto, but caffeine was one of the _last_ things he wanted Naruto consuming right now.

Naruto actually had mellowed out over the past couple years. He wasn't as spastic as he used to be when Sasuke met him, and his social skills had improved. Being around kids his age so frequently had helped him with that.

Sasuke's personality had actually gone in the opposite direction, if ever so slightly. Having so many active friendships, as well as Naruto's cajoling, brought Sasuke out of his shell by just a little bit. He was becoming a little more outgoing, though there was a certain level of aloofness that was just inherent in Sasuke's personality. He genuinely did like the people he hung out with at school. And while Naruto had generally managed to tone down a little of his excess spunk, today was a special occasion.

The snow was becoming denser. Now, it appeared that it had actually had to be plowed out of the road, a wall of about two feet on either side of the car. This excited Naruto so much that Sasuke wondered if Naruto might actually piss himself. Finally, Itachi found their familiar parking space. It was packed down with muddy white snow, wood planks framing the parking areas.

"It hasn't changed a bit," Itachi remarked idly, with a nostalgic sigh.

Sasuke nodded, remembering putting on his boots by their car at the age of twelve, his mother scolding him for not wearing a scarf. Yet he found that the memories brought him more joy than they did sadness. It had been three years since his parents' death, and slowly, he was healing.

Itachi turned into their parking space now, putting the car in park.

"Now, we put on our…" Itachi told the boys.

"Voucher redeemed!" Naruto shouted, placing the voucher Sasuke had made him on the backseat. Naruto had seriously brought that with him? Naruto's car door swung open, Naruto sprinting into the deep, fluffy white snow and falling on his face as he tripped over a concealed tree root. He got up again, laughing and slamming himself on his back, making snow angels.

"…Boots," Itachi finished, sounding rather defeated.

Sasuke and Itachi watched Naruto manically run through the snow back and forth, alternating between packing snowballs and aiming them at random trees and making more snow angels. They could even hear Naruto shouting through the car doors. "Snow! Snoooooow!" Naruto was going to have wet socks now, but fortunately Sasuke had had the foresight to tell Naruto to pack extra.

"I'm pretty sure people on crack are calmer than that," Sasuke sighed, watching Naruto's antics from the car window.

"But you wouldn't know about that, would you?" Itachi answered casually.

Sasuke, sadly, actually _had_ seen people react to that substance, so he was quickly regretting his remark. He'd attended a few too many wild parties in freshman and early sophomore year. Sasuke merely sighed, hoping that Itachi would just dismiss it, as it was a rather common comparison to make.

Sasuke noted that Naruto had left his cell phone in the back seat in his hurry. Sasuke picked it up and began texting Iruka.

"We made it. Naruto is too busy making snow angels to talk. –S"

The phone quickly buzzed in response. Iruka must've been waiting for this text.

"Thanks for the update, Sasuke! Have fun!"

Sasuke grabbed his boots out of the back seat, opening the car door so he could hang his feet out and put them on. Shit, it was _cold_. It had been years since Sasuke had been out in this kind of weather. It was six degrees out. He wouldn't allow his teeth to chatter, covered in goosebumps now. He was too prideful, and he refused to complain. Initially, the sensation of cold on Sasuke's body had demanded most of his attention, but as he adjusted, he noticed the scent of pine and the quiet whipping of the wind. The sky was overcast.

Itachi followed suit, putting on his boots and a thick windbreaker over his sweater. Itachi could handle the cold well now; he'd made a full recovery. Sasuke did the same, adjusting his black scarf and beanie, which Sasuke actually pulled off pretty well. Both of them were ready to leave in several minutes. Itachi and Sasuke trudged out in the snow.

"Time to rein in your boyfriend before he gets himself sick."

Sasuke grunted, approaching Naruto, who was just close enough to be within yelling distance.

"Come here, you idiot! You didn't put your boots on."

Naruto, who already had snow in his hair and all over his body, shook his head, the fluffy pieces of snow falling to the ground.

"Awww. But do I really need them?"

Naruto's shoulders slumped, but at least he stopped moving for a moment.

"Do you want to be able to feel your own feet?" Sasuke asked irksomely as he stopped moving towards Naruto, waiting for his lover's return.

"Eh… I don't really care."

Naruto tended to be very tolerant of cold and heat. This seemed to be the case even in these temperatures. Really, it was no wonder why.

"Just get over here," Sasuke snapped.

"What's in it for me?" Naruto teased, stretching out that last word playfully.

"You live."

"Come on, what're you gonna do? Count to ten?"

"I won't have sex with you for the rest of the month."

Naruto was silent, glancing at Sasuke appraisingly. Naruto wondered if this would have punished himself or Sasuke more severely. Regardless, he knew by now not to call Sasuke on his threats. He sighed, reluctantly walking over to Sasuke. Itachi unlocked the car for them, and Naruto sat in the passenger seat, taking off his sneakers. His socks were already drenched, so Sasuke got both his boots and a new pair of socks for him.

"Didn't I tell you?" Sasuke picked at him.

Even though their personalities couldn't be more different, Sasuke _still_ reminded Naruto of Iruka at times.

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry, _Mom_."

Naruto couldn't deny, however, that it felt nice to get his wet socks off of his feet and replace them with new dry ones, which felt much warmer against Naruto's ice cold feet. Naruto struggled to get his boots on, so Sasuke gave them an extra tug in the back to help him along. Naruto gave Sasuke a grateful smile. Naruto's scarf had become undone in his frenzied antics, so Sasuke tied it for him. He finally placed a snow cap on Naruto's head, making sure that his ears, now reddened by the cold, were covered by the garment.

Naruto blushed, feeling oddly pampered and cared for. He glanced over at Itachi, who had begun building a miniature snowman by his feet as he sat on a distant tree stump. Sasuke leaned forward, kissing Naruto gently. Their lips were cold, as were their cheeks, but their mouths were still just as warm. When Sasuke stopped kissing him and moved away, Naruto moved forward and kissed Sasuke again. Naruto was barely stifling a moan. They couldn't get too carried away here, so Sasuke placed his hand on Naruto's chest, separating himself.

"It's not like crushed ice, ya know," Naruto said absently.

"Only crappy snow is like crushed ice," Sasuke explained. "It happens at the end of the season, when the snow melts in the day and gets refrozen at night."

"Oh, okay!" Naruto nodded, taking in the information. He wanted to know all about snow.

"This is more like…" Naruto stopped to think, a dopey grin on his face. He looked like the stereotypical prepubescent schoolgirl describing a crush. "Like the best snow cone I ever had. Soft and kinda airy."

Sasuke couldn't help but smile, even if only mildly, at Naruto's joy. Naruto wasn't a morose guy by any stretch, but it was rare to see him so genuinely and intensely happy.

"You're all set now. Want to make a snowman?" Sasuke offered.

Although it had seemed impossible, Naruto's smile grew even more.

"Hell. Yes."

It had been years since Sasuke had made a snowman. He didn't think that he'd care much either way. Really, who cares? A snowman serves no practical purpose. You go to the trouble to pack all the snow, roll it up into spheres, stack them on top of each other, do something or another to decorate the face, maybe snap a picture with your phone, then leave it there. But something about Naruto's enthusiasm was infectious, and even Sasuke found himself getting impatient to get out there and get to work.

They began to walk away from the parking space now, navigating through a thick patch of trees.

"If you're done messing around over there," Sasuke yelled out to Itachi, who was still tending to the pint-sized snow creature by his feet, "We're going to be over here making a _real_ snowman."

Itachi wandered up to them leisurely, the three of them walking a bit farther through the trees until finding a large patch of white snow. For whatever reason, not many trees had grown there. Even the hills were purely coated with white powder. Not many people knew about this spot. It had always been the Uchiha family's stop. The car was out of sight.

Sasuke scanned the area, looking for an area that would be out of their way after when they would toboggan. He pointed to the area, and by the time Itachi caught up, Naruto and Sasuke were rolling up the base of the snowman.

"Like this?" Naruto asked.

"Yes, but you have to pack it," Sasuke answered, compressing the snow with his large black glove. At the age of seventeen, he'd finally begun to grow into those large hands of his. He was still growing, however, and he'd probably breach six feet soon.

Naruto helpfully packed whatever areas Sasuke couldn't quite get to, characteristically eager to help. Both of them were on their knees, working close to the ground. Itachi had already begun to roll another snowball for the middle of the snowman.

Sasuke glanced down at Naruto, reminded of how Naruto used to insist on helping him clean up at the soup kitchen and pick up garbage in the park. That same earnest expression was on his face, but Naruto looked much different now. He was stronger, taller, and most certainly older. Sitting this close to him, Sasuke could see that he had just the slightest bit of stubble and would soon be due for a shave. Sasuke would remind him to shave soon. With proper nourishment, Naruto's body had launched through puberty. He no longer looked like a boy, but at the age of eighteen, was that really such a surprise?

In fact, much to Sasuke's chagrin, Naruto actually looked a good bit older than he did. Sasuke still had that damned baby face… Sasuke's features seemed so perfectly placed and formed, almost petite, despite his broad muscles and his height. It would probably be with him for his entire life, but at least that might not be such an unfortunate trait come his late twenties.

Still, currently, it was something of a hindrance. Naruto honestly thought that Sasuke's face was beautiful, though he knew better than to admit such a thing. Sasuke's youthful looks certainly brought their fair share of teasing from Naruto, though Sasuke was _still_ a couple inches taller than Naruto.

"This should be big enough," Sasuke announced.

Naruto practically sprinted over to Itachi, who had already completed the smaller lump for the midsection. Itachi rolled it over to the snowman, and Sasuke helped him lift it up. Itachi and Sasuke both began to pack a little snow between the base and the midsection of the snowman to reinforce it.

"This is to keep it from falling over," Itachi explained to Naruto.

Naruto stood back and watched the brothers build, concentrating for a moment as he took in the sizes and dimensions of the snowballs. They'd gotten the base and body awfully round. Without all of that packing and reinforcing, it probably wouldn't have been very stable. Naruto began to excitedly work on the snowman's head, humming to himself. Sasuke glanced over his shoulder at Naruto, a fleeting smile on Sasuke's face which even Sasuke didn't notice.

Naruto now started to pack the snow while Sasuke and Itachi sat on their shins, resting and waiting for Naruto to finish. Naruto seemed to be taking this very seriously, hard at work.

"Is this a good size?" Naruto asked, sounding very eager for praise.

"It's perfect," Itachi confirmed.

Naruto glanced over at Sasuke, silently and excitedly awaiting his input. Sasuke nodded, his padded hands giving Naruto a thumbs up sign. Naruto grinned at them rather vapidly for a few seconds, pleased by his success.

"Are you going to bring it over here any time soon?" Sasuke asked impatiently.

Naruto seemed to jerk to attention.

"I was getting to that!" came Naruto's prickly response.

He was able to carry the head over. He placed it on top of the snowman's body, dead center. He packed it a little bit with some snow. The brothers let Naruto take over.

"So, got any ideas for the name?" Naruto inquired.

"We're naming it?" Itachi responded curiously.

Sasuke, however, wasn't surprised. Of _course_ Naruto wanted to name it. Naruto wanted to name everything, even the spider he found in Sasuke's bathroom last weekend. She went by Charlotte formally, but around close friends such as Naruto, Charl would suffice.

"Of course! Don't you guys name your snowmans?"

The brothers would be kind and not tease Naruto for how awkward the word "snowmans" sounded. The word "snowman" _was_ unfamiliar to Naruto, after all.

"No," Sasuke revealed. "We didn't."

Naruto seemed awestruck by this revelation.

"What… I thought you guys knew about making snowmans!" Naruto shouted, gesturing to the two passionately. He was the only one of them still standing. From Sasuke's point of view, he saw Itachi fighting back a snicker as Naruto used the word "snowmans" yet again. "How can you know about making snowmans if you don't even _name_ them!"

"Of course _you'd_ want to name a lump of snow."

Naruto tsk'd, on the brink of dishing back an insult.

"What did you want to name him, Naruto?" Itachi asked, interfering before the two younger men had the chance to squabble.

Itachi had the patience of a saint.

"Don't know yet," Naruto answered, not even pausing to consider his response. "I can't know until we make his face."

"Ah," Itachi answered, as if this had been glaringly obvious all along.

The body of the snowman was ready. Now all they needed to do was accessorize.

Naruto took in the snowman's body structure before announcing, "Okay! Face!"

He sprinted off, gathering twigs and pebbles. Sasuke sighed, taking a seat in the snow as Naruto darted from one brown patch of mud to the other, digging for stones. He placed them in his jacket pockets, which were now beginning to sag. Sasuke glanced up at the sky, thick grey clouds beginning to form. Sasuke wondered if the day's weather forecast would be accurate; he could only hope.

Itachi likewise plopped in the snow, yawning as he perused his text messages. The brothers figured that now would be an apt time for a break, as Naruto seemed to have no trouble gathering materials. Besides, Itachi was mentally fatigued from that long drive. The roads were windy, sometimes with dramatic drops on one or both sides of the car. Sasuke lazily watched Naruto, who every now and again let out a loud "Hah!" or a "Perfect!" A happy Naruto wasn't all that difficult to come by, but it had been quite some time since Sasuke had seen him _this_ happy.

Naruto came back a couple minutes with a bunch of sticks and four pockets full of rocks – two pockets from his jacket and two from his pants. Stopping in front of the snowman, Naruto reached down his hand to help Sasuke up. Sasuke accepted, and Naruto hoisted him up.

"Lazy!" Naruto chided as he handed the sticks to Sasuke.

Itachi stayed seated, watching Sasuke break one of the twigs so that both were of equal length. Two people were surely enough to decorate this snowman, but he'd be around to give his input regardless. Sasuke stuck one stick on either side of the snowman's body as Naruto placed pebble "buttons" up his middle section.

Naruto stood back, staring at the snowman for a while with his chin balanced between his thumb and forefinger. He contemplated for a while longer until tentatively placing two evenly sized pebbles for the snowman's eyes. Naruto dug several unevenly sized pebbles in to form the snowman's mouth, which came out looking rather sloppy and lopsided. Naruto sighed in frustration, clearly displeased with the product.

"Let me try," Sasuke offered. He cleared the pebbles off of the snowman's face, covering the resulting pits with new snow from the ground. He picked up the remains of one of the twigs, and traced a small smile over the snow. "I always do an outline first."

Sasuke placed one pebble on each end of the mouth, offering Naruto more pebbles to fill in the area between.

"Seven of them should do it," Itachi said, trying to be helpful where he could. "Three on each side and one in the middle."

Sasuke and Naruto went through the pebbles in Sasuke's hand, trying to find seven that were approximately the same size. Itachi smiled at the image of both boys staring down at Sasuke's large palm, one occasionally moving a rock to the side. Despite the fact that Sasuke was nearly an adult and would graduate from high school within months, sometimes all Itachi could see when he looked at Sasuke was his kid brother.

They finished the mouth, and at last, it the time came for the nose. Naruto tried a particularly large stone, encrusting it in the center of the snowman's face.

"Looks like Elmo," Sasuke observed.

Naruto didn't seem too pleased with it either. Otherwise, even Sasuke didn't know if he could burst the kid's bubble.

"Something long…pointy…"

Naruto went through the small mound of items he'd collected while scavenging. Finally, Naruto seemed to have a revelation, cramming his hand underneath his coat to reach his thinner jacket's pocket and pulling out a ballpoint pen.

"The sacrificial lamb," Naruto announced solemnly, making a spectacle of slowly raising the pen up in his two upturned palms. "To create life, one must sacrifice. All that is good comes with sacrifice."

Sasuke cast Naruto a very strange look, then gazed back at Itachi, who merely shook his head in secondhand embarrassment. Sasuke took a seat by Itachi, quietly observing the theatrics. Naruto very slowly poked the pen into the snowman's face, writing side facing outward.

"It has come to be!" Naruto remarked loudly, pointing at the snowman dramatically. "And now, the christening!"

"For God's…" Sasuke began, rolling his eyes.

"All are silent at the christening!" Naruto interrupted. "Show your respect!"

Naruto picked up a long stick that remained, tapping one side of the snowman's body, where the shoulder should be.

"I pronounce you…"

Naruto seemed to be deep in thought, taking a little extra time before tapping the stick on the other side of the snowman.

"Is this supposed to be a knighting or a wedding now?" Sasuke mumbled under his breath, only to have Itachi quickly whack him upside the head out of Naruto's vision.

"Frank!"

Naruto began to clap, though neither brother joined him. Itachi did, however, give a respectful nod.

"What now?" Naruto asked, squinting as he looked at their supplies.

"Now? Now I have some business to attend to by that grove of pine trees," Itachi answered, pointing to a distant and secluded section of the mountain.

"Huh?" Naruto asked, cocking his head and tilting his eyebrow dramatically.

Sasuke huffed, rolling his eyes at Naruto, who seemed to have a moment of revelation.

"Oh, I get it! You're taking a piss!"

Sasuke wasn't sure whether the petite smile taking his older brother's face issued from embarrassment or amusement. It was likely a mixture of both. Sasuke groaned inwardly.

"Dude, you should totally write your name in the snow!" Naruto chimed in.

"I'll consider," Itachi answered appeasingly, flicking a wave as he walked into the denser area of vegetation.

Itachi's footsteps grew fainter as he walked away from them. The moment they became inaudible, Naruto glanced at Sasuke wearing what Sasuke had come to regard as "the look," raising his eyebrows a couple times.

"No."

"C'mon, Sasuke," Naruto weedled, edging into Sasuke and holding his hand.

"How long can it take to take a piss?" Sasuke responded, angling his body away from Naruto. "He'll be back any second."

"So? We'll hear him before he can see us. Clothes stay on."

White mist left Sasuke's mouth as he huffed. He supposed that this was true. This was the first time they'd been alone all day.

"Just kiss me," Naruto told Sasuke with half of a smile, leaning into his body and pressing his lips close to Sasuke's.

It wasn't that Sasuke's willpower was forsaking him. He was merely capitalizing on an opportunity, which just so happened to be pressed up against him, its hot breath soothing his cold, pale lips. There was only a sliver of space between the two men's lips, and so Sasuke moved forward just as Naruto did. Their lips met, and quickly after came their tongues.

The cold air bit their cheeks, but it was so warm between their mouths. As they parted, just momentarily, for air, the cold hit the saliva on Sasuke's lips. It only made Sasuke more eager to unite with Naruto's warmth, which now became heat when contrasted with their freezing surroundings. Although Sasuke had been in snow before, he was still unfamiliar with temperatures this low.

Naruto's gloved hand, dusted just slightly in snow, ventured under Sasuke's jackets. Instinctively, Sasuke flinched, his abs clenching upwards at the cold applied to his warm stomach. Sasuke's eyes opened quickly, as he only now realized that they'd been shut. His stomach relaxed as it became accustomed, and even accepting, of Naruto's hand.

Sasuke cast his gaze across the snow-covered mountaintop as Naruto bit at Sasuke's earlobe, tugging on his horseshoe earring, spikes on each end. It was cold. Sasuke had only gotten his ears pierced about half a year ago. Sasuke gave a pleased smirk, keeping his eyes on the area Itachi had disappeared to. In front of Sasuke proudly stood the snowman, Frank. He was visible to Sasuke as Naruto kissed him again, Naruto's back to their creation.

But Sasuke's eyes lingered on Frank. Frank's nondescript, pupil-less pebble eyes seemed to be staring everywhere and nowhere all at once. Sasuke tried to ignore it, but the more he tried to look away, the more he felt as if he were being watched. As Naruto moaned, Sasuke glanced over at Frank, that same smile on Frank's perfectly round face as he stood. Stood, smiled, and watched.

It was only now that Sasuke began to realize that Frank was a little bit creepy. It was a little ridiculous, admittedly, but Sasuke was finding it difficult to get into the mood now. Obviously clueless, Naruto moaned and kissed down Sasuke's neck, biting the flesh there as Sasuke scaled his hand down Naruto's back. Sasuke couldn't help but feel, in some distant, neglected portion of his brain, like Frank was judging them.

There was only one way to fix this. As Naruto caressed Sasuke's chest and neck, Sasuke smirked, staring directly at Frank, and proudly displayed his middle finger, completely out of Naruto's view and over the sound of his moaning. Sasuke felt his reservations drift away at his small victory, lifting Naruto's chin up before kissing him just a little more hungrily, if only to spite Frank. Silly? Perhaps. But Sasuke wasn't to blame. It was the high altitude messing with his brain.

But now Sasuke heard Itachi's footsteps, approaching from the distance. Naruto seemed to hear them as well, pausing and chuckling sheepishly as he separated from Sasuke.

Itachi quickly came close, walking briskly.

"What took so long?" Naruto asked with a grin. He so knew it. Itachi was totally writing his name in the snow.

"Who knows?" Itachi teased, flashing the two of them a wicked smile. "What were you two doing while I was gone?"

One veiled accusation to match another.

"Uh…" Naruto answered quickly. "Admiring Frank?"

"Uh huh," Itachi answered, with that "who are you fooling" expression on his face that Sasuke had memorized over the years. In reality, Sasuke assumed that Itachi had chosen to take his time to give him a little time alone with Naruto, given that this was for his birthday. He was very silently appreciative, Itachi joining them now.

"You up for tobogganing, Naruto?" Itachi asked, grabbing the single-person toboggan and leaning against it.

Naruto looked like he was a hair away from pissing himself.

"Let's do this."

Itachi and Sasuke scouted the area, searching for their familiar path, one free of trees. As a family, they'd always slide down this hill. Sasuke remembered being young, only going up to just above his mother's hip. This was the first time Sasuke had ever gone tobogganing. She placed him in her lap and wrapped her arms around him, protecting him. As they gained speed, she began to laugh, and so did Sasuke, giggling as they zipped down the hill together.

Thus began the long trek up the hill. Itachi held his single-person toboggan, while Sasuke and Naruto carried the double-person toboggan up jointly. Both had attempted to carry it single-handedly. Naruto claimed that he did this only out of chivalry, to which Sasuke responded that it was only fair for the strongest party member to carry the toboggan. This was, surprisingly, poorly received, and Itachi was forced to intervene with a compromise.

Itachi righted his toboggan at the top of the hill, staring down all the way at the bottom of the slope. Naruto and Sasuke were reaching the top, moving a little awkwardly as they shared the long toboggan. It would have been much simpler to have one person carry it.

"You're going first?" Naruto asked Itachi.

"Watch and learn, Naruto."

Itachi's toboggan flew down the slope. Naruto paused for a while to watch, letting out a low whistle.

"Look at him go…"

Itachi looked like he was having fun. Sasuke was glad. Naruto wasn't what Sasuke would call childish…well, not generally. But he did have a childlike eagerness that made everything seem fresher to people around him. It even made Sasuke feel younger. Although Sasuke hadn't been alive for a long time, he sometimes felt like a very old soul.

Naruto placed the toboggan down just as Itachi had, taking the front. Sasuke got in behind him, his legs on either side of him. Itachi had finally finished his descent, standing and waving at the two from the bottom of the hill.

"Ready for blast off, lieutenant?" Naruto called, glancing back at Sasuke.

"Just push off," Sasuke grunted.

Naruto began laughing as they started moving, quickly gaining speed as the snow on either side of their toboggan blurred white. The trees flew by them. Sasuke leaned his chin on Naruto's shoulder, the cold air biting his face. He didn't mind it. It was interesting, however, to be the one in the back. Naruto let out a loud whoop once they reached the bottom.

The three of them made several more runs. As they whipped down the hill for the fifth time, Naruto felt cold specks begin to hit his cheek, stinging on the way down. When the toboggan slowed, Naruto and Sasuke both stood up. Naruto peered directly up. Sasuke smiled. The weather forecast had been correct after all.

"Is it… Is it _snowing_?" Naruto asked, hardly able to curb his excitement.

Naruto opened his mouth, allowing a snowflake to fall on his tongue.

"What do you think, dumbass?" Sasuke teased, placing his hand out to catch a few snowflakes, which contrasted keenly with his black glove. He patted Naruto on the head condescendingly, ruffling his hair.

"Holy shit, it's snowing!"

This seemed to trigger Naruto every bit as much as originally finding the snow had. He ran in large circles, his arms outstretched and mouth wide open, trying to catch snowflakes in midair. Itachi soon joined them at the bottom of the hill, placing his smaller toboggan aside.

Sasuke could hardly recall the last time he saw Naruto like this. He wouldn't bother to rein Naruto in for some time now. It was probably best to let him tire himself out first. Itachi chuckled under his breath as he watched Naruto gallivant about the terrain. Sasuke glanced up at the clouds, watching snowflake after snowflake float down. It had been a while since he'd seen it snow himself. He let it fall on his black glove, inspecting the specks of white carefully.

Itachi's cell phone rang, the tune of a The White Stripes song dueling with Naruto's cries of joy for recognition. Itachi slid it out of his pocket quickly and glanced at the call ID.

"It's Sayuri."

That was Itachi's girlfriend, as of about eight months ago. Sasuke liked the woman…so far. He couldn't make a final judgment at this stage; it was too early to trust her. She seemed satisfactory, at the least. She was beautiful and very intelligent. Yet Sasuke would only want the best for his older brother.

"You better get that," Sasuke grunted.

Itachi nodded, answering the call and speaking with his girlfriend for a while before motioning to the general area where the car was. It was well out of sight now.

"This'll be a while. I'll warm up in the car."

Sasuke nodded. He didn't mind. Naruto was here, after all. Naruto zipped off to Sasuke as soon as he noticed Itachi leaving.

"Hey, where's he going?" Naruto asked, sounding a little disappointed. He was standing behind Sasuke.

"Sayuri called, so he's going to talk to her in the car to warm up."

Itachi walked around several trees, now out of view. Naruto draped his arms over Sasuke's shoulders, kissing his neck.

"This was the best birthday present of my life. Thanks."

"It was nothing," Sasuke answered casually. Yet his face still blushed just slightly, because he knew Naruto well enough to tell when he was exaggerating and when he wasn't. He knew that Naruto meant it.

Naruto turned Sasuke around to face him, kissing him gently. Sasuke's lips, which felt like they were about to become chapped in this cold breeze, slid against Naruto's gently. When their faces parted, Naruto was beaming at him.

"You look like such an idiot with that big smile of yours," Sasuke told him, rolling his eyes.

Sasuke had told him once that when he smiled in this way, scars and all, he looked strong. Naruto wouldn't let Sasuke fool him, smiling even wider.

"Okay, now you're creeping me out," Sasuke said as he took a step back, causing Naruto to laugh.

They had some time alone earlier together, but it was quick. For the first time today, they had substantial, uninterrupted time alone. Naruto sighed for a while, his brows scrunched.

"Hey, Sasuke…"

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you something?" Naruto inquired hesitantly.

Sasuke raised a brow, shifting his weight onto one foot. It wasn't like Naruto to ask for permission.

"Sure, but I can't promise an answer."

"I saw an envelope with Stanford's logo in your kitchen."

Sasuke took a deep swallow. He knew exactly what Naruto was talking about. He'd opened it with a knife, the cut neat and clean, before reading the contents. He tucked it under some other mail, but he hadn't anticipated that Naruto would be going into the kitchen today regardless. He had expected to bring this up to Naruto on his own time, after a bit more preparation.

"I see…"

He'd applied to Stanford in October. It was his first choice, and he'd applied during the earliest round. He only heard back from them yesterday. Stanford was about an eight hour drive north. It was no simple trek, and the tuition was expensive. There was only about a foot between them, as Sasuke had taken a single step backward after their kiss.

"What did it say?"

Sasuke frowned, watching the snowflakes settle on his lover's shoulder.

"Let's not talk about that now," Sasuke said as he glanced away. Sasuke moved to turn away, but Naruto braced his hand on his shoulder, holding him back.

"If that's on your account, okay. But don't hold back on my account," Naruto paused for a moment, placing his hand on Sasuke's shoulder. "I want to know."

Sasuke's brows knit, and he stared at Naruto a while before continuing. He hadn't been expecting to tell Naruto this until later. He didn't want Naruto fretting over it during their trip. Sasuke sat down in the snow, folding his legs as he wrapped his arms together for warmth. Naruto followed suit.

"I was accepted."

Naruto lagged for a bit before answering.

"Congratulations!" he answered, appearing to need some time to put on that happy face. "I shouldn't even be surprised."

Sasuke didn't even know why Naruto bothered trying to deceive him, after all of this time. He'd been able to read Naruto surprisingly well two months into their relationship. Two years in, there wasn't much Naruto could get past him.

"I might not go. It's expensive and far. It depends on..."

True, Itachi had repaid Sasuke's college fund, and Sasuke had saved some money on the side. Still, a sum of about $40,000 a year plus living expenses was nothing to sneeze at. The Uchiha household was well off, but it wasn't exactly _wealthy_. Without some serious financial aid and scholarships, Sasuke might just have to consider another school. Sasuke also didn't like being so far from his friends, from his _family_.

"This is such great news…" Naruto continued.

"Naruto," Sasuke said tiredly. "Shut up for a second and listen to me."

Naruto sighed, looking at Sasuke.

"There are a lot of other factors involved. I still don't know what scholarships I can get there or at other schools, or where I'll get in. So don't bet on it just yet."

Naruto nodded for a moment. The dilemma was clear. Naruto was a junior, one year behind Sasuke. He'd only been able to enter freshman year during spring semester the year he returned to school because of all of Sasuke's tutoring. Naruto's grades were surprisingly good, which he largely owed to his own hard work, with a little help from Sasuke. He had a solid 3.8 GPA. The smile faded from Naruto's face.

"Sasuke, when it comes to picking a college, don't let me bias you. You've worked too hard for too long to compromise."

Sasuke appreciated Naruto's selflessness. While he was clearly anxious about losing Sasuke over the distance, he would not allow Sasuke to give up his ambitions for him.

"'Sides," Naruto added with a shrug. "Even if you _do_ go to Stanford, or even Harvard or somethin', I'm sure there will be a good enough school for me to attend nearby. My grades aren't too shabby either, and I'm only graduating a year later."

Sasuke's eyes widened for just a moment.

"You'd follow me?"

"Didn't I tell ya, Sasuke?" Naruto answered, rocking back and forth on his feet. "You'll never get rid of me now."

"Naruto…" Sasuke frowned. "There's still that year we have to spend apart until you finish senior year. No matter where I go, we can see each other over breaks, but…"

Sasuke was graduating one year ahead of Naruto. They didn't know where Sasuke would attend college, but it certainly would be nowhere nearby. UCLA or Cal Tech would be the nearest locations, and even those took a couple hours of driving. Itachi was planning on moving to Los Angeles, where most of his work came from, and Sasuke would live in a dorm for freshman year at least. Whatever the case, Sasuke's living situation, and thus the dynamics of their relationship, would change this August.

Naruto gripped Sasuke's hand, their gloves pressed against each other. Naruto grinned wide, all the way back to his molars, eyes almost closed.

"C'mon, we made it through me being homeless, Itachi getting sick, you almost getting yourself killed by some psycho druggie dude, and foster care. You think we can't make it through one measly year of long distance?"

Naruto let out a jovial "heh," and it didn't seem entirely forced. Sasuke could see that Naruto was truly confident, confident that they would last despite distance, despite not being able to hold or touch each other. And after all, it was only about nine or ten months until Naruto could follow him wherever he went.

"You're the one I'm worried about, dumbass," Sasuke chided, though he certainly didn't have Naruto convinced. "You hardly know what to do with yourself when I'm not around."

"Hey, I lasted for a whole year on the streets. If I can do that…"

"Living off of Skittles?" Sasuke teased.

"Hell yeah," Naruto answered with full bravado. "That's how I roll."

"At least you finally know how to use Skype," Sasuke grunted.

It had taken Naruto a while to grasp the instant messaging platform, actually. He had a little trouble setting up his webcam.

"See? So there's nothing to worry about."

Sasuke would have known by now if Naruto was putting on a brave face for him. He wasn't. Naruto had faith. And if Naruto had faith, so could he.

"I suppose not," Sasuke admitted with a shrug.

The two of them were silent for a while, Naruto toying with a twig indecisively. There was no awkwardness in this situation.

"Though I see a lot of webcam sex in our future," Naruto stated, mischievously nudging Sasuke's upper arm.

Sasuke snickered, remembering all of the sexting they used to do the instant Iruka bought Naruto a cell phone. It had been rather awkward when Iruka had stumbled across one of their conversations, which Sasuke was sure Naruto would rather not be reminded of.

"I might have a roommate."

"And I'll be forever jealous of that son of a bitch," Naruto groaned.

"Maybe you should feel sorry for him instead," Sasuke replied with a small and sinister smile. After all, if Sasuke didn't like a person, it was glaringly obvious. Naruto laughed, leaning back as more snow dusted his shoulders.

"Maybe so."

Naruto smiled softly as he held his broad palm out, watching as snowflakes fell on his gloves.

"You know, it won't be too horribly long…"

"Hm?"

"Until I fall asleep with you and wake up with you beside me. Until it's like old times. We just have to get past this lump first."

Old times… They had almost come to take it for granted at the time. Now it just seemed like a distant dream. Naruto and Sasuke lived at their respective homes, just like any other high school couple, with their own guardians. Those two months existed in only their memories, as well as in the minds of Juugo, Itachi, and Iruka. It had been two years since then, and the thought of returning to that way of life, even if almost another two years later, was a hope so optimistic that Sasuke didn't know if he dared hold it.

Sasuke leaned against Naruto. Naruto's most difficult challenge these past two years had been acclimatizing to life without Sasuke and learning to trust Iruka. Sasuke didn't need anyone to depend on; he was just fine on his own. But Naruto had grown over these years. He'd become strong. Both of them had, really.

Sasuke leaned forward, kissing Naruto slowly. Against the harsh cold, their mouths felt so hot, tongues sliding against each other smoothly. They curled against each other, Naruto moving forward now and pushing Sasuke back, just slightly. Naruto moaned as their kiss became hungrier, tongues venturing farther back and beginning to lash against each other. They were amidst the luscious pines, snow falling down on them slowly.

Naruto pushed Sasuke down, straddling over his stomach as Sasuke finally rested, his back against the snow. What if Itachi came back? It was silent here. Even over moaning and panting, Sasuke was sure they could hear him coming far away. Sasuke was at a slight incline, his face just above his feet so that he could look down and survey the area. Naruto kissed Sasuke's cheek, his collarbone…

As Naruto kissed down Sasuke's neck, his lips felt so hot, the slightly bit of saliva quickly going cold against his soft skin. Sasuke didn't ordinarily let Naruto occupy this position, but he wasn't exactly keeping count here. Whoever was dominant ended up coming down to what kind of mood the two of them were in. Still, he was shocked when Naruto tugged at his jeans, unbuttoning them. Things were moving quickly.

"Aiming to freeze my dick off, Uzumaki?" Sasuke grunted.

"Heh," Naruto answered, sounding so characteristically awkward. "When we kissed, your mouth was so hot. I wondered what this would feel like…"

Naruto freed Sasuke's cock, now just slightly hard, and gave it a slow lick. The weather was painfully cold against the sensitive organ, but Naruto's tongue was so forgivingly and even arousingly hot in comparison.

"Don't worry," Naruto stated, more sure of himself now. "I'll keep you warm."

Sasuke shuddered, closing his eyes tightly, and Naruto reveled in the sight. It was painful, waiting out in the cold for Naruto to make his move.

"If you're going to do it, then do it," Sasuke ordered him. "It's too cold to wait."

Naruto didn't waste time. He took as much of Sasuke's length into his mouth as he could, sliding his warmed hand out of his glove and gripping the base to keep Sasuke warm. Naruto's saliva rapidly cooled, even as he slid his face up on Sasuke's cock.

Sasuke, still looking out for any sign of Itachi, grasped Naruto's blond hair, emitting a low moan. As lips quickly returned to the parts of Sasuke's flesh that had cooled, Naruto’s mouth seemed almost searing hot, the texture of his tongue and cheeks so pronounced against the sensitive flesh.

His cock shifted from cold to what seemed like steaming hot in comparison as Naruto moved, and Sasuke heard his boot digging into the powder snow. It didn't take much time for Sasuke to become fully erect, his panting breath misting in front of his face as snow fell onto Naruto's hair. Sasuke absentmindedly dusted it off. He felt his lower body begin to quake, and the fresh snow fell off of his thighs and stomach as he did so.

"Shit, Naruto…"

Naruto moaned against Sasuke's cock in affirmation. Itachi's conversations with his girlfriend tended to be long, perhaps a little longer than even Itachi would have preferred. But there was a growing chance that Itachi would return, and they would just have to pull themselves together in a split second.

"Nngh…"

Sasuke grasped Naruto's snow jacket hard, his hips bucking as he finally unleashed into Naruto's mouth. His body drained itself, diminishing spurts leaving him blissed and calm. His endorphins still ran quickly through his system, and gently, Naruto put Sasuke back together, zipping and buttoning his pants for him.

Sasuke felt as if he should be returning Naruto's kindness, but Naruto dragged himself up, lying beside Sasuke. Both of them were on their backs, light snow falling against their faces. Naruto had put his glove back on, one holding the other as they lay there, staring up at the clouds together. Naruto gave a quiet chuckle as a snowflake fell in his eyelashes, wiping it away. They lay there for several minutes now, both of the men calming.

"I'll miss you, though," Naruto admitted, his voice a little quieter.

"We've got a good nine months until then."

"So," Naruto grinned. "We'll make them count."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just two chapters left!
> 
> I've absolutely loved writing Soup. Out of curiosity, I looked at the word count, and it is actually longer than any Harry Potter book, as well as Ayn Rand's notoriously long Fountainhead.
> 
> I am current considering ideas for a new SasuNaru fic. If you would like to influence it, please take this survey. Use the comment field if you will; I'd really appreciate it!  
> https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/KJB8QMT
> 
> Back to Soup. I know a lot of people wanted to see Naruto adjust, bond with Iruka, and meet all of Sasuke's friends. There are so many moments in the time skip that I would love to portray, so I will be creating a separate "story" on this account for Soup's On side fics. These chapters, drabbles, etc., will occur at any point in time in the Soup universe, during the time skip and perhaps even after.
> 
> I made the choice not to include these in the main fic for two reasons: 1) it was a stylistic choice, and 2) simply put, I am so burned out on Soup and have been smacked with health/work issues. I can't commit to the frequency and quantity of updates for the side fics, but I really hope that everyone will enjoy them.


	63. Chapter 63

Itachi returned from the car about twenty minutes after Sasuke had told Naruto about Stanford. Naruto acted as though nothing had happened, and Sasuke knew it was sincere. Perhaps Naruto had already realized that something like this was destined to occur, given that they were in different years. Whatever the case, he seemed entirely confident that they would both outlast what lay ahead in August. Sasuke knew that his happiness wasn't a front.

They tobogganed for another hour. They raced each other, a team of two against one. Sometimes it was the brothers in the two-person toboggan, sometimes Naruto and Sasuke, and sometimes even Naruto and Itachi. It seemed that the two-person toboggan had somewhat of an advantage; it flew by faster maybe three out of four times. This came out to Itachi's advantage originally, as he was usually the person in the two-person toboggan due to his long legs. But after enough switch offs and repetitions, it became pretty clear that the toboggan itself naturally carried more momentum.

Again, they finished another one of their runs, the three of them pausing at the bottom of the slope to dust the snow off of their outfits. It was still snowing, though it had calmed considerably. Sasuke went silent, gazing off into the trees.

"Sasuke?" Itachi asked, the first to perceive this.

"I was just thinking… Ferret seemed a little sluggish when we left."

"Did she?" Itachi frowned.

"Yeah, but she was fine yesterday. You remembered to feed her this morning, right?"

"I did," Itachi confirmed.

"Alright," Sasuke answered with a shrug. "I'm sure she'll be fine then."

Naruto chuckled just slightly.

"You're sure attached to that cat..."

Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek. It was just that Ferret was always there, no matter what Itachi was up to. Itachi worked just as hard as ever, juggling clients and giving his best in the Orange and Los Angeles County courtrooms, hours away from home. However, now that Naruto had a car, Sasuke's house was very seldom empty. If one were to count Ferret, Sasuke was never truly alone. But it wasn't like he was obsessed with the cat, like some weird, crazy old cat person. Sasuke smirked, formulating an insult in response.

"This, coming from the guy who tucks in his stuffed animal every night?"

Naruto's face reddened. How could Sasuke have gone there, especially in front of Itachi? Besides, he was sure plenty of people did stuff like that! They just didn't talk about it. He lunged forward to jab Sasuke's arm, and Sasuke quickly whacked his arm away. Naruto swayed backward, and his feet, numb from the cold, tripped over a branch, causing him to fall flat on his ass. Sasuke stared down at Naruto, smiling smugly.

"Need a little help, dumbass?" Sasuke asked coolly, leaning down to offer Naruto his hand with a heavy dose of sardonic derision.

Naruto saw two possibilities here. In the first, he would take Sasuke's hand. Hell no. As if he needed Sasuke's help. In the second, he would swat Sasuke's hand away and right himself. This seemed to be the most favorable decision until a blessed third possibility came to mind.

It was difficult for Naruto move, as far as he'd fallen into the downy snow, so he would accept this truce…momentarily. He took Sasuke's left hand with his right, discreetly scooping as much snow as he could in his left hand without getting noticed. As Sasuke swung Naruto upwards, Naruto used the momentum to advantage and swung his hand around. Sasuke saw it coming for just one precious second, yet with his left hand so tightly latched onto by Naruto, he didn't have time to dodge. Naruto smashed that mound of snow right into Sasuke's self-satisfied face.

Sasuke took a few steps back, stumbling and quickly clearing the snow off of his face. Sasuke sneered, and Naruto knew what was in store. He rose to his feet to run, but rigid snow had already struck Naruto directly on the cheek. Sure, Naruto could cram snow directly into someone's face. But did he have aim? Doubtful.

"Tch. That's the last time I try to help you."

Itachi chuckled under his breath, leaning back against a tree.

"You had that one coming, Sasuke," Itachi chided gently.

And so Sasuke wasted no time rolling up a similar shaped ball of snow and chucking it at Itachi. His brother hadn't been expecting it, so it hit him right in the ear as he turned to glance at Naruto, who had just recovered from Sasuke's hit. The snow fell down Itachi's windbreaker and back onto to the ground. Sasuke couldn't remember the last time he'd landed a solid hit on his brother.

"By now, you should know better than to wage war on me, brother," Itachi said in a mockingly sinister tone, bending to the ground to pick up his snow.

"I'm not twelve years old this time," Sasuke responded insouciantly, likewise leaning to the ground but never taking his eyes off of Itachi and Naruto. "I'm sure I'll manage."

Naruto watched with his mouth ajar, springing up as he was excited by the charged atmosphere. He felt like he'd been given a window into Sasuke's and Itachi's past lives. It wasn't often that Naruto saw them feud, but it seemed so natural.

"Of course you will, Sasuke," Itachi answered calmly.

And quicker than both of the men could process, Itachi grabbed one snowball in each hand, hurling each limb to the opposite side of his body. The two snowballs were set in motion in opposite directions, topspin bringing it close, fast, and unpredictable. Sasuke attempted to dodge and was hit in the back. Naruto, who was completely unsuspecting, was hit square in the face.

"Hey!" Naruto shouted back defiantly, waving his arms, "What the hell was that for?"

Really, Naruto wondered if he should be asking _how_ rather than why. How could Itachi throw two snowballs in the opposite direction and hit _two_ separate targets? Was there anything he _wasn't_ good at?

"You started this whole thing, didn't you, Naruto?" Itachi asked with mocked nonchalance. "It's because of you that I got hit."

Naruto grinned ear to ear. So, it was a fight the Uchiha brothers wanted? He wouldn't be one to disappoint. And there was a quieter part of his mind that felt almost like a third wheel, intruding on the brothers' rivalry. After all, the brothers had probably been having these snowball fights since before Naruto could read. Had Itachi realized this and made an effort to include him? Naruto never could figure that guy out, but either way, he was pleased.

But before Naruto could even gather enough snow to return the favor, Itachi whacked him again on the shoulder. Sasuke had barely dodged Itachi's aim and had just thrown again. Itachi attempted to sidestep it, so that it only collided with his left hip. Itachi quickly hid behind a tree. However, very unfortunately, Naruto and Sasuke were both in open space. Every now and again, a snowball would fly out of seemingly nowhere and pelt Naruto or Sasuke.

Naruto could hardly even gather enough time to make a snowball of his own. By the time he did, Itachi was still out of sight. Naruto found that he hardly even had time for Sasuke anymore – not with Itachi on the loose. What the hell was with this guy, anyway?

Sasuke soon discovered Itachi's hiding spot. To Sasuke's credit, he did get a solid blow to the back of Itachi's hooded head. Naruto and Sasuke both had him in their sight now. Itachi soon turned around, a pile of perfectly crafted snowballs at his feet and another four resting in the crook of his arm.

"Shit," Naruto muttered.

One after another came flying. They didn't even have time to gather the snow.

"Naruto! Here!" Sasuke yelled at him.

Naruto glanced over at Sasuke, who pointed to a densely vegetated area of the mountain. They lost visibility about ten feet in the distance, all view obscured by pines and logs.

Sasuke charged off towards the nook, followed closely by Naruto. Naruto knew that he'd easily lose Sasuke if he didn't follow closely, just as they were trying to lose Itachi. Itachi snickered, leaving with only four snowballs in his hand as he ran after the two. But Itachi had had to distance himself from the boys to frame his attack. He was too late.

"I'll be waiting for you, Sasuke!" Itachi called out, his voice loud in the relative silence. The only other sounds issued from Sasuke's and Naruto's thickly padded clothing rapidly brushing against itself as they ran, ducking under branches and jumping over logs. They'd lost Itachi now. Sasuke found a narrow alcove that jutted into the rocky mountain at an acute angle. Sasuke jutted his chin at it, quickly curling up and hiding himself in the recess. Naruto followed. They would only be visible from one very obscure angle.

"Dude! What the hell was that?!" Naruto asked incredulously. His voice echoed slightly, the rock around them bouncing back the sound.

"Itachi had foresight to his advantage. He planned."

"No, no, I get it. He had shit to hide behind, and we were sitting ducks in the open, but…"

"The fact that Itachi got our school's baseball team to state finals his sophomore year almost singlehandedly isn't really helping our odds here," Sasuke admitted sheepishly.

Right, how couldn't he piece that together? He'd seen Itachi's picture on a frame in the hall in the school gym, looking to be just under Sasuke's age and decked out in full baseball attire.

"Dammit, Sasuke!" Naruto swore, shaking his head. "Why did you have to choose basketball?"

Sasuke had made quite the name for himself as well as Konoha's basketball captain. He was known for his three-pointers; he required his new contact lenses for those, however. Last season, Sasuke had brought them to state. This was something his father never thought Sasuke could manage, bringing that "joke of a team" as he called it even a token of success.

Sasuke didn't resent his father for trying to force him into pursuing baseball, which had a better team at the time and a much higher probability of success. Now, more than ever, he understood where he was coming from – concern for his future.

Sasuke just wished his father could've seen him last year when he scored one of the most impressive three-pointers in his life during the final quarter of the game that took them to state. He wished his father could've seen that final score light up, hear his classmates scream and shout as their flunky basketball team went to the California State Finals for the first time in nine years. But Sasuke wondered if, somehow, his father did know. Despite all of his freshman and sophomore year mishaps, he'd like to think his father would have been proud.

"You wouldn't be the first to ask me that," Sasuke answered with a wry smile on his face.

The reference seemed to have gone over Naruto's head. He leaned back into the uncomfortable rock, which had begun to dig into the flesh between his shoulder blades. The area produced a sylvan scent which Naruto was unfamiliar with.

"So, what do you suggest we do now? Just hide here until we get frostbite and die?"

"Of course not, idiot," Sasuke responded quickly, lightly whacking Naruto upside the head.

"Then what?" Naruto replied irately, rubbing the afflicted area.

"We plan a counterattack, and quickly. It's only a matter of time until we're discovered."

Naruto nodded, his facial expression intense. Sasuke sighed, surveying their surroundings.

"We should split up," Sasuke announced.

Naruto pouted, appearing rather reluctant to take any more orders from Sasuke than was absolutely necessary. His plan did, however, make sense. Itachi would have much more trouble hitting and blocking two points of attack. Also, if one of them were discovered, the other could always come to his rescue. This way, they at least had a chance of overwhelming Itachi.

"See that log, about two hundred meters off at seven o'clock?"

Naruto tilted his head and raised his brow.

"What the hell are you talkin' about, Sasuke? I don't know meters. We're in America! Seven o'clock?"

Sasuke sighed, rolling his eyes and grabbing Naruto's head, roughly directing his face towards the point that Sasuke was speaking of.

"Right there, dumbass."

"Yeah. What about it?"

"Go there. Quietly. Itachi will eventually come into view. When I whistle, attack from behind the log. Remain unseen for as long as possible."

Naruto pouted, stubbornly jutting his heel into the snow.

"Why do we always have to use _your_ ideas?"

Sasuke always thought he was so smart. So bossy. It was frustrating…at least outside of the context of the bedroom, and sometimes even in there.

"If you have a better plan, I'd love to hear it."

Did he have a better plan? Sasuke's did seem plausible, but he wanted to figure something out, if only out of principle. He could plan just as well as Sasuke could.

"We should attack him dead on!" Naruto cheered, pumping his arm. "Let's get a bunch of snowballs in our arms and just throw 'em all at him at once as we run at him! He can't recuperate from so many heavy hits so fast!"

"Naruto, I could've made a better plan than that when I was eight," Sasuke answered dully.

Sasuke hadn't even given his plan a chance, Naruto noted resentfully.

"What?! What's wrong with it?"

Naruto gesticulated defiantly. Why did Sasuke have to be so rigid?

"There's no element of surprise to it at all. We'll basically be in the same situation we were in before. He'll see us coming and know where we're throwing from. He can also see us make the throws. With his baseball experience, I'm sure he can read a pitch and guess the target. He'll dodge them, and his pitch is far better than ours. And he'll probably come prepared."

Naruto crossed his arms, appearing severely disheartened.

"I think it would work just fine. I can throw snowballs really good. You haven't even seen me do it seriously."

Sasuke highly doubted this, given that this was the first time Naruto had seen snow altogether, and his motor skills tended to be rather…lacking, to put it kindly.

"Your plan is completely infeasible," Sasuke responded stubbornly.

" _Your_ plan is wimpy and boring!"

"Ssh!" Sasuke whispered. "He'll hear us."

"Good! Let him hear! At least then I won't have to freeze my nuts off until he randomly shows up!"

"Shut up!" Sasuke hissed, bumping Naruto's side with his elbow.

"We're using _my_ plan, Naruto," Sasuke insisted icily, glaring at Naruto.

Naruto glared back with matching intensity, until suddenly, something in his expression broke. He was smiling now, and Sasuke couldn't hide the puzzled look on his face.

"Okay, Sasuke. We'll use _your_ plan."

That had been…surprisingly easy, Sasuke thought. Was everything adding up here?

"No messing around," Sasuke said in a steely tone of voice.

"Scout's honor."

"Okay, you hide over by that log. I'll hide across the clearing. We won't be able to see each other, but see that bush near that broken tree?"

Naruto squinted his eyes. He saw it. Sasuke very quietly got out of hiding.

"That's me. We'll make our way to our spots. On my whistle, attack."

Sasuke quickly maneuvered his way into his hiding spot, careful not to snap a single twig on his path. Naruto, remarkably, moved with like grace. What a surprise, Sasuke thought. Naruto could actually be quiet if enough depended on it.

And then the waiting. Sasuke supposed that this was the portion of his plan that Naruto objected to the most. But still, any good plan required patience and forethought – traits Naruto both had shortages of. Minutes passed. Sasuke wasn't sure how many, but it couldn't have been too long. He saw Itachi now, wandering slowly and aimlessly into the empty area between the two attack points. Naruto needn't have complained. Now they had the perfect opportunity. His brother, having unwittingly walked right into their trap, was in deep shit.

Sasuke whistled, grinning as he readied for the attack. And then, his vision was lost to white as a deluge of frigid snow fell upon him. A toboggan full of snow had just emptied itself on Sasuke's head. Astounded and covered with snow, Sasuke turned around to see none other than Naruto, grinning with another snowball in his hand. Itachi pivoted quickly, running over to Sasuke. Itachi's uncertainty had been an act. Naruto had betrayed him.

"You fucking asshole!" Sasuke shouted, pushing Naruto back and throwing poorly formed lumps of snow at him. Itachi's attacks were coming quickly, both Naruto and Itachi pelting him simultaneously.

"Who says I can't plan!" Naruto said with a grin.

Sasuke highly doubted that Naruto had much say in it. Itachi was probably the mastermind behind this.

"You've gotten better, brother," Itachi said with a grin, pelting Sasuke once again. "Without your boyfriend's help, I might not've stood a chance."

Sasuke grit his teeth, smirking dangerously. He braced himself. Juugo had taught him this move. The redhead had taken down dozens of players on the football team this way. Sasuke braced his feet on the ground and squared his shoulders. He charged at Itachi, hitting him in the gut and easily tackling him onto the soft snow.

"Man down!" Naruto cried out.

Itachi was laughing.

"Holy shit, Sasuke! You're not as light as you look."

Itachi's surprise seemed strangely uncharacteristic. Sasuke took pride in it.

"It's all about technique, _brother_ ," Sasuke added mockingly.

Completely disregarding whatever Sasuke had to say about technique, Naruto threw himself at Sasuke's back. Itachi took the opportunity to jerk Sasuke down, Sasuke falling to the ground. Itachi and Sasuke shoved loose snow at each other, their "attacks" random and disordered. They were both panting, and just for good measure, Naruto decided to join them, jumping onto the ground and throwing snow wherever he could.

This aimless feuding continued over the next several minutes, the quiet, snowy landscape punctuated by panting, swearing, shouting, and laughter.

"Guys…" Itachi called out.

Sasuke and Naruto finally stopped, but Sasuke got one last jab at Naruto before doing so. Despite the fact that this was supposedly all fun and games, Sasuke was still a little sore at Naruto for treacherously thwarting his scheme.

"I'm spent. If I'm going to drive us home, we should leave now."

Naruto shook his head.

"I can drive us, Itachi. You've driven too long for one day."

Surprisingly, Naruto's driving was actually reasonable. That is, as long as he wasn't distracted.

"Thanks, Naruto," Itachi answered politely.

The three of them grabbed their gear, and Naruto gave a very lengthy and formal farewell to Frank, whom Sasuke decided that he most certainly would not miss. They trudged through another half a mile of snow soundlessly, other than the noise of their breathing and the blowing wind. Sasuke found his chest a bit tighter, which he assumed was that cold-induced asthma coming into play again. He knew that once he hit an altitude below several thousand feet, it would no longer be an issue, so he refused to complain.

However, Itachi's pace slowed just slightly, as did Naruto's. Sasuke was fairly convinced that Itachi, if not Naruto as well, had heard his labored breathing. Slightly embarrassed, he did his best to ignore the change and keep pace with the other two. This was much easier.

It seemed like ages had passed by the time they reached the car. Itachi and Naruto did what they could to shake the snow off of their boots and clothing, though doing so was a rather futile endeavor. However, neither of them were as hopeless as Sasuke, who had gotten a whole sled's worth of snow dumped on his head. Sasuke did what he could to get himself clean, but ultimately there was only so much that could be done.

Itachi tossed Naruto the keys, and the Audi gave a quick series of beeps as it was unlocked.

"We're going to have to pull over and change," Itachi noted, glancing at the rest of them.

All three of them had brought spare outfits. Naruto must have missed that "pull over" part, as he proceeded to strip naked just outside of the car. Neither brother was shocked at this point. At least there was no one else present, though now a small red car was approaching from the distance.

"Take your time," Sasuke said sarcastically. "No rush."

Nevertheless, Naruto was soon seated in the driver's seat, the car's only dry inhabitant. He was wearing a gunmetal blue jacket that buttoned slightly off to the side (Sasuke had told him this was fashionable) as well as loose camouflage pants. Sasuke and Itachi both took off their larger jackets, leaving only a sopping wet long-sleeved thermal behind in Sasuke's case and a long-sleeved black turtle neck in Itachi's. Naruto blasted the heat, which both brothers were appreciative of.

Sasuke took the seat next to Naruto, and Itachi took the back, sprawling his legs out over the back row. Naruto grinned as he cranked the ignition.

"Maaan," he beamed, stroking the steering wheel. "I _love_ driving this car."

It drove smoothly, had a sharp turning radius, and its horsepower was certainly no joke. Naruto backed out of their spot quickly, confidently driving down the road and actually following the speed limit. Sasuke was about to comment on this but decided against it, given that Itachi was in the car. Of course, Sasuke and Naruto _always_ went the speed limit. Naturally.

Perhaps that idiot had figured that given that it was the first time he'd driven in snow, he'd best be cautious. It didn't take long for them to find their first rest stop with restroom facilities. Sasuke was the first to change. He entered the cabin-style restroom with an empty grocery bag in which to put his wet clothing. He gladly stripped his shirt, goosebumps announcing themselves all over his cold and wet skin. He padded himself dry with some toilet paper – the best he could do in this situation.

He changed into a snug pair of blue jeans, so dark as to nearly appear black. He exchanged one pair of boots for another, the plaid red pattern showing as the tops of the boots, which would have otherwise approached his mid-calf, flipped backwards. His defined calves, which he'd developed for basketball season, showed even through the thick denim. A maroon V neck shirt and a black leather jacket completed the look. This was, actually, authentic leather, hugging Sasuke's frame at just the right places. It had been a birthday present from Itachi.

There was a scuffed and slightly yellowed mirror in the restroom. Sasuke scowled as he beheld his own reflection. It seemed like no matter what happened to Naruto's hair, it dried the exact same way. Sasuke's bangs and hair were weighted down by melted snow, and when Sasuke took off his beanie, the damage was even worse, his wet hat hair frizzing upward. With a resigned sigh, Sasuke flipped over his reversible beanie so that the drier dark grey side was up. He'd shower and dry his hair once he got home. He gave his ears a quick double check, making sure he hadn't somehow lost his horseshoe earrings in the scuffle. All was well.

He returned to the car feeling much warmer and more comfortable. Naruto had reclined his seat, resting his eyes as Itachi left the car to replace Sasuke in the restroom. Sasuke relished the temperature shift as he took a seat next to Naruto on the black padded upholstery. It was nice to be warm and dry again. Naruto opened a single eye, glancing over at Sasuke and taking in his new outfit.

"Hot," he commented bluntly.

In all seriousness, it never failed to surprise Naruto how Sasuke managed to pull these outfits out of nowhere, even in a random restroom in the middle of the mountains. It was like he was physically incapable of looking bad. Then again, Naruto hadn't gotten the chance to see what Sasuke's hair looked like under his beanie.

"Aren't you used to that by now?"

"Nothing more than I can handle. After all, I have to look myself in the mirror every day," Naruto grinned back. Sasuke rolled his eyes as Itachi entered the car, white button down and black jacket, and stretched his legs out on the back seat. It would appear that they were ready to leave.

"Alright, are we all ready to go home?" Naruto said with a grin, still able to maintain his energy. After that snowball fight, both brothers were spent.

"Just start the car," Sasuke told him, not sounding entirely dismissive.

Naruto turned on the radio to the local alternative rock station, playing the music loudly enough to hear the lyrics but softly enough so that they could converse if necessary. However, for the most part, Sasuke and Itachi remained silent as Naruto sang to the radio, mumbling over the lyrics he'd forgotten.

As they lost altitude, Sasuke's ears began to build up pressure. Sasuke popped his ears by forcing himself to yawn. The road was becoming less curvy and steep. Naruto had handled the drive very well, as neither brother felt even the slightest inclination to reach for the "oh shit" bar. They'd been driving for about ten minutes when Naruto's cell phone rang. Naruto always kept the volume at full blast, and even still, he frequently didn't hear his phone ring.

_You're the best around! Nothing's gonna ever keep you down._

Naruto jumped in his seat, bouncing up and down now. Sasuke knew whose ringtone that was, sighing and rolling his eyes.

"Answer! Answer!" Naruto chimed in quickly.

"It's illegal to talk on your cellphone and drive, Naruto."

This was true in a sense. It was illegal for one to use a cell phone _without a hands-free device_ in the state of California. However, speakerphone was a different story. Sasuke had two motivations here. First of all, he knew how easily distracted Naruto was while driving. This was partially why Sasuke and Itachi had been so silent in the car, aside from their exhaustion. Secondly, Sasuke knew that their only option would be either speakerphone or Sasuke talking directly to the garrulous person on the other line and playing messenger. Neither appealed to him.

"Speakerphone!"

There was no getting past this, with a drawn-out, reluctant sigh, Sasuke turned the phone on speakerphone.

"Hello? Naruto?"'

His voice was pressured as always. The guy seemed to constantly be in the midst of delivering a motivational speech. He just never lost steam.

"Lee! What's up?"

"Naruto!"

Sasuke perched his head on his hand, staring out his window and rolling his eyes.

"How was your adventure?" Rock Lee asked enthusiastically. "You have to tell me!"

Naruto was beaming, and suddenly he was driving slightly over the speed limit.

"Oh! Oh! First I built a snowman! Itachi and Sasuke both helped, and it was perfect! Then we made his smile, but we didn't have a nose for him, so we used my pen."

"You left your pen?"

"It was a generic pen. But it's really a shame," Naruto sighed. "I think Frank deserved better."

"Who is this Frank?" Lee inquired. "Did you make another friend during your journey? What an adventure! Nothing says adventure more than a new friend!"

Naruto chuckled sheepishly.

"Well, that's just what I named the snowman. Frank. But then I went tobogganing, and we went so fast! And then guess what happened!"

Both brothers were silent, though Sasuke was growing a little uneasy. It seemed like Naruto's turns were getting wider.

"Tell me!"

"It started snowing!" Naruto almost shouted, hardly able to contain himself.

"How lucky! Did you catch a snowflake on your tongue?"

"Yes!"

Naruto was grinning wide now. Sasuke saw his tire leave the lane for a moment.

"Did you make snow angels?"

"Yes!" Naruto responded with increasing zeal. "I did _everything_!"

Naruto very much reminded Sasuke of a dog, at times, in that he fed off of others' energy. If it was Sasuke or Itachi around, Naruto usually remained _relatively_ calm, by his standards. Of course, today was an exception.

But with Lee? It was like running around in circles in front of a puppy with a stick and shouting, "Go get it!" And then, of course, they fed off of each other, and the energy level in the room tended to skyrocket. That was when Sasuke usually found something else to preoccupy himself with.

"I'm so happy! You truly deserve it, Naruto. I am so glad you had fun."

As Lee responded, a white pickup truck came swerving the other way, previously unseen due to one of the mountain's curve. In all fairness, it had been hugging its way into Naruto's lane, but just as Lee finished his sentence, Naruto had to jerk the car to the outside of his lane, which was bordered by an impressive drop. The other driver honked loudly, although he, rather than Naruto, was largely to blame. They'd narrowly missed a collision.

"Shit!" Naruto hissed.

Sasuke braced himself, but he didn't lose his cool.

"Naruto?!"

Lee must've heard the other car honk. Naruto didn't respond for a moment.

"Naruto! Are you okay?"

Sasuke took matters in his own hands now, reluctantly turning off speakerphone and taking the phone for himself.

"No more distractions for you," Sasuke grunted. Naruto pouted in exchange, but he couldn't really argue. Even Naruto seemed a little bit shaken up.

"He's fine, Lee. He just got distracted," Sasuke told him. "You know how he is."

"Hmph," Naruto complained. He wouldn't fight Sasuke on that one, even though this particular incident wasn't really his fault.

"Wait…" Lee paused. "Naruto wasn't talking on his cellphone while driving, was he? That's breaking the law, Sasuke!"

Sasuke tried not to snicker at that. Even after all this time, he was still getting used to having friends who actually cared about breaking the law.

"No, he had it on speakerphone."

"I…was on speakerphone?" Lee asked. Naruto had a nasty habit of not informing people when this was the case. Sasuke had probably overheard a few more conversations than he should've, but it wasn't like Sasuke would actually do anything with the information, or even care for that matter.

"Mhm."

"Oh…" Lee answered, sounding a little taken aback. He rebounded quickly, however. "Sasuke, you are as quiet as ever! You should participate more. Life is too short for the sidelines!"

"I had nothing to say," Sasuke responded simply. This would make for an awkward conversation for most any other pair, but Lee was too oblivious to notice and Sasuke was too indifferent to care.

"Well, did you have a fun time too? It sounds like the three of you had quite the adventure!"

Naruto was driving nicely again, right on the speed limit.

"Everything was great, other than the fact that it turns out that my boyfriend is a traitor," Sasuke scoffed.

"What?! A traitor?!" Lee answered, clearly shocked and outraged.

"Mn."

"This is no way for a man to conduct himself! A true man has _integrity_! I cannot let my friend go astray! I have to talk to him right now! Tell him to pull over!"

Sasuke cast the phone a rather strange glance. He had thought, for quite a while, that it was impossible to find anyone weirder than Naruto. He was sorely mistaken.

"Lee, it's fine."

"Are you alright, Sasuke? Do you need to talk about it? Don't you worry for an instant! I will right all of this, so mark my words!"

Sasuke groaned, rubbing at the bridge area between his eyebrows.

" _Lee_ ," Sasuke interrupted. "It was just a snowball fight. I was joking."

There was a pause over the line.

"Really?" Lee asked, sounding hesitant and still a little concerned.

"Really."

Lee sighed with relief.

"Oh, that is so great to hear! I hate it when you two fight! But then again, it's like you're always fighting but really aren't at the same time! I've never heard lovers speak to each other in such a way!"

Sasuke was starting to run out of ways to respond to Lee.

"Uh… Okay?"

"But it works! You're both happy, and that's all that matters to me! In fact, how long have you been together?"

"Two years," Sasuke answered bluntly, glad to finally have a concrete response.

"It's so beautiful, the love you two share!"

Sasuke felt increasingly uncomfortable. Sometimes people went over the top talking about how great their relationship was just because they were two guys, Sasuke felt. It was like they had to make up for all the other assholes out there who would give them shit, or even try to score a few "politically correct" brownie points. It often was the same sort who would talk ad nauseam about how open-minded they were and their many, _many_ non-heterosexual friends.

Yet this certainly wasn't the case with Lee. This was just the way Lee was, probably the way he always had been. Sasuke wondered if the guy was even capable of insincerity. Why did Lee have to be so touchy feely?

"Thanks?"

"In fact, I see you guys marrying one day! It's legal now! And you'll grow old together, and I'll be old too! But I'll still run. I won't stop until the day my legs give out from under me!"

Lee was on the track team, and it was no wonder why. He certainly had the energy for it, the living personification of the exclamation point. In fact, despite giving himself a stress fracture from overexertion just six weeks ago, Lee was already training for next season. Honestly, as much as Lee could get on Sasuke's nerves, he respected him.

Despite how oddly the encouragement had been worded, it caused Sasuke to smile, if only somewhat. Naruto's eyes were on the road (thank whatever deity), and Itachi was looking out the back window calmly.

"I don't doubt that," Sasuke answered vaguely, though his voice conveyed a slight bit of warmth.

Lee laughed heartily, his laughter audible to Naruto and even Itachi.

"You can bet on it, Sasuke!"

Sasuke smirked, his own breed of affirmation.

"Anyhow, we're all tired, and Naruto can't talk worth a damn while driving, so I'm…"

"Oh, of course! I'm so sorry to have tired you further!"

"Don't sweat it. See you Monday."

Lee was, after all, one of the many members of their lunch group.

"Monday, Sasuke. Bon voyage!"

"Bye."

Sasuke was much relieved to press the "end call" button.

"Lee is the coolest!" Naruto chimed in.

"No talking from you," Sasuke ordered. "Just drive."

Sasuke did allow Naruto to speak through the mountains, but only if he promised to keep his focus. This was no easy task for Naruto, as he'd just had what he termed a "life-changing experience." Once they'd returned to flat ground, Sasuke allowed Naruto a little more reign. This was all familiar territory for Naruto and posed no issues.

Now, they neared the intersection just before the Uchiha residence.

"It seems so much faster on the way home!" Naruto remarked.

"Probably because you were about to piss yourself the whole way there," Sasuke mumbled.

"Well, I'd never seen snow before. Can ya blame me?"

Sasuke and Itachi both smiled.

"I suppose not," Sasuke conceded as Naruto rolled up the driveway.

Naruto's car, a red sedan which had a large dent on the bumper from the day Naruto bought it, waited for them on the street curb. Familiar with the layout of Itachi's car, Naruto reached for the button on the front visor to open the garage door. Once Naruto had parked the car, all three left it. It still surprised Sasuke how much the temperature could change over such a relatively short drive. It was hardly light jacket weather.

Naruto had driven himself to Sasuke's house so that the three could leave for the mountains together. Also, Sasuke and Naruto had planned on hanging out at Naruto's house after they returned. Itachi would be staying home accumulating some billable hours for a client tonight, and Iruka had vaguely referenced having some sort of "plans" at around seven in the evening. Naruto and Sasuke had had such little time alone today, so it would work perfectly.

Itachi yawned while getting out of his backseat.

"So, you guys are heading out now, huh?" Itachi asked.

Naruto nodded, so Sasuke didn't bother to respond.

"Do either of you want anything to eat before the drive? It's been a long day."

"Itachi, you should know by now never to offer me free food," Naruto joked, grinning.

Itachi chuckled quietly.

"It's really no trouble, Naruto. You're welcome to anything in the house."

"Like hell he is," Sasuke interrupted. "Last time you said that, he ate all of my Triscuits."

"They were just lying out there!" Naruto shouted defensively. This wasn't the first time this incident had been used against him. "I was hungry!"

Indeed, he remembered finding the evidence very clearly, a trail of cracker crumbs on the carpet and on the corner of Naruto's lips. Sasuke had just gotten out of the shower.

"You finished two _full_ boxes in thirty minutes, and they were dill flavored. They don't sell that anywhere in a twenty mile radius."

"Sasuke, I'm kinda concerned that you would know something like that," Naruto said, but Itachi didn't look surprised.

"I've lived in this town my entire life. I know where to find my Triscuits."

"Weirdo," Naruto jabbed.

Naruto took mental note to find these dill-flavored Triscuits and buy Sasuke a year-long supply come Christmas. That is, if they'd even keep that long. How long do Triscuits keep anyway? Suddenly, Naruto noticed that the brothers were looking at him. They seem to have asked him something. That's what he got for being distracted.

"Huh?" Naruto asked.

"Itachi asked you if you wanted anything to eat. Again."

Naruto shook his head.

"Nah, actually I'm good this time. I have more leftovers than I know what to do with back home."

Itachi nodded.

"I'm fine too," Sasuke added.

"Alright. Call me if you need anything. Will I be seeing you again tonight, Sasuke?"

"Probably not," Sasuke shrugged. "I'll call you and tell you either way before you go to bed though."

"Sounds good."

With that, Itachi waved. Sasuke and Naruto left the garage, and Itachi closed it after them. Naruto walked up to his car with the chipped red paint. It wasn't his _favorite_ color, but it was close. As the two of them walked, they noticed that there was a slight wind, and the downcast sky was barely drizzling.

"She waited for us all this time!" Naruto stated with a grin, affectionately patting the roof of his car. Sasuke rolled his eyes, getting into the passenger seat. The upholstery was black leather, slightly cracked from thirteen years of sun exposure. The odometer read 179,989 miles. Naruto cranked the ignition, holding it in place for that extra second his car needed to get up and running. He backed up off of the curb, laughing to himself. Sasuke perked a brow.

"Hey, Sasuke, look…" Naruto said, continuing to navigate his car around a Land Rover that had parked behind him. "I'm _pulling out_."

"Che, idiot."

Sasuke shook his head, questioning himself why he'd even bothered as Naruto's car left the block, once again tinkering five to ten miles per hour above the speed limit as it approached its destination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I told some of you there was one chapter left?
> 
> I lied.
> 
> Nah, actually I couldn't resist adding some more fluff, and I wanted to write Naruto interacting with one of his new friends. Naruto's the sort of person who craves having a lot of friends.
> 
> Anyhow, for real, now there is only one chapter left.


	64. Chapter 64

Sasuke kicked at a burger wrap near his feet, an empty aluminum can clanging as he did so and hiding under Sasuke's seat.

"When's the last time you cleaned this thing?" Sasuke complained.

There was trash all around his feet. As much as Naruto loved his car, it was ironic that kept it so messy. Though Sasuke supposed he shouldn't be surprised. As happy as Naruto was to find a home, his bedroom didn't look much neater than his car did.

"Friday."

Sasuke perked a brow skeptically.

"You want me to believe that _this_ generated in twenty-four hours?"

Naruto chuckled and scratched the back of his head with his left hand, driving one-handed now.

"Well, Kiba, Chouji and I kinda had a late night run to Burger King Friday."

The younger of the two scoffed and rolled his eyes. Sasuke explained to Naruto earlier that in order for him to take this trip, he'd have to be dead to the world for a couple days to catch up on all of his schoolwork. Sasuke's schedule was competitive with his brother's now in terms of workload, and it made Naruto's fifty hour weekly schedule look measly.

Sasuke was president of the student body, captain of the basketball team, and took every single AP class available to him. He also volunteered every Thursday at none other than St. Magdelene's. His boyfriend joined him for that one. Of course, the colleges didn't have to know the reason why he started this volunteer work sophomore year.

It was no wonder that Naruto hadn't invited him. Yet given what he knew about those two and how interactions between them and Naruto tended to transpire, he didn't feel like he'd missed anything. The trash by his feet confirmed his instinct.

"You're slobs."

The sky was getting darker, and the moon had begun to show dimly. Most people had their headlights on, and the streetlights had come on about twenty minutes ago.

"Hey!" Naruto interrupted, "We were gonna clean it out, but it got too late! I wanted to have enough sleep for today."

Right, Sasuke thought. Like how Naruto was always _just_ about to clean his room when he came over. But he knew that bickering with Naruto over it would be an exercise in futility.

"I take good care of Josie!" Naruto added defensively. "I check her oil, her transmission fluid, her…"

Sasuke couldn't believe that Naruto had actually _named_ the damned thing, but then again, they were currently leaving a lump of snow named Frank behind in the Los Angeles Mountains. It wasn't exactly out of character. It was also true that had this car been owned by anyone less appreciative and diligent than Naruto, the engine probably would've died a while ago.

"Just keep your eyes on the road."

"Screw you," Naruto shot back. "I'm driving just fine."

"Let's keep it that way."

Naruto grumbled, reluctantly quiet as The Neighbourhood came over the radio. They drove another several miles in silence, other than Naruto belting the lyrics of Smashmouth's "Allstar" when it came on the radio. He didn't have to mumble to this song, loud and proud. They were on the freeway for about six miles until they exited for Naruto's house. At their first light, Sasuke glanced at the odometer, which read 179,995 miles.

Naruto did, still, tend to celebrate every nitpicky occasion he got the chance to celebrate. Naruto had informed Sasuke, solemnly, on Friday that he had decided to drop out of school and pursue his dream to become a burlesque dancer. Apparently, November 21 is False Confession Day. It was also World Hello Day, which is what Naruto had celebrated in 2013, much to the confusion of the few people at Konoha High School who didn't already know Naruto. Sasuke would remember this fact next year, though it wasn't as if Naruto had fooled him for even a split second.

And so Sasuke was much surprised that Naruto hadn't commented on the fact that his beloved automobile was about to hit precisely 180,000 miles. Was it possible that Naruto just hadn't noticed? As they waited at a red light right off the freeway, Sasuke felt a small pang of guilt. As much as he wanted to avoid the theatrics and probably get stuck circling the block if the car didn't hit 180,000 before they arrived at Naruto's house, he knew Naruto would be extremely disappointed if he missed the milestone. So Sasuke sighed and rested his forehead in his palm, knowing he'd regret what he was about to say.

"Naruto, look at the odometer."

"Huh?" Naruto asked gracelessly, glancing until he shot up. "Holy shit! My baby's almost got 180,000 miles!"

Sasuke nodded.

"Attagirl, Josie. I knew you could do it," Naruto cooed, stroking the steering wheel. Sasuke felt like he was about to gag. "180,000 miles, and still kicking!"

The light turned green, Naruto still smiling down proudly at his steering wheel.

"It's green," Sasuke told him impatiently.

"Right," Naruto answered, accelerating before anyone had the chance to honk. "Oh! Oh! Sasuke, get my phone!"

Sasuke knew where this was going, grabbing Naruto's phone and setting it to camera mode before Naruto even said anything.

"Film it!"

He'd certainly seen this coming. Though given how pleased Naruto was, Sasuke couldn't really regret opening his mouth.

The part of town Naruto lived in was more urbanized than Sasuke's place out in the suburbs was. The houses crammed together like a rows of bluntly pointed teeth. This pattern started as soon as Naruto got more than a mile away from his freeway exit. It was also more heavily trafficked than Sasuke's neighborhood was, and it was nearing six o'clock. Rush hour. Naruto had to wait at the next light twice to avoid being gridlocked. Sasuke sighed. They were only two miles from Naruto's house, but he'd bet his college fund on Naruto insisting on driving around until the car hit exactly 180,000, rush hour or not.

Of course, Sasuke was right. They passed right by Naruto's house as the car hit 179,998 miles, overshooting it as the landmark mileage approached.

"Start filming now!" Naruto chipped in.

Sasuke obeyed with a reluctant groan, just barely catching the odometer change to 179,999 on footage.

"My baby, Josie…" Naruto began speaking in his deep camera voice, "Was brought into my life one year ago. She has been a very good car, though she did kinda leave us stranded off the 405 a few months ago, but… That wasn't her fault. It was hot out."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. That had been wonderful, spending two hours waiting for tow trucks to come in 112 degree heat. Another fun fact: Josie's air conditioner didn't work.

"And by us, I mean me and Sasuke. Say hi, Sasuke!"

"Hi," Sasuke spoke obligatorily.

"Josie is just about to hit 180,000 miles!" Naruto added. "It is November 22, 2014. The time is…"

A car honked behind them. Naruto had begun to slow in his lane.

"The time is 6:25," Sasuke volunteered for Naruto. Sasuke added in a rather begrudging tone, "Right in the middle of rush hour."

Sasuke moved the phone so that the footage would show the true extent of the bustling maze in front of them.

"We're going to my house!" Naruto chipped in. "Sasuke, film me, then film yourself, then go back to the odometer."

Sasuke aimed the camera at Naruto, who smiled, then dully looked into the camera himself before aiming it back at the odometer.

"I worked my ass off for this car," Naruto narrated. "I worked so many crappy jobs it isn't even funny! But I feel so lucky to have gotten a car, and such a good one as Josie to boot! Josie, here's to another 180,000 miles!"

Sasuke tried to remain silent. Naruto couldn't seriously expect this car to run for 360,000 miles, could he? Probably so. And just as he spoke, the 9 switched to a 0. Josie had officially survived the 180,000 mile mark.

"Woo!" Naruto shouted, waving his right fist. Another driver, mistaking this for a rude gesture, flipped Naruto the bird. Naruto was completely unaware.

"Eyes on the road," Sasuke repeated mechanically with a belabored sigh.

"They _are_!"

With that, Sasuke ended the film. And now came the quest for street parking. Naruto's house only had a one car garage, which was generally used by Iruka. Naruto knew which streets to park on during which days to avoid having to wake up early to move his car for street cleaning. Naruto and Sasuke scoured the road. This was not an easy time of day for this task.

Finally, they found a space, just barely large enough for Naruto's car. Quickly, Naruto backed into it and leveled forward neatly. Sasuke would have rather been tortured than admit this, but Naruto put his classmates' parallel parking skills to shame, and yes, this did include Sasuke.

Sasuke could drive; Naruto and he were both taught by Iruka and Itachi, who would alternate lessons to juggle their schedules. Sasuke simply didn't own a car and lived in an area that usually didn't require parallel parking. Naruto had become a veteran. It didn't take Naruto much longer than ten seconds to squeeze into his spot, with only several free inches on each end of his car.

Sasuke was grateful that he was lean, squeezing out of the small area between the passenger door and the curb. Waiting for a lapse in traffic to open his door and run around his car, Naruto grabbed his bag of wet snow clothes and walked the block until they neared his house. The cement stoop had three steps, each of them steep.

Naruto wordlessly requested for Sasuke to hold his bag while he rummaged in his jacket pocket for his house key. Sasuke held Naruto's belongings as Naruto took a few more seconds than Sasuke believed should be necessary to locate his keys. They opened the door, big band music playing over the house's acoustic system.

"I'm home, Pops!" Naruto shouted out.

The bottom floor now had a four foot TV in it and beige carpet, which Naruto had done his very best not to stain. There was a wood table with six chairs, as well as a small kitchen area. Everything was neat and orderly, appearing as though it had been vacuumed and dusted only a day ago. This was always the state of the common areas. While Naruto might have been a slob, he was a considerate slob. He never left messes in any shared space, but his bedroom was another story.

Footsteps quickly pounded down the stairs as Naruto's father came into view. He was wearing black dress shoes and dark grey dress slacks, along with a light blue collar shirt with a red and blue striped tie. His hair was kept back in a neat ponytail, his appearance meticulous. However, Iruka never tried to hide the scar that spanned his nose. Something about that made Naruto happy.

Iruka seemed rather flustered and preoccupied. Naruto's eyes widened as he processed his father's well-groomed, formal attire. Was _this_ what he was talking about when he said he had plans? Naruto had wished he'd asked for more details.

"Naruto!" Iruka called out with a smile, giving Naruto a quick pat on the back as he walked right past him and began to rummage through his things. "I _just_ had this darned cell phone…" he sighed.

"Woah, Dad!" Naruto answered, still floored by the abrupt change in his father's appearance. "You look great!"

"I do?" Iruka answered, sounding a little nervous and scratching below his collar.

"Yeah! What's the special occasion?"

This had been on Naruto's mind since the moment he saw Iruka. Sasuke, however, hadn't a doubt.

"Actually, I'm going on a date," Iruka said, looking down at his watch. "I'm cutting it a bit close though."

Iruka had been going on dates a little more often lately. Maybe he was looking to find someone to settle down with, especially now that Naruto was nearing college age. Naruto was happy for him. He didn't want his father being alone.

"That's not like you," Naruto answered confusedly. Iruka tended to be quite timely.

Sasuke quietly observed the conversation, taking his shoes off and setting them by the doorway and hanging his leather coat up on the nearby hook.

"Well…" Iruka answered sheepishly, looking down as he found his cell phone and placed it in his jacket pocket. "I wanted to make sure you were home safe before I left. If I didn't see you with my own eyes, it'd be on my mind all night."

Naruto laughed loudly. He told Iruka he'd call him when he got home anyway. What good would being home and missing his date do? But Iruka was just like that, for better or for worse. Naruto couldn't deny that it felt nice having a parent who cared so much. He of all people knew how difficult it was to find a guardian who would care for you like their own flesh and blood. Naturally, he wouldn't bring up the accident they nearly got into back in the mountains.

"Aw, you didn't have to do that!" Naruto replied, shaking his head. "That's so silly."

"Plenty of people have crashed on that pass," Iruka continued as he looked himself over in the mirror that rested above their two-person couch. He adjusted his collar. "One of my students, even. Everyone was fine, thank God, but still…"

They must've been lucky souls. Naruto sighed, now taking off his own shoes using only his feet and the support of a couch.

"You worry too much. You're gonna give yourself ulcers."

Iruka walked past Naruto again to check that he'd left the thermostat at a suitable level. He took the opportunity to pat Naruto's head.

"I'm your father. Worrying is part of the job description."

Naruto rolled his eyes and crossed his arms as Iruka ruffled his hair. People tended to like doing that to him, probably because of the way the wily locks always seemed to settle back into the same position. Iruka seemed like he was nearly ready to leave.

"So…" Naruto asked mischievously. "Is she hot?"

Sasuke had half a mind to whack Naruto upside the head.

"Yes," Iruka mumbled. "Maybe a little _too_ hot, if you know what I mean."

Now Naruto looked to Sasuke, looking as if someone had just told him that the Sun revolved around the Earth. What was Iruka talking about? Sasuke shrugged.

"No… I don't know what that means at all," Naruto answered with a deadpan expression, shaking his head. "Is 'too hot' even an actual thing?"

"I just mean…" Iruka seemed to lose his composure here, stammering slightly. "Well, she's really attractive and intelligent and all, and…"

Ah, now Naruto understood. He was nervous! Sasuke inwardly mused at how slow Naruto could be at times.

"Woah, woah now. _What_ am I hearing from you?" Naruto demanded.

"Well, it's just a little nerve-wracking is all." Iruka had stopped chasing around the house, distracted now as he stood next to Naruto. "She's just so…"

"No! That's not how we talk in this household!"

Iruka cast Naruto a questioning and slightly exasperated look, and Sasuke tried not to snicker at the irony of Naruto telling Iruka how he could speak in his own home.

"You are Umino Iruka!" he shouted with a smile. Another one of Naruto's patented pep talks… "You are a fierce tiger!"

"Naruto," Iruka told him with a hint of flustered laughter to his voice. "This really isn't nec-"

" _She_ is the lucky one to have scored a date with _you_! Now roooar!"

Naruto grinned encouragingly as Iruka simply stared back at him with a look of both nervousness and exasperation. There were several seconds of silence as the two of them looked at each other like that, which was rather painful to watch. Sasuke sighed.

"Don't overthink, Iruka," Sasuke offered. "Just wing it."

"You're gonna be just fine," Naruto added. "If you can handle a room full of thirty snotty little kids, you can handle one woman. Stop being such a worrywart again!"

Iruka seemed to let some of his worries out with another long sigh.

"Thanks, guys."

"No problem!" Naruto beamed.

Iruka glanced down at his wristwatch again.

"Well, here it goes. See you both later."

"Knock 'em dead!" Naruto shouted as Sasuke flicked Iruka a wave.

The door shut as Iruka walked out into the garage, leaving Sasuke and Naruto all alone yet again.

"He's gonna be fine," Naruto confirmed with Sasuke.

Sasuke nodded, turning Iruka's music off before making his way to the refrigerator. Now he actually _was_ a little hungry; he was beginning to feel a bit dizzy, even. Both Iruka and Itachi allowed either one of the boys to eat whatever was in their refrigerator, unless otherwise notified. Sasuke felt almost as much at home in Naruto's house as Naruto did in Sasuke's, which said a lot considering that Naruto had actually lived at Sasuke's house for two months.

"You hungry, Naruto?" Sasuke asked as they perused the contents of the fridge.

"Nggh yes."

Sasuke found a large bag of hard-boiled eggs and Diet Coke, as well as some Roma tomatoes. He knew what he'd be eating.

"I want eggs and tomato."

Naruto shrugged.

"Yeah, sounds good to me."

Naruto tended to be rather easygoing when it came to meal options. Of course, he'd always go for instant ramen, but he'd matured enough to realize that this did not constitute a healthy diet. He took multivitamins daily, and he ate his fruits and vegetables. Of course, he'd be lying if he claimed to not have a serious junk food addiction.

Naruto took to cracking and peeling the hardboiled eggs as Sasuke sliced a tomato for them. He also looked in the pantry for some crackers, figuring it would go well with the tomato and egg. Thankfully, his beloved dill Triscuits were on the lower shelf. He didn't remember these being here last time.

"When'd you pick these up?" Sasuke asked, returning the tomatoes to the table and taking over the box of crackers. Naruto was slicing up the eggs as Sasuke poured them both a glass of soda.

"Iruka grabbed 'em on the way home from a teacher conference in Long Beach last week. He likes them too."

Sasuke had really intended only on eating Naruto's food. He also thought that these Triscuits had only been placed here in the first place because Naruto knew how much Sasuke liked them. But if he had eaten Iruka's dill Triscuits, Sasuke was remorseful. It wasn't as though Sasuke had eaten _all_ of them, but he'd certainly made a dent. Sasuke knew how hard they were to replace.

"I…ate his crackers?"

"Well, yeah, but he said anything in the house."

Naruto finally set the eggs down, one of which he'd kept whole. Naruto sprinkled some salt on it and took a large bite. Sasuke moved to put the crackers away.

"Hey, what're ya doin?" Naruto asked with his mouth full.

"These belong to Iruka."

Naruto rolled his eyes.

" _Please_ , Sasuke. I don't think he really cares. He gave you permission."

All the same, Sasuke preferred not to risk inflicting this upon Iruka.

"'Sides, he bought like six boxes. I dunno, you guys are weird when it comes to those things."

Sasuke sighed, feeling a little better about eating them now as he sat down at the table and opened the box of crackers. He placed a slice of hard-boiled egg on the cracker, topping it with a slice of tomato and some salt. Sasuke found it delicious. He began to realize how hungry he'd been all along after he took his first bite. Yet it probably wouldn't take much to fill him, either. Naruto was already on his second egg, shoveling a cracker in his mouth randomly.

"Soooo hungryyy…" Naruto groaned.

There were probably about a dozen eggs in that bag. Sasuke wondered if Naruto stood a chance of finishing them off. Naruto began to lose steam after his fifth egg, chasing a bite of egg with a small bite of tomato. Sasuke was already full, sipping on his soda. He was feeling a lot more energized now. Most of his fatigue had been hunger.

Naruto grinned, holding two eggs in one hand and snickering immaturely.

"Sasuke, wanna touch my huevos?" he asked, holding out the eggs to Sasuke.

Right, Naruto “knew” Spanish now. Just enough to make horrible references like these.

"No."

"You don't want to touch my huevos?" Naruto asked with mock hurt. "Hue-orrible!"

Naruto had to struggle for that one. As if his puns weren't bad enough in his native tongue …

"No," Sasuke answered without paying attention.

Naruto placed the eggs back in the bag, leaning on his hand.

"Actually, I'm kinda full now," Naruto stated as he began to neaten his eating place.

"Same."

Sasuke took the cue to help clean their surroundings, placing the tomatoes and eggs back in the fridge as Naruto swept any cracker crumbs off of the table and put the Triscuits away. They returned to Naruto's bedroom, which was their designated hang out spot even when Iruka was gone. After all, that's where the PS4 was.

The stairs were narrow and steep. The house, in general, seemed to be smashed together and upward to save real estate. Usually, people had to grip onto a rail on the stairs to climb them, but Sasuke was well-conditioned and didn't have to.

There were two small bedrooms upstairs and a tiny bathroom in the middle of the hall. The pair first entered Naruto's room, which was covered in posters honoring a minimum of ten different rock bands, among them The White Stripes, Disturbed, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and naturally, Led Zeppelin. A half-empty two liter was sitting on Naruto's bedstand, and Naruto's desk was cluttered by homework, as well as a scholarship application. Enough clothes to compile about three outfits were on Naruto's maroon carpeting.

His walls were a light blue and slightly chipped. The posters covered that up pretty well, however. It was Naruto's practice to always keep the blinds open during hours of sunlight. The moon had come out now, and the room was partially illuminated by the streetlamps outside even before Naruto turned on the light. Naruto's mattress was a double, forced against the back corner and covered by a simple white sheet. The room smelled faintly of Axe body spray.

"Clean up your room while I take a shower," Sasuke ordered.

"Hey," Naruto answered, pointing his finger at Sasuke. "I clean my room when I want to clean my room. Which is now, just so you know, but that has nothing to do with you."

"Whatever," Sasuke answered, rolling his eyes.

"And you were just wet. You seriously feel the need to take a shower?"

"I seriously do," Sasuke said flatly. "And if you clean your room fast enough, feel free to join me."

Sasuke closed the door behind him without looking back. He knew that he'd been persuasive.

Sasuke entered the petite bathroom, folding his shirt and pants and placing them on the ground with his boxers. He looked well-kempt, until it came time to take off that damned beanie. He saved that for last and cast himself a look in the mirror out of morbid curiosity, which he sincerely regretted.

His clothes were clean, so he wouldn't mind re-wearing them. He just felt a little disheveled after a day like this, and hey, he certainly didn't mind if Naruto kept him company. He felt relieved when the hot water hit his skin, causing his body's temperature to rise. The house was just a slight bit chilly. Naruto's showerhead was detachable, a long, flexible pipe leading downwards. Sasuke applied the hot water to his sore shoulder, stretching his neck as he allowed the water to break up the tension.

Sasuke felt refreshed as he worked his shampoo up to a lather, loving the feel of the warm water against his tired muscles. After all, they'd had a long day. The entire bathroom smelled like Naruto now. By the time Sasuke washed his hair and was tending to his body, Naruto entered the steamy bathroom, already naked.

"Just in time," Sasuke smirked.

"I can't remember the last time I cleaned my room so fast."

Naruto slipped back the glass door. He noted, absently, how different Sasuke looked with his hair wet. His bangs clung to the sides of Sasuke's face. The back of his hair became straight, reaching down to his shoulders. Since the shower was small, they were close together. In fact, it was hard to move without touching each other. It had been two weeks since the last time they'd seen each other undressed.

"All that training for basketball season is paying off," Naruto said offhandedly as he glanced at Sasuke's body. He hadn't meant to say this, but thoughts seemed to come and go on a will of their own.

Sasuke reached for the soap, but Naruto stood in the way. The shower was too small for Sasuke to move around Naruto.

"Pass the soap."

Naruto paused for a moment, handing over the soap in his hand. Sasuke scrubbed his body, rivulets of white soap suds falling along the definitions of Sasuke's abdomen and his pelvis. Naruto took a deep swallow, trying to calm himself as he cleaned his own hair. Sasuke finished, but he didn't leave. He relinquished his spot near the showerhead to Naruto and stretched his neck, taking advantage of the hot steam.

"You've been stretchin' a lot," Naruto mused, frowning. "Have you been training too hard?"

Sasuke shook his head.

"It's just proactive."

He wouldn't allow himself to get injured this season. His team couldn't afford it. And in all honesty, maybe he _had_ overtrained a little recently, but just a little bit. Nothing worth ruffling Naruto's feathers over.

"Or just a chance to watch me shower?" Naruto asked mischievously.

For an instant, Sasuke's eyes prepared to wander without his permission. Sasuke quickly exerted his authority, refraining himself from looking now if only for the principle.

"Please," Sasuke responded with a roll of his eyes.

"Oh, gladly," Naruto answered, flexing his bicep and giving Sasuke a smile and a wink. Sasuke reached around Naruto, taking the showerhead out of its holder and, with a perfectly flat expression, aiming it directly at Naruto's face. Naruto coughed and cleared his eyes.

"Hey!" Naruto shouted, grabbing the showerhead from Sasuke and aiming it for Sasuke's face now. Sasuke saw this coming, however, and was quickly able to protect his face.

"Nuh uh!" Naruto insisted with a grin. Sasuke should've known better than to engage him in this. He grabbed Sasuke's right hand and attempted to aim for Sasuke's face once again. Sasuke turned his face, getting water in his ear.

"Knock it off."

Sasuke pulled his ear outward to clear his ear canal.

"You started it!"

Naruto paused, glancing at Sasuke. An idea had sprung up in his mind. Why hadn't he thought of this earlier?

Naruto looked at his showerhead, facing the flow of water towards the drain as he shifted through the showerhead settings, from the pummeling one stream jet to the gentle, but firm shower with about thirty different points of contact. Unseen by Naruto, Sasuke shot him a curious look.

"Sasuke…"

"Hm?"

Naruto grasped Sasuke's cock gently and applied the warm and small jets of water, spraying it from the base of Sasuke's cock to the tip. Instinctively, Sasuke grabbed Naruto's shoulder to brace himself and tried not to gasp.

"What the hell?" Sasuke asked, but it lacked venom. This seemed so random, but with Naruto's distractibility, Sasuke had grown accustomed to this to some extent.

"I do this for myself sometimes. I can't believe I never thought to do it for you."

That was Naruto. He acted on impulse, oftentimes regardless of the moment. However, this time, Sasuke's couldn't claim to mind. He allowed his mind to wander, imagining Naruto doing this to himself while the house was empty. It only aroused him further.

"How does it feel?" Naruto asked caringly, glancing back up at Sasuke's face.

Naruto's tone of voice disarmed Sasuke somewhat, allowing his hand to rest on Naruto's back. The modest sweat working at his temples was concealed by the water. Sasuke had done something similar several times before at Naruto's house, actually, as the showerhead at his own house was not detachable. He thought of Naruto the entire time.

Yet this was a completely different experience, with Naruto at the helm. Sasuke's eyes wandered down to meet Naruto's. Sasuke could already feel his breaths become more erratic, in part labored because of the dense steam in the room. Sasuke bit his lip and nodded.

Naruto shot Sasuke back a half smile, finding Sasuke's sudden show of bashfulness endearing. Sasuke knew what Naruto was thinking, narrowing his eyes at Naruto. This caused Naruto's smile to widen, though it still spoke of mischief.

"Let me try something."

Naruto set down the showerhead, getting down on his knees and taking Sasuke's cock into his mouth. After the sensation of slightly pressured water, the warm, uniform, and soft pressure of Naruto's mouth offered stark contrast. The organ's skin already sensitized, Sasuke clutched onto Naruto's shoulder as Naruto began to suck. Sasuke could just barely hear the sound of it over the water.

Sasuke had his mouth shut tight, sucking at his tongue to remain silent. Naruto's head bobbed slightly, taking the bottom half of Sasuke's cock in. He moved slowly and gradually, flicking his tongue against the head of Sasuke's hardening cock every couple rounds to keep him on his toes. While Sasuke's voice didn't betray him, his eyes did, eyelids drooping down in pleasure as his head just slightly tilted back.

Once again grasping the showerhead, Naruto brought it up and, at a distance, applied the gentle flow to the base of Sasuke's cock from underneath. Naruto began to suck harder now, his movements becoming faster. Experiencing both sensations at once was almost overwhelming.

"Naruto…" Sasuke moaned quietly.

Out of Sasuke's view, Naruto smirked. Finally, he was heating Sasuke up. He'd picked through his silence.

Sasuke became accustomed to the sensation, reveling in the feeling. Naruto and Sasuke's eyes caught each other once again, and they held stares. Sasuke's jaws had just barely parted, and his brows were scrunched together. Sasuke allowed himself to close his eyes now, the muscles around his eyes relaxing as he tilted his head backwards and acclimated to the feeling. Sasuke was mostly erect, and Naruto's mouth and the curious sensation of the steaming water was bringing him closer to fulfillment by the second.

Sasuke thought he felt the showerhead slowly moving up his cock. The movement was so gradual as to be initially imperceptible. He took note of where he felt the spray, new areas steadily coming into contact with it as the flesh towards the end of Sasuke's cock was left. Naruto moved his lips up to meet the receding water, taking Sasuke in deeper now. Given enough motivation, Sasuke knew that Naruto was capable of patience.

Behind his closed lids, Sasuke attempted to imagine what Naruto looked like right now. Naruto's lips contoured against the sensitive skin of his erection as they so often did, Sasuke assumed, lips just slightly plump. His hand would be reached under his cock. Just now, Sasuke felt Naruto rest his hand on his thigh.

Sasuke's other hand locked onto Naruto's hair. Would Naruto be looking at him? All of Sasuke's experiences, which were many, would lead him to think so. Sasuke peeked, and he couldn't help but moan, just quietly, at the lustful look Naruto was giving him just now. He couldn't close his eyes again.

The spray went farther back now, and Sasuke grabbed Naruto's shoulder harder as it first made contact with his balls. His cock was erect, almost painfully so. Bracing himself against the wall, Sasuke allowed himself to gasp out words.

"Fuck… Naru…"

He inhaled the first word and exhaled the next, his voice shuddering just slightly as he spoke Naruto's name. Naruto moaned against Sasuke's cock, the shower spray venturing a little farther back. The feeling of the spray on his sack made Sasuke curl his toes, the sensation both foreign and overwhelming. Naruto was deepthroating him now, eyes ravishing him. For a moment, Sasuke wondered if he might fall; the room seemed replete of oxygen at the moment. Sasuke panted, nails now indenting Naruto's back as he solicited support. The pain only fueled Naruto.

He was growing used to the feeling of the water on such a unique spot. Sasuke had never done this before, actually, but he was beginning to wonder why. His muscles began to relax, and he felt himself build up. He knew orgasm was close.

"Nnn…"

Sasuke no longer bothered restraining himself. He didn't want anything curbing his pleasure, and he felt safe with Naruto. Naruto's free hand pulled Sasuke's asscheek outward, causing his hole to gape as Naruto's finger slipped in, the flesh still warm and wet from the water.

"F-fuck…" Sasuke stuttered out.

Naruto's finger pressed against Sasuke's hole several times, teasing as the water softly sprayed against Sasuke's sack, and as Naruto sucked his cock, taking him as far back as he could.

"I'm gonna cum…"

As far back as Sasuke was in Naruto's throat, he knew Naruto would appreciate the warning. He couldn't hold back for much longer. When Naruto's finger finally passed Sasuke's entrance, going to the first digit, Sasuke moaned in appreciation. His face, which had already become a light pink from the heat of the shower, was flushed darkly, as were his abs, thighs, and cock. Naruto merely held his finger there, allowing Sasuke to cherish that blissful full feeling. He didn't pump; Sasuke seemed to already be having difficulty standing.

And Sasuke felt the pressure, hammering from the inside outward, that urge for release. He'd held off for a while. Now he'd surrender.

Sasuke's breath quivered and finally, slowly became a moan, which mounted in volume. Sasuke spurted into Naruto's mouth, and his mind flashed white as he cried out. He nearly fell, quickly and gracelessly catching the shower wall with his hand. His entire body was tingling with pleasure and affection.

Naruto swallowed most of it, giving an appreciative moan. Another smaller spurt followed, and it was bliss. Naruto sucked Sasuke's cock gently as Sasuke emptied himself into Naruto's mouth. What Naruto could not swallow dribbled down his chin, falling on the shower's floor. When Sasuke had finally finished, Naruto rested his hand on Sasuke's hip and stood. He wasted no time before kissing Sasuke passionately, their tongues sliding against each other.

Naruto cupped his hand against Sasuke's cheek, and Sasuke rested his forearm on Naruto's shoulder, his fingers playing with the hair at the nape of Naruto's neck. Sasuke wanted to please Naruto, truly, but the steam had already made Sasuke dizzy. This happened to him even when sex wasn't involved, and now he felt like he was about to fall over. Naruto chuckled, whispering in Sasuke's ear.

"I really do need a shower now."

He bent over and obligatorily placed the showerhead in its holder, quickly allowing it to rinse off his back as he stilled faced Sasuke. Sasuke brushed his thumb across Naruto's chin, removing some of the spunk that the water hadn't yet washed away. Sasuke had already wiped at his own face.

Naruto blushed as Sasuke glanced at his fingers, causing Sasuke to smile back at him smugly as he licked his fingertip. Naruto turned around to conceal his facial expression, letting the water clean the rest of his face. The look on Sasuke's face was practically painful.

Finally clean, Naruto turned off the shower and grabbed a white towel. Sasuke grabbed his own, toweling off his body and his hair. Naruto just dried himself off enough not to drip all over the floor while Sasuke quietly clucked his tongue. Naruto glanced over, and Sasuke was looking at his reflection in the mirror disapprovingly. It was a challenge not to laugh. Naruto knew how much Sasuke hated the look of its hair as it air-dried.

"Iruka's blow dryer is under the sink," Naruto informed him.

Sasuke nodded, grateful as Naruto waltzed back into his room, completely in the nude with his towel resting on his shoulder. Sasuke quickly started up the blow dryer, allowing his hair to return to its usual position. Sasuke only used light gel to style his hair, just to keep stray hairs in check. For whatever reason, his hair had insisted on its style since it had first acquired enough length.

His ear was growing hot, the loud whirring of the blow dryer tuning out all sound. Naruto had made him feel amazing. He was just thinking about paying him back when he turned off the hair dryer, his hair in perfect place.

But he heard something after the dryer silenced… A soft shlicking sound. Moaning. It was muted behind Naruto's bedroom door. Sasuke cursed himself, momentarily, for making Naruto wait. It was _his_ birthday celebration, after all.

Sasuke quickly walked towards the door with his towel around his waist, opening it at a normal speed but without hesitation. Naruto was nude, his towel cast off on the carpet. He lay in the middle of his bed, completely uncovered, his legs apart and his sex in his right hand.

He paused for just a moment in surprise at Sasuke's return, looking directly into Sasuke's eyes. They only held stares for a couple seconds until Naruto continued to please himself, brazenly staring at Sasuke's half-naked body. He slid his hand up and down his cock, though only at a lukewarm speed.

Sasuke subtly licked the right side of his upper lip. He knew he was helping Naruto along now, and he'd be sure to be of more service in the very near future. But for now, he pulled at the area where he'd secured the towel around his waist, sliding it out so that it parted with his warm skin by about a wrist's length. Naruto glanced at Sasuke indignantly.

"Tease," Naruto muttered.

Raising his brows wryly, Sasuke tugged just enough now to bring the small piece of towel he tucked in out into the open. The towel released itself, revealing Sasuke's completely nude body in front of Naruto. Naruto reached out to Sasuke, who was half a room away from him. His fingers reached longingly, and Sasuke took care to remember this moment of desperation.

Sasuke quickly closed the distance between the two of them, kneeling between Naruto's legs and kissing him hungrily, their tongues lashing against each other. Naruto stopped pleasing himself for a moment, and Sasuke took Naruto's sex into his own hand, adopting Naruto's same speed as he pumped it up and down. Naruto moaned softly, his hips eagerly thrusting into Sasuke's hand. He wanted more. Sasuke picked up the pace, Naruto moans growing louder.

"Keep going. Please, Sasuke…"

A simple handjob, after all that Naruto had done for him, seemed rather lackluster. Yet Naruto’s sex was completely stiff in his hands. He couldn't believe that Naruto was ready so quickly. He hadn't even taken that long to dry his hair. Naruto must've gotten started immediately. So Sasuke continued, knowing that it wasn't over. This would keep Naruto satisfied for the moment. Sasuke had bigger plans for the night.

"It's…already…"

Naruto seemed somewhat humiliated, but in all honesty, Sasuke was complimented by Naruto's arousal. If anything, he felt guilty over not repaying Naruto's kindness immediately.

"Let go."

"Sa-"

Naruto had attempted to speak his name, but his voice was quickly lost to moans as Naruto unleashed into Sasuke's hand. Another spurt, and another… Naruto's mouth parted as he released himself, and Sasuke kissed him once again. Naruto wrapped both of his arms around Sasuke, kissing back.

"Sasuke…" Naruto whispered, smiling up at Sasuke lightly.

"Hm?"

"I'd like to ask something of you."

Sasuke tilted his head, regarding Naruto curiously. It wasn't often Naruto spoke this way; he tended to be much pushier.

"I'm listening."

Naruto glanced down, collecting himself before he looked back at Sasuke with certainty.

"I want to be inside you."

Sasuke swallowed hard. Even after two years, he still had this reaction. He knew he could enjoy it, sometimes even more than being the one to penetrate. It just took him a long time to work up to the point where he felt comfortable enough to do that.

"It _is_ your birthday…sort of," Sasuke answered with a sigh, causing Naruto to grin. And, of course, he had yet to pay Naruto back for that fantastic show in the shower.

"Trust me, Sasuke," Naruto said with a reassuring and seductive grin. "I'll make it worth it."

"I have no doubts."

Naruto kissed Sasuke, a little more slowly now as his lust had been temporarily sated. He tugged on Sasuke's lip, kissing along his jawbone and licking the area between the lobe of Sasuke's ear and his jawbone. Naruto knew how sensitive that spot was for Sasuke. Sasuke took a deep breath in through his nose, willing himself to relax. Naruto's tongue slid Sasuke's horseshoe earring in his mouth, his teeth giving the jewelry a slight tug before Naruto slowly and gently licked up the side of Sasuke's ear. Sasuke felt blood rush down to his groin, his face slightly flushed.

Naruto, still composed, kissed down Sasuke's neck, he sucked the flesh gently and pinched it ever so lightly with his teeth, Naruto's eyes requesting permission to mark him. In response, Sasuke leaned his head to the side, allowing Naruto full access to his neck. Naruto found himself wishing that he had two birthdays each year instead of one. Maybe it was time to add his half birthday to the list of special occasions?

Naruto latched his teeth on, sucking. Sasuke moaned gently, knowing that Naruto was marking him in a completely visible place and not caring in the slightest. He knew from just the feel of it, the suction and the pressure of Naruto's teeth on his skin, that it was going to be dark. He didn't mind. Everyone knew, anyway. In fact, a part of him found it erotic. Still, he'd have to pay Naruto back for that one. If Naruto was allowed to own him, Sasuke sure as hell better be able to do the same to Naruto.

As the hickey began to assume a red, and then a purplish hue, Naruto looked down in satisfaction. He kissed Sasuke again as he brushed his hand down Sasuke's bare chest. Sasuke was silently very thankful to Naruto. He knew that Sasuke needed to be either highly relaxed or highly aroused when transitioning into such a vulnerable position, no matter how surprisingly cooperative he was trying to be.

"Sasuke…" Naruto whispered gently.

"Mn?" Sasuke asked lazily.

"Get on your stomach and take your knees into your chest."

Sasuke nodded, turning onto his stomach, his hair not even ruffled. It was almost eerie having Sasuke be so obedient. It had been months since the last time Sasuke had allowed him to do this. Sasuke turned his head towards Naruto, but his eyes still aimed towards the sheets.

"Can we play it by ear?" Sasuke asked, and Naruto swore that he heard the slightest hint of nervousness in Sasuke's voice. He loved it.

"Absolutely not," Naruto answered flatly.

"Idiot," Sasuke shot back, causing Naruto to laugh. Naruto's joke had put Sasuke somewhat at ease, but the sound of his laughter… As annoying as it could be to Sasuke at times, now it seemed so reassuring.

"I'll take my time. Tell me to stop if you get uncomfortable, okay?"

Sasuke paused.

"Okay."

Even Sasuke wasn't sure what had gotten into him, birthday or none. Excuses about birthdays aside, maybe it had been talking about Stanford with Naruto, thinking about having to part with him again. It made him softer, more loving, because he had to admit that just a portion of his mind was afraid of _losing_. The rational part of his mind knew better. After everything that had happened, he doubted something like this could part them. But he just couldn't be sure.

Breathing in deeply, Sasuke took to all fours before leaning down on the bed and bringing his knees into his chest, his forearms stretched forward on the bed. Naruto kneeled on the bed behind Sasuke, quietly appreciating the view. He gently massaged Sasuke's asscheek with his right hand, Sasuke's pucker giving a slight spasm whenever it was exposed to the cool air. Naruto kissed Sasuke's hip lovingly, petting up and down Sasuke's spine. Naruto felt Sasuke relax under his fingertips, his back lengthening as Sasuke leaned deeper into the bed.

Now Naruto took one cheek in each hand, kneading them softly. He parted them so that Sasuke's entrance revealed itself shamelessly, clenching involuntarily. Naruto bent down, confidently flattening his tongue over the opening.

Sasuke balled the sheets with his right hand. Naruto's tongue circled around the orifice, and Sasuke felt himself grow hard against the bed. He let out a quiet and appreciative moan, at which Naruto hardened his tongue and forced it past the band. Sasuke couldn't help but gasp at such an intimate movement. He was wondering why Naruto was being so loving. Perhaps he was reading off of Sasuke's rather uncharacteristic cooperation.

Naruto rotated his tongue, feeling Sasuke's insides demandingly. The sensation of Naruto's warm, moist muscle inside of him reminded Sasuke of what was to come. It was a taboo act, which only got Sasuke off more. Sasuke wondered what sorts of kinks he might develop over time. After all, they had been somewhat limited by their age.

"That feels amazing," Sasuke remarked encouragingly.

Bobbing his head, Naruto thrust in and out of Sasuke quickly. Sasuke showed his gratitude by letting out what ended up sounding like a soft purr. He was getting still stiffer, and he adjusted himself so that his erection had room to rise. Sasuke's body was beginning to accommodate Naruto now, and the blond could feel Sasuke's canal relax around him.

At this, he finally removed his tongue, leaning forward to fetch the appropriate items from his bedstand drawer. Sasuke's eyes closed softly, and he heard the squirting sound of lube being applied. Naruto waited for his body heat to warm the lube before touching Sasuke.

One lube-slicked digit touched Sasuke's pucker, causing Sasuke to hold his breath momentarily. Naruto pushed forward gently, his finger easily sliding in now that Sasuke had been prepared for it. Naruto pumped leisurely. Sasuke was being so quiet.

"Does it feel good?" Naruto asked, sounding a little concerned.

"Faster…"

Naruto smirked, picking up the pace. Sasuke moved up to rest on all fours, his ass moving against Naruto's finger to bring it farther in with each thrust. He'd gotten so greedy, but Sasuke no longer cared about keeping his composure. Feeling Naruto inside of him proved too euphoric for that. Once Naruto had warmed him up, he was addicted.

And then Sasuke felt another finger being added.

"Fuck…" Sasuke swore in a volume between speaking and shouting.

With a grin, Naruto thrust the two digits inside of Sasuke, scissoring quickly to open him up farther. Sasuke's movements were growing more chaotic, desperately moving into Naruto's fingers, demanding Naruto to go deeper.

"You're taking me in beautifully, Sasuke," Naruto purred.

"More…"

At this, Naruto grinned. He had done well warming Sasuke up. Naruto spurted some lube onto Sasuke's asscrack, just above his entrance. The lube dribbled down, forced inside of Sasuke's body as it fell against Naruto's deft fingers. And finally, he added a third finger, middle finger on top and ring and pointer fingers directly next to each other on bottom. He moved more slowly now, feeling the resistance of Sasuke's orifice.

There was just a short pang of pain, and then it was all pleasurable to Sasuke. He patiently waited as Naruto delicately moved inside of him, accustoming Sasuke to the feeling of three fingers. Sasuke rocked against it gently, allowing his body to accommodate the width of Naruto's fingers. Naruto glanced at Sasuke through his legs, seeing his hardening balls and cock through the gap. Sasuke looked gorgeous to him.

As aroused as he was, it didn't take Sasuke long to relax into this as well, the top joints of Naruto's knuckles clapping against Sasuke's asscheeks as Sasuke fully took him in.

"I'm ready," Sasuke breathed out, and out of Sasuke's sight, Naruto grinned.

Naruto removed his fingers, leaving Sasuke feeling empty and yearning. Sasuke held his breath, hearing the lube squirt again. He felt like he was at the start of a rollercoaster, safety announcements sounding as the guard rails were set into place. He readied himself, knowing what was to come. He craved it now, wanted to be filled.

And true to expectation, he felt the intrusion gently brush against his entrance. It pressed softly, but only for a moment. The head pushed past Sasuke's entrance, and Sasuke willed himself to relax, moaning as he was penetrated. Yet for a moment, Sasuke froze.

This didn't feel like Naruto. It wasn't warm enough, and the texture and pressure were different. It just didn't feel like him. Sasuke only had a split second to process this until a loud buzzing filled the room. His body jumped as he moaned involuntarily, his pucker clenching around the toy greedily.

"You like that, don't you?" Naruto asked lasciviously.

Sasuke hadn't been able to control himself, shocked by the sudden stimulation.

"Shut up," Sasuke snapped back.

Sasuke was embarrassed by his reaction, but what the hell else was he to do? This was totally unexpected. They'd never used a sex toy before. Where they lived, one was required to be over the age of eighteen to purchase one. While the pair had plenty of friends of legal age, Juugo among them, Sasuke didn't exactly feel comfortable with the "Hey, could you pick me up some nipple clamps next time you're downtown?" conversation.

Sasuke's body was breaking into a sweat. This toy seemed powerful, although in truth, he had nothing to compare it to. Small moans kept pressing themselves up against his throat, begging Sasuke to announce them. It was rare for him to have a new experience like this.

Sasuke and Naruto been having frequent sex for two years, so neither of them were inexperienced. They'd strayed from typical vanilla sex long ago. Blindfolding, bondage, handcuffing, and spanking were nothing new to either of them. It was simply due to age restrictions that this had remained an unexplored frontier.

Sasuke grabbed the sheets tight in each hand, his breath shuddering as his cock became fully erect.

"Look! There are six speeds!" Naruto volunteered helpfully, quickly switching the vibrator to different rhythms with hardly a second in between.

To Sasuke's awe, some of these speeds were even _stronger_. Other settings just buzzed in different sorts of rhythms. Some were fast pulses followed by instants of silence, others were one long pulse followed by two short pulses, others… Yet as fast as Naruto was going, it was difficult for Sasuke to tell the difference.

His body spasmed, his stomach performing an impressive gymnastic routine as the toy vibrating so deeply within him changed time after time. If Naruto aimed to kill him tonight, he was off to a good start. It caused Sasuke to jerk his knee inward spastically and emit half of a gasp followed by a moan. At the abrupt changes, Sasuke did his best to compose himself and not, say, accidentally knee Naruto in the nuts due to an involuntary muscle spasm.

"Heh," Naruto chuckled to himself quietly. "It's kinda like Morse code."

These were some complicated rhythms, after all, Naruto thought. Three medium pulses, five quick short pulses, and one long buzz? It was almost as if the dildo was trying to communicate with him.

"Yeah, fan-fucking-tastic," Sasuke snapped. "Pick _one!_ "

Six speeds wouldn't do Sasuke much good if Naruto could never decide on one.

"Ah, right," Naruto chuckled sheepishly. "Sorry. I got carried away."

The fact that Naruto actually apologized made it a little tougher for Sasuke to be frustrated with him. There was also the fact that Naruto had brought this glorious device into the bedroom on his own accord. It made Sasuke feel like _his_ birthday was the one being celebrated. And here he'd been meaning to please Naruto, not himself yet again. He'd pay it back, definitely, but Sasuke couldn't imagine how much someone would have to bribe to get him to leave this position.

"A little birthday present to myself," Naruto explained with a grin. "I only mess with the best."

Naruto stopped at a lower speed, a uniform buzz, allowing Sasuke to acclimatize to the new sensation. Sasuke noticed that the vibrations eased the pain of penetration, and his breath quickened.

"How's this one?" Naruto asked, changing to another setting. It was no stronger, but it had two medium length pulses, followed by a long and steady buzz.

"Keep it," Sasuke panted.

Naruto was using only one hand to hold the toy. Over its loud buzzing sound, Sasuke thought he heard the sound of moist friction behind him. It was difficult to concentrate on anything other than what filled him. Sasuke held on. If he hadn't already cum just a half hour ago, Sasuke didn't know if he would have been capable of this. But as for now, he was comfortable, enjoying himself, his body laden with soft euphoria.

"Sasuke…"

"Hm?"

"Can you move over to your back for me?"

Sasuke's breath hitched for a moment.

"Why?"

"It's a surprise."

How many more surprises could there possibly be? Sasuke glanced at Naruto skeptically.

"C'mon," Naruto insisted with a slight smile. "It's kinda my favorite part."

With extreme care, Sasuke gracefully moved to his left side, Naruto keeping the dildo in place. He then took to his back, the bottoms of his feet resting about a thigh's distance from his ass. Finally, he could see the toy inside of him. The small part Sasuke could see appeared to be made of flesh-colored silicone. And of course, there was Naruto himself, smiling contently at Sasuke. Sasuke curled his pelvis to allow Naruto easier access.

Sasuke's cock stood proudly. While Naruto pumped the toy inside of Sasuke, he pivoted around, facing the foot of the bed.

"Naruto, what are you…"

Naruto straddled Sasuke's body, facing away from him, the motion of Naruto’s busier hand ceasing for just a moment. He rested on his two shins, one on each side of Sasuke. Reaching behind him and holding Sasuke's cock in place, Naruto lowered himself down on it, just past the head. Naruto moaned loudly, never one to hold back.

Naruto had prepared himself. Sasuke had been too caught up in his own pleasure to notice. Naruto fit him comfortably but snugly, only a couple inches in now. Yet with the vibrations traveling throughout the region as well as the snug fit of Naruto's walls against his cock, Sasuke felt nearly overwhelmed. Sasuke had never penetrated while being penetrated before, other than just a few fingers. This was quite the enjoyable lesson.

"Fuck… Naruto…"

"Hang in there, huh Sasuke?" Naruto asked sheepishly, sounding quite winded.

Sasuke would've reached around and pleasured Naruto, if he could've. His hands were practically useless in this position. He tried to peek around Naruto, hoping to get a guess at how close he was. He was unsuccessful.

"I'll try."

Naruto lowered himself farther down, both of them moaning together as Sasuke penetrated Naruto more deeply. Finally, Naruto leveraged from his shins and began to lower and raise himself on Sasuke's cock. He adopted the same rhythm with his hand. Sasuke's stomach leapt. And finally, Naruto took Sasuke in fully, crying out in pleasure and drastically moving up and down. The toy moved quickly in and out of Sasuke.

"I can't… Ngh…" Sasuke breathed out, hardly able to control his words.

Sasuke couldn't even think, his head hanging backwards as he moaned. His eyes shut tight, as if to ward off all other stimulation. The buzzing, the moaning, the panting, the sound of moist friction… It was all lost to him.

This was…so much. He was beginning to forget. He forgot what time it was, forgot where he was, forgot _who_ he was… As conscious thought disappeared, Sasuke's mindset grew increasingly animalistic, enslaved to the basest desires for pleasure and reward. As his restraints were severed, he moaned loudly, jaw hanging down and quivering slightly as he inhaled.

"S-Sasuke…"

Naruto's mouth hung open, his lips curving upwards.

"Touch yourself," Sasuke ordered quietly.

As lost as he was, this would probably be his last request before he climaxed. Even he was surprised he'd been able to form a coherent sentence. Sasuke just wanted Naruto to feel like he felt.

Sasuke heard the hurried shlick of Naruto's hand as he pumped himself, bouncing up and down on Sasuke's sex. He sat fully, Naruto's ass clapping against Sasuke's thighs and pelvis. And now Sasuke felt Naruto's insides contract.

"Shit… Shit…" Naruto whimpered blissfully.

Sasuke's head ripped from side to side on the bed, barely able to control himself. He was getting close, and the pressure of Naruto's muscles against him seemed to be pushing him to the brink.

"So close, Sasuke…"

Sasuke moaned out loudly. Naruto paused for a moment, and Sasuke looked to see Naruto's entire body quaking on top of him. He took a long, shaky breath in.

"Ah!" Naruto shouted, his entire body stiff. Sasuke felt Naruto's insides squeeze his cock, forcing another moan out of Sasuke.

Within seconds, Naruto relaxed, his seed spurting forward onto Sasuke's legs and the bed. Once, another time… But he kept pumping on and off of Sasuke, catching his breath. The simple sound and sensations of Naruto's orgasm aroused Sasuke, knowing what he'd done to Naruto. But Naruto kept moving, intent on ushering Sasuke to orgasm.

Naruto's body slumped, fatigued now but keeping Sasuke deep inside of him. Sasuke's breath had become a slight bit raspy as the air forced itself in and out of his chest. Naruto turned the vibrator to its strongest setting, hoping to finish Sasuke off with a bang.

Sasuke gasped in sharply, his head flinging back against the mattress as both hands frantically clawed at the sheets. Sasuke felt lost, obliterated. His consciousness seemed to fade away, and even if he could have accessed his own memories, he still wouldn't remember the last time he felt so blissfully overwhelmed. He cried out, his bare chest arching towards the ceiling as his mouth hung open, his face bright red. Sasuke released hard into Naruto, his spunk filling him up, just leaking ever so slightly around Sasuke's cock.

Sasuke ejected several more spurts, each diminishing. Sasuke felt a little dizzy as he tried to catch his breath, his body perfectly exhausted and euphoric. Both of them were panting, torsos, faces, and the backs of their knees covered in sweat. First, Naruto turned off the vibrator, gently withdrawing it. Naruto pulled off of him, the aftermath dripping out of Naruto's ass. They were a mess. The sheets were a mess. Sasuke couldn't bring himself to give a damn.

Naruto lay beside Sasuke, resting on his side as he watched Sasuke's face. His forehead covered with sweat as his bangs parted, Sasuke slouched back on the bed. His hair, now messy once again, had a slight wave to it as it lay on the pillow. His breathing was coming slower now.

Sasuke's forearm rested on his face, shielding his eyes from stimulation. He didn't think he could handle much of anything right now, not after that. Sasuke leaned against Naruto, their fronts facing each other. Naruto's arm draped over Sasuke's back, pulling him in closer as he seemed to burrow into Naruto. His barriers had descended.

"How was it, Sasuke?"

The corners of Sasuke's lips edged upwards before he even responded, and Naruto gave an unseen grin.

"It was…"

Sasuke trailed off, and it almost seemed like he'd forgotten he was talking.

"Lost for words?" Naruto teased.

"It was…intense," Sasuke breathed out, his entire body relaxed. "Kinda feels like I'm high."

The fact that Sasuke hadn't teased him back was shocking in and of itself. He must have some serious happy chemicals bouncing about his bloodstream to let Naruto get away with that one. Naruto allowed Sasuke to rest for several more seconds before speaking again.

"You looked amazing," he said softly.

Sasuke didn't respond, biting the corner of his lip as his mind returned. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had an orgasm like this. So much had been going on, with the complex vibrations of the toy inside of him as Naruto rode his cock. He could honestly call it a once in a lifetime experience.

Naruto combed his fingers through Sasuke's thick locks, feeling his warm breath modestly mist against his chest. He was just slightly curled up, his body slumped and entirely relaxed. His eyes were lidded most of the way shut. Naruto leaned down, placing a slight peck on Sasuke's forehead.

"Naruto…" Sasuke murmured, sounding almost as if he were half asleep.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Naruto stopped breathing, barely refraining from gasping audibly. Sasuke's face was hidden in Naruto's chest, his gaze concealed. Naruto was shocked to hear these words, and even more shocked for Sasuke to have initiated them.

When Sasuke had told Naruto that he loved him, the day Naruto had left for foster care, he assumed that some sort of boundary had been crossed. Yet Sasuke was almost as tight-lipped with the phrase as ever. Naruto knew Sasuke better than to take it personally. He knew how Sasuke felt about him, but these words were still precious and few to Naruto. Even after two years, the phrase still made a deep impact.

Naruto held Sasuke in closer to him, gently combing his hand through the back of Sasuke's hair.

"I love you too, Sasuke."

"Mn…" Sasuke mumbled, and for a moment Naruto thought he would drift off.

Recuperating, Sasuke straightened his body out, removing his face from Naruto's chest and gazing directly into Naruto's eyes. He placed his hand on Naruto's chest, his palm flat against it as he felt Naruto's heartbeat. Naruto leaned forward, softly placing a close-lipped kiss on Sasuke's lips. Both of them were too fatigued at the moment to be heated, but as they rested, they quickly regained energy.

As soon as Naruto's lips pulled away from his, Sasuke leaned forward, closing the distance as he placed another kiss on Naruto's lips. They stayed there for a moment, each feeling the other's gentle breath, before Sasuke opened his mouth slightly. Naruto followed suit, parting his lips and tentatively pushing his tongue just slightly into Sasuke's mouth.

Sasuke's tongue lethargically circled around Naruto's, brushing against it slowly like a cat rubbing against a leg. Naruto emitted a soft moan of approval. Lying on his left side, Sasuke rested his right palm on Naruto's cheek, rubbing his thumb indiscriminately against both scarred and unmarked skin. Naruto nuzzled against Sasuke's hand, and Sasuke craned his neck forward slightly, kissing Naruto a little harder.

They both parted lips, their breathing coming a little faster as they looked at each other. They both felt blood gravitate towards their nether regions. When Sasuke kissed Naruto this time, he tugged on Naruto's lower lip with his teeth. Pressing his palm against Sasuke's back, Naruto pressed their bare bodies together as he kissed Sasuke back deeply. Naruto kissed along Sasuke's jawbone towards his earlobe, taking Sasuke's earring in his mouth and giving it a sharp tug.

Meanwhile, Sasuke's hands slid down Naruto's chest, down his abs, until he reached Naruto's cock, gently sliding the smooth part of his fingernail against it. It had already begun to harden, as had Sasuke's own. Sasuke gave a satisfied smirk, his slight smile askew. Naruto gently flushed in embarrassment yet still did not move away.

Sasuke fondled Naruto's cock for a few seconds longer, Sasuke's cum left beforehand making it nearly frictionless. He wanted Naruto to feel good. He wanted to unravel Naruto, just as Naruto had done to him moments ago. Naruto's hips moved, shallowly bucking into Sasuke's hand but stopping cold. It had been a lapse in willpower.

"Go ahead," Sasuke reassured him.

Naruto clutched Sasuke's back now with both hands, thrusting his cock into Sasuke's palm. Sasuke began to rub him up and down, Naruto's erection stiffening. The only sounds in the room were the shlicking of Sasuke's hand against Naruto's sex and Naruto's blissful pants.

Sasuke chuckled, softly shaking his head.

"You have to try that."

"Try…what?" Naruto panted out, though he damned well knew the answer.

Seemingly at random, Sasuke brought his pelvis up to meet Naruto's, their growing erections flush against each other. Naruto let out a long moan at the unexpected contact. Sasuke rubbed their two most sensitive areas together now, his panting joining Naruto's. Even after orgasming two times, Naruto was still responding so nicely.

"What you just did… I want to show you something you can't even imagine," Sasuke said huskily. "Just like you did for me."

Naruto swallowed tight, a shiver bolting down his spine.

"But… You're worn out. Are you sure you're…"

"Don’t underestimate me."

He continued preparing them until they were almost completely hard, knowing that even despite being prepared earlier, Naruto needed to be ready for this.

"Move to your knees," Sasuke commanded.

Naruto shivered for a second, the slightest bit nervous.

"Bossy…" Naruto griped, though he did obey. He turned onto his stomach, bringing his knees to his chest, thighs slightly apart so that his entrance gaped greedily. Soundlessly, Sasuke smirked. As familiar as he was with this view, he could never stop appreciating it.

He squirted Naruto's lube onto his fingers, waiting it to warm until he easily slipped two digits into Naruto's ass, scissoring them inside. Naruto's entrance had already been lubricated and prepped by Sasuke, so there was little need for preparation. Nonetheless Naruto purred as Sasuke's fingers worked inside of him, loving the intimacy of the moment. Before long, Sasuke withdrew his fingers. He pressed the vibrator up against Naruto's ass.

Naruto's breath hitched abruptly for a moment, reminded of what was coming. He craved a particular setting at the moment, a strong one with long pulses, though he decided not to let Sasuke know which that was. He wanted Sasuke to please him. He wanted Sasuke in control, not because he wished to be submissive, but because he didn't want to expect what was coming.

Sasuke gave several more warning pushes, each stronger than the last but not quite strong enough to penetrate. Sasuke turned on the vibrator. It pulsed, just as Naruto had wanted it too, but it carried two quick pulses, followed by just the slightest bit of rest. This was one of his favorites. Naruto's pucker twitched against the pending intrusion, Naruto clutching the covers and moaning softly.

"Please…" Naruto mumbled, almost whispered. His voice was nearly lost to the loud vibrations of the toy.

"Hm?" Sasuke asked innocently. It both aroused Naruto and made him want to punch Sasuke in the face.

"Are you deaf now, bastard?" Naruto snapped, looking around him just to see Sasuke sigh and tilt his head to the side after his question.

"If you're going to beg…" Sasuke said lasciviously, lightly stroking his fingernail along Naruto's perineum, from balls to ass. "Do it right."

Naruto exhaled fully, tinged with nervousness, temptation, and reluctance.

"Please, Sasuke…" Naruto spoke clearly and earnestly.

Sasuke was satisfied with this, pressing the toy against Naruto's pucker, causing it to indent and almost expand around the toy.

"Please, Sasuke! Put it in. I need it."

Out of sight, Sasuke smiled sinfully at Naruto's supplication, this time unsolicited. He loved it.

He pulled Naruto's left asscheek apart, offering the toy more room.

"You got it," Sasuke said. He didn't waste a second as he pushed the head of the toy past Naruto's entrance, causing Naruto to gasp sharply.

"Fuck… _Yeees_ ," Naruto moaned, the word "yes" emphatically stretching on.

Sasuke made short, quick thrusts, slowly making them deeper. He considered pleasuring himself, but he looked down and noted that he was fully erect. He didn't want to finish prematurely. Naruto used his calves as leverage as he hungrily slammed himself back onto the toy, the majority of it lost inside him. Sasuke bit his lip, his arousal quickly mounting. He was so hard it nearly hurt.

"Onto your back," Sasuke ordered.

It took all of Naruto's willpower not to whimper, so powerfully needy of what was to come. He rolled onto his side, now using his own hand to keep the toy inside of him. Once Naruto fully rotated to his back, Sasuke regained control of the toy, kissing him ravenously as he began to pump it again. He nipped down Naruto's jawline, only his neck. Then he sucked in hard, repaying Naruto's favor from before.

Naruto's hips bucked as he cried out, "Oh God."

Sasuke couldn't be the only one with a conspicuous mark. He couldn't be the only one being owned. It just wouldn't have been fair.

"You're mine," Sasuke told Naruto with a mixture of lust and tenderness.

"Yours," Naruto reassured, panting.

Naruto reached out a quivering hand for Sasuke, who embraced it with his only free arm. He brought it up to his lips and kissed the back of Naruto's hand gently, causing Naruto to close his eyes softly, his lips curving upwards.

"S-Sasuke…" he breathed out. He sounded so loving.

Sasuke pecked Naruto on the forehead, finding the restraint almost painful. He inconspicuously inserted another helping of lube on his own entrance, turning around and straddling Naruto in reverse, assuming Naruto's previous position. Keeping his cheeks apart, Sasuke lowered himself onto Naruto's cock, guiding it with his own hand to his pucker. It just hadn't quite breached his entrance.

"Oh God… Yes, Sasuke…"

Sasuke breathed in deeply. Even considering how aroused as he was at the moment and the fact that he had just been penetrated by the toy, this was still a bit difficult for him. To Sasuke, it was a rare position. It made him a little bit nervous, but then again, that's probably what Sasuke saw in it. As much as he got off on the power of being the one inside of Naruto, in moderation, this was a welcome departure from the norm. Perhaps sensing Sasuke's hesitation, Naruto caressed Sasuke's back with the back of his hand.

"I love you, Sasuke," Naruto repeated for the second time that night. "Please let me inside of you."

After hesitating for another second, Sasuke lowered himself, the head of Naruto's cock pushing through. Sasuke hissed. For just a moment, he lost his rhythm with the toy, overwhelmed by the sensation. However, he quickly regained it. Naruto thrashed his head to the side.

"Oh _fuck_ …" Naruto almost shouted out. "Oh God… Oh my God…"

Sasuke moaned, lowering himself down on Naruto's cock as his hand holding the toy became more aggressive. Naruto was inside of him now, if only just barely. He felt him so very intimately.

" _Saaasuke_ ," Naruto whimpered out, his voice trembling as he stretched out each syllable.

Sasuke brought Naruto deeper into him. It was much less painful than usual, given how warmed up he already was. Sasuke bounced against his calves, causing the bed to creak with each bounce. Naruto was deep inside of him now. Despite the vulnerability inherent in such a situation, Sasuke felt so blissfully safe.

"Ah!" Naruto cried out, words forsaking him. He was inside of Sasuke, feeling the tightness of his walls against his sex, just as Sasuke pleasured Naruto's own orifice. He was becoming lost. Pleasure was the only thing in his world. His distracted mind just barely noted a drop of sweat rolling off of his temple.

Sasuke bounced against Naruto harder, his plump cock hammering into Sasuke all the way to the hilt. Sasuke let out a gruff pant, sounding nearly animalistic. Meanwhile, he slammed the toy deep into Naruto. Sasuke was so hard, Naruto clawing his nails into Sasuke's back. The pain only fueled him.

"Aah! Sasuke!" Naruto shouted, the volume of his voice dwarfing the sounds of their exertion and the vibrator. Naruto's cheeks, neck, and stomach were flushed a dark red. His room was inundated with the scent of sex.

Sasuke knew Naruto was close, so he raised the speed on the vibrator to the strongest one, a straight and unpunctuated buzzing. Just faintly, Sasuke felt the heavy vibrations spread through Naruto's body. He even felt the slightest hint of buzzing inside of him, ushered in by Naruto's cock. Sasuke moaned, glad to be experiencing this with his lover in the moment, if only slightly. Naruto cried out, his head flipping from side to side, his toes clawing the sheets. Lost. Completely lost.

Sasuke wanted to cum alongside Naruto. This was frequently difficult, but he believed that he could read Naruto well enough to sort the timing out. Naruto's orgasm would arrive within seconds, so frantically, Sasuke pumped his own cock, sprinting towards the finish line. He tilted his head back, his bangs parting off of his forehead and his hair falling towards the ground. Sasuke's eyes were shut tight, his lower lip hanging down, trembling. His cock was still coated by his own seed from fucking Naruto just moments ago, aiding his movements. And now the reverse had occurred, both of them equally owned.

"I'm…" Naruto started, but he couldn't finish. He cummed hard into Sasuke with a loud cry, causing Sasuke to shudder and moan. Sasuke picked up his own pace, finally reaching his own orgasm. Just as Sasuke's spunk jetted onto Naruto's legs and the bed, Naruto's sex emitted another spurt, deep inside of Sasuke. It was a truly euphoric duality, to own and be owned all at once.

Naruto panted as a third, then a fourth spurt released inside of Sasuke. Naruto's entire body collapsed onto the bed, each muscle purely relaxed, his cock limp. Out of sight, Sasuke blushed, knowing that he was filled with all of Naruto's seed. Sasuke pumped his own cock, finally emptying it. He lifted himself up with shaky legs, freeing himself and collapsing on his side.

Naruto wasted no time in kissing Sasuke, then hiding his head in the crook of Sasuke's neck. Sasuke felt Naruto's warm breath mist against his sensitive skin. He reached around, petting the back of Naruto's head.

"I love you, Sasuke…" Naruto whispered with a slight slur.

Sasuke smirked, still stroking his fingers through Naruto's hair.

"Of course you do."

"Bastard…" Naruto rebutted, sounding completely blissed out. Sasuke tried not to laugh.

They lay there for several moments, each thoroughly exhausted. Naruto reached up his hand, holding Sasuke's. Sasuke played with each of Naruto's fingers, rubbing them from palm to tip. He took his time. Once he was done with each finger, he massaged Naruto's palm. Naruto moved closer into Sasuke, a part of his mind wishing that he could somehow hide completely inside of him.

A few minutes more, and Naruto began to come to his senses. He couldn't remember the last orgasm that took him out for so long. His mind uninhibited, Naruto whispered out, "You were right, Sasuke, that was amazing."

"Naturally," Sasuke muttered back.

"Meaning that I really am a sex god."

"Come off it," Sasuke responded, rolling his eyes and gently flicking Naruto on the head.

"I don't mind just calling myself a genius if that's more agreeable to you," Naruto teased, his voice still quiet.

Sasuke paused a moment.

"Okay…" he breathed out. "You're a genius."

" _Really?_ " Naruto asked in disbelief, his eyes widening as his voice gained a few more decibels without his permission.

"…Sure," Sasuke answered dully.

Little did Naruto know, Sasuke would only use this against him. He'd be sure to slip the "compliment" in the next time Naruto did something stupid, which was by no means a rare occurrence.

Naruto sighed, speaking softly again.

"Ya know, Sasuke, you really were amazing."

Sasuke simply grunted, but he held Naruto tighter. Sasuke's mind began to wander now. He was leaving in only eight months. It seemed so far away sometimes, and other times it felt so close. Every time he wrote a college essay, when he took his SATs, when he'd perused college ratings, Naruto was always in the back of his mind. All of this was just him preparing to leave Naruto. Yes, temporarily, but never since they met each other had they had so much distance. He leaned his head against Naruto's shoulder as he held him closely.

"It's going to suck, Sasuke. I can't claim that it won't," Naruto told him. Sasuke was momentarily surprised that Naruto had read him. But that was how Naruto had been since the day he met him: simultaneously oblivious and astute. "But it's going to be worth it."

Sasuke nodded, ashamed that he had let on.

"Ya know, maybe I am just a romantic," Naruto mused. "But I think that we're going to spend the rest of our lives together."

Sasuke swallowed, his eyes open as Naruto's heart thudded against his ear. Sasuke always claimed that he was a cynic, which he argued was the only way to be realistic. He took pride in that. So he felt almost foolish when he found himself strongly agreeing with Naruto, from a place deep down that could not be touched by logic.

"One day, this will be nothing to us."

Naruto was the one being left behind. Sasuke was leaving Konoha for a place with boundless opportunities, both social and academic. Naruto would not be left alone, which Sasuke was at least grateful of. He had Iruka and his many friends at school. Still, this would not keep Naruto from missing Sasuke, just as it would not keep Sasuke from missing Naruto. For this reason, he seemed strong to Sasuke in this moment.

"I know."

Naruto nodded, but he looked a little uneasy. Was he putting on a brave face for him?

"What's up?" Sasuke asked, sounding a little concerned.

"When I said that we're gonna spend the rest of our lives together…" Naruto paused, as if he'd briefly lost the nerve to continue. "Do you agree?"

Sasuke's entire body went still for a moment.

"There's no way of knowing that, realistically," Sasuke told him, and Naruto frowned. "But I can't imagine ever being with anyone else. My gut tells me that we'll live our lives together, and I trust it."

His gut, his heart, whatever it was… Sasuke felt like he just knew, despite logical arguments of "people change," "shit happens," and "you can't predict the future." Perhaps it was, to some extent, both a matter of logic and a matter of faith.

Looking up at Sasuke, Naruto smiled warmly, close lipped. It comforted Sasuke in a place that was nearly impossible to reach.

"I'm lucky to have met you."

"And I'm lucky that the trains only start running at five on Sundays," Sasuke teased, and Naruto chuckled. Long ago, the wounds had closed from that night. When they had privacy, they sometimes joked about it. Not many subjects were off limit when it came to the pair's sense of humor. Still, it blew both of their minds how close they had come to losing each other.

"No, really…" Naruto replied, his voice still tinged with laughter for those first two words. "You changed my life. Hell, maybe you even saved it. I have a home because of you. I have friends and go to school. I have a lover. I'm safe and even loved. Don't you worry about us making it through…"

Sasuke breathed deeply, lost in Naruto's eyes as he spoke. Sasuke thought that he could say the same thing. Naruto had saved him from himself.

"I'd follow you anywhere, Sasuke."

Naruto gave Sasuke a slight encouraging smile, and Sasuke, wordless, smiled back.

"I love you more than anything. Get the picture?" Naruto asked, his voice carrying just a hint of teasing.

Sasuke recalled the Pisces constellation, two fish tied together by their tails as they escaped the fire god. Perhaps that was the two of them, standing together in the face of whatever came their way.

"Yeah, yeah…" Sasuke sighed, trying to sound a little tired of the lengthy pep talk, though in reality, he could never explain how much it meant to him. "I love you too."

 

**\---- THE END ----**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the end! Writing this has been an awesome experience. And definitely everyone's comments and support have encouraged me to keep at it. Really, thank you for your support, and thanks for reading!
> 
> I'm working on writing a larger fic right now, but I probably won't publish anything from it several weeks. I may come out with drabbles and 2-3 chapter fics in a closer time frame.  
> Want to influence me?: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/78QMXKD
> 
> Also, I plan on creating an additional "story" for Soup's On side fics! Can't promise how frequently I will update, but they will be little snippets or chapters that occur before, during, or after the time skip. Whatever piques my inspiration. :)
> 
> I may not be checking AO3 as often for the time being, but you can hit up my offansandflames.tumblr.com to ask me any questions you'd like to.
> 
> Again, thank you so much for reading!


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